Latest / Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast / Season One, Episode 29: Black Antlers Part 4: Drink to the Dead (with Daniel Harila Carlsen)

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Season One, Episode 29: Black Antlers Part 4: Drink to the Dead (with Daniel Harila Carlsen) · Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast

0:01
Hi, I'm Pruegel, and welcome back to Flail to the Face.
0:04
I'm a fucking pain in the ass and everybody hates me.
0:07
And I'm going to leave it up to you to Daniel H Carlson from
0:10
here. Yeah, fuck you, Pruegel.
0:12
Hey, I'm Daniel, welcome back to Flail to the Face.
0:15
We're playing my adventure Black Antleris, and even though we've
0:19
lost a few player characters, not pounds, we are about to get
0:24
meatier. And before we do a little recap
0:26
because we're all fucking amnesiac or whatever.
0:29
Oh yeah, who do we have around the table here?
0:32
Hello, I am Levi and I'm playing braless.
0:36
And it's me, Jacob, the snake of, and I'm playing Mobius
0:39
Richard. I'm Thomas and I'll be playing
0:42
Balmfrid. I'm Kevin and I'm playing Grubs.
0:46
I'm progal and I don't sound like that.
0:51
Yes I do Fuck you. No, fuck you.
0:54
Fuck me. Oh, yeah?
0:56
You'd like that, wouldn't you? All right, let's play the music.
1:25
So well after things went up in fire on the frozen lake in the
1:31
last episode, Yukna had a vision of after losing her quote UN
1:36
quote beloved husband to the elements and Pyro losing very
1:40
dear Paul to Veda the so-called witch and her very hungry boys.
1:47
Yukna had a vision about Glittering cord underneath the
1:50
frozen lake and after Pyro sort of had a blaze in the tent to
1:55
fight eternal winter which he started hating more and more and
1:59
they both went on a corpse sleigh ride before being mauled
2:03
to death by a creature that they now know is not a typo.
2:07
The Mall Russ which smashed down both, Kefwin, Pyro who was the
2:13
only probably pure hearted idiot brave enough to to attempt to
2:18
save them, Yotna and Pyro as they were all smashed down
2:22
underneath into the freezing waters.
2:24
Meanwhile I guess Pruegel and Braless were were watching or
2:29
something from the tumulus preparing for some Sunday night
2:31
grave robbing where they soon found company.
2:35
Vomfred the Death Witch and his proprietor, Mobius the tomb
2:41
prospector or whatever, I don't care.
2:43
That's my original title. After fighting over who gets
2:48
what, they suddenly found out that whatever they were looting,
2:51
which was not quite dead yet, or at least not a living, that's
2:55
probably the only person sane or unfrozen enough to finally give
3:03
some answers. Was dug out of a heretical
3:07
casket made from reindeer bones and and the poor impressions of
3:12
jewelry made from teeth of the of the wretched deer that have
3:16
been well decorated in human testicles and then lungs.
3:20
Been stalking our beloved scum for the past episodes and here
3:25
we are. It is cold, it is miserable and
3:28
we are back into Annella on top of the tumulus.
3:32
The Blizzard has only gotten worse as many of you have
3:37
started feeling. Well, except Proval, who have
3:40
somehow grown akin to the elements.
3:44
All the warmth now scorches her immediately.
3:48
So there's a big crack in the lake down there now, but it's
3:51
it's you can almost like watch it, like grow together as you
3:54
see like the flaps of the the Molrus down there, like
3:57
splashing around in the water as a little red spot grows wider
4:02
and wider on the oily surface of it.
4:04
The silhouette of the sign that said warning, no fishing mall
4:08
rust kind of like blows over in the wind and slaps against the
4:11
snow. And yeah, grubs, your eyes are
4:14
probably locked elsewhere on a giant monolith with antlers like
4:21
molting metal that's like twisting and warping against the
4:24
static white that is winter eternal.
4:28
Somehow you feel like it's gotten bigger since the last
4:31
time you saw your ancestors sacrificial altar.
4:36
So what Grubbs is going to do, he's going to kind of, you know,
4:39
brush himself off and holding on to his antler Trident, staring
4:44
off at the the huge monolith. Stone shadow thing.
4:47
The big stone shadow thing, just knowing that there's something
4:50
up with that. What are Oh.
4:52
Sorry, hang on, just. Sorry, I've I've I've been in
4:59
there for quite a while. I had a little shit in my
5:01
throat. What are you guys doing here?
5:05
I'm here to check your pockets. I thought you were dead, but it
5:09
looked like you still got a little bit of spunk left in you.
5:11
Oh I do, and still not paying much mind to the conversation.
5:18
Just kind of staring off at the the monument and the off in the
5:22
background. Yeah, it looks like you're about
5:24
a whole sort of worth of a farm in there too, huh?
5:26
Ain't got a whole lot going on upstairs either.
5:30
What are you staring at? You, you don't see it.
5:34
You don't see it over there, that huge monstrous.
5:38
Yeah, Mobius and I noticed it. We just didn't think there was
5:40
any money in it. What is it?
5:43
It I have a feeling that it's something that my.
5:49
Well, come on, Sonny, get it out.
5:51
I ain't got all this. Look how old?
5:52
I am. Hey, I've.
5:54
Let's listen. That's true.
5:55
My buddy Mobius has told me numerous times that time is
5:58
money. Yeah, listen, listen here.
6:00
You, you, you greasy little fuck.
6:03
I I've been sitting in a box for over 100, some odd I don't know
6:07
how long, at least 100 some odd years.
6:09
So you're well rested then? Cool, spit it out.
6:14
You guys are fucking. You guys are going to drive me
6:17
nuts. I have a feeling already.
6:18
I just met them so. Well, you, you seem to be the
6:22
most sensible one of the group I know.
6:25
Very weird. The quiet little one over there
6:28
staring at Frugal. Studiously avoiding eye contact.
6:35
Yeah, that's probably for the best.
6:40
My ancestors, I'm assuming, are the ones to blame for what's
6:45
going on. I can only assume that shit's
6:50
gotten real fucking deep in the 100 some odd years I've been
6:55
gone. It it has been snowing for a
6:58
while. Yeah, you remember like the
7:00
screams of the fat calves as you chopped, as you, as you chopped
7:05
them up on the the altar to the, to the antlered goddess that
7:10
that you guys were, were worshipping here into Anella for
7:13
for many a generation. Yeah.
7:15
That your whole village is built upon.
7:17
Somehow you've feel like she was perhaps not your goddess after
7:23
all. Yeah, we we slaughtered and
7:27
killed so many, so I'm sorry I. My head is.
7:34
Super foggy. You take a fiber, you think
7:38
about that complex back story and pretty we're going to finish
7:41
off doing the rest of this, this tomb prospecting, if you will.
7:47
All right. Yeah, and as you're looking at
7:48
the other tombs, the other two, Melissa, the the, the lumps of,
7:52
of frozen dirt standing around her in a circle, you see that
7:55
like the, the five others. Well, there's been three other
7:58
chieftains after you, and which means that you can probably
8:02
multiply the amounts of, of, of calves killed by at least at
8:06
least 100. I know if the harvests have been
8:09
as good I'm not going to let anyone else know what the what
8:13
the fuck I'm talking about, but it clear clear soon enough.
8:18
Well, Bonford, fucking grab a body, grab a grab a calf and
8:22
then open one up. You know brewery Bear, you can
8:24
sit right here right next to me. I don't.
8:26
Think I'm going to do that? Yeah, you can also help do a
8:29
little bit of digging instead of making eyes with that over
8:32
there. All right, you just OK, I I
8:35
understand union job and all that.
8:37
OK, I like. To think of myself as a trumpet.
8:39
Thank you. You are.
8:43
Not you stay away. OK, Ryan, Yeah.
8:46
Good, Moby, isn't I? We're a partnership here.
8:49
You stay out of it. And don't get all testy with the
8:52
fine lady, all right? Just OK, I'm going to take that
8:55
keep. Your eye on the prize there,
8:57
guy. I got both eyes on the prize and
8:59
one swivels off towards Trugy while the other one's staring at
9:02
a coffin I'm about to pop open. Yeah, you just get bored more.
9:05
You're attractive, don't you? And well, you're not by the by
9:08
the 2nd coffin yet, but you are about to well another tumulus.
9:13
So why don't you roll me AD four and see what happens?
9:18
AD 4 you says D. 4. 3. Excellent.
9:23
Oh damn, that's perfect. So.
9:25
Upon the second one grubbs you, you notice that this is your
9:29
father. She is currently opening as a
9:33
Mobius pops it open the casket even more rotten and the wood is
9:38
almost like like thin and fragile like hairs 11 So once it
9:41
sweat kind of like damps up some of the surface of the ice and as
9:46
you crack it open, it's it's well containing what seems like
9:50
a completely dehydrated mummified corpse.
9:54
We still see some of the cotton or like the feathers from
9:57
whatever birds they used to fill it as stuffing out from like the
10:00
poorly seamed cracks. The grimace locked in an
10:04
internal gesture like grin. And between his like fragile
10:09
arms is a giant wooden barrel with a rusty copper tap and
10:17
letters, the runic letters 666 embraved into it.
10:21
And it's like clinging to it, like.
10:23
Oh, look at that. It's an old, old time fucking
10:26
wheel wheelbarrow. Nope.
10:28
Hold on, hold on, Look at Oh no, it's just a barrel.
10:32
These barrel makers, they work for hundreds of years, then they
10:35
get paid very little. I'm going to push my way over
10:38
there and grab the barrel. Oh, watch out for my bed,
10:40
please. Hey Finders Keepers buddy.
10:43
Hey, that's my dad, back the fuck off.
10:45
It's heavy and in your two year surprise you still hear like
10:49
like slushing from inside of it like that the liquid.
10:52
Oh, I understand what that sound is.
10:54
I'm. Tapping it, I'm going to, I'm
10:56
going to drink it. That's your.
10:59
Dad. So who's holding the keg right
11:01
now? I said I push my over there to
11:03
grab it, so I don't know if there's anything contesting that
11:06
I. Think it's like a reverse.
11:07
Keg stand. We're just holding it over his
11:08
head and drinking straight from the tab.
11:10
Oh, the shit's pretty heavy. So like holding it up and and
11:15
controlling kind of like, well, the intake because you're I I
11:19
think to those of you familiar to Kyrgyz and and and tuna land
11:22
and norf the whole surrounding region.
11:25
This is a keg full of Sarkarsh, like the liquid that basically
11:29
the pre done mix of the drink that that prugal got from from
11:34
Vida, which extremely dangerous in huge amounts.
11:39
So I wanted, I wanted to do like a strength check, see if you're
11:42
able to kind of like just hold it up.
11:43
No, I'm going to help him with this keg stand.
11:46
OK, if you help him with the keg stand, it's no problem.
11:49
I. I love being a good party, too.
11:51
You say some of that. A little bit left for me at the
11:54
end. All right, I'll give you a
11:55
little hand. I'm going to prop my back.
11:57
Up underneath the keg and try to hold it up a little bit.
12:01
To your surprise, the keg is surprisingly warm upon your
12:04
touch. Almost.
12:06
Like that's a good stuff in there.
12:07
Almost like a like a boiling kettle and as you unlock the
12:13
task and the black smoking liquid starts pouring out into
12:19
the face hole of grubs. Doing a cake stand.
12:22
I, I think so I, I if it's if it's on, sorry.
12:28
Your cultures are strange and alien to me.
12:32
Yeah, no, it's, it's more it's on Mobius's back so that he's
12:36
just kind of like laying underneath the tap and drinking.
12:39
Yeah, being as Grubs has been in a in a box for over 100 years.
12:44
If he sees anything that resembles food or drink, he's
12:47
probably going to chop with a bit to it, so.
12:50
All right. I have two roles that I want you
12:53
to make in that case, number one, what is your, what is your
12:56
strength? I hope it's high, your
12:58
toughness, your toughness at. My toughness is at -1. -1 All
13:02
right, that means that already on the 1st roll you can make a
13:06
check against ADR 16. 16. On your second roll, roll a new
13:12
character. That's a 5 on the die.
13:17
So that's going to be a Thor that's going.
13:19
To be a Thor. Would you like to spend an omen
13:21
on that? You feel the welcoming touch of
13:25
smart cars like a smoke and the smell of like burning ancient
13:29
frozen flesh is starting to like melt inside of your mouth and
13:31
just as a dark tar like extremely alcoholic is it.
13:35
Like Sunny, please tell me oaky afterbirth.
13:38
It's boiling after me. What?
13:41
What's that? Statue in your mouth.
13:43
I'm going to burn an omen. Sounds clever.
13:46
Yeah. Mobius, he's drinking our
13:48
profits. Oh hey, look, we all need a
13:51
break. It's been a long one.
13:52
We got plenty of fucking coughing to go through.
13:54
He only get one relative right? That's why I say.
13:57
That's a three on the die, so it's a 2.
14:02
I think he might be fucked anyhow all.
14:06
Right. How many how many points you
14:09
got? I have 10.
14:11
You have 10? What?
14:12
Yeah. Yeah, the fucking beast.
14:14
Jeez. I'm going to be nice and say to
14:16
take D8 damage. D8 it is.
14:20
OK, that's a 5. So I'm at 5.
14:28
Five, all right, So it like burns and I think like your,
14:31
your, your lower jaw is left almost like, like you lose a
14:35
couple of like connecting muscles as it burns away at the
14:37
sides of your mouth. Could it be like as I'm drinking
14:41
it, it's like burning underneath my tongue through my jaw.
14:44
So it's like every so often my tongue might just come out the
14:47
bottom of my. Yeah, and it's like, it's what,
14:49
what you're not managing to like, ingest is like, is like
14:53
pouring down and like corroding your skin underneath it as you
14:58
gurgle and scream, as you're, you suddenly feel very much
15:01
alive again in the most painful way.
15:06
Oh, this is oh God, that fucking hurts.
15:09
All right, who's in? And you can also make me AD six
15:12
check there is a one in six chance something happens.
15:16
I got a one. Oh damn.
15:23
All right, this is definitely like like like a weird grubs
15:25
episode. So as this is happening, you see
15:29
that like the others around you are like reaching for you but
15:32
kind of obscure and a fog as the smell of the spirit becomes like
15:38
so strong it dulls the senses of the reality around you.
15:43
Almost like a red misty sauna starts like surrounding you,
15:49
reshaping reality and you see a dark silhouette and a steam in
15:55
front of you worldwide and very pointy teethed grin.
16:02
Stretching just a little bit too far between his two unnaturally
16:08
long horns is a top hat that he tips slightly.
16:14
You're not completely able to make out his features as you're
16:18
extremely wasted right now. And you can roll me AD 2D6
16:23
actually, and tell me the result of each somehow, somehow.
16:27
Turn him on the side, he's OD and.
16:30
It's a three and a one. SO3 and A1 all right, you see
16:34
that like the shadowy silhouette this like tilting his head with
16:37
like a like a crack and you're like ambient kind of like fiddle
16:41
playing in the background somewhere, somewhere from the
16:43
from the scheme. Well, well, well, Ben had a good
16:48
sleep. Not as restful as I would like
16:52
it it had been. You know early early bird gets
16:57
to grub, so to say. Clever.
17:01
I was wondering when I would see you, I thought it would be the
17:05
the short one with a squeaky focus.
17:07
But here you are a an encounter with destiny or opportunity so
17:13
to say. And how would you like to punish
17:18
your Saints, your burn and very courageous taste buds with
17:25
something's more barking? And he stares kind of like your
17:30
tongue, you see, like his eyes as he says that kind of like
17:32
widens into two, the red burning eyes as they form into one at
17:38
the center of his forehead, staring very determinedly at
17:42
your tongue. Well, as he's saying that, I'm
17:45
going to kind of rub my chin and then realize that my tongue is
17:47
sticking out the bottom. So I'm going to kind of push it
17:50
back up in there and be like holding my tongue up there to so
17:54
I can actually speak. I yeah, I think that'd be I'd
17:59
probably be a good idea. And he's, he like tips his hat.
18:04
You hear like, almost like someone pulls like A1 arm bandit
18:07
that I can see, you know, you hear like coins clinging all
18:11
around here as his his grin grows wider.
18:16
Excellent. You know, I knew you were true
18:18
opportunist smiley eyes on you and let's just say that nothing
18:22
is nothing is free in this life and well, if if I am to offer
18:28
you this is very. Low and he holds up like a
18:31
tongue and it's it's like dripping in blood, but you see
18:34
that it's made of silver. It's like slopping around like a
18:36
worm in his hand as he's holding it up.
18:40
I would like it was an appropriate price.
18:44
Oh yes, a song A. Song a song.
18:48
A Drinking songs in my honour. A day drinking.
18:53
Yes, that would be very. Equivalent like even though this
18:56
this person seems familiar, like you heard his fiddle and his
19:00
name is almost like the tip of ear burnt and very like swollen
19:06
tongue. He is like, it's like he's
19:08
blurred from memory, like a like a drunken, shameful night that
19:13
is best left forgotten. A song.
19:15
A song. A.
19:16
Song. Like do you need that like right
19:20
now or do I have like? Whenever during your your pet
19:24
food life but. I mean, I I'm sure I could.
19:29
I could come up with some sort of Jingle at some point.
19:32
I mean, I mean, you don't need it right now.
19:33
I, I, I'm, I'm sorry, I, I just woke up not too long ago from,
19:37
you know, whatever happened And I'm, I'm a little foggy right
19:41
now. So there's a lot going on and
19:44
I'm still trying to process this.
19:45
I don't know who these assholes are and I'm more why they're
19:49
here. Assets, yeah, just like, just
19:54
like this little oh, where is it?
19:56
And you, you can feel like suddenly something like carving
19:58
its way into your throat as you see like just blood splashing
20:01
out of your mouth as an intense pain kind of like strikes,
20:05
freezes like. Wait, where do that little devil
20:08
go? Oh, there we go.
20:09
You see like glitter underneath the splash of blood as you see
20:13
the tip of a tongue trying to like carve its way into the root
20:17
of the old one as it seems like on the edge of the the capitated
20:21
silver tummy, it has teeth which is currently now digging into
20:24
your flesh tissue. He's choking.
20:34
He's choking. I'm going to start giving him
20:35
the Heimlich. Well.
20:36
That hold on now, wouldn't he? He's got, he got some weird
20:39
little fucking tapeworm trying to crawl up and then he's going.
20:42
I. Understand where that fucking
20:43
came from. Hold his teeth open so we don't.
20:48
Bite it off again as as the booze devil or barm salt is
20:53
fading away into the drunken haze, you hear his last words or
20:58
something, as if they echo or something like.
21:02
And regarding the regarding the King, the Jingle, the Mary
21:06
melody, anytime, anytime between, well, it's one to three
21:12
episodes will be a quick one. And yeah, you, you, that's the
21:20
pain kind of like overwhelms you.
21:21
You see your your well, these these assholes who dug you out
21:24
of your, your cold slumber. Kind of like standing over you.
21:29
We're trying to like, restrain him and stop him from having
21:32
this seizure or whatever. I'm imagining we witnessed him
21:35
just kind of drunkenly thrashing about during all of that, so
21:38
we've been trying to stop him. It's 606 to 6% alcohol mixed
21:42
with coffee, so you can imagine what that does to you.
21:44
There should be a table for that now that I think of it.
21:46
There she all right as I come out of my my drunken stupor and
21:53
see these guys are trying to hold me down and kind of look at
21:57
them kind of push them away. He's like, what is going?
21:59
What what the hell are you guys doing?
22:01
Stop touching me. You have to hold still.
22:03
Hold still. Hold still.
22:05
You're choking. You're choking.
22:07
I'm fine. I'm fine.
22:11
I think you got to break his ribs to restart his heart.
22:14
My body, my choice. Knock it off, Get away.
22:17
Somebody give a mouth to mouth all.
22:19
Right. No, I don't want to put my mouth
22:20
on that. I just, I just witnessed a whole
22:23
lot of bullshit coming out of there.
22:25
And they have to. Snap up on the back.
22:27
That's how they do it, Mobius says.
22:29
You're kind of like, well, standing there and and and
22:32
evaluating how much this corpse is worth, you can't help but
22:37
spot out that his tongue has kind of like grown and has
22:41
epileptic drunken fit under like a silver like almost like
22:45
reptile tongue that lashed was wildly a little too far out of
22:49
his mouth. Like his his tongue is a bit too
22:51
big for his lips. He's been licking the wrong
22:53
balls, haven't you, son? I've seen that before.
22:56
It ain't good. You only get that from one place
22:59
and that's between two thick. Walls.
23:01
It also increases your presence by plus one permanently.
23:04
The tongue and. It's worth 300 silver.
23:07
Oh, I'm going to rip. Mobius will remember that.
23:12
Hold him down, let's rip that shit.
23:13
Out of him now Pruegee Bear. We can't assault a a well paying
23:17
customer. He's going to have to pay for
23:18
the services rendered and we just saved his life.
23:20
He owes us big time. Mama needs new parent shoes.
23:23
Back off, Pruegel, we saw it first.
23:26
I've never seen this side of you, Bongfried.
23:28
I'm concerned that you're bringing in an additional
23:31
person, which means less for us. You know Moby scares get a
23:34
little lonely. They're saying it won't.
23:37
It won't affect your bank account.
23:38
You, you deal with that after we get paid.
23:42
OK, fair enough. I I can keep my eye on the prize
23:46
anyways. I'm going to pop open a food
23:48
coffin. You know, I feel lucky, son.
23:51
Give me a a default check there. 1.
23:55
Oh yeah, so as you like, pop it open, like just feeling like the
23:59
corpse rush as I guess we'll call it, running through you the
24:03
ground gives an underneath you as you do you wear a hat.
24:09
God I would like to think it's kind of like a leather leathery
24:12
skin type one with like weird little flaps.
24:17
The flaps kind of like, like well, flaps in the wind that the
24:20
ground gives them underneath you and you fall down into a big
24:25
trap. I did what now?
24:28
And it deals you. Let's see.
24:31
As he starts to fall, can I try to grab him since I'm there
24:34
helping him dig? This is so funny.
24:36
If I do fall I actually I take half fall damage in in any
24:42
situation because of my complex back story all.
24:45
Right well, it's pretty it's it's a pretty, pretty shortfall
24:48
and you soon realize that that they they they surely didn't
24:51
know they were messing with Mobius the prospector.
24:55
That is, until you realize that it's a wolf pit and the spikes
24:58
inside kind of like, well, pales into your legs and you can give
25:02
me an agility check. Dr. 10 to of a divorce harm.
25:07
All right. Is my business partner assisting
25:09
me in this? He sounds terrible.
25:11
Yeah, I. Have a wheelbarrow.
25:13
Yeah, you left that up by the 1st grade.
25:15
Oh. Fuck you take you take D4 damage
25:19
from the first bikes anyway. What?
25:22
How much health do I even have? D4 damage.
25:26
Oh, God, this is not looking good, boys.
25:29
All right, I, I took two from the spikes and I got six on the
25:32
die. Yeah, so you, you hear a, a a
25:35
painful Yelp from a heart from a wounded animal from down in the
25:39
pit bone for it as you as you as you pull, you see that this is
25:41
going to hurt no matter what. Cause you can kind of like see
25:43
that world 100 year old spiked spiked trap like piercing
25:49
through Mobius's spy. Oh well, that's a that's a new
25:52
fucking hole I've never had before.
25:56
Grit, grit your teeth, old man, and I'm going to try to extract
25:59
him from his his impalement. Now getting out of the wolf pit
26:03
requires another DR10 agility or increases additional damage, so
26:10
let's let's make it countless I. Think we lost him?
26:13
And that would be that would that would be bone Fred that
26:16
would be rolling this one. Oh OK, shit.
26:19
I got a 12. Yeah, that's enough.
26:22
So you, you like pull him out and like, you, you hear like
26:24
kind of like the vacuum of the thigh as it's already like, Oh
26:27
yeah, she's close enough as a little bit of a little bit of
26:32
yellow and pink mucus and blood leaves like a like a frozen
26:37
trail as it's getting significantly colder or
26:39
significantly faster as you, you chug him up.
26:43
Hurts like a motherfucker. Damn it, we were so close.
26:47
I know, I know. We were so close to making tons
26:50
of money and living just a precious life together.
26:52
Proofie Bear, give me one second.
26:55
Nope. Look, you're it's who?
26:59
Who else is going to be around to take care of you after
27:01
everything's said and done? You really think Bomb free is
27:03
going to happen? He's already got his own thing
27:05
going on. I'm here to hold on.
27:07
This thing's bleeding like a son of bitch.
27:09
I have one more ability that I'd like to use that looks bad.
27:13
Over your years of mountaineering, you've learned
27:15
how to treat wounds in the field with a plum.
27:18
You can mend the most grievous of wounds with ADRA Toughness
27:21
Test as though you have a medicine chest.
27:24
Nice, I will accept that. Fuck me, rolls one and kills
27:30
himself. I said toughness, right?
27:32
Oh, I got it. OK, cool.
27:33
How do you deal with this? Like it's a very rough puncture
27:37
that goes at 35° angles right through your head.
27:41
How do I take care of that? Huh?
27:43
Hold on. To paint.
27:45
I have moldering grains as a food source.
27:48
I may be fucking myself right here, but I'm going to spit my
27:51
tabaki juice saliva into a fistful of these molding
27:55
moldering grains and then stuff it into my wound and pack it.
27:59
No, no, you got to disinfect it first.
28:02
Honey, my mouth is the cleanest thing you're going to find
28:04
around here. I don't think that's true at
28:06
all. Come here, let's look.
28:10
Bring it over to the keg. Get some of this on it.
28:13
Oh, you mean like, oh, I don't know, he might have finished
28:16
that off Honey buns, No. There's still some left.
28:18
Bring it over here, We'll clean up that.
28:19
Wound. It's still slushing.
28:21
Dear And I'm actually going to pour some into his mouth to help
28:24
take the edge off you're. Using the.
28:28
Elbow. Oh yeah, also I forgot to
28:29
mention grubs that you're immune to hype from you for the rest of
28:33
the day. Oh.
28:35
Great. So as you're pouring it into his
28:37
mouth, are you pouring uncontrollably or are you
28:40
pouring exactly one shot? Oh, if I could figure out how to
28:44
pour exactly one shot, I would pour uncontrollably anyways.
28:47
OK, cool. I once I see about one shot
28:51
worth go, I'm going to push that barrel out of his face.
28:53
Yeah, what's, what's your, what's your toughness like
28:56
Mobius? Plus one.
28:58
Plus one all right, means you can take two shots before you
29:03
start making the toughness checks.
29:04
So you're absolutely good. You get the first shot into you,
29:08
it's got that burn, and you're pretty sure that no seedy
29:12
mountain Tavern that you've been in so far has served anything
29:16
that burns does not fucking good, and you immediately get
29:19
completely fucking obliterated. I feel fucking fine, yeah.
29:24
Y'all worry about daddy can take one more shot.
29:27
How about the new guy gets up here and.
29:29
You get just the one shot. We got work.
29:31
On this Tapper, my boy, Come here.
29:34
And give me a D6 as well. 2 Nothing happens but you're.
29:39
Well, just a drunk old man. Thanks guys.
29:42
You're you're, you're that guy right now, so.
29:46
Oh man, he's going to be spitting so much game to Pergy
29:48
Bear now. Filters off and you're you're
29:53
you're, I think braless is you're like watching this horror
29:56
show of of medicine and then tomb robbing and PTSD.
30:01
You you do you do see that it is getting darker as the Aurora
30:05
borealists are resting strangely close to ground level and it's
30:09
almost like stretching up like a shadow as it gets darker and
30:13
darker. These like neon like colors
30:16
fading between different hues far off in the distance as stars
30:22
appear and are snuffed out on the darker and darker sky.
30:29
Pretty. Can you describe it to me?
30:30
Smoke em. I can't.
30:32
I can't see my own nostril. I think he's talking to you,
30:36
Paralis. Because like, you see, it's
30:38
getting darker. It's going to get severely more
30:41
dangerous and colder soon. And but I think it's also the
30:44
first time you see the weird hues of a natural cosmic colors
30:49
dancing in the horizon beyond the village.
30:51
Look, I seem to be down the wheelbarrows, so, new boy, you
30:55
want to get in on this, I'll pay you half a silver day.
30:59
Just got to keep the keep the silvers coming, I think.
31:04
I think old Mobius is going to shack out Booty Bear.
31:09
Nope. All right, maybe.
31:11
Nope. Nope.
31:12
I see how it is. Go over there, you're drunk.
31:15
It's time for you to take a break.
31:40
Welcome back to Flat Out of the Face.
31:42
It's me, the real brutal, not that other asshole.
31:45
I think your friend's looking for you over there.
31:46
Brutal. Through his head over that
31:48
casket over there next to all Mobius.
31:50
He's been asking about you all night.
31:55
Yeah. When we last left off, it was
31:57
getting darker after deals were made with booze bevels.
32:01
The night is threatening your livelihoods and revealing
32:07
strange shadows of and colors surrounding Tuvanela while
32:12
obscuring everything else. The strange shore of Borealis,
32:16
like I mentioned is is dancing in the horizon at the foot.
32:20
The monolith its its antlers are growing and twisting and eternal
32:25
pains you. You can not see the mountains
32:27
behind it anymore, only your your nearest days of facilities
32:31
is is is still visible to you, not just because of the
32:35
darkness, but because winter eternal is attempting to devour
32:40
you. Well, it's starting to go to
32:43
nightfall and I don't think any one of us, especially the little
32:48
lady here, is going to make it through the night if we stay out
32:51
in the the elements. Should we find some?
32:55
I mean, we just have that village up the hill that we came
32:59
from, so. I'm looking more towards the
33:02
monolith. That's like fruit, a village.
33:03
But yeah, OK, well. Well, you've been around
33:07
Shawnie. How could you tell me this?
33:09
Is there anything worth going over there at that that their
33:12
monolith for, you know, little prospect and some tomb raid and
33:14
you. Know holy shit he's not drunk
33:16
anymore. Oh no, maybe I'm still drunk.
33:20
Everything works perfectly though.
33:22
I'm a well seasoned man. Oh.
33:24
Jeez, yuck. Yeah, so I think it's good for
33:27
us to shelter at the village for the night, and in the morning
33:30
we'll set out to the monolith, because if it's a religious
33:32
thing, there might be some goods there.
33:35
Mobius. Yeah, no, I agree that, you
33:37
know, I've been saying, saying this for a while.
33:40
You are up and coming. You're going to be running your
33:42
own show and like, you know, 2:20.
33:45
Five certainly will, as long as you you're allowing yourself to
33:48
get distracted and he's going to look over at frugal.
33:53
And a little distraction. I'm not paying attention and she
33:55
looks so fine over there just doing her own little.
33:58
That's fine. Eyes on the prize, man.
34:00
Yeah, I got both eyes on the prize right now.
34:03
Oh, sorry. All right, let's go.
34:05
Rallis, before you were pulled through the snow and chucked in
34:08
a soup. I do believe you also remember
34:13
something about a giant stone surface at the foot of the
34:17
monolith where you got your brains bashed in at one point.
34:21
Yeah, where I died. It happens to the best of us.
34:25
So you guys just went to camp right here by the tumulus?
34:29
So with this being like a a graveyard, is there a like a?
34:33
Small mausoleum A. Mausoleum, Yes, Thank you.
34:36
No, just like like I, as I mentioned, this is like rather
34:39
like Viking esque. Oh, or like rock hills.
34:44
It's like these dirt mounds where they bury like little
34:47
chambers of caskets inside of them.
34:50
There is the forest behind you. Amir would normally be an hour,
34:55
but now it's probably closer to two.
34:57
There is Tuonoa, the village, which is still like, well, we
35:01
still see the pink snow around it even as it's getting darker.
35:05
Well, Balfour and I, we were we were busy working.
35:07
So y'all been to the forest yet? I suggest we Maybe that looks
35:11
closer than anything we go there we.
35:13
Fuck those trees. Oh fuck it, trees.
35:16
More trees. I think they're so great with
35:18
their branches. No, I'm.
35:20
Suggesting honey I'm stuck at squirrels.
35:22
I know we could cut them down, ruin squirrels homes and just
35:26
set blaze and you know, keep warm for the night.
35:28
I don't think I want. To do that that cask.
35:30
Make a little couples lane too. Nope.
35:33
God damn it, no. Yeah, we've got other things we
35:36
need to be doing anyway, Mobius, and I'm going to like kick him
35:39
in the shin a bit. God damn Mobius.
35:41
And I kick him in the other shin.
35:43
What is what is happening right now?
35:45
You know what? I I'm making an executive
35:47
decision. I'm going to head into that tree
35:49
line. I'm going to cut down the tree.
35:51
I'm going to fucking stay warm tonight, Rookie Bear.
35:53
You're always welcome. Come on, Belfry.
35:55
What about you, guy? Fucking braless.
35:57
Are you going to get hired on or what?
36:00
Tom's a fucking ticking. As long as we can avenge my kin,
36:04
I don't care what I do. I'm sure that's somewhere in the
36:07
employee class that we avenge kins and all that good stuff.
36:10
It's whatever. But I suggest I've been.
36:12
I'm a seasoned Mountaineer here. I did this a long time before I
36:16
even start prospecting. I'm just suggesting that we get
36:18
out of the cold because it could be dirty, and then we make our
36:20
way to that monolith. I got some rope anyway.
36:23
I bet you there's a prize jewel at the top.
36:25
It would be nice to sell that. I'll get a little retirement,
36:29
take a little cottage. And to light another fire under
36:33
your poopy butt holes, I think we should roll a do four and see
36:36
if there's a random encounter. It ain't me.
36:39
Thomas, do it. Roll the four.
36:43
Excellent. Like we want.
36:44
Lower numbers for them. Yeah, no, A4 actually means that
36:48
you're safe for now. Well, save passage anyway.
36:52
So we're heading into the forest.
36:54
Yeah, you know, like. The tree line.
36:55
This is like the tree lines that well, as you passed them in what
37:00
seems like almost weeks ago, that's when you first you first
37:04
got here from that direction. But Mobius says you're moving
37:07
closer to tree lines, I guess carrying an axe.
37:10
Do you have an axe? I have a broken wine bottle.
37:13
Yeah, why don't you give me a presence?
37:20
Check. Oh fuck.
37:22
Difficulty 14. I think that's what I'm bad at.
37:24
Hold on. Oh, Oh yeah, I'm real bad at
37:27
that. OK, well I got a six so.
37:31
I don't see shit except like, well, that meager and starved
37:36
frozen corpses of a lot of tall and veiny trees, skinny and
37:42
malnourished naked branches almost forming a cobweb above
37:47
your head because you're bringing onto your wine bottle.
37:50
And these trees might be meager enough to to chop down, but.
37:54
But it's going to take some work.
37:56
I fucking I'll swing my wine bottle on a tree.
37:59
Yeah, it's going to take a little while there, but so while
38:02
you're still high on the spark car switch, which fuels you of
38:04
adrenaline, I'll earned confidence the rest of you, do
38:08
you follow? No, yeah.
38:10
Yeah, I I do. OK, so everyone except brutal,
38:15
Yeah. He said he was lighting a fire.
38:17
I don't want to be near that. Or the trees.
38:20
Or the trees. I'm OK.
38:22
With burning trees, but not with fire or just the trees by
38:24
themselves. Do any of the the wine bottle
38:27
welding so-called lumberjack party have a light source?
38:31
That's what I'm hoping because I do not.
38:34
No. No, it's a futile attempt.
38:38
Who's good at rubbing sticks? I have a scalpel, could I
38:42
possibly find a rock to create a spark?
38:47
Give me a presence check. I want to say 16 fucking hard in
38:52
this darkness but. Here and.
38:54
Everything is covered in snow. Yeah, You're drunk as a skunk.
38:58
It's like. But it's like a 20.
39:03
Hey, shut up. Oh shit, that's 16.
39:08
Oh damn. Yeah.
39:09
So like on the first hit of the little piece of like, well, it's
39:13
like a two shaped rock, sparks flies.
39:16
And I'm even going to say that they fly directly onto the first
39:20
tree that Mobius is about to chop down as a branch starts
39:24
defrosting. And on the second spark, it
39:27
catches fire at the top of the tree like one giant.
39:29
Torch. See, that wasn't so hard, guys.
39:32
Burning down like the wind is almost blowing out in seconds,
39:35
but it is pretty impressive. I'm so drunkenly trying to stab
39:37
this tree. Don't even.
39:42
Get off the brunch. Kind of like branches falling
39:44
down next to your head because you're standing there like
39:46
chucking at it. Got two drunks starting a forest
39:49
fire. I'm in.
39:52
We can go wrong. I stood up for making a snow
39:54
Angel. Take that tree.
39:57
I go back to making my snow Angel.
39:58
I'm new we impressed her one day.
40:00
But as you're, well, burning the tree, I think whoever is not
40:04
completely bucket obliterated right now, that'll be everyone
40:08
who's in the vicinity. That means everyone except
40:11
Perugal, Mobius and Grubs can also give me a presence check.
40:18
That's a four. 15. Great.
40:21
So Rallis, you seem to well be the only one slightly observant
40:26
as you see that this is not the only fire in the woods and
40:29
between the trees. Deep in there you see a little
40:31
like little silhouette with flickering flame fighting
40:34
against the lashes of wind and what appears to be two
40:38
silhouettes getting up as your companions are getting louder
40:43
and louder. They're having a hell of a time,
40:45
Are we? This is great.
40:47
This is the best way to bond. I haven't I.
40:49
Haven't had a You can't fire in fucking years.
40:53
You got name them fucking marshmallows.
40:56
Marshmallows. No.
40:58
No. Hey, you want another hit of
41:00
this jet? No.
41:01
More. No more.
41:04
I see some. I see something.
41:06
In the woods here. What are you seeing?
41:08
What you got going on there? What do you got going on?
41:10
Dark silhouettes, maybe a fire. Maybe we should go check it out.
41:14
Sure you ain't looking in the mirror, boy?
41:16
As you're looking towards do you see that they're like they're
41:19
they're kind of poking something at their fire as you see torches
41:23
lighting up as four figures starts kind of like circling
41:28
around, but only both rallies. You're the only one kind of like
41:31
seeing it before they come close enough as they're they're
41:35
whispering and mumbling between each other and you feel you're
41:39
definitely being hunted, right? I think we're going to die.
41:42
Yeah, I have a good feeling. We're all dead.
41:47
Who's coming? What?
41:50
All right. Well, you point.
41:51
Me in the right direction and I'm going to reach into my my
41:54
butt flat pocket and pull out my slingshot.
41:57
I think they just pulled out of back pocket.
42:00
Nope. Butt flap.
42:01
No, it's dual purpose and dual purpose.
42:03
I'm a man on the go. I got shit to get done, whether
42:06
that's shit or getting shit done.
42:10
If you have two members of your party being wasted, I'll say
42:12
we'll say we'll give you an initiative role and a -. 1 for
42:15
each of you who's completely obliterated.
42:20
So -2 to your initiative role. Good.
42:24
So we got a six. So that's a four.
42:26
Damn. So yeah, brows, you're like, I
42:28
guess you have to like slap Mobius and Grubs in the face a
42:32
couple of times to like, get their attention.
42:34
Focus, look this way, and I kind of point in the woods at the
42:37
torches. Yeah, you see that?
42:39
They're like circling around you, kind of like, almost like
42:41
sharks, but they're crouched back, almost skinny to the bone,
42:46
human figures in the night. Their eyes are like, yellow for
42:49
malnourishment. And they almost remind you of
42:51
someone that you met a couple of episodes ago.
42:54
As you're screaming out, finally, the scent of fresh
42:58
flesh. Oh, the gods have mercy on us
43:04
for our degeneracy. Watch out guys, Hillbillies.
43:07
Yeah, using my echo location, I'm going to aim at the the
43:13
torch that was speaking and let loose of one of my stones from
43:16
my slingshod. All right, that's, that's the
43:18
closest, closest one who's coming out with a spear and a
43:22
torch and you see like the brim of a deer cloak.
43:26
What appears to be a what do we call that?
43:29
A headband made from reindeer teeth.
43:32
His eyes look wild and he has like almost icicles from the
43:36
edge of his Cape. He looks surprised as you
43:39
started aiming. You got a lovely smile, son, but
43:42
I'm going to have to put them teeth out.
43:45
I think I'm going to use an omen.
43:50
Oh fuck, it didn't mean a whole. Lot got an 8 on the die so.
43:55
How do you How do you fail miserably?
43:56
You also have like a -, 2 in all your checks.
43:58
Oh my fuck. Oh my Atlanta.
44:00
OK well I think that I'm aiming at him, but I just fucking smoke
44:05
a tree next to him. Yeah.
44:07
Take that and reveals another silhouette pretty close to
44:12
Bonefrit and who goes next? Jeez Mobius, let me show you how
44:16
it's done. And I pull out my slingshot and
44:20
try taking the same shot at the the same individual.
44:24
OK. That is a 16.
44:29
You head. For four damage.
44:31
Four damage shit. Damn.
44:33
I think that means you kill him. All right, so yeah, it's just
44:38
like lines up that shot and just lets it go and it just like hits
44:42
him right between the eyes and just kind of caves in, like his
44:45
skull right there and it just, his eyes will roll up and fall
44:48
over. See Mobius?
44:49
It's just not easy. Yeah, I know I am.
44:52
I'm going to look at him with my lazy eye.
44:53
I got that one. I did the ricochet.
44:56
I'll watch it for my good eye. Oh God.
45:01
All right there, Who's going next?
45:03
Google? You're out of combat, by the
45:04
way. You're making beautiful snow
45:05
angels there. Just out of fuck the oven.
45:08
I guess braless would go after another one with my glave.
45:12
All right, you run at the one who's apparently wearing an eye
45:16
patch, who came up trying to sneak up on Bonefrid before the
45:21
tree next to her lit on fire. That's not a good sign.
45:27
What is that? There's one, isn't it?
45:29
Yeah, how many is it, Norman? Well, remember that you can only
45:34
use the omen to neutralize the crater fumble, not rebuild in
45:37
that case. Or is it isn't that it says I
45:40
always did it by my table, but like if it's a crater or fumble,
45:43
it's like the only way to avoid the consequences is to actually
45:47
like use it to neutralize. So it's a regular failure, not
45:50
like, but it's up to you guys how you know, however.
45:52
If it's your table, your game, your rules.
45:55
All right, well in that case I will say the re roll thing does
45:57
not apply to to crits and fumble.
45:59
OK, good picks. So I just you don't have a
46:02
natural one that time. Yeah, it's like saving grace.
46:06
How do you fail? I guess when I run up to swipe
46:10
at this guy, I stumble and I'm just running into the tree and.
46:15
Hacking and your glave actually gets stuck in the tree as well.
46:19
Good thing I said that. Right.
46:24
And you see like like, well, like prey stuck in the trap, the
46:28
the malnourished, possibly kind of ballistic herder next to you
46:31
and licking her upper lips as she is reaching for her spear.
46:37
Who's next? That would be me knowing how
46:41
fucking shitty I am right now. I'm going to cover one of my
46:44
eyes just to focus because I I'm sure everything's blurred.
46:47
I'm going to cover one of my eyes and try to focus on one of
46:50
them. And I'm going to charge with my
46:53
with the fingers of Palma and try to spear and or Shank and or
46:58
stab one of these cannibalistic hillbillies.
47:01
All right. And that's a nine.
47:05
Closed with no cigar. Yeah, you wanted to Chuck it.
47:08
Or like no, I was going to just run forward.
47:11
But I the way I see it is, is I I focus on one boat and covering
47:15
my one of my eyes and then once I take my hand down, everything
47:19
just splits and blurs again. And I end up going for the one
47:22
on the right instead of the one on the center, which is the real
47:24
one. All right, now it's their terms.
47:26
And first of all, well, braless, are you letting go of your glave
47:31
in an attempt to avoid the coming blow, or will you hold on
47:35
to it? It will increase your defense
47:39
rating, what you need to defend yourself a little bit.
47:43
I I'm also wearing rusty mail so I'm a hold on to it.
47:47
You're hold on to it. All right, we'll make it.
47:50
Oh, that means 18 then. Yep.
47:53
Oh, my God. Unless you let go of the blade,
47:55
that is. I'm.
47:56
Gonna let go of my blade. I'm gonna let go of my blade.
47:58
All right. Puke, OH.
48:00
My lanta puke. That's just a four.
48:03
All right, I think what happens is that as you like let go of
48:10
your glave and try to like steep away from the incoming sharpened
48:14
sphere, you get the pointy stabby right in your side, right
48:18
between the red bones. The old pointy stabby.
48:22
You crack your teeth together as white snow turns red and the
48:26
night. I don't know if you're a
48:27
screamer but it hurts for D4. I'm out of hit ones.
48:32
That didn't hurt too much, too. Even though these guys seem like
48:37
trained hunters, they seem to be pretty malnourished and
48:40
desperate. They've been out here for a
48:42
while. Their clothing clearly
48:44
reassembles the stuff you've seen other two inhalants.
48:48
I deflected all the damage with my armor, yeah.
48:51
Nice. All right, so it clunks off of
48:53
your off of your armor. In that case, no ribs scratched.
48:58
The other one goes for Mobius I believe, as you can try to
49:04
defend yourself as well. That is a + 2 year defense
49:08
rating view to your severe drunkenness and inability to
49:11
cope with the real and yeah. Well, that's just great.
49:15
That's a natural one. Oh, Jesus.
49:19
I would like to use an omen to reduce that.
49:22
And you can neutralize it all right.
49:24
You can. You can neutralize it.
49:26
I'm so sad. So as you're attempting to swing
49:30
around you, you get a spear poked right at you and it deals
49:35
you D4 damage. Cool.
49:37
That's one. 3. All right, Yeah.
49:40
So it's like a like a scratch on the side of your shoulder as
49:44
you're throwing up balance and falling into the snow.
49:46
And you see like a hunching figure crawling ANO 4 reaching
49:51
for an axe on his back, kind of like with a reindeer skull of a
49:56
necklace tries to take a chop at here.
49:58
And you can try to defend yourself as well.
50:00
Yeah, I'm just going to try to like dodge out of the way so.
50:02
You're like still standing with your bow and like that thing is
50:05
like just running. Yeah, so I managed to.
50:10
I got a 15. Oh.
50:13
That's more than enough. Yeah.
50:14
So yeah, I just jump out of the way and I'm like looking back
50:19
over at at Mobius and it's just, it's that simple.
50:23
Help us into a fall and I can't get up.
50:26
Help me. And the 4th one naturally goes
50:29
at a balance combat in mark board, you know, naturally goes
50:34
at grubs, kind of like leaping out from that shrubbery.
50:39
This one with a with a wild beard and bald head, scars all
50:43
over his face and the runic symbols on his forehead.
50:47
Trying to check out you with an improvised spear as well.
50:51
OK. That's a 15 + 1.
50:54
My agility is 16, and then it's a -, 2 because I'm hammered.
50:59
Yeah, so 14. Just enough.
51:02
How do you how do you evade it? So as I'm running by aiming for
51:05
the one, I get winded and I kind of like bend down and start
51:09
retching a little bit because you know when running drunk.
51:12
And as I bend down the throw up he's goes and tries to spear me
51:18
and it goes just across my back. Beautiful.
51:21
We're a hot mess. Right, so hot next round there
51:26
you want to go first. Let's let's have Walt roll this
51:29
initiative. Yeah, him.
51:30
And in this action, what is what is Prugie Bear doing during all
51:33
this? Just fucking chilling.
51:35
We we cut back to Perugal and she's building a snowman.
51:38
What the fuck, God. She's the worst.
51:43
That's a one. Now she's even worse.
51:46
So what do we have won't roll the damage.
51:50
Just rub it in for all of them as well.
51:52
All right, so first, well, as the kind of like the spear goes
51:58
right above your head grubs you you get up and see it's like
52:02
withdraw as like quickly as it sees like the 20 antler Trident
52:08
on them in your in your arms. It ejects.
52:10
It's again straight towards Adam's apple.
52:14
Oh lovely, I don't want that. Oh, it's a 19 on the die, plus
52:18
one agility. That's a truck stop bathroom 20
52:22
and then the -2 for my inebriation, says 18.
52:26
Yeah, good math. How do you avoid it?
52:28
Still kind of drunk and coming back up, I I kind of stumble
52:32
backwards and the spear just narrowly, it comes within like
52:37
an inch of coming towards my Adam's apple.
52:42
I'm surprised that's still there after all the melting.
52:44
He loses kind of like miss putting on prompt.
52:47
I guess he stumbles a little bit and you see an opening there by
52:51
that bulb. Just go around table.
52:53
I guess Bonefried, he's like you have a very disoriented,
52:58
cannibalistic man and all four running around you in circles.
53:02
I'm just like flinging my slingshot to the side.
53:04
I have an iron rod that I have pilfered out of someone's coffin
53:09
and I'm just going to try and bring it down on his head and
53:13
I'm going to go ahead and spend that omen to turn that one into
53:17
just a failure. What is going on?
53:23
Launch blindly towards him, but well, the fire from his torch is
53:27
disorienting and I do believe that you will have problems
53:30
finding that slingshot after. Good thing your boss didn't see
53:33
that. Your glave is currently stuck in
53:37
the tree braless and you see that you're well you're jousting
53:41
at home and that's currently gotten gotten her eyes on him as
53:45
over your eyes meet and she tries to like launch towards it
53:49
before you get it out of the tree and Chuck at you with your
53:52
own glave. Oh.
53:53
Good. I'll give you a your defense
53:56
check is will rather be to see unless do you want to try to get
54:00
it before her and you can just do like a check to see which one
54:04
of you end up with it because she's not going to be able to
54:06
attack this round. I would love to do that.
54:08
So give me a guilty. 14. 14 that would be even Stevenson.
54:14
I believe you both managed to get your your hands on the
54:17
handle at the same time, feeling each other's breath as you're
54:20
trying to like Chuck it out. Kind of like wrestling each
54:23
other, seeing each other's breath in the darkness.
54:27
Your wild murderers eyes. Mobius, you killed your guy,
54:29
right? Can I say yes?
54:37
No, I'm on my back right now. Yeah, so you're, you're like
54:40
lying there like the nose of the guy who just got like, well,
54:43
majestically pierced through his skull by one of the stones that
54:47
bone Fred, your employee launched at him.
54:50
You hear like the arguments and and pants of Rallis and the
54:54
woman was trying to rip the the clave out of his hands.
54:58
Is anyone attacking me? Not right now.
55:00
I believe all all of them are done now.
55:02
OK so from from my back I can hear braless struggling to get
55:06
that clave and I'm going to. From my back, I'm going to I'm.
55:10
Going to turn and and be over my head upside down and shoot shoot
55:15
the one trying to get the glave from braless all.
55:18
Right. Like a truck stop 0.
55:24
That's a one isn't? It no, I got a 2 but I think my
55:28
presence is -3. Yeah, you hit fucking braless
55:31
that. Was rude.
55:38
Oh God, this is the strip club and trigger warning all over
55:41
again. Yeah, well, why?
55:42
Don't you? Why don't you give me AD four
55:44
there? That's a that's a three buddy.
55:47
That's also a three. OK, thank God.
55:50
I also get a three. Good.
55:51
See, Yeah, you see, like basically your your employer
55:54
firing a a rock at your head that hits off the that hits off
55:57
the armor is terrible at Amy. That's my bad.
56:01
You should. Really get.
56:02
That wonky eye fixed. Yeah, I know it's been a while
56:05
since I've been in the village, but just don't mind me.
56:07
And it's you guys. I want to try to take this sword
56:11
and slice them with it, so whatever I got to roll.
56:13
So you can attempt to do so with this kind of check.
56:17
Fuck was that a truck stop block lizard -2 or something like
56:22
that? So it's a four, It's just a
56:25
four. So I don't retrieve my weapon.
56:28
No, she's going to get it. Wonderful.
56:31
And she will check you with your own weapon next round.
56:34
What I'm going to do is I'm going to take the fingers of
56:36
Kalma and I'm going to hold it forward and try to use his
56:41
momentum to stab him as he's trying to stab me.
56:45
And he said Dr. 12 in your drunken state, normally at 10,
56:50
OK, Or you don't get you like you don't get the minus
56:55
basically because he's off guard.
56:57
So yeah. Well, that's that that's a
56:59
that's a four. So I'm going to I'm going to use
57:02
an omen. Try that again.
57:05
OK, well, that's a 5. So that's a miss.
57:09
So the way I see it is as he's as I'm going to stab him, I lose
57:14
my balance. Like my knee gives out because,
57:16
you know, I've been in a crib for God knows how long.
57:19
Everything's still a little creepy.
57:20
My knee gives out and I end up going just to the left of them
57:24
and missing with the stab. Just to the left of the space
57:27
next time as you fall over him and you're both now stuck in a
57:29
bristle. Oh, we're grappled, OK.
57:31
Just make things interesting. I like to get things things up
57:34
close and personal. No, boners not.
57:38
Yet anyways. Yeah, there's there's still
57:40
time. Yeah, bone fraid.
57:42
I'll continue swinging with this this iron rod that's a 13.
57:48
Oh, no way, you're not drunk. Good.
57:51
Guess you hit. Yeah, for three.
57:56
All right, Yeah. So at this point, basically
57:58
Bomford is just like grabbed a guy by his throat and just
58:01
doesn't like cure frustration at the lack of professionalism from
58:06
Mobius and is just taking this frustration out and using this
58:09
metal rod and just caving this guy's head and repeatedly.
58:14
Oh my gosh. Well, you should.
58:16
Have listened to the Heredex. Go follow our mistakes.
58:22
He says. Says he's like like lungs filled
58:24
with blood. Then his nose becomes part of
58:26
his mouth and then he turns into like a like a like a very muddy
58:30
Picasso painting and he keeps slapping.
58:34
I thought the major management courses would have helped you
58:37
out there. Bonford.
58:38
I'm not here to fight, I want to make profit and just be done
58:43
with this place. I'm cold.
58:46
My boss is an idiot. And.
58:49
Just. God soup.
58:51
Yeah, I see that there's like a, there's like a little bit of
58:54
what, like skull connected to the neck there, but it looks
58:57
more like a, like a jellyfish of like flesh tendrils, kind of
59:00
like, just like, just like hanging out there as you keep
59:03
bashing this guy's skull and cursing the fact that, that
59:07
Mobius doesn't have an HR section.
59:12
Yeah. Another initiative checked.
59:14
Walt, what do you do? The honours sweetly -2 still.
59:18
Then that's a 0. Cool.
59:21
All right, that means a rerun, but there's only let's do let's
59:25
really do a wrestling party or the the the treacherous axe.
59:29
We should go first. I think we'll go for let.
59:32
Me die quick. Just all right, hit me with that
59:35
thing. There's no way you're going to
59:37
die. No way.
59:38
So you see your clay being ripped out of your hands as I
59:41
see your own surprise eyeball. Less expression and it's mental
59:46
as she's about to swing it straight towards you.
59:49
Give me a give me a dodge check for Alice.
59:52
Oh my. So can I use an omen to reroll
59:56
that one? You get a one.
59:59
It's two. Yeah, you can use it really
1:00:00
well. OK, good.
1:00:02
That is a 19. Nice.
1:00:05
All right, so she like, swings it towards you, tempting to
1:00:08
decapitate your skull. What do you?
1:00:10
Do I just roll away and hop back on my feet and get ready to
1:00:14
pounce on her my next turn? All right, let's wrestle around.
1:00:18
So yeah, a couple of clammy and Bony hands wrap around your your
1:00:23
neck, trying to top dog you as you see like you're I shall no
1:00:33
longer feast on our calves. The human flesh is the only is
1:00:38
the only pure source of nourishment as he tries to bite
1:00:42
you with his teeth straight on your nose.
1:00:45
No, thank you. Gross.
1:00:48
That's 17/18/16. Yeah, that's good.
1:00:54
So how to get a mafia? You can even get out of the
1:00:57
grapple now if you lose. What I'm going to do is I'm
1:01:01
going to take as he's coming down to bite, I want to take the
1:01:04
fingers a comma and hold it over like my head so he ends up
1:01:07
biting the the shaft of the Trident.
1:01:10
And what I'd like to do is take that and quickly turn it while
1:01:16
he's biting down to possibly like snap his neck.
1:01:20
It is your turn now, so why don't we see if it works?
1:01:22
Oh, OK, so on my turn, we already know what I'm doing.
1:01:24
All right, That is a 12 -, 1 is 11.
1:01:32
That's good enough. You're right.
1:01:33
You're you're both rattling so. Oh.
1:01:35
Beautiful. And then so that's not like a
1:01:38
stabbing attack, is it? Just like that's.
1:01:41
An armed combat, but these guys are pretty frail so let's see
1:01:44
how it goes. D4 then?
1:01:45
Yeah, OK. That is A2.
1:01:49
I don't manage to snap the neck, but you hurt him breathe badly
1:01:52
as you're like, well, twisting him when you're here.
1:01:54
Like he just gets like like he's been sleeping uncomfortably or
1:01:57
something. He like kind of like crack,
1:01:59
crack it like out of joint a little bit as he's like his
1:02:01
torso gets like twisted and locks.
1:02:04
He's like, oh, my ass bone. I think he stump stumbles
1:02:09
awkwardly animated, trying to like, like reach his spine to
1:02:14
relock himself. Next is Boneford.
1:02:19
Yeah. Boneford is basically going to
1:02:23
start looking for his slingshot now while yelling at Mobius to
1:02:27
pull his head out of his ass. Give me a presence check and see
1:02:29
if you find it. It's dark.
1:02:32
That is an 11. 11 there is a burning torch next to you.
1:02:35
Difficulty rating is there for a tenancy.
1:02:37
Find it. I find it but are not able to.
1:02:39
As you pick it up. You're not able to load it and
1:02:42
shoot in the same round. Mobius when you're done playing.
1:02:45
I told you I can't get up. And I'm going to take aim at the
1:02:48
one that Grubbs had just manhandled off of them.
1:02:52
And I'm going to fucking launch one of my rocks.
1:02:55
What do I need again? You would need with current
1:02:58
level of darkness on your drunkenness.
1:03:00
So you need to flock because your minuses from the
1:03:02
drunkenness. I'm fucking drunk, God damn it I
1:03:07
miss. They're pretty close.
1:03:09
Two and six chances of your head. 2:00 and 6:00.
1:03:12
And grubs instead, Yeah, they're right right around each other,
1:03:15
so. Well, I got.
1:03:16
I got because it's agility to shoot.
1:03:19
Yeah. Where is that presence?
1:03:20
Yeah, I got 11. Okay.
1:03:22
So do you want them to roll a D6 and.
1:03:25
Six. And that two, one or two means
1:03:27
you you had grubs. Well, that's a six.
1:03:29
So I shot the last living bird out of this forest.
1:03:34
Yeah, you you're either lack like innocent animal trapped and
1:03:38
this zone of of slaughter and heresy and curses cawing as it
1:03:43
falls somewhere where you can not reach or find it ever.
1:03:47
Indian zone. What non cannibalism sources of
1:03:51
meat in my game? I think not.
1:03:55
What about you? So because this lady has my
1:03:59
glaive now and I'm assuming she dropped her torch and or spear,
1:04:04
can I pick up her spear? And you can absolutely.
1:04:07
OK, let me. Do that.
1:04:10
It's right between our legs. I pick it up and I roll the 15.
1:04:16
Before damage. Perfect.
1:04:18
All the old swooping. Stab the swooping stab.
1:04:22
Yeah, it kills shit out of her and just as she's about to like
1:04:25
turn around and it's easier if she realizes you have her spear
1:04:29
as you're like chucking it out from between her ankles.
1:04:31
Yeah, and I cut her Achilles and she bleeds out.
1:04:37
Just a reedle. Yeah, you see, you see, like her
1:04:39
leg kind of like like gives in. She falls over and like this,
1:04:43
like little fountain of blood paints your your your brown
1:04:47
bones pinkish squirting sounds. It comes sporadically, almost
1:04:55
like a water fountain as she she gurgles and looks at you with
1:04:59
very confused eyes as she starts welcoming the cold again
1:05:03
unwillingly and falls into death.
1:05:07
There's one more guy left. What's Pruegee Bear doing?
1:05:10
Yeah, What's Pruegee Bear doing? We cut to Pruegel and she has
1:05:13
made herself a nice little igloo and she's sitting in there
1:05:16
reading a Harlequin romance novel.
1:05:22
Yeah, give me, give me the last initiative check off combat. 4.
1:05:28
Four, that means you guys. So there is the guy fighting
1:05:33
Grubs. I would like to take the spear
1:05:37
out of it or the the Trident out of his mouth and just kind of
1:05:41
baseball bash him across the head, being as I don't think I
1:05:45
can get a stab and being as it's kind of a longer weapon.
1:05:48
It's true. That's an 8.
1:05:53
If you didn't mind the zest I would have.
1:05:54
You got an 8? Yeah, I'm going to use my last
1:05:57
omen and shoot my last rock for my back and reduce that.
1:06:02
Excellent. OK.
1:06:04
And then D4 damage that is A1. You see like the the runes
1:06:16
tattooed on his forehead must be for for good luck or something
1:06:20
because he almost killed the fucker.
1:06:22
Shit. Can I take my spear and Chuck it
1:06:26
at him? Yeah, his, his nose cracks like
1:06:28
backs up. I'm like, for fuck's sake, we're
1:06:31
just just just drive down a calm, relaxing dinner here and
1:06:34
he backs up work for you. Not on my ass.
1:06:37
Who's your nose? Or is it you're pretty ugly?
1:06:40
And just as that happens, you hear a shoosh.
1:06:43
Fruity air and you're out of omens.
1:06:53
I have one. I have one.
1:06:56
Is that a natural one? No, this is an 11.
1:06:59
Fuck. Man, it's.
1:07:01
An 11 enough. You know what I'm going to end
1:07:03
this misery and say that as it flies through the air and as he
1:07:09
like kind of like in very offended fashion, like smears
1:07:12
the blood off like press crack his nose back at he just manages
1:07:16
to snap the noculate the nose into position, locks eyes with
1:07:19
you as Bradley's newfound spear goes straight through and redoes
1:07:25
the damage as the nose kind of like breaks in another spot.
1:07:28
He's like oh for fucks Then he like balls forward spear locking
1:07:34
into the ground as he slides down like like a running shish
1:07:37
kebab. Like right on top of me.
1:07:39
No like. And as soon as as soon as he
1:07:42
gets to the bottom of that, another rock fucking bounces off
1:07:45
his head. Got.
1:07:46
Him. Finally.
1:07:47
Look at that. Bobby's done it again.
1:07:49
Save the day. That really does look infected.
1:07:58
Daniel, where can we find your stuff?
1:08:01
You can find me on Daniel larilla dot H dot IO.
1:08:05
You can also find Black Antlers on the Exalted Funeral
1:08:08
storefront which will be available for pre-orders in
1:08:12
September if I'm not mistaken. You can find the soundtrack by
1:08:16
Gilliam Morsis on gilliamorsis.bankcamp.com and to
1:08:20
check with me on the World Standard Discord.
1:08:23
I guess, yeah. Hell yeah.
1:08:25
Yeah. All right.
1:08:25
Links to all that stuff will be in the description for the
1:08:28
episode. Awesome.
1:08:29
Thank you. Bye.
1:08:31
Goodbye. Bye.
1:09:19
Hey everybody, Kevin at the in the episode.
1:09:21
This episode features the adventure Black Antlers by
1:09:23
Daniel Carlson with Levi playing gralis, the catacombs St. by
1:09:27
makootie, Jake playing mobius, the indomitable mountain here by
1:09:30
ragos cone, Thomas playing balmprid the depth witch by
1:09:33
bracken McLeod, Kevin playing grubs, the misbegotten relic
1:09:36
play victory guicho and Walt playing frugal the knock backs
1:09:39
by stregelwolf vandenberg. Check out all these cool things
1:09:42
and their respective ex lovers port for entries and the
1:09:44
description accompanying this episode, as well as the flail to
1:09:47
the face episode 29 companion, which at this point is a
1:09:50
mystery. And while you're at it, check us
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out on our social medias, our Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
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1:10:00
make sure to rate, review and share with all of your friends
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While we're at it, if you haven't already, please check
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And if you like what they're doing over there, think about
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joining their Patreon. It gives you access to their
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there. And just for $3 a month, you get
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a Discord access with that. Thanks for listening and we'll
1:10:22
catch you guys next time like you.
1:10:31
Have enough tools for this this job?
1:10:33
Like it's losing down your butt crackers.
1:10:35
No, we have. Intestines we can make.
1:10:37
A we can make. Oh, we can make this work.
1:10:39
I, I I. Never mind, I'm sorry.
1:10:42
Weirded out with it. I'm weirded out by this train of
1:10:44
thought. No, I'm kind of into it.
1:10:50
In my picture, like while this battle is going on, we're gonna
1:10:53
just hear like a battle roar as right in the middle of the two
1:10:56
two combats currently going on with the two pairs of
1:10:59
combatants, we see Grubbs kind of like running and screaming
1:11:02
into the night with a pitchfork. Just drunk as fuck, yeah.
1:11:07
I mean, we've all been there. Oh yeah.
1:11:10
Yeah. I even had the pitchfork.
1:11:15
OK, fat roll so. I'm just bones, so there's no
1:11:18
fat. He said it.
1:11:19
He finally said it. All right, so you mean to tell
1:11:32
me I've got to come up with a damn song for this booze demon?
1:11:37
All right, Well, here we go. All right.
1:11:39
Where did I put my guitar? All right, there.
1:11:43
There we are. OK, all right, here we go. 99
1:11:52
bottles of our Goss on the wall, 99 bottles of our cars.
1:11:57
You take one down, you pass it. Now that's dumb.
1:12:01
All right, let's see. Fuck.
1:12:03
How sweet Neck or Bell help Sweet Necro Bell.
1:12:11
No, no shit. All right, you know what?
1:12:16
We'll wait until next episode to give him a damn song.