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Daisy Brown - Mental Health · Look Who's Talking

• 0:00
  You are listening to Look Who's Talking.
• 0:18
  I am Cameron Minter.
• 0:19
  I am your co-host and our wonderful Head Start director, Jessica Coffie.
• 0:25
  Hey.
• 0:26
  Is in the house.
• 0:27
  What is going on, Jessica?
• 0:29
  Not much, Cameron.
• 0:30
  Just, you know, trying to keep my head above water.
• 0:33
  Just keep your head above water.
• 0:34
  Did you grow a mole?
• 0:35
  Huh?
• 0:36
  Did you grow a mole?
• 0:37
  Or is that a big, big, big huge pimple?
• 0:38
  Oh my God.
• 0:39
  We're on TV.
• 0:40
  That turned black.
• 0:41
  Oh my God.
• 0:42
  She gets on my nerves.
• 0:43
  I mean, the people might want to see it.
• 0:46
  I mean, it's hidden, but no, now everybody on-
• 0:49
  It's hidden.
• 0:50
  Oh my God, I can't stand you.
• 0:51
  Who is that?
• 0:52
  I don't know if I'm talking to you or that.
• 0:55
  Wow.
• 0:56
  What?
• 0:57
  I can't.
• 0:58
  I can't stand with you.
• 0:59
  I'm sorry.
• 1:00
  Let's start over.
• 1:01
  No.
• 1:02
  No.
• 1:03
  It's in there and it's going to stay and it's going to cook.
• 1:04
  Okay.
• 1:05
  Because it's going to come back on you.
• 1:06
  Anyway.
• 1:07
  What's your name?
• 1:08
  Jessica.
• 1:09
  How are you?
• 1:10
  Hi, Cam.
• 1:11
  How are you?
• 1:12
  I'm doing well.
• 1:13
  I'm ready for football season.
• 1:14
  I was going to say, I think I threw you off.
• 1:17
  You did.
• 1:18
  You did.
• 1:19
  Football, yeah.
• 1:20
  What?
• 1:21
  Oh, it's so fake.
• 1:22
  No, I like football.
• 1:23
  You do like football, right?
• 1:24
  I don't know.
• 1:25
  I'm not a football fan.
• 1:26
  You do like football, right?
• 1:28
  I don't love football.
• 1:30
  Okay.
• 1:31
  So who's your team?
• 1:32
  I mean, UK.
• 1:33
  For real.
• 1:34
  For real.
• 1:35
  That was just...
• 1:36
  I see this show is going to... I don't know.
• 1:39
  It's going to be one of them days.
• 1:42
  I don't know about this show.
• 1:43
  I mean, you just ain't saying nothing right today.
• 1:44
  I don't know what it is.
• 1:45
  It's just nothing.
• 1:46
  I do like... I mean, you like the Cardinals.
• 1:47
  That's right.
• 1:48
  I love my Cardinals.
• 1:49
  That's your team.
• 1:50
  I love my Cardinals.
• 1:51
  But see...
• 1:52
  I'm consistent with UK.
• 1:53
  However, I just like football.
• 1:54
  Okay.
• 1:56
  See, that's better because UK is not really known for football.
• 2:02
  And most UK fans are not football fans.
• 2:06
  Football fans.
• 2:07
  Yeah.
• 2:08
  I mean, they're not football fans, but they go to the games.
• 2:10
  Right.
• 2:11
  How about that?
• 2:12
  You'll see them games packed.
• 2:13
  Traffic is going to be awful.
• 2:14
  That's right.
• 2:15
  That's right.
• 2:16
  Speaking of traffic.
• 2:17
  You used to...
• 2:18
  You know my most unfavorite day of the year has come and passed.
• 2:23
  Yes.
• 2:24
  And that's the first day of school.
• 2:25
  How did you do?
• 2:26
  You know, I waited to... I left my house at 930 and I was fine.
• 2:31
  That's how you avoid the traffic.
• 2:34
  But coming home... oh.
• 2:38
  Even if I leave the office at 6 o'clock, there's just traffic.
• 2:42
  Like, because now UK and the school systems are in and...
• 2:46
  Oh, I forgot about UK.
• 2:48
  Oh, it just makes my life complicated.
• 2:51
  It's rough.
• 2:52
  It's just rough out here in these streets.
• 2:54
  You know what?
• 2:55
  This is when I'm tested because sitting in traffic and then people who can't drive or
• 3:04
  driving slow...
• 3:05
  Oh my God.
• 3:06
  Like, why are you driving so slow?
• 3:07
  You sound like you got some road rage up in you.
• 3:10
  I don't have road rage.
• 3:11
  I just have...
• 3:12
  Are you sure?
• 3:13
  I'm positive.
• 3:14
  I don't have road rage, but I have just road etiquette if you in the way.
• 3:21
  You know, they remind me of when you walking in the mall and there's someone in front of
• 3:27
  you walking so slow that it slows your stride down.
• 3:32
  And I don't have a horn to beat when I'm in the mall walking.
• 3:36
  But I have a horn.
• 3:38
  Oh, yes.
• 3:39
  That's called rage.
• 3:40
  It's not road rage.
• 3:41
  You are absolutely right.
• 3:42
  It's just rage.
• 3:43
  No.
• 3:44
  Why did they give you a horn if they did not want you to use it when you were in your car?
• 3:50
  Wow.
• 3:51
  Can you explain that?
• 3:52
  No, I can't.
• 3:53
  You're absolutely right.
• 3:54
  It's perfectly to be used.
• 3:55
  Then people want to get mad at you if you like... There's a difference in horn blows.
• 4:02
  Errrr means you're mad.
• 4:04
  But to me, hey, pay attention.
• 4:06
  The light turned green.
• 4:07
  Have you seen Unhinged?
• 4:08
  No.
• 4:09
  Oh, that's a movie you need to see.
• 4:10
  Is it an old movie?
• 4:11
  Yes, it is an old movie.
• 4:12
  And it all starts... Well, it starts off the dudes having some issues.
• 4:17
  Well, hold up.
• 4:20
  Who's in it?
• 4:21
  Oh, what's his name?
• 4:22
  He was from Gladiator.
• 4:23
  Is that the name Will?
• 4:24
  Oh, that ain't Will Smith.
• 4:25
  No.
• 4:26
  It's a guy from Gladiator.
• 4:27
  Oh, I'm thinking of a comedy.
• 4:28
  But anyway, he... Oh, I'm thinking of Hitched.
• 4:33
  Sorry.
• 4:34
  Yeah.
• 4:35
  See, I'm in the vicious movie.
• 4:36
  Go look it up.
• 4:37
  Unhinged.
• 4:38
  Is it scary?
• 4:39
  Because I'm not going to watch it.
• 4:40
  No, it's not scary.
• 4:41
  It's... Suspenseful?
• 4:42
  Okay.
• 4:43
  So, I'm going to go ahead and watch it.
• 4:44
  No, it's not scary.
• 4:47
  Okay.
• 4:48
  So, here's what's scary for me.
• 4:50
  Scary movies like... Freddy Krueger and all that crap.
• 4:53
  That's not scary.
• 4:54
  That is.
• 4:55
  What's scary is real life.
• 4:57
  When real life things can happen, that's what's scary.
• 5:00
  Like Purge.
• 5:01
  Have you seen Purge?
• 5:02
  The Purge?
• 5:03
  I can't.
• 5:04
  Your attention span is just... Yeah.
• 5:05
  Yeah.
• 5:06
  I've seen Purge.
• 5:07
  Just go with the flow, Kim.
• 5:08
  I'm just trying to get this into you.
• 5:11
  Never mind.
• 5:12
  Just never mind.
• 5:13
  Unhinged.
• 5:14
  Go look at it.
• 5:15
  It's... It sounds scary.
• 5:16
  I'm not going to watch it.
• 5:17
  You can tell me about it.
• 5:18
  It's not... It's suspenseful.
• 5:19
  I don't like suspense.
• 5:20
  Well, it all starts off the guy, he's having a bad day and he kills somebody and somebody
• 5:28
  blows their horn at him in traffic and he pursues them relentlessly.
• 5:33
  Like he don't give up?
• 5:39
  Just by blowing their horn?
• 5:40
  Bruh.
• 5:41
  Bruh.
• 5:42
  That's what I'm saying.
• 5:43
  What?
• 5:44
  Right.
• 5:45
  You have bruh.
• 5:46
  One more.
• 5:47
  Try one more.
• 5:48
  Don't.
• 5:49
  Bruh.
• 5:50
  There you go.
• 5:51
  I can't.
• 5:52
  I can't with you.
• 5:53
  So with that, I think it's time for a very inspirational... I mean, this one's got
• 6:01
  to knock me off my socks because we've really started out really bad.
• 6:05
  Well, I might need to find a new one because... No, this one's got to be the one.
• 6:07
  It's got to be the one.
• 6:08
  It's time for a Coffie break.
• 6:09
  Okay, guys.
• 6:18
  For today's coffee break, I want to say the best revenge is none.
• 6:23
  Oh my God.
• 6:25
  Kill.
• 6:26
  Move on.
• 6:27
  Right.
• 6:28
  And don't become like those who hurt you.
• 6:29
  Okay.
• 6:30
  Okay, that ran in line.
• 6:31
  That's good.
• 6:32
  That's good because you got... I'm not going to blow no horns anymore.
• 6:33
  Right.
• 6:34
  Right.
• 6:35
  Yeah.
• 6:36
  We're not going to do that.
• 6:37
  Even though that wasn't revenge.
• 6:38
  And one revenge.
• 6:40
  However, you know what?
• 6:43
  Just cool breeze it.
• 6:46
  If someone making that, there's no need to match their energy.
• 6:50
  That's right because there's only certain things that you can control and you are one
• 6:54
  of them.
• 6:55
  Okay.
• 6:56
  Your response is one of them.
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  Yes.
• 6:58
  I keep in mind, vengeance is mine.
• 6:59
  Said the Lord.
• 7:00
  Someone said the Lord.
• 7:01
  Said the Lord.
• 7:02
  Yeah.
• 7:03
  Yes, Lord.
• 7:04
  Jesus.
• 7:05
  Yeah.
• 7:06
  Yeah.
• 7:07
  You know what?
• 7:08
  I know this definitely wasn't planned, but everything that's happened so far today is
• 7:16
  totally appropriate for today's guests.
• 7:19
  Yes.
• 7:20
  Will you do us the honors?
• 7:21
  It actually is.
• 7:22
  Because we need some of this right now.
• 7:25
  Lexen.
• 7:26
  This is one of my favorite people in the world.
• 7:30
  The world, Kim.
• 7:31
  The world.
• 7:32
  Not in Lexington, but the world.
• 7:33
  Not the subdivision.
• 7:34
  Because you add that up and that's a lot of people.
• 7:37
  That's a lot.
• 7:38
  Okay.
• 7:39
  Okay.
• 7:40
  We have with us Daisy Brown.
• 7:42
  Hey, Daisy.
• 7:44
  Hello.
• 7:45
  She is with Champion Therapy.
• 7:48
  I will let you do all your acronyms because I can't keep up with my own.
• 7:55
  I hate that part.
• 7:58
  She has Elemental P out behind her now.
• 8:00
  All of it.
• 8:01
  It's all of the above.
• 8:02
  It just means I've been working.
• 8:03
  Yes.
• 8:04
  So, Daisy collaborates with us on different, let's say mental health and just group counseling
• 8:15
  and things like that.
• 8:17
  And supports our emotional, our goal towards emotional growth and well-being.
• 8:23
  So thank you for having me.
• 8:25
  Welcome to the show.
• 8:26
  Thank you.
• 8:27
  Thank you for allowing me to be here.
• 8:28
  I'm excited.
• 8:29
  I love our collaboration on mental health and making sure everybody is well.
• 8:33
  So that they're not horning people or becoming unhinged.
• 8:36
  Unhinged.
• 8:37
  We're trying to make sure people don't become unhinged.
• 8:41
  Or start doing a purge.
• 8:45
  So I appreciate the fact that we get to come together and make sure those things don't
• 8:50
  happen in real life.
• 8:51
  Help me.
• 8:52
  So what I would like to start off talking about is, well, part of your background, I
• 9:03
  know working with individuals is one thing, but I want to know about how it is working
• 9:09
  with agencies and groups.
• 9:12
  And how can that affect the trajectory of where that, say, company is going?
• 9:20
  I think to work with groups or an agency, it changes the culture of the agency.
• 9:27
  Because now it's not just, okay, it's one thing if one person goes to therapy, or if
• 9:31
  we put it like this, okay, if the whole house is sick and one person gets help, but they
• 9:36
  come back into a sick house, then they get sick again.
• 9:39
  So if you have it where the whole agency is well, then that means you have a well agency.
• 9:44
  And if there's only one person or a couple people that's sick, the healthy people can
• 9:49
  actually work on the person that's sick and be like, hey, you really need to go get therapy.
• 9:53
  You really need to go get some help.
• 9:54
  I was the same way.
• 9:55
  I understand.
• 9:56
  Now look at me.
• 9:57
  I'm different.
• 9:58
  Working together as a group makes the whole agency become better.
• 10:02
  Or you're at least able to identify sick people and kind of stay away from sick people because
• 10:06
  you're not feeling well.
• 10:08
  I'm going to go this way until you go get you some help.
• 10:11
  So that's kind of how it is.
• 10:12
  It makes it so that the whole agency looks different.
• 10:15
  And then you can also recognize sickness and not match that energy.
• 10:19
  It's the matching that...
• 10:20
  That's a struggle.
• 10:21
  It's the matching what?
• 10:24
  The matching energy.
• 10:26
  That you want?
• 10:27
  If you talk...
• 10:29
  Example.
• 10:31
  If you talk to me crazy, it's depending on how I feel that day what you going to get.
• 10:38
  And it might be crazy.
• 10:39
  But of course, we don't want that to happen.
• 10:42
  Just like the little quote said to...
• 10:44
  Basically, you don't have to match people's energy.
• 10:48
  So looking within is important to identify how you interact with people.
• 10:57
  I think knowing before you walk out the house where you are.
• 11:01
  Like doing a self-evaluation before you walk out the house, before you get out of the bed
• 11:06
  to know exactly what you have.
• 11:07
  So the way I kind of deem it is looking at your emotional budget.
• 11:12
  So same way with your checking account.
• 11:15
  If you look at your checking account and you know that you only got this amount of money
• 11:18
  in there.
• 11:19
  To spend more than that is going to overdraw your account.
• 11:23
  Emotionally before you get out of bed, if you know you only have a certain amount in
• 11:26
  your emotional budget and if you respond to that person, that way you're going to overdraw
• 11:30
  your account for the rest of the day, it's better for you not to even purchase that.
• 11:34
  Like, oh, that's what they going through.
• 11:37
  And if I respond that way, I'm going to be negative all day long.
• 11:40
  I like that.
• 11:41
  What happens when Apple Pay takes it out and you didn't know it?
• 11:44
  Apple likes to take everything out.
• 11:46
  See, I like that because I compare my day.
• 11:49
  Am I having a Beyonce day?
• 11:50
  Y'all know I love her.
• 11:52
  Or Miss Sealy day.
• 11:53
  Oh!
• 11:54
  It's one of the two.
• 11:57
  Sometimes mine is not a little living dead.
• 11:58
  Is that hand going to come up after the grave or is she going to stay asleep?
• 12:05
  So Daisy works with our Head Start parents and our staff here at Community Action Council
• 12:11
  offering mental health services.
• 12:15
  So where are you at?
• 12:17
  What's the name of your?
• 12:21
  So it's the Champion Therapy Center.
• 12:23
  You can reach out to us at 859-359-8352 when you call and talk to the admin.
• 12:29
  Let them know that you are calling from Community Action so that we'll know exactly how to
• 12:34
  bill and what paperwork to send.
• 12:36
  And we offer services seven days a week, Monday through Sunday, virtual and in person.
• 12:43
  And if you are a parent that is just struggling trying to gather life, because parenting is
• 12:48
  hard, and you never know how your kids are going to wake up on what day.
• 12:52
  And so you can be like, okay, I'm having a good day.
• 12:53
  And your child be like, I want to wear these hot boots during the summertime.
• 12:58
  Wear the hoodie.
• 13:00
  Wear the hoodie.
• 13:01
  And you're like, and you can always tell when the child wins because when they come out
• 13:05
  and they're not matching at all, the parents say, you got it.
• 13:07
  Whatever, whatever you want to wear, go right here.
• 13:09
  They won today.
• 13:10
  The hoodie with the shorts.
• 13:11
  It's just like, oh, they had a fight.
• 13:14
  I'm reflecting.
• 13:17
  So how would you say if someone came to you and said, you know, mental health ain't nothing
• 13:24
  wrong with me.
• 13:26
  You know, there's so much, you know, negativity on saying mental health.
• 13:32
  How could you help someone get past that to get the support that they need?
• 13:38
  Well, I believe that everybody has mental health.
• 13:41
  Everybody does not have mental illness.
• 13:43
  So mental health is your mind, your emotions, your will, your intellect.
• 13:46
  Everyone has that because we all have that.
• 13:48
  Mental illness is when it starts affecting your daily living.
• 13:50
  I like everything about you.
• 13:51
  Like when you don't want to get out of bed, when you don't want to wash yourself, when
• 13:54
  you don't want to brush your teeth, when you don't want to.
• 13:56
  That's when it's like, okay, you need to probably talk to somebody.
• 13:58
  The more we normalize talking to somebody, the more it becomes normal.
• 14:03
  Like everybody needs somebody to talk to.
• 14:05
  Your girlfriends and your homies are tired of hearing it.
• 14:07
  And so that's when you start paying somebody to listen to you and give you sound wisdom
• 14:10
  because when you have the pen and you're writing the narrative, your narrative isn't always
• 14:14
  the right narrative.
• 14:15
  And so sometimes you need somebody else to be like, what's your proof behind that?
• 14:20
  And so making it normal to talk to somebody, everybody needs somebody to talk to.
• 14:25
  It's just like, it doesn't mean, you know, back in the day, oh, if you're talking to
• 14:27
  a therapist, you crazy.
• 14:29
  All of us are a little crazy.
• 14:32
  So just join the rest of us over here.
• 14:34
  That I'm a therapist with a therapist because I need somebody to talk to too.
• 14:38
  I need somebody to help me organize my life and rationalize what I'm going through.
• 14:42
  And so it's normal to talk to somebody.
• 14:45
  I think that's good to hear that a therapist has a therapist because, you know, you wouldn't
• 14:52
  want to work out with a trainer who doesn't work out.
• 14:56
  You know, so I think that's great to hear that, you know, you, you receive that support
• 15:02
  as well.
• 15:03
  Absolutely.
• 15:04
  He tells me all about myself on a regular basis.
• 15:05
  He does and I keep showing up in that copay.
• 15:12
  We are talking with Daisy Brown.
• 15:14
  We're going to take a quick commercial break, but you are listening to Look Who's Talking.
• 15:29
  This past year has highlighted the strength of Community Action Council.
• 15:33
  Every day our staff works together to help families recover from this crisis.
• 15:38
  We're educating children at home and in person, helping parents who lost their jobs, and helping
• 15:43
  households avoid eviction.
• 15:45
  Our work at Community Action Council has never been more important than it is right now,
• 15:49
  so why not join us?
• 15:51
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• 15:56
  Apply online at commaction.org.
• 16:01
  Community Action Council's Head Start programs are now enrolling for the 24-25 school year
• 16:05
  in 15 counties, including Lexington.
• 16:08
  Head Start offers high quality early childhood education for qualifying families with children
• 16:12
  between the ages of six weeks and five years old.
• 16:15
  Spaces are limited and filling up quickly.
• 16:17
  So to help ensure your child receives the Head Start advantage this year, start your
• 16:21
  application today by calling 859-233-4600 or go online at commaction.org.
• 16:30
  That's C-O-M-M, Action.org.
• 17:01
  You are listening to Look Who's Talking.
• 17:03
  Our guest today is Daisy Brown.
• 17:06
  But just for those Head Start parents that are listening, are you really listening?
• 17:12
  Today's Head Start Word of the Day is transformative.
• 17:18
  Transformative.
• 17:20
  All right, Daisy.
• 17:22
  Before we went to the break, we were talking about, I don't know, what were we talking
• 17:26
  about?
• 17:27
  Trying to get into a groove?
• 17:28
  What were we talking about?
• 17:30
  I think we're focusing in on how to find your rhythm now that school is back in and work
• 17:36
  is back in and all the things.
• 17:38
  And what worked last year might not work this year.
• 17:40
  And not being so hard on yourself if you haven't mastered it in the very beginning of school
• 17:46
  starting.
• 17:47
  If you haven't mastered how to get homework done and cook dinner and all the things and
• 17:50
  how that can be really a traumatic thing in your mind because sometimes we are our worst
• 17:54
  critic.
• 17:55
  Yeah.
• 17:56
  If we haven't mastered it, if we're not, you know, a one parent, we can be very hard on
• 18:01
  ourselves.
• 18:02
  And I find that traumatic events or crisis happen as change happens.
• 18:06
  And so if you have a child that is now going to elementary school and they've been home
• 18:09
  with you all this time or one going to middle school or high school, in your mind, that
• 18:13
  can feel like a crisis because I'm like, oh my God, my child is growing up.
• 18:16
  What am I going to do?
• 18:18
  And so having grace for yourself and patience with yourself if you haven't perfected everything
• 18:23
  you think you should have perfected, I would say.
• 18:25
  And so as a therapist, I'd be like, OK, the rhythm may be different this year.
• 18:28
  It's OK that the rhythm is different, but sometimes we try to be who we were.
• 18:32
  That also makes me think about when parents have multiple children and what they did with
• 18:37
  the first one is different than what they did with the second one.
• 18:40
  So then they think, oh my gosh, I did something wrong.
• 18:43
  But it may be you have different kids.
• 18:46
  None of them are the same.
• 18:48
  The way they respond is different.
• 18:50
  How they talk to you.
• 18:51
  You can have a child that's very emotional.
• 18:53
  You can have a child that's very assertive or aggressive.
• 18:55
  You can have one that I remember one time a parent came in and said, I have four daughters.
• 19:00
  And this one, we never knew that she was even in a room.
• 19:04
  She was so quiet.
• 19:05
  She was perfect.
• 19:06
  And I was just like, there is no such thing.
• 19:08
  And so when she started displaying emotions and they were a lot of emotions, they were
• 19:12
  thrown off because it was like, she never, and it was like, no, we all have emotions.
• 19:17
  We just respond differently.
• 19:18
  And now it's her time to respond.
• 19:20
  And y'all like the way she responded.
• 19:22
  So all children are a little different and being OK because you were given these kids.
• 19:27
  You have what it takes to make sure that child is successful, but you can't put them all
• 19:31
  in a box.
• 19:32
  It's not going to work.
• 19:33
  You would drive yourself crazy.
• 19:34
  Yeah.
• 19:35
  And them too.
• 19:36
  I think my parents learned that the hard way when I came along.
• 19:39
  OK.
• 19:40
  Listen, I know I test they gangsta.
• 19:44
  I did.
• 19:45
  But I thank y'all for sticking with me.
• 19:48
  Oh, they stuck by you.
• 19:50
  They stuck.
• 19:52
  All of my kids are different.
• 19:55
  All of them are different.
• 19:56
  I have the assertive one.
• 19:57
  I have a couple of sneakies that I'll be like, OK, I need the Holy Ghost and read between
• 20:04
  the lines to see exactly what they're doing because they're not going to tell me.
• 20:08
  And it doesn't change.
• 20:09
  Let me go ahead and set people free.
• 20:11
  When they turn 18, it does not change.
• 20:13
  It does not.
• 20:14
  How bad they need you.
• 20:15
  It doesn't change.
• 20:16
  I know they said 18.
• 20:17
  They lied.
• 20:18
  Right.
• 20:19
  They keep coming.
• 20:20
  They keep coming.
• 20:21
  Yeah.
• 20:22
  But you know what?
• 20:23
  That goes in line with having staff too.
• 20:26
  I learned it wasn't necessarily the hard way, but I learned that, oh, I see why I'm not
• 20:35
  getting this result from this person because they don't operate that way.
• 20:41
  And I had to be the change.
• 20:44
  You know?
• 20:45
  And I think that's something that a lot of people, whether it's through family life or
• 20:50
  through work life, you're expecting someone else to change.
• 20:55
  And you might need to look in the mirror first.
• 20:59
  Yeah.
• 21:00
  I think knowing, and I remember doing this with the administrative staff when we did
• 21:04
  the retreat, knowing how people work, like knowing their personality also shows you how
• 21:09
  to get the best out of them.
• 21:11
  Yeah.
• 21:12
  And you don't want the assertive communication, and some people need just facts.
• 21:16
  Like once you know exactly how your staff works, you can actually get the best out of
• 21:20
  them.
• 21:21
  But if you expect them all to respond like you, everybody don't respond real well to
• 21:26
  assertive communication.
• 21:27
  Yeah.
• 21:28
  Some people just give me the facts.
• 21:29
  Give me what you need, and I'll run with it from there.
• 21:31
  And so when we did the personality assessment, we figured out, hmm, this is the people over
• 21:36
  here and these are the people over here, and this is how you get the best out of both worlds.
• 21:40
  Yeah.
• 21:41
  You just have to know how to get something to offer.
• 21:42
  Yeah.
• 21:43
  You just have to know how to get it from them.
• 21:44
  That part.
• 21:45
  Like I'm such a to the point person.
• 21:49
  If you ask me a question, say yes or no, and I'll be like, no.
• 21:54
  And people get offended.
• 21:56
  And I'm like, did you not ask me?
• 21:59
  And you know, some people want that, well, not at this time.
• 22:04
  However, we can look, no, I'm not going to look back.
• 22:07
  It's no.
• 22:08
  You can look at it.
• 22:12
  Hey, and I'm just learning that instead of writing rewording child, be GPT, reword politely.
• 22:19
  I learned that last week.
• 22:23
  Mercy.
• 22:24
  So one of the things that we just recently had our men's group and we had Daisy as a
• 22:31
  guest there because the headstart men's group.
• 22:34
  Yes.
• 22:35
  I'm sorry.
• 22:36
  What did I say?
• 22:37
  No, you just gave me a story.
• 22:38
  Oh, okay, yeah.
• 22:39
  Head Start Men's Group.
• 22:40
  Anyway, men have, in my opinion,
• 22:44
  and she can correct me if I'm wrong,
• 22:45
  men have more issues of letting out our emotions,
• 22:50
  letting people in, letting our problems be known.
• 22:55
  And one of the things in our group is that
• 22:58
  once we get to talking, we will talk in a free environment,
• 23:06
  but once we get to talking, then we realize,
• 23:09
  oh, I'm dealing with the same thing,
• 23:11
  oh, I'm dealing with the same thing.
• 23:13
  And we could be homies, we could be right there together
• 23:18
  and never know because that's just a difference.
• 23:22
  So in reaching those type of, reaching men,
• 23:26
  that's a different animal, is it not?
• 23:29
  It is.
• 23:30
  Men, it takes some time for them to feel comfortable
• 23:33
  expressing their emotions.
• 23:34
  I will say once they start expressing their emotions,
• 23:37
  I wanna say this to women and men,
• 23:39
  don't weaponize their emotions against them.
• 23:42
  Once they become vulnerable with you,
• 23:44
  don't, when you all get into an argument
• 23:46
  or something like that, do not use that against them
• 23:49
  because then trying to get them to talk to you again
• 23:51
  will be a problem because they trusted you
• 23:54
  with something that they've kept dear.
• 23:55
  And so once they get to talking,
• 23:57
  don't weaponize that against them.
• 24:00
  Bruh.
• 24:01
  That's the truth.
• 24:01
  Because if you do, then it's gonna take the jaws of life
• 24:04
  and the AED machine to get them to start back talking
• 24:08
  to you again.
• 24:08
  So when they start listening and allow them
• 24:11
  to express their emotions, but giving them that safe space
• 24:14
  to be able to say that they're scared and they don't know
• 24:16
  and they don't understand and don't use that against them
• 24:19
  because you say you want them to talk
• 24:21
  and then when they start talking,
• 24:22
  then it turns into something else.
• 24:24
  And then you're looking at them and they're dead man walking.
• 24:26
  But why don't you talk to me?
• 24:28
  I tried that.
• 24:28
  Right.
• 24:29
  And so I also tell the men, make sure if they do that,
• 24:32
  you challenge them and say, that's not okay.
• 24:33
  You're not allowed to do that.
• 24:35
  I wanna be with you and I wanna talk to you,
• 24:37
  but you can't ever do that again.
• 24:38
  Yeah. Right.
• 24:39
  So what do y'all be talking about
• 24:40
  when y'all around each other?
• 24:42
  We talk about everything.
• 24:43
  I mean.
• 24:44
  Clearly you're not talking about your emotions.
• 24:46
  Right, right.
• 24:47
  I mean, but we.
• 24:48
  Because I'm calling stuff, girl, guess what happened?
• 24:51
  One of the funniest things for me is once men identify
• 24:55
  that this is a safe place, we talking.
• 25:00
  We talking.
• 25:01
  And before you know it, it'd be like, wow.
• 25:05
  You know what I'm saying?
• 25:06
  So that's another reason why we invite different guests
• 25:10
  in specifically dealing with different topics.
• 25:14
  Cause I don't, my worst fear is opening up a can of worms
• 25:19
  and then ain't got no way to get them back in.
• 25:21
  You know what I'm saying?
• 25:22
  So yeah, that's why Daisy was there
• 25:26
  and our men's group to help facilitate that
• 25:30
  and get some help, resources.
• 25:32
  And one of the things that was a big stress for us
• 25:37
  is that you have resources, you have options
• 25:41
  and not to make a permanent decision on a temporary solution.
• 25:47
  Yeah. Or permanent.
• 25:48
  Yeah.
• 25:49
  And that's key.
• 25:53
  That's not just the men.
• 25:54
  That's all of us.
• 25:55
  That's all of us.
• 25:56
  We're all going through things.
• 25:57
  We're all handling it in different ways.
• 26:00
  But you have resources available to you
• 26:04
  to help you make those decisions.
• 26:06
  Absolutely.
• 26:07
  I'll tell anybody, whatever you do,
• 26:09
  whatever you're feeling like right now
• 26:11
  is not gonna be that way permanently.
• 26:13
  If you think about the seasons, the seasons always change.
• 26:15
  Whether you want them to change or not.
• 26:17
  Like I don't want fall to come
• 26:18
  because I like summer.
• 26:19
  But guess what, it's gonna come anyway.
• 26:21
  It's coming.
• 26:21
  And so in your lifetime, when things are happening with you
• 26:24
  and you find that, oh my God, it's never gonna get better,
• 26:27
  first of all, this is how you know it's a lie.
• 26:28
  Never is a long time.
• 26:29
  Yes, right.
• 26:30
  And we haven't met never yet.
• 26:32
  Yeah.
• 26:32
  And so when in your mind you say never,
• 26:34
  that's already the lie.
• 26:35
  That's right.
• 26:36
  Because anytime you use an absolute,
• 26:38
  you know that that's not right.
• 26:39
  So in your mind, if you're sitting there thinking,
• 26:41
  this is never gonna get any better, that's not true.
• 26:44
  The season will change.
• 26:45
  Do not make a permanent decision
• 26:47
  based on a temporary situation.
• 26:48
  If you find that you are in a place where you're thinking
• 26:51
  and you know you're not thinking right
• 26:52
  and you don't feel safe with yourself, pick up the phone.
• 26:55
  Call 859-359-8352.
• 26:58
  Do not take your life.
• 26:59
  Now I become very direct when it comes to this
• 27:01
  and I'm not afraid of it.
• 27:03
  Do not take your life because I would prefer
• 27:05
  you being angry with me and alive then dead
• 27:07
  and I have to go to your funeral.
• 27:08
  I can't explain that to your children.
• 27:10
  There is not enough tears that I can wipe
• 27:12
  to make them feel okay that you're not here for prom,
• 27:15
  you're not here for weddings,
• 27:16
  you're not here for those things, they need you.
• 27:18
  So make sure that if you're feeling unsafe with yourself,
• 27:21
  that you pick up the phone and you call 859-359-8352
• 27:25
  because we need you, we want you
• 27:27
  and the world will be a better place
• 27:29
  as long as you're in it.
• 27:30
  I know I shifted there for just a second.
• 27:32
  But it's necessary and I take every advantage on that.
• 27:38
  Amen. Absolutely, she said amen.
• 27:40
  That's it.
• 27:42
  But that's something that's definitely needed
• 27:45
  and just being able to encourage our parents,
• 27:50
  there is a lot of pressure,
• 27:51
  there is a lot of things that we are all going through.
• 27:55
  And one thing too is even if you're not going through it,
• 27:58
  give grace because you don't know
• 28:01
  what the people next to you are going through.
• 28:03
  Unhens, you need to go watch it.
• 28:04
  Yeah, you know what, and yesterday,
• 28:08
  I felt like I had a bad day at work
• 28:11
  and well, I went to eat after
• 28:15
  because I said, oh, I'm going to get a nice meal for this day.
• 28:19
  And there was this little boy and his name was Jackson
• 28:23
  and he was just talking to me,
• 28:24
  the sweetest little four-year-old I've ever met.
• 28:27
  And when we were about to leave, he was like,
• 28:30
  do you want to walk out with us and grab my hand?
• 28:33
  And his parents were just smiling,
• 28:35
  like little things like that.
• 28:37
  Like, and that made me think you don't know
• 28:39
  what people are going through.
• 28:41
  Just a small little child changed my day that quick.
• 28:46
  Absolutely.
• 28:48
  So be nice.
• 28:49
  Well, I also say you don't know what people are going through
• 28:53
  and thank God you don't.
• 28:54
  Yeah.
• 28:55
  You know, when you're looking at someone on the corner
• 28:57
  holding a sign and you're like, I don't understand,
• 29:00
  thank God you don't understand.
• 29:02
  Or if there's somebody that's selling their body,
• 29:04
  thank God you don't understand
• 29:05
  why they would have to do that.
• 29:07
  So before you judge, thank God that you don't have that.
• 29:10
  That's not your story.
• 29:12
  And I'm glad that there are some things I don't understand.
• 29:15
  I don't have no point of reference
• 29:17
  and that means I was kept from that thing.
• 29:19
  But I have grace for the people who weren't kept from it.
• 29:23
  But on career day, nobody said they wanted to be an addict.
• 29:25
  They didn't say they wanted to be a prostitute.
• 29:28
  They usually said teachers or something,
• 29:29
  but sometimes life happens and it's different.
• 29:32
  And so just be grateful
• 29:33
  that some things you don't understand.
• 29:36
  That's the truth.
• 29:37
  That's the truth about it right there.
• 29:39
  So listen. Well, Daisy, I am so excited.
• 29:42
  Oh, okay.
• 29:43
  What you scared going?
• 29:44
  Because I was about to say,
• 29:46
  honey, this show, somebody listening to this show
• 29:51
  is going to receive what they need.
• 29:52
  That is right.
• 29:53
  And they are gonna be blowing your phone up.
• 29:55
  That's what I believe.
• 29:56
  Call me. That's what we need.
• 29:57
  One more time, what's that number?
• 29:59
  It is 859-359-8352, the Champion Therapy Center.
• 30:03
  Let them know that you're calling from Community Action
• 30:06
  and we will get you in
• 30:07
  and make sure that you have the help that you need.
• 30:09
  Now, this show is not just with Community Action.
• 30:14
  You must be a Head Start parent or a staff member.
• 30:19
  But you can still call the number.
• 30:21
  Of Community Action Counsel.
• 30:22
  You can still call the number if you're not.
• 30:24
  That's right.
• 30:25
  But just don't say Community Action.
• 30:25
  But you can say you heard from this podcast.
• 30:28
  Yeah, you could say that.
• 30:29
  Okay, yes.
• 30:30
  And what's the name of this podcast?
• 30:31
  Just one more time.
• 30:32
  Look who's talking.
• 30:33
  Look who's talking.
• 30:35
  That's who you've been listening to.
• 30:37
  Tell a friend, tell your neighbor,
• 30:40
  share the show, put us out there, right?
• 30:44
  All right.
• 30:45
  Tell your cousins, friends.
• 30:47
  I keep it up.
• 30:48
  Telling them.
• 30:49
  Lyle'em.
• 30:51
  We here.
• 30:53
  Thanks for listening.
• 30:54
  And we'll see you next time.