Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / Someone’s Getting Their Period…

Transcript

Someone’s Getting Their Period… · Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler

0:00
Speaker 1: Well, hello, hello Brandon. Hi. Uh what an exciting time
0:06
Speaker 1: to be alive. Right, Everything's opening, people are pumped up.
0:11
Speaker 1: Everyone's just got a little bit more optimism. Feels like
0:15
Speaker 1: it's spreading around the air or something is in the air.
0:18
Speaker 1: For sure. Summer is underway. I know summer's underway. I'm
0:22
Speaker 1: a new homeowner. I bought a new house that I'm renovating.
0:25
Speaker 1: That's exciting. You know what my friend said to me
0:28
Speaker 1: the other day, She was like, this is so good
0:29
Speaker 1: for you to have a creative outlet that is not
0:31
Speaker 1: related to work. And I was like, oh my god,
0:34
Speaker 1: I never thought about it that way, And that is
0:36
Speaker 1: such a great way for me to look at renovating
0:39
Speaker 1: a house. And it's going to take nine months, just
0:41
Speaker 1: like a pregnancy. So when it's over, I'm going to
0:44
Speaker 1: have a baby in a house. What are we doing today? Today,
0:50
Speaker 1: We're gonna be talking about obsession to some degree, people
0:54
Speaker 1: who either can't move on or just a little too
0:57
Speaker 1: into something, or someone a very time movie esque exactly.
1:02
Speaker 1: Sarah Clona would love this. And we have an update.
1:05
Speaker 1: We have an update from the Gluttonius who was in
1:08
Speaker 1: an episode a couple of weeks ago. So I don't
1:11
Speaker 1: know a lot of people if you listen out of order,
1:13
Speaker 1: will throw back and hear from people that we've given
1:16
Speaker 1: advice to or get updates from. So it's always good
1:19
Speaker 1: to listen to every episode so you kind of know
1:21
Speaker 1: what we're talking about. And this submission, she had an
1:25
Speaker 1: issue with overeating that she would just go through phases
1:28
Speaker 1: where she would kind of binge and then she would
1:30
Speaker 1: get back on track and you know, feel like she
1:32
Speaker 1: was living a healthier lifestyle. So it's a real pendulum
1:35
Speaker 1: that she just swings one way or the other. But
1:36
Speaker 1: she writes in after hearing us on the episode, and
1:39
Speaker 1: she says, hey, guys, I listened to the episode this
1:41
Speaker 1: morning and heard my submission being read. Oh my god,
1:44
Speaker 1: have fun and it's not fun. I'm a single mother
1:46
Speaker 1: to a son, and I have never once considered thinking
1:49
Speaker 1: about him as a tool to stop myself from binging.
1:52
Speaker 1: He doesn't see me do it, but has seen my
1:53
Speaker 1: emotional struggle with my weight ging. He tells me I'm
1:56
Speaker 1: not fat and that he loves me no matter what.
1:58
Speaker 1: After hearing my email being read back, I cried. I
2:00
Speaker 1: got the answer I needed. I signed up for Venice
2:02
Speaker 1: Nutrition and I'm going to start my journey and keep
2:05
Speaker 1: you updated. Isn't that nice? I could climax. I could
2:10
Speaker 1: seriously climax. I mean, oh, this is amazing. And I
2:15
Speaker 1: think it's important to acknowledge here that that episode was
2:19
Speaker 1: not about being thin. It wasn't about losing weight to
2:23
Speaker 1: be prettier or better looking. It was about being healthy.
2:27
Speaker 1: So however that looks to you, whatever that change might
2:31
Speaker 1: be in your life, just to feel better about yourself,
2:33
Speaker 1: just to feel like you're making healthier decisions. And again,
2:36
Speaker 1: whatever we talk about here, you know, take with a
2:38
Speaker 1: grain of salt, because it's just through two grains of salt. Right.
2:42
Speaker 1: I would like to make a note that there's another
2:44
Speaker 1: great resource for binge eaters and chronic dieters and it's
2:46
Speaker 1: a podcast. It's called Half Size Me with how the Robinson.
2:50
Speaker 1: So she gives you a lot of like good tools
2:53
Speaker 1: for sticking with like new ways of eating and learning
2:56
Speaker 1: to break the cycle of starving and binging. So that's
2:59
Speaker 1: a really good podcast to listen to if you are
3:01
Speaker 1: struggling with your weight. Well, I mean this is a
3:04
Speaker 1: huge victory, So another problem solved, and I think after
3:07
Speaker 1: that we deserve a break who's our first caller, sweetheart? Well,
3:11
Speaker 1: we have multiple callers today and the first one, her
3:15
Speaker 1: name is Anya. Is it the singer? And yeah. She's
3:21
Speaker 1: a fifty some odd year old female from Florida, and
3:25
Speaker 1: she writes in Dear Chelsea, I'm currently in pre menopause
3:28
Speaker 1: and I'm starting to seriously this is taking a turn.
3:31
Speaker 1: We haven't talked about periods in a long time, so
3:34
Speaker 1: this is almost like a universe manifesting periods. We also
3:38
Speaker 1: talked about you recently, how I would love for you
3:41
Speaker 1: to go through menopause and how I would love for
3:43
Speaker 1: you to get a period. Hi, Hi, Hi you is
3:47
Speaker 1: it on you? Yes? Okay, Anya, I haven't read your submission,
3:51
Speaker 1: so why don't you just give us an overview what's
3:53
Speaker 1: going on? So back in November I started hearing about
3:58
Speaker 1: Harry Styles a little bit more. That was at the
4:02
Speaker 1: same time, pre mental pause was creeping in hot flesh
4:06
Speaker 1: is mood, swings, everything, and I started to obsess with him. So,
4:12
Speaker 1: since I'm usually not a stand person, more a modest,
4:16
Speaker 1: quiet admirer, I was wondering if this has to do
4:20
Speaker 1: with the pandemic, pre mental pause and lack of travel,
4:25
Speaker 1: or do I need some serious help with your obsession
4:28
Speaker 1: over Harry Styles. Yes, I think an obsession with Harry
4:32
Speaker 1: Styles is pretty typical for people these days. I think
4:36
Speaker 1: it probably just has to do. Yeah, your hormones are
4:38
Speaker 1: just probably right in line. It sounds like with a
4:40
Speaker 1: teenage girls hormones because they're also in love with Harry Styles,
4:44
Speaker 1: and so are older women. Harry's has a way with
4:46
Speaker 1: older women. His girlfriend Ollive you a Wild is older,
4:49
Speaker 1: and he definitely likes and appreciates older women. So, I mean,
4:54
Speaker 1: I think your fantasy is it could be because of menopause,
4:57
Speaker 1: but I would think that menopause is when you start
5:00
Speaker 1: to lose your sexual feelings towards people. You wouldn't gain
5:03
Speaker 1: an obsession, So maybe you're not really even in menopause yet.
5:07
Speaker 1: That could be. Well, that's why I said, like kind
5:09
Speaker 1: of like pre menopause, like Perry menopause, but I think
5:12
Speaker 1: Perry menopause can last for many, many years. But I mean,
5:15
Speaker 1: I think it's good to have an obsession. It gives
5:17
Speaker 1: you something to like masturbate too, if you're into that.
5:20
Speaker 1: It gives you something. Harry is really cute to look at, obviously,
5:23
Speaker 1: I mean, he's like adorable are you ejecting? Yeah, we
5:27
Speaker 1: should have Harry call into the show. That would be
5:29
Speaker 1: really funny. I have been just dying to see him
5:32
Speaker 1: walk in or out of the building. Yeah, he's funny.
5:35
Speaker 1: He's very funny, Harry Styles. I'm going to actually take
5:38
Speaker 1: a picture of you and send it to him and
5:40
Speaker 1: say that you don't want me to Okay, Well, he'd
5:45
Speaker 1: be delighted to hear that he has another fan in you.
5:49
Speaker 1: If that's even your real name, that is my real name.
5:53
Speaker 1: All right, well that's great. Look at that crush received reciprocated.
5:57
Speaker 1: So just pretend you're dating him and start telling people, Well,
6:00
Speaker 1: don't do that, but just enjoy it. Just enjoy your
6:04
Speaker 1: new relationship. I'm trying. My son is not happy about it.
6:08
Speaker 1: But oh, I didn't realize that there was a son involved.
6:10
Speaker 1: I'm sure he's probably like, I don't need my mother
6:12
Speaker 1: to be into Harry Styles exactly. Yeah, but your son,
6:15
Speaker 1: he's you know what, this is your private life. Perfect.
6:19
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. You're welcome. Okay, thanks, thank you.
6:25
Speaker 1: This is a term that I don't understand all this
6:28
Speaker 1: fucking lingo. But I think Stan is like a super fan.
6:31
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I didn't know what that meant either. God,
6:33
Speaker 1: sometimes I feel so stupid. I'm like, what I know,
6:35
Speaker 1: I feel so old? Well yeah, yeah right. I also
6:39
Speaker 1: don't like anything trendy, like you hated wheneveryone said, or
6:42
Speaker 1: when people say or anyways anyways. When everyone's saying anyways anyways,
6:49
Speaker 1: it's like, no, it's anyway. There's no s at the
6:52
Speaker 1: end of anyway. And like, I know, I'm such a stickler,
6:55
Speaker 1: Like it actually makes me irritates the ship out of
6:58
Speaker 1: me when people say that word, because as as soon
7:00
Speaker 1: as they say it, I lose respect for them. I
7:03
Speaker 1: have such respect for you correcting, Yeah, you appreciate, but
7:08
Speaker 1: most people don't want to be correct. I don't want
7:09
Speaker 1: to sound stupid now, but other people don't mind sounding stupid.
7:12
Speaker 1: People don't care, you know, Like I I'm such a
7:14
Speaker 1: stickler for grammar because I didn't go to college obviously,
7:16
Speaker 1: so I'm overcompensating. But I take it very seriously. Just
7:19
Speaker 1: like last night at dinner, I said to my girlfriends,
7:21
Speaker 1: I used the word platitudinizing, and they're like, uh, not
7:24
Speaker 1: a word. I said, you want to make a bet,
7:26
Speaker 1: and so I just had you look it up on
7:27
Speaker 1: the way in and then set them all the link
7:30
Speaker 1: to the definition of platitudinizing, and you're said, I guess
7:35
Speaker 1: who went to community college for one semester? Me. Do
7:39
Speaker 1: you have a celebrity crusher? Like who has been your
7:41
Speaker 1: biggest one before you became famous? Was there someone that,
7:44
Speaker 1: like you really loved Bruce Springsteen? I mean I liked them,
7:51
Speaker 1: I didn't love them. I was never like wanted to
7:54
Speaker 1: like sit on bon Jovi's face or anything like that. Like, uh,
7:58
Speaker 1: Simon le bar On from R and A Rand was
8:00
Speaker 1: like big. That was a big deal for me. That
8:03
Speaker 1: was like my first major man crush. I loved him
8:05
Speaker 1: and my sister like Nick Rhodes. Then I had a
8:08
Speaker 1: crush on a famous baseball player, and then I think, yeah,
8:12
Speaker 1: that that was it. I always liked older men, even
8:14
Speaker 1: when I was like a child, I liked older guys.
8:17
Speaker 1: Which you dated an athlete now, um, yeah, I can
8:21
Speaker 1: see you with the baseball player. Yeah, sure, I'd date anyone,
8:23
Speaker 1: you know how open minded. I just like, I like
8:25
Speaker 1: to keep that out in the open for everyone listening
8:28
Speaker 1: that you are looking and you're ready to receive receive penetration.
8:33
Speaker 1: What is your feeling on people abbreviating things like California.
8:36
Speaker 1: Nothing makes stach, it makesach annoys or cow so like
8:42
Speaker 1: I like hashtags, I find annoying any sort of anything
8:45
Speaker 1: that you abbreviate, even in text messages, like what does
8:49
Speaker 1: everyone says dead now dead dead, I'm dead or period
8:54
Speaker 1: in the sense is like conversation, but then the conversation
8:57
Speaker 1: is never over. I wish it were. I know so
9:01
Speaker 1: many times people are taking so long for like what
9:05
Speaker 1: could be just a quick transaction, you know, they take
9:08
Speaker 1: it so slowly and you end up talking to someone
9:13
Speaker 1: from way longer than you need to. What about these
9:16
Speaker 1: people who want to get on a call when it
9:17
Speaker 1: could be an email there is nothing more. Let's let's
9:21
Speaker 1: do zoom send me an email. It will take two seconds, right,
9:25
Speaker 1: and you'll get an immediate response. I also on that
9:27
Speaker 1: subject matter, don't really like to FaceTime anyone, And I
9:31
Speaker 1: know people really like it, but you have to sit
9:33
Speaker 1: there and hold the phone, like without your air pods
9:35
Speaker 1: in Like when you're on the phone with somebody, you
9:36
Speaker 1: can get a million things done, Like if you have
9:38
Speaker 1: your air pods and still pay attention or stop paying attention,
9:43
Speaker 1: you know, and get a million things done. But FaceTime
9:46
Speaker 1: is really hard. It's annoying for me to like, you know,
9:48
Speaker 1: it has its time. It comes in handy, yeah, right
9:51
Speaker 1: for brief interludes like when you were in Canada and
9:53
Speaker 1: I would FaceTime you and have shown me how to
9:55
Speaker 1: turn the oven on. Ye, and I would FaceTime your
9:57
Speaker 1: two daughters up there that you've left behind. Fatherhood was good.
10:01
Speaker 1: That was good as a father. I am their father still,
10:03
Speaker 1: So that's why they called me down. And I'm just
10:05
Speaker 1: so happy you don't have kids. If you had kids,
10:07
Speaker 1: I don't those girls. Are those girls really know? You
10:10
Speaker 1: couldn't And if you couldn't do this job, well, I
10:12
Speaker 1: guess we would have never met Brandon. I don't even
10:14
Speaker 1: want to think about such things. That's just like a
10:16
Speaker 1: bad nightmare, all right. The next submission comes on, and
10:22
Speaker 1: right onto the next mission, it comes from Steve, who
10:25
Speaker 1: is from Chicago. He writes, Dear Chelsea, I had a
10:29
Speaker 1: rough job lost a few years ago, and I'm having
10:31
Speaker 1: a hard time getting over and I can't let go
10:33
Speaker 1: the anger. What do you suggest move the funk on? Buddy?
10:38
Speaker 1: Tell him that because he's on the phone. Okay, great, sweetheart,
10:41
Speaker 1: Look I'm gonna should I open my movies. Yeah, well
10:43
Speaker 1: he mentioned skiing naked with you, so I don't know
10:46
Speaker 1: if you should do anything to egg him on. Steve,
10:49
Speaker 1: where are you? I'm here, Steve, Hi, we can't see you.
10:53
Speaker 1: Where's your turn your camera on? Alright, Steve, listen, we
10:58
Speaker 1: don't worry about it. I don't need to see you.
10:59
Speaker 1: I can are you. It sounds like you're stuck in
11:02
Speaker 1: a victim mentality sort of. Yeah. I had a bad
11:06
Speaker 1: job loss about four and a five years ago, and
11:09
Speaker 1: some things were used against me that we're sort of
11:12
Speaker 1: spun in a certain way that maybe look bad, and
11:15
Speaker 1: I never had a chance to defend myself or even
11:17
Speaker 1: explain what had happened. And even though I had the
11:20
Speaker 1: full support of management. It was a job I had
11:23
Speaker 1: pursued for about three years, finally got it, super happy.
11:26
Speaker 1: I thought I'd worked there for about seven eight years
11:28
Speaker 1: and retire and then, uh, you know, six months into it,
11:32
Speaker 1: that was that Well, what happened essentially boiled down to
11:36
Speaker 1: a woman in the office that sort of hesitated to
11:38
Speaker 1: say this, but I thought I was creepy, and like
11:42
Speaker 1: I said, I had full support, but it got up
11:45
Speaker 1: to the CEO and he said, we can't tolerate this stuff.
11:48
Speaker 1: And my opinion was what do you can't tolerate? What right?
11:51
Speaker 1: And I never got to defend myself my boss, his boss,
11:54
Speaker 1: and his boss said wrong. But then that was that.
11:57
Speaker 1: Was it against one woman or multiple with well, I
12:00
Speaker 1: don't really know exactly, but I was able to get
12:02
Speaker 1: some details sort of after the fact, and so it
12:06
Speaker 1: might have been. I know there was one specific person
12:09
Speaker 1: that was pushing this, and I also heard from somebody
12:11
Speaker 1: else that the idea was to replace me with someone
12:15
Speaker 1: else in the office who was much younger than I was. Well,
12:18
Speaker 1: that can't feel good to be called creepy. No, it
12:21
Speaker 1: was horrible, and um, but what are you gonna do? Right? Yeah,
12:24
Speaker 1: so you need to move the funk on because like,
12:26
Speaker 1: that is old, that's history. There's nothing you can do
12:29
Speaker 1: about it. And the only thing you can do is
12:31
Speaker 1: let go. You have to let go of your anger.
12:33
Speaker 1: That is the past, it is behind you, and you
12:36
Speaker 1: just have to focus on having more positive vibes moving
12:39
Speaker 1: forward so that you can secure another job. Do you
12:42
Speaker 1: have a new job? No, So, I've been in the
12:45
Speaker 1: digital space for a long time. It's you know, it's
12:48
Speaker 1: an extremely young industry. This company was in the movie business.
12:52
Speaker 1: I've been in sales. It was a sales role, and
12:55
Speaker 1: you know my age. I tried really hard to find
12:57
Speaker 1: work after this happened, and I think weren't weren't flowing
13:01
Speaker 1: my way. And so I do printed shirts and apparel
13:04
Speaker 1: for organizations, businesses, et cetera. I've been doing that for
13:07
Speaker 1: quite some time. It's a decent little source of income.
13:09
Speaker 1: But I just started. I started ubering four and neft
13:12
Speaker 1: years ago and I've been pretty much doing that ever since. Well,
13:14
Speaker 1: that's good. That's something you're bringing in some income with that, right, Yeah,
13:18
Speaker 1: it's sometimes it requires a lot of hours. I was
13:20
Speaker 1: out till three o'clock on Friday and two a month salary.
13:23
Speaker 1: But you can make pretty good money if you push it. Well, Steve,
13:25
Speaker 1: I think you need to give yourself room to grow.
13:28
Speaker 1: And you're holding onto this thing that happened four years ago.
13:31
Speaker 1: It's not serving you. So it's taking up space. Anything
13:34
Speaker 1: taking up space is not going to allow you to, like,
13:36
Speaker 1: you know, really invest time or energy and to moving
13:39
Speaker 1: forward and whether that be emotionally, mentally or with finding
13:43
Speaker 1: a job. So the longer you hold onto this, it's
13:44
Speaker 1: just gonna hold you back and hold you down. So
13:47
Speaker 1: I think you just gotta sucking throw that out and
13:50
Speaker 1: focus on what you can do moving forward. Yeah, and
13:53
Speaker 1: take pride in your job, like be happy that you
13:55
Speaker 1: have a job. Some people are starving, you know. Yeah,
13:57
Speaker 1: you're working at uber. You have the ability to work
13:59
Speaker 1: harder to make extra money. These are all good things too.
14:02
Speaker 1: You know, you don't have to hold on to somebody
14:04
Speaker 1: what somebody said or may have said, or may have
14:06
Speaker 1: not said. Somebody may have not even said that about you.
14:09
Speaker 1: You know, that could have been an excuse to replace
14:11
Speaker 1: you with somebody younger. It's just it's irrelevant really to
14:14
Speaker 1: your future. Right, And then all makes a lot of sense.
14:17
Speaker 1: And you know, I get it, and it's not something
14:19
Speaker 1: that that I hang on to all the time, but
14:21
Speaker 1: it sort of flares up, you know, like a like
14:23
Speaker 1: a thing, a virus. It's it's inside you, you you know,
14:25
Speaker 1: and things will trigger it. So I hear what you're saying,
14:29
Speaker 1: and I know I need to do it. Yeah, but
14:31
Speaker 1: you need some tough love. You need a nudge in
14:32
Speaker 1: the right direction, Like that's just coming from a loving place.
14:35
Speaker 1: You can't just immediately fast forward and have it not
14:37
Speaker 1: be there. But you can have it come up without
14:39
Speaker 1: it bringing you down, you know, like, you can have
14:42
Speaker 1: it come up so that it diminishes each time it
14:44
Speaker 1: does come up, so that in a year from now,
14:46
Speaker 1: it's not an issue at all. Right, Okay, do you
14:49
Speaker 1: smoke pot here and there? Yeah, well, maybe smoke some more.
14:53
Speaker 1: Enjoy yourself, you know, just enjoy yourself and have a
14:56
Speaker 1: nice time. Okay, Yeah, try and find a girlfriend, you know. Well,
15:03
Speaker 1: then definitely don't try to find a girlfriend. I don't
15:05
Speaker 1: want to be giving out advice like that. That's that's
15:07
Speaker 1: how we get into trouble around here. So around here
15:10
Speaker 1: in our doctor's office. Okay, Well, good luck to you, Steve,
15:13
Speaker 1: And I'm glad you called. Yeah, sorry about the video.
15:16
Speaker 1: I wish I could have. Yeah, that's okay. Maybe his
15:20
Speaker 1: pants were off and he didn't want us to see
15:22
Speaker 1: that he was exposing himself. Well, we know that all
15:25
Speaker 1: men do, these zooms men. It's just such a disappointment
15:29
Speaker 1: with the way that they pulled their penises out. I
15:31
Speaker 1: also like to state, though, about Steve's specific situation, is
15:35
Speaker 1: that men have to err on the side of caution
15:37
Speaker 1: now in their interactions. I understand I'm not telling them
15:39
Speaker 1: to go assault a woman. No I'm not. I don't
15:42
Speaker 1: think you are, but like anyone listening, that is the
15:44
Speaker 1: way men have to operate. But they have to assume
15:47
Speaker 1: that you've already been acute. Yeah, that you've already sexually
15:49
Speaker 1: assaulted someone. Come from that place of apology and reform,
15:54
Speaker 1: because I mean, all men aren't bad, but there's enough
15:57
Speaker 1: bad ones that you've sucked over everybody. So now all
16:00
Speaker 1: men have to pay the price. White men have to
16:02
Speaker 1: pay the price for your advantage taking since the beginning
16:05
Speaker 1: of time. And you can only just say yes, I'm sorry,
16:09
Speaker 1: please tell me more, and I'm willing to listen because
16:12
Speaker 1: we have been man explained to for too long, So
16:16
Speaker 1: you need to listen to what we're telling you. We
16:18
Speaker 1: want you to succeed, we want you to stick around,
16:22
Speaker 1: but you need to listen. The thing is, it's like, okay,
16:25
Speaker 1: so that guy could have been a creep also, and
16:28
Speaker 1: he could have been in the wrong, and you know,
16:31
Speaker 1: maybe we should have delved into that a little bit further.
16:33
Speaker 1: But even then, I want people to like pick up
16:35
Speaker 1: and move on to a different point, right like, because
16:38
Speaker 1: we all make mistakes and we have to learn from
16:40
Speaker 1: those mistakes. And people calling you creepy is like you
16:44
Speaker 1: would have to think about that, right, But yes, yeah,
16:47
Speaker 1: we need additional context for some of these we couldn't
16:50
Speaker 1: offer well rounded advice. He still needed to move on.
16:54
Speaker 1: That was well, we're still growing as a counseling couple,
16:56
Speaker 1: so we were growing. We're having growing pains. That was
16:58
Speaker 1: growing pain. That smell of that beef jerky that you're
17:01
Speaker 1: eating is a definite growing pain. It's so fucking gross.
17:05
Speaker 1: It's a turkey. I hate having to eat on a
17:09
Speaker 1: fucking schedule. I love eating and I can't stop eating.
17:14
Speaker 1: And now we know it gets because do you like truffle?
17:16
Speaker 1: Like the taste of truffle? I love it. This weekend,
17:19
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to make mac and cheese, and
17:21
Speaker 1: there's this truff I don't want anything to do with
17:22
Speaker 1: macaroni and cheese. I know, I know, but I can't
17:26
Speaker 1: right now. I'm at my steep end of things, So
17:29
Speaker 1: no macaroni and cheese for me. This is not I
17:32
Speaker 1: don't I fucking love. One day in Whistler, when I
17:35
Speaker 1: wasn't skiing because my knee was swollen and hurting, I
17:38
Speaker 1: made myself Annie's macaroni and cheese, the organic. Yeah, and
17:42
Speaker 1: it was just like a vat of cheese and I
17:45
Speaker 1: just ate the entire thing and it felt so cozy
17:48
Speaker 1: and warm, and it was one of those days where
17:50
Speaker 1: I was just like, you know, sitting by the fire.
17:53
Speaker 1: I just love fucking macaroni and cheese. What is that
18:01
Speaker 1: your meditation reminder? Our medications letting me know that your
18:07
Speaker 1: period is on the approach? No, it is not. It
18:09
Speaker 1: should have a much louder notification of the blaring horn.
18:12
Speaker 1: It's like, get ready, good, ready, there's a count coming
18:17
Speaker 1: down the street. Do you have another caller? I don't know.
18:21
Speaker 1: I wasn't listening. I'm just kidding. Our next submission is
18:25
Speaker 1: from William. He's in his thirties. He is a teacher
18:28
Speaker 1: from California, and he writes, Dear Chelsea, I recently had
18:31
Speaker 1: two amazing dates with the same woman and we really vibed.
18:34
Speaker 1: We had conversations about another date. We made out, couldn't
18:36
Speaker 1: keep our hands off of each other. She asked if
18:40
Speaker 1: I was looking for a friend with benefits. I said
18:42
Speaker 1: I'd be open to basically anything, and so we decided
18:45
Speaker 1: to just any man. We're open to anything, right, But
18:49
Speaker 1: we decided to keep it loose. We really connected. We
18:52
Speaker 1: both love hockey, we have the same taste in beer,
18:54
Speaker 1: we have the same degree. How many dates? Was this
18:56
Speaker 1: to two dates? But this is where things take a turn?
18:59
Speaker 1: He said, it's not been three days in contact? Okay,
19:02
Speaker 1: is he there? Well? Are you there? Yeah? I got
19:04
Speaker 1: it working finally, thank you? Yeah, okay, cute beer and
19:06
Speaker 1: I like your face, thank you, thank you. Yeah, it's
19:09
Speaker 1: all that's in the picture right now. But yeah, I
19:11
Speaker 1: like me. It's pretty good too. Okay, well, let's not
19:14
Speaker 1: get carried away. So let's so what happened on the
19:17
Speaker 1: first date and what happened on the second day. Break
19:19
Speaker 1: it down for us. Okay, Like on the first day
19:22
Speaker 1: we met on Bumble, you know, and it's not a
19:24
Speaker 1: good Is that a good dating site? Because I need
19:26
Speaker 1: my friend Kelly from Whistler to get on Bumble? Well, like,
19:30
Speaker 1: it's good because women get to make the first move
19:33
Speaker 1: and so so it avoids a lot of awkward situations
19:37
Speaker 1: that women have to deal with. Like I have a
19:38
Speaker 1: lot of female friends. They tell me like the horror
19:41
Speaker 1: stories of you know, Tinder and everything else. But at
19:43
Speaker 1: least there you get ladies get a little bit more
19:46
Speaker 1: of a filtering option for themselves, you know, and it
19:49
Speaker 1: takes the pressure off the guys to make the first move,
19:52
Speaker 1: so it helps out a lot in that kind of way. Okay,
19:54
Speaker 1: bumble is great, you matter or she made the first
19:56
Speaker 1: move then, right, yeah? Yeah yeah yeah, And we got
19:59
Speaker 1: to talking away, you know, like I mean, we were
20:01
Speaker 1: really like into each other and we went out. We're
20:05
Speaker 1: both vaccinated, so we were like feeling pretty comfy. You know.
20:07
Speaker 1: I was like, I was my first time going out
20:09
Speaker 1: to eat, like in a year. Conversation was rolling the
20:12
Speaker 1: entire time. We had a lot of similarities going on.
20:15
Speaker 1: We kissed. It seemed like we were pretty into each other.
20:18
Speaker 1: What do you mean just kissed, like kiss on the street.
20:20
Speaker 1: Where were you in the car? Like I was walking
20:23
Speaker 1: back to her car, and it's kind of kissed on
20:24
Speaker 1: the way back. Oh that's cute, that's nice and romantic.
20:27
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, you know, like that's what I was saying.
20:29
Speaker 1: I thought everything was pretty good there, you know, And
20:31
Speaker 1: then the second date what happened? Well? Wait, so then
20:33
Speaker 1: you how did you get in touch with her for
20:34
Speaker 1: the sex? So you knew leaving the first date you
20:36
Speaker 1: were seeing each other again. Yeah, we were already planning
20:38
Speaker 1: in the second date. Were you thinking though that maybe
20:40
Speaker 1: you would get more than just a kiss on the
20:42
Speaker 1: first date? Like, were you thinking or you didn't even
20:44
Speaker 1: try to push it. I don't know. I try not
20:47
Speaker 1: to hold any expectations when I when I go on dates.
20:49
Speaker 1: I was cool with whatever happened. You know, we're covering codependent,
20:54
Speaker 1: so like, I'm trying my hardest to slow myself down.
20:58
Speaker 1: I was even trying in the moment. I was like, Okay,
21:00
Speaker 1: make sure you don't get attached too quickly or anything
21:02
Speaker 1: like that. You're a recovering codependent from what you were
21:05
Speaker 1: codependent with your last partner. I was married for seven
21:08
Speaker 1: years and that was like totally what destroyed our marriage.
21:12
Speaker 1: We were both just totally codependent. It just devolves into
21:15
Speaker 1: this toxicity. Talk more about that, Like, what what do
21:18
Speaker 1: you mean? Can you give us a specific example, because
21:20
Speaker 1: I think I have a lot of people probably feel
21:21
Speaker 1: that way in their relationships. Yeah. Well, you know, for me,
21:25
Speaker 1: my codependency was about affirmation. I needed constant affirmation that
21:30
Speaker 1: someone loves me. Yeah that's annoying, Yeah, exactly right. Then
21:34
Speaker 1: her codependency issue was mistrust. She just thought I was
21:38
Speaker 1: cheating on her all the time. It sounds like you
21:40
Speaker 1: both had the same problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know
21:43
Speaker 1: we did exactly when we both decided to get help,
21:47
Speaker 1: we just kind of grew apart after that. There was
21:49
Speaker 1: just too much toxicity in that past. Were good. That's
21:52
Speaker 1: good that you moved on. That's good that you're done
21:54
Speaker 1: with that relationship. So you we don't want you to
21:56
Speaker 1: repeat the same thing the second time. We want you
21:58
Speaker 1: to have success. So okay, so the second date. What
22:00
Speaker 1: happened on the second date? I had reservations for a
22:04
Speaker 1: really nice restaurant in town, but it was outdoors and
22:07
Speaker 1: it started raining, so they had to cancel everything, and
22:12
Speaker 1: I had to reorganize like the entire date, like I
22:15
Speaker 1: like within like an hour, So like I took it
22:18
Speaker 1: down to like super low key, took her to my
22:21
Speaker 1: favorite pizza place, and um, after that, we went to
22:25
Speaker 1: the drive in. We watched Wonder Woman. Oh, I liked
22:30
Speaker 1: it a lot, But I like Marvel movies more than
22:32
Speaker 1: d C. But that was a good movie. Do you
22:34
Speaker 1: know what that means? He might as well be speaking Japanese,
22:36
Speaker 1: but I know, I know DC and Marvel Arrivals. I
22:39
Speaker 1: do know that. Yes, Well, I was going to do
22:41
Speaker 1: that the Marvel television show at one point, So I
22:43
Speaker 1: did know. But okay, fine, that's yeah, we won't hold
22:46
Speaker 1: that against you. You're a white male, of course you
22:48
Speaker 1: love that ship, so okay. And then so you go
22:50
Speaker 1: to the drive through. So how did the date end
22:52
Speaker 1: the second night? It ended pretty well. We kissed a
22:55
Speaker 1: few times, we were talking about a third date. And
22:57
Speaker 1: then the next day she was hanging out with some
23:00
Speaker 1: of her friends and she was like shooting me like
23:02
Speaker 1: photos of her brunching and stuff. And I was hanging
23:05
Speaker 1: out with some of my friends and I was shooting
23:06
Speaker 1: her photos of us jamming because me and my friends
23:08
Speaker 1: are all musicians and stuff. Oh by the way, I
23:11
Speaker 1: know I'm light skinned, but I'm actually Chicano. Well it's
23:17
Speaker 1: just that me and her like that. That's one of
23:19
Speaker 1: our very similar things that we have, is that both
23:22
Speaker 1: of our ancestors come from the original settlers of Riverside. Well,
23:27
Speaker 1: we're not related, you know. Like that. That was like
23:30
Speaker 1: a running joke for a couple of weeks there. It
23:32
Speaker 1: was just like, okay, well, let's make sure we're not cousins. Okay,
23:37
Speaker 1: so then you're not related. Check that box. That's great
23:40
Speaker 1: to hear, but yeah, okay, So everything seemed to be
23:42
Speaker 1: going fine the next day following the second day, and
23:45
Speaker 1: then she just kind of goes to you like there
23:46
Speaker 1: was no more communication. And in your submission you mentioned
23:51
Speaker 1: possibly writing her attacks to kind of recap, like, hey,
23:54
Speaker 1: sorry if I did something, Sorry if you think you're
23:56
Speaker 1: feeling a certain way, what what happened there, and what's
23:59
Speaker 1: the status. Well, she told me that she had some
24:01
Speaker 1: stuff going on, but she also confirmed that she was
24:04
Speaker 1: feeling like things were moving too fast. Oh she did
24:07
Speaker 1: say that, Yeah, how did you react to that? When
24:09
Speaker 1: she said that, I mean, like, I'm kind of self
24:12
Speaker 1: aware of you know, that part of me. I was
24:14
Speaker 1: just kind of like, that's cool. I kind of turned
24:17
Speaker 1: you off that that's all right, you know. And she
24:19
Speaker 1: was like, you know, I still want to be friends
24:21
Speaker 1: because you know, we have so much comment and I
24:23
Speaker 1: was all like, yeah, me too. I wasn't texting her
24:25
Speaker 1: a lot or anything like that. I would just hit
24:27
Speaker 1: her up every once in a while. And then one
24:29
Speaker 1: day on our Instagram, I noticed that she blocked me,
24:31
Speaker 1: and like I was like, oh, okay, I guess I
24:35
Speaker 1: did something. So I sent her another last text and
24:38
Speaker 1: I was just like, hey, I'm sorry if I offended
24:41
Speaker 1: you in some way or anything like that, I'm terribly sorry.
24:44
Speaker 1: And I was just kind of like, I don't I
24:46
Speaker 1: don't know what I did. M okay. So, and I
24:49
Speaker 1: have a lot of feelings and thoughts on this scenario,
24:51
Speaker 1: But what in retrospect, like being self aware? Are there
24:56
Speaker 1: certain things that you said or did that gay her
25:00
Speaker 1: the impression that you wanted more than she wanted, or
25:04
Speaker 1: that you wanted things to escalate a little bit more
25:07
Speaker 1: quickly than maybe she had anticipated. Like, are there certain
25:10
Speaker 1: moments that you see like Okay, I could have done
25:13
Speaker 1: this differently, or that you'll take into the next interaction
25:15
Speaker 1: that you will hopefully amend in some way. That's kind
25:19
Speaker 1: of like what I wanted to ask, y'all, what can
25:22
Speaker 1: I do to slow things down? How can I stop
25:25
Speaker 1: this premature excitement? Were you trolling to her on Instagram
25:29
Speaker 1: a lot? Like looking at her stories? If she's not
25:31
Speaker 1: a public person, she could probably look and see who's
25:33
Speaker 1: watching her stories. It sounds like something happened after they
25:36
Speaker 1: went on the date that turned her off, that she
25:38
Speaker 1: felt like you were all over her or something and
25:40
Speaker 1: liking all of her photos or you know, sometimes girls
25:43
Speaker 1: feel smothered like that, but like, yeah, you should totally
25:45
Speaker 1: take that as an indicator to chill a little bit out,
25:48
Speaker 1: because clearly you kind of for her to block you
25:50
Speaker 1: on Instagram. I guess I know people do that a lot, right,
25:53
Speaker 1: I mean, well, I'm a friend that blocks people. Yeah,
25:57
Speaker 1: but I think that there were probably things leading up
25:59
Speaker 1: to that signs maybe we're accounted for and like your
26:03
Speaker 1: que car, Yeah, and you're saying it yourself, so that
26:05
Speaker 1: means it's true. Yeah, Like you obviously have something to offer.
26:08
Speaker 1: You know, your you seem kind, you're handsome, you know
26:13
Speaker 1: that there is a problem that you're trying to resolve.
26:16
Speaker 1: But there are also things that maybe you should be
26:17
Speaker 1: a little bit more thoughtful about in terms of your interactions,
26:21
Speaker 1: Like if you know that this is an issue, implement
26:24
Speaker 1: certain rules for yourself. Like I used to have a
26:25
Speaker 1: two text rule where I would send to an initial one.
26:28
Speaker 1: If I didn't get response, I'd send one more generically,
26:31
Speaker 1: and then if no response, that was it. Like it
26:33
Speaker 1: shouldn't take much more than that. No one should have
26:37
Speaker 1: to get to the point of blocking you. That's what
26:40
Speaker 1: text too many. Yeah, I think you should subtract to text,
26:43
Speaker 1: maybe just bring it down to one and then slowly
26:46
Speaker 1: built back up to two. That sound advice. Yeah, I
26:49
Speaker 1: like that idea a lot. Yeah. I wasn't rolling around
26:52
Speaker 1: Instagram though, by the way, That's kind of like why
26:54
Speaker 1: I was so shocked, because I was like, anyone right, right,
27:00
Speaker 1: But anyone blocking you on Instagram that should be the
27:02
Speaker 1: end of the interaction completely anyway, Like, don't follow up
27:05
Speaker 1: on that. It's like some breaking up with somebody and
27:07
Speaker 1: then having to tell them again. So, yeah, next time
27:10
Speaker 1: the person blocks you on Instagram. Hopefully there won't be
27:12
Speaker 1: next time. Hopefully we can nip this in the bud,
27:14
Speaker 1: but if the first time ever. Yeah, you also have
27:17
Speaker 1: to give relationships or interactions room to grow. And I
27:21
Speaker 1: think sometimes what happens is people get so like you
27:23
Speaker 1: get so excited about it. They're just like they invest
27:25
Speaker 1: all in. I do that with friends, and I've seen
27:28
Speaker 1: the Brandon has no friends because you're friends. For me,
27:31
Speaker 1: it's not the game of like, oh, what sort of
27:33
Speaker 1: friendship dynamic are we gonna have. It's like we're friends
27:35
Speaker 1: or not. And that's kind of that. But in a
27:37
Speaker 1: relationship it's a little bit trickier. Because you have to
27:41
Speaker 1: temper those interactions. You have to give them space. So
27:44
Speaker 1: if you get to the point where you want to
27:46
Speaker 1: text this girl or not this specific girl because that's
27:49
Speaker 1: wrap on her, but the next one text someone else,
27:53
Speaker 1: like when you go to read true phone to check
27:55
Speaker 1: on her or text her and she's not a message
27:58
Speaker 1: to check on you, message of friend. Like, just apply
28:00
Speaker 1: that energy into another relationship. And there's no point in
28:04
Speaker 1: like watering a dead flower. So if you can see
28:07
Speaker 1: that it's not blossoming, invest that energy into yourself for
28:11
Speaker 1: someone else. Don't spend too much music, write music or
28:15
Speaker 1: what do you do? You know, play an instrument, that's cool,
28:17
Speaker 1: you know, put your channel and your stuff into that.
28:20
Speaker 1: Someone's gonna love you soon. Yeah you seem lovable. Yeah,
28:24
Speaker 1: you do seem lovable. Thank you, Thank you. I really
28:27
Speaker 1: appreciate that, especially from from Chelsea. Thank you very much.
28:30
Speaker 1: What about what about Brandan? Yeah, hey, there's no higher
28:33
Speaker 1: there's no higher than a gay guy complimenting. That's very true,
28:38
Speaker 1: that's very true. I just don't know you, but she
28:42
Speaker 1: taste than I do, so it's probably a higher even
28:45
Speaker 1: without it being her. It just has better taste. I
28:49
Speaker 1: have no style so I guess my compliments void. I
28:51
Speaker 1: didn't mean it in the mean way. Sorry, that's okay, fine,
28:54
Speaker 1: we're just giving you ship. No, No, your compliment is
28:57
Speaker 1: totally valid and I appreciate it. Yeah, and also you
29:00
Speaker 1: do have a lot in common with the person. That's nice,
29:03
Speaker 1: but don't take it too far with that. It's nice
29:05
Speaker 1: that you both have the same heritage, and it's nice
29:07
Speaker 1: that you both like the same beer. But like, those
29:10
Speaker 1: aren't like cosmic signs from the universe. It's just coincidences.
29:13
Speaker 1: So just like, don't take all of it so seriously.
29:17
Speaker 1: You know, I like that a lot. Thank you. Okay,
29:19
Speaker 1: there's hope, William. Let us know what's going on. I
29:21
Speaker 1: would like an update on your next few dates on
29:24
Speaker 1: what's going on, so keep us posted and just just
29:26
Speaker 1: remember taking slow, like nothing's that serious. Yeah, take things slow.
29:30
Speaker 1: And if I'm in that area and you still haven't
29:32
Speaker 1: met a girlfriend, maybe I can come over and have
29:33
Speaker 1: sex with you. Yeah, well yeah, or maybe even go
29:38
Speaker 1: on a date. You know. Well, I don't think I
29:39
Speaker 1: need the date part. I mean, especially sounds like you
29:41
Speaker 1: you like to you know, I would be more of
29:43
Speaker 1: a sister transaction for attentions man, I'll save you. The
29:47
Speaker 1: attention is very small, so just stick with the sacks
29:51
Speaker 1: and then it's a it's a win, all right, Okay,
29:53
Speaker 1: I'm taking that win, all right. Bye. But he was cute,
29:58
Speaker 1: you know, Santa Claus cute Chicano kind of way, Like
30:02
Speaker 1: I love that. I love when men have like full
30:04
Speaker 1: faces and beards and are playful. You know, so many
30:07
Speaker 1: women are like really hard up for a man. So
30:10
Speaker 1: many women really want to be with somebody, They really
30:13
Speaker 1: want to be with a responsible person, or you know,
30:15
Speaker 1: somebody's got a job and it's got their ship together.
30:18
Speaker 1: And you know, I don't know how much she's got
30:20
Speaker 1: a ship together because we didn't get into that. But
30:21
Speaker 1: like I like to think that there's a lid for
30:24
Speaker 1: every pot there and that's why I keep telling you,
30:27
Speaker 1: we're going to find your lid. Like you're ready for
30:30
Speaker 1: a relationship, and I was ready for a relationship, and
30:33
Speaker 1: I've already changed my mind, so I think I think
30:36
Speaker 1: I'm ready, and I'll never will be ready for a relationship.
30:39
Speaker 1: It all just seems like too much work. And I
30:42
Speaker 1: don't I really only because I'm very bored at this
30:46
Speaker 1: point in my life. When I'm in l A for
30:47
Speaker 1: some reason, I find myself bored. As soon as you
30:50
Speaker 1: got back, you asked how to log into Tinder. No,
30:54
Speaker 1: I want to Riah, and there were some hot guys
30:56
Speaker 1: on Riya. But I did something wrong with my location,
31:00
Speaker 1: so like I had changed my location in Vancouver when
31:03
Speaker 1: I was in Whistler, and then I never changed it back.
31:06
Speaker 1: So I was missing all these connections. And then there
31:10
Speaker 1: was one cute guy and I was like, are you
31:11
Speaker 1: He had a bunch of pictures of snowboarding and I
31:14
Speaker 1: was like, are you skiing or snowboarding? He said snowboarding
31:16
Speaker 1: and that was the end of that relationship. Grown men
31:19
Speaker 1: on a snowboard. I need a guy who could ski.
31:22
Speaker 1: It's like Peter Pants and more arrested development, Like get
31:25
Speaker 1: on a set of skis like an adult, and it's
31:27
Speaker 1: so much hotter, Like men's skiing is so much hotter
31:30
Speaker 1: than a guy on a snow Snowboarding feels like younger,
31:34
Speaker 1: like you're clinging to something. Do you when you have
31:36
Speaker 1: an interaction with a guy on a dating app and
31:39
Speaker 1: you're suddenly not into it for one reason or another,
31:41
Speaker 1: do you tell them or will you just stop responding?
31:43
Speaker 1: Usually just stopped responding, I mean, I don't owe them
31:45
Speaker 1: anything at that point, but I do like to tell
31:47
Speaker 1: people when they do things that annoy me, like that
31:48
Speaker 1: guy I was, I was seeing some guys sleeping with
31:51
Speaker 1: some guy right before I left. When I went Whistler
31:53
Speaker 1: this year in December, and I got there and he
31:56
Speaker 1: and we was cute. We hung out a bunch of
31:58
Speaker 1: times before I left. Was a nice guy. Yeah, met
32:00
Speaker 1: him and then he sent me in Whistler like he
32:03
Speaker 1: made this big thing that he was sending me gift,
32:04
Speaker 1: that he was sending me gifts. He said it like
32:06
Speaker 1: three times and then asked me if I found it
32:07
Speaker 1: at my door three times, which was also annoying. And
32:10
Speaker 1: then I found the gift and it was a black
32:12
Speaker 1: dildo and I just thought, what why are you sending
32:16
Speaker 1: me a vibrator? Like that's not funny, Like he thought
32:19
Speaker 1: it was funny. He's like, oh, you're gonna love it.
32:22
Speaker 1: It's like no, not first of all, like I'm not twelve,
32:26
Speaker 1: and don't send me asked me about a gift like
32:28
Speaker 1: a serrious like I thought it was something sweet or sincere,
32:31
Speaker 1: like something like you know, useful exactly, like do you
32:34
Speaker 1: ever use those heated gloves. I got you which heated
32:37
Speaker 1: gloves the heat admits. Yeah, I use them all the time.
32:41
Speaker 1: That's what I skew it. I wondered how they were.
32:42
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I said. I thought that's a thoughtful kid. Yeah,
32:45
Speaker 1: that's a thoughtful gifts. I actually got a pair for
32:47
Speaker 1: a for her birthday this year, and then I got
32:49
Speaker 1: a pair for Kelly too, because she didn't have heat
32:50
Speaker 1: to gloves. It's so nice to have your hands warm,
32:52
Speaker 1: so you always default to a heat admit instead of
32:55
Speaker 1: a dildo. Guys, Oh yeah, it's just dildo. It is
32:58
Speaker 1: just such a gross And by the way, I've been
33:00
Speaker 1: sent so many dildos. I mean I got three on
33:02
Speaker 1: my birthday and whistler At got three dildos. So he's
33:05
Speaker 1: let alone in his idiotic thinking. And then my friend
33:09
Speaker 1: was like, I love this vibrator, and I was like,
33:11
Speaker 1: oh my god, there's nothing more annoying than sitting around
33:14
Speaker 1: talking about viber. You got a fucking vibrator from your facialist. Okay,
33:17
Speaker 1: so that's the next vibrator. I was going to say
33:19
Speaker 1: that I got. Yeah, so Vanessa, who installed my neck
33:22
Speaker 1: with my own blood? Everyone or like, it's all like
33:29
Speaker 1: we're just yes, like we're all just trading like here,
33:31
Speaker 1: why don't you I just don't use vibrators. I just don't.
33:35
Speaker 1: Maybe I don't right. I think you've said that before,
33:39
Speaker 1: that you're like people of a certain nature. It's like, oh, well,
33:41
Speaker 1: if you don't have someone. I mean, no, I'm not
33:43
Speaker 1: really big on masturbating. I mean you would think actually
33:46
Speaker 1: that I have the time to do it, but so
33:48
Speaker 1: sometimes but not really. Now, I don't know how you could.
33:51
Speaker 1: You always have people of the house. You were either
33:54
Speaker 1: asleep or you have people at the house, So I
33:56
Speaker 1: don't know when you would have time to get about
33:58
Speaker 1: belt walking. And I'm made jerking off in the middle
34:00
Speaker 1: of that. You. Oh god, Brandon, come on, talk about
34:04
Speaker 1: white privilege. Stop it. I think it's time for me
34:09
Speaker 1: to charge my tesla. We're going to go to a break.
34:13
Speaker 1: Oh sweetheart. Well, I feel like we gave some sound
34:16
Speaker 1: advice today. It sounds like we're going to wrap things up.
34:18
Speaker 1: By the tone of your voice, I think we should.
34:20
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know how we could, how we
34:22
Speaker 1: could top William And he doesn't sound like he wants
34:25
Speaker 1: me to, so no, he doesn't want anything to do
34:27
Speaker 1: with you. But he definitely would have sex with me
34:29
Speaker 1: and be funny if I had sex with every drear.
34:31
Speaker 1: Did he remind you of anyone that we know? It's
34:34
Speaker 1: a hardy body type. Yeah. I we don't even know
34:36
Speaker 1: what was going down from the neck down because we
34:37
Speaker 1: only saw him from the neck up, so I can
34:39
Speaker 1: only imagine that his stomach matches his face. Yeah, and
34:41
Speaker 1: he just seems like a thick, like a hearty man. Yeah.
34:44
Speaker 1: I like that kind of look. I mean, I don't
34:46
Speaker 1: really it's a kind of like a lumberjack look. It's
34:48
Speaker 1: not really my thing, but I'm open to it. You
34:50
Speaker 1: don't like too muscily. I like guys that are like
34:53
Speaker 1: really fit, but not muscily, but like fit so I
34:56
Speaker 1: can handle a little stomach like a little bit of meat.
34:58
Speaker 1: But I don't like when guys are like, you have
35:00
Speaker 1: a big belly, like, I'm not into that. I don't
35:03
Speaker 1: like things flapping. No, you don't like persons right right,
35:07
Speaker 1: but I do like them as friends. Well, now we know.
35:12
Speaker 1: I just want to wish everybody happy St. Patrick's Day,
35:14
Speaker 1: even though it's nowhere near March. You have no idea
35:17
Speaker 1: when any holidays are because you don't celebrate anything I
35:20
Speaker 1: know that same Patty's Day is Marche and that is
35:24
Speaker 1: not close. Let's just plan on our summer vacation, Brandon,
35:27
Speaker 1: why don't you start figuring out where I'm going to go,
35:29
Speaker 1: where you're going to, where I'm going to, and you
35:31
Speaker 1: know where I'm going where? Okay, so we have everyone
35:35
Speaker 1: also keep an eye out for Chelsea stand up dates
35:37
Speaker 1: because they're being added now that people are being vaccinated
35:39
Speaker 1: and things are opening up. So she has dates in
35:42
Speaker 1: July and Nashville, which I know off the top of
35:45
Speaker 1: my head. Those are all sold out. So if you're
35:47
Speaker 1: looking for something to do for your summer vacation, you
35:49
Speaker 1: guys are performing all over the place. I'm performing at
35:53
Speaker 1: Humphreys and San Diego. I'm performing at the Santa Barbara Bowl.
35:57
Speaker 1: I'm performing in Vegas on of Light tenth at the
36:00
Speaker 1: Mirage Santa Barbara Bowl. I think it's August one, and
36:04
Speaker 1: then I'm doing a whole slew of dates all over
36:07
Speaker 1: across the country. So new dates will be added. So
36:10
Speaker 1: I dates right, We just added two new shows. So
36:14
Speaker 1: oh and to my Canadian and brothers insist, well, my
36:18
Speaker 1: that's really where I'm from now. To all my Canadians.
36:21
Speaker 1: I will be touring in Canada. I just have not
36:24
Speaker 1: announced those dates yet. So don't you worry. I will
36:27
Speaker 1: never forget you. Are you kidding me? Are you fucking
36:31
Speaker 1: kidding me? You know what, Canadians don't even say fucking
36:34
Speaker 1: They're too polite. My point of that is, We're going
36:37
Speaker 1: to Nashville for your stand up dates at Zany's, which
36:39
Speaker 1: are all sold out. But then I'm going to stay
36:41
Speaker 1: for a few extra days and I'm going to fucking Dollywood.
36:44
Speaker 1: Oh my god, oh my. I wish you could say,
36:47
Speaker 1: but you're going on your family vacation at the same
36:49
Speaker 1: time you are going to climax all day long at that.
36:55
Speaker 1: So Dollywood's like, is it like an amusements an amusement park.
36:58
Speaker 1: She owns it, and I guess she's there sporadically. I
37:01
Speaker 1: don't know if there's a Dolly calendar for me to
37:02
Speaker 1: check to see, but I'm going to have to get
37:05
Speaker 1: irving on the horn somebody to figure out when she's
37:07
Speaker 1: going to be there. Oh yeah, I'm sure they can
37:09
Speaker 1: help you out with that. Did you watch the Dolly documentary?
37:11
Speaker 1: I started, I haven't finished it yet, but I just
37:13
Speaker 1: love Dolly. Yeah, I know that like Dolly too. Yeah, everybody,
37:17
Speaker 1: you had a Dolly shirt that you wore a lot
37:21
Speaker 1: until it was fraying. You loved that, you were too
37:25
Speaker 1: so many stand up shows. Finally someone said something, there's like,
37:28
Speaker 1: what is going on? Right? It's just more of a
37:30
Speaker 1: cute shirt though. But I do love Dolly. I love
37:33
Speaker 1: Dolly and I love There's another good documentary on hbox
37:36
Speaker 1: that's awesome. I haven't watched it, but I hear you
37:39
Speaker 1: have a different appreciation for her. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
37:41
Speaker 1: the way she can move her body, the way she
37:43
Speaker 1: moves like when she was young, starting at well, I
37:46
Speaker 1: mean she still can move her body, but she was
37:48
Speaker 1: like so much older when she made it. She was
37:50
Speaker 1: like it almost you know, fifty when she really hit
37:52
Speaker 1: it without Ike when she left him, so god, Yeah,
37:57
Speaker 1: she was such and amazing performer. Well that's a great
38:02
Speaker 1: ending note. It's never too late. Doesn't matter how fucking
38:05
Speaker 1: old you are, Guys, get out there and do what
38:06
Speaker 1: you want to do. Yeah, go after menopause like it
38:09
Speaker 1: owns you. I mean, like you own it. You're going
38:12
Speaker 1: to own it. O O bye