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Transcript

Hunger Isn't Your Problem. The Report You Keep Writing Is. · Connor with Honor: AI, Real Estate and Real Life

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: There's a man scrolling through his phone right now, reading the same three sentences everybody reads before they try this.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody can stay in a deficit they hate.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Body fights back after three weeks.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Hunger becomes unbearable.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then you quit.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Then you blame yourself for lacking willpower.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, good morning, good afternoon, good evening.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Whenever you happen to be tuning in, this is The Last Addiction.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: And everything I'm about to tell you lives at theLastAddiction.com, including the parts that didn't work.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a doctor, not a coach, and I'm not going to tell you something today that almost nobody is selling you.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Anything will sell out loud.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Now, here's what I want to take apart, and I want to be fair to the other side before I do.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because the other side isn't stupid and they're not lying.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: I pulled this discourse yesterday afternoon and it splits three ways.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: One post says hunger kills most diets, most, not willpower.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: One, the second, the second says nobody can stay in a deficit they hate.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: The body fights back, and then you blame yourself.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: And the third gets the actual science correctly.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Eating less means more hunger, and that's normal.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Not a lack of willpower.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Lower food intake raises the hunger hormone ghrelin.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now hold on to those three at once because we look at what they add up to.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody agrees on the mechanism.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody says you eat less, ghrelin goes up, you get hungry.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's not a debate.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: That happens to be the plumbing.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the entire, then the entire industry takes that agreed fact and draws exactly one conclusion from it.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Hunger is the enemy, so let us engineer it away for you.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: By the shake, by the drug, by the protocol where you never have to feel hungry.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Painless, no willpower required.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: I understand why that sells.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: It sells because it's the thing every single one of us wants to be true.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Now there's a fourth post in that same suite, and it's not about the food at all.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: It was about workouts.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it made a point that applies here, whether the person writing it knew it or not.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: The fitness industry sells the workout for one reason.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: A workout can be sold.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Memberships, trackers, programs, coaches, supplements, nobody sells you sleep because sleep has no margin.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Painless has the same problem in reverse.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Painless sells beautifully because painless is a product.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: The hunger doesn't sell anything to anybody, which is exactly why nobody wants to tell you the truth about it.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: But your hunger is not the malfunction.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: The hunger is your receipt.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: A deficit means your body needs more energy than you just handed to it.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: So it goes and it gets the difference off of you.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's the transaction.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: There's never been another one.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: And the feeling it produces while it does is not the process failing.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's the process handing you the invoice.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: So when somebody sells you painless, understand what they're actually selling.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: A way not to feel the one signal that tells you the thing is working.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now here's the part I actually want to talk about today, and it has nothing to do with food.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: I spent 23 years as a BCMC with the LAPD.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: For 23 years, my entire job was listening to a story explaining while the thing that happened was not the fault of the person standing in front of me.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody has a story.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Most of them are true or some variation.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Usually there's three versions of the truth yours, theirs, and God's, right?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: The actual, actual truth.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: The car did swerve.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: The light was yellow.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: And in the case of the food industry, really did spend 30 years and a research budget bigger than most cities finding the exact mitzvah ingredients that overrides the signal in your brain that says stop.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's not me being generous.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's documented.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's their own research, not mine.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing about a true story: a true story can still be an excuse.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't understand that until it was my own case file sitting on my own kitchen table.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you sat down tonight and wrote out every reason you're the size you are, you would write a true document.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Genetics.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: A schedule that never lets up.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: A childhood that taught you food was love, or food was safety, or food was the only thing in the house that was actually yours.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: An industry that spent decades studying exactly how to keep you coming back.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Every line of the report it's accurate.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: I could sign it.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: I've signed worse reports about better men, but a true report is not a verdict, and this is the part nobody tells you.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: You can be completely right about how you got here and still be the only one who can walk you out.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Now those are two separate questions.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Whose fault is it and whose job is it?
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: You can spend the rest of your life litigating the first one, and plenty of good people do.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's waiting to fix the past.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: And they're still standing in the same kitchen ten years later with a better vocabulary for why.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Only you can answer the second one.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: That second question has always been you.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it will always be you, no matter how airtight the report gets.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's the whole case, and here's the verdict I'm handing down on myself out loud on camera, where I can't take it back.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: You got yourself into this place, not because you're weak, and not because an industry didn't spend real money studying how to beat you, because they did, and they're very good at their job.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: You got yourself here because whose job it is to walk you out has never once depended on whose fault it is that you're standing here.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna have to pull up your man pants and you're gonna have to make it happen.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I know how that sounds sitting next to a paragraph against Grelin and research budgets.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I said both on purpose, back to back, because I want you to hear them smash into each other.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: The science is real, and the sentence still stands.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Explained is not the same as excused.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Let me hand the other side because it's best case one more time because it earned it.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: The post about the body fighting back at three weeks is describing something real.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: People do quit at week three.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's measured.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Telling somebody to just try harder in week three has a failure rate you can actually set your watch by.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not telling you to try harder.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Trying harder is not a plan, it's a mood, and moods don't survive Tuesdays.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you to stop treating the true report as the finish line.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Now here's where the two sides actually meet because they are not as far apart as the argument makes them sound.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: The science side is right that willpower is not a muscle you flex harder at 9 30 at night.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: The accountability side is right that somebody still has to walk through the door every single night, regardless.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: The answer is not more willpower standing at the door.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: The answer is fewer decisions happening at the door at all.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: You do not out willpower a hungry a hungry brain standing in the kitchen at night.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: You decide once in daylight with a full stomach and a clear head what is allowed to walk through the door and what is not.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: That one decision, made once, does more work than a thousand nights of gritting your teeth against a signal your own body is generating on purpose.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the only new instruction in the whole episode, and it's not another eating protocol because you already have one from Monday.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: This is the piece underneath it.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: So tonight, before anything else, write one sentence.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: The sentence you would put in the report explaining why not today.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Write the real one, not the polished one, not the one that sounds good out loud, but the real one, and then read it back to yourself the way I used to read back a report before I signed it, put my name on it, and gave it to the watch commander to give it a once over and put his approval on it as well.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now ask yourself the only question that mattered in 23 years of asking for a living is an is this an explanation or is this a verdict?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: If it explains how you got somewhere, keep it.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: If it is true, if it is useful, and it belongs in the file.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Genetics belongs in the file.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: A brutal week belongs in the file.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: If it's deciding what happens next on your behalf, cross it out because that decision doesn't belong to a sentence written in a moment of hunger at 9.30 at night.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: It belongs to you in daylight, and you already made it once.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's the whole move tonight.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: One sentence, read once, sort into two piles, explanation or verdict.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: Now let me give you what that actually looks like because a rule with no example is just a slogan.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Say the sentence is I had a brutal day at work and I deserve this.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: So many meals have I deserved.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I thought.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Read it back.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Now is that deciding what happens tonight, or is it explaining how you got to 8 p.m.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: tired?
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: It is explaining how you got to 8 p.m.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: tired.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Keep it.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: And eat the meal you already planned anyway.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now say that sentence is one bite will not matter tonight.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: Read that one back the same way.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: That sentence is not describing anything that already happened.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's describing what happens next.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Right now, using a moment of hunger as the judge.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: Cross that out.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Same brain, same night, two sentences that sound almost identical, and only one of them gets to vote.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the entire skill.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it gets easier the more nights you run it.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Your kids are watching which pile you sort things into far more than they're watching what's on your plate.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: They'll run whatever sorting method they watch you use on their own hardest things someday, whatever that turns out to be for them.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: You don't get to pick which lesson lands, you only get to pick which one you're teaching.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: And you do not get the credit for that in real time.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need it.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 57 years old.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: There's no pension coming for me for this.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: I don't get a mulligan on the next 10 years the way I might have gotten one at 30.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not anywhere close to my age, neither do you.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: The number on the scale is what it is.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not going to stand here or sit here and prepare a number is the point of tonight's show.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: The point is it came from one decision made on an ordinary day with nothing special about it, defended every single night since one true report at a time, sorted straight into the right pile, not because the sentence doesn't matter.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: It matters.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Grelin is real, the industry's own research is real.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: The true report, that's real.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not the verdict.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it never was the verdict.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: I want to leave you with one more thing before I let you go because somebody watching this is going to try to use tonight's whole argument against himself.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: He's going to say, well, if it's not about willpower, it's not about blame, then why does it feel like it's my fault every single night at 9 30?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Here's your answer.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: It feels like it's your fault because you're the one standing in the kitchen, and you're the one who gets to decide on both of those things true at the same time as the true report sitting next to them.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Responsibility is not the same word as blame, even though they both show up in the same sitting most nights.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: Blame looks backwards and asks who did this to you?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Responsibility looks forward and asks, who does something about it now?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: You can hand blame to an hand blame to an industry that earned it and still keep responsibility for yourself, because nobody else was ever going to be standing in the kitchen at 9 30 anyway.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: One thing I owe you straight, I could not get into the public forums this morning where people argue about this without a product sitting in front of them.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I what I quoted came off X yesterday afternoon, I described the substance of it straight as I went rather than inventing anything.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm not a physician.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: If you're on blood pressure medication, a statin or metformin, don't change anything because a guy with a camera got loud tonight.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Talk to your own doctor about any change you're making and let a licensed professional manage medication on their own schedule.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's not defiance, that's doing this the right way.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Write that sentence tonight, sort it into one of two piles, then act like the second pile doesn't get a vote because as of tonight it doesn't get a vote.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is at thelastaddiction.com.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not doing this.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: I am doing this with you, but I'm not doing it ahead of you.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Connor with Honor, you be safe out there.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you tomorrow.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you for watching.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Take care.