Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / When you treat a narcissist the same way they treat you

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When you treat a narcissist the same way they treat you · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on? Beautiful folks, beautiful
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  people. Today we're going to be talking
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  about how do narcissists feel when you treat them the exact
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  same way that they treat you, when you match their energy,
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  when you give them a taste of their own medicine.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  The Narcissist Code. Boom, Welcome back, folks.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Yes, yo, they let's keep it hot. Let's keep it hot and ready.
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  Like a Little Caesar's Pizza, like I always say, right?
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  Like they, yo, if you treat a narcissist the same way that
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  they treat you, they're not going to like it.
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  They're absolutely going to hate it.
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  They're absolutely going, most of them are absolutely going to
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  hate it and absolutely try to find a way to play the victim.
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  They are, they are, they are. They hate it.
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  The, the way I describe it is, is like, it's like this job.
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  Imagine giving a kid some medicine, right?
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  You remember the kid. No, no airplanes, the the little
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  spoon spoon airplanes like open up here comes the little
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  airplane. And then the kids like yay, I'm
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  about to get something delicious coming in for a landing and your
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  kid be mad as hell because it's it's try a minic or like diamond
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  tap, unflavored diamond tap or something like that.
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  That's how it is with narcissistic people.
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  Once you match their energy, right, once you give them a
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  taste of everything, give them a taste of their own medicine,
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  This is what typically happens. This is how it goes.
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  This is how the mind of a narcissistic person works.
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  Like they do not like it. I promise you.
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  Like, and this is what I tell people, a lot of people ask me
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  like, how do I get back at them, Lee?
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  How do I make them hurt? How do I make them feel pain?
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  How do I make them angry like they make me?
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  How do I do this? How do I do it?
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  And I tell them, like, look, just do the exact same thing to
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  them that they're doing to you. I know it.
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  And this is what gets a lot of people.
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  It might not be in your nature to do that, right?
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  It might not be part of your nature to act like this or to do
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  something that they doing to you, which is why, like, yeah,
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  if it's not part of your nature, of course, don't step outside of
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  who you are to go back and forth with them.
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  A lot of times you can just find a way to try to exit the
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  relationship dynamic, right? But because you don't want to
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  get like if they're cheating on, like it depends on what you're
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  trying to match, right? If they're cheating on you and
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  you are not a cheater, just find a way to exit the relationship
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  dynamic as opposed to cheating back because that can make you
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  just yeah, I'm here. People tell the story.
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  But like where the narcissist would cheat on them, that
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  narcissistic partner was cheated on them.
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  They cheated back and got pregnant or got somebody else
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  pregnant. And it's just like it backfired
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  on me. Now I look like the bad guy
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  because I'm pregnant by somebody else or I had a baby with
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  somebody else, I guess somebody else pregnant.
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  Now I look like the bad guy. And my narcissistic partner gets
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  to run around playing the victim.
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  And I can't prove that they were cheating on me, but they have
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  absolute proof that I cheated on them because I have a baby on
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  the way. It's wild.
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  So you have, like I said, if you're stepping outside of your
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  comfort zone of who you are in order to try to get back at
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  them, that's something that you have to consider right there.
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  That's something you have to like, man.
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  Hell, now, if it's not you, it's not you.
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  If it's not part of your personality type, you don't have
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  to do it, right? If it's not part of who you are,
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  you absolutely do not have to do it.
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  If it's not part of your, your, if it's not part of your general
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  process, you're part of your part of your identity.
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  You don't have to match their energy.
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  You don't have to do yeah, yeah. You don't have to treat them the
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  same way they treat you if it's not part of who you are already.
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  So I say that to say this as you're moving forward, yes,
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  that's an option. Like, yeah, I'm, I'm going to
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  get it. Like they keep doing the same
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  thing to me. They keep lying to me, they keep
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  manipulating me. They keep hiding my keys and
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  things like that. They keep replacing stuff like
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  drinking all, drinking up everything and eating
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  everything. That right there.
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  You see what I'm saying? You can match the energy on
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  that. If they keep eating your
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  Doritos, eat their damn Doritos, eat their snacks.
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  Of course, use discretion, right?
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  Because I said when you match their energy, they don't like
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  it. So sometimes if you match their
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  energy and they don't like it, they'll put their hands on you,
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  right? They'll harm you'll, they'll
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  find a way to bring harm to you. So if they're, if you're doing
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  something that they don't like or you something like something
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  goes out like that, you see what I'm saying?
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  This is the type of stuff you have to get prepared for.
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  You have to get ready for. This is how narcissist minds
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  work. That's what I'm telling you.
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  So if you're dealing with an abuser or a manipulator, a
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  highly narcissistic person, they're going to do this type of
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  stuff. They just are.
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  This is how their minds work. This is how they're going to go
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  about doing things because they don't like, they don't
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  narcissist, right? Never think that they're going
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  to face the face the consequences of their own
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  actions. They don't ever think that
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  you're going to do anything or you're going to hold them
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  accountable in any way. You know, everything that
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  anything bad is going to happen to them because they feel like
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  they're always in charge. They feel like that they have
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  the power. They feel like that everything
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  that goes on within their life, within their space that they're
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  going to absolutely have control over.
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  So they're going to continue to do the same things over and over
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  and over again because they feel like they benefit from it.
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  Let's keep it hot. Like I said, let's keep it hot
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  and ready. They feel like there's a benefit
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  in it for them to continue to do these types of behaviors.
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  They feel like it's a benefit in it for them to act the way that
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  they act, to behave the way that they behave.
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  They feel like it's a benefit in it for them to just do the stuff
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  that they've always been doing because this is how the mind
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  works. So I say that to say this right
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  here, like as a diagnosed narcissist, ask somebody with a
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  personality disorder, like I know what I've, I know what I've
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  done wrong, right? But my goal has always been to
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  convince you that you that is not as bad as you make it out to
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  me or that you have done worse. That's what most of us will do
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  right there. Y'all, most of them will just
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  make you seem like you've done worse.
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  They'll take me, they'll take you straight out.
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  They'll say, Hey, you done worse.
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  Like, hey, what, what about what you've done?
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  What about what you did? What about how you acted?
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  What about how you behave? What about the stuff that you
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  what about what you put me through?
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  What about the stuff that I've had to get over?
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  It's always the blame game. So that's how you know that
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  they've done wrong, like they said, But what about what you
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  done? That's them admitting fault.
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  They're not even trying to fight against it.
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  If they say what about what you did, they're not even trying to
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  go against it. They're trying.
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  They're literally admitting fault to you right there.
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  They're not even trying to push back on you.
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  They're just telling you that they're deal with they they know
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  that they've done wrong, but you've done wronger.
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  So this what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah.
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  Don't be afraid to match their energy within reason.
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  Again, I'm not telling you. I'll go out here and cheat and
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  do this type of stuff that is going to make you question your
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  own character, make you feel bad later on, right?
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  Don't do that. Do not do that because it'll set
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  you up in the long run because there's so many people out here
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  who go who cheat back and then you feel bad and then you tell
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  your narcissistic partner or ex or whoever it is and then they
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  treat you worse and then you don't leave.
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  They make you feel bad. You stay and you get treated
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  worse after you've matched their energy and they and they keep
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  doing the same things over and over again.
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  So the narcissistic people absolutely do not want you to do
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  the same things to them that they do to you.
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  That's how you know that they're wrong, right?
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  But they'll always look, this is the thing right here.
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  If you do the same thing to them that they do to you, I was if
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  you do the same thing to them that they're doing to you, they
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  will always like let you know that you were wrong.
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  They will always have an excuse as to why what they're doing is
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  not as wrong as you're making out to be.
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  They will always have a reason as to why what's going on with
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  you is not as bad as you, you, you, you, you making this out to
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  be. You've done something wrong
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  here. You're the one that's in the
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  wrong. You did this.
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  You did that. So this is the mentality that so
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  many people face when you're dealing with an abusive,
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  manipulative narcissist. Yeah.
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  I'm just telling you this type of stuff that they would do,
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  They don't care at the end of the day how you feel that
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  they're going to put. They don't care at the end of
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  day how you feel. They are going to do what they
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  feel like is best for them. They're always going to do.
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  They're going to choose what's best for them and what makes
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  them feel the best and what makes them feel like they can be
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  held the least accountable. This is what they're going to
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  do. So as you're progressing
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  forward, as you're moving forward, this is something that
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  you have to consider it within your mind to let you know the
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  narcissistic people do that. Yeah.
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  I'm not saying that they don't care about you because that's
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  the question I get a lot. Do they ever care?
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  I'm not saying that they don't care, but they don't care how
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  you feel at the end of the day, as long as they get some type of
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  benefit out of what they're doing.
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  They don't care how you feel, how you're going to act, how
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  you're going to behave. They did.
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  That type of stuff does not bother them unless you're
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  holding, trying to hold them accountable for what they have
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  done wrong, unless you're trying to get back at them for
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  something that they've done something that they put you
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  through. And I said they're going to keep
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  doing the same behaviors all the time, y'all?
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  They're not going to change their behaviors because you feel
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  bad, but because something like that is going on.
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  They're not going to do that. I promise you.
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  And I know that makes some people mad and you make you, it
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  makes you feel like you don't matter.
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  But the narcissist, the people, that's what I'm saying.
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  Yo, if you have to live with this person, if you can't just
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  leave. If you, you know, there's a
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  battle or something like that, like if this type of stuff keeps
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  happening, like you have to find a way to defend yourself.
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  I know a lot of people preach being passive and things like
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  that. You can be passive, but you
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  don't have to be a punching bag. You don't have to allow them to
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  run over top of you. So sometimes you can't match
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  their energy. And like this isn't like like
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  when I say match their energy or do the same thing to them that
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  they're doing to you. You don't even have to let them
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  know out loud. You could just do it.
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  You could just suddenly do it. You know, if they keep throwing
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  it, like I said, it could backfire on you always.
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  They always know that it could backfire on you, right?
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  Like if they, if they keep taking their clothes and
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  throwing them right beside the hamper or leaving their shoes in
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  the middle of the floor and you and you like, OK, I'm just going
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  to leave their shoes there. OK, I'm going to throw my shoes
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  there to match their energy and maybe they'll clean it up.
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  No, sometimes they can backfire because they'll let that shit
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  pile up on you and you'll be leaving, you'll be living in
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  filth and stuff like that. That'll bother you more than it
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  bothers them. It'll bother them, but they they
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  try to prove a point. So both of y'all are just like
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  this in this ceasefire when you're trying to go back, when
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  you're trying to go back and forth, we'll go clean this shit
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  up. So be very careful in that
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  instance right there, right, Because you just never know how
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  they're going to go or how they're going to do or how
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  they're going to act. So you have to be very, very
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  careful in that space of what you do for your retribution and
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  whatnot. Because like, I'm not preaching
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  revenge, right? I'm preaching defense.
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  Like sometimes you can defeat. Yeah, you you don't have to let
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  these bastards run over top of you.
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  Sometimes it's OK to match their energy.
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  If you get. Yeah, if you're sick and tired
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  of them, like if if you sick and tired of them behaving a certain
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  type of way or treating you in a certain type of way, you can
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  fight back. Hell no.
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  Like you don't have to sit there and take this shit.
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  Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
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  I know people would be like, of course, use discretion, be
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  careful. But you don't have to sit there
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  and take that. Hell no.
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  Match their energy. Give them a taste of their own
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  medicine. They Yeah, they deserve it.
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  Some of these bastards absolutely deserve you matching
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  their energy and treating them the same way that they treat
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  you. Some of them absolutely deserve
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  to have a damn minds rattled a little bit and to be fucked
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  with. Some of them absolutely deserve
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  that. Especially they gaslighting you,
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  hiding your keys or doing weirdo stuff like that.
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  They hide that shit. Make them look hide.
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  They look, hide they stuff and help them look forward.
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  You know what I mean? Do the type of stuff right
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  there, because that's how the mind of a lot of narcissists
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  people work. They don't they never think that
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  they're going to. They never think that they're
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  going, they're going to face any type of retribution.
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  They never think they're going to face any type of
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  accountability. So they feel like they can
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  behave any type of way that they want to.
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  They feel like they can do whatever they want to and all
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  the other stuff. They feel like they can treat
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  you however they want to treat you and get away with it and
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  never face accountability. So your accountability can be
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  little things, right? You might not be able to hold
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  them accountable in a huge way, but your accountability can be a
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  little some little stuff like you playing the same games they
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  play head to head with that. Sometimes it's OK to stand up
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  for yourself. They're not going to like it.
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  They're going to be angry. They're going to be pissed off.
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  But yeah, they yeah, they don't have to.
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  They're making the active choice to treat you a certain type of
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  way, right? They're making the active choice
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  to behave this way and to act this way towards you.
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  This is an active choice because if you bring it up, I guarantee
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  you to tell you that you you're overreacting.
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  You're being too sensitive. Well, well, I, I had, I did mine
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  for a reason. You just being mean, like you're
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  just being mean. You're doing yours on purpose.
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  You're being mean. You didn't think about me when
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  you did this, man, to hell with it, y'all.
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  Anyways, y'all, let's hit that subscribe button, hit that like
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  button, thumbs up, leave a comment and whatnot and there's
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  always this is out peace. I know I put the intro back
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  today. I think about the intro.
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  Peace, what's going on? Beautiful folks.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I truly appreciate it. You have no idea.
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  If you haven't already, hit that subscribe button.
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  You made it this far, you might as well subscribe.
• 13:48
  It really does help the channel y'all.
• 13:50
  It helps me reach more people as well.
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  Also, I have coaching my courses and my support group available
• 13:55
  at www.mentalhillness.net. Thank you so much.
• 13:59
  Make sure you stick around, watch another video or two.
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  I appreciate it. I'm out.