Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / THE DISCLAIMER: Stranded With The Fellas
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show Podcast.
- 0:05Speaker 2: Get up even closer. On Instagram, YouTube and TikTok.
- 0:10Speaker 1: Or Raw Doggy.
- 0:11Speaker 2: Four to seven every weekday.
- 0:14Speaker 1: On Radio Hodak.
- 0:16Speaker 3: G'day, fellas.
- 0:18Speaker 1: Backbone.
- 0:19Speaker 2: Hello.
- 0:20Speaker 3: Here we are again, eh?
- 0:22Speaker 1: Eh? Another day. Deja voodoo.
- 0:24Speaker 3: Another $ 10, 000.
- 0:26Speaker 1: Are you recycling your joke from out there, Jase?
- 0:28Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 0:28Speaker 1: That's no good, man.
- 0:29Speaker 2: Oh, didn't you say that earlier before I got there?
- 0:31Speaker 1: Yeah, you said it.
- 0:32Speaker 2: Yeah, nice.
- 0:33Speaker 5: Sort of, you know, creating this facade that I get
- 0:35Speaker 5: $ 10, 000 a day.
- 0:36Speaker 1: Per show? Yeah.
- 0:37Speaker 2: Fucking hell. And on the weekend?
- 0:39Speaker 1: Because what he actually said was, another day, another dollar.
- 0:43Speaker 1: Nobody said anything, you know.
- 0:45Speaker 2: Just.
- 0:45Speaker 1: Do you know what it's like out there? Indifferent. Especially
- 0:47Speaker 1: when he starts talking. Indifferent. And then he was like,
- 0:50Speaker 1: I mean, $ 10, 000.
- 0:52Speaker 2: And then one person looked up.
- 0:54Speaker 1: Oh, that was me. I was like, yeah, this guy
- 0:56Speaker 1: gets it.
- 0:57Speaker 2: And then he was like, fuck, here we go.
- 0:58Speaker 1: This is gold, man. He's like, this is gold.
- 1:00Speaker 2: He got a little notepad out and wrote it down.
- 1:02Speaker 1: Get on the potty. And here we are, man.
- 1:05Speaker 2: Look at us, man.
- 1:06Speaker 5: Boom.
- 1:07Speaker 3: I fire it off at the start there and we're
- 1:09Speaker 3: on to a winner.
- 1:10Speaker 2: We're off to a flyer.
- 1:11Speaker 1: We're absolutely killing it, man.
- 1:12Speaker 2: I got... Quite a funny situation earlier today.
- 1:15Speaker 1: Forget the situation. They got me face in.
- 1:18Speaker 2: It was 10.30.
- 1:20Speaker 1: In the morning.
- 1:21Speaker 2: Early, right?
- 1:22Speaker 3: Yes.
- 1:24Speaker 2: And I decided I was having lunch at 10.30.
- 1:27Speaker 1: Because we should point out that Chris Key is a
- 1:32Speaker 1: hungover piece of shit. Yeah. We need to point that out.
- 1:37Speaker 3: I take that for granted most days.
- 1:39Speaker 1: But this is for the audience. We know. Yeah, totally.
- 1:43Speaker 1: But you have to explain to the audience. You've got
- 1:45Speaker 1: to set it up. Yeah. It's part of radio, James.
- 1:47Speaker 1: Keezy is a hungover, what was it?
- 1:49Speaker 3: Piece of shit.
- 1:50Speaker 1: That was it.
- 1:51Speaker 2: Fellas, come on, man.
- 1:52Speaker 3: You just have to look at him when he walks
- 1:54Speaker 3: in the door and you know.
- 1:55Speaker 1: Oh.
- 1:56Speaker 3: It's the hooded eyes.
- 1:57Speaker 1: Oh, the text machine today was a disgrace. Today? A
- 2:00Speaker 1: little chat room, yeah.
- 2:02Speaker 2: Oh, our group chat.
- 2:03Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really bad, man.
- 2:06Speaker 2: Yeah, was it?
- 2:07Speaker 1: Yeah. So what did you have at 10.30 a.m. for lunch?
- 2:09Speaker 1: It's at 10.30 a.m. Yeah.
- 2:13Speaker 2: I wanted a burger. Remember how I messaged the group
- 2:15Speaker 2: and was like.
- 2:16Speaker 1: Trying to get us to get you burgers.
- 2:18Speaker 2: Re-burgers. I messaged the group and I was like, Pugs
- 2:21Speaker 2: shouts the fellas re-burger for lunch with his company credit card.
- 2:24Speaker 2: And he says, sure, but you have to make some
- 2:26Speaker 2: content around it.
- 2:27Speaker 3: Well, we're doing that right now.
- 2:29Speaker 2: But like visual, you know, social was his thing. And
- 2:33Speaker 2: then I was like, oh, fuck, I really want a
- 2:34Speaker 2: burger just to cure it, you know, just to boom,
- 2:37Speaker 2: drop a burger on top of your hangover. Re-burger not open.
- 2:40Speaker 1: Oh, no.
- 2:41Speaker 3: Well, 10.30, to be fair.
- 2:43Speaker 2: I had to go to a competitor.
- 2:45Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
- 2:46Speaker 2: A direct competitor.
- 2:47Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 2:47Speaker 2: So I'm pulling into the car park of this direct competitor.
- 2:52Speaker 1: Car park?
- 2:53Speaker 2: It's a car park. Not a drive-thru? No, a car park.
- 2:59Speaker 1: I believe you.
- 3:01Speaker 2: The only other thing in this car park is takeaway joints, right?
- 3:05Speaker 2: So it's literally this one car park in West Auckland
- 3:07Speaker 2: where there is like 10... takeaway joints.
- 3:10Speaker 3: I know the place.
- 3:11Speaker 2: Do you?
- 3:12Speaker 1: Yes, I do.
- 3:12Speaker 2: Yeah, you probably do actually. I pull in there and
- 3:15Speaker 2: there's this dude, this young backbone and a gold Ford
- 3:19Speaker 2: Laser from the 90s with no hubcaps on it. And
- 3:23Speaker 2: I'm driving past and he pulls, I'm like, what's this
- 3:25Speaker 2: dude doing? As I'm going past him, he looks at
- 3:27Speaker 2: the window at me and shakes his finger at me like,
- 3:30Speaker 2: What are you.
- 3:33Speaker 1: Doing, Casey? You can't go to Reburger, mate.
- 3:34Speaker 2: And I was like, straight away, I was like, oh, fuck,
- 3:37Speaker 2: here we go. Like, this is literally, like, unhealthy food
- 3:40Speaker 2: alley where I am right now. Everyone that pulls in
- 3:43Speaker 2: there knows what they're doing.
- 3:44Speaker 3: Yeah, totally. Everyone's hungover.
- 3:46Speaker 2: Everyone's hungover. Everyone's getting a big feed of shit food.
- 3:48Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 3:49Speaker 2: And so I drive around the block there and park
- 3:51Speaker 2: up and go inside. I'm like, okay, this backbone hasn't
- 3:55Speaker 2: seen me, which is good. And I'm sitting... I get
- 4:00Speaker 2: there to pick up my order. It's not ready yet.
- 4:01Speaker 2: I haven't even started cooking it yet. So I have
- 4:03Speaker 2: to sit there for 10 minutes. And I'm just sitting
- 4:06Speaker 2: there and then I just hear this like, do-doosh, do-doosh.
- 4:09Speaker 2: And this prick is driving past in his car yelling
- 4:12Speaker 2: do-doosh at me. And I'm just like, fucking hell. I
- 4:16Speaker 2: just want to have my shameful hungover food.
- 4:20Speaker 1: In peace.
- 4:20Speaker 2: In peace, yes.
- 4:21Speaker 1: Where are you sitting at this moment?
- 4:23Speaker 2: Like I strategically sat like further in the restaurant waiting.
- 4:26Speaker 1: Right. And he drove past.
- 4:28Speaker 2: He crept past slowly.
- 4:30Speaker 1: Outside.
- 4:30Speaker 2: Outside going.
- 4:31Speaker 1: Shouting it out the window.
- 4:32Speaker 2: But I couldn't hear. I was like, fuck, that sounds
- 4:34Speaker 2: like someone saying to do. I look out there. It's
- 4:35Speaker 2: just the back of the Ford Laser. I'm just like,
- 4:40Speaker 2: fucking let me eat my burger first, all right?
- 4:44Speaker 1: And then give me shit. That's two days in a
- 4:45Speaker 1: row that somebody has just done you. Yeah, man.
- 4:48Speaker 2: It's like I've got to walk around with a big
- 4:50Speaker 2: sign saying do me.
- 4:52Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 4:53Speaker 2: But, like, when you're feeling vonies and pretty ashamed.
- 4:56Speaker 1: Having your finger waved.
- 4:57Speaker 2: And, yeah, someone's like, hey, Keezy. And then I was
- 5:01Speaker 2: picturing them like, oh, get a photo of Keezy at
- 5:04Speaker 2: the competition.
- 5:05Speaker 1: Oh, Keezy should be at Reburger. Yeah, yeah. Oh, Barry. Oh,
- 5:10Speaker 1: God almighty. What a shitter.
- 5:14Speaker 2: What are they doing over there?
- 5:16Speaker 5: People urinating on his property and deducing him.
- 5:20Speaker 2: What have you guys been up to, man?
- 5:28Speaker 4: Oh, g'day, Matt.
- 5:30Speaker 1: Oh, hi, mate, yeah.
- 5:31Speaker 4: Look, if you want the chance to win all our
- 5:33Speaker 4: on-air competitions and stuff and get amongst the live conversation,
- 5:39Speaker 4: tune in to the Hauraki Big Show, four to seven
- 5:42Speaker 4: weekdays on Radio Hauraki and iHeartRadio.
- 5:47Speaker 2: The Hauraki Big Show podcast.
- 5:49Speaker 1: Had a bath last night there, Fields.
- 5:51Speaker 3: Yeah, good stuff.
- 5:52Speaker 1: Good stuff. Yeah. Pretty good stuff, a bath, isn't it there, Fields?
- 5:55Speaker 2: Yeah. I reckon you would have bathed for 15 minutes.
- 5:59Speaker 1: No, I made about half an hour. I was reading
- 6:01Speaker 1: a book.
- 6:02Speaker 4: Wow.
- 6:02Speaker 1: I was reading a book, John Tugard's book.
- 6:06Speaker 2: You're really tired, man.
- 6:09Speaker 1: I didn't think I was. That was a pretty good yawn.
- 6:13Speaker 1: Until Casey's yarn started. Until your yarn made me hungover.
- 6:16Speaker 1: I think I've caught your hangover. And since then, I've
- 6:22Speaker 1: just been working pretty much. Oh, I watch you more alone. Yeah.
- 6:25Speaker 1: Watch you more alone. I won't talk about it on
- 6:27Speaker 1: the show because I think people get sick of you
- 6:29Speaker 1: talking about the same old shit. But old mate, we've
- 6:35Speaker 1: just had the Christian fella.
- 6:38Speaker 5: Yes.
- 6:39Speaker 1: He's lost a fair amount of weight, I've got to say.
- 6:41Speaker 3: Yeah, he's a pretty skinny bastard.
- 6:42Speaker 1: But he's got to 40 days and 40 nights, which
- 6:44Speaker 1: means he's exactly like Jesus Christ. Yeah. And he's been evacuated. Yes.
- 6:49Speaker 1: A medical evacuation where, of course, Jesus went to. on
- 6:54Speaker 1: to die for all of our sins and save us
- 6:56Speaker 1: yes yeah right that's kind of where the similarities between
- 7:01Speaker 1: jesus and this guy ends.
- 7:02Speaker 2: Yes 40 days and 40 nights that's how long the
- 7:04Speaker 2: great flood.
- 7:05Speaker 1: Lasted they went into the desert for 40 days and.
- 7:09Speaker 5: 40 hours from recollection that guy basically didn't get any food.
- 7:14Speaker 1: He had one fish yeah and just starved himself for
- 7:17Speaker 1: 40 days he To be fair to him, he was
- 7:19Speaker 1: pretty upbeat.
- 7:20Speaker 3: He was.
- 7:21Speaker 1: He was.
- 7:21Speaker 2: He had the good Lord with him, man.
- 7:22Speaker 3: Yes, that's right.
- 7:23Speaker 1: 100% because he had the good Lord with him. It's
- 7:25Speaker 1: an amazing thing to have if you can have the
- 7:27Speaker 1: good Lord.
- 7:27Speaker 5: Yes.
- 7:28Speaker 1: But they have that smile, generally speaking, the people that
- 7:31Speaker 1: have the good Lord, don't they? They've got that look
- 7:33Speaker 1: about them. A certain type of religion has it, not all.
- 7:38Speaker 1: But he certainly had it. He was thrilled. So he
- 7:40Speaker 1: just starved himself for 40 days and went home.
- 7:43Speaker 2: Isn't that interesting? There's a guy starving himself for 40
- 7:45Speaker 2: days in the wilderness.
- 7:46Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
- 7:47Speaker 3: And there's another dude.
- 7:48Speaker 2: And there's another guy in West Auckland.
- 7:50Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, hammering a burger massively hungover.
- 7:52Speaker 1: At 10 a.m.
- 7:53Speaker 2: And a deep pit of shame.
- 7:55Speaker 1: That's right. And I know which one I'd rather be. Yes.
- 7:58Speaker 1: And then there's the guy who's catching fish and eels left,
- 8:03Speaker 1: right and centre.
- 8:03Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, the old fella.
- 8:04Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's great. I really like him. But I'm
- 8:07Speaker 1: on a cliffhanger with him. Yes. In that he's got
- 8:11Speaker 1: horrendous gout. Yeah. Oh, seafood. Yes. Because he gets it
- 8:18Speaker 1: really bad anyway. Yeah. But I don't think he'd made
- 8:20Speaker 1: the connection. But he's been eating eel every single day.
- 8:22Speaker 1: He gets gout.
- 8:23Speaker 2: Which is pretty rich, isn't it?
- 8:25Speaker 1: It's one of the richest seafood you can have. And
- 8:30Speaker 1: his ankle is just massive. Absolutely massive. But now the medic,
- 8:37Speaker 1: because I get checked up regularly, so now the medic
- 8:40Speaker 1: boat's on the way to see him and he's hoping
- 8:41Speaker 1: that they're not going to find out. Right, yeah. Because
- 8:43Speaker 1: he doesn't want to get evacuated. He wants to tough
- 8:45Speaker 1: it out. But it's very, very funny.
- 8:47Speaker 5: It's really good, that show, because that's another element of
- 8:50Speaker 5: drama in it is when the medics come out and
- 8:53Speaker 5: a lot of them are like, I know I'm fucked. physically,
- 8:57Speaker 5: so I just hope I can bluff my way through
- 9:01Speaker 5: this bullshit.
- 9:02Speaker 1: Yeah, mentally I'm all good, but yeah. The religious guy
- 9:04Speaker 1: was quite happy to go home, but the numbers are
- 9:06Speaker 1: thin and pretty quick now. It takes a while, but
- 9:09Speaker 1: then they start dropping like flies. It's quite interesting because
- 9:11Speaker 1: it's all around the same amount of time. Yes. But
- 9:14Speaker 1: I'm enjoying it.
- 9:15Speaker 2: Who would last the longest out of us?
- 9:19Speaker 1: I've got no practical skills at all. Really, I've got none. Jase,
- 9:25Speaker 1: you've held a fishing rod for longer than any of us,
- 9:27Speaker 1: but I've probably caught more fish than you, even though
- 9:29Speaker 1: I've never been fishing.
- 9:31Speaker 5: I would... Genuinely, I reckon I'd last maybe two or
- 9:35Speaker 5: three nights.
- 9:36Speaker 1: I think you'd last the longest because you've got the
- 9:38Speaker 1: most beef on your bones.
- 9:39Speaker 3: Yeah, you've got a massive ass.
- 9:43Speaker 1: You've probably got five, six years in you.
- 9:45Speaker 5: You've got layers of hungover burger fat on you.
- 9:49Speaker 2: I'm like a camel. I store it all the way
- 9:51Speaker 2: in my ass.
- 9:52Speaker 1: You've got all the burgers around in your ass.
- 9:54Speaker 5: Well, actually, just on that front, a lot of contestants
- 9:56Speaker 5: do that in the show where they beef up massively.
- 9:59Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 10:00Speaker 5: They do the show so they can burn X amount
- 10:03Speaker 5: of fat before they get down to the nitty gritty.
- 10:06Speaker 2: Are the contestants allowed to, like, link up?
- 10:08Speaker 1: No.
- 10:08Speaker 2: Because if we did it, you guys could all come
- 10:11Speaker 2: and eat my ass.
- 10:14Speaker 1: I'd go home.
- 10:15Speaker 3: I think I'd go home.
- 10:17Speaker 1: Yep. It depends where you went. I think if I
- 10:20Speaker 1: went to that place, I'd be in a world of trouble.
- 10:24Speaker 3: Same.
- 10:25Speaker 5: I think the only thing keeping– like, I do watch
- 10:28Speaker 5: a lot of, you know, camping stuff.
- 10:31Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 10:32Speaker 5: And I reckon I could probably go two or three,
- 10:34Speaker 5: and then I'd be fucked.
- 10:36Speaker 1: Two or three days? Yeah. Well, you could do that
- 10:38Speaker 1: just if you were lost. Yeah.
- 10:41Speaker 2: True, true.
- 10:43Speaker 3: But, you know, a lot of people get there.
- 10:44Speaker 2: Do you get a tent?
- 10:45Speaker 3: A lot of people, no.
- 10:46Speaker 1: Yes, you do.
- 10:47Speaker 2: Oh, yes.
- 10:48Speaker 1: You get like a wet weather cover, mats and all
- 10:51Speaker 1: that sort of shit. You get a basic setup. But the,
- 10:54Speaker 1: what do you call it there, the shelters they build
- 10:57Speaker 1: are fucking amazing.
- 10:59Speaker 3: Oh, some of them are not in that particular series.
- 11:02Speaker 1: The fireplaces, they're building these fireplaces out of rock and
- 11:06Speaker 1: it's like they're fucking... Proper, proper fireplaces.
- 11:09Speaker 3: Yeah, right.
- 11:10Speaker 1: Inside there. Yeah, they're amazing.
- 11:12Speaker 3: That one.
- 11:13Speaker 1: I could do that. I'd be fucked.
- 11:14Speaker 3: Alone International.
- 11:16Speaker 5: Some of the dwellings they built were fucking phenomenal.
- 11:19Speaker 1: Is that before this one or after it? After. I
- 11:22Speaker 1: really like it.
- 11:23Speaker 2: Yeah, it's good.
- 11:24Speaker 5: It is.
- 11:25Speaker 1: And my daughter likes it.
- 11:26Speaker 3: Shay's still there?
- 11:27Speaker 1: Shay's still there, mate. Yes, good. He's doing it.
- 11:29Speaker 2: Good stuff.
- 11:30Speaker 1: Which is annoying now because you're telling me that he
- 11:32Speaker 1: hasn't won it, which is annoying for me. No, no.
- 11:35Speaker 4: No, no.
- 11:36Speaker 3: No, I'm not telling you that at all.
- 11:38Speaker 2: Well, you kind of have, you're right.
- 11:40Speaker 1: No. You know what I mean? Fuck, that's ruined the
- 11:42Speaker 1: whole thing. But the only ones left other than that is,
- 11:45Speaker 1: you know, a woman.
- 11:49Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 11:50Speaker 1: Who's really good.
- 11:52Speaker 2: She is really good.
- 11:53Speaker 1: She's the one that got the wallaby.
- 11:54Speaker 5: Yes.
- 11:55Speaker 1: Battered it over the head with a rock, Keezy. Would
- 11:57Speaker 1: you be able to do that?
- 11:58Speaker 2: A wallaby?
- 11:59Speaker 1: Yeah, if you were looking to make 250k, could you
- 12:01Speaker 1: smash Horty J over the head with a rock?
- 12:04Speaker 2: Skin them and then eat them up. Fuck yeah.
- 12:07Speaker 3: What part would you start with?
- 12:10Speaker 5: Oh, don't give me that look, you filthy bastard.
- 12:15Speaker 3: That's creeped me out.
- 12:17Speaker 2: I'd eat that and then get gout. Because it's so ripped.
- 12:22Speaker 1: You'd get a smoker's cough.
- 12:24Speaker 2: This is the big show, full seven weekdays. You know
- 12:27Speaker 2: the drill.