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Transcript

Divine Masculine Energy: Signs He's a Real Man vs. a Boy · Mindful Success Path

• 0:32
  I am gonna teach you how to spot high value men and learn the difference between a high value man and a boy, so you don't waste years of your life on a man's.
• 0:43
  Potential.
• 0:44
  Hi, my name is Amanda.
• 0:45
  Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
• 0:52
  So if that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't may say single video that we have coming out on this channel.
• 1:00
  We currently have about three a week coming out on this channel.
• 1:04
  And in addition to that, if you like this video, then give it a thumbs up because it helps us get it in front of more women.
• 1:10
  There is so much confusion out here in terms of, you know, how do I pick a provider, man?
• 1:17
  How do I pick a good partner?
• 1:19
  How do I have conversations with my partner?
• 1:21
  What does this relationship actually look like?
• 1:23
  So you can.
• 1:25
  Do me a favor and give this a like, and it'll help get it in front of more women.
• 1:29
  And as always, I always have extra resources for you guys.
• 1:32
  For those of you who want to go deeper, and I will mention them throughout the video.
• 1:37
  One place where you can get started is if you have very particular questions, then you can sign up for private coaching.
• 1:43
  I do have a few spots available for that, and you can find the link for that below so you can apply.
• 1:50
  Let's go into the exact signs of how to separate real men from immature boys.
• 1:56
  Now, I wanna have a caveat here, right?
• 1:58
  Like, if you're a girl in your twenties and you're dating men in your twenties, then you, they're the men at that point, is what, uh, Alison Armstrong would call the prince.
• 2:08
  They are at a stage of life in their twenties when they're just trying to figure it out, kind of.
• 2:13
  So I understand that that's a part of the.
• 2:17
  Equation here.
• 2:18
  Right?
• 2:19
  But once you start getting into like late twenties, early thirties, forties, fifties, I mean, I hear stories from you guys where the men in their 45 years old and they still haven't figured out what it is that they're doing in order to make money or provide or men out here, oh, I mean, we saw it with Aubrey Marcus.
• 2:35
  That man is in his damn forties and he acts like an immature frat boy.
• 2:39
  So what we're gonna do in this video is we're gonna.
• 2:42
  Talk about how to differentiate between basically a mature, healthy, masculine man who's not going to give you a bunch of problems down the road versus an immature boy.
• 2:54
  So let's get into.
• 2:56
  How I came across a lot of this information.
• 2:59
  So I spent, I've spent the last 15 years coaching women in different areas of their life.
• 3:05
  I started in personal finance, then we moved on to business.
• 3:07
  When I was in the business stages, um, I realized that women would start having a lot of trouble in their relationships.
• 3:14
  A lot of them were very high achieving women, high performing women, and.
• 3:18
  A lot of them were a total disaster in the relationship department.
• 3:22
  In addition to that, when I was in that business, um, I had a lot of male mentors.
• 3:27
  So I was around a lot of really high performing men.
• 3:31
  Men that would say things like, the reason why I'm working so hard is be so I can provide for my wife and kids if they didn't already have a wife and kids.
• 3:39
  Then they would be like, the reason I'm working so hard is so for my future wife and kids, so these are the type of men that we're looking for.
• 3:45
  And I was around those kind of men, um, for about five to six years, I think.
• 3:50
  Something like that.
• 3:51
  And I learned a lot just from observing them.
• 3:55
  So let's go into what the red flags are and then this is how you know, you're dealing with.
• 4:02
  Immature masculine energy, and these are the men that you don't really wanna date, you don't really wanna get involved with because they are going to make your life difficult down the road.
• 4:14
  Right?
• 4:14
  And a lot of women, what they'll do is they will make excuses for bad behavior and they will make excuses for immature men.
• 4:22
  So red flag number one is inconsistent communication.
• 4:26
  So what that looks like is the hot and cold texting disappearing for days, uh, mixed signals.
• 4:34
  And the reason why it happens is because of emotional immaturity, fear of commitment.
• 4:39
  And playing games.
• 4:40
  And then the impact on you is that it creates anxiety and uncertainty because you have no idea where anything is going.
• 4:47
  And I've said it oftentimes in um, my trainings.
• 4:50
  I have said this in the femin Feminine Magnetism Mastery Program and also in the high value woman transformation.
• 4:57
  Class.
• 4:58
  I go a lot deeper into it.
• 4:59
  If you are dealing with mature men, you're not gonna be wondering where you stand in the relationship.
• 5:04
  They're gonna make sure that, you know, if you are married to a mature man, uh, this comes up a lot.
• 5:11
  A lot of women will say things like, well, I'm afraid of a man being a provider because he's going to control me, so on and so forth.
• 5:17
  A mature man is going to let you know exactly where things are and they're gonna talk to you about it.
• 5:23
  Um, it's interesting because.
• 5:25
  Uh, at the time of recording this, my husband has clients here in town for our, the relocation business.
• 5:31
  So my husband runs a relocation business where he helps people move to other countries, and we're in Mexico right now and he has clients here who are finishing their residency process for Mexico.
• 5:42
  And, um, they are a couple.
• 5:45
  And, um, we did an interview with them for my husband's YouTube channel, and one of the things that they said is.
• 5:52
  Couples need to learn how to communicate, and they need to learn how to have not just like basic conversations, but also hard conversations.
• 6:01
  And the reason why the inconsistent communication is gonna be a big problem is because later on, first of all, you're in anxiety.
• 6:07
  But then later on down the road, let's say you're deciding on big things, uh, where to live, how to raise kids, um, maybe there's a financial situation going on.
• 6:16
  Maybe you have aging parents.
• 6:18
  This is life stuff that we're dealing with here.
• 6:21
  You wanna make sure that you have a partner who can communicate and who is not afraid of having those hard conversations.
• 6:27
  And I can tell you this from seeing it in my husband's business, we're we're oftentimes helping couples move to other countries.
• 6:34
  Uh, but also when I was in finance and when I was in business, the couples that knew how to communicate and the couples that knew how to have hard conversations, and the couples who knew how to be direct with each other and not hide things from each other, those are the ones who get what they want in life.
• 6:50
  At the end of the day, they're the ones who have good problem solving skills.
• 6:54
  They're the ones that meet the goals and they're the ones that actually have less drama because what you life is already gonna give you enough drama just by the very nature of how life works.
• 7:05
  You don't want more drama by picking an immature partner.
• 7:09
  So that's red flag number one.
• 7:11
  Re red flag number two is no clear direction.
• 7:15
  So what this looks like, woo, and so many of you complain about this in the comments and in my emails and also in sessions is no career goals.
• 7:24
  They're drifting through life.
• 7:25
  They have zero plans for the future.
• 7:28
  This is happening to a lot of men, particularly in the West, where they're just kind of drifting and they're just kind of chilling.
• 7:36
  And a lot of you kind of, uh, complain to me that, you know, you come home and they're on the couch and they're playing video games.
• 7:43
  I don't understand what's happening.
• 7:44
  I think it may have to do with, uh, the video that I talked about previously where I've said how the last a hundred years or so, at least in the United States and other parts of the west.
• 7:53
  Uh, men have gone through a lot, uh, in the last a hundred years, so maybe that has something to do with it.
• 7:58
  Go check out that video if you didn't.
• 8:00
  But the reality is that a lot of you.
• 8:02
  Are ending up with passive men and you're ending up with men who don't have direction.
• 8:07
  And even worse, a lot of you will date men who are 45 years old and they still don't know where they are going in life.
• 8:15
  And then at the worst situations, from what I've heard, there's women out here funding these men, which is basically like, you are paying this person to date you, you are paying this person, uh, to be married to you because healthy men.
• 8:29
  Healthy masculine men, they have direction, they're very forward focused.
• 8:34
  Okay.
• 8:34
  In fact, well, in full transparency.
• 8:36
  So we noticed this, my husband and I a few weeks ago, we were getting in a bit of a, a tiff, right?
• 8:41
  Because he was very focused on the future and where we're going and the future plan and all of this.
• 8:46
  And I was a little bit more focused in the present moment.
• 8:48
  And the, and the now which the masculine tends to be more focused on the future.
• 8:52
  The feminine tends to be more present, uh, in the now and more process oriented.
• 8:57
  And we were getting into, it was causing a little bit of a rub of communication between us, uh, until we realized what was going on.
• 9:03
  Like, oh, he's being super masculine, thinking about the future.
• 9:06
  She's being super feminine focused on the presence and the process.
• 9:10
  Right?
• 9:10
  And then we realized, um, what was happening.
• 9:13
  But one of the things that my husband's very good at is constantly thinking about the future, right?
• 9:18
  So in business, he's always like, okay, where is this gonna be in three years?
• 9:21
  We're making plans now, right?
• 9:23
  To be in Southeast Asia.
• 9:26
  In a few years we're not.
• 9:27
  So it's one of those things where there's like a, a forward purpose.
• 9:31
  There's a forward thinking, or we have conversations about money and we run the numbers and we're like, okay, the goal is financial freedom in X amount of time.
• 9:40
  Um, when we were dating, my husband knew within 90 days.
• 9:43
  That he wanted to commit to me, he knew, and then he was having me come in on decisions in terms of like, Hey, where are we gonna live?
• 9:50
  We knew that we wanted the international lifestyle, but we were starting in Mexico and he's like, Hey, let me ask her like where she likes in Mexico so we can get.
• 9:58
  Started on this, right?
• 10:00
  So my husband is very ambitious, right?
• 10:02
  Like the joke is that my husband, my mother says this instead of the joke, like, he doesn't know how to relax, right?
• 10:08
  And it's not that he doesn't know how to relax, um, a lot.
• 10:11
  I've been around a lot of high performing ambitious men, and to average people, it looks like they don't know how to relax.
• 10:19
  What's actually going on is that they're so forward focused and they're so creative and they're.
• 10:23
  Expanding into the future and they wanna make sure that their families are good, that that's actually, uh, what's going on.
• 10:31
  Do I need to remind him to relax every once in a while?
• 10:34
  Sure.
• 10:34
  Right.
• 10:35
  But I try not to do too much of it because I know that he's a very masculine man and he's always thinking about that future, um, and that expansion.
• 10:43
  So if you're dealing with a guy.
• 10:46
  Who neither has the direction, nor the mindset for it, then you probably gotta move on because you're gonna end up paying for that guy, uh, for a lot of things, or you're gonna get very frustrated.
• 10:57
  With him later.
• 10:58
  Uh, there's a very well-known manifestation life coach right now who's going through a nasty divorce, uh, pretty publicly.
• 11:05
  And she has come out and said, you know, I got with my husband.
• 11:09
  He wasn't, you know, awesome with the money or all that kind of stuff.
• 11:13
  I've seen her do, um, interviews about that before.
• 11:16
  Well, it turns out that she's been carrying.
• 11:19
  95% plus of all their expenses for like 10 years.
• 11:24
  And not just the personal expenses, but also the expenses of a business that they had together.
• 11:29
  That on paper she put it as 50 50, but in reality she was doing over 90% of it.
• 11:35
  But in public, it looked like the business was owned 50 50.
• 11:38
  And then in addition to that, um.
• 11:40
  She was also floating his expenses for his business.
• 11:44
  So if you end up getting with a guy who doesn't have career goals and is kind of drifting through life and isn't good at money, and I could do other conversations about money specifically because most people period are not good at money and it's this.
• 11:56
  Skill that needs to be learned.
• 11:58
  Um, so if you might end up with a guy who's really good at earning, but maybe not so great at managing it, like you can fix that if he has the, the mindset, uh, to do it right.
• 12:09
  However, in this case, you know, the guy and we could kind of tell, right?
• 12:13
  Like that was like, uh, is he taking advantage of her?
• 12:15
  Is he, you know.
• 12:16
  Uh, doing that kind of thing.
• 12:18
  But a lot of times women will make excuses because women will be like, well, if I'm making all the money, then I can go marry for love, which is great.
• 12:25
  Amazing, awesome.
• 12:27
  But look at how many women that that turns out horribly for.
• 12:31
  And then she ends up becoming.
• 12:34
  Overburdened.
• 12:35
  So that's what we're trying to avoid here.
• 12:37
  We're trying to avoid you becoming overburdened.
• 12:40
  And the way that you avoid becoming overburdened is by learning how to choose a man who has direction, who has career goals, who has ambition, who has plans for the future.
• 12:52
  And masculine man men will have these things and they will let you know about these things.
• 12:58
  Now, why does this happen in men?
• 13:00
  There's a lack of purpose.
• 13:01
  They avoid responsibility.
• 13:03
  They've got Peter Pan syndrome.
• 13:05
  A lot of these men, that's why you got men in their thirties, forties, and fifties.
• 13:08
  Who still act like children.
• 13:10
  Um, and by the way, I've met men who are in their early thirties who act way more mature than men that I dated that were 11 years older than me.
• 13:19
  So it's not necessarily an age thing.
• 13:22
  Um, I don't, I wanna be clear about that.
• 13:24
  It's more of a what are the signs kind of a thing.
• 13:27
  'cause I think a lot of people will oversimplify it and they'll be like, you need a data guy nine years older than you.
• 13:32
  And if we're doing like bell curve.
• 13:34
  You know, coaching and just like what the average person should be looking for.
• 13:38
  'cause we're talking about millions of people.
• 13:40
  Then yes, there is a lot higher likelihood that if you get with a guy older than you, then he's going to be a lot more mature than you.
• 13:46
  But there's plenty of men out here who are older and still act like children.
• 13:50
  My husband has colleagues who are in their damn fifties and multimillionaires and cannot figure out relationships to save their lives because they still act like children.
• 13:59
  So that's why I'm going more into.
• 14:02
  Uh, the red flag, uh, situation of it all.
• 14:05
  Now, if a guy's in his twenties, then yes, obviously there's a high likelihood that you know, he's gonna have more of the.
• 14:12
  Not really knowing what's going on.
• 14:13
  He's figuring stuff out.
• 14:15
  So that's like normal in your twenties, right?
• 14:18
  And even still in your twenties, there's more and more men coming out now who have a lot of direction and they're getting started very early.
• 14:23
  But if you're dealing with a dude in his thirties and forties and fifties and beyond, right?
• 14:28
  Then obviously.
• 14:29
  There is a problem and the impact that it has on you is that you become his mother figure and you become overburdened.
• 14:36
  You are not his wife and you are not his partner because you're the one trying to take care of everything.
• 14:40
  And I've seen a lot of big time, like life coaches and things who are women now getting divorced, uh, because.
• 14:48
  Of this exact thing.
• 14:49
  They kept making excuses for men who didn't really have direction, and they said things to themselves like, oh, I make all the money so I don't really have to choose a man based on whether or not he can provide.
• 15:00
  And then several years down the road, it turns into a huge problem because she's burned out and overburdened.
• 15:06
  I saw one say something the other day that said, you know what, if you choose your partner, uh, based on love.
• 15:13
  Not money.
• 15:13
  And I was like, oh God, I hope people don't take this advice.
• 15:16
  Right.
• 15:16
  Not because you can't have love and money at the same time, but, but because that's what women tell themselves when they're choosing partners, that they way, way, way.
• 15:26
  I'll earn and they will tell themselves things like money doesn't matter.
• 15:30
  His ability to provide doesn't matter.
• 15:33
  And I wanna flip that on its head.
• 15:34
  What if you get married with a provider and then you learn how to make money for fun?
• 15:39
  Because when you learn how to make money for fun and you're not in survival mode, you're gonna make a lot more money, which then helps the household build wealth and all that kind of stuff.
• 15:48
  But the reverse does not work so another red flag is if the band that you are.
• 15:53
  Dating or dealing with is reactive versus defensive.
• 15:56
  So what that looks like is he gets angry easily, he blames others, he can't handle feedback, and the reason why it happens is because he has a wounded ego.
• 16:05
  Maybe there's unhealed trauma, maybe there's emotional instability, and then the impact on you.
• 16:11
  Is that you're walking on eggshells or there is constant drama.
• 16:14
  So this is one of the things that I was talking about earlier where people need to, we have a, a couple here that my husband is helping with their immigration process, um, here to Mexico.
• 16:23
  And this was like a conversation.
• 16:25
  All four of us were having that couple runs a business together.
• 16:28
  They've been running a business together for like 10 years.
• 16:31
  They've also reached financial freedom together and now they're going into the international lifestyle.
• 16:36
  And this is one of the things that we talked about constantly.
• 16:38
  There were two things.
• 16:39
  Thing number one was people need to learn how to communicate and have harder conversations.
• 16:43
  And thing number two, couples need goals, right, to reach together.
• 16:46
  And then they wouldn't fight over dumb shit because they're working on something, um, a lot bigger.
• 16:51
  But in this case, you know, if they're reactive and defensive versus learning how to communicate even in difficult situations, that's gonna be an issue for you down the road.
• 17:02
  Red flag number four is that they have taker energy.
• 17:06
  And what that looks like is that they expect you to pay, they expect you to do everything, and he expects you to solve his problems.
• 17:13
  Now the reason why this happens is because you have a lot of men out here who actually are quite entitled, especially in the red pill era and all that.
• 17:20
  Like if you actually look at who's Googling, uh, how to be the prize, there's a lot of men googling how they can be the prize.
• 17:27
  There's men out here who want damn flowers for you to take'em to dinner, for you to pay their bills.
• 17:32
  Like this is a thing that's a going on out here and what it is really.
• 17:37
  At the end of the day's entitlement.
• 17:39
  And there's also a lack of masculine drive to provide, which already tells you that he is not in his healthy masculine energy because healthy, masculine men are wired to protect your provider, and there's lots of reasons why men end up.
• 17:53
  Not wanting to do that, uh, which I went through in another video.
• 17:57
  So you understand how they get there and they can get out of it, of course.
• 18:00
  But that doesn't mean that you have to wait for them to get out of it.
• 18:03
  They're just not ready to date.
• 18:04
  Move on.
• 18:05
  That's it.
• 18:05
  And then the impact, right, is that you are exhausted from giving without.
• 18:10
  Receiving.
• 18:11
  And again, this goes back to a lot of the bullshit that I've been seeing from big time life coaches on the internet right now, where the women make a lot more money and then they're telling other women, you know, just, just choose love.
• 18:23
  Like don't marry a guy based on his ability to provide.
• 18:26
  What if it was for love?
• 18:27
  What if it was for fun?
• 18:29
  And I'm like, yeah, ask a lot of women who've ended up paying spousal support, how that works out.
• 18:34
  Ask a lot of women who have ended up exhausted and wanting to divorce that man.
• 18:39
  Five years down the road.
• 18:40
  Um, how that works out.
• 18:42
  Now, of course there are examples of women who've been able to do that very well.
• 18:45
  Dolly Parton is one of them.
• 18:47
  She was with her husband for like 60 years.
• 18:49
  Uh, Oprah is another one.
• 18:50
  Her and Steadman.
• 18:52
  But these are outliers.
• 18:53
  And I noticed something with these, which I think is really important, and I think it has to do with that taker energy is in both the case of Oprah and Dolly Parton, um, it doesn't seem like the men that they're with want the spotlight.
• 20:07
  It doesn't seem like the men that they're with are in competition with them.
• 20:11
  Now you contrast that to Cardi B, who made a lot more money.
• 20:15
  Then offset and look at all the freaking drama Cardi B is in right now with, with the, the first baby daddy, and now she's got a second baby daddy.
• 20:22
  And it's like a whole thing, right?
• 20:23
  So.
• 20:24
  In reality, right?
• 20:26
  There are men out here who will take your energy, who will compete with you, who will, um, honestly, there's men out here who are jealous of you.
• 20:35
  A lot of the men out here who have that taker energy are jealous of women.
• 20:39
  It's insane, uh, when you think about it.
• 20:42
  But you know, I have seen right, that, for example, if she makes a lot more money, then one of the things that's interesting is that the husband in that case, usually.
• 20:54
  Uh, does not want to compete with her in any way.
• 20:59
  Uh, the husband and, and in case of both, you know, Dolly Parton and Steadman like.
• 21:03
  Dolly Parton got with her husband very young.
• 21:05
  They were together 60 years.
• 21:07
  But in the case of of Steadman, you know, he made his own money before he got to Oprah.
• 21:11
  He didn't need Oprah's money to live right, like he was doing just fine himself and he's never wanted to be like in the spotlight or compete with Oprah or any of that.
• 21:21
  So I would actually say that's another red flag that I would add to this because when I look at the stuff that goes on with well-known people and celebrities and business people and life coaches, I have noticed.
• 21:32
  That if you have two partners who are constantly trying to compete to be the star, then that usually ends up.
• 21:38
  Being, um, a problem, but you can avoid getting with a man who's in that taker energy by getting with a man who's a provider and is automatically already in the giver energy.
• 21:50
  And then the final red flag is no emotional regulation.
• 21:54
  So what that looks like is mood swings unable to handle.
• 21:58
  Explosive reactions, again, cannot have hard conversations.
• 22:01
  You will have to have hard conversations because life will life.
• 22:05
  Um, and the reason why it happens is because they never learned emotional maturity and they avoid inner work.
• 22:10
  Men have to work on themselves too.
• 22:12
  Okay?
• 22:12
  Every human being on the face of the planet needs to work on themselves, and the impact is that you become his emotional caretaker.
• 22:19
  And again, you're running around exhausted all the time.
• 22:23
  That's the key.
• 22:24
  When you get with a man who has all these red flags.
• 22:27
  The main thing that you're gonna have to end up dealing with down the road is exhaustion.
• 22:31
  So just avoid them now, mature masculine energy.
• 22:35
  AKA real men or men who have matured here are the green flags.
• 22:39
  So, number one, consistent and reliable.
• 22:41
  That is the first thing I noticed about my husband.
• 22:44
  Uh, when I met him, we weren't even, uh, dating or anything yet.
• 22:47
  We were friends and work colleagues first.
• 22:49
  And uh, first thing I noticed about my husband and I was like, ding, ding, ding, green flag.
• 22:53
  Uh, was the fact that my husband always did what he said he was going to do.
• 22:57
  No matter what.
• 22:59
  And if for whatever reason he couldn't, then there was communication, um, about it.
• 23:03
  That was huge because up until that point, I had dealt, uh, throughout my dating history with men who were not consistent and reliable.
• 23:10
  And when you're with a man who's un inconsistent and unreliable, you're constantly stressed out and you're anxious, so.
• 23:17
  And it's not good for your nervous system.
• 23:19
  So consistent and reliable is green flag number one.
• 23:23
  Green flag number two is having purpose and direction.
• 23:26
  What are the C clear career goals and ambitions?
• 23:28
  Are they working towards something, uh, meaningful?
• 23:31
  What is his mission beyond just dating and also taking responsibility for his life?
• 23:36
  Now, I wanna say that there is a caveat to this because sometimes women will take this and they'll be like, I need to be with a guy with a multimillionaire.
• 23:43
  And then that of course causes friction because there's only so many of those in the world, and it eventually just becomes a math problem.
• 23:49
  So one thing that I would say is if you're with a man and he's just kind of down and out, but he has proven before that he can do it, you're fine.
• 23:58
  Right?
• 23:58
  Like when I got with my husband, I already knew he could earn six figures.
• 24:02
  He'd already done it with agencies.
• 24:04
  He'd already done it in multiple businesses.
• 24:06
  So I knew that no matter what this man decided to do, he was gonna make money.
• 24:10
  And I.
• 24:11
  Didn't have to be worried about it.
• 24:12
  So that would be one of the things to look out for is in addition to purpose and direction, do they actually have the skills?
• 24:20
  To be able to make money, um, and provide, so for example, in my husband's case, he has highly valuable marketable skills.
• 24:27
  He knows how to sell, he knows how to market.
• 24:30
  Uh, he knows how to program and put systems and operations together.
• 24:34
  All of those things are very highly valued in the marketplace.
• 24:38
  And then on top of that, you combine that with his ambition and his always looking at the future.
• 24:42
  I'm good.
• 24:43
  I'm gonna be fine.
• 24:44
  So that's one of the things that, that you wanna look for as well.
• 24:48
  And the reason why it matters is you're joining his journey, not becoming necessarily his purpose.
• 24:55
  Like you will give him a reason for his purpose, um, because he's gonna wanna go even more once he has a reason for his purpose.
• 25:03
  Uh, but you don't actually become the only thing.
• 25:07
  So the re, the way that you spot it is you wanna ask about his goals and you wanna listen to his passion, and you wanna see what kind of skills they actually have.
• 25:14
  Green flag number three is that they are emotionally stable and grounded.
• 25:18
  Masculine men are stoic.
• 25:20
  They are earthy.
• 25:21
  That's what it feels like.
• 25:22
  They are grounded.
• 25:23
  Um, they are stable, right?
• 25:25
  Because what happens, the feminine is the one where her emotions flow a lot more.
• 25:29
  Not in an erratic way, right?
• 25:31
  But like, just from one week to the next, because of our cycles, we're gonna feel like a completely different person.
• 25:36
  Sometimes.
• 25:37
  Um, and with the masculine men, they're stoic.
• 25:40
  The mature ones are very stoic and very grounded, and you know it because you feel it.
• 25:46
  What that looks like.
• 25:47
  It looks like they stay calm under pressure.
• 25:49
  It looks like handling conflict maturely again, that communication.
• 25:53
  Taking feedback without defensiveness and then processing emotions in healthy ways.
• 25:58
  And the reason why it matters is because it creates a peaceful, secure relationship dynamic rather than constant drama.
• 26:04
  And the way that you spot it is you're gonna see how he handles stress or disagreement.
• 26:07
  This was another green flag that I noticed, um, with my husband because the first year that we were together, we were dealing with a lot.
• 26:14
  Um, I mean, we were.
• 26:15
  Mo I was moving to another country.
• 26:17
  We dealt with a death of a parent.
• 26:20
  Uh, there was a remodeling of a house.
• 26:22
  I mean, it, it was just all kinds of insanity for like a six month period.
• 26:25
  And I saw how he handled all of it like a champ.
• 26:29
  And I was like, that's a green flag.
• 26:31
  Um, so that's one of the things that.
• 26:33
  You wanna look for as well.
• 26:34
  Green flag number four is natural provider energy and the desire to provide.
• 26:39
  So offering to pay, wanting to help and support you.
• 26:42
  Taking initiative in the planning, generous with the time, energy, and resources.
• 26:48
  And then the reason why it matters is because he shows that he values you and.
• 26:52
  To invest in you.
• 26:53
  And the way that you spot it is if he naturally steps into the provider role.
• 26:58
  And then the final green flag is he's protective and caring.
• 27:01
  So what that looks like is that you feel safe and secure.
• 27:04
  He stands up for you when needed.
• 27:06
  Uh, he considers your wellbeing in his decisions, and that he creates a sense of shelter and protection.
• 27:12
  And the reason why it matters is because that activates your feminine energy and it creates polarity.
• 27:17
  And you need polarity in order for there to be attraction.
• 27:20
  And the way that you spot it is you notice that you feel safer and more feminine around him.
• 27:25
  It's interesting because when I'm out with my husband, I will immediately get into.
• 27:29
  Like if we're out in a group of people or we're just out, I will immediately get into, uh, more of a feminine type of like headspace and energy, because I feel safe to.
• 27:39
  Now here's how to spot the signs quickly now.
• 27:42
  So in the first five minutes, here's some observations, like first five minutes of meeting this person.
• 27:46
  How does he greet you?
• 27:47
  How is he speaking?
• 27:49
  How is he treating others?
• 27:50
  That's so important.
• 27:51
  And then what's his presence like?
• 27:52
  Is his presence grounding?
• 27:54
  Is it calm or is it nervous and trying too hard?
• 27:57
  Now here's some things to look out for on a first date.
• 27:59
  Did he plan the date?
• 28:01
  Instead of being like, what do you wanna do?
• 28:03
  Is he paying, is he naturally reaching for his wallet versus expecting you to pay?
• 28:08
  Uh, what's the conversation about?
• 28:10
  Is it about you?
• 28:11
  Or does he only talk about himself red flag?
• 28:13
  If they only talk about themselves and the, and is their follow up.
• 28:16
  Are there clear next steps or is he kind of vague and like disappears?
• 28:20
  And in early dating, here are some of the things you wanna look out for.
• 28:23
  And again, this is so you don't waste years of your life down the road.
• 28:26
  So in early dating, what's his consistency like?
• 28:29
  Is he regular, is he predictable, is he reliable, or is it very sporadic?
• 28:33
  With the investment, is he putting effort to see you versus expecting you to do all the work?
• 28:37
  Uh, integration?
• 28:38
  Is he starting to introduce you into his life or is he keeping you kind of separate and on the side and a little bit of a secret?
• 28:43
  Don't get with men who are trying to keep you a secret, uh, in the future?
• 28:47
  Is he talking about plans together or is he avoiding.
• 28:50
  Any of that, um, kind of talk whatsoever.
• 28:53
  So the, these are some of the things that you wanna look out for.
• 28:57
  And I've gotten a lot of questions about, okay, well how do I communicate when I'm in these like, sticky situations?
• 29:02
  For that, I recommend getting the high value woman transformation program'cause we have a whole module there that's really about boundaries.
• 29:09
  Uh, but being open-hearted, but having boundaries and learning how to communicate when you're in these sticky situations.
• 29:15
  So that's the one that I would recommend for you, for those of you who've been asking that, because it's gonna give you a lot more clarity for those of you in your heads who are already like, okay, that's great, but I'm in this situation with this guy.
• 29:26
  How do I express this, uh, to them?
• 29:29
  High value transformation is what you wanna check out in, it's gonna be in the description below.
• 29:35
  So basically the main thing between real men versus boys is that real men.
• 29:41
  Their maturity shows up in consistency, purpose, and emotional stability.
• 29:46
  You're gonna wanna learn how to trust your instincts on this one.
• 29:48
  So if something feels off, pay attention to that feeling and you really have to realize that you deserve this.
• 29:53
  A lot of women just go around dating and they feel like.
• 29:57
  Crumbs is normal or being treated poorly is normal, or them having five baby mamas is normal, is what we're seeing with social media right now and things like that.
• 30:06
  And they feel like that's all they can get.
• 30:09
  And the reality is that it's not true.
• 30:11
  So a lot of this starts with you and realizing that you deserve better than being treated poorly.
• 30:16
  And when you have standards, it actually attracts.
• 30:19
  Quality men.
• 30:19
  They are super into standards.
• 30:22
  Um, and again, high value woman transformation, uh, goes more into how the psychology of all of that works.
• 30:29
  So thank you so much for giving me your time today.
• 30:31
  Make sure to give it a, like, if you liked this, it'll help us get it in front of more women.
• 30:36
  And also make sure to, uh, subscribe if you haven't done so already and hit the notification balance.
• 30:41
  You don't miss a single video, and I will catch you on the next one.