Latest / Jess Ask / Marriage, Ministry, & Marketplace | FT. JD & Dee Fomby’s, and Tommy & Sophia Wilson | EP44

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Marriage, Ministry, & Marketplace | FT. JD & Dee Fomby’s, and Tommy & Sophia Wilson | EP44 · Jess Ask

0:06
Hey, it's your girl, jess You've just entered a safe space for Kingdom
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entrepreneurs and creatives to decompress, have fun, and yeah, you've guessed it
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a safe place to just ask. Before we get into it, be sure
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to subscribe and download the podcast follow me on all platforms at the Jessica S.
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Smith and Invital Praying. Also make sure you DM me your feedback and
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questions so we can keep the conversation going. Now let's get into this week's
0:41
episode. All right, you guys, welcome to Just Ask, the podcast
0:44
where we create a safe space for influencers to decompress, have fun and just
0:51
ask. It's a girl, Jessica as Smith and I'm super super duper excited
0:55
to be here in the building. Does a ray come on a ray ray?
1:00
There's a rape? There's a rape? Dees a rate? Y'all know
1:02
that's my purpose, partner. Listen, we had the link in Birmingham,
1:06
Alabama, and y'all it is lit over here, like y'all we at the
1:12
grand opening. Can somebody say grand, grand, grand the grand opening of
1:19
the Link by none other than my mentors, my spiritual my spiritual covering,
1:26
my spiritual mama, that's them, them pombies. Y'all get it up for
1:32
the pombies. So excited to be here. Man, the phubbies are true
1:40
blessing to a lot of people. But baby, they are true blessing to
1:44
me. Okay, listen, I have a pleasure of just serving them.
1:51
They are authors both because somebody say, both what an ef both both of
1:57
authors, multi business owner, multiple businesses, taxes, construction, they could
2:05
build a whole house at this point at their run. Tiny homes coming up,
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yep, So I mean real estate. I mean that, just just
2:12
ask a question. I bet they know. I bet that's why we just
2:14
asking today. That's why we just asking today. And so we have them
2:17
on the stage, but we also have their spiritual covering, their leadership.
2:24
None other than Tommy and Sophia will say they are also both fall both both
2:38
fall authors, entrepreneurs and strong leaders in the ministry. Y'all give it up
2:45
for the Wilsons, desilad. This is gonna be hell. I feel a
2:53
lot already. So anytime Coach Sophia bout me, I hit that. Y'all.
3:02
We like to have fun. We like to have fun. How y'all
3:05
feeling today? Well, we didn't turn on the mic. We feel great
3:16
listen. Congratulations to you guys on such a successful opening. This has been
3:22
a long time coming, Like for it to be here, tell us put
3:27
us in your world, put us in your worldlife from being able to see
3:30
nothing form into this, like it has to be mind blowing. Man,
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oh man. I was just telling the earlier. I was like, you
3:42
know, when it's crazy how you can believe God so strongly for something and
3:46
you be so devastated just trying to get there in the moment he do it,
3:50
You're just onto the next And I was just like, Lord, I
3:53
don't ever want to forget like where I cried right here, because this wasn't
3:57
like where I did this, And now it's just a constant minded like when
4:00
I walk in and we see what you know, this happening, you know,
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me and Herd. I remember us sitting talking like right there because we
4:08
was trying to figure something out and it was so just like, man,
4:11
what are we even doing? Like couldn't even go to church that night,
4:14
you know, we were just sitting there. We had to pull it up
4:15
on the phone and we was like it was just us so to see this
4:19
and to see what it birthed. I mean for me, it's like,
4:24
Lord, thank you that you gave me the strength to endure everything that we
4:28
had to go through to get here. So good, so give it up.
4:33
What's what y'all don't know is the fun fact, y'all. Fun fact.
4:38
We did the first podcast just as did the first podcast in the podcast
4:43
room with JD. Fumby stuff. Y'all haven't seen that. It was,
4:47
Man, don't them use don't they're doing numbers? Come on, they're doing
4:54
numbers. So much wisdom on that podcast. It was so much wisdom.
4:58
It was I overwhelmed, like sinking in the seat overwhelmed, like it was.
5:02
It was so good. Which I don't know is coach JD is really
5:05
uh a mindset coach, Like he really has the ability to change your mind.
5:13
So even speaking about that, coach JD, I'm gonna give it back
5:16
to you. How how can one when they're they're there, they have the
5:21
aspirations We talked about the difference between dreams and visions. How can one set
5:28
their mind to something doing something grand like this? Wow, that's a great
5:32
question. I think that the biggest thing is, you know, they have
5:39
a saying that say, how do you eat an elephant? It says one
5:42
one bite at a time, And when you really look at it, you
5:45
know, it sounds funny. But I remember when my wife and I were
5:49
feeling overwhelmed with such like we got stuck and it's like, how in the
5:53
world can we do this? And her and I we looked at us.
5:56
She was like, Babe, We're just gonna start with this one room.
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I was like, okay, So I think think that what you have to
6:00
look at is, no matter how grand the dream, find out where is
6:04
the first room you need to go to, and then go to that room
6:09
and just focus on getting that room together, like you know, because there
6:12
was times that it would be depressing to walk around things that were unfinished and
6:16
not knowing how like seeing it so much like, oh my god, look
6:19
at this. And it was times that we even had to learn how to
6:23
try to deal with each other because the threshold for tolerance we' done dealt with
6:27
it. Now we work with each other. Now we It was so much
6:30
it was like man trying to figure that out. So the mindset that we
6:34
had to adjust was the same that we said eating an elephant in one bite
6:39
at a time, but really just whatever. It was one room at a
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time. Once we finished that room, it was like, we just gonna
6:44
sweep this up. Now we move to this and we moved to the next
6:46
place. And I think that whatever vision you have, just making sure that
6:50
you try to start from the end and then work your way backwards. And
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by that time you work your way backwards from the end of that goal,
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you'll find out what that first room is you need to start. That's so
7:00
good. And I also want to add to this, if you experienced many
7:04
failures in your life when you started to do that next thing, it's important
7:11
that you do something that will make you feel successful quickly, because if you
7:15
don't feel that success quickly, then it's going to make you feel as if,
7:20
yes, it's not worth it, or you a failure. So you
7:24
have to make a decision that's going to make you feel successful quickly. So
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we had to transform, you know, a seven thousand square feet and so
7:32
in order for us to feel safely, we said that we're going to start
7:36
with one room and it was the first room that you walk into. So
7:41
we started with a social lab because we said that if we can walk into
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what we deem to be successful, in that moment the other rooms, then
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we knew that we could conquer. So I always just tell people like,
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conquer that one thing that's gonna make you feel because it takes us feeling success.
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Folk. It's different from every person. So if you're writing a book,
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if you want to write a book, you know, maybe you need
8:07
to just create the title first and then now you say, oh, I
8:09
think I can, I think I can, and then what's that next thing?
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So always just start with that first thing so that you can feel successful.
8:16
Y'all? So oily, that's so oily and annoyty and stuff. So
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no, she got to get the mic back because my next question was for
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you, coach d you are a total package like that? Can you say
8:33
that in the mic? Coach that facts? You are definitely a total package.
8:37
You are a wife, you are a mother, you are a businesswoman,
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have been for a long time. So carrying that and making sure everything
8:46
is well kept in the excellence that you would like it to be. How
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does that balance look? How do you manage that? Yeah? So one
8:54
thing that I realize is that you know, the balance means something to each
9:00
person, and every person is not the same. So if I try to
9:03
compare my life to someone who doesn't have maybe the responsibility of managing what I
9:09
have, it'll make me feel like a failure. And so I realize,
9:13
like I have to manage my own road. I have to manage my own
9:18
road because like, for instance, if I look at you and I see
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that you're traveling, you're doing all of this, but you're a single woman,
9:26
you don't have any kids. You know, you work a nine to
9:28
five and your entrepreneurship journeys. But I'm married, I'm full time. So
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I have to make sure that I'm not comparing my life to someone who's not
9:37
living my life. Did y'all hear can you repeat them? Yeah? Yes,
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like I really do. I have to just make sure that I'm not
9:48
comparing my life to someone who's not living my life. And so how do
9:52
I manage this and everything else that we have going on? Because I also
9:56
work with my coach, you know, and my goal is to see my
10:00
coaches multi millionaires and I want to be a part of that. And so
10:05
what I've learned to do is every single day I look at my schedule and
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I say I need to do this, this and that, and I really
10:13
create a to do list, and I use my calendar, I use my
10:16
phone, I use you, I use that at me and Siri. You
10:20
know me, you know like JD. I definitely, yeah, definitely you.
10:37
But I just I just really, here's the thing. I believe in
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my own abilities to do everything well. I truly believe. And people take
10:50
this and they just say it, but it's indoctrinated in me that I can
10:58
do all things through who strengthens me. And there is nothing that I encounter
11:05
that won't be successful. Everything that I literally put my hand to touch that
11:13
it succeeds and it executed. I leave nothing unfinished, even if that means
11:20
so. Because here's the thing, I make even less difficult look easy because
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I'm grace for it. And I don't just rely upon D. I'm around
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here praying like Lord, Okay, now this doesn't look right yet, it
11:35
don't represent you yet? What should we do to this? I really do
11:39
implement God. I really do speak in tongue over my assignments. I speak
11:45
in tongue over my mindset, let me tell you. And I adopted this
11:48
from my coach. There are some things that we were facing. I took
11:52
communion over it. I took. That's how I felt. I took communion
12:00
over it. There was areas in my mindset that I was struggling with.
12:05
I took communion and I said, God, you died on the cross for
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this insecurity? Is it so good? It's so. That's how I've learned
12:16
how to put God into the marketplace with me by utilizing biblical principles, my
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prayer time, my devotion time. I'm not just I'm not just reading the
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word just to read the word like the Word has It's what sustains me.
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I speak in tongue because it sustains my lifestyle. I submit to my coach,
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my pastors, to my husband because it sustains my lifestyle. It sustains
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my mindset, and it gives me the ability to see everything. Everything that
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I don't know, Nothing that's incomplete in my life. Everything is finished.
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So this is why I just heard you say that you've made a decision to
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reflect God, and if it does does not look like God, it is
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unfinished. That's it. That's what you just said. You know that said,
13:07
So that's why you're successful because everything has to I hope y'all picking up
13:11
these gam the recorder. I hope you getting into Okay, this is so
13:16
good. So I'm gonna transition this question from what you just said to you,
13:20
Co Sophia, because you's the glory goat, the glory go is in
13:26
a building. So she brought up the word grace. How how do you
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know when your grace to do something? Marketplace? Ministry? Marriage? How
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do you know? Because listen, you is newly wedded, like celebrating a
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yell you they're go babe, They're go babe. So how did you know
13:46
to navigate and when the grace was presented to you for whatever area in that
13:52
life, marriage, ministry and marketplace you? So, first of all,
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I just want to piggy off of what DC and when she talked about the
14:01
grace praying, Like a lot of people think that's cliche, like praying and
14:07
tongs or say it don't take all that, but those are basic principles.
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And so I feel like when you had a grace to do something, it's
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when God will make it easy for you, Like you can feel His presence
14:20
even though it may be some adversity, some challenges, it's like you able
14:24
to overcome it because your grace to do it, You feel his presence and
14:28
you feel God leading you. And so whenever it starts to be the kind
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of where the burdenness it don't it don't let us, or the heaviness don't
14:37
let up, or your peace or you know it ain't letting up, then
14:41
you have to pull back and say, wait a minute, am I going
14:43
now with my own strength? Or am I going in the strength of God?
14:48
And so sometimes we can start something. We can start, you know,
14:52
stepping into something because we're human, we creative, we innovative, and
14:58
we have our own desires and and the Bible says there's a way that seeth
15:01
right. And sometimes we'll go because it seemed right, but then the grace
15:07
will burn you out or things starting to be very chick out again. See,
15:11
there's a difference between warfare. When the enemy trying to you know,
15:16
slow you down or there's a tax, you can feel that, but then
15:20
you can feel God's grace to still overcome whatever warfare it is. And so
15:26
whenever you have the peace and you know God is God's presences with you and
15:30
you praying, then it will allow you to continue on to see things through.
15:35
So that's how I just believe you just go with God. And when
15:39
God is no longer in it, you transition, you move, you step
15:43
out of it. And then if it's if it's by God's divine grace to
15:48
complete specific things, then God will make sure that you carry you through.
15:52
So it's so good. That is so good, y'all give it up.
15:56
That's so good with you guys being newly whizzed and stuff, because you love
16:03
your mankos I do and I do. I do. She she told the
16:11
Lord that she was ready for herhus with you, guys being newlyweded, you
16:18
are a global leader, multifaceted. How did you how did you all?
16:25
I guess both of you guys can answer this. How did you all navigate
16:27
that that shift with with the demand that is on the ministry and the entrepreneurship.
16:38
Well, first, I mean it's God, God first on everything.
16:42
And I knew going in that she was an ambassador of prophets and a minister.
16:48
So it's nothing wrong with I would say for me as a guy,
16:53
my pride did not get in the way of me allowing her to be who
16:57
she is. I knew who she was before I married her, so why
17:03
would I try to make her feel less of who she is? And try
17:06
to try to make her not take the engagements that she needs to just I
17:11
want to spend time with her. You know, we can still spend time
17:14
together, but we're gonna minigeter we get this word out. Mhm. The
17:18
dope dealer, they push what they push, but were pushing the word.
17:22
Now we're gonna keep doing what we're doing. And I don't mind being in
17:25
a situation of helping my wife getting to where she needs to be at.
17:29
I'm a server, so I'm gonna help serve her while we serve the Lord
17:33
in getting the word out to our people. That's so powerful what you just
17:37
said. Because as a single woman and in my own right being who I
17:42
am, right, it's kind of discouraging when you see or hear. Let
17:48
me just let me be real. I like to be transparent with a normal
17:52
norma. In this segment, I'm gonna couch my feet up and a quill
17:55
or whatever. So we're gonna be transparenting her. Okay, we're gonna act
17:57
like this, that's the deal. So I've been told before you're gonna have
18:03
to choose ministry or marriage. I can't have both. And so to single
18:11
women that have heard those things before, what would be your encouragement to them?
18:18
You can have both. It's nothing wrong with having both. Why should
18:21
you settle just for one thing. It's just like in the book that I
18:25
wrote, I said talking about I need and I wanted someone in my life.
18:29
Sometimes we need things and also we want things as well. So why
18:33
can't you Why you have to belittle yourself to world? And you can have
18:37
one thing in life where you only can do ministry, but then can have
18:41
a good life as this ain't the same token. It's just like when you
18:45
go to the part. If you're a millionaire and you go to a car
18:49
lot and if it's a his and hers, why not buy his and hers?
18:53
If you can, you limit yourself on what you have inside. So
18:59
don't never live yourself to someone else tell you, oh, you only can
19:03
do this. No, it ain't about what only you can do. I
19:06
can do both. My God shall supply all my needs. I can do
19:10
whatever I want to do. And he put a period on it if y'all
19:14
ain't here, he said period. I'm gonna say it for you, mister
19:17
timmy period. That's so good. It's so encouraging to you guys, just
19:22
to see be up here with because y'all newly wears too, y'all, y'all
19:26
just turn too, y'all just turn to a December so they newly wears too,
19:30
and to be amongst greatness like y'all just oily, y'all are excellent.
19:34
And so what okay, I know one of the strategies both of you,
19:38
guys, both couples use is the strategy of social media. And it's like
19:45
social media can go lift or it can go right. And so because you
19:52
feel like everybody's wondering what you be doing, we're gonna start with you.
19:57
How do you balance but you will show the people and keep your other stuff
20:03
private? Like what is that balance? And how do you manage what you're
20:06
gonna do that on social media? Yeah, So first of all, you
20:10
have to decide what you're using social media for. And so I've decided to
20:15
use my platform for ministry, marriage, marketplace, and money. So these
20:21
are the four areas that you will find me talking about on my social media
20:26
page. And if it doesn't reflect that, and if it doesn't reflect that,
20:30
you won't see it. And also it's important that when I post,
20:34
I may post sharing a testimony, but it's gonna always end good. So
20:38
I'm not gonna lead the people just just feeling down and depressed and out.
20:45
I want them to see the full reflection of God turning a situation around.
20:52
And also, like, I just choose to be authentic. And what you
20:55
see on social media is what you get in person. Like how you see
20:59
me look on social media, that's how you're gonna see me look in person.
21:03
Yeah, because sometime, like you know, people, they have a
21:07
negative image to the point that they use even all of these filters. And
21:12
it's nothing wrong with using filters, but I believe that when all of your
21:17
pictures are filtered, that means that you're really hiding something inside. And so
21:22
I decide that, however, I'm going to show up and I'm going to
21:26
live an unfiltered lifestyle. And here's the thing. When you are authentic in
21:32
your lifestyle, you are authentic everywhere you show up. So you're not going
21:41
to get one person on social media in another person in person. Who I
21:45
am is who I am because I've decided to live an authentic lifestyle. This
21:52
is not a Jesus suit. This is not something that I take on,
21:56
a put on or take off whenever I want to this is my lifestyle,
22:00
whether it's right or wrong, Like, this is just who I am,
22:03
and I'm learning and I'm growing, and I have accountability to help me.
22:07
And also I realized that my social media is not It doesn't just belong to
22:12
me. It belongs to my husband, it belongs to my clients, it
22:15
belongs to my covering, my coaches. So I'm reflecting all of this.
22:21
So even when I want to address certain things, I don't because I'm reflecting
22:26
everybody that I've submitted to. You just said something right there, and I'm
22:32
gonna share. Let me tell y'all how to real is what she just said.
22:33
So coaching and I have been knowing each other for what's this two thousand
22:38
and four? So four years now? You think it's longer than that.
22:42
So two thousand and four didn't really? I was like, today is twenty
22:47
twenty four, not two thousand and four, twenty twenty. That's when I'm
22:51
trying to say, y'all, it's the I'm blaming it on the oil.
22:55
They making me nervous for the math? Went math and when is it go?
23:02
So show me talking about me off the mic. I But the whole
23:07
time when they started. I was just like, listen, I'm you're not
23:11
suposed to be trying to testimony testify, and they messed up on their own
23:14
testimony. That would be right there. But yeah, we've known each other
23:19
for four years and did it didn't make sense of our relationship and so but
23:25
we just went after God right and one of them. I remember one time
23:30
I didn't know what a buke was, but I found out quickly and I
23:34
was told to take something down off my story, and y'all it was a
23:41
I'm into black art, right, I love black art. Well, I
23:45
don't tell everybody that no more. After this happened, so I get a
23:48
d M and messages like, hey, woman to God, you might want
23:52
to take that down because x y Z. I was like, wait,
23:56
who is this letter trying to tell me to take something down? Now?
23:59
I had invited her to a conference and everything I was I was. I
24:03
wont to say infatuated, but I admired her, and so she she addressed
24:07
me about that this year when I had the opportunity to go and speak or
24:11
moderate for Tabitha Brown. The first thing she said was, aren't you glad
24:15
I cleaned up your social media us because Tabitha Brown looked at her social media
24:23
page, because your social media page, it is a reflection of you.
24:29
And sometimes you have to trust the voices that God have seen in your life
24:33
because they see where you're going. They don't coach you where you are,
24:37
they coat you where you're going. And so I saw the I saw the
24:41
potential, and I saw what God wanted to do in your life. And
24:44
I knew that God was happy he was placing in me was necessary to sharpen
24:49
you for moments like Tabitha Brown, and it did. And I feel sharp
24:55
in y'all, So thank thank you for the rebuke. Okay, bukes,
25:00
I'll still get rebukes. Listen, what y'all don't understand is and I'm kind
25:06
of probably overwhelmed subconsciously right now because this is something that I've seen before as
25:12
far as I was like, man, my coach has a leader. And
25:17
I'm looking to my left and I'm looking to my right, and it's just
25:21
a full of a panel full of people that are havey Oh, this is
25:26
so good. I was about speaking to them, so I know this is
25:26
good. A panel full of people willing to be led, willing to be
25:34
held accountable, and so the seed of your willingness to be led is your
25:40
seed a willingness to grow and develop and to be a leader. Because I'm
25:45
like, I look, I look at it, tell you this panel like
25:48
I'm the least of these, but they look at me. I'm so grateful
25:52
for y'all, y'all look at me like I'm so great, and so I'm
25:53
I honor, I honor that, y'all. So, man, if you
25:57
don't have a leader, if you're not meant lord, you're missing out,
26:02
y'all, y'all missing out because Tabitha Brown would have happened if I didn't have
26:06
my leader. It was a point of time where I wasn't churched. I
26:10
don't know why I'm testifying right now, but I didn't have a church.
26:12
And she was like, okay, I'm feeling it. The gap. What
26:15
you're reading, what Bob's versus you read. You need to prayer, you
26:17
need to share, bababy bel you need to like, you need to do
26:21
something, okay, because you will not be let You will not be with
26:25
me and have no oil. You will not run around me. She would
26:30
not have me on this stage with her covering. That would put it say
26:34
that the mic, so the folks can know, Oh no, like if
26:38
if it wasn't an advancement, and so that I hope that encourage you.
26:42
Didn't. I didn't try to take away from the panel, but I really
26:45
I really felt led to say that. And so with that, man said,
26:49
mister tummy, I do have a specific question for you, because we're
26:53
coming off a weekend. You guys just had an amazing quarterly meeting for CCL,
26:59
and you said some things with your transition from your single season to being
27:04
married to coach Sophia, you brought up your struggle season. So I have
27:10
a question that says, how did your struggle season teach you to manage your
27:15
Now? Wow? Interesting to the millions that are watching prophesy come on,
27:25
I received, I received Now my struggle season helped me to understand that God
27:33
was with me all along. See, sometimes we go through situations in life
27:41
we understand why, we we questioned the pain we we it's just like why
27:48
is this happening in all this? But sometimes God is wanting to allow you
27:55
to go to a situation where you keep relying on Him and not on your
27:59
own self. Because we get too mighty, we get too educated, and
28:04
we forget about God. We fit forget about where we came from. As
28:08
they say, when you come out the hood, you go to the rich
28:11
neighborhood and you forget where you came from. You you used to romanos,
28:18
but now you wanna you let me remember where you came from. It to
28:23
keep you humble. So, going through what I went through, I just
28:26
realized that God was with me the whole time. I didn't know how I
28:33
was gonna get through. I just know God, what's gonna get me through?
28:37
But God? But God? Who? Lord? Okay, next question
28:42
because it gets real on just as a podcast, I'm just telling you because
28:48
we create safe spaces around here. This you just you just said something that's
28:52
so powerful and this is what I heard you say that there's a strategy for
29:00
humility and Coach Sofi, i'mna direct this question to you. With you having
29:10
the platform that you have, what is your strategy for humility? And as
29:17
coach detail tell us you like stay she likes stay loads, stay load,
29:21
stay low. What does that look like for somebody that's on the rise.
29:25
Well, one of the things is my coach, Apostle John always taught me
29:30
remain a missionary and that stuck with me. And what he meant by that
29:34
is be able to sit with the best of them, but also be able
29:40
to sit with the least of them. And no matter how far God take,
29:44
you always think, how can I serve or be kind to someone else?
29:51
And it also goes back to not forgetting where you come from, you
29:55
know, remembering you know how far God brought you, and just that reminder
30:00
of man, look at how far God brought me. It just it automatically
30:04
causes your heart to get low because you know that if it had not been
30:10
for the Lord. You see what I'm saying. I almost went preachy on
30:11
that one, but I'm not because we're on a podcast, not in church.
30:17
It was on our side, you know, for real. And so
30:19
that is how I how I move is how can I I'm always thinking how
30:26
can I add value to someone else? How can I you know, make
30:33
somebody else's day? It's acts of kindness and so that that that keeps me
30:37
humble, stay low. And so when you have that mentality, you you
30:44
God will always bless you because you can be trusted with multiplication, you can
30:48
be trusted with increase, you can be trusted with influence because you know how
30:55
to handle God's people at all times, through all see and that's how I
31:00
walk, That's how I move. You see me. You know it's always
31:04
gonna be humility. That's so good. And one of the things I could
31:08
you said it earlier is saying authentic to yourself like you, I ain't gonna
31:15
bring that up, but you say authentically yourself. And I love how you
31:19
can just talk about or I have ones. If you ain't got no ones,
31:22
you need to get someone's I used to be, you know, high,
31:26
you know, but and just talk about your testimony, being truthful to
31:30
yourself but using it as a building point for your testimony. So it's just
31:34
so rewarding to just see the Instagram version of you and the practical in front
31:45
of your face version of the coach Sofia and they and they're not they're not
31:48
different, And so I think that's just very rewarding as a consumer good as
31:56
a consumer to digest the real you at all times. I think that's so
32:01
powerful. Coach. You brought up yesterday in a private conversation when we were
32:06
doing stuff for CCL. You said you always think about the consumer and what
32:13
their response would be What did you mean by that? I meant a lot
32:17
of times when we're doing things, we're always thinking about us instead of the
32:22
end user, instead of the consumer. So when we were putting things together,
32:28
we were thinking about how the people would sit, how the people will
32:31
walk through the door, how the people would experience. We realized that God
32:37
was using us to put together the system, but the system wasn't just going
32:40
to be utilized by us. It was going to be utilized by the consumer.
32:45
And so when you are serving people, you don't serve people from your
32:49
standpoint. You serve people from their standpoint. So you always look at every
32:54
client, your coach, your leaders, you look at them as the consumer
32:59
and you do for them what they want you to do versus what you want
33:01
to do. And so this is how you serve another person's vision, because
33:07
you can call yourself wanting to be a part of somebody else's vision, but
33:13
you want to be a part of their vision doing things the way that you
33:15
want to versus the way that the visionary has it. And so what I've
33:22
learned, and this is how I've learned, how to dissect people from two
33:24
ways. They can either be a helper of the vision, or they can
33:29
be a servant of the vision. Yeah, yeah, and so just realizing
33:35
that you need both. But if you think that every person who have come
33:38
to help the vision is a servant, you'll get let down. And if
33:43
you think that everybody have come to serve the vision instead of helping the vision.
33:47
You have to learn how to categorize people so that you can get the
33:52
results from the people of what they can give. And this will keep you
33:57
from putting false expectations on the people by learning how to categorize people based upon
34:04
what they can give versus what you expect them to give. Aka know your
34:10
Place? Did anybody else hear that? Or it's just the way inside of
34:15
Birmingham and me that heard it, know your place? Because this ain't it
34:19
okay, period, Coach j D. You have just flourished, Like just
34:30
seeing you grow is don't cry, Jessica, don't do that. Just seeing
34:36
you grow to where you are now, it's just it's very rewarding. And
34:42
so one of the things that you brought up before was that your business came
34:47
out of birthing the link, right, an extension of birthing the Link,
34:52
and you've had you've had success in sales, right, you a whole author
34:57
these streak, these streaks shut up. So but you also had an opportunity
35:04
to do a lot of collaboration. How do you get how do you choose
35:07
who and who not to do these collaborations with? You mean like business wise,
35:15
business faith with whichever? How do you choose? How do you navigate
35:19
make a decision like this is this is it? Or this matched me or
35:22
this doesn't. That's really good, That's a really good question. I think
35:28
a lot of things that kept me unfruitful in certain sectors of my life is
35:31
because you know, when you become a jack of all trades, you kind
35:37
of see success in a lot of things early. So a lot of times
35:40
I think that what keeps me now from collaborating with so many people is that,
35:46
you know, if it doesn't align with what I see myself becoming,
35:52
then I just you know, it's not for me. So I became a
35:55
jack of all trades, like I'm a I can play multiple you know,
35:59
instruments and different things and stuff like that, and I can you know,
36:01
do business things and then fitness and all these different other things. But a
36:05
lot of times I'm thankful that God's using them now. But I learned a
36:08
lot of those things because I didn't know who to collaborate and I didn't want
36:14
to be without the tools necessary to build what I thought that I wanted to
36:19
become. But what's dangerous in that is that you get people that will take
36:23
advantage of you and your vision and your work ethic and your goal and all
36:29
of that because they see that you want that next level. So I think
36:34
now the beautiful part about that is that I've grown for all of those failures
36:38
we talked about earlier, those experiences, that has put me in a place
36:42
where now any collaboration that comes, number one, it has to be for
36:45
the vision of what we're building. I don't have to do it alone anymore.
36:50
And so I look at it. Does this serve what her and I
36:52
talk about on the constant? What are we trying to do Kingdom City?
36:55
Like? If it doesn't go that way? And a lot of times,
36:59
because of how we met that it took a lot of people adjusting to be
37:02
adjusting my life to be like, my vision is changing. You can't hold
37:07
me to what I used to be because my vision has evolved. And a
37:10
lot of times and sometimes a lot of people end up dying in places because
37:15
they are allowing those who started with them with the vision to keep trying to
37:20
be the same battery that powers the vision to go all the way to the
37:22
end. And it doesn't work like that. And I think that was the
37:27
biggest thing that I now focus on to come when it comes with collaboration,
37:32
is that no matter who it is, I'm already set up for if it
37:37
does. Now. Kind of like my wife said, you're either a help
37:39
or to the vision, or you're a servant. And it's not being arrogant
37:43
or not trying to be you know, like you think you're better than anyone.
37:45
It's just like nobody's gonna do it other than us, Like nobody was
37:49
going to do these things other than being here, other than us. So
37:52
now at this point, if you want to collapse, it's like two choice.
37:54
You can either help, you can serve, but if not, either
37:57
that wage and kind of just move out the way little bit so we can
38:00
keep going, y'all. See why I said, he don't mind said,
38:06
Coach, like you just said something so powerful and I know you can speak
38:10
to it, but for some reason I'm feeling that Coach Tommy can speak to
38:14
it as well is learning because you guys married, did marry into influential people
38:23
that had their platforms, and I established what bro see. Okay, So
38:34
I wanted to say something real because like Tommy, like he knew which camera
38:40
mind, you're right there, I didn't know. I had no clue,
38:46
and I think that that, oh, she was just a tax lady,
38:50
right, I just I legit thought she was just a tax lader, like
38:53
I didn't know, and like that changed a lot of like how the vision
39:00
happened for me. But I just had to say that because I heard you
39:01
say that earlier, like you knew that your vision had to adjust and that's
39:06
how you kind of just like for me, it was a little different because
39:08
I didn't know necessarily, like who she was out here rolling with like no
39:14
offense. I didn't know a lot of people because I was, you know,
39:16
candid. She'ld like, look when you living, you're not thinking about
39:22
how I'm just saying, so I can't, like, you know, I
39:27
was a lost lamb. So you know it was different. So yeah,
39:30
but I'm sorry, I just had to No, you don't have to apologize,
39:32
It's good. So my question is, how did you guys, navigate
39:37
on who who went and who stayed as far as your circle to this new
39:44
level, to this new realm, because it's there are people don't understand,
39:51
like there is a divorce that happened with relationships period, Like everybody can't go,
39:58
So how did you know who to take? Where are these questions from?
40:02
I was born for this? Hey, okay, I ain't gonna lie
40:07
though, because that's a good who. See see that's why joined the YO.
40:21
You can go coach Telly because I just surprised him. Let me recollect.
40:25
Well, my circle was already, h it wasn't big already. I've
40:31
learned that early on to have a small circle period, just because of who
40:37
you hang around, that's who you become. So I hang around people that's
40:43
doing well, that have good mindsets. That's that I look after. You
40:46
know, it's just not I'm the smartest one in the bunch and all that.
40:52
That's not cool. But I have good discernment of who I want to
40:55
hang around as well. And people don't realize I'm an interest, so I
41:01
look at things a lot different than most people. I'm gonna observe your actions,
41:07
how you talk, how you look at me, and how you maneuver
41:10
if you treat someone else disrespectfully, And like you say, I'm no matter
41:17
how big I get or how high I get, I'm gonna stay humble because
41:22
I know at any given point you could be brought down. Go bring you
41:25
down. So I used to be a server, So I mean I know
41:30
how to serve. I've waited on the best, I didn't waited on the
41:32
least. I got twenty seven cent tips, I didn't got one hundred dollar
41:37
tap. I'm gonna still give my one hundred percent every single time. So
41:43
you have to have a good network around you because of where you want to
41:50
go in life, you have to first think about it inside of who you
41:54
want to become. That so good, Oh my goodness, you know how
42:01
you just be dropping the mic all the time. You're so aw So that's
42:08
a good I am only because of my wife is only too as well.
42:15
Yeah, I'm the I'm I'm. I might be the head of the house,
42:17
but the old just doesn't come from the head. It also drips down
42:22
from my wife as well. So this is on another point. But even
42:25
when we're at home and she's worshiping and going into the glories of God,
42:30
if she's upstairs and I'm downstairs, I will mute the TV, get off
42:35
the phone while she's going in. I want some of that to trick all
42:37
on down on me. Some people to just keep going about that day and
42:43
going nah, I cut aside and I'm like, nah, God, she
42:49
be going in. Sometimes I'd be like, Lord, let that fall on
42:52
me too. So we both have to be ordered. It's not just one.
42:57
So that's the side. No, but that's help people listen. Can
43:07
I can we let coach JD kind of speak to this because he come so
43:13
coached Tommy. He come from from a serving background. So I'm so he
43:21
was raised as a ministry guy, was married, went through a divorce,
43:23
and he lived eight years as a man. Not what kind of coach.
43:34
Yeah you know what I'm saying, like player player from the Himalayas, and
43:37
do you know about that coach? And they just learned about that last week
43:42
only because coach just told me. But then he had to come into this
43:45
lifestyle and so he had to transition very quickly, and there was decisions and
43:52
choices that he had to make very very quickly, or he would have aborted
43:55
the miracle that God. Yeah, the miracle because it was a miracle for
44:00
us to come together, so he would had abort it. So a lot
44:05
of times people they praise God for the miracle, but they forget that there's
44:08
maintenance to the miracle, and so he had to maintain the miracles. So
44:15
there were some decisions that he had to make quickly in order to keep the
44:21
miracle. You see what I'm saying. You see how she's telling you that
44:25
she's the miracle. Okay, you did think that's what we extracted from that,
44:32
but no, like seriously, so I think that I live in a
44:37
realm of miracles, like before I met you know, before you guys probably
44:42
ever heard of me, Like, miracles have been a part of my life,
44:46
like from the moment I have been born, which I never really understood,
44:51
and I really truly thought it was just for me because I was special,
44:53
you know. I was like, oh, God just like me more
44:55
than he like everybody else. That's cool. So what ended up happening is
45:00
by the time this thing happens, I'm thinking that, Okay, man,
45:05
God, you then came through just like I didn't think you would, But
45:09
I see you did, like I always believe, so you have the miracle
45:14
and what he had to teach me, and I had to quickly learn about
45:17
deciding who could come and who had to go. Bro that question is just
45:22
right. It's so crazy because I had a very large circle, and it
45:29
wasn't because you know, I enjoyed necessarily everybody in the circle. I just
45:37
liked being able to be like dropped anywhere in the world and I can call
45:40
somebody and I'm good. And that was what I was taught because I got
45:45
into marketing and sales. So for me, my circle became as good as
45:49
my network became. So in business, the way I came in, I
45:53
came in from ministry. So let me give you guys a little bit of
45:57
a history about me, because I put I think that people don't no,
46:00
and I don't really say it a lot because I'm just like it doesn't matter.
46:02
But in business, I was thrown in in like in two months.
46:07
I was passing people that had been there for like two and a half years.
46:12
I'm doing like sales. They flying me to like La and all this
46:15
other stuff, and I'm in the top of the top. Now I'm from
46:17
like the backwoods right up here in Penson. So my whole life. I'm
46:21
thinking that the dream and all this other stuff. So now they're telling me
46:23
my father and different things. Why I love, you know, my parents
46:27
so much because they gave me the foundation of Christ. But the world taught
46:30
me it ain't about that. It's about your network. So you yeah,
46:35
you can do all that, but who you know won't came about that.
46:37
So I was like, well, this is what's gonna happen. I was
46:40
heartbroken after divorce. I became a little bit of a ladies man. So
46:43
I'm like, you know, I'm just trying to get to the bag.
46:45
It is what it is. So now I'm out here, I'm doing all
46:49
this stuff, and I realized now that I'm in a position to where my
46:52
network and my net worth exactly where I'm going. But I'm realizing that none
46:58
of these people full of the Holy Ghost. None of them are. And
47:00
I'm okay with that now because at this point I tried it that way wasn't
47:07
enough power because my dream was too big. Not knowing that the dream was
47:09
gonna bring me here, you see what I'm saying, So long story short,
47:14
deciding where I could find out and who I wanted to bring with me
47:17
on this journey. By the time, I'm thinking that my life is just
47:21
a series of miracles because I'm the same one that got flown out when I
47:24
was doing the business thing. I'm saying one God did so even I'm in
47:28
God out God, he still got miracles on. No, it's not.
47:31
And I found out that the maintenance of the miracle with God was showing me,
47:35
is that anything that you're willing to put forth the maintenance for you can
47:39
have. It's not about whether it's going to work or it won't work.
47:47
It's literally the fact that are you willing to work it until it works?
47:52
Wow? And for me, I wasn't willing to work certain things past a
48:00
certain point. So what I found out is that now here it is,
48:07
I got this miracle and the moment I'm realizing like this is different because Yo,
48:12
this is awesome. And the whole time she's telling me, Babe,
48:15
I'm trying to tell you my life normally ain't like this. Now y'all,
48:17
y'all gotta understand how you get them is how you're supposed to keep them.
48:22
She didn't do that. She checked me. I was like, where you
48:31
gott be so different? Because I didn't even we were friends. And what
48:36
was crazy is Tom, you know when you're kicking it with the you just
48:40
talking it ain't That was the level of like likeness it had. Like you
48:45
was like, Lord, send me my wife. I was like, Yo,
48:46
she though I'm cool. I ain't got no I got situationship, unfaithful
48:55
relationship with another, other relationship, another ship. I think I bought a
48:59
toy. Who knows all the different ships. I was shipped out because I
49:10
felt like I'm like and the crazy part. And let me tell you how
49:14
listen though, listen how prophetic this point in this whole thing is because of
49:17
the way she approached me about where I was. She didn't even look like
49:22
the way that I thought ministry was supposed to look like. Oh so you
49:28
all types of miracles because you all types of miracle miror trying to kiss each
49:31
other through the saying because I didn't see her coming, y'all gotta hear me
49:37
on this. I didn't see her coming, Jerald, I ain't see it
49:39
coming, bro, Look I Jerald, I gave her the best advice.
49:45
I tell you. Ask my girls right now, what's the best advice I
49:46
gave them? Jerald? You'll tell them later. Okay, but I literally
49:52
didn't see it coming. So I'm like, oh my god, y'all gotta
49:55
understand y'all are seeing this, imagine living get Tommy, can you can you
50:02
imagine? They really can't imagine living it. So Tommy roared her in.
50:08
I was just roaring because I was just turned up, probably from some type
50:13
of time we were happy. You. Oh you roared and you roared,
50:17
and then you said you knew what you was looking for. Okay, So
50:22
okay for the people that may be watching this and don't understand this whole row
50:25
concept, Oh y'all be assuming everybody church and everybody ain't church. So yeah,
50:34
I roared him in. So I like that you said that, you
50:37
like, what why do I roar? Like? Literally, I just prayed,
50:39
like y'all y'all like, what is that loud noise? No, that's
50:45
literally like Holy Spirit made intercession with growny the others that cannot be understood.
50:50
So because every time when I said I was ready for my husband, like
50:54
I start having what I thought. And then when I just really yielded and
51:00
said, Holy Spirit knows the perfect Man of God that is designed for me.
51:05
So I just prayed in the spirit and yeah and boom, he had
51:16
to get rid of his roster because he did have a lineup too. Like
51:22
you know what I mean, I knew it. He never talks to me.
51:28
He never said quiet over there, talks about that. He never testified
51:35
it. See that that wasn't my story. I had gone through a divorce
51:40
after sixteen years. So I was planning on dating in every city, state,
51:45
country, and continent. I was gonna date in every flavor. I
51:52
was just like I was on. Was I not ready today, Coach?
51:57
Because I got in trouble once. I need to calm down. Just calm
52:00
down. I'm ready, I'm ready. I'm ready. Listen. I was
52:05
so ready, y'all. I don't even know if I told you how this.
52:07
I was so ready that dog. Let me tell you about spiritual covering.
52:13
When you have a spiritual covering for real, for real. A So
52:16
I had flew out of state to meet this guy, okay, and Coach
52:23
called me, and she normally facetimed okay. So when she facetimed me,
52:30
I declined, and so I was going to call her and stay ai.
52:37
So I called her and then she said, m d face time me while
52:45
I'm out. I had to see something I don't know. But the Holy
52:58
Ghost wouldn't let me, the Holy listen, the Holy Girl send her,
53:02
wouldn't let me. I was arrested immediately, and I remember saying these simple
53:09
words to God. Because y'all got to keep in mind, I had been
53:13
married since I was twenty five years old, and I'm over forty now,
53:16
so I don't know how to be a kept woman. So I'm like God,
53:21
I whispered these little words, and I don't want to be kept.
53:25
So I whispered these words to God and I told him this. I said,
53:30
God, I said, if you don't send me a covering, I'm
53:32
gonna mess up this ministry. And I didn't know that those simple words,
53:39
and I said it during a vulnerable time to God. I was because now
53:44
I'm afraid because I'm at war with my flesh. I'm at war in my
53:50
flesh. Watch this, I'm at war in my flesh with both sexes.
53:54
With female. You're getting real, you're getting red. And I'm telling my
54:00
coach, like, wait a minute, Like I don't like see because when
54:04
you've been in both lifestyles, now you have different options, different choices,
54:09
and people are willing to cover you while you make bad choices. And so
54:17
now I'm like, God, I need you to help me because I didn't
54:22
realize how wicked the world had really become because I had not been in the
54:28
world. So now I'm uncovered in this single lifestyle and there are people from
54:36
the pulpit, from the streets that's coming at me from both lifestyles, and
54:42
I'm scared, like, for real, I don't know if I have enough
54:46
in me to be kept. So now I'm praying like God, like I
54:52
want to be kept, and God, He'll keep you from from falling.
54:55
But this world, Yo, this world I haven't had to manage, and
55:00
this thing was scary. I'm saying I didn't know. So now that's why
55:06
I pray differently from my single people. I prayed differently because I didn't know
55:12
that they had to endure all of this temptation while trying to love God.
55:16
Back then, that was one thing. But the world has gotten more wicked,
55:22
and so I'm scared. And I whispered this in my vulnerability because I
55:25
know that I got this ministry, I got mentees, I got spiritual daughters
55:29
that look up to me to make the right decision, not just when they're
55:32
around in their absence, when nobody knows, they still need me to make
55:39
good decisions. And I thank God for my leader because during my vulnerable moments,
55:45
I was able to call like, Coach, I don't know what this
55:47
is. And God sent this man of God, so y'all look at him.
55:53
This man of God have covered me so that I could protect the ministry
55:59
that God that's given me. So he wasn't just like love me doubly even
56:04
though I love everything about him. Half of the stuff I can't even hardly
56:07
concentrate because I'm so attracted cit this man. Okay, Like it's just the
56:10
way his focus, That's what I'm saying, Like, like it's just everything
56:15
about him, and that's good. But he was sent to my life for
56:20
just for more than that. He had to cover me so that I can
56:22
continue to do ministry from a clean place. That's so good. You know,
56:30
y'all clap that up, don't, Yeah, glory do y'all want to
56:40
sew a seed on that? But and see all season is I can't let
56:45
this go. Coach Sophiel, you might want to get the mic. You
56:50
said something in connection. So she has a story of where she was married
56:53
before, and y'all if y'all have a question, and we're going to take
56:57
a couple of questions, so be prepared. Doesn't want it. She came
57:02
from a situation where she was married since twenty five. This is your first
57:07
married marriage. But you said something a few moments ago where you said I
57:13
was ready for this. A lot of single women you're like, oh,
57:16
I'm ready. I want my men put a ring on it, come on,
57:23
period, and they be lying, So what does ready look like?
57:34
You know? That's really good. So first when I realized I had false
57:39
humility about wanting to be married was when different prophets or different people were saying
57:46
God's gonna send your husband, and your husband's coming. I was feeling offended
57:51
because I felt like, you're just saying that because I'm single, I'm doing
57:55
ministry. And then when I was single, it wasn't that I I hated
58:00
being single, like I was single and thriving. I was very successful being
58:05
single, and so one time it just rubbed me the wrong way and I
58:07
was like, I'm good. But then when I was riding home, I
58:12
was like, man, I'm not like I just got through pouring out preaching
58:16
it's cold, it's dark. At five o'clock, I'm by myself in these
58:22
streets. I gotta take the trash out in the snow, in the cold,
58:27
like I made serious, like a lot of things, and I'm going
58:29
home and I'm by myself, and I just was like, man, I
58:35
don't like this. And so to fast forward, I remember then going to
58:42
a meeting with my team and I was just speaking prophetically and I remember making
58:46
an announcement. I said, the Lord says, your husbands are coming and
58:52
families are coming, and I'm prophesied this and the people getting excited. But
58:55
what I thought I was saying was for the women that I married, ready,
59:00
their husbands would be a part of the group. And so literally before
59:06
that meeting ended, it was three or four couples that said, Coach,
59:10
get in this picture with us, because this is the last year you're going
59:15
to be taking a picture by yourself with us. Normally I would go off,
59:20
ain't getting that pitch. I ain't Mary, you know, But I
59:22
took the picture in faith. I just believe it was like something was like,
59:27
man, I'm ready for this, right, And so I took the
59:30
picture in faith, got home and I was on my way to pick up
59:35
my little doll, right, and I remember saying, God, I'm ready,
59:38
like but then I said, make me a wife. I said,
59:44
make me a wife, and do whatever you need to do to prepare me
59:49
to be an amazing wife and help me to have a desire to submit and
59:57
serve, like take out anything that would make me object to coming under and
1:00:05
submitting to the man of God. And so God started to really prepare my
1:00:09
heart. He started to It was like little things to make me. I
1:00:14
was serving people, I was doing things that I typically wouldn't do, but
1:00:19
that was all a part of the preparation. And then I started just praying.
1:00:22
I said, because you believed in faith. And then Prophet called me
1:00:28
profit markets and he said, in like sixty days, your husband gonna show
1:00:31
up. In it the be a forever honeymoon. And he started to describe
1:00:36
the characteristics of the type of man that God was sending me, and I'm
1:00:39
like, my God in Heaven, like I receive it. And I'm literally
1:00:45
about sixty days later it happened Tommy showed up. But what's so funny is
1:00:52
I had a glimpse of him at that time in what twenty seventeen. He
1:00:57
was already married, but I didn't know. I was going to church,
1:01:00
saw this fine man and I was like, oh, who is that?
1:01:05
My friend said he married. I never seen him again. I had been
1:01:08
to their church so many times, but I've never seen him again. And
1:01:12
he was still there. And so when she did, what she did was
1:01:16
sending him a picture without asking me, which I'm so grateful because saying she
1:01:22
told me she was gonna send this man a picture of me. I was
1:01:24
a trip sending a picture. And yeah, the rest was like history.
1:01:30
But that's what preparation is really, a lot of women are so hard with
1:01:36
I don't need a man or I'm good because we are afraid of being disappointed,
1:01:43
or we are afraid of waiting, or we hurt, or we feel
1:01:46
like we can do this by ourself. Well, I don't want to do
1:01:51
it by myself. And I wanted God to send me my man to God
1:01:54
that I can love and who would love me back. And Baby, when
1:01:59
I tell you, God did his good thing, he really did. You
1:02:07
look, he just came for my neck coat. So few because I transparent
1:02:13
moment, I've been the woman. I'm coming out of it, Okay,
1:02:16
coming out of the single mindset of Let me put it this way. I
1:02:22
had a conversation with a friend and he said, there's a difference between being
1:02:28
lonely and being single, and I had to think about it. I was
1:02:32
like, man, I was acting desperate because I was lonely, you know,
1:02:37
I was. I had this mindset of I can do bad all by
1:02:39
myself because I'm lonely and experiencing rejection and experiencing all these feelings, and you
1:02:46
know, acting out of my loneliness, you know, not whatever. But
1:02:52
now I feel like I'm coming into this space of singleness and I'm like,
1:02:57
oh, this is nice. I can really do this. I can be
1:03:01
on a podcast. I can serve and not saying oh they want me to
1:03:06
serve because I ain't got no kids. Shout out to my nieces and nephews.
1:03:08
I've been with them bodies. They keep me humble. But I think
1:03:15
you just spoke to One of the things that I took from it personally,
1:03:21
is that false humility, and once you break that, then you open yourself
1:03:24
up for what God really wants for you. So that's good. Y'all.
1:03:27
Give it up for the panelist, the Wilson's and the Pambies, the bombies,
1:03:30
and the Wilsons, and so now these gonna be rules to the questions,
1:03:36
y'all. Okay, I'm just playing. Listen. If you have a
1:03:40
question, just raise your hand. Please tell us who you're directing the question
1:03:45
to and be clear on your question. Okay, all right, we got
1:03:50
a mic, desiree got a mic? Are any questions? Any questions on
1:03:55
the floor. Okay, don't be shy. I'm about to say, don't
1:04:00
be shying. Kendall. You can come up here if you got a question,
1:04:02
shout out. Told my sister in the back, handle it, putting
1:04:04
it down. She does might hear Kendall's dreadheads shameless plug. Okay, I
1:04:14
guess either either person can because both of you are married. I've been married
1:04:18
before, uh divorced? Bad not. I want to say it was a
1:04:25
bad pick because I have three beautiful children from them. You try to kill
1:04:29
me, but it wasn't. I wouldn't say a bad pick. My last
1:04:33
my late husband passed two years ago. And how do you get I guess
1:04:40
the confidence and saying okay, this is the right choice for me. Eight
1:04:55
Yeah, I would say that, first of all, you have confidence in
1:05:00
yourself of who you are, and don't let nobody tell you any different,
1:05:08
keep the opinions from others out of your mind, and knowing that you're a
1:05:13
good person and that we all make mistakes. I was married for twenty one
1:05:16
a half years, but I and I was in that state too that I
1:05:20
didn't want to go through that again. I didn't think I wanted to go
1:05:24
down that all again, to be married again, to be hurt. But
1:05:28
when you put that mindset or that thinking that you're gonna get hurt again,
1:05:33
you will get hurt. So I went, I changed my mindset and said,
1:05:38
Lord, send me my wife the way I can show them who I
1:05:42
am and so I can be the best person for them. I changed.
1:05:46
I learned from my past, I have learned from my experiences, so I'm
1:05:53
gonna be give my wife the better version of the Tommy that has become soft.
1:06:01
So good. Thank you for asking that a question. That was a
1:06:02
good question. Hi, I'm Stephanie Daniels. I'm directing this question to Ms
1:06:13
d Fombi and anybody else that want to answer. Okay, So, first
1:06:15
of all, I was married twice. The first marriage, I found out
1:06:19
the guy was living a homosexual lifestyle, so that failed. The second marriage,
1:06:25
it was okay, all the man that I needed, but he wasn't
1:06:28
like spiritually on the same level. He was always like calling me a beef
1:06:30
for every little thing I was being strong when not showing the Lord. He
1:06:35
recently passed away. But those are my daughter's father. He was a good
1:06:41
father in my eyes, so I would say if well, my excuse is
1:06:45
now, I feel like I wasted a lot of time with my life with
1:06:49
the Lord. So I'm really not looking for anybody, but a lot of
1:06:53
people be coming for me and not coming for me and telling me the Lord
1:06:56
gonna send me somebody. But I'm like you, I rejected the word I'm
1:07:00
pretty much saying. So I feel like my time is for me and the
1:07:02
Lord to get my time redeemed. And I'm looking after my daughters as well,
1:07:06
because I might not trust any man around my daughters that's not their father.
1:07:13
So the question is how can I handle that or that just speak to
1:07:18
that. Yeah, So first when it comes to just trusting someone to be
1:07:28
a part of your life, really this is an opportunity where you have to
1:07:33
learn how not to ignore the signs and not to ignore what God is showing
1:07:40
you. Oftentimes we make excuses for people because we know their potential. But
1:07:45
one of the things that the Lord told me is that he created all of
1:07:48
us with potential, and that is not a reason to ignore what you see
1:07:55
a person doing today. And so if I was to use that wisdom when
1:07:59
it comes to relay relationships that I have have had in my life, I
1:08:02
wouldn't just think about the potential of who they become. I would also be
1:08:08
mindful as to who they are today and so not to ignore the signs.
1:08:13
And then number two, I have a daughter, so I had to consider
1:08:16
the man that I was marrying and whether or not or how to bring him
1:08:24
around her, whether or not she was going to accept him, since her
1:08:29
father is very active in her life and she really loves her dad. And
1:08:33
so this was a conversation that Jade and I had we had to have.
1:08:38
First of all, I had to show her that I was comfortable with being
1:08:41
around him. And then number two, I had to have a conversation with
1:08:45
her, and I also had to hear what she was saying and what she
1:08:51
wasn't saying, which means that if she didn't feel comfortable being around him.
1:08:57
It wasn't something I had to force. Like, one of the things I
1:09:00
realized is like I did not want to force my daughter to be around somebody
1:09:05
that she may not have been comfortable with, because if I did that,
1:09:09
now, as she grow up, she would think that it's okay when men
1:09:15
forced themselves on her. So I had to and so I had to talk
1:09:20
to her about our relationship and talk to her about her feelings. And then
1:09:26
from there, just because I was comfortable with him, I had to give
1:09:30
her time to be comfortable with him. So I didn't just force him on
1:09:33
her. I had to give time. That's that help, Okay, that
1:09:40
helped me. Praise the Lord, y'all helping me too, So Carl Clark.
1:09:48
As a single woman, one of my biggest challenges is I like to
1:09:53
move how I move And Wow, I definitely am excited about God sending my
1:10:03
husband. What I think makes me a little nervous sometimes is like, God,
1:10:13
is the man that you're going to send me going to understand what I
1:10:15
do for you? And so as you guys were preparing, how did you
1:10:25
prepare your mind to receive in a way to where you didn't block it out
1:10:31
from that level from that level of selfishness that says I want to move how
1:10:35
I want to move, and if I just got a date forever, so
1:10:40
I don't have to be accountable to somebody. You know what, How did
1:10:46
you guys navigate that through that to get to a place where you can say
1:10:50
I'm prepared? So I think that's when they come to saying ask instead of
1:10:56
just asking God to send your husband, asking him to make you a wife
1:11:01
and to make you ready. And those are good decisions because I remember I
1:11:06
would just easily be gone, catch a flight, I'm out. I mean
1:11:11
that independence, absolutely without asking questions, without considering anyone else, and I
1:11:18
could just come and go as I please. But I realized I was tired
1:11:24
of doing that by myself. And when I said I was ready, that
1:11:29
meant I was ready to submit, you know, and to be accountable to
1:11:34
someone else in regards to the decisions I made. And so even when so
1:11:40
I knew I was ready, when I was also ready to share a space
1:11:43
when I was ready. So I was processing all of that what happens,
1:11:46
especially as a woman of God, I tenerate A lot of people was telling
1:11:51
me, when your husband come, you're not gonna be able to travel like
1:11:56
this, You're not gonna be And so I had anxiety about that, but
1:11:58
I said, no, that God will give my husband capacity for my assignment
1:12:03
if this is God's assignment. And so I also remember saying to myself doing
1:12:10
that part of preparation, this is what I said before. I when people
1:12:15
say, if your husband tell you take three months off, you can't travel,
1:12:18
I was like, oh, he coming against my assignment. I am
1:12:21
no, No, ain't no man gonna tell me. I wasn't ready.
1:12:25
I wasn't ready because I was still ready to argue and fight. But the
1:12:29
moment I thought, I said, what if my husband said to me,
1:12:32
you know, you need to take about six months off, just the rest,
1:12:36
just to do that, I said, I want that. I said
1:12:40
that to myself because I knew that when God said my husband, he would
1:12:45
come and care about the person. While everybody else care about what they can
1:12:49
give from me, what I can do for them, and everybody they don't
1:12:54
care about Sophia. They care about the prophet, the coach, the ambassador.
1:12:59
And so I realized I want a husband who see me every day,
1:13:03
who know my anxieties, my stress, the responsibilities that are saying, may
1:13:10
you know what, you don't have to travel, take three months off and
1:13:13
rest. It wasn't a fight. It was me looking at my husband saying,
1:13:16
you saying this because you actually care about the woman. And so I
1:13:23
think that all of that goes into coming out of a single mentality to saying
1:13:30
I'm willing to submit and come under meaning when God send you that man you
1:13:35
trust and feel safe that if you're saying he's gonna cover me, then he
1:13:41
knows exactly what I need even when I don't. And that comes with the
1:13:45
vulnerability of you trusting the man God's seeing and you know that early on without
1:13:51
uh, you know, because they'll show red flags early on before that.
1:13:57
But that's when you know, as a woman, you ready because you're you
1:14:00
ain't ready to argue when he just holds you accountable too, you know.
1:14:08
Yeah, does that make sense? Oh? You made sense, You made
1:14:12
a lot of sense. That was good. Hey, y'all. Oh,
1:14:21
she said you can answer that question coach y too. Did you want to
1:14:28
did you want to ask the answer the question? That card? But it
1:14:30
was you gonna just let coach Sophia's answer the question. That was good?
1:14:35
That was good. You can ask your question. Okay, I am an
1:14:41
entrepreneur. Entrepreneur myself, and I'm kind of new to this, and I
1:14:46
deal with imposter syndrome. Like a lot of times I think like I'm not,
1:14:50
you know, good enough to be in certain rooms, or you know,
1:14:55
because I just started, or I don't walk in like the boldness that
1:14:59
I I believe that I should. Sometimes, how have y'all ever, as
1:15:04
entrepreneurs, dealt with it? And how do you come out of it?
1:15:09
I can start that, yes, I feel like we probably all have dealt
1:15:15
with that. How do you come out of that? Is learning how to
1:15:17
work on self versus the business, and so like, I spent a lot
1:15:21
of time working on business, getting clients, making a lot of money.
1:15:26
But then I realized, like the imposter syndrome showed up, lack of integrity
1:15:30
showed up. And it wasn't that I had these things concerning business. It
1:15:34
was part of my identity. It was a part of who I was that
1:15:38
was showing up in business. And so oftentimes people this is how they end
1:15:42
up failing in business. It's because they spend so much time being developed in
1:15:46
business, but they're not being developed. And so I feel that if you're
1:15:51
going to overcome those issues that will also eventually affect your money, you have
1:16:00
to spend time developing self, like going to signing up for masterclasses, find
1:16:09
a leadership class, getting a mentor, you know, not being afraid to
1:16:14
be vulnerable, so like getting someone where they can develop you as the person.
1:16:20
And I'm telling you this because I definitely have lived this, because you
1:16:26
need to have people that care more about you than they care about what you
1:16:31
can do. And I can appreciate this about my coach because I'm very multifascinted
1:16:38
and I work with high profile leaders like my coach, and I'm hired for
1:16:43
my gifts and my talents. But coach was the only person who have ever
1:16:46
told me she said d She said, I'll fire you from all of this
1:16:50
because I care about you. And that's when I realized that I had someone
1:16:57
that's in my corner who cared about the development of person versus what versus serving
1:17:02
in the gift. And so again I would encourage you to find a coach,
1:17:06
find a class, find a mentor someone that you can share your vulnerability
1:17:11
with because the Bible said that if you confess your false one to another,
1:17:15
then you will be healed. And oftentimes we try to heal ourselves with no
1:17:18
confession. A confession has to happen in order for healing to be made.
1:17:25
So believe it or not today with you standing up, it's part of your
1:17:29
healing journey. It's already started. Amen. Amen, y'all give it up
1:17:34
for the bombies and the Wilsons. We appreciate you guys. Yeah, y'all
1:17:42
can give it up. Give it up, give it up. So how
1:17:48
we end things on just as the podcast on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Music
1:17:54
all that go subscribe. But how we end it is we do last thoughts
1:18:01
and so out of everything that we've spoken about with ministry, marriage and marketplace,
1:18:08
if they didn't hear one thing that came out of your mouth, what
1:18:11
is that last thing that you want to leave with him? We'll start with
1:18:14
you. Coach Tummy, I would say, put God first. Make sure
1:18:18
you keep your character, integrity all in place, Do not compromise to be
1:18:26
no different, don't worry about the likes, the hearts and all that.
1:18:30
Be yourself and let God do it in your life. Minus this anthem that
1:18:36
I've had for two years now, it will be God or it will be
1:18:41
God. And I believe that in whatever you do, whether it's ministry of
1:18:45
marketplace, trust God. If God is in it, you'll be successful in
1:18:48
all things. I would tell anyone that it's important to stick to integrity and
1:18:59
commit all the way to the end in spite of the adversity. Don't allow
1:19:03
adversity or excuses to make you be a person who don't keep your word.
1:19:09
People need to be able to keep your be able to trust that you'll keep
1:19:13
your word. And if you learn how to keep your word and the small
1:19:16
things, then God can allow you to master the big things. It's funny
1:19:25
I was thinking. I was like, man, what would I say?
1:19:27
And to sum it up, I would say, no matter you want or
1:19:31
no matter how big the dream, neither one of those really matter, and
1:19:35
it's all about the journey in between. That's it. No matter what you
1:19:42
want, no matter how big your dream is like, persistence will get you
1:19:46
there if you just don't give up and quit. But the journey in between
1:19:49
is what would literally keep you or either make it seem like your dream was
1:19:55
what you really wanted or you were just talking about it. So I'm just
1:19:59
a avid believer that you know my shout out to my pops, my dad,
1:20:03
and my mom showed up. You know, they had service today,
1:20:06
So thank y'all for showing up. But you know, he preached the message
1:20:11
one time and I felt like it kind of took me on this journey in
1:20:14
life. And it's called dream He said, tap your neighbors said dream beer,
1:20:16
Now watch God exceed it. And that literally changed the trajectory of everything
1:20:20
in my life. And so no matter what your dream or your journey or
1:20:24
whatever you want, the journey in between is what it's really about. It.
1:20:28
If you literally do not give up, it's only a matter of time
1:20:31
because it's already yours. Hey man, that's good. Let's give it up
1:20:35
for that one more time. I appreciate all of you. I want to
1:20:41
thank you for being on this platform. Congratulations to the Fombies again for a
1:20:46
grand opening of the link. We appreciate you y'all watching on YouTube, listening
1:20:53
on Apple Music, Spotify, thank you for tuning in and until next week,
1:20:58
life could be much more simple if you just ask. Hey, y'all,
1:21:06
thank you for listening to just ask. If you enjoyed this experience,
1:21:11
be sure to like coming and rate so others can find the show. If
1:21:15
you'd like to stay connected with me, feel free to follow me at the
1:21:18
Jessica Smith on all platforms. Again, I'm your girl, jess Until next time,