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Success Without Alignment · Is Your Way In Your Way?

0:25
Cassandra: Hello out there to all of my listeners, and I'd like to welcome you to Is Your Way.
0:32
Cassandra: In your way.
0:33
Cassandra: And yep, that's the name of my book, and that's how the name of the podcast.
0:38
Cassandra: I'm like, well, why not?
0:39
Cassandra: Because this is all about understanding or trying to in, I guess, reflect a little bit as we go through our conversations to determine whether you are in your way.
0:50
Cassandra: Uh, also, this podcast is it's initially, I was it was kind of sort of about self-improvement, but it's not ultimately about self-improvement.
1:03
Cassandra: Um, it's not primarily about purpose, it's really about freedom, freedom from regrets, freedom from those stories, freedom from what my parents did, freedom for what my boyfriend said, freedom from my partner, just freedom so that you can start living your best life on your terms.
1:26
Cassandra: So, let me explain a little bit about what that means.
1:29
Cassandra: That means living in a way that maximizes your happiness, your authenticity, and your fulfillment.
1:38
Cassandra: And also, in doing all of that, you're acting in alignment with your values, your well-being, and pursuing as opposed to dreaming.
1:47
Cassandra: So, this is what this is all about.
1:49
Cassandra: And I always say, prior to getting on, I'm always hopeful.
1:54
Cassandra: And I have had individuals to email me and said that podcast was phenomenal.
2:00
Cassandra: It has enabled me to pivot, you know, to start doing something different, and I can actually see myself in many of the conversations that you've had.
2:07
Cassandra: Now, today's guest knows that journey firsthand.
2:13
Cassandra: Sophie Ash is her name.
2:15
Cassandra: As she's she's check this out now.
2:17
Cassandra: I've done this too.
2:19
Cassandra: I've lived through burnout, reinvention, and the difficult process of learning that achievement without alignment can leave us disconnected from ourselves.
2:30
Cassandra: So today we're going to start exploring what it really takes to start performing, trust yourself again, and create a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
2:42
Cassandra: So let me introduce you to Sophie Ash.
2:45
Cassandra: Hi, Sophie.
2:46
Cassandra: Hi, Cassandra.
2:47
Cassandra: So excited to be here.
2:49
Cassandra: Thanks for having me.
2:50
Cassandra: Yeah, I'm so happy you're here too.
2:52
Cassandra: I tell you, girl, you have an incredible story, and I just can't wait to get into it.
2:57
Cassandra: But prior to that, I want to read a little bit of your bio because I want my listeners to understand why you are so qualified to talk about what we're going to talk about.
3:09
Cassandra: Because the name of the title of this podcast is Success Without Alignment.
3:15
Cassandra: So Sophie is an intuitive entrepreneur, communications expert, and the author of Be the Person.
3:23
Cassandra: Through her own journey of burnout, reinvention, and entrepreneurship, she helps people break free from perfection.
3:31
Cassandra: I'm a recovering perfectionist, just so you guys know.
3:36
Cassandra: Um, people pleasing and the pressure to constantly achieve.
3:42
Cassandra: She has empowered individuals to reconnect with who they truly are, redefine success on their own terms, and build a life that feels authentic, purposeful, and sustainable.
3:55
Cassandra: Wow.
3:56
Cassandra: So listen, Sophie.
3:58
Cassandra: I want to first of all, I usually ask people to tell me a little bit about this backstory, but you may weave that in somewhere.
4:06
Cassandra: But I am curious too.
4:08
Cassandra: It appears to me that you always had dreams.
4:11
Cassandra: It was always something you always wanted to do.
4:14
Cassandra: And I like to know, I want to know what was that and when did those dreams start?
4:21
Sophie: Yeah, that's a great question.
4:23
Sophie: I was so focused on having a life of my own and having freedom for the first 20 years of my life because I had very controlling parents and they had very high expectations of me.
4:38
Sophie: So I was always trying to please them and trying to do what I thought they wanted me to do.
4:44
Sophie: And there was a very conditional way of getting love and attention from them through my accomplishments.
4:51
Sophie: So for those first 20 years, all I could think about was I've got to get out, I've got to build a life of my own, I've got to make a name for myself, make my own money, so I don't need to rely on them anymore.
5:03
Sophie: And then over the years, I started to realize that I can really do anything that I want.
5:09
Sophie: And it's not just a matter of following a career path that may have already been laid out for me.
5:15
Sophie: I could actually create one for myself.
5:17
Sophie: So that's when I really started to dream bigger, and simultaneously I was doing work on myself to even feel worthy of having a life that was better than it had been, and really wanting to give myself all the good things and healing from the addictive, um, particularly around work and all those things, um, like realizing that I can accomplish because I want to and not because I feel a sense of obligation.
5:44
Sophie: And so that then turned into entrepreneurship.
5:49
Sophie: I just knew that I wanted to work for myself, maybe have a team, um, travel the world, work remotely, set my own hours, set my own rates.
5:59
Sophie: And I didn't know exactly what that looked like until I moved to Canada, started playing around with a few different business ideas, and then ultimately um discovered where I am right now, which which I really love in the coaching industry.
6:15
Cassandra: Oh, wow.
6:16
Cassandra: So, okay, so you always wanted to be an entrepreneur, and of course, it sounds like you didn't start that way because you talked about addiction and were you addicted to work?
6:26
Cassandra: Like what your story sounds so much like mine.
6:30
Cassandra: What was that about, you think?
6:32
Sophie: I was, I had a compulsion to work all the time.
6:37
Sophie: If I was resting, I felt incredibly guilty.
6:40
Sophie: I couldn't actually enjoy time off because I felt like I was letting myself down, I was letting other people down.
6:47
Sophie: And I know that came from the upbringing that I had and those expectations that were put on me from my parents.
6:54
Sophie: And I was an ambitious person.
6:57
Sophie: I will always be an ambitious person, but at that time I didn't know that there was a healthy way to be ambitious.
7:03
Sophie: I was being ambitious at the expense of my health, my mental health, my happiness, my sleep, everything.
7:11
Sophie: Um, relationships.
7:12
Sophie: And I think sometimes you do have to go through some of that to realize that achieving things is not gonna make you happy, and you've got to think more holistically about your life and about who you are as a person and who's around you.
7:26
Sophie: And so I really went through that and I decided that I was not gonna let work control my life and I was gonna be in control.
7:34
Sophie: And so really noticing the difference between when I was choosing to do something because it was exciting to me, and because I had the energy, and because I was learning and growing through that, versus when I was working because I felt bad about myself and I felt like I had to do something.
7:51
Sophie: And if I wasn't, I was just gonna be feeling all the feels.
7:55
Sophie: So I really had to start by making that distinction and recognizing that our whole existence is not to be productive.
8:02
Sophie: That is just one aspect of what we can do and what we want to be.
8:07
Sophie: And so that was a really difficult time for me and something that I regularly refer back to because as with any addiction, you can easily slip back into old ways if you're around certain people who are not as good of an influence.
8:23
Sophie: Um, if you're back in your childhood family dynamics, or if you just have a really, really bad mind with things in general.
8:31
Sophie: And so I always have to stay on top of it and make sure that I'm not slipping back into those old habits.
8:37
Cassandra: Okay.
8:37
Cassandra: So I'm hearing two things.
8:39
Cassandra: Number one, Sophie, you have a hell of a belief system.
8:43
Cassandra: You you you like, look, I'm not gonna do this.
8:47
Cassandra: Um, I'm addicted, it's it's it's it's not working for me.
8:51
Cassandra: I'm really not enjoying life.
8:53
Cassandra: Um I'm I'm I'm not aligned in what what I'm doing.
8:58
Cassandra: Uh, you also said, which sounds so familiar, but your belief system is incredible because you knew that you knew that you were not going to stay in that position.
9:11
Cassandra: And another thing that strikes me is you talked about your circle, your tribe, your community, how important it was for you to be around individuals that maybe are like-minded, or what what what what type of or what were the behaviors of individuals that you think help you jump off of the deck and get on another deck, so to speak?
9:37
Sophie: It's so interesting because a lot of it depends on the phase of life that you're in at that time and what your goals are.
9:44
Sophie: So when I was in the initial phase of wanting to grow my business and actually be able to fund my lifestyle, I had to look at the closest relationships around me at that time and ask myself, is this supporting me in that goal?
10:00
Sophie: And I had to walk away from an eight-year relationship where everybody thought we would get married, we would have kids, like we'd just been together since we were 18.
10:11
Sophie: And I knew that he was holding me back.
10:14
Sophie: And I walked away.
10:16
Sophie: And there was no real issue in that relationship, other than the fact that he did not believe that I could succeed in entrepreneurship, and that lack of belief alone, I knew that this was never gonna work, and so I chose to be around more entrepreneurial people and move in that direction, which was so good for me, and that was a really, really good decision.
10:41
Sophie: Whereas, you know, maybe five years after that, when I was running a business successfully, but I was burning out and I was falling into those addiction, the people around me who were telling me to like push and grow and scale, like those were not healthy influences for me.
10:58
Sophie: And I needed people around me who were able to enjoy their life, who were able to relax, who could see the bigger picture or have a more holistic view of what does success look like if it's not just your objective.
11:12
Sophie: If you're waking up every day with this heaviness of everything you have to do and just maintain where you are in life, I don't think that's freedom.
11:21
Sophie: I don't think that's success.
11:23
Sophie: And so it does depend on the phase of life that you're in and the goals that you have at that time, but it's about being really aware of what those things are and what kinds of people could either help or hinder that goal.
11:39
Cassandra: Okay.
11:39
Cassandra: So you were an individual, you know how we grow up and we're supposed to go to school, you know, supposed to meet somebody, get married, have kids, have white picket fence, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
11:50
Cassandra: And that's just not the thing today.
11:52
Cassandra: And although you talked about that eight-year relationship, perhaps he did not literally say you cannot be.
12:01
Cassandra: It was just perhaps the behavior.
12:03
Cassandra: And also you had an I'm I'm assuming, and you tell me if I'm incorrect, uh for my listeners, you have an unsettling.
12:12
Cassandra: It's like you, it's just something that's just not right.
12:17
Cassandra: And we can say it's intuition or whatever, but you know, a lot of us will fall in that trap.
12:23
Cassandra: You know it's not working, but you just stick in it and you just stay there.
12:28
Cassandra: And I applaud you because you're like, I'm I'm not, no, no, no, I'm not gonna depend on this person, blah, blah, blah.
12:36
Cassandra: So I think that is awesome.
12:38
Cassandra: And I think, Sophie Ash, if you can do it, many of us can do that.
12:42
Cassandra: Uh, if I'm not mistaken, you even talked about you moving from where you used to live to Canada with nothing.
12:50
Cassandra: You, you, you just took a leap of faith because you believed that you were gonna be something bigger than what you were.
12:57
Cassandra: Now, we am I correct in saying that that intuition and your feeling and all of that?
13:03
Sophie: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
13:05
Sophie: Because at the time when I left the UK, I had everything that I was supposed to have.
13:12
Sophie: I had a loving partner, I had a really nice apartment, I had a car, I had um a whole community that I was part of with these aquifit classes I was going to.
13:23
Sophie: I had already started doing some freelance work.
13:26
Sophie: Um, I felt like I was in a really good place.
13:29
Sophie: My health was in a great place, but then I saw this opportunity to move to Canada and I just knew if I don't do this, I'm not gonna reach my potential.
13:40
Sophie: I'm not gonna grow as much as I could, I'm not gonna accomplish as much as I could, I'm not gonna really see the world and experience things.
13:47
Sophie: So I gave it all up.
13:50
Sophie: I just sold everything, gave it away, gave it up, and moved to Canada with nothing um other than my relationship, which I then walked away from as well.
14:21
Sophie: So I really had nothing about other than my intuition that this was gonna be good for me.
14:27
Sophie: And I'm so glad that I followed it because I was right.
14:32
Cassandra: Oh, good.
14:33
Cassandra: Okay, now we're talking about entrepreneurship.
14:36
Cassandra: What are you, what type of work, what what what did you want to do on your own?
14:41
Cassandra: What what's your business?
14:44
Sophie: When I first came to Canada, I wanted to use my healthcare background because I had studied nutrition and dietetics for seven years, but I couldn't work in healthcare because I didn't have the right licensure to do that as a foreign person.
15:02
Sophie: And so I had to think really creatively about how to use the medical knowledge and other skills that I naturally had and package that up in a way that I could monetize.
15:14
Sophie: So it took me a couple of years, but eventually I realized that I could be a writer.
15:20
Sophie: I'd always been good at writing and always loved writing, and I realized that in the medical field, there's a huge need for communications that people can understand, that people can access.
15:32
Sophie: So as soon as I put those things together, I started on that path, which was the first business that really took off for me.
15:40
Sophie: And within 18 months, I was already making six figures and traveling, and I had my own place, and it was awesome.
15:48
Sophie: And then from there, I started helping other people start their writing business because I had this expertise and I had this network that I'd been building, and I started making referrals so that they could build their writing business.
16:00
Sophie: And then I went into coaching, and that became my full-time thing about four years ago.
16:06
Cassandra: Okay.
16:06
Cassandra: So you said you you were a writer, you liked writing.
16:10
Cassandra: Uh what I mean, what were you writing?
16:13
Cassandra: You hadn't written your book yet, right?
16:15
Cassandra: So yeah, so what were you writing?
16:19
Sophie: Yeah, so I was writing for myself.
16:22
Sophie: Um, I was journaling all the time and expressing myself through writing very naturally.
16:28
Sophie: I was trying to find my own voice.
16:31
Sophie: Then from there, it kind of progressed to writing on social media and saying what I thought about things.
16:38
Sophie: Um and what was the other thing I was just thinking of?
16:43
Sophie: Um, I don't really remember what I was.
16:48
Sophie: Oh, my first business that I started when I moved to Canada, I had a blog.
16:53
Sophie: It was a nutrition-related blog, and I would write about you know health-related things, nutrition-related things.
16:59
Sophie: I really enjoyed writing that, even though no one was reading it because I didn't know how to actually make it a business.
17:05
Sophie: And so I took that blog and I turned it into a portfolio that then allowed me to get paying writing opportunities.
17:14
Sophie: But I didn't really see myself as a writer until some of the people around me started pointing it out and saying, You're always writing and your writing is really good.
17:24
Sophie: Like they would peer over my shoulder and look in my notebooks and things and say, Wow, that's really good.
17:29
Sophie: And I'd be like, What are you talking about?
17:31
Sophie: But you know, eventually I realized that no, I can do this professionally, and just because we're naturally good at something and it's easy for us doesn't mean that we can't get paid to do that.
17:41
Cassandra: Right.
17:42
Sophie: So it just kind of unlocked this whole avenue that I just couldn't stop going down.
17:47
Cassandra: Wow, that's incredible.
17:49
Cassandra: Uh so individuals paid you for blogs, they paid you for writing about nutrition, healthy.
17:57
Cassandra: Well, so because I want my listeners to understand because a lot of them like to write too.
18:02
Cassandra: And they're like, So I don't how am I gonna get paid?
18:05
Cassandra: I didn't write a book yet, you know.
18:07
Cassandra: So, how how did that happen?
18:09
Sophie: Yeah, good question.
18:10
Sophie: So initially I was writing for my own blogs, so that meant that the only people reading it were the people that I was sending it to, and I wasn't getting paid for that, right?
18:20
Sophie: But I was doing it to kind of find my voice and build some confidence and build some skill set.
18:25
Sophie: Then I realized that companies will pay for good writers, so I chose to niche in the nutrition realm because that was where my education was.
18:36
Sophie: The first company I ever worked for was an education company, so they were actually training nutritionists like me on how to um grow their nutrition businesses, and so there was training on very specific medical things that would help them expand their knowledge base, they would get a certification.
18:55
Sophie: So I started building, so I offered to help them with their blog at first, but then I did a test project for them and they said, Yeah, you're you're pretty good at this.
19:06
Sophie: We think we can give you a little bit of training and you can come and do more stuff for us.
19:10
Sophie: So then I started building out the training courses that they were selling and on an hourly rate, doing that.
19:18
Sophie: I kept asking them to pay me more because I knew that they were making tons of money off of what I was creating, and they kept saying no.
19:27
Sophie: So then when I moved to Canada, I realized that okay, well, now I have this whole new like, you know, all these new companies, like medical companies, health tech companies, you know, I'm gonna need writers too.
19:42
Sophie: They probably have much bigger budgets than this small company in the UK who does education stuff.
19:47
Sophie: So then I started to talk to people in the medical industry, and I realized that all these big pharmaceutical companies, biotech companies, they're getting millions of dollars of funding, and they need good communications so that people know that their products and services exist and so that people are educated about health and medicine and well-being.
20:07
Sophie: So I started to create a brand around myself being a medical writer, which is a whole industry I didn't even know existed.
20:17
Sophie: Wow.
20:17
Sophie: And I started at $100 an hour, and then I went up from there.
20:23
Sophie: So as you can see, my business built out like very quickly.
20:27
Sophie: I didn't need to have that many clients to be able to pay for everything I needed to do as a solo person in Canada without any family or any savings or anything.
20:39
Sophie: And so then people who'd been in medical communications for 15, 20 years were asking me how you earning all this money, how are you getting all this client, these clients?
20:49
Sophie: Like we are struggling to get work and we are not charging that much.
20:53
Sophie: So then I started mentoring them and realizing, okay, there's something in this, and that's where the coaching came in.
21:00
Sophie: So actually, all the people I work with now at ProSology are brand new to business and they've never monetized their writing before.
21:09
Sophie: They don't know the medical communications industry.
21:11
Sophie: And my job is to help them like really leverage the background that they have and their skills that they already naturally have, and show them how to monetize that to build the type of lifestyle that gives them the freedom that they want.
21:27
Cassandra: Awesome.
21:28
Cassandra: That is incredible.
21:30
Cassandra: Okay, so you went to school, you you got you were educated, I would say, uh, as a nutritionist or dietitian or any way, right?
21:39
Cassandra: So you use what you had and leveraged that in order to number one, to serve.
21:47
Cassandra: It sounds like you were serving individuals, in addition to monetizing this so that you could survive and you know, um, to so you can thrive.
21:56
Cassandra: I don't want to say survive, so you could so you can thrive.
21:59
Cassandra: Um now talking to you it you didn't always have it all together.
22:07
Cassandra: Okay, we know that the background, like I'm leaving, I'm doing this.
22:11
Cassandra: Now, I want to talk a little bit about barriers or limiting beliefs because it sounds like to me you didn't really have any, but I bet you didn't.
22:22
Cassandra: You know, like what, like, yeah, like what were some of the beliefs that you were confronted with prior to moving forward with this?
22:30
Cassandra: Yeah,
22:31
Sophie: well, so many.
22:32
Sophie: I mean, first of all, I moved to Canada with my boyfriend.
22:37
Sophie: So in the back of my mind, I was thinking, well, he can support me financially and he can support me emotionally and physically and in ways.
22:45
Sophie: And so when I got to Canada and I started trying to build my first business in nutrition, I realized that I didn't have any confidence in my own abilities to take care of myself.
22:59
Sophie: I've never done that before.
23:00
Sophie: I'd actually never been on my own.
23:03
Sophie: I had never supported myself.
23:05
Sophie: So I was extremely codependent on him and did not know how to make decisions on my own.
23:11
Sophie: I wouldn't even go to the grocery store on my own because I felt afraid of like messing it up, doing it wrong because I'd been criticized so much growing up.
23:21
Sophie: And I believed that I wasn't good enough at anything.
23:24
Sophie: And so I would just hide away for days at a time.
23:27
Sophie: And I was too afraid to check my emails or leave the house or do anything on my own.
23:33
Sophie: It was extreme.
23:35
Sophie: Like the anxiety was very extreme.
23:37
Sophie: I had pretty bad depression as well.
23:40
Sophie: Um around that time because I didn't have, I didn't feel like I had any value in myself.
23:47
Sophie: And that was also a big reason why I left that relationship because he gave me everything that I needed, but it prevented me from having a sense of self-worth.
23:57
Sophie: And every time I tried to do something for myself and make my own money and make my own decisions, he would tell me, Oh, it's okay, you don't need to do that.
24:06
Sophie: I'm gonna take care of you.
24:07
Sophie: And I realized that that was never gonna end well.
24:11
Sophie: Um, I was in that dynamic.
24:14
Sophie: So leaving that relationship was just like opening the biggest can of worms I have ever opened in my life because suddenly I was alone and I didn't know how to be alone.
24:26
Sophie: I didn't know who I was without him, I didn't really know how to make decisions.
24:31
Sophie: I had no idea how I was gonna make money or how I was gonna support myself, and just that situation alone was uh incredibly difficult.
24:43
Sophie: And I did have a little bit of support and help um uh around that time.
24:48
Sophie: I had some initial coaching um from like when I was still in that relationship, and um she worked with me a lot on my sense of self, my confidence in myself, and letting go of the guilt that I had around leaving that relationship because I felt so bad that you know he didn't want it to end that we loved each other and he didn't really understand why I was doing that, but I was doing it for me and so I had to let go of that guilt and even the guilt around leaving my family and just moving to a new place.
25:23
Sophie: I chose not to have contact with them because they were never a good influence on me, and so I was very alone.
25:30
Sophie: Um I was self-sabotaging a lot.
25:35
Sophie: Um, I would get in my own way all the time because I felt like I didn't really deserve to be happy or have a good life, and so it wasn't until I really started to work on myself and see myself as someone who deserved happiness and good things in life.
25:54
Cassandra: Beautiful.
25:58
Sophie: I don't think we can really serve others if we can't serve ourselves first.
26:03
Cassandra: Oh wow, that that is a beautiful, beautiful story.
26:07
Cassandra: And so, because at first, you know, I was gonna say, well, how did you overcome all of that?
26:14
Cassandra: Like, I'm like, I have listeners that are perfectionists, but they're not, they want to be everything has to be like this, they're doubting.
26:22
Cassandra: Um, some of them are have have been depressed, have anxiety, um, just people all all of that.
26:31
Cassandra: Um tell them how can they let me share something about Sophie for a minute.
26:41
Cassandra: If I'm if I I think I'm correct, number one, I think in the beginning, I said you're very resilient, right?
26:48
Cassandra: You don't give up.
26:49
Cassandra: And you came caught at me because you saw something in my podcast that you could bring value to, right?
27:00
Cassandra: It was like, okay, I understand this podcast.
27:03
Cassandra: I think we can have a conversation about this, and and I can bring some things to her listeners.
27:08
Cassandra: And then, if I'm not mistaken, you know, I'm very busy with podcasting.
27:12
Cassandra: And I think I said I don't really have anything available.
27:14
Cassandra: Wasn't that you?
27:15
Cassandra: I said, I don't have anything available until I think September or something like that.
27:19
Cassandra: And boy, you came right back.
27:21
Cassandra: You was like, Well, look, you said, Well, what about you?
27:25
Cassandra: So, in other words, you kept going, you did not stop.
27:28
Cassandra: I'm like, oh my gosh, this girl is not gonna give up.
27:32
Cassandra: And that was a quality in you that I admire because you were resilient, and based on your you made up your mind, your belief, I'm going to be something, I'm gonna be an entrepreneur.
27:45
Cassandra: You just had that fire that I am, I believe, and it kind of started manifesting.
27:52
Cassandra: And I just kind of you want you to share with my listeners what other qualities did you have to get to where you are because it's not easy, life's not easy.
28:04
Cassandra: Share that with them.
28:06
Sophie: Yeah, thank you for saying that.
28:09
Sophie: Um, yeah, resiliency, definitely.
28:13
Sophie: Um, determination, yes.
28:16
Sophie: Um, self-awareness is a big one because you have to know whether you're actually in alignment or not.
28:24
Sophie: You have to know if something is right for you or wrong for you, and therefore make decisions based on that.
28:31
Sophie: Um, I think a big part of it is asking for help.
28:34
Sophie: We can't do it all alone.
28:36
Sophie: We do need to get whatever that might look like.
28:39
Sophie: So I did get a lot of support with my mental health and also with entrepreneurship because I was new, I didn't know what I was doing.
28:47
Sophie: A lot of it is just experimentation.
28:49
Sophie: And so, yes, there's resilience, but you also need to learn and get the training and get the support and get the encouragement that you can do it.
28:58
Sophie: I think a big part of it is talking to other people who are already doing the thing that you want to do, to normalize that, because in our minds it just seems so crazy to think that like, how could we change things so quickly?
29:12
Sophie: But when you see people doing it every day, you're like, oh yeah, of course I can do that.
29:16
Sophie: Like right now, I can do that.
29:18
Sophie: So, you know, you have to kind of challenge those limiting beliefs that come up and realize that there's an alternative belief that is also true.
29:27
Sophie: I'm just not looking at it yet.
29:28
Sophie: So that be I think that journaling is a great tool as well.
29:35
Sophie: I'm just always doing that and finding systems that allow you to track your alignment.
29:41
Sophie: Um, I would have specific core values that I would basically rate myself against from one to ten, and I would see immediately, oh, okay, it's a three out of ten on the relationships uh scale.
29:56
Sophie: So I really got to put some attention into that because you know, what I said to that person or the way that I left that conversation wasn't good and it's bothering me.
30:07
Sophie: So I'm gonna put more effort into my relationships.
30:10
Sophie: So I would assess against my core values whether I was living in alignment or not.
30:15
Sophie: And then that told me why something fell off, what was actually causing that, and how I could cause correct.
30:24
Cassandra: Okay, core values.
30:25
Cassandra: And I I I talked about that, like living your best life and you know, um, working on, you know, becoming well not living in a way that you're happy and uh authentic and fulfill, however, you have to align your values with that.
30:41
Cassandra: Um, like core values, just name a few of your core values and how and and because you said you rated them.
30:51
Cassandra: And if if if if because it's your core and you looked at this and said, I'm really not there.
30:57
Cassandra: And and you okay, I'm gonna do something about it.
31:00
Cassandra: So name some of those values that may help my listeners move forward and get unstuck.
31:07
Sophie: Yeah.
31:07
Sophie: So one of mine is authenticity.
31:10
Sophie: I have to be my true self.
31:13
Sophie: I'm not playing any games, I'm not wearing any masks, that's just not what I do.
31:18
Sophie: Um, so if I find myself in a situation where I feel like I had to pretend to get an outcome that I wanted, I'm like, oh, that's why I feel really off.
31:27
Sophie: I'm not gonna do that again.
31:29
Sophie: So, how could I approach that in a more authentic way?
31:32
Sophie: Um, one of them is collaboration.
31:34
Sophie: So if I'm working on a project by myself and I'm not getting anywhere, then I think, well, why don't I just bring in someone who I can do this with?
31:43
Sophie: It's gonna be way more fun.
31:45
Sophie: We're both gonna bring different skill sets and abilities, and it's probably gonna have a better outcome.
31:51
Sophie: And so it reminds me that yeah, that's something I value.
31:54
Sophie: Um, gosh, uh, there are so many.
31:58
Sophie: Kindness and and really showing empathy for people is a core value.
32:05
Sophie: I believe that we can treat each other with respect and that that goes a really long way.
32:10
Sophie: And I've actually heard from a lot of the students that I have in my my um community that that was one of the reasons why they chose to work with me and not another coach, because I really took the time to understand what they were facing and empathize with them about how they were feeling and the difficulties they were going through.
32:31
Sophie: And instead of just saying, Oh, you need to do this, this, and that.
32:34
Sophie: It's not really about the tactics.
32:37
Sophie: We have to look at the whole person and how they're navigating life and how they feel and if they have the support that they need, as well as the tactical things.
32:47
Sophie: So I would say those are the main ones.
32:50
Sophie: Um, yeah, okay.
32:57
Cassandra: Yeah, exactly.
32:59
Cassandra: Yeah, and I like what you said because all we want is to be heard and seen.
33:04
Cassandra: You know what I mean?
33:06
Cassandra: Listen to, like you see me, you hear me, you you can kind of understand.
33:10
Cassandra: And I also think a lot of times we go through a lot of things, not just for us, but for others.
33:17
Cassandra: It will enable us to be humble and get to understand and take the time to listen and and all of that.
33:23
Cassandra: So I think that that is wonderful.
33:25
Cassandra: Now, one of the things you said, um, we struggle to trust ourselves when we know something's wrong.
33:37
Cassandra: Unpack that because my listeners, these are individuals that are wanting to live their best life on their terms.
33:44
Cassandra: They they they definitely want to uh live in a way that they're happy and authentic and and uh fulfilled.
33:54
Cassandra: So if they're not trusting themselves to do that, why are they struggling?
34:01
Sophie: Well, I recently hosted a 90-minute panel discussion on self-dressing specifically because it is such a huge aspect of living in alignment.
34:13
Sophie: Gosh, it was a really big topic, and we got into loads of different subsets of it.
34:21
Sophie: I think that ultimately many of us, most of us, grow up believing that we're gonna be saved by someone at some point, or someone's just gonna come along and give us something that makes everything better or worthwhile, and it just doesn't happen.
34:38
Sophie: Um, sometimes it's in the context of a relationship where you think, oh, I'm gonna have a husband or a wife, and then I'm gonna feel complete.
34:47
Sophie: Yeah, but it might not actually feel that way.
34:51
Sophie: Um you think, oh, I'm gonna make a certain amount of money and then I'm gonna feel complete, but it might not actually feel that way.
34:58
Sophie: Um, I know when I published my book, um Be the Person, I didn't really feel anything.
35:05
Sophie: Like I I had a nice launch party with people I cared about and some of the people in the book, and they celebrated with me, and that was great.
35:13
Sophie: I sold a bunch of copies, and I was like, okay, well, I did that.
35:18
Sophie: And it just didn't feel that great, if I'm honest.
35:22
Sophie: And I would.
35:24
Sophie: And so I think that you know, everything that we do is giving us information about what is and isn't aligned for us.
35:32
Sophie: And I think that there's different reasons for doing the exact same thing.
35:37
Sophie: Like one person could go to school to get a certificate to get a specific job that they want, another person could go to school for networking with the right people in their industry, another person could go just because they love learning and they don't give a rap about the certificate, you know.
35:52
Sophie: So we can't compare ourselves to others, and so therefore, we're the only ones who can make decisions about our lives because we're the only ones who actually know ourselves the best.
36:02
Sophie: It goes hand in hand with the self-awareness because if we don't really know ourselves, how can we make those decisions and be confident that we're making good decisions?
36:10
Sophie: And so sometimes I'll fast forward and I'll say, okay, tomorrow, if I make X decision, how am I going to feel tomorrow about myself?
36:19
Sophie: If I make this decision, how will I feel about myself tomorrow?
36:22
Sophie: And it's pretty evident from that that oh, something in the moment might be easier because you're pleasing someone else, or you don't have as much conflict or something to deal with, but then the next day you have to live with yourself.
36:36
Sophie: And if your relationship with yourself is strained, you can't build anything, especially not anything sustainable, because you're showing up as yourself every day.
36:47
Sophie: And so I think that there's a lot of success that happens at the expense of ourselves.
36:55
Sophie: There's a lot of self-betrayal that we do because we think it's for the greater good, and it's actually ruining any real chance of success that we could have.
37:05
Cassandra: Yeah.
37:06
Cassandra: Wow, that's a great, it's like know thyself, like trust yourself.
37:11
Cassandra: Yeah, stop comparing yourself.
37:14
Cassandra: Um, understand what your values are, you you you journal, you um, you get the support.
37:20
Cassandra: Nobody's an island, you know.
37:23
Cassandra: You you you can't do this alone, and you recognize that you you have a community, you have students, and and all of that.
37:31
Cassandra: And I you are very wise, just so you'll know, and I think that's great.
37:37
Cassandra: And I am proud of you because you are doing what it is that you've always believed you would do.
37:47
Cassandra: And the belief system is so so powerful, and even your candor about okay, be the person, yeah, I wrote the book, okay.
37:56
Cassandra: Now what?
37:56
Cassandra: You know, like it wasn't really, it was okay.
37:58
Cassandra: I did I did the book, you know, and and your resiliency.
38:02
Cassandra: And I I think that's wonderful.
38:04
Cassandra: And I I know that many of my listeners are going to listen to this podcast over and over and over again because you have a lot of nuggets.
38:13
Cassandra: Uh, you've been through a lot, uh, you want a lot, you believe a lot.
38:18
Cassandra: Um, and I I just you know wish you much success as I do all my listeners because I do this as a service to help others to get to that good place like you are right now.
38:31
Cassandra: Not that you're staying there, but you have better times than you used to, you know.
38:35
Cassandra: Um, is there anything that you'd like to leave my listeners with, or either share with them how they can contact you, locate you, find you?
38:48
Sophie: Yeah.
38:49
Sophie: Um, so if you are interested in writing professionally, especially if you have any kind of health background, then my company is prospology.
39:00
Sophie: Um so you can go to our website, you can email me, Sophie at prospology.com.
39:06
Sophie: Uh, you can find me on LinkedIn.
39:08
Sophie: I'm very active on LinkedIn.
39:10
Sophie: Um, we have a YouTube channel as well.
39:12
Sophie: Um, we host events every week um about entrepreneurship, about mindset, beliefs, uh, money, like all the things that we've been talking about.
39:22
Sophie: Um, we do virtually so anyone can attend.
39:26
Sophie: Um and yeah, I mean, just contact me and share what resonated with you and we can have a chat because you never know what might come out of it.
39:37
Cassandra: That's beautiful.
39:37
Cassandra: Something else I've noticed, my listeners, and so forth.
39:40
Cassandra: You invest in yourself.
39:41
Cassandra: That's valuable.
39:42
Cassandra: You know, we we buy the clothes, the material things, but what about you?
39:46
Cassandra: You know, what about you growing?
39:49
Cassandra: Yeah.
39:50
Sophie: Yeah, that's been such a game changer for me.
39:52
Sophie: I wouldn't have made any real headway without the coaches that I've worked with over the years, and it always you always make back the investment as long as that person is aligned with you and you can see something in them that you are drawn to, then I think follow that instinct, right?
40:17
Cassandra: Right.
40:17
Cassandra: Well, listeners and selfie, thank you so so much.
40:21
Cassandra: Um, and my listeners, I'm gonna ask you this question, like I usually do in the beginning of my podcast.
40:31
Cassandra: Is your way in your way from living your best life on your terms?
40:38
Cassandra: And remember what I mean by best life.
40:40
Cassandra: It's not not a cliche, just living in a way that maximizes your happiness, your authenticity, and your fulfillment, and making sure that is aligned with your values, well being, and pursuing as opposed to just dreaming.
40:55
Cassandra: Again, Sophie, thank you so much.
40:57
Cassandra: God bless you, God bless my listeners, and I'll like I say, bye for now.
41:02
Sophie: Thanks, Cassandra.
41:03
Sophie: Bye, everyone.