Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #854 NY Times Bestseller Daniel Pink's Parenting Hacks

Transcript

#854 NY Times Bestseller Daniel Pink's Parenting Hacks · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast. It's the podcast for the
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  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers. Now Gooday. This
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  Speaker 1: is doctor Justin Colson, the founder of Happy Families dot com,
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  Speaker 1: dot au dades six, daughter's husband to one wife, and
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  Speaker 1: the parenting expert and co host on chan Lyne's Parental Guidance.
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  Speaker 1: Also the host of this podcast, that Happy Families Podcast.
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  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening and allowing me into
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  Speaker 1: your life to hopefully be useful in making your family happier.
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  Speaker 1: Today a lightning round with one of the most famous
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  Speaker 1: authors in the world, Daniel H. Pink. Dan Pink is
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  Speaker 1: the author of five New York Times bestsellers, including his
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  Speaker 1: latest book, which I absolutely love, The Power of Regret,
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  Speaker 1: and my other favorite of Dan's is Drive. Dan has
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  Speaker 1: won a billion awards, had his books translated into a
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  Speaker 1: million langok forty two languages, and has sold literally millions
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  Speaker 1: of copies of his books around the world. He lives
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  Speaker 1: in Washington, d C. With his family, and Dan joins
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  Speaker 1: me for a lightning round. I'd like to have you
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  Speaker 1: hit Dan. You know the rules, quick, simple, snappy answers,
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  Speaker 1: a whole bunch of questions, all right, let's talk about it.
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  Speaker 2: I'm a little I approach this with some I fear
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  Speaker 2: I could have some regrets about agreeing to do this.
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  Speaker 1: But later on, tell me how many kids you have
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  Speaker 1: and how old they are?
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  Speaker 3: I have three kids.
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  Speaker 2: I have a nineteen year old, a twenty three year old,
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  Speaker 2: and a twenty six year old.
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  Speaker 1: And do you have a favorite child? Dan?
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  Speaker 2: I do not.
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  Speaker 1: Are you saying that because you have to say that
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  Speaker 1: or is it really true?
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  Speaker 3: No?
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  Speaker 2: I truly do not. It reminds me a little bit
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  Speaker 2: of people ask me whether I have a favorite book,
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  Speaker 2: and I try to explain that I don't have a
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  Speaker 2: favorite book of mine. I just because I love all
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  Speaker 2: my books and the way I love all my children. Okay,
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  Speaker 2: well that was my next question. So that's that's counted. Okay, great,
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  Speaker 2: so we got so so this is a real, real
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  Speaker 2: rapid fire because'm knocking up questions for the one answer
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  Speaker 2: love it.
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  Speaker 1: Next question, who do you love most? And I think
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  Speaker 1: we can draw on some science here. Who do you
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  Speaker 1: love most? Your your wife or your kids?
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  Speaker 3: Yes? Oh, very good.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know birth kids.
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  Speaker 2: Whatever for me, whatever people want. I don't think there
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  Speaker 2: is an ideal number for some people. It's like like
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  Speaker 2: crazy people like you, it's a it's a half dozen
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  Speaker 2: for a sensible person like me, it's three for many
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  Speaker 2: sensible people at zero.
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  Speaker 1: Favorite podcast, Dan, all podcasts. If you can't narrow out
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  Speaker 1: down to.
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  Speaker 2: One besides this one, I would say I like the
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  Speaker 2: Happiness Lab by Lori Santos.
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  Speaker 3: I like Hidden Brain with chankraved Antem.
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  Speaker 2: And I'm a big fan of something called Autumn au
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  Speaker 2: d M, which is an which is audio articles from magazines.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna look that one up. The other two
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  Speaker 1: are on my list every week. I love listening to
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  Speaker 1: them as well. You've done a lot of research in
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  Speaker 1: the psychological sciences. How do you write yourself as a
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  Speaker 1: parent average?
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  Speaker 2: I think, I'm I think, i'm I think I'm in
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  Speaker 2: the median. I think that half the world is better
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  Speaker 2: than me, and half the world is beneath me.
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  Speaker 1: Dan, what's something absolutely great that your parents did that
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  Speaker 1: you've tried to continue in your dating.
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  Speaker 3: That I tried to continue.
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  Speaker 2: That's interesting because the best thing my parents did was
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  Speaker 2: let me go to the library, and so.
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  Speaker 3: I lived.
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  Speaker 2: I lived in a community where that had a very
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  Speaker 2: robust public library system, fortunately for me, and that was
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  Speaker 2: that was a transformative part of my childhood. Now and
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  Speaker 2: I think what I've done with with our kids is
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  Speaker 2: sort of let them try to let them explore. It
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  Speaker 2: doesn't necessarily mean in a public library, because we're now
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  Speaker 2: in the world of the internet, but but but leave
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  Speaker 2: them alone and let them explore whatever strikes their fancy
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  Speaker 2: at a particular moment in their childhood.
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  Speaker 1: One of the disadvantages of a lightning round is sometimes
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  Speaker 1: I really want to dig and poke in praud, but
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  Speaker 1: I'm meant to lay that bag because it's such a
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  Speaker 1: wonderful answer, a fun one. Who's the better parent you
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  Speaker 1: or your wife?
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  Speaker 3: Wife? Not even close?
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  Speaker 1: And what's the hardest thing about being a parent?
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  Speaker 2: Seeing your kids struggle even though you know the struggle
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  Speaker 2: is ultimately going to be good for them.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is hard. That is hard. Imagine you could
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  Speaker 1: spend an hour with your children at any age of
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  Speaker 1: their life.
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  Speaker 2: Dan.
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  Speaker 1: You could go back and hold them as newborns for
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  Speaker 1: an hour, or you could have them as fifty year
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  Speaker 1: olds or anything in between. What age would you choose
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  Speaker 1: to spend an hour with your kids?
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  Speaker 2: And why?
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  Speaker 3: It's a great question.
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  Speaker 2: I would say probably, first of all, I would take
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  Speaker 2: if that offer is on the table, I'll take any
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  Speaker 2: I'll take any age in the past. Okay, So I'm
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  Speaker 2: not even going to negotiate that one if that's if
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  Speaker 2: that's a real possibility. But yeah, if you if you
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  Speaker 2: push me to the wall, I would say about age
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  Speaker 2: four or five for all of my kids, because around
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  Speaker 2: age four or five kids are able to really express
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  Speaker 2: themselves and are just so incredibly and beautifully unabashed. So
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  Speaker 2: I would like to I would like to see that, Dan,
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  Speaker 2: I've asked this question of so many people. That's my
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  Speaker 2: favorite answer in both cases. But I love that you
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  Speaker 2: said any age. I just that's melted my heart. You've
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  Speaker 2: become my favorite interviewee. Ever, I'm sorry to hear that.
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  Speaker 2: What's the ultimate joy for you as a parent.
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  Speaker 3: Seeing your kids become independent?
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  Speaker 1: What's the correct age for kids to have a cell phone?
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  Speaker 1: I get this question all the time, draws me crazy.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, it's an interesting question because when my kids
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  Speaker 2: were kids, cell phones were evolved over time. So I
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  Speaker 2: think we had in our house very different answers for
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  Speaker 2: different kids, partly because of what self how important cell
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  Speaker 2: phones were. So I'll make up an I'll make up
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  Speaker 2: a number I'll make up a number ten. You got
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  Speaker 2: to have double digits before you get a cell phone.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, you're the lowest of everyone I've ever interviewed.
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  Speaker 3: Dan.
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  Speaker 1: My estimation of your Yeah, my estimation has just dropped
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  Speaker 1: off you again. I'm so sorry. What are you reading
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  Speaker 1: right now?
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  Speaker 3: What am I reading right now?
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  Speaker 1: I am you know what?
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  Speaker 3: Curiously enough, it's about kids.
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  Speaker 2: I'm just I mean literally, it's the galleys of a
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  Speaker 2: book coming out next year called a Minor Revolution. It's
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  Speaker 2: by a professor here in the United States. It's about
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  Speaker 2: sort of how we should reorient public policy toward prioritizing kids.
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  Speaker 2: That what we don't do enough in our public policy,
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  Speaker 2: especially here in the States, put kids at the center
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  Speaker 2: of our public policy. And if we do that over time,
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  Speaker 2: that takes care of all these other kinds of problems
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  Speaker 2: that we're trying to solve.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I say it all the time. Society is not
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  Speaker 1: kid friendly. What's your children now that they're older? What's
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  Speaker 1: your children's favorite thing to do with you?
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  Speaker 3: Depends on the kid.
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  Speaker 2: I think that our favorite thing as a family, all
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  Speaker 2: five of us, is is just to eat together. We
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  Speaker 2: sometimes have the funniest conversations where we just gathered around eating,
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  Speaker 2: you know, not you know, not like going on some
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  Speaker 2: fancification or anything like that, but just simply gathering around
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  Speaker 2: the table and seeing what crazy stuff comes up.
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  Speaker 1: When you think about what's in the future, what are
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  Speaker 1: you looking most forward to as a parent, Dan.
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  Speaker 3: You know it's weird.
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  Speaker 2: I guess some of what I'm looking forward to is
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  Speaker 2: being a spectator, cheering on the sidelines as I watch
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  Speaker 2: our kids find their path.
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  Speaker 1: If you could go back to you as a young dad,
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  Speaker 1: I mean, you've written a book called The Power of Regrets,
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  Speaker 1: so this is a young dad. Yeah, this is the
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  Speaker 1: perfect question for you. Go back to you as a
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  Speaker 1: young dad. You're having one of those really tough moments
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  Speaker 1: you're experienced. You've got these kids running around, you don't
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  Speaker 1: know what to do. What advice would you give yourself?
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  Speaker 3: Freak out way less. Most of this stuff doesn't matter.
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  Speaker 2: Don't get so blown out of proportion about like small
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  Speaker 2: things about something spilling or someone not being ready or
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  Speaker 2: that kind of stuff. That kind of stuff doesn't matter.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, great stuff. And the last question of our lightning round,
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  Speaker 1: Daniel Pink, what's been your biggest win as a dad that.
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  Speaker 2: My kids still talk to me even though they're moving
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  Speaker 2: on in their adult lives.
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  Speaker 1: I kind of want to say that's a really low bar.
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  Speaker 1: But at the same time, having a daughter who's moved
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  Speaker 1: out and married, I actually get what you mean there.
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  Speaker 1: There's something so delightful about when they come back right
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  Speaker 1: that they want to come back right. I agree with that,
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  Speaker 1: Dan Pink, thanks so much for joining on A Happy
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  Speaker 1: Family's lightning Round.
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  Speaker 3: What a pleasure I enjoyed it.
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  Speaker 1: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Roland from
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  Speaker 1: Bridge Media, and Craig Bruce is our executive producer. If
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  Speaker 1: you want more information about making your family happy about
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  Speaker 1: visit us at happy families dot com dot you, or
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  Speaker 1: check out our Facebook page Doctor Justin Colson's Happy Families