Latest / OneLegUpAlex Media / One Leg Up on Adapting With The Batman of Lyft Drivers, Joe Murphy 4-5-24

Transcript

One Leg Up on Adapting With The Batman of Lyft Drivers, Joe Murphy 4-5-24 · OneLegUpAlex Media

0:02
Here's your host, Alex Garrett. Welcome inside to a very special edition of
0:09
Adapting with Alex Scarrett and One leg Up with Alex Scarrett. Because on the
0:13
adapting side, I've got a man who I met at the National Publicity Summit
0:18
a few years ago already, but his story stuck out to me so much,
0:23
so I kept his one sheet and his contact info and I said,
0:26
let's get you on here and with me now from livingfoltilt dot com. The
0:31
man behind all of that is Joe Murphy, your local lift driver you know
0:36
in certain areas. Joe, thanks for joining me. Well you wilcome,
0:41
Alice. I think it's a pleasure. I appreciate the opportunity to talk with
0:44
you, to visit again, and this is share some thoughts expir So we
0:50
were talking off air a lot, and your story and my story are kind
0:54
of similar. Now tell the audience your story and how we kind of intersect
0:59
in our lives, if you will, well the many I think that you
1:03
from what I understand, you and I both and many others. Uh,
1:08
we have we have a traumatic experience early in our life and we find a
1:14
way that we take value, we receive value from it. The I mean
1:19
when something, when something, when something unexpectedly happens. Uh, we can
1:25
either see it as a curse or dismiss it or see it as a gift.
1:30
And you, I think you and myself and others have paid people I've
1:37
given rights to have shared with me. How they they they see these seemingly
1:42
instrematable odds. They find the value in it. And I say, there's
1:48
I share my passengers that we can we can set a default position perspective.
1:57
Perspective is everything, and we can set a default perspective that there is a
2:04
gift there for me, there's something positive, because everything has a positive or
2:07
negative charge, right, absolutely? And so how did you turn your traumatic
2:14
life experience into a positive Joe, It's the strangest thing, Alex. I
2:20
went through my childhood thinking that was a victim. I had fallen out of
2:24
a car when I was four, broke my head, neardly died a couple
2:28
of times, damaged my brain, lost my hearing, and I was fair.
2:32
I didn't feel like I fit into school at all because I was I
2:36
couldn't do I couldn't play sports, I couldn't do anything in my classmates did.
2:40
And so I was constantly asking myself. I was wrapped up in my
2:44
own pain and misery and constantly asking myself why I'm me and how was I
2:49
going to get out of this? And when I was walking home from school
2:53
when I was nine, out of kind of like the burning bush, told
2:59
most I am that I am, I had a moment where I just suddenly
3:02
said the only way I was going to save myself was to save others.
3:07
And by save, what I meant was feel connected, feeling important, felt
3:12
like I was part of the group. And then when I was I did
3:16
it. When I was about nineteen years old, I had met a girl
3:22
and she had invited me to a birthday party for a classmate. And as
3:27
I walked as after I picked her up, we walked onto the porch of
3:30
the birthday party girl's house and I reached the knock on the door, I
3:38
had this flash, no one here knows me. I can be the person
3:44
I want to be. I'm no longer trapped. I have a choice.
3:50
And that realization that I have a choice I had never thought. I had
3:55
never thought to that moment I had a choice. I thought I was trapped
4:00
being a victim, But right there I realized I have a choice. Well,
4:06
fully on that car. I mean, my goodness, four years old,
4:12
probably wasn't sure what the heck was going on. Now your your family
4:16
came back to get you obviously, right, Oh yeah, I mean they
4:20
they immediately stopped came back and I mean I was bleeding on the ground,
4:25
broke my head. They rushed me to the hospital where I nearly died a
4:30
couple of times. And uh, but I've survived. I guess you could
4:39
say I'm with survivor oh, oh my gosh, without a doubt now,
4:44
uh four years old. So then I feel like that changed your life and
4:47
you carried it through and I see you've created a few different entities. There's
4:54
the family Resource network, I believe I was reading here on livingpoto dot com
4:59
and different things. So this traumatic injury at four years old propelled you to
5:04
do something and make a difference then, or of that, like is what
5:09
I'm hearing, because you created all these different outlets based on that trauma and
5:13
said I'm going to live past that trauma and do something with it and make
5:15
make it a positive. Almost well, really, Alice said, was really
5:21
self survival. The try. I mean when I was nine and walking home
5:26
and I had that woman I vound I was going to do that. So
5:31
I had one of my favorite skills that I had picked up and developed is
5:35
I'm able to see how to connect being of service to the world in a
5:43
way to save me. I do everything I do is for me. I
5:48
mean, I don't mean to sound selfish, but anything I do is for
5:51
me to make my life better. And when I and what I send out
5:56
the world comes back to me, and that's really what it's all out.
6:00
You seem like you should do a master class on karma, because isn't that
6:03
what it's about. It's about putting out the universe what you want to get
6:06
back type of thing. Yes, if I give back, I will.
6:13
I'm giving to myself because what I send out the world comes back to me.
6:18
Well, I know that you are hard of hearing. That's one thing
6:21
you mentioned. Were there any other repercussions from that injury that maybe you didn't
6:27
recover from and still have to adapt to to this day. Well, the
6:31
thing was when I got to school, I couldn't play the sports, and
6:36
I couldn't do what my classmates did, and they didn't do what I did,
6:40
which would be put out of class twice a week to go to speech
6:43
therapy to learn how to say sounds that I couldn't hear. So since I
6:48
couldn't hear a number of sounds, I talked funny. And I was very
6:53
conscious of my talk, talking funny, people not being able to understand me
6:59
frequently and driving this It was almost like a setting me up to take a
7:05
deep dive into pain so I could rebound and come back up higher. Does
7:13
that make sense? Oh? Absolutely? And so as you got older and
7:18
then you have this experience at nine years old, but ad get older,
7:24
was this sort of a talking I hate to say a talking point, but
7:27
was this sort of a story you would share with your classmates a year and
7:30
a year out that hey, look I've overcome this. I mean, I
7:33
feel like you wouldn't have kept on night to yourself throughout high school? Right?
7:38
Yes? Yes? And all through all through school I was still taking
7:44
that deep dive. I saw myself this inferior. I saw myself as a
7:48
victim, and I was a pity walking pity party, if you will.
7:55
When did you know that maybe I hate to say it, but maybe this
7:58
was God's blessing. Did you ever feel like that at some point like,
8:01
Okay, this was meant to happen. We don't know why, but maybe
8:03
it's God's play. Oh, I think absolutely it was. And I mean
8:09
there's no to my mind, there's no part, there's no question to that.
8:13
It says that I had to get a little, I had to position,
8:16
I had the age a little. They had to come to a little
8:18
more wisdom and insight. But the like I say, it was that moment
8:24
walking on the porch, knocking and knock on the door, when I realized
8:28
I have a choice. I have a choice. I can receive this gift
8:33
that has come to me, or I can continue to not to I can
8:43
continue to wait to receive it, because the gift never goes away, just
8:46
waits it for me, for us to receive it. The uh, you
8:52
know, I tell my many of my passengers. I have wonderful conversations with
8:56
my little passengers. Let's get to that. The whole premise of why I
9:01
brought you on is because you've become a lift driver. Now. To be
9:03
honest, Joe, your story, I feel like you're the Batman of Lyft.
9:07
Right. So, he of course was afraid of bats and everything,
9:11
and he becomes Batman. Well, you fall out of a car and now
9:15
you're a lift driver. So I feel like you've become put of a superhero
9:18
when it comes to cars and driving a lift. So tell us how you
9:22
started that journey, because I know, based on my experience in New York,
9:26
some people had big businesses lost it during the pandemic, lost work and
9:31
picked up lift driving. Was that sort of your case as well? Well?
9:35
Actually I picked up lift driving when I had been fired. I was
9:39
fired from a job I was doing and I needed to shoot my family to
9:43
survive. And I knew I could. I knew I could drive. I
9:48
love to drive, so I knew I could do that. In the UH,
9:54
it was fun, It was funny. And when I started driving a
9:56
lift driver, at least here in Texas, we can't drive more than twelve
10:00
hours a day. Twelve hours is the limit. So I was working.
10:05
I was working twelve hours every day, and the I realized I discovered that
10:13
LIFT had back then in twenty sixteen, Lift had a bonus I could.
10:18
They would pay for drivers that had one hundred drives a week. It seems
10:22
they would give an additional bonus two up to two fifty a week, and
10:28
my family needed that money. But I was working twelve hours a day and
10:31
I was getting about eight rides a day I was seeing, and it took
10:35
twenty rides an average of twenty rinds for that to happen. I would look
10:41
at the end of the day, at the end of my shift, I
10:43
would look at my schedule and I could see that about three or four hours
10:50
of my time total time had been waiting. And today we have lyft drivers
10:54
wait I mean they go to the airport to wait to give rhyns. They
10:58
go downtown or wherever it's busy. And that's what I was doing, going
11:03
to where lifts said to go when they said they were busy. And I
11:05
was still having all this wait time lost time. But I discovered that there
11:11
was a Persian poet, mystic sage named Ruby or u m I back in
11:16
twelve hundred his work. He's one of the most read poets today. Still.
11:22
His work was on love. But he had one little autobiographer writing that
11:28
it speaks volume soulex. He said, I realized one day. I realized
11:35
that when I spent my day chasing what I thought I wanted, I generally
11:41
ended a day frustrated and unhappy, and that's why people, many people are
11:46
today frustrated and unhappy. But he went on to say, he said,
11:52
I realized that what I was chasing wanted me. That's why I was chasing
11:58
it. Life had position did to bring it to my attention so I could
12:03
see it, become aware and chase it. And that is also a way
12:07
I think I fell out. I think I had the terrible accident. So
12:11
I could have become aware of this, of my mission and I could pursue
12:18
it. I could, or asked I could. I could learn to let
12:22
it come to me. And that's what Roomy said. He said, what
12:26
I want wants me, and if I do not chase it, it will
12:30
come to me. So I played with this with Lift driving and I said,
12:37
okay, so what is it I want? I want twenty twenty five
12:41
ridings a day and I want to be close to me. So I wrote
12:45
all this down and I said, okay, now I have Now that I
12:46
have this, how do I start? Like I when Lift says to start,
12:50
And I said, I said, no, if my if my rides
12:54
want me, they will come to me, So I will get ready.
12:58
It's when I want to start my day and I'll turn on the amp.
13:03
But then I'm going to relax, do some writing, or have some coffee
13:07
with my wife, or just enjoy myself. And when the app, when
13:11
the riotings start coming in, I will respond and it works. I could
13:16
charm I just when I when all of a sudden, and it started then
13:22
and it has to continued today when I'm when I turn on my app and
13:26
I'm ready to receive the rids just come to me. I stay busy and
13:33
I wrote, I write down things, and I find it manifests in real
13:37
life. After it may I'll take you know, a day after you write
13:41
it, but it'll it'll come eventually, right. And that's the thing about
13:46
it is you have to have that patience of all right, well I'm gonna
13:48
write this down. We can't expect to happen right away, but it will
13:50
happen. And that that's your living proof of that, and the you know,
13:54
it's not when we when something happens. Thank you, by the way,
14:01
when something none expected happens, we can see it as a inconvenience,
14:05
or we can see it as a dismiss it, or see it as a
14:09
gift. And my my rationale for seeing it as a gift is I believe
14:16
that each and every one of us is loved by our creator. We were
14:18
created and we are loved, and we are giving everything we need. But
14:24
it's on us. It's upon us to receive it, be ready to receive
14:28
it. And things often come and in the ways that we don't expect,
14:31
that we don't recognize when we first see it. I would you have probably
14:35
had things happen that when they've happened, it was seeing convenient, but then
14:39
look back like that was important. You've had that experience, have seen Uh,
14:45
yeah, I have fallen on my skate a few times, and that's
14:48
yeah, always sort of like a shown that no matter how invincible you feel,
14:52
you can always be knocked down a few pegs. That's that's for sure.
14:56
Hey, Joe, I've gotta I'm gonna ask you this. In your
15:01
time lift driving, it seems to me because of the conversational tone, you
15:05
might have saved some lives of your passengers in the sense of you change your
15:09
life by just talking to them on the ride. Did you ever experience that,
15:15
Oh, I'll tell you, alex See, I've experienced that many times.
15:18
And one of my favorite. Two of my favorite times, if you
15:20
will, was one I had. I had a nurse that worked at a
15:24
senior center, and I had a way of repeatedly picking her up, maybe
15:31
every month or two months, And one day she said to me, and
15:37
I don't mean it was tying to I'm bragging here, but it felt good
15:39
to me. She said, Oh, Joe, God was listening to me.
15:45
I saw you were coming, and I was grateful because I needed to
15:50
talk with you. It made me feel so good. And then another time
15:56
I happened there was I was given a high school student a number of rides
16:00
that over over the course of a year, I've given him a number of
16:03
rides to school and shared with him some thonks. And one day on a
16:10
Saturday, I got a request from his hand. I recognized the address and
16:15
went over there and it was it was a woman that walked out, and
16:19
it turned out to be his mother. And she got in the car and
16:23
I started to share a few thoks with her, and she said to me,
16:26
she said, I think you've given my son some rads and I said,
16:32
well, yes I have, and she she said, can I give
16:34
you a hug after you gave me some rids. He came home and we
16:41
had a meaningful conversation and that was so important. Can I give you a
16:47
hug? You know? I told her she made my day. Wow,
16:52
that is And of course that's a very fragile time because our teenagers and if
16:56
if life's not as good for them, they need that uplifting spirit. And
17:00
I feel like you you must have been uplifting. Now, how about you
17:03
any any stories you can say that changed your life from hearing like, oh
17:08
my god, I learned from this person. I feel like every car ride
17:11
you can learn from someone, right. Oh yes, I mean you absolutely
17:17
can. The uh. One of my favorite times of experiences of learning from
17:22
my passenger was the he had told I had picked up a picked up a
17:30
younger man. He was, I mean, I'm younger now I'm I I
17:34
bear in mind, I'm seventy six. I'm an old gill. The this
17:38
guy was about fifty five. Normally I would say he was People say he
17:44
was an older guy, but not old like me. But I love being
17:48
an old one. But the he said to me that he had had a
17:53
time when he really had doubts if he was going to make it through the
17:57
day, and said that I couldn't identify with that. And he told me
18:03
that the way, the way, what had saved him, what had what
18:08
he had seen him through the through the town, was that he just never
18:15
gave up. He just never gave up. And when things he learned to
18:22
see everything in his mind and his words, he saw it as a as
18:29
a big puzzle coming together. In fact, this based on his what he
18:34
told me. I put I created a little a little story about the I
18:38
call it my puzzle analogy, but it but it's sure. I think it
18:44
helps to see and I got it from him when he told me every he
18:48
can see these pieces. When we see a puzzle coming together, we can't
18:52
identify it. We couldn't generally, we couldn't see what to say, what
18:55
the puzzle was going to look like. But as each piece falls in and
18:59
only goes one place, it begins if we enlarge our perspective, it begins
19:06
to make sense, and then before we know it, it's all there and
19:11
it's a beautiful picture. And that was a very to me. It was
19:15
a very inspiring and also enlightening moment. All right, well, let me
19:22
ask you about this because sometimes I'm milk gilt of this. U. If
19:26
I'm doing an early morning shifting radio or something like that, I'm not always
19:30
talking to However, how do you get someone to talk to you? I
19:34
feel like you need that conversation to make the ride enjoyable, eventful Or do
19:41
you leave them alone? How does that work when they don't want to talk?
19:44
Oh, the I tell, I say my passengers when they get in
19:48
the chorus. I've got I have two priorities for this thread. First and
19:56
foremost of courses to give you a rid that you feel safe, secure,
20:00
comfortable, and you enjoy. That's first priority. Second priority is I want
20:06
to share a little positivity. Now I'm not to share some positivity, but
20:11
but if if you want a quiet rat if you want a peaceful rad uh,
20:15
you got things on your mind you want to do and not listen,
20:19
Just tell me what you want because the first priority is for you to enjoy.
20:25
Right. Well, how about ever, ever, go to an area
20:27
where there's just like nightlife and kids, even college kids, you know,
20:32
having the time of the life and the left. Do you ever take those
20:34
rides? Do you stay away from the night life scene? Oh, I
20:37
don't. I don't like the night life scene. The night life scene is
20:45
oftentimes people are ready to talk, but they've after they've had they got one
20:49
thing on their mind, and they've liked most of the time. They've already
20:53
had started having a good time and having some drinks, and it's not a
21:00
what I would call a serious conversation, So I just stay away from them.
21:04
I did that for about two weeks to begin in the very beginning back
21:08
in sixteen. This might be an interesting question. I don't know, but
21:14
some drivers like to just have the nice approach and nice h not facade,
21:19
but they just want to make the ride enjoyable and everything. But then they
21:22
ask you, hey, rate me after the trip. I mean, I
21:25
feel like you're not doing this for the ratings. You're doing this because you
21:27
want to connect with people, right, And I never mentioned I do not
21:33
mention giving me. I do not mention ratings or mention a tip or any
21:41
I don't mention anything other than I just want to I generally in my ride
21:48
with in the rider saying I just want to remember one thing above all else.
21:52
Just remember you are loved, still more than you can imagine. You
21:59
are loved and you are important, and nothing in the world can disrupt that.
22:04
Feeling unless you let it happen. Wow, that is that is very
22:11
very deep. And I can imagine when someone leaves your car, it's and
22:15
it impacts them and six with them so much. So I know some contact
22:18
you after their ride, right, Yeah, I had contact people send me
22:23
go go on my website livingfootel dot com and they send me questions, they
22:29
send me comments. I had a father give me a call during my ride
22:34
at back I dropped this daughter off. He gave me a call and thanked
22:38
me for getting this picking this daughter up. And when she had had a
22:41
bad ending to a date and was in a bad state of mind, and
22:47
he called me and thanked me and and just wanted to let me know how
22:51
much she appreciated my words to her because when she got home she was feeling
22:56
better again. I know you don't like to compare itself to others, but
22:59
I just wish more drivers in New York were like you. I feel like
23:02
here they're so i'd say money hungry, but they're about the ride. They're
23:06
about trying to make a connection off the app. But really they just want
23:10
you as a sort of a taxi service and not so much as a person.
23:15
You're not like that at all. So when you see and and do
23:18
you hear stories of lift horror stories that your driver that your writers tell you
23:22
like, oh my god, this other driver wasn't nice to you. Do
23:25
you ever hear that, Oh, I've heard, yes, good question.
23:30
Now for some horror stories about other drivers and had the some were falling asleep
23:41
at the wheel and the person had the passenger had to keep talking to them
23:44
to keep them away. And another one where they were just mad and angry
23:51
at the world and just grabbing like that's crazy. But the I this encourage
23:59
people will to understand that we haven't been in that person's shoes and that there's
24:06
not there's nothing personal. Don't take anything personal. But I do want to
24:11
mention one thing you had said that I want to go back to something you
24:15
said a moment ago about uh perspective on my driver driver, my perspective with
24:22
with my passengers, and that is that I like you no I used I
24:29
think I think that every one of us, even these driverries that are sleeping,
24:34
that falling sip at the wheel, wish that sin excuseable. But even
24:37
then, we're all doing the best we can, trying to make ends meet.
24:42
People with some Most driveries are just totally chasing the dollar, chasing the
24:48
passengers, so sure they can they can't make enough money. But in my
24:52
book, I call I call it my ass my ass process, and I
24:59
say, there's there's two ways, two approaches. One we can see,
25:03
want and pursue. And when we when we pursue, see something that we
25:07
want and we pursue it, it generally appears that there's more people pursuing it
25:12
than there is it to get called. And it can be, it can
25:15
play, It can make a dodge to the left and we're about to close
25:19
in on it and we've come up imprehended or on the other other choice.
25:25
But there's always our choice. We can imagine, ask and receive. And
25:30
like you said a moment ago, and like I said with Roomy, and
25:33
then you mentioned the manifesting, we can imagine what we want, and I
25:40
imagine I want. My writers want me. So I just spend time going
25:45
one writer to another, because my writers want me. We live the story.
25:51
We tell her son, Joe, I gotta I gotta say if I
25:55
can indulge one experience, because this is just you wouldn't do that. But
26:00
I had a driver that told me, oh, here, let me help
26:03
you out of the car. As you know, I have crutches in one
26:04
leg and a disability. I don't let that stop me. But I got
26:08
the worldview of one of these drivers are like, oh, well, you
26:11
know you should rate me because I opened the door for you. And I
26:15
said, is that really what it's come to for a lift driver? That's
26:18
the rating? I almost wanted to give them nothing because it's like, why
26:22
act like that? And I believe there are other lift drivers like that?
26:26
And here you are saying, you know, no, there could be some
26:30
goodness in our lift drivers, I think is the point you're trying to make.
26:33
Yeah, well, there's goodness in everyone, even the people that we
26:37
don't we think, we don't like, we don't understand how they think they
26:41
do what they do. There's goodness in everyone. Joe, you are in
26:48
your seventies, so obviously there's a great debate about whether how old someone should
26:52
be behind the wheel. I had to go there, But I have to
26:56
ask when someone does drive with you, when they see your older does that
27:02
does that draw them to ask questions like how are you doing this in the
27:04
seventies and not retired? That type of thing. Well, I often get
27:10
asked if I'm retired, if I had retired or doing this in my retirement.
27:14
I tell them now that when I was, when I've been my wife
27:18
and now this year we're going to celebrate our fifty second anniversary. But back
27:22
in sixty nine, when I asked Pam to marry me, after she said
27:27
yes, I said, you just kind of understand one thing, sweetheart,
27:30
and that is if you marry me, you're going to work forever. And
27:34
she looked at me and smiled and chuckled and asked me why would she do
27:38
that because that was not her plans. She'd know anyone that had worked forever.
27:44
And I said, you'd work forever because I want you to do something
27:48
you enjoy you do, and if you enjoy what you do, and why
27:52
do you ever start the Uh, I'm very fortunate, very I'm a bless
28:00
person. We all are, but I'm blessed. I don't I don't look
28:03
seventy six. The I don't that seventy six. So people, Uh,
28:08
there's been a couple of people who kind of read my mind and they said,
28:14
you're you're seventy something years old or something like that. And I said,
28:18
yeah, but the most people don't think of me as seventy being older
28:22
person at least not that on and the it's just a saying engage makes the
28:33
difference in the When we stay engaged with what we're doing, and we're connecting
28:40
and being of service to others and we're loving what we do, then I
28:45
think that my writers want me to come picking up some ride of ages that
28:52
is not a problem to it. I also ask that because obviously every passage
29:00
I could think of gets frustrated with the GPS. So when it comes to
29:04
the GPS, what's your take on that? Do you feel like you'd rather
29:10
listen to where the passenger. I feel like the passenger knows where it's they're
29:14
going more than the GPS. What did you say, Oh, I tell
29:18
my now. Some I hear stories of some drivers that will not listen to
29:22
the passenger. But I tell my passenger right after I told them, I
29:26
have two priorities. I tell them, now, listen. I could not
29:30
do my job. It's up my amp because I couldn't get here about it.
29:33
But you're in the car now, so you and you, I asked,
29:37
I said, no, you can see I have a my screen up
29:41
there. I say, you can see my map right, and they say
29:42
yes. So if you see my MAMP and you think there's a better way
29:47
to go, let me know. And that's how we're going because you know
29:51
how you want to go. And that's how I feel too. But I
29:55
also know that some drivers and you could probably agree with me or things,
30:00
that if they don't go with the GPS, they're gonna get bad ratings.
30:03
And my thought is, well, the passenger comes first over the GPS,
30:06
So I'm glad we see eye to eye on that passenger. The pass and
30:14
listen to the passenger. You know, as you're driving, do you ever
30:21
get that fear that you're gonna fall out of the car Again, I don't
30:25
want to put that out there, but I did fall out of a car,
30:32
and uh it changed my life forever. I'm grateful for that now.
30:37
I wasn't at one time. But like Kaylee Gabron said, the cup that
30:41
we drink out of is deeper by our pain and it can only hold as
30:47
much joy as we have experienced pain. The uh So, like I said,
30:52
I think that was all for me to take a go down, take
30:56
a deep dive. So I could rebound and come back up. But I
31:00
never feel like I'm never I don't never have a thought of fallowing at a
31:03
car or having a car problem, a challenge in the car. To God,
31:11
to that that's that's great because it means that that trauma inside you is
31:15
not it is sort of I say it, but it's not. It's not
31:22
resonating with you to the point of you're afraid to be behind the wheel.
31:25
And that's a very important thing. I think drivers should not be afrayd behind
31:27
the wheel. And I think some are right. I mean, there's that
31:30
too. Oh yeah, some people are just so desperate and you know people
31:34
people I want to say, this may not be clear, but I can
31:40
see how it connects. But I hope I can make it, explain it.
31:44
But nothing, nothing in this world is personal. This world is a
31:48
series of event response, reaction, event response, and that response becomes an
31:56
event which becomes girls and response. We have if we don't take things personal,
32:01
we cannot we can does not have an emotion, a negative emotional connection
32:07
to it, or I fear connected to it. People often ask me if
32:12
I get frustrated with traffic, and I said, no, there's no I
32:15
don't have any control over So does you know you just learn to accept it
32:20
and deal with whatever is in front of you without having a negative emotion connection.
32:25
Now, what's your geographic Where do you drive in Texas? I'm in
32:30
a suburb of Dallas, so I grave all over the Dallas Fort Worth area.
32:35
Well, my ex and I went to Arlington to watch wheelchair basketball.
32:42
And of course, the other thing about lift that I'm trying to change the
32:45
conversation on is we need more drivers or accessible accessible friendly like people can accommodate
32:52
powerchairs and wheelchairs and unfortunately in Texas and in Long Island that does not exist.
32:59
On my ext the time, and I know powered chair, me and
33:01
my roll escape were rolling to Arlington University, the University of Arlington, Texas
33:07
Arlington took about an hour both ways, but it was worth it and uh
33:13
it just maybe you can talk about the accessibility. Is there much of a
33:16
lift accessibility down there or is that something you'd like to see changed the we
33:22
have. I see vehicles that are not not lift but but passenger but for
33:29
hire vehicles that have that pick up uh powered uh wheelchairs, But for myself,
33:37
I uh and lift is always sending always repeatedly send us some message it
33:42
seems like about every quart calendar quarter saying reminding drivers that we must we must
33:49
pick up anyone that has a guide dog, a guide animal, or has
33:57
a UH chair or has a has an issue. I never have an issue
34:06
get picking up pets or picking up when someone has a classical wheelchair, I
34:14
jump out of the car to help them with it and then put it in
34:17
the trunk and then get it get it back for him. And that's some
34:22
them. I wish him to take care of themselves and be patient and understanding
34:29
those that that can accept that, you know, as being of adaptability and
34:36
changing the world of the evs taking over our roads. I'd be like,
34:40
you're an old school kind of I want to keep my gas vehicle guy,
34:45
and I don't think don't have to worry about that in Texas. But does
34:47
the EV push scare you when it comes to the future of automotives, Well,
34:53
no, the I have a hybrid. I have a toilet avalon hybrid,
35:00
and I think, personally, I think hybrids are the are the best
35:05
solution because I don't I may drive five hundred miles in a day and there's
35:10
no even yet there the pure ev that will do five hundred miles about stopping
35:15
for a charge, and but my gap, but my my highbred, uh,
35:22
the charges itself. So all I do is buy gas a whole lot
35:24
less often. So you're not you've kind of embraced it. That that's great.
35:30
I know some people have not embraced it fully. What's your favorite car
35:36
you've ever owned? Though? Maybe you're your passengers the same touch with you
35:38
and know you through living full tilt, but they don't know your favorite car
35:42
you've ever driven? Tell me that. Tell you when we repeat that,
35:47
Tell you what your favorite car ever that you ever drove? My favorite car?
35:55
Every room that would I I was to say, I like Toyotas.
36:04
I've been driving to my wife and I bought a Toyota Silica back in seventy
36:07
two when they first came out, and we've been driving Toyotas ever since.
36:13
The I'd driven Camris forever until my last one died to put two hundred thousand
36:17
miles on it grabbing club and it died in the Then I got this Avalon,
36:24
and this Avalon is my favorite car because it is it's like a CAMERI
36:31
on steroids. In a way. It's a little bit bigger, a little
36:34
bit quieter, and much quieter. And the quietness really is important to me
36:37
because I have a real challenge hearing in the Uh. But I don't I
36:45
don't like buying gas. I buy a lot less gas. And so I
36:51
think I answered your question. Toyota is nice. You know, as we're
36:54
talking, I'm thinking, you ever driving Manhattan? I mean, you ever
36:58
experienced Manhattan drapped? Oh? I experienced traffic. I mean all traffic is
37:07
as good as the road that slowed down. I mean, I don't mean
37:10
to sound ridiculous, but have you ever driven in Manhattan? Because that's always
37:14
a challenge. I feel like when people try and drive in Manhattan. I
37:22
mean you said driving in Manhattan, like I've ever drove in New York City
37:27
before he asked me where I've driven? No, I have been in New
37:31
York. Well, of course, as you and I met in New York.
37:35
But I but but and I took a we had a few lifts in
37:38
New York, and I was we were fortunately had great drivers, very friendly.
37:45
But I have never driven. Uh, I've driven overseas. I've driven
37:52
in Dallas. Dallas is pretty can have pretty really heavy traffic you experienced that,
37:58
I think you said when you went to Arlington in Arlington, and uh,
38:05
but I think traffic if even when it's this barely moving a little bit
38:12
at a shop, go ever stopping you can do to stopping goals and ever
38:16
in a minute. Uh, it's just a case of being not not letting
38:23
that traffic delay bother you, just being in the moment, present and aware
38:30
of your situation, and and talking and engage with with watching traffic and talking
38:37
talking with ourselves or listening to music, or or or talking to my passenger.
38:44
Did I answer your question? All? Right? Well, now that
38:46
you got to music, what's your favorite music to listen to while you're driving
38:51
around as a lift driver and just a driver in general. Well, as
38:55
I mean, I enjoy, I'm really I really love old time rock and
39:01
roll, Elvis, Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis. I mean that's where
39:07
I grew up. Okay, I like, but I like any music that
39:10
has positive uh positive lyrics. Uh. And I like some of Garth Brooks
39:20
songs. One song where he says he's called the change. He says he
39:24
reaches out to save save one person, and people say, well, what
39:29
good you do? Did you do by saving one person? Because there's a
39:32
thousand that you didn't save. And Garth says in the song and the lyrics
39:37
go, I tell them, I'm not trying to save the world. I'm
39:42
telling the world it won't change me because so many things happen in this world,
39:47
and we let those negative things change us. Uh. But any any
39:53
music that has a positive lyric or uh Neil Diamond had a uh as A
40:02
has a song called a man I'm a man of God where he says,
40:07
Uh, I hear my I sing out loud, and I when I hear
40:13
my voice, I think it's his and I I just give all credit to
40:17
the creator. But I will some here and there. Oh, I was
40:23
gonna say, well Waylon Jennings and uh Willie Nelson had a song how they
40:30
get it doesn't get better than this? And I changed that song, change
40:35
the lyrics to say how to ask how does it get better than this?
40:38
Is? This is great? How does it get better than this? Because
40:43
that I ain't I see that as a positive manifesting. Uh question asking the
40:47
universe how does it get better than this? But positive uplift this? And
40:55
so I'm sure You're going to keep on lift driving and doing living life on
41:01
full tilt if you will. But do the drives? Have the drives diminish?
41:07
Like? Are you doing less rides or more rides in the twenty twenty
41:10
five? What's the ratio now? Well, actually the ratio is I am
41:19
doing less friends because but in more rides per Ever, I am where I
41:25
was working twelve hours a day now I work about four hours. Today I
41:30
work about four hours and do about ten rides, and I've been averaging that
41:36
for the I guess the past year. Do you feel like a personal friendship
41:42
with a passenger is achievable? I mean, you've seen it, but I
41:45
feel like there are some drivers that don't understand the community, the the interpersonal
41:52
connection to their passenger. They just sort of let let us in and then
41:55
go their own way, don't really talk, and then there are those who
41:59
do. So do you wish more drivers were talking to their passengers? I
42:05
think through past, you know, we're all on this journey of our own
42:08
little journey, and I think that where we are is right where we're supposed
42:13
to be for where we're where we are in our perspective, But when we
42:19
get to the perspective that we can have a personal relationship with a stranger and
42:25
walk away with it, like you said. Like you said, we can
42:30
learn from our passengers. We can learn from everyone. We can have a
42:34
personal connection with a stranger, visit for maybe five or ten minutes or longer,
42:39
and carry them with us what we learned in our connection, because science
42:46
tells us that when two when two items connect, they always stay connected.
42:57
Just because we don't see the connection doesn't mean it's not there, so to
43:01
be we can be mindful of it, carry that mindfulness with us. There
43:07
was a there was a there was a book back in the seventies, I
43:09
want to say the seventies before your time, called Jonathan Livings in Seagull.
43:15
It was a big book at the time, but one and in that there
43:21
was there was the lead character Jonathan, Jonathan Segull and his friend Fletcher,
43:28
and Flesher said that Jonathan, Jonathan, I'm going to miss you. As
43:31
as he was preparing to leave, and he said, Fletch, what have
43:36
we been talking? We've been talking about This world is not what we see.
43:39
This world is this connection we have, and that connection is always with
43:44
us. We have we we already have a personal connection with everyone that we
43:50
come in contact with, and those we haven't, but we just haven't renewed
43:53
it, and we until we do it waste their a doormance for us.
43:59
Did I answer question? Very much? So, Joe, this has been
44:02
really enlightening, and I feel like I can ask you tons of more questions,
44:06
like how many people? Would you say? How many passengers? Because
44:12
there was sort of a number on your website and you're one cheap, but
44:15
give us an average of how many passengers you befriended is in one hundred two
44:21
hundred and then really stayed friends with I've given over fifteen thousand or ads,
44:27
and I have made deep conversation or as I said, guy, I have
44:32
I have renewed or refreshed our connection with what's about ten thousand? I would
44:42
love to have you back on as we continue. Know it's the New York
44:45
Auto Show this week, so I feel like this conversation on driving and on
44:49
cars is perfect timing for the Auto show here in New York and maybe an
44:52
inspiration to those little drivers that well, you're you're very You're very can and
45:00
generous and gracious, and I appreciate I appreciate our connection. I'm so glad
45:07
that that four year old became a lift driver and overcame that trauma of falling
45:12
out of a car. And now look at you. You're you're You're like
45:15
a masterclass. I'm being a lift driver. How about that? Well,
45:19
thank you. That's like I said earlier, I've learned. It's to me
45:24
again. I don't mean to sounds selfish, but to me, it's all
45:28
about me developing my skills and connections and the flow saving my son. And
45:37
we are all connected. We're all in that, we're all in this game
45:40
together. I have to say, we're at a party and nobody's going home
45:45
till we all go home. When we connect with someone and we are make
45:51
a friendly, loving connection, you know. Uh. Albert Einstein said,
45:57
the most important decision that any of us making this world number one decision is
46:02
do we believe we live in a hostel or a friendly universe? And I'd
46:09
like to use the word a loving universe. I believe, I am certain
46:15
that we all live in this loving universe waiting for each one of us,
46:20
patiently waiting for each one of us to awaken to that love within us.
46:25
Rumy said, there's more love within us than we could ever imagine. Amen,
46:31
while Joe keeps running that love in your lift car, and please come
46:37
back for another conversation as maybe more projects are on the horizon for you.
46:42
Would love to talk catch up more? Well, I always I would like
46:45
that the one they haven't thinking that I'd like to hear. I think my
46:52
understanding and expectation is that you have done quite a bit yourself and how you
46:58
have overcome or use what the events of your life to make the positive difference.
47:06
And I'm not to hear more about that. Well, you know,
47:10
it's it's I was luckily born with one leg, so I had no big
47:16
trauma with that. It's just that I've been able to navigate the world on
47:22
one leg, which I just think is a blessing that every time I look
47:24
down at my one foot, I think, thank God he made me this
47:28
way. I'll put it that way. Isn't it incredible? I mean,
47:35
and when each one of us, as we get to that perspective and our
47:39
perspective emerges and in margins where we can see that wherever we're at, we
47:45
may be knee deep in alligators, but if we're there, there's something positive
47:51
for us there, because there's a positive and a negative to everything, and
47:54
we get to choose which one we focus on. Is what it's about.
48:02
I think we all got to live to our highest potential. Right, that's
48:06
kind of what you're talking. That's what we're here to grow. Did you
48:15
have from what you've done a remarkable with John growing? Well, I've got
48:21
to thank my whole family. I've got a whole support to semester you did,
48:25
and together we're just kicking ass, you and I in this world in
48:30
New York. That's right, And thank God brought you back. Thank God
48:37
your parents brought you to uh, you know, brought you to the parent
48:44
to the e r. I mean, they seem like caring parents throughout,
48:46
and I'm sure did they change the way they care for you after that fall
48:51
where they traumatized the point of they wanted a helicopter you or how do they
48:53
let let go of you in a sense of letting you grow? Oh?
48:58
They were really they were over protective. The I had a younger. I
49:04
was the first born, their first child, and there I was at four
49:08
and nearly lost people. I was, you know, I mean I had
49:14
this problem going forward and then they had a second child who who didn't make
49:21
it to the first birthday, and so they were very overprotective. Two years
49:27
later they had another child. They had another I had a brother and a
49:30
sister after that, so there was the three of us stair Hill today.
49:36
But they were they were overprotective of me, and but they they were they
49:44
were doing the best they could and that they loved me. And I always
49:49
felt love, but I just didn't to understand why. I wasn't why what
49:53
was wrong with me? But I just didn't really realized the journey I was
49:59
on. And you know, we don't know. We can't say for sure
50:02
until we look back. And looking back, I can see how this was
50:07
all almost like it was a puzzle coming together and made a beautiful picture.
50:13
Well, I'd love to leave that right there and let people listen back to
50:17
this podcast for more of your wisdom and come back and tell us how you're
50:22
living full tills, because I feel like the summer the rides are going to
50:25
pick up. Maybe you have some stories tell us from the summer. How
50:30
about we check in after the summer and see how it went. These days,
50:34
I drive from three thirty in the morning to about seven thirty in the
50:37
morning, and I just in that period of time, I do about eight
50:42
to ten rads, and I do rids the year round. From where they
50:45
were going to take it, picking up at the hospital emergency room, going
50:50
home, or going to the club to get where they left the car the
50:53
night before they took I got a lift home, or I mean says people
51:00
working getting off the night shift. There's always people moving, always, people
51:06
needing a rite, always people uh drivers wanted to give her and drive during
51:13
the pandemic, Joe, I have to ask you that, to ask me
51:15
that again. Were you driving during the pandemic as well? No, I
51:22
quit. My wife was very concerned. I mean, the pandemic was a
51:30
time of a lot of fear and uncertainty, and and so to please her
51:38
for her peace of mind, I quit driving. And then I resumed driving.
51:49
And let's see, I resumed driving in twenty one. I loved this.
51:53
I loved driving. I loved meeting and sharing of people and helping people
51:58
feel connect with their power within them. Well, Joe, this has been
52:04
great and very inspirational, and I look to have you back and thanks again,
52:07
and we'll do this again soon. I'll look forward to now, if
52:10
you take care of Buddy, that was Joe Murphy, the lyft driver,
52:14
you want to have on the Alex Garratt Podcast Network.