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The Friendship, The Relationship, THE EMMA · Two Takes, One Marriage

• Susan: All right, welcome back. How you doing? Our guest speaker. Guys, this is Emma. She is my friend from work. That's how we met. Yep. And she is here today because Jonah is not feeling that great, but we wanted to make sure we got an episode today. So it's going to be a girl talk. We're going to go ahead and call Jonah, though, for the baseball update. So let's see if he answers. Hello? Hello everyone. Yeah, you can hear he's sick. Okay, so what's your baseball update? ⁓ well, the nightmare continues with our one thing that we did in offseason two years ago, ⁓ signing jerks and profile. He got popped for PDs again today, so he's going to be suspended for an entire season. He got popped for what? For using PDs. Is that like steroids? For performance and enhancing drugs. He got suspended last season for the same thing, but this time it's gonna be for the entire season. So. Dang. don't do drugs, kids. Yeah, don't do drugs. Also, yeah, do we have him for a full season? ⁓ what do you like? Sorry. Like, are we do we have him under contract? Sorry. That's what I miss. Yes. We we signed him last year. Last year was his first year and he played seven games and got suspended for 90. And now he hasn't even the season hasn't even started yet and he got popped again for it. So I don't know what. We should just release the dude at this point because he's not doing anything for it, but getting in trouble. What is what is his position? He's an outfielder. He already knew what I was going to say. Yeah, OK. And there's plenty of outfielders in the world. We can get a new one. Yeah. And then we've been doing pretty good in the spring games. ⁓ Yeah, that's about all the news I have. Just can't catch a break. Injuries, people getting in trouble for stuff like I don't know what the Braves did. To deserve all this, but. Well, hopefully it'll start getting better as as we get closer to the start of the season, which is next month, right? It's this one. Do we think it's a World Series season? No, hard to tell at this point because you're starting rotations. Not what it was we thought it was going to be because two key starters got injured. So we'll see what happens. So the first game is not April, it's in March now. The home opener? Well, yeah, the home opener. like there was games. There's Unless our season starts at home. I didn't. I just assumed your season started with your first home game. I don't know. I don't know why I thought that. We went to the game last year. We had already played for like two weeks. The already been going for two weeks. That shows how much I really know about baseball. Whoops. Not everyone can start their season at home. Some people do, but I feel like you just should. Like, that's how it works. Yeah, but your first game at your first game in high school typically is at your home. Yeah, but you would never stop. The season would never start. if everybody had their first game at home, because they'd be on the field alone. And we would have no baseball. No baseball. Yeah. OK. All righty. Well, thanks, love. Yeah. Hope you feel better. Thank you. Bye, babies. Okay, so that was the update for baseball. If that's what you wanted to see, that's what you got. If you're not wanting to hear the rest of it, that's fine. It goes somewhere else. But we're to get to know Emma first and then we're going to talk a little bit about friendships and relationships and how to maneuver the two and maybe make an effort to have both without losing one or the other. So. All right. This is rapid fire. Introvert or extrovert? Extrovert. Morning person or night owl? Night. Over thinker or go with the flow? Both. Always both. It just depends on the day? Yes. I have to pre-overthink everything. And once I have a schedule in my mind, I'm very go with the flow. That's not going with the flow at all. That's not what that means. long as the flow is my way, that my schedule intends, we go with it. So if someone said, hey, let's go get a burger right now, you'd be like, OK. Or no. Yeah, I would. I am go with the flow unless there should be a schedule. Like if something has been planned out, my brain has to stick to that schedule. nothing has been planned, then I'm very good with the flow. But if there's a plan, there's a plan for a reason. OK, got it. That makes sense. Confront or avoid? Confront. ⁓ I'm an avoider. I'm no person. I know what I am. ⁓ Loyal to a fault or cut people off quick? It depends on who you are and how much. your relationship means to me. If we have had a not so great relationship the entire time, I'm perfectly fine with cutting you off in an hour and I'll never remember you again. But if we've been friends for 12 years. Yeah, and maybe something's just changed recently that's kind of thrown something. Yep. Because like someone can be a great friend and then things in life happen. Like stress happens. We all have things going on. And so the person might not be the best or might lash out at you when you didn't do anything wrong, but they just you caught them at like the very moment the whole world was ending. And so I've had some people who have like. That's that's a yeah. cut you off type of thing. There's also certain people that they serve their purpose in your life. And once they've served their purpose, you no longer need them. So it's not necessarily you like cut them off. It's going apart. They're just no longer needed in your story. Yeah, they grew apart. Yeah. A lesson or a blessing. Yeah. OK, planner are spontaneous. planner. Emotionally expressive or mysterious? It depends on what the subject is. I could be a real open book about a lot of things, but certain things nobody should know. Got it. OK. Competitive or chill? I'm very competitive. In everything, which sometimes is not great. No, not always, not always, but that's OK. I feel like I'm that way. and I don't realize that I'm being competitive and I'm like, actually, I really would like to be best at that. Yeah, sometimes I clock myself being competitive, like subconsciously, and then I have to check myself and say, OK, you shouldn't be doing this. Yeah. So. No, because sometimes like you're like, I'm going to do great this. I'm going to be the best this. Sometimes that doesn't always mean good things, especially at your job. Sometimes that means, hey, we think you're so grand because you are being top dog. You should get more responsibilities. Yeah, but no more money. Yeah, no money. But here's all this other work that we just want to hand to you. And it's like, cool. OK. All righty. Coffee or tea? ⁓ Coffee. But I don't really like coffee either. Hot chocolate or tea? Hot chocolate. Okay, there you go. That's what we have to do with Jonah. I love a good hot chocolate. Yeah. Sweet or salty? Salty. Text or call? Call. I'm a text. no. It depends. It depends on who it is though. If it's like a quick little, I just need a yes or no. I'll send you a text. If you are a good texter and you will respond to me in a timely manner, but to have like an actual conversation, I'm calling you every time. Got it. Okay. iPhone or Android? iPhone. I already knew that answer. Reality TV or documentary? Um, I love a documentary. I love documentaries. I love all true crime and history and anything in documentary form. But. I'm a sucker for reality TV. I know that's a hard that's a hard question. OK, city life or country life? Country drive or fly. Depends on how far. OK, let's say you're let's say you're going to California. I'm flying. You're flying. Yeah. But if you're going to Florida. I'm driving. OK. Yeah. Always early or always late? I'm always early. I'm always late or the opposite? No, I stress out if I'm even a couple minutes late. Well, don't ask me to drive you anywhere. No, normally to anything, I'm at least 10 to 15 minutes early and I'm sitting in the parking lot until actually time to be there. No, I'm pulling into the parking lot like maybe two minutes before I'm supposed to be there. That would stress me out. I cannot. I'm just constantly running late, I feel like, though, for everything, because I'm like, I got to do this, I got to do this. And then I start doing something and then I do this other thing. And so it's like. Also, I procrastinate. I'm a big procrastinator. so do I, but if I got somewhere to be, I'm leaving. See, I don't know. I can't. It depends on what it is. Like, like a wedding. I'm on time. Yeah. If it's if it's a big event, I'm on time or I'm early. Like I'm getting there before so that I make sure that I get a seat somewhere. Like the movies or something like that, like. I'm early, but if it's something that I'm like, say, you know, dinner with family, if I'm late, I'm late. Yeah, it is what it is. That's what I going to say. If it's something that like has a time on it, I will be there 15 minutes early. But if it's just like going out somewhere that there's not really a strict schedule on, I'm not like. crazy early, but I'm still there on time. ⁓ yeah, still don't ask me to drive you. I might make you late and you might. Okay, so this is friendship edition. This is big group or one on one. I think that one, it definitely depends on who the person is. Like if I'm not a hundred percent comfortable with you. Big group. But if I am, I can be one on one. So be lucky. You guys get a one on one. You get a one on one interaction because it's like we have a big group. They're just not here yet. Yeah. Okay. Who usually plans hangouts? Do feel like you're more to plan a hangout than others? Yeah. Even even like at my other friends houses, I'm the one that says, hey, do you want to do something? I plan things at someone else's house. I will invite myself. Thank you for your remarks. Yeah, I've. I've been I've been so conscientious of like not inviting myself like or making it seem like I'm inviting myself because in when I've grown up it's like it's very been frowned upon a lot like no don't do that you don't do that that's not yeah well like like that situation of like hanging out with friends It'll be like, hey, do y'all want to do something this weekend? They say yes. Okay. What do you want to do? ⁓ come over. So it's like, I technically say, let's do something. And then they'll say, okay, come to my house. okay. Yeah. So it's not like I'm saying I'm coming over. Yeah. It's not like a, invite. No, that was one of the biggest things when I was like first started dating Jonah. Jonah kept saying, yeah, it's fine. Come along. Hey, come to this. Come do this. Yeah, you can leave your dog at the house with no one home at his parents' house. And I'm like, did you ask them? And he was like, no, but they'll be fine. I'm like, can you please ask? Yeah. Cause like he would try to invite me to all these things because he wanted me to be with his family and hang out with his family and friends and all this. And again, I'm one of those is like, you have to ask the person who's hosting, you have to ask the person, be respectful because if it were me, I wouldn't want someone just inviting someone that I don't know really well to something that might be a very private family thing, you know? Even though he was planning on marrying me, it was still like, I would, I would prefer. still in respect. Yeah. his parents were always like, you're always welcome. And then I was like, I get that. But still tell me that I can go. No, I still do that. Luckily when Will and I first started dating, he lived alone. He lived in his dad's house, but he lived there by himself. ⁓ His dad had gotten that house when his parents were separated. And so his dad lives with his mom. but they still have that house. So he lived there alone. But even then, his dad not even living there, I was like, is your dad okay with me coming over? Like, I don't want to come up in his house, even if he's not there, even if he's never there. It's more of a, I just want to make sure that if someone were to walk into this house, it's not going to be, yeah, it's not going to be a surprise or like a, ⁓ I did not want you to have, yeah. Yeah. Even when I was younger, like in high school, if I was hanging out with one friend and we're going to one of their friend's houses, I'm like, did they know I'm coming? Like, are they okay with me being there as well as you? Cause I'm not walking up in somebody's house that doesn't know I'm coming. No, I'm definitely not. Yes. Never ever. Nope. Don't want to do that. All right. Do you double text? I do. Me too. I'm terrible at it. If you look at our recent text, you'll see that I texted you like four times. Yeah. In a row. Can you go months without talking and still be close? Yes or no? It depends on the person. OK. I think it definitely depends on the person. If it's like someone I've known my entire life, yes. But if it's like a new friend. that I didn't really have a relationship with very long and then, you know, the break comes, you kind of have to start over. Dang. So I'm probably going to have to start over. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. You're never leaving. I feel like it, It feels like it. feels like it. We'll see. We'll see what happens. I got some got some feelers out there. We'll I know. made it. I made it. I made a Facebook post hoping that someone could save me. So we'll see what happens from that. All right. If you leave that, I don't care. You can't leave me. OK. OK, good. Well, that's what I thought. We wouldn't see each other every day. So then we wouldn't be as close. No, you're just not leaving me. OK. All right. Cool. I don't care if you leave. You're just not leaving me. That's fine. I agree to that. I agree to those terms. I will gladly make that deal. Okay. I didn't need you, okay? You're not doing it. You have no say whatsoever. Great. Are you the advice giver or the listener? I can be both. like if you were sitting here crying, I'm a great listener. But when you're ready for advice, I'm going to give it whether you like it or not. I think I'm the advice giver mostly because everyone always comes to me and asks me what to, what should I do? I'm like, this is what I would do. This is my thoughts. This is my opinion. But at the same time, I'm like, just because here's what I don't like is I don't like when people come to me for advice and it's like, take what resonates with you. Don't let it get worse in your mind because I'm giving you my. Yeah, a ⁓ lot of times when I do give advice, I have to preface with this is what I would do because in certain situations, I'm a very blunt person and I'm not so nice all the time. So what I would do is not always what you should do. No, I agree. Yeah, I just I don't mind giving advice. I just, I don't like it sometimes because as someone who has gotten advice and especially if I think really highly of that person, I'm gonna be swayed in my opinion, like on my action of what I do, even though if it's not something that I wanna do, but it's because that person told me the advice and I don't wanna disappoint that person. I'm very bad at giving neutral advice. Like I said, I'm gonna tell you what I would do in this situation, not always what you should do. So sometimes it's probably bad advice because it's not what you should do. I don't know. I've been trying to be more of a listener. I have a problem and I don't know if anybody else has this problem. but I have a problem that when I'm trying to listen, I might correlate your experience with something that I've also experienced that made me feel the way that you're feeling. Does not mean that I'm trying to talk about myself. It's I'm trying to connect with you. I do the same thing. And so sometimes I'm like, ⁓ my gosh, I'm talking about myself too much. And some people are like, why is she always making it about her and does duh? I feel like that's what people think, but a lot of people have that connection, do that. I've seen a lot of people who connect with that way. to hear your experience. Yeah, to have that feeling. do the same thing. Yeah. I've heard a lot of people are the same way, because when I say, feel like I'm not like, I'm sorry if I'm putting that I'm just trying to say, they're like, ⁓ no, it's fine. Like I'm the same way. And I'm like, OK, great, cool. But I've always been like a little self conscious about that. Yeah. I do. Talk about myself a lot, but it's it's never. Most of the time, it's not like I want to talk about myself instead of you. It's I'm trying to connect something and most people do take it as that connection. there are a few. Yeah. OK, so this is relationship. Rapid fire, hard launch or soft launch? Hard. Actually, with Will, I did a soft launch, though. OK, so you you would prefer a soft launch. Like with Will's the only one I've ever saw. you hard launched everybody else? Yeah. ⁓ maybe that's it's working. Maybe. OK. ⁓ or private? I like PDA. PDA to an extent. Yeah, I mean, don't be like. Be inappropriate. Yeah, but like I like holding hands and I like kissing and, know, you know, ⁓ those things. I'm not going to like make out with you at the dinner table, but ⁓ might give you a little quick. pick before I go do the dishes or something and help my mom or something. Okay. Double dates are so low time. I like double dates. We have a lot of couple friends, so most of our dates turned into double dates anyway. Nice. Well, we'll have a, we'll have a date this weekend. Yeah. We have a date this weekend. excited. Yup. I'm going to try to make some carrot cake, sourdough cinnamon rolls. excited. I'm so excited. did make my first loaf of sourdough bread and it was good. It was so good. Emma tried it. I her try it. I let my mom try it. My mom said it was good. Jonah tried it, but he couldn't really say because he said his taste buds just didn't feel the same right then. Yeah, he was sick. And I don't know if I've ever had sourdough like I was like, it tastes good. It was very good. It doesn't taste like I want to vomit or anything. So it must be something, right? OK, so would you share your passwords or absolutely not? I share everything. Agreed. Post your partner often or keep it low key. I. like posting but Will and I never take pictures so I really don't have anything to post. If we took more pictures I would post them. What all the pictures that you took? We should just start saving the snapchats that you take of you and Will. Oh yeah. And then that you send do a snapchat dump. That you send to me I'll just save them if it's of you and Will and be like here you go here's some pictures. Yeah some of them Some of the Snapchats that are sent, most of the time he doesn't have a shirt on, so I would be reluctant to post. He did yell at me the other day, because I went, I took a picture to Snapchat to you, and it was like the front of his chest, and he said, no, I don't want her to see my nipples. I said, why does it matter? He said, I don't want her to see that. I said. Okay, I'll delete it. That's so funny. Like, my husband has those things. Yeah, I mean. They probably look very similar. Maybe this is like gender stereotyping, but they're a man nipples. Nobody cares. they don't. But I'm glad he... Sorry. Sorry, Will. Whoops. He's gonna hear this and like... Y'all are so mean. Yeah, we're making fun of him. Sorry. Sorry. We apologize. I apologize. But it's not a big deal. It's OK. OK, so we're almost done. Most dramatic trait. Most dramatic. I get angry really fast. ⁓ And sometimes it's about very little things that shouldn't make me angry. But once I'm angry, it's very hard to bring me down. then right there with you. And then I get loud and I start yelling at everyone and I take it out on everyone. whether it's everyone's is not my best, right? But it's definitely my most dramatic. Yeah, I'm the same way. I'm definitely like. I don't know if I'm like quick to anger, but like. If there are multiple things piling up that I'm having to like. I've had this go wrong, I've had this go wrong, I have this and it's like piling up and then I come to something else that I've asked. Yeah, and ⁓ He'll just let me out and then I'll be crying because I'm so angry and then he'll be like, it's okay. That's one of things that I've had to really work on in our relationship is I will get angry at something that isn't even remotely about Will and I will take it out on him and then he's just sitting there like, what the heck did I do when he didn't do anything? which I'm working on it. I've gotten a lot better. He has told me I've gotten a lot better. So must be working. Something's working. Yeah. No, that's, that's yeah. It's hard because I also am just. feel like everything falls to me because I've been the adult, adult longer. Like I've lived out on my own before. I've had a lot of bills and things that I've had to handle and take care of. And I feel like he hasn't really done that before. And this is kind of his first time going through, you know, being an adult. Like this is officially him being an adult. ⁓ And so a lot of things that I'm ⁓ angry and annoyed with are things that he is learning for the first time. And he's never had this before. So part of me is like, when I'm yelling at him, like, I know you don't mean it. I know you're not doing anything purposely and I know it has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with all these other things. And it's just. This is what's happening. And I say that even with my angry voice, but then he, he knows, like at least he's heard that I'm not, even though I'm angry, he still hears the words that it's not about you. And so he can still. Will has been out on his own before he's paid bills and everything. I moved out of my mom's house to move in with Will. So. Other than living in my college dorm room, this is the first time I've been on my own. So he knows what he's doing and I'm learning it all for the first time. But on the flip side, I'm the one that gets stressed out and like angry because I'm learning how to do all of these things. but he already knows how to do them. So then I'm angry at him because he already knows what he's doing. it's like, I wish I knew. yeah. It's always a like, why can't I just figure this out? Yeah. When you know how to do it. Yeah. Which makes you like, competitiveness comes out. It does. It does. It comes out at the worst times, in the worst situations. I don't know, he's really good about like sitting down and talking with me about like our finances and our bills and how things are working. And he also is a money geek. like. Well, aren't you like semi money geek now that you're in? I once I did get on like out on my own and. my paycheck wasn't just fun money. It changed my mindset a lot, but there's still a long way to go. Yeah. Yeah. Like just the, I feel like the basic financial literacy is just so hard today. Like nobody knows what they're doing. Well, a lot of people. So what I've seen is is and it's been all over my tick tock, of course. So I might have sent you some things where they have this family compound. And so the kids have mailboxes in front of their room doors. I have seen this. And with doorbells and they get pay stubs, they get, you know, they get paid for do. to school, doing homework, like active, because school is like your job. ⁓ don't get paid for the chores that they have to do. ⁓ automatically come. So some people do pay for chores as well as like if you make sure to go to school and do your chores. ⁓ But I mean, that makes the most sense is like you get paid based on your job. Cause that's how the real world works. And they're teaching them like paying. they'll give like, let's say their allowance is like $5. Like maybe they make that for school. Like. your salary money, five dollars a week. So they'll give them five dollars in ones and they'll have a savings bag, a cash bag and then a retirement bag or something, a third bag. So like there's three bags. And so they at least have to put one dollar or more into savings like that's a minimum. ⁓ is one dollar. Like they have to at least put a dollar of that five dollars and then the rest of that five dollars can go anywhere else. You can put it four dollars into spending cash. Maybe it's rent, I don't know. And then some parents do implement rent. And I think doing that, all that money that you're giving them and that they're giving back to you for rent or maybe they're paying you for late fees or something like you're trying to implement those things, that can be putting away. Because if you do that for 18 years and let's say, You give them $10 and their rent is $3 when they first start out, when they first start going to school. Like, you you raise ⁓ the money as they get older. When they pay you that rent, you put it straight into a savings, a high yield savings for them. had a friend of mine in college, her dad. When so her and her brother, when they turned 16, their parents bought them a car. They were required to get a job and pay the car insurance and the car payment. Now they weren't big, nice, fancy cars. So the car payment wasn't crazy. I think in total it was probably like $400 a month they had to pay, but they had to pay it if they wanted their car, their free car. So they both did that. Her and her brother. Well, when they went to go move out of the house, he moved out, I think he moved out when he was like 22 and she still lives at home. But when he moved out, he got from 16 to 22 every month's car payment and car insurance to put a down payment on a house. He bought his house at 22. Yeah, that's what. That's what I'm. Yeah. Yeah. So they like what what the kids paid them, they put up and then they paid those bills because they could. They were, you know, blessed to be able to do that. Yeah. To just put that money away. then the kids got that back. Yeah. When it was time for them, like a security deposit type of thing. Yeah. No, that's what that's. And I've talked to Jonah and we've we've agreed that like that's something that we would somewhat implement. And I think it's better for a kid to get paid for something that's like a job. My mom did not allow me to have a job when I was in high school. Jonah's parents did. Like, my mom was like, no, you can't have a job. can't have a job. And I never understood why. I and I really wish that I would have been able to have a job because There are so many things I probably could have done better. Like I could have saved sooner and I could have, you know, from 16 to 18, like I didn't start working until I got out of high school. And then- I also just think it teaches you a lot about life and then you're not. out of school where you have to go to work and you've never worked before. Yeah. And it's, and it's a lot harder. Like the world is getting a lot rougher out there now. Yeah. But I mean, I, I got a job. I turned 16 in August and I started my first job the following January and I had a job from then until now. ⁓ I like working though. Like even when I was in high school, so my junior year, I went to normal high school. I had extracurriculars after school and then I went to work and then I went home and had to still do homework and shower and you know, whatever. It feels like you had a limited amount of time. I feel like I have no time now. I was telling Will the other day, I was like, how did I do that? How is that possible? I don't understand where time goes. I just- Because now I could not do that. No, I would be exhausted. I would fall over asleep if I had to live that day right now. Mm-hmm. No. Mm-mm. Nope. We're old. You're so young though. You can't really tell. I don't know. I feel like the age of oldness just keeps getting younger and younger. I feel like when I was a kid, you weren't old until you were like 80. Mm-hmm, now you turn 35 and you're ancient. Yeah, you're considered old. Yeah, it's crazy kids I tell my mom says all the time that she's old. I'm this 46 Yeah, your mom's your mom's still pretty young. Yeah, she gets to have a baby if she wanted to all the time that she's old No, there's women who have had babies at her age. Yeah, my whole family's young. My grandma just turned 69. Yeah She thinks she's old. I don't even consider that old. neither do I. Neither do I. In my mind, you have to be like croaking over before I consider you an old person. have to be on your deathbed and then immobile considering you old. Like you to be dead. Dead. And then you're old. I don't know. I really believe in the you're only as old as you feel. Granted that makes me a lot older than I am. But I feel like once you get to also think it's different. Yeah, once you get to a point in your life, like say your 30s where you're like comfortable in your life and your daily routine, you start to kind of age backwards. Like you feel. better because you're through the rough years of trying to figure out life and like get things going. And maybe that's why we feel old is because it's like we're in the trenches. Yeah, we're in the trenches. But also things are a lot different than what they were even 30 years ago. Yeah. The stress in the world, the workload of stress that people have now. the mental depression that people have now because they are just basically working to survive. It's not that you live and you have worked leisurely. It's I have to work to live. If I do not work and work myself to the bone, I might as well die. Yeah. Like I will not be able to survive anything. Yeah. I was telling my mom the other day. When she was my age, the age that I am right now, she had a four year old. She was a full, she worked full time, 40 hours a week. She was a full time student taking like, I think she said like four or five classes a semester. Had to take care of a child. I guess she was doing it all. I go to work for eight hours a day and I don't want to go to sleep. Same. Immediately. Same. I don't, I don't get it. Yeah. No. It's crazy. no sense to me. I don't know what's changed, but it needs to go back. Yeah, it does. Sometimes I'm like, was born in the wrong time. Yeah. But at the same time, Jonah always tells me, no, you're born in the right time for me. And I was like, you're just so cute. ⁓ All right. We got off track. We got way off track. We did a ton of questions. I probably could have skimmed down the game to know your questions, but, you know, we can always have part two of Emma if we want to. All right. So we're just going to go run through a little bit of friendships. So. You typically have two types of people. You have the people who get into a relationship and they either disappear, like that person goes and you feel like you've been replaced by that person or you're the person who's like distance yourself from your friends. Cause you know, when you're single and you're hanging out with all your friends and then you have that one friend, they get into a relationship and it feels like you never see them. They don't talk to you anymore. And it's like, what happened? And so ⁓ we're going to give you a little bit of tips and tricks on maybe potentially avoiding that if you can, if you're, you know, going to start a relationship or maybe how to rekindle some old friendships if you would like to do that. Emma, have you ever been someone to like throughout your life with dating and everything? Where would you feel like you fall the most? I think... I don't know. I've definitely been the friend that gets forgotten when someone goes into a relationship. ⁓ Most recently, that's because I have feelings about the person that they're with that they don't agree with, which maybe I shouldn't share. But sometimes people need hard advice, like we said earlier. ⁓ I've also been the one to kind of let go of a friendship in certain situations. depending on who they are and what's going on. Yeah, I know me personally, I have been the one to kind of disappear more than I have to lose someone because growing up I have had in elementary school, I would have friends and they would start talking to the popular kids and then they'd hang out with the popular kids and forget about me. So I'm used to that. I'm used to people just changing friends and that's fine. I've always done that so I don't really feel like I've ever Felt where they've chosen like a boyfriend over me type of thing I've never felt that but I have been told that I have done that yeah, and I know that I have done that in certain situations like in a Previous relationship there were certain family members that did not like this person. They were like If you're going to be with this person, I don't really want to talk to you anymore because you keep coming to me heartbroken and sharing all these things. And I can't, I can't take on that burden anymore of trying to help you when you're not helping yourself. And so I stayed with that person to try to make it work. And so I cut off, so I'm not as close with some of my family as I used to be and it sucks, but I mean, We had, it was like this, it happened for a bit. So, you know, we weren't really close and then we became close because we were the only ones like really hanging out out of the family. And then that happened and we kind of fall off and just kind of fell off from there. We haven't really gotten back to, and I've had that with multiple family members. Not so much with like a boyfriend or anything like that, but like there's been different pairs of family members because depending on the age. like my favorite cousin. When I was a kid, his name was Matthew. Hi, Matthew. If you're watching, hi, Matt. He goes by Matt, but he he and I were like inseparable when we were like really young and then we turned eight and nine. He moved away. So I started hanging out with a cousin that was younger than me. Hi, Bree, if you're watching. Bree lives down the street here. So I would be hanging out with Bree at family occasions because she was the next closest in my age and she was always wanting to hang out with me. So I hung out with her and then we became close and then it's just each one of us have kind of picked and choose who we're friends with. depending on who's around and the age group, because that's just where it kind of gets tricky. But ⁓ yeah, no, I've definitely been someone to choose it just because I feel in my heart that the relationship is to work. But that's again, where the advice, I don't always take it, but I spent like agony. days when people would like tell me that they didn't like this person. I would spend days like trying to figure out what I wanted to do because my family didn't like him, but I felt in my heart that he was supposed to be the person I was to be with. I did not know how other way to feel. And so, and it got, they got in my head. and I was constantly in my head and I was like, but I wanna follow my heart, but at the same time, they're not wrong in their feelings and they're not, but at the same time, I can make excuses for them. And that's when you're kind of in like a semi-toxic relationship where you're like making excuses. And so that's what's rough is mainly when I have pulled away. It's because I'm really trying to potentially see what my heart says with this person. And, you know, if I didn't have the thoughts in my head, would I still want to be with this person? Yeah, you have to find the sway point. Yeah. On which way to go. But I've definitely been that. So. There are things that can naturally happen. So people can naturally like shift away because maybe the timing of getting that boyfriend is also a time where your friend is really busy with work. So you spend more time with your boyfriend because he's available. And you're also, especially beginning relationships. Honestly, sometimes I feel like you need that time. Yeah, you have to go through your honey men phase. Yes, you have to get used to them. You have to interact with them. So, yeah, you're going to spend more time with them because you want to to get to know them more. Once you've established, you know them like you're going on, what? How many years? Two and a half, two and a half. So you know each other pretty well. So you coming over here to hang out with me and do the podcast is not a crazy like thing because you know what he's probably doing at the house and you know all these things and you know him and it's like you can now have that time away and not feel like extremely like, my gosh, I wanna know what he's doing because I don't know him yet kind of. Does that make sense? Yeah. We're also, Will and I are both very, like I don't wanna use the word detached. but like neither of us really feel the need to be together 24-7 and we never really have even when we first started dating but when we first started dating we were medium distance so we didn't get to see each other all the time so maybe it's because we didn't start that way but even with like other friends and like family like I've never felt like I need to hang out with someone all the time. Yeah, I've never felt that way. Another does he. So we're really good at, you know, having our, of course we have time together. We live together, we hang out together. We go on date night and everything, but we're both really good about letting each other have our personal time too. Because sometimes too, when you live together, I don't know how you and Jonah feel, but when you live together, sometimes I need a break. Jonah's probably on your side. don't know. I'm I'm very like when I'm at work, like he's been sick and all I've wanted to be is at home with him. All I've wanted all week when he's at home and I have to work. I can't stand it. I'm like, I just want to be with you. Like. And when he says he's going to go do something, I he's like, so for example, there's one time very last minute, hey, do you want to go and to a friend's house and play games? I was like, I don't know how I'm going to feel. Maybe I don't know because we were kind of already supposed to have plans a little bit like there weren't concrete plans between me and him, but we had already got it. So I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna feel. Like I was already like kind of pissed off with work and stuff when he texted me about it and it was also late in the day. So again, it felt kind of last minute to me. And I'm like, I don't know. So then I get home and he had a bag ready to play video games at his friend's house if I wasn't gonna be going with him. ⁓ And I was like, so you already expected me not to go with you. And he was like, well, you said you didn't know. And I was like, yeah, that doesn't mean that I can't change my mind. And I told him, I'm like, I'm going to be honest with you. 90 % of the time, I'm going to want to go with you because I want to be with you because I've been at work all day and I haven't gotten to see you. So I'm just a clingy person, I guess. just, really, I miss Jonah. And if I could, I would spend like, the time with him that I could. ⁓ like it though because I know that you're not like controlling Klingy. no. Those people, I can't stand. No, I don't feel I'm controlling Klingy. ⁓ I'd have to get Jonah's opinion. Should we call him? Well, like from what you just said, ⁓ don't feel that you are controlling. Yeah, it's more of. It's more of that he already anticipated. Well, that's what like made me annoyed was that he already anticipated that I wasn't going with him. Yeah. And that made me sad because it's like you were expecting me not to go with you. You wanted me to potentially not go with you so that you could stay there and game. Like you don't want to come home. Like not come home, but like you wanted to stay later than the maybe, you know, 10 o'clock that you would stay and then I don't sleep well when he's not there. Yeah. And then also. That is one thing about when he's don't sleep good. I don't want him driving at night and I'm just going to sit and wait for him and check his location until he's like on his way home, because there are there are crazy people out there. Accidents happen all the time. Yeah. And so especially late at night. I just I'm I'm a worrier, so I would rather just go with him. Yeah. And like, even though I wasn't, and part of me probably should have stayed home because I wasn't the best person to like hang out with. was a little like, again, work was bad, so I was a little irritable, but I had a good time. It wasn't terrible. Yeah. But they probably would have had a little bit more fun had I not been there because I was a little bit like. Yeah. Well, some people. Fighting on certain things. Some people would have come home in that same situation and been like, okay, you already expected that you were going to go without me. Neither of us are going because that has pissed me off now. Well, I told him, I told him if I was going to go, I needed to shower. I needed to do something. I was like, I need to do this before we go. And I think I had to work late. So I was already potentially running behind. from the time that they wanted us to get there. can't remember exactly, but I was like, I have to do this. But if you go, then you go. And he left and I was like, you didn't even wait for me to get out of the shower to ask me if I wanted to go again. Yeah, like again. Taking a nice shower can change a person's mood, OK? Taking taking like a 10 minute shower can change a person's Yeah, so. I called him and I was like, can't believe you left. you know, I thought you were going to wait till I got out the shower and then we were going to talk about it a little bit more and then decide. And he was like, well, do you want to come? And I was like, well, I'd like to be with you and I really want to spend time with you. And that's really what I was like all annoyed about the most was that I just wanted to spend time with Yeah. Well, in that situation, you were upset because he to do something else rather than spend time with you ⁓ he kind of made an assumption already about the outcome you were without me fully saying that I wasn't going yeah, you weren't upset because He was going no I wasn't upset that he was going I was upset because I Wanted to spend time with him and I could spend time with him if I if I was going ⁓ also he just assumed that I wasn't going yeah That's what I'm saying like that's not in my mind. That's not Like controlling. Okay, good. Because sometimes I feel like I'm controlling. I don't know why, but I feel like because I'm like always like, I just want to hang out to get like, I don't know. I feel like I'm just constantly always with him. Sometimes Will will ask me permission to do things and I'm like, what? Do it like you don't need my permission to do. Now me and Jonah have discussed when it comes to like big purchases. that we do, we can make those purchases. However, we do need to like maybe have like a teeny tiny discussion and say, hey, here's my game plan on this and I want to get this. And we discuss it. If it's like, if it's over $500, if it's under like $500 and you can handle it yourself, go for it. Yeah. No, I'm saying like the other day we were sitting at home and he decided that he wanted French toast. for lunch. And he asked if he could have french toast for lunch? He asked me if he could. So our subdivision is right next to a Dollar General. He asked me if he could go to Dollar General and get the stuff that we needed to make french toast. I was like, I don't care. You're literally, it's not even a mile from our driveway. Go get some french toast. Will, get you some french toast, dude. Yeah, he made me french toast. It was great. Man, I want some French toast. Jonah! I want French toast. Send him to the Dollar General. Yeah, send him to the Dollar General, get some French toast. OK, we kind of tanted it there about our own relationships, but that's OK. So, you know, what can happen when dating is that time naturally shifting. That's what what's what got us on this tangent is, you know, again, things are happening in their life at the same time that you know, your friend gets a boyfriend. And so your time is not lining up for you to have hangouts or something. You're working when you've already made plans. There's just a natural shift in like making plans. It's not that you don't want to hang out. It's not that you're like pulling away. It just naturally happens. it's, oh, so I guess what we were talking about when I was talking about them wanting to get to know the person more. It's emotional energy going to a new person. So they're putting their emotional energy into that new person to try to get whatever it is backing to get more details and everything. what, so like this conversation, this whole conversation that we've been having, this is an emotional transaction. Instead of giving it to you, I'd be giving it to Jonah. And that's how it would be. So we wouldn't have as. much conversations Emotionally as I am having with my new significant other. I like how I'm pointing up to the ceiling He's up there. He's he's upstairs, but he's that way like he's at an angle so over there in that situation like When you are putting so much energy into a new relationship You're not gonna have the same amount of energy to put into your existing relationship I have a social battery. Yeah. Big time. social battery is like this big. Big time. Yeah. So if you are putting so much into one relationship, you don't have enough for your pre-existing ones. So most times, if you have a stable friendship, they'll see you through it. stand. Mm-hmm. But if it's maybe a newer friendship or one that's kind of not on level ground already, it can kind of fade off when you're not putting that energy into it. And one of the things you said, honeymoon phase tunnel vision, you're just in that honeymoon phase. So you're and then fear of making your partner uncomfortable. So I was going to tell you this earlier, I don't know when I was going to tell you, when Will and I first started dating, I was really close with a friend of mine from high school. We had rekindled and had started hanging out a lot. And she was in a different phase of life. She was engaged. She had a baby already. She was in a very different phase of life than Will and I had just started dating. But... Like I said, I had been hanging out with her a lot and going over to her house and hanging out. so when Will and I started dating, he started coming with me to her parties and hangouts and everything. And when we. When I first started taking Will over there, she was very flirty with him. That's a big fat no, don't do that. So and the first time Because she is, if you knew her, she is a very flirty person. That's her personality. That can come off. She's very bubbly. She's very friendly. Like that's just her. So at first I didn't think anything of it. And I don't know if we'll did immediately or not, but a couple of times in us hanging out, maybe the third or fourth time after we left her apartment that night, we'll had. expressed his concern that he was getting kind of uncomfortable with the way that she was acting and speaking towards him. Like, because she would go up and hug him and like, like hang around him and touch his arm and like being flirty. And so after he expressed that, because I had kind of noticed it, but me knowing her I was like ⁓ that's just her yeah that's just who she is yeah so when he finally expressed to me that it was making him very uncomfortable I was like okay this is done and we stopped hanging out with her so if if someone that even if you have that pre-existing relationship with them if they in any way make your partner uncomfortable in my opinion matter. Yeah. It does not matter. ⁓ don't think it should matter on if it's a new relationship or not. Yeah. Like it's because that person has probably been acting that way that ⁓ time. Every time you've had ⁓ ⁓ other ⁓ in ⁓ you don't really know if. there's been some other exes that might have slid into that DM. Well, yeah, you just don't and like in that situation I even had to ⁓ to will and say like I'm sorry that my friend made you feel this way ⁓ I also had to apologize that I didn't realize that because I had those blinders on that that's just her personality. And like that's so I get along pretty well with men for the most part. Like that's just who I get along well with. I have a little bit more hard time being friends with females because there can be more drama insinuated in that. so. It is for me, I do my best, especially if the male is married or in a relationship, I do my best to make sure I'm also trying to be friends with the wife or the girlfriend. And if there's anything that needs to go through, it goes through them. Because I don't want them getting an idea. Me reaching out to them or me messaging them or. you know, me, you know, being more talkative to them, I don't want them to get the idea. Because sometimes, sometimes, yes, it can be taken in a different way because there are times where I've been nice to people and they thought I was flirting. And I'm like, no, I'm just being respectful. I'm just being nice and I'm just being a friend to you. Like the way that I talk at work. If I talk to like, Nick, I talked to Nick. Hi Nick. Hi Nick. You know, some things like I talk to them as if I was talking to anybody else. Yeah. However, there are certain things that probably come out of my mouth that might be like, was she flirting? Yeah. Or was she just being a friend? just being a friend. Yeah. I'm the same way. Even really my entire life. have always made better friends with guys, but it's because a lot of my interests ⁓ male interests. ⁓ like fishing. like hunting. I like being outside. ⁓ ⁓ ⁓ male interests. ⁓ a lot of times I can sit down with somebody's dad and have a longer conversation than I can with them. ⁓ ⁓ I was going through high school and college, ⁓ was... Labeled a not nice word because all of my friends were guys. I only hung out with guys and that made it really hard to find a relationship as well because Other guys would look at me and say ⁓ no, I don't want that one because she's all these guy friends. Yeah or or You're one of the bros. Yeah, and they're not interested in you because you're like a bro. Yeah, no I had especially in high school. I had a lot that I truly did have like a crush on. I was just a friend. I got friend zoned. day. Yeah, no, it definitely, yeah, I agree. It's just easier. don't know, men just make it easier too. Even growing up, like, my mom is the same way. She... when we were younger and she was still married to my dad, all of his friends would come over and she's one of the guys. So I grew up seeing, you know, you hang out with the guys. So I think of course I grew up to also be that way. But on the back side of that, my dad always accused my mom of cheating. with his friends that he invited into our home. Interesting. Just because she was nice and friendly to them. Yeah. Because they were in our home. Yeah. See, that's why, yeah. Everything, everything can be misconstrued. Yes, 100 percent, which is why communication is such a big thing. ⁓ gosh. Like, that's why, again. I reach out either to the wife or the girlfriend to then relay a message to the husband or boyfriend or I go through Jonah and I have Jonah reach out to them because there's no way like unless they reach out to me I'm not going out of my way to talk to them. Yeah like our our best couple friend that we hang out with the most We have a group chat with the four of us. And if we're planning something or need to ask a question or something, it goes in that group chat. me and her will text directly and Will and him will text directly. But if it's involving all of us, or if I need to text him for whatever reason, it goes in the group chat. Yeah. It's just, I feel like that's just being respectful and just having boundaries of like all, but also it's just, you just don't. want anyone to get the wrong idea. Because the only time that I think I would text someone in me like directly as a male is if it's a single male and I'm trying to plan something for Jonah like a surprise party. That would then inquire me to have to reach out to him directly unfortunately like he's single doesn't have a girlfriend I can go through. But I'm also planning something for my husband. It's not like I am reaching out to him for any other reason than to, hey, I'm throwing a surprise party, please come. This is the time and this is the day. Yeah. And it's not just, hey, come over. Yeah. It's like drawn out. This is what's happening. Yeah. And it's very, very, very blunt. And like, it's short. It's not going to be like a very like... ⁓ my gosh, hey. No, no, it's going to be very blunt, very quick to the point. Hello. Yeah. Hello, Jason. This is what's happening. You need to be here. We would appreciate your appearance at this special event. Thank you, comma, Susan. Literally. ⁓ I would probably do it. But yeah. With warm regards. With warm regards. Dearest reader. Not even put the name. Dearest reader. There is a party to be held. Here's the date. Warmest regards. You just went medieval. your invitation. Hey, that's OK. That's OK. All right. goodness. We got sidetracked again. That's OK. So we're I'm going to now go through. practical ways to maintain a friendship. so we'll see if you have any added ones that you might add to the list or ones that you might maybe if you don't agree with it, let me know. Okay, so one is schedule friend time intentionally. If it's not on the calendar, it won't happen. I agree. So I agree with that. Make sure to kind of maybe schedule getting many petties. You know, getting your nails done. Even if it's just as simple as, you know, getting lunch, getting in the car together and going through a drive through and getting a coffee or something. Yeah. Make make your time intentional always with anything, just. Front time, don't make your partner your only emotional outlet. It's healthy to have multiple support systems. I agree to an extent. I agree with that. but do not go to someone else and complain about your partner. ⁓ 100%. Me and Jonah agreed with that. Like, I've told, like we were even watching something. We were, what were we watching? we were watching Heartland because he's back on watching Heartland and he in the show, Ty didn't tell Amy about a kiss that happened and she had also kissed another guy or he kissed her and they were together. This girl had kissed Ty. Same, same thing. Same thing that happened. It's just. He didn't say anything to Amy, but Amy eventually told him and he let it go. And this is further down the line. So then she finds out. She finds out, but in her mind, she thinks they fully got together. Like we're intimate with each other. So she freaks out. She goes and tells her family and everybody and in the house. in the main cast tells him all about Ty and what he did and da da. OK. Now everyone's mad at Ty. Yeah. She takes like maybe two days. And forgives him and says, you know what? I was wrong, like, you know, or just forgives him in two days. But do you know that family? There's other people have those feelings. Yes. And they're still upset. They're like, well. You just forget, so that's why with me and Jonah, I'm like, I would rather you complain to me about what I'm doing wrong than go to somebody else, especially another female who's gonna tell you what they can do for you that I'm not doing. Because trust me, it happens like a lot. And so, you know, and I'm like, and also don't tell you. any of your family or friends. Like when we're having an argument, don't go and share that because we should work through them together, me and you. And I don't tell any of my family or any of my friends because I don't want outside opinions messing with my head when I'm already trying to figure out with him. And so. Because what's going happen is I'm going to forgive them and then everybody else is still going to be mad because of the thing or vice versa. Like his family could still be mad at me about something that he told them. Like, Susan's upset about this and I don't understand. like, like, you know, siding with him because they're not in the relationship and so they only have him as the thing. So I think it's good to have. more than one emotional outlet. I think the boundaries should always be as long as you're not complaining about your partner, as long as you're not sharing intimate details about your partner, and as long as you're keeping your personal life between the two of you. So whether that be your finances or what you're planning for like personal issues like that, that's just for the two of you. And also like make sure it's someone that you trust. Yeah. Because. Again, anything can be misconstrued. Yes, and it can also be told at other tables. Yeah. There was something, there was something I read like a while back that was like. ⁓ Vents. Listening. Ears have lit. You have two ears to listen, but I don't know. There's there was something about a vent. Oh, be careful who you vent to, because vents go to other rooms. That's what it was. Yeah. The only thing I will admit. I have my downfalls on this like emotional outlet topic. Because I'm really bad about if I'm upset or if something's going on, I will call my mom and say, ugh, Will did this and I'm so upset. But she's the only one that I do it with. Yeah, it's not like you're going to everybody. Yeah, I don't tell the whole wide world. But I am getting better at not telling my mom every little detail. because Will has expressed to me that he doesn't like that I complain about him to my mom. So I am working on that because he feels that, like you were saying, he feels that if I tell her things, she's not gonna like him anymore. And she's just gonna have only the negatives about him. He is great and she knows that he's great because I also tell her how great he is. Hi, mom. Yeah. Hi, mommy. I'm going to tell her to listen. She hates podcast. Oh, she hates listening to people talk. Well, this one's going to be a long one. So she's got to sit. Yeah. I told you, I said I said before we started this that we're both talkers. no. Well, and me and Jonah usually keep it about. 30 minutes, but that's because Jonah just. Jonah doesn't have the. The he doesn't have the talking capacity that we do. Yes, he doesn't. He's ⁓ a man of mystery. He doesn't. He doesn't talk much. OK. All right. So the next two, I'm like, I feel like they coincide a little bit with the first one, but it's like, keep some traditions, weekly coffee, monthly dinner, annual trip. Consistency builds security. And then number four is don't only invite friends to group slash double dates. One-on-one time still matters, which kind of reverts back to your time intentionally. Like I feel like those go inside. So. Yeah, I agree with the. Like, obviously, if you have a strong friendship, you know, plan something for their birthday or, you know, spend that time with them. Not just our birthday, but like you said, make it intentional. So like that said, whether it's like a weekly little coffee run or something. How? Again, if it's scheduled, it's going to happen at least for you. Book Emma and she'll be there. I will die before that schedule is broken. OK, we've got. communicate the shift simple reassurance I'm in a relationship but I still value if someone sent me that text I would weird the same I would block someone if they sent me that text I would want to punch them so fast in the face like you've got to be kidding me don't tell me that that text immediately says I don't actually value our friendship I'm sending you this so that you're not upset with me yeah it's like ⁓ coddling. Yeah, don't. I'm just I'm just trying to not make it worse. No, if you are going to send sounds fake, if you are going to send a message that is along those lines, have it be, hey, I know we haven't hung out as much lately because I'm in this relationship to to build something here. But hey, how about we do? I'm available this day and then have a try to schedule a time to hang out and then you can tell them about your new boyfriend. Yeah. Or even if it's like, hey, give me give me a FaceTime call when you have a minute. Yeah. Let's let's catch up. It doesn't always have to be let's go out and do something. It can just be a little phone call that's like, hey, what's going on in your life right now? Yeah. Just a quick pick me up. But like, yeah, you could start it out like that. But yeah, don't ever say, but I still value. No. Okay, what I've heard, what I've heard is, but if you say, but it cancels out everything you just said prior. So I still value. Yeah. I'm glad you still value me, but you don't value me enough to continue that sentence of asking me what's going on. And that was only the, the only text I got without saying, I still value you. How are you doing? Like, you know, some intentional to show that you're trying to connect with me. Yeah. Don't ever send me that text. ⁓ we've already talked about this one. Avoid oversharing your relationships. Yeah. Friends don't need every detail. Protect the friendship from unnecessary drama. And then seven, respect boundaries on both sides. If a friend feels left out, don't get defensive. Listen. Yeah. I agree with that too. Because it. A lot of times. I will say this from a person who has been the one that has been forgotten about. A lot of times your friend may truly feel like you have forgotten they existed. So if you can, you'd be the one to do the reach out. Yeah. Like I said, just send a little text and say, Hey, hope you're doing good. Give me a call when you can. Let's catch up. Yeah. And then while you're on that call, maybe schedule time to hang out if you if you're a type of person that likes staying out in person. So the next one is hard truth. OK, OK. So this is these are three three like hard truths about it. Sometimes friendships naturally drift, which we've kind of already talked about. Yeah. Once they've served their purpose in your life, they will leave. Sometimes friends don't support your relationship. Something we've. Also already talked about and here's the thing some of these things we talked about Just with you answering questions to be honest so it like we were already the in line with the supporting relationships can definitely go both ways because As you know, I don't support a current relationship that a friend of mine is in. I do know about that one and That has really messed up our friendship. It has since they've been together, which is almost a year now. But, if it were just one simple thing, I wouldn't feel so strongly about it. But because of the level of the entire situation, I feel so strongly about it that I had to remove myself from the entire situation. Well, sometimes some people can see, on the outside, they can see that someone is a toxic person to you. Yeah. They can. It's not that they're saying it because they're trying to be mean or that they they would rather have time with you and they're jealous like that kind of thing. Sometimes they truly do see something that you don't. Well, this was one of the situations where. You see something that they don't. Yeah, I see something that they don't. But I also can't sit and listen to you complain. about everything that's going on because I can't bring myself down with you. So I have to pull myself out of that. Yep. And that sucks. A lot. A lot of things are like that. And also, I don't know, the the the other side of it where your significant other doesn't support your friendship. Like, I don't know, a lot of people call that controlling. Yeah. But I think it depends on what it is that that is. Their reasoning for, yeah, why are they not supporting? Yeah. Especially if it's someone that you've been friends with for a long time. Yeah. Like the one that you said, it's just because he was uncomfortable. That does not mean that he's being controlled. He like or that he's trying to control you. He's purely. feeling like his boundaries are being not respected by someone who you're friends with and he doesn't feel comfortable saying anything to anyone but you, which is how it should work. And then sometimes you outgrow people, which is basically friendships naturally drift. I love how it like doubles up sometimes. I'm just like, then we kind of already say that, but in different words. Okay. So now we're going to wrap it up and we're going to do another rapid fire. So cancel plans for your partner. Yes or no. It depends. It depends because yes, I would cancel any plans for Jonah. I love him. OK, if I but I'm the clingy one, so don't listen to me. If I have like true plans with someone that like we're going out to do something, I put money into this. got ready. OK, and all Will wants to do is sit on the couch. You're right. You're right. I'm leaving. You're right. I did. That was Zootopia. Jonah said that we were going to go see Zootopia 2 and I was like, okay. And then the next day when it came down to it, he was sleeping and I tried to wake him up and he wouldn't wake up. And I was like, I have to leave for this movie now. And I'd already bought the tickets because he said, go ahead, buy the tickets. Yeah. And I money into it. I'm leaving. And yeah, so I love without them. And I went and I had those. Okay. So, however, if it's just like, I'm just going to their house to sit on their couch. Like this one right here. If like, if I hadn't seen the friend in a long time, I'm going to the friend. But if I saw that friend yesterday and I'm going to sit on their couch instead of my couch, I'm staying home. If Will would like me to. But Will would never say that he won't. Yeah. He wanted me to cancel plans. He would want you to have your have your friend time. Yeah, that's good. Jonah would want me to have my friend time. Most time, Will would probably say, get out. I'm kidding. That's a joke. Will, you're getting beaten on this episode. You and Jonah, just a little bit. OK, weekly friend hang out. Realistic or delusional? Um, I think weekly is a tad delusional. Yeah. Maybe monthly. Cause it's just work. or every two weeks maybe. Weekly's pushing it. Yeah, cause there's just too much going on in the week. I got too much going on. Like, and sometimes I don't always get off on time. Yeah. So like today I didn't get off until 5 30 so I had to I was kind of wanting you to come over at six 30 and, I had to push it to seven so that I would make sure that I'd be out of the shower so that you would, someone would be here to open the door that you knew it wasn't a stranger. I mean, you Jonah, but I don't, he was upstairs and he was, he was probably not going to get out of it because he was trying to keep the animals in. But should your partner be friends with your friends? Not always. always, no. It's great if they are, but at the same time, they don't have necessarily. It's not a need. Is it okay if your best friend doesn't love your partner? No. I think all my friends love Jonah. Yeah, Jonah's great. Yeah, he's the favorite. I would definitely, if that were the case, I would definitely want to know why. Because why aren't you the only one that doesn't agree? especially if that's the only person. Yeah. Now, if there were other people, then maybe there's something up. maybe there's something going on. But if that's the only person, what's your deal? And are you just jealous? That goes back to the the whole friendship thing. Are they only disliking them because they're taking your attention? Yeah. Maybe. OK, double dates fix everything, true or false? No. OK, well, that was that was it. Those were all the good job. You did great. You did fantastic. How long did we talk? We talked for an hour and 31 minutes. longest episode probably that we'll ever have. But we can also cut some things if you want to cut some things. Is there anything you want to cut? No. OK. All right. It's all going in there. Me, me as a person, I prefer a long podcast. So. All righty. Maybe not everybody, but. So we do have some questions for our listeners. ⁓ So are you being a good friend? Like reflect on this. And are you giving your friend grace? So if you have a friend going through this, you know, are you being a good friend and like being there for them and that like, you know, and are you giving them potentially grace on what they're trying to do? However, that does not mean that you should let it slide by. If they're not reaching out to you, don't keep reaching out to them. Let them come to you if you've put some effort in there. It should not be a one way street. So but yeah, contemplate that. Emma, before you go, you've been a listener of the podcast. So can you tell us out of the episodes that you've listened to, which one's your favorite? ⁓ I liked conspiracies. Oh, that was our most recent one. But I'm a big conspiracy theory person. So yeah, we had a we had a good talk about that. Jonah was Jonah wants to do another one of those. So I've got to figure out which one I'm going to do. I'll definitely help you out. I'll give you my favorites. OK, sounds good. All right. Well, thanks so much for being on the podcast. had so much fun. All right. We'll see you guys next week. Bye. Awesome.