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Helping Kids Navigate a Digital World- Part 1 "Screens are Everywhere" · Equipped for Impact

0:08
Nate: Welcome to Equipped for Impact, the podcast designed to assist Christian parents, leaders and educators to raise up the next generation, to stand firm in their faith and influence the world.
0:19
Nate: For Christ, we're your hosts.
0:21
Nate: I'm Nate and I'm Luis, so let's get started.
0:25
Nate: Today, we are tackling the issue that affects nearly every home and that's helping kids navigate a digital world.
0:34
Nate: Because, let's be honest, you know, screens are everywhere, right?
0:37
Nate: I mean everywhere you go.
0:39
Nate: People have screens that just kids are growing up in a world dominated by social media and gaming and nonstop entertainment.
0:46
Nate: Tvs are going.
0:48
Nate: You've got a phone, everything is there, and so, if we're not intentional, technology will disciple them before we do.
0:56
Luis: Nate.
0:56
Luis: Here's the reality.
0:57
Luis: According to Common Sense Media, the average teenager spends over eight hours a day on a screen.
1:03
Luis: Wow, the Pew Research Center found that 59% of them say that they feel addicted to their phones.
1:10
Luis: Yep, and probably the most shocking, and maybe even the most revealing, is that the rate of teen depression has doubled since 2011, with a 150% increase in suicide rate among girls age 10 to 14.
1:26
Nate: Man.
1:26
Nate: That is crazy, I mean, especially when you think about the fact that you know that's coming with.
1:30
Nate: You know the explosion of social media, which was supposed to connect us and make us feel more connected and more part of a community.
1:38
Nate: And then you've got these statistics here, that you feel addicted to your phone and depressed, and these suicide rates.
1:44
Nate: That's ridiculous.
1:45
Nate: So what is the solution?
1:47
Nate: I mean, obviously we're not going to tell you to get rid of all the screens in your house.
1:52
Nate: That's not realistic, and we're obviously hoping you're listening to this on some type of device that I'm sure is connected to a screen, unless you said hey, alexa, play the Equipped for Impact podcast.
2:05
Nate: I wonder if anybody's.
2:06
Nate: Alexa just started going off when I said that I don't know, but you know, the question is how can we train our kids to use technology wisely without it taking over their lives?
2:18
Nate: And hopefully that's what we're going to unpack for you guys today.
2:21
Nate: Hopefully, yeah, yeah.
2:23
Nate: So, Luis
2:24
Nate: Well let's get started with the big picture.
2:25
Nate: Okay, what's really at stake when it comes to technology and our kids?
2:30
Luis: Well, nate, you really hit the nail on the head, because if we, as Christian parents, if we don't train our kids to navigate technology wisely, the world is going to do it for us.
2:41
Luis: Here's what's crazy, right?
2:43
Luis: So school age kids now like they don't know a world without iPhones.
2:52
Luis: Nope, like like that's just been the norm, right?
2:53
Luis: Like you know, we didn't know a world without television, but I mean now, like kids don't know a world without iPhones or streaming.
3:00
Luis: Yeah, you carry your TV in your pocket, absolutely.
3:02
Luis: And I recently read about a mom, and she was talking about her 10-year-old son who started waking up at 5 am.
3:09
Luis: And so you think, hey, that's actually really good, but he wasn't waking up early to pray, he wasn't waking up early to read his Bible.
3:14
Luis: He was waking up early because he wanted to check his video game stats.
3:18
Luis: He wanted to see how he was doing because of the leaderboards and everything that goes into video game To see if somebody beat him overnight or what yeah.
3:27
Luis: And so every morning, before the sun even came up, his first thought wasn't about God, it wasn't about getting ready for school, it wasn't even about eating breakfast, it was about his score on his video game, it was about his screen.
3:41
Luis: And that's how deep the grip of technology can be.
3:45
Luis: And, honestly, he's not alone in that.
3:48
Luis: I mean, I'm sure there's probably parents that are listening to this that are thinking like that's my kid.
3:54
Luis: They may not wake up at 5 am, but they're constantly checking something on a device.
3:59
Nate: Yeah, and you can substitute in instead of game stats, maybe it's likes or comments, or you see what's going on.
4:05
Nate: I mean, honestly, there's a little confession time.
4:07
Nate: Like you know, I've seen that before, you know, in my own life.
4:10
Nate: It's like you post something that you think is really cool and you're waiting to see, like, oh, are people going to look at it?
4:16
Nate: You know how many people have liked it.
4:17
Luis: Who's?
4:18
Nate: seen it.
4:19
Luis: It can be a deep grip on your life, and I think about just me personally.
4:25
Luis: Like you just mentioned for yourself, I've made the decision recently to not be as active on social media.
4:33
Luis: So, I have Facebook, I have Instagram.
4:35
Luis: Those are the two that I've used.
4:37
Luis: I have Twitter, but I had intentionally chosen not to be on Facebook.
4:42
Luis: Much Occasionally I'll get on there and lurk, but I've deleted the app from my phone.
4:47
Luis: I've deleted the app from my iPad.
4:49
Luis: I have to intentionally go to Facebook to check it out.
4:51
Luis: The other day I had something that was on my heart and I posted it.
4:54
Luis: But after I posted it I regretted posting it because immediately as I posted it I had that desire to see who liked it, who commented on it.
5:03
Luis: And I've been fighting that urge to go on my own page and I'm thinking like I'm a 39 year old man, like I don't need validation on my Facebook post.
5:11
Luis: Imagine being like a 14 year old girl that posts something like that Right, right, the pull.
5:17
Nate: You know, you don't.
5:17
Nate: You don't have that self-control, you don't have that development, and so you're even more likely to give into some of those dangers.
5:23
Luis: And so earlier we talked about some of the statistics with teenagers about spending eight hours a day on their phone.
5:30
Luis: But it's not just teenagers Preteens 8 to 12-year-olds are spending over five hours a day on a screen Wow.
5:39
Luis: And so it's not just affecting teenagers, it's affecting kids in second and third grade, and over 80% of Christian teens say that their worldview is shaped more by YouTube and TikTok than by the Bible.
5:53
Nate: Wow, wow, yeah, I've heard that the average teen checks their phone over 150 times a day.
6:00
Nate: Like, okay, here we go, I'm pulling up my phone.
6:03
Nate: Yeah, we're going to look at it.
6:04
Nate: Look at the screen time.
6:05
Nate: If I can find where it is, I even have to find it.
6:08
Nate: We're going to see how much I have picked up my phone this week.
6:12
Nate: Where are the pickups?
6:14
Nate: Look, I can't even find it because I don't even know where it is.
6:17
Nate: Now, all right, my average screen time.
6:20
Nate: Here we go from this past.
6:22
Nate: We'll do last week.
6:27
Luis: Last was uh, an hour and 16 minutes, that's great.
6:28
Nate: You know, I feel like I'm doing good, I don't know how many pickups are on here, but uh oh 77 was my average 77, 77, so I'm doing better than the average teenager.
6:35
Luis: Um, so I would hope so.
6:36
Luis: So if you're, if you're, a parent and you have a kid with an iphone, you can, you can check that out.
6:41
Luis: Yeah, and actually I think we're going to be putting together a document that gives you some of this information on how to do it.
6:47
Luis: Yeah, we'll explain that a little bit later.
6:49
Nate: On an iPhone In this podcast because we want to give you guys resources.
6:52
Nate: We're going to put together a document that we can have.
6:55
Nate: We'll link to it in the show notes where you can get there and you can know where to get some of these, just to check up and then also how to put some restrictions in place.
7:03
Nate: When we talk about that a little bit later.
7:05
Luis: Now, nate, you were telling me about a book that you read called the Anxious Generation.
7:09
Luis: So I know that the American Academy of Pediatrics says that there is a link between excessive screen time and academic performance, how that drops, how anxiety rises and even how kids are having sleep disorders.
7:23
Luis: So you want to talk about that.
7:29
Nate: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
7:29
Nate: So the Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt.
7:30
Nate: We'll link to that in the show notes too.
7:31
Nate: And just beware, this is not written from a biblical worldview.
7:33
Nate: In fact, he's got a whole chapter where he talks about using Luis religious language to explain how to get away from some of the pull of this screen and what he calls the phone-based childhood, and he's explicitly states in here that he is atheist.
7:50
Nate: But the research there, from just from a research standpoint he he talks about the, the effects of screens on our lives and kids, like we just talked about.
7:58
Nate: You know they're growing up in what he calls a phone-based childhood where, like Lewis, you and I grew up like, hey, you go out in the woods and you disappear for several hours until your mom calls you back for dinner and that was kind of the way we grew up.
8:12
Nate: And now our kids it's like they go off for a couple of hours and get lost in their screens and just what that's done to affect them.
8:20
Nate: The anxiety that comes from not being able to form good social bonds, the dangers that are lurking online We'll talk about a few of these as we go a little bit further in this episode and just really the effects of growing up in a screen and how that's changing and rewiring our brains is not the way God designed us to be, and so that's a great read.
8:44
Nate: If you pick that up, just know it's not written from a biblical worldview.
8:48
Luis: And it's important to know that we're not bashing technology.
8:51
Luis: No, not at all we love technology.
8:54
Luis: I mean, we're recording this on MacBooks.
8:57
Luis: I've got an iPhone, I've got an iPad.
8:58
Luis: I mean, Nate, I think you and I are pretty pro-tech right.
9:02
Nate: Yeah, definitely.
9:03
Luis: And we're pretty, I mean we're probably not on the cutting edge of technology.
9:06
Nate: I used to teach a robotics class.
9:07
Nate: Yes, yes, so you can't just say that I'm against technology, for sure.
9:10
Luis: And so it's not that this is just a tech issue, it's really a discipleship issue, right?
9:15
Luis: So Romans 12, 2 reminds us do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.
9:23
Luis: And technology isn't bad, but if we as parents, if we as educators, if we don't disciple them, if we don't train them, if we don't disciple them in wisdom, then they're going to be shaped by the culture instead of Christ.
9:40
Luis: They're going to be shaped by what the world is telling them.
9:43
Luis: So, parents, I just want you to imagine, right, what if you could see exactly how the digital world is shaping your kids.
9:51
Luis: Imagine that there was a report card, not of their grades, but of their spiritual health.
9:57
Luis: Who's discipling them more?
9:59
Luis: Tiktok or the Bible?
10:02
Luis: Is it?
10:03
Luis: Is it their favorite YouTuber, or is it their parents?
10:06
Luis: Is it their church?
10:07
Luis: Is it their school?
10:08
Luis: And if we don't ask these questions, we won't know the answer.
10:13
Luis: So we're going to give you some practical solutions and I think, and I think now we want to talk about how do we guide our kids in three areas.
10:21
Nate: Yeah, yeah, so these three areas we're going to talk about, you know, just screen time in general, just kind of taking it from a general standpoint.
10:29
Nate: Right, your eight-year-old hopefully doesn't have their own, you know, instagram account, but you know, screen time in general.
10:35
Nate: And then just entertainment, right, because it's not just social media, it's entertainment, the different things like YouTube, streaming services, gaming, different things that keep our attention, and then social media.
10:46
Nate: So those are the three and this actually is going to be a two-parter, right?
10:53
Nate: So we're not going to get through all of this in this one episode, so you're going to have to stick around for part two, but let's kind of kick it off.
10:56
Nate: Like, the first thing is just sheer screen time.
11:00
Nate: We've talked about this.
11:01
Nate: You know our kids are on their devices all the time, and here's what the research says.
11:06
Nate: We've already talked about this, right, kids aged eight to 12, you know they're spending over five hours a day on screens.
11:12
Nate: They pick up their phones 150 plus times.
11:16
Nate: It leads to poor sleep, lack of focus, weaker relationships, all of these things.
11:22
Nate: And it all comes from, you know, kids who use screens for so many different things, and the research says children who use screens for seven hours a day or more were twice as likely to develop anxiety or depression, compared to those who use screens for an hour or less daily.
11:44
Luis: And that's incredible, right, because the truth is that as adults, we're not much better, right, like our kids are modeling behavior.
11:56
Luis: They see, if we don't model a digital balance, our kids aren't going to see it either, and they're not going to do it.
12:05
Luis: And I'm reminded of the number of conversations I've had with parents over the years, in my role as a pastor, in my role as an educator of kids who are dealing with anxiety, who are dealing with personality disorders, and parents.
12:21
Luis: It comes from their access to technology.
12:25
Luis: Like, I think about when I was growing up, right, I mean, we had television, we had radios, we had CD players, but there was a time in there came a time when we didn't have a screen, right, like I didn't have a bedroom, like I didn't have a TV in my bedroom until I was a lot older.
12:44
Luis: Right, I was talking to somebody recently and it was pretty fascinating, and this was before my time.
12:49
Luis: I'm only to somebody recently, and it was pretty fascinating, and this was before my time.
12:51
Luis: I'm only 39.
12:52
Luis: Nate, you're younger than that, but some of our parents may remember this, or grandparents, if you're listening to this.
12:55
Luis: There was a time in American television where you got to a point where the channel stopped broadcasting.
13:04
Luis: Yep, yeah, yeah, they'd play the national anthem and then static and then, yeah, and they play like the national anthem and then static and then static, and so, like everybody turned off the TV, you went to bed right, like that was kind of a national, uh, bedtime for everybody.
13:16
Luis: Yeah Well, that doesn't happen anymore.
13:18
Luis: Like you have instant access to a screen all the time.
13:22
Luis: There's no, there's no blackout, there's.
13:24
Luis: There doesn't come a time when, when the internet goes off, there's not a time when the phones disconnect.
13:31
Luis: Like you have access to it all the time.
13:35
Nate: Yeah, yeah, yeah, and just thinking about, like you know and we're not even talking about social media yet, we're just generally talking about the the effects of screens Like um, you know it.
13:44
Nate: We already mentioned the the effect on focus right, focus right the constant divided focus between I'm here present in this room with you, but oh, let me check my phone and now I've got divided focus.
13:55
Nate: And if that's what I'm doing a lot of my life, like, no wonder it's hard for me to sit through a sermon where a real life, you know, embodied person is preaching from the word of God.
14:06
Nate: No wonder it's hard for me to sit and have a conversation across the table with somebody, right?
14:10
Nate: And so our kids.
14:11
Nate: The earlier they're getting hit with this, then the harder it is for them to break some of these habits.
14:16
Nate: Another thing we've seen just kind of in our working with students over the last, you know, 15 years, is just the relational component.
14:27
Nate: You know it is more likely for a kid to text their friend than to have a conversation face-to-face.
14:37
Nate: And so the development is stunted, I guess is the best way to describe that, because they're just used to quick, short bursts of messages and that's just on the positive side, right.
14:49
Nate: But think about on the negative side, like the um, the relational things where you and I, you know, if we had an issue at school with a group of friends, we went home and we were, we were disconnected from that Um, you know, and if it was a weekend, it was a whole, you know, three days before we saw those people again.
15:07
Nate: But now that I've got some type of communication where the tension in the relationship is just continuing in a digital medium over the weekend, over the night, over a long weekend, spring break, anything like that and so the screens just kind of make that possible to continue.
15:26
Luis: And as you're listening to this, you're probably thinking hey, I agree with what you're saying.
15:29
Luis: So what does that mean for us?
15:34
Nate: Yeah, yeah.
15:34
Nate: I think that's really important as we get some practical steps, because we can sit here and we can complain all day about what's going on with the phones and things these days.
15:45
Nate: So let's kind of give you four, we'll give you four, uh main things that you can do as a family, um, to help mitigate these things.
15:54
Nate: Uh, the first thing is we would say delay giving your child their own personal device as long as possible.
16:02
Nate: Um, you know, we're not saying to get rid of them completely from the home.
16:05
Nate: Right, they might be able to use your iPad.
16:08
Nate: You know they get on your phone to check something, whatever.
16:10
Nate: But but as far as, like, giving them their own personal device, we would say delay that as long as possible.
16:17
Nate: Like now, louis, you've you've actually gone through this with yours.
16:20
Nate: You know my kids are not to the point yet where they've got their own personal device.
16:23
Nate: Like, what is it like as you make that transition?
16:26
Nate: Like, what are some things that go in that as a parent, the thought process, yeah.
16:30
Luis: I think.
16:30
Luis: I think part of it is making sure, parent, that you remember that, that you're the adult, because here's what your kids gonna say.
16:36
Luis: They're gonna tell you that every child has one right.
16:39
Luis: They're gonna say they'll say, all my friends have it.
16:41
Luis: They're gonna say everybody in my grade using it.
16:43
Luis: And that's not necessarily true, nate, you're going to talk about a resource here in just a second that it will be useful for parents.
16:49
Luis: But, parents, I think it really comes from you understanding your child.
16:54
Luis: We didn't wait until eighth grade, but I can tell you that we took steps to make sure that we mitigated how much access our students had to their device.
17:05
Luis: We made sure that our oldest daughter, like we, like we locked her phone, and we're going to talk about that here a little bit further.
17:11
Luis: We've done it with our youngest daughter, and, and, and we set parameters.
17:15
Luis: And so, nate, you want to talk about that resource that you mentioned earlier.
17:18
Nate: Yeah, there was a and I was exposed to this through that book I mentioned earlier about from the anxious generation and it's an organization called wait until eighth and and that's the website wait until eighthorg.
17:30
Nate: Again, we'll link to that in the show notes.
17:32
Nate: But, um, it's essentially an organization that was created, uh, to uh, help parents band together, right, because they hear that refrain from their kids, but everybody has one.
17:45
Nate: It's like, well, no, they don't Number one and number two if you've got specifics like you know, no, not everybody has one.
17:49
Nate: We're going to band together and say, hey, we as a group of parents are going to wait until at least eighth grade to give our child their own phone.
17:56
Nate: And so, this, you can go on this website and there's a pledge you can sign that basically just says, hey, I'm pledging to not give my child a device until eighth grade, not give my child a device until eighth grade.
18:08
Nate: And then you can go on.
18:09
Nate: There's a page where they have it listed by state the different schools in that state that have at least 10 parents at the school that have um signed the pledge.
18:17
Nate: And so you can go in there and look and you can see hey, you know, um, there are at least 10 parents at this school that are all doing the same thing, so you can't say everybody has one, because they don't.
18:27
Luis: Yeah, and so as we talk about parameters and creating an environment where your kid can have a phone, ultimately you're the parent and so you need to decide what's best for your family.
18:38
Luis: But let me give you some of the parameters that we've established in our home that we've also heard from other parents that are helpful.
18:46
Luis: Create a tech-free zone, so have rules.
18:49
Luis: So no screens at meals, no screens at bedtime, no screens in the car right.
18:55
Luis: So, like in our home, we have a rule in our family that screens cannot be used at the table when we're eating.
19:01
Luis: So when we gather together to eat Parents and kids, parents and kids.
19:04
Luis: Okay, good good, good, yeah, parents and kids.
19:06
Luis: And so when we get together and we have dinner at home around our table, like the phones aren't at the table, if we go out to eat and we're eating at a restaurant, the phones can't be out.
19:15
Luis: Now, obviously we're not perfect and we have to model it as parents, and so my wife and I, we have to make sure that we're consistent in that, and it's not always easy.
19:29
Luis: My line of work sometimes I'm getting texts from people that pertain to my role here at the school, sometimes as a pastor, and so let me be clear, I'm not perfect, but we try to be consistent as much as we can, and so parents create tech-free zones and create an environment where your kids know they don't need to be on their phone.
19:45
Luis: So, whether that's at the table, whether you make a decision that their phone cuts off at a certain time, they can't use their phone after a certain time.
19:53
Nate: That's a big one, that's important.
19:54
Luis: That is a big one, and we'll talk about that here in the parental control apps.
19:57
Luis: I think another parameter here is to set limits that they can use their phone within certain times.
20:05
Luis: Right, because there are ways to make phones stop working at a certain time.
20:09
Luis: So, like my daughter's phones, they don't work after a certain time and so they can only contact certain people me, their mom, their grandparents after a certain time, because I don't want them to constantly be getting that ping of a text message at 9.30, 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock, and so you set limits and there's ways on phones that if they use it for more than two hours, they can't do anything on it other than call the parents.
20:37
Nate: Right, yeah, I think that's important.
20:38
Nate: I love that you bring up the fact that you know the tech-free zones, because that's important.
20:43
Nate: I mean, I think we can understand, understandably, the importance of just keep the phone out of the bedroom, right?
20:49
Nate: Just, it should not go in the bedroom and it should charge at night someplace else.
20:53
Nate: For a teenager there's obvious reasons for that, but at mealtimes it just made me think about Deuteronomy 6.
20:59
Nate: We've talked about that a lot, right, but you're going to talk to your child about these things, these discipleship opportunities, you know, while you walk, by the way, when you lie down, when you rise up.
21:08
Nate: That's all Deuteronomy 6.
21:09
Nate: At mealtime is the time that you can disciple, and if everybody's on their phone while they're eating, then you're not talking to the people right across from you, they're talking to people some other place.
21:21
Nate: It could be another part of the world and it's a divided focus again.
21:23
Nate: So that just protects that discipline.
21:26
Luis: Here's another way is replace screens with real-life experiences.
21:29
Luis: We live in a world today that we're competing with everything, but you can replace the screen time by making sure that your kids are involved in sports, by doing sports together as a family, by doing service projects at your church, by spending time reading or watching TV.
21:47
Luis: Parents, look, we were guilty of doing it when our children were young.
21:52
Luis: Like I remember, when my oldest was born, it was easy for my wife and I to go to a restaurant and we give her an iPad or a tablet to entertain herself while we eat and have a conversation and have adult time.
22:05
Luis: But I look back on that and I realize how disastrous that was.
22:08
Luis: And when I see parents do it at restaurants now, I'm like, oh man, like if they only knew, like, what they're doing.
22:16
Luis: But don't use technology as a way to babysit your kid, right?
22:21
Luis: You?
22:21
Nate: get a free digital babysitter?
22:22
Luis: Yeah, so like give them an iPad, give them a phone, let them entertain themselves.
22:26
Luis: While you watch TV, while you do whatever.
22:28
Luis: Find ways to integrate that together as a family.
22:32
Luis: So, like in our home, sometimes we like to watch the Little House on the Prairie, like we'll watch it on Prime.
22:39
Nate: Wow, the fact that you just made a reference to Little House on the Prairie in a podcast about technology like that just blows me.
22:45
Nate: I'm pretty sure there was a rift in the time space continuum there for a second.
22:49
Luis: But see like it's, 45 minutes of uninterrupted screen time.
22:52
Luis: Now, you know, our girls may have their phone there with them and occasionally they might check it.
22:56
Luis: You know, because we're not living in the little house in Prairie Days.
22:59
Luis: But we try to carve out time where we can sit down and watch that TV together or we find time to play sports together and we find time to do things together where they're not on a screen.
23:11
Luis: I get it, it's easier to just have the screen babysit them.
23:14
Luis: But, man, it is so worth it in the long run to replace screens with real life experiences.
23:21
Nate: Yeah, and I think that's important.
23:22
Nate: Where we think about it's like any addiction, right, you can't just take it away, you've got to replace it with somebody.
23:29
Nate: So even just reading books, that's a good replacement where obviously it's going to help them in school.
23:36
Nate: So us as educators are really thankful if you were to Luis do that.
23:39
Nate: But also you can expose them to good I mean even fiction books, good stories, good ideas, and they're getting something they're still consuming, but it's a higher quality, it's better for their attention and it's a replacement for just you know, kind of our default right.
23:54
Nate: So you've got to find something.
23:55
Nate: Real life experiences, even just what we talked about before.
23:58
Nate: Just go outside and play, you know, take them outside, let them play, play in the trees, climb a tree, things like that will get them away from their phones.
24:06
Nate: So I think really we've mentioned this multiple times.
24:09
Nate: So let's kind of land here, lewis, and again you've got a little bit more experience than I do in this front but the parental controls if you do decide to give your child their own personal device, like what are some of the main things that parents absolutely need to enable on their kids' devices?
24:27
Luis: Parents, let me do a plug for Apple iPhones.
24:30
Luis: We have Apple iPhones.
24:32
Nate: I'm a big Apple guy.
24:33
Nate: I'm sorry all you Android people out there.
24:34
Nate: Yes, yes, yes.
24:34
Luis: Nothing against you, but what I have found with yeah, maybe, but what I have found with iPhones is that they are probably some of the best devices to control your child.
24:45
Luis: So you can set up an Apple screen time that connects to your device, and it lets you control how much time they can be on their phone.
24:52
Luis: It lets you control their contacts who can they contact, who can they text.
24:56
Luis: It lets you set timeframes so they can only use it until 8.30 PM or nine o'clock.
25:03
Luis: It lets you control what apps are even available on the phone.
25:06
Luis: Can they use the Safari app?
25:08
Luis: Can they use the mail app, the Safari app?
25:14
Luis: Can they use the mail app?
25:15
Luis: Group text messages are probably one of the most challenging things for preteens and teens when it comes to their phones, because kids say and do things on group text messages that they would never say or do anywhere else, and so one of the best parts about that is that it lets you prevent your child from being added to a group text if that person is not one of their contacts, and that's probably one of the best features of it, and so we're going to put together a short PDF that, if your child has an iPhone, you can follow some step-by-step directions on how to tweak the settings so that you have more control over it.
25:49
Luis: There's other apps, like the Circle app.
25:53
Luis: There's the Bark app.
25:54
Luis: I'm sure Android probably has some things that you can do as well, but I would encourage you, educate yourself on how to use parental controls in order to protect your child's device from themselves and from others Luis
26:09
Nate: Yeah, that's one of those things that technology is constantly changing.
26:12
Nate: So as soon as we put this, you know link to the PDF out there.
26:16
Nate: It's probably going to be outdated, um, but it'll get you in the ballpark, um, and that's also one of those things hopefully, prayerfully, um, that technology companies will help us as parents out is that it is so many steps to enable some type of parental controls, and it's not like it's an app you actually have to go into, like screen time, and then do this and then do that and then set up a password.
26:38
Nate: It's a pain, guys, but it's a whole lot less pain.
26:50
Nate: Give your child their own device.
26:52
Nate: You need to enable those parental controls so that you know what they have access to and what they're ready for.
26:59
Nate: And we've covered a lot of ground and I think this is a good place to kind of break for this week.
27:08
Nate: Lewis, any last thoughts, um, for, for parents that are listening, uh, as as they're thinking through this, uh, idea of helping their kids navigate a digital world.
27:18
Luis: Yeah, you know, number one, I think parents, as you're listening to this, I want you to understand that that Nate and I were not perfect parents, and I know I've said it before but but we make mistakes, and so what we're hoping to do is to share some practical advice that's hopefully going to help you as a parent and if you're listening to this and you're like I've already messed up, my kid has unfiltered access to their phone, how do I make those adjustments now?
27:43
Luis: Start simple, start easy, have a conversation.
27:47
Luis: It's never too late for you to go to a child and say, hey, I probably gave you too much freedom with your phone.
27:53
Luis: We're going to have to scale things back.
27:55
Luis: Be the parent and don't be discouraged.
27:59
Luis: You haven't messed it up all the way.
28:02
Luis: We serve a God who is a redeeming God that's constantly redeeming us, constantly restoring us, and so there are ways to address it, and I've said it before Parenting is hard, and so there are ways to address it, and I've said it before parenting is hard, and so we're here to come alongside of you.
28:16
Luis: We don't have all of the answers.
28:18
Luis: We certainly are figuring this out as we go along, but hopefully you've heard something today that has prompted you to think about what you can do in your home with your child's access to their screens, and I'm looking forward to the second half of this, when we talk about entertainment and content choices, when we talk about social media, and so I hope you've enjoyed this, I hope you've learned some things, and I hope that you'll begin to apply some of these in your own family.
28:45
Nate: Yeah, and we'd love to hear from you guys what are the specific areas that you all are thinking about, are struggling with, especially as it relates to technology?
28:55
Nate: And so shoot us an email.
28:56
Nate: Podcast at waynechristianorg.
28:58
Nate: We'd love to hear from you, hear your thoughts, hear your questions, see if maybe we can answer some of these online.
29:04
Nate: But also, if you enjoyed this, you think that this would be helpful for another parent.
29:09
Nate: Go ahead and share it with them so that they can learn and grow, and you guys can even band together, maybe sign that pledge on the wait till eighthorg or something along those lines.
29:20
Nate: Just get your own group together.
29:21
Nate: You say, hey, we're going to make a group, we're going to parent our children together so that they're navigating these things together.
29:29
Nate: We've got the support, so make sure you share this Subscribe so you don't miss our next episode where we tackle entertainment and social media and talk through those ideas from a biblical worldview.
29:42
Nate: Thank you all for joining us today and, until next time, keep leading the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence their world for Christ.