Latest / She Said It Out Loud with Emma Young / Wendy talks Menopause! Author, Hairdresser of 30 years and delightful human, Wendy Naumovski

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Wendy talks Menopause! Author, Hairdresser of 30 years and delightful human, Wendy Naumovski · She Said It Out Loud with Emma Young

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: You're listening to She Said It Out Loud, where real women share real stories without sugarcoating a thing.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Emma Young, and I'll bring you on filtered conversations with ambitious women who faced challenges, made bold moves, and learned a lot along the way.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: You'll get real takeaways, honest lessons, and stories that you're gonna relate to.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: Righto, let's get started.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: Hey there and welcome to the podcast.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: This is She Said It Out Loud, and I'm your host, Emma Young.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is, of course, kindly sponsored by the Broom Closet.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: If you've never been to the Broom Closet before, trust me, you need to get down there this weekend.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: You might even see me down there.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Shane and the team are conveniently located on Dampier Terrace, and you've got to go upstairs to see their hidden little oasis.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Alrighty, on to today's episode.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: I am very, very happy to say that I managed when I was recently in Perth to get Wendy Namovsky.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's her full name.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: She's also known as Wendy the Brand.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: She is a menopause hair and confidence specialist, and she has been a hairdresser for over 30 years.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: So you can imagine the stories that Wendy has.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to catch up with her because I hadn't even known anything about Wendy.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I went to the Annalise McCarthy event.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: I've spoken about this before on the podcast, her You're on Mute tour.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't know it at the time, but Wendy had attended it.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then I just happened to just keep seeing her pop up on my feed.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, because perimenopause has been my number one go-to word of 2026.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: I figured, you know what?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: It makes sense for me to try and get somebody that knows all about menopause, that's actually gone through it themselves and can relate to my wafflings on.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: I just wanted to get her on and have a really good conversation about what it means to be a menopause hair and confidence specialist, what she's been up to, the fact that she's also an author and has written a book called Wendy Talks Menopause.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's what our conversation is about today.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: Alrighty, as usual, I'm gonna quit waffling.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Here is our conversation.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the podcast, Wendy.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm very happy to have you on today's episode.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: Anyone that's discovered this podcast, even from my very first few episodes, I've been banging on about the P word.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, the P word as in perimetopause.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: I know a lot of people are gonna be shaking head going, here we go, Emma's off on a tangent again.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: I received a message from Wendy about two months ago asking to come onto the podcast.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: I did a bit of digging because at first I'm like, who even is Wendy?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: And she'd attended the Euro-Mute tour that was held by Annalise McCarthy back in March.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: It is incredible how many people I have met through that event alone.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: And Wendy was there.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is just a great example of the power of connection and obviously in-person events.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: I want to welcome you, Wendy, to the podcast.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: Oh thanks, Sam.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for having me.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: Can you explain to my listeners out there that have tuned in to today today's episode a little bit about yourself and where you grew up and how you came to be Wendy?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I've got two siblings.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the eldest of three.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of pressure was put on me being the eldest child.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: I now have four beautiful children.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm married 25 years this year.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: Oh wow.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I like to keep busy.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you like to keep busy.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: Even just from that laundry list, that's a massive amount of things that you have on your plate.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: Just starting off, let's talk about this book.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: Wendy talks menopause.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Why menopause?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: And how did you even decide to start to write a book in the first place about something that's uh incredibly personal experience?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: I think because I was heading down a rabbit hole.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: I just hated life, hated myself, like bedridden, just didn't want to get out of bed.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt, oh my gosh, I can't live like this.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Something's got to change.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, where the hell was Wendy gone?
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I lost my grandma a year and a half ago, and just a reflection of how strong she was growing up and who, you know, a widow for majority of her life, the strength that she had, you know, within her garden as a mother, a grandma, her advice.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I just had her in the back of my mind and just saying to me, get up, you need to do this, you're strong, don't be like this.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I just woke up and said, I think I need to write something, and what do I need to write about?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: So as a young child, I've always wanted to do journalism.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Didn't know what I was going to write a book about, and then I connected the two together and I thought, well, why not menopause?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Why not my experience, my journey?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like what the fuck is happening to me?
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: And having my grandma, my baba, in the background, putting her strength in my strength to actually do the book and be able to get other women out there to say, this is so me.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: I can relate.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And having a cultural background, I feel like a lot of women are suppressed in what they're allowed to say, to be seen, to be heard.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like I'm the voice of the whole Europeans at the moment because it's my story's out there.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's awesome.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's I mean, that's all of that makes complete sense.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I do think, I don't want to say it's a generational thing, but I honestly couldn't even tell you when my mum went through menopause.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, obviously she did, but she never said a word about it.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: She never sooked it.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's her personality though, because she's been a nurse for like four years.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: She only just retired maybe two years ago.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that was just her personality where you sucked it up and you got on with it.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: And none of us would have known.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: But I also think that it just never was spoken about.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: And now it's like so many people are like, oh my gosh, menopause and perimenopause.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: But this is a good thing.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: This is a good thing to talk about.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like I had this vision of going back and I had my first child and we're at mum and dad's house, and then she just went off the handle and just lost the plot.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, What the fuck, mum, what's wrong with you?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: And she was just agitated and angry, and we always used to blame my dad, but we never sort of stopped to say, Well, mum, what's wrong with you?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: So her escape was the garden.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: So she would get the hose out.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: If you saw mum in the garden, you just knew you just left her alone.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Did I know what she was going through then?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: No, had no idea.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: I just thought she was just a mum with so much pressure and angry and just lost her shit.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Where now, doing my book and looking back and I was like, wow, okay, here I was going through my hormone change, having my first newborn, and she was at the other end going through her shit.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: At the end of the day, I wish I'd known more about it then so I could approach her and say, Mum, are you okay?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, going on a book tour itself is no joke.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: And the fact that you obviously went from the idea of starting to write a book, writing it, then obviously having it published.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: You went on a book tour to Sydney and Melbourne.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: And what was that experience like for you?
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: Because to me, that's a big deal.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Someone actually said to me, So, who are you?
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: And you're coming to Sydney and Melbourne to do this book tour.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like no one knows who you are.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Doing the book tour has now made me connect with other like-minded women through menopause, through small businesses, networking, and I loved it.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the people that I met in Melbourne compared to meeting in Sydney were completely different.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like they they were like my friends.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: As soon as I saw them in the room, it was like I knew them.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: But I feel like I had to do it to connect with a lot more people because there aren't just menopause or women in Perth.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: They're everywhere.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I needed to get my story out there and for people to connect and relate and go, oh my God, that is so me.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so are you saying that they were saying it in a negative?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why go over Ace?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: No, but I mean, I suppose, like you said, you didn't know who I was, so you had to dig to find out who I was.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: So the more people I sort of DM'd and networked in Melbourne and Sydney and got myself out there, the connection was easier after doing the book tour.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: But before then it was like, sorry, who are you?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's a I think that's a great way to explain it.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, me living in Broome, then coming to Perth, you know, seems like a big deal because Perth is obviously a lot bigger.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: But in the grand scheme of things, going over East makes sense.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like every state is completely different.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: As in the people that are there.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: So Melbourne was completely different.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like I had about 15 guys in Melbourne that were just like, I had no idea that, you know, you go through this.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: My husband was there, so he got to share a bit of his story.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I got to Sydney, different women again, they're just like, we disconnected.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like now we just sort of DM.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then there was one guy, and he was like, I can't believe there's not more men in the room.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, What your husband has said to me compared to what you said, we can both relate to your story and go, Oh, that's what what my wife does or says.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then I can understand what my husband, what your husband's saying, is because oh, that's how I feel.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: As well.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: So it's a bit of a amen's opinion compared to the whole menopause.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it they do make it about themselves and what about me?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And all I kept saying to my husband was like, mate, it's not about you, mate.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Take a step back.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: Look, you've been a hairdresser for 30 years, and so you would have seen and certainly heard it all.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: On your page, when I'm looking at your socials, I really like your video where you discuss the difference between what your hair is like when you're going through perimenopause versus when you're in your 20s and 30s and how you have to treat it differently.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: I like that for the fact of it's original.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: I've I haven't seen anybody do anything like that.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm constantly looking for people that are doing different things.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: Just that video alone, I really resonated with it.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's obviously educational.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: How did you even come up with that idea?
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: Is this just something because you're just in the thick of anything that rhymes with menopause?
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: No, uh, personal experience.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like I lost a lot of hair myself.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, curly, thick hair, really European hair, and now it's really fine and limp.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so the change, the oils that were just like I could leave my hair for over a week and not worry about it.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Where now it was after a couple of days, I was like, what is going on?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like the change, falling out, breakage.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then obviously in the salon, having clients at, you know, returning clients, being able to see their hair changes and feeling what their hair feels like.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: And like you said, it does feel like fairy floss.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't feel the same.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: I call my hair cancer hair.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and I shouldn't say that because it's not right, but it doesn't feel the same.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: So having clients come in and saying my hair doesn't feel right, it doesn't look the same, I can definitely relate.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: The way you sort of have to treat your hair, it's not like how it was in your 20s and 30s, full of life, bouncy, volume, you know, shiny.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no frizz, and it's like now it's almost like what's happened.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, definitely.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well, good on you for putting that video out there because I just really resonated with it.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: Now, besides being a hairdresser and an author, I just love how you've got all these titles.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: You're a mum, you've got four kids, which is like next level.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: I bet they're incredibly proud of you and what you've achieved, even in the last five years alone.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: Can I also say that you've got, I like how you've mentioned before with your husband Pip, he's in your videos.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: He obviously seems to be incredibly supportive.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: But I want to know though, what's he been like through this journey?
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: As in you, you know, having all these ambitions, becoming an author, going through menopause, what has he been like?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, let's go family.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: So within the household, six people, uh-huh, teens, adult teens, and a husband that has no idea what his wife's going through.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: So with the kids, they're all like, Well, what's happening to my mum?
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: And at the same time, they had their shit going on, hormonally, getting bullied and stuff.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: So trying to show up as a mother, trying to sort of actually feel you feel your needs, but you don't know what the hell's going on.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Then you've got a husband that's going, what's gotten into you?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because he doesn't know what the hell's going on with you.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: So he's trying to do his research, you're trying to look after you, he's needing you, you're not needing him, you're trying to work out who the hell fuck you are.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: And all he's wanting is a bit of love and attention, and you're not needing that, and you're not wanting that.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: So over time, yes, it was probably the hardest time as a couple, you know, because we, you know, you you marry your soulmate.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: So trying to overcome that obstacle and go, how are we gonna get through this?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: So it came to a point where I was like, okay, are you gonna ride this journey with me?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because I have no idea what the fuck is going on with me.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Or if not, I'm happy for you to, you know, walk out and, you know, find yourself again and find that that loving connection that you are wanting and needing right now, but I can't give that to you because it's not about you.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I need you, but I don't need you too close.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Don't hug me, but I do need you to hug me.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: Don't yell at me, but I need you to yell at me when I'm acting like this.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: It was very challenging and obviously coming from a European background, he had no idea what the fuck goes on with women.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yes.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Nor periods, nor hormones, nor babies.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: So it was like so oblivious to him.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: So he took it into his own stride to, you know, look up podcasts, and it got to a point where it's like, I don't want to hear another word on menopause.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to hear another podcast about menopause.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to know, just be there.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: It was super challenging, and now we've come to the other side, was like, what do I need from him as a husband, as a as a partner?
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I look at it as do you go back to dating again?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Do you go out to, you know, your date nights and working out who you are as a couple?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because you go as a couple, then you become mum and dad.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: At husband and wife, then you're going through your shit.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: So you get lost amongst that.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, what do I actually need from you?
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Uh communication, big must.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yes.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Do I need you to be all over me and hug me?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: No, not right now.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: What is it, something that we can share together that we love, and it's food.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: So going out to a really cool restaurant and just frothing over a meal and something that we can communicate and share and talk, that that is just for me, next level.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's sad, but that's where I'm at.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I suppose that's almost like dating again and igniting the fire between the two of you because there's there was so much up and down through it.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think it's sad at all.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: I think that it's important and the fact that you have recognized it, but you're also taking the time to address it.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like you could have easily just put your head in the sand and just go, oh well, tough tits, this is who I am now.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: Freaking, you know, like it or leave it, bye.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I did say that.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, god damn.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: But I mean, you know what I mean.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like the fact that you both obviously like going to really nice restaurants and and like you say, frothing over food, that's still something that you both connect on.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's cool that you're, you know, making it a priority.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: I think these days it's just so much easier to walk out of a relationship and give up.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I suppose by doing stuff like this, it's like, are we in it for the long run?
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: And how are we going to change this and how do we help ourselves?
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: So along the way, it's also, you know, men do have their trauma from their past that no one speaks about, and then you're going through your stuff.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, there is a lot of generational trauma there.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Having the two that you work on yourself, I think, and then coming together and finding what you guys can niche together.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: And even though it's small over a dinner or having a communication, you know, a glass of wine on the balcony or talking shit or you know, whatever.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: But to me, that value factors a lot for me now because there was so much of it where I wasn't seen in the family.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Or I wasn't heard.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: I got told, Mum, it's not that deep, shut up.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like you get over it.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm trying to voice my opinion and it wasn't heard.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: So it was like five against one.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: So the more that they would hound on me, the more I shut down.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: So it was almost like, what do I need to do to be seen, to be heard, and to help myself?
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's great.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for sharing that.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I recently read your post last month about your article that was in Mama Mia.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: So congratulations on that to start with.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: But saying that you owed your mum a big apology.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I mean, just that tile alone, I was like, oh my god, I've got to read this.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it was about, you know, when she was going through menopause, as in how tricky it would have been for her.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then back then that no one really ever would have spoken about menopause, like in her generation.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: This was a great uh article.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to know how did this even eventuate, and you know, what's been the feedback from that article?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so it took me back to writing the book and thinking, what's coming up for me?
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: So as a child, you know, you're going to a family, friend's house, and you get the look to get up and do the dishes, or you get the look to sit and be quiet.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: So again, you weren't seen, you weren't heard.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: So then I went back one more and thought, okay, so where's mum gone with all this?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I look at her where she wasn't seen, she wasn't heard, and that sort of passed on to me, but then I look at the reflection of how she was through it.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then obviously, like I spoke about having my newborn and seeing what she was going through.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I wish someone had told me or given me that pamphlet in hospital having the newborn to say this is what you're going through next.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: I had no idea.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I sat with myself and think, oh my god, when did mum actually change or how did I sort of resonate when she was going through something?
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it was the time when I was going through, you know, having a newborn, and my dad kept on saying, Oh, she just won't leave the house, she doesn't want to go do anything, I can't even take her for a coffee.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: But I was experiencing that when people would say, Let's just go for a walk down the coast.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I don't want to, let me be.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then that took me when my dad was saying the same about mum seeing her in the garden, hosing, you just didn't go there with that.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like I wish I knew more to actually go back and say, Mum, I'm sorry, are you okay?
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I wish I could have been there to support you, but I had no idea.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you get all these pamphlets on periods and sex and you know stuff going through, having a baby and post you know, depression and stuff like that.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: But no one gives you that pamphlet when you're in hospital to say, This is what's gonna happen next.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: Just assume that your children are gonna be adult children and you're like, wicked, I'm getting my life back.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna start doing this shit with my husband, and then boom, this shit comes up, and you're like, What the fuck?
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Where's this come from?
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like it's bad timing, but there's nothing you can do about it.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I reached out to Heidi Anderson and she helped me put this article together.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And shout out to Heidi.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and yeah, it's been great and it's amazing.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: I have had a lot of DMs saying, Yeah, I wish I knew more about my mum and what she went through, and you know, to be there to have helped her as well.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that not only for the fact of what you're talking about, the content that's in that article, but the fact that you took the time to then get it out there.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, it's you've pitched this article to Mumma Mia, and now it's like Australia-wide, and it's like you're just letting this story know.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: I am certain that there's gonna be a lot of people, as in a lot of women, that would relate to that story.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Mostly a lot of cultural women with background, I feel this is because obviously growing up in a European background, mum was always the one that, you know, did everything for the family, you know, the one in charge looking after her siblings.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, not seen, not heard, didn't have a voice.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then I take that back one with my grandma and same, and then you know, you have a husband who, you know, you're not allowed to be seen, not allowed to be heard.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel having the cultural side of going through menopause and then r people say, Oh, but my mum never went through anything.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: I d you know, she was fine.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: But bring that into society today, having four children.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's not like how it used to be.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we were having dinner by six o'clock and watching home and away by seven and in bed by seven thirty.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: And as a family, today, one's in, one's out, one's having dinner at seven o'clock, one's eating at nine thirty, you're waiting for the other one to come home, you get an email, meetings, who needs oranges for the next soccer game, and you know, costumes for dancing.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: So it's the extra pressure that we put on ourselves as mothers, I think, that sort of compounds menopause even more compared to our mums and our grandm and our grandmothers as well.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: I can definitely agree on that one.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's not often though that we actually sit and just think about the things that we've achieved, you know, in our life and things that we've been, you know, really good at or accomplished.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: What can you say so far that you know you that you're just really incredibly proud of?
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: I can't believe I've written a book.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: I always said it from the age of 12 that I was gonna write a book, didn't know about what, felt like I had to give more.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Being a hairdresser for over 30 years, I was like, surely there's more to me than just being a hairdresser.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I started up makeup around, I don't know, eight, ten years ago, added that to my portfolio, and then I was just like, there's something, there's gotta be something.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: And the book was like, it's ticked off the boxes, and someone said to me, Not everyone can write a book, and you have.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I still pinch myself that I have written one and there could be another.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: Let's see.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, good on you for writing this book because it's called Wendy Talks Menopause.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: Now, where is it available?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's in bookshops, isn't it?
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I've got it in DMX in Caranap, I've got it in Boundless Books in Leadable, it's on Amazon.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's done by audio as well, as well as a Kindle.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: So there are I've thought of everyone and everything.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm stoked.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you should be really proud of yourself.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone that I've spoken to that's written a book, they're like, dear God, it nearly broke me.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: But to get it out there and have it, like I I'm old school, I love hard copy books.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: But and I just love everything about it.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: You can tell that you've thought of the design, the colours, it's just stands out.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: So little sneak peek.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I know, but we're not going to tell everybody on today, but we're just gonna do a little snippet.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: What's next for you?
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: Let's just say there's more coming.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's something that has not evolved yet.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's focus on menopausal women, but to know I am actually d hosting a luxe dinner.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: And if you would like to know more, it's called the unveiling.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to be in the room to know more.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: I love this.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: The unveiling.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's a great, that's a great teaser right there.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: So, yes, watch this space.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: And if you haven't already yet, after today's episode, go and suss out Wendy's page, follow her.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna put all her details at the end of the show notes.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: Now we're coming to the rapid fire questions, and so the first one that I've got for you, so don't think too hard, and I ask pretty much everybody this just because I love everyone's different answers.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: But if I was to get a bunch of Wendy's friends together and said, Right, only pick three words to describe Wendy, what do you think they would be?
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Honesty.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: She says it like it is.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: And she doesn't give a shit.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: Nailed it.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's you.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: I have been told that I'm a giver.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: I always care for everyone else, which I do, and I love that.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel if I can give a give you a part of me and share that, uh, I'm happy.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um now, what's something that you tell your 20-year-old Wendy?
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like knowing what you know now.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't shut yourself down, be you, keep being you, and don't be quiet for anybody or silence yourself because you were meant to be you and you got lost through the thick of it becoming a mum, a wife.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I think menopause gives you that second chance to go back to the 20-year-old and go, hey, this is me.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, embrace her.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if you weren't doing your main job now, I think I know the answer to this one, but what else would you be doing?
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: Or do you just absolutely love what you're doing?
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: I just get a buzz out of doing more and more.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: There's my mind's always ticking, like people always say to me, You should be thinking about retiring.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: You should be thinking about, you know, slowing down.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, what for?
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: You're way too young to be here.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: Some of the biggest names started their their talent and their businesses at 50.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: So let's go, bitch.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do it.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: Bring it on.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's more coming.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: I love that attitude.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: Great.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: Before we go, I always get my guests to do a shout out to a woman that's inspired them or somebody that's made them who they are today.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: Is there anybody that you can think of?
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, look, I think I have to relate that to my Baba, my grandma.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think she was my tower of strength.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: And she's the one that sort of pushed me to keep going through strength.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: Be somebody to help others.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like her inspiration for what she was like towards me is I can do with the same with women going through menopause.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: Listen, thank you so much for coming onto the podcast today.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: It has been wonderful to interview you and to get to know you further.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I just appreciate you so much for coming and being on She Said It Out Loud.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for listening to She Said It Out Loud.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: If you took something away from today's episode, I would love to hear from you.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: Don't find me on Instagram at officially Emma Young.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: And hit follow so new episodes land straight in your feed.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: See you next time for more real and honest stories from legendary women.