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Why Moms Are So Tired (It’s Not Just Physical) · Arise Women of God

• 0:00
  Hey my friend, have you ever found yourself sitting perfectly still on the couch, yet feeling so utterly exhausted that you could cry?
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  And you think, why am I so tired?
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  I haven't even done anything super physical Today you're trying to be a good mom, but you feel completely drained and you want to know what is zapping your energy before you even get out of bed.
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  Well, stay tuned because by the end of today's episode, you'll know exactly what decision fatigue is, why mothers are the air traffic controllers of the home, and how our Savior Jesus Christ gives us biblical permission to stop carrying
• 0:44
  the mental weight of the world alone.
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  Let's dive in.
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  Ordinary women extraordinary Faith Walking with Christ we arise God Strong.
• 0:59
  Hello and welcome back to the Arise Women of God podcast.
• 1:03
  I am your host, Tamara K.
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  Andersen.
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  In our last episode, we talked all about the biological reason behind our exhaustion as women, the cortisol steel and our hormones.
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  But today we're going to cover the mental and the emotional overload that happens as well.
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  Here's what we're going to touch on today.
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  First, I'll share about the 35,000 daily micro decisions we make.
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  Second, we'll talk about how being hyper vigilant can drain us.
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  And I'll share some personal stories about navigating autism and some of the decisions and hyper vigilance that I had to do early in my mothering journey.
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  Third, we'll talk about the teenage mental load.
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  And we'll hear from Wendy Christensen on why that mental weight changes but doesn't lighten as our kids get older.
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  Unfortunately.
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  Finally, we'll look at Paul's invisible weight and what Second Corinthians 11 teaches us about the unseen burden of daily care.
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  But first, let's stop by looking at the actual data behind your exhaustion.
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  As women, we juggle so many things that we don't realize how much mental problem solving we are doing every single second.
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  Women are tired because we are the air traffic controllers of the family.
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  We are anticipating every need, managing every schedule, and scanning the horizon for every crisis.
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  It's easy to kind of dismiss this mental load because it is invisible.
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  But science actually can prove that your exhaustion is completely valid.
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  Researchers estimate that the average adult makes around 35,000 remotely conscious decisions every single day.
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  In fact, we make over 200 decisions just about food alone.
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  But for mothers, that number goes into overdrive.
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  A recent 2024 university study found that mothers manage a staggering 6.71percent of all the household mental load tasks.
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  And when it comes to daily logistical tasks, mothers are handling nearly 80% of that mental labor.
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  This creates something called decision fatigue.
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  Yes, your brain uses metabolic energy to make choices.
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  So by like 4 or 5pm after you've decided what everyone is eating, track school schedules, mediated sibling arguments and planned your weekend, your brain's battery battery is flashing red.
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  You aren't tired because you are weak, my friend.
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  You are tired because your brain has been running a high speed marathon since the moment you opened your eyes.
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  This mental load goes beyond just scheduling.
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  It is about emotional hyper vigilance.
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  Something I did when my kids were younger.
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  And even today, when I go anywhere with our son Nathan, who has low functioning autism, is that I have to constantly calculate is this activity worth the potential tantrum if he gets overstimulated.
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  And so I'm constantly weighing the noise level, the environment, and the sensory challenges that go into every single thing on our calendar.
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  When my kids were little, because I had a few who are runners who would bolt, I had to meticulously pay attention to which parks had fences around them.
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  And if those fences were tall enough so that our son couldn't climb over them and escape before I could catch him, I had to take into account anything that would shift our normal schedule.
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  Because kids on the autism spectrum do not like anything out of their easily predictable routine.
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  To this day, Nathan hates getting wet.
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  Something as simple as rain in the forecast can cause massive drama.
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  I was, and often still am, constantly scanning the environment for triggers before a meltdown happens.
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  Oh, my dear sister, that hyper vigilant state drains your battery.
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  Even when you're just sitting on the couch, you're exhausted because your mind is working 10 steps ahead to keep your family safe and happy.
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  And maybe you're thinking, well, when they grow out of the toddler stage, the mental load will disappear, right?
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  Well, it doesn't just disappear.
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  It just changes shape.
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  Let's listen to my co host, Wendi Christensen share what this invisible weight looks like when you're raising teenagers.
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  And I think it's normal for every mom to go through periods of mom burnout.
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  I myself have been through mom burnout.
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  I have three beautiful teenagers that I love and adore and I really have loved the teenage years, but man, they're stressful and they're a lot and they are a lot to navigate.
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  I've had a daughter that just left for college.
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  We've had many phone calls dealing with homesickness and her feeling not heard or seen or valued.
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  And what do I do in handling this?
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  I've got boys that are navigating first time driving and first time dating and first time relationships and grades and navigating all their stresses in sports and and and having just trying to show up and have conversations and be
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  present with them while you're trying to navigate and do everything else.
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  It can be overwhelming and it can be like overloading.
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  As Wendi said so beautifully, it is overloading.
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  If you're feeling crushed by this mental load, I want you to look at the Apostle Paul.
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  We often think about Paul as enduring massive physical trials, but he had experienced the same invisible emotional weight.
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  In Second Corinthians 11, Paul lists all of his severe external physical trials shipwrecks, imprisonment, sleeplessness, hunger, and absolute physical exhaustion.
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  But at the very end of this intense list, he names the heaviest burden of all.
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  In verse 28 he says, Beside those things that are without that which cometh upon me daily.
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  The care of all the Churches Sister for a mother, this is the exact definition of the invisible weight.
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  Beyond the physical laundry, the cooking and the endless driving.
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  Those things that are without.
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  It is the daily care of the whole house that can exhaust you.
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  That mental weight of worrying about your teenager's friendships, managing your child's triggers, and constantly evaluating your family's spiritual well being, acknowledging that the mental load is just as heavy and perhaps if not heavier than the physical load is
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  completely biblically based on.
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  You aren't crazy for being exhausted when it looks like you haven't quote unquote done anything physical.
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  You're carrying the daily load of your family's world, but you weren't meant to carry this alone.
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  We have to learn to communicate this invisible weight to our spouses or others who help us and hand over the ultimate care to God.
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  Oh my friend, you are not tired because you are failing.
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  You are tired because the invisible weight of 35,000 daily decisions and the daily care of your household is incredibly heavy.
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  If you need a step by step roadmap to start unpacking this mental load and create breathing room in your brain, Wendy Christensen and I want to put our complete digital guide into your hands for free.
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  Down in the show notes below.
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  Click the link to download your free copy of the Mom's Burnout Reset Guide.
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  Inside you'll find our awesome not to Do List worksheet.
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  It is designed to specifically help you take that invisible mental inventory swirling in your brain, put it on paper, and prayerfully figure out what you can delegate, delete, or hand over to God.
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  I invite you to download your free copy today on our website and start reclaiming your mental and emotional energy.
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  My dear sister, your exhaustion is real and the Lord sees every ounce of the invisible labor you are pouring into your home and family.
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  You don't have to carry it all on your own.
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  Turn to Our Redeemer, Jesus Christ, and let him help you carry the heavy spiritual weight yoked to you, and then give yourself grace to rest that beautiful, busy mind of yours.
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  Thanks for joining us, and until next time, may you arise and do it with God.
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  God Strong.
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  If today's episode helped you feel a little closer to God, please like and subscribe.
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  It helps us grow and ensures Heaven's whispers stay at the top of your feed whenever you need them most.