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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: Can You Separate Fact From Feeling? · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Hey, Hurdler's Emily here chiming in with another installment of
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: five Minute Friday from Hurdle. Before we get into it,
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: a big announcement, I am taking a one week season
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: break because season three of Hurdle is coming to a
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: feed near you asap wherever you get your podcasts. In
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: all facts, it's actually launching on July thirteenth, So next
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: week I'm taking some time to get some ducks in
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: a row before I.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Come back with a really, really exciting season.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: I mean that I am such a huge fan of
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  Speaker 1: all of the individuals I bring on the show, but
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  Speaker 1: let me tell you the guests that I have lined
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: up for season three. It makes me feel really content,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: which sounds like an odd word I guess to use
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  Speaker 1: in this case, But some of these individuals I have
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  Speaker 1: been quote unquote chasing forever.
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  Speaker 2: When I ask on social media who it is that.
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  Speaker 1: You want to hear from, these are a lot of
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  Speaker 1: the names that come into my dms. And I'm also
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: really proud that it is the most diverse season of
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  Speaker 1: the show yet. I'm really looking forward to bringing you
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  Speaker 1: some super engaging stories. I can tell you right off
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  Speaker 1: the bat that I cried and at least two of
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  Speaker 1: the interviews I have coming down the pipe for you,
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  Speaker 1: So trust me. Stay tuned again to reiterate, I'll be
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  Speaker 1: taking a quick break next week, but I'll be back
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  Speaker 1: on July thirteenth, coming in summer primetime hotter than ever. Anyway,
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  Speaker 1: this week for five Minute Friday, I'm talking about the
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  Speaker 1: difference between fact versus feeling. So I'm going to give
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  Speaker 1: you some background. A few years ago, I took I
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: participated in a forty day challenge of sorts through one
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  Speaker 1: of my favorite yoga studios, Lines Done. They have two
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  Speaker 1: locations in New York City. They've got one in Tribeca
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  Speaker 1: and one in Chelsea. And this forty day Challenge, of
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  Speaker 1: course included a ton of yoga, but it also had
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  Speaker 1: weekly meetings where we went through a book from Baron
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  Speaker 1: Baptiste called The Forty Days to Personal Revolution, and the
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  Speaker 1: sub title on this is a breakthrough program to radically
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  Speaker 1: change your body and awaken the sacred within your soul.
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  Speaker 2: Sounds like a lot. I know.
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  Speaker 1: Basically in these weekly meetings we would go through a
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  Speaker 1: workbook and really kind of open up and do just that,
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  Speaker 1: like crack into the nitty gritty. I remember as part
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  Speaker 1: of the conversations that we were having in these weekly workshops,
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  Speaker 1: people would share personal stories of things that they were
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  Speaker 1: going through. And I don't recall the exact story that
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  Speaker 1: was shared, but I do remember a woman saying I
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  Speaker 1: can't do this, and that is where Bethany Lyons, the
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  Speaker 1: founder of the yoga studio, stopped her and she said,
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  Speaker 1: I want to talk you through something, and I'll never
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  Speaker 1: forget this. She said, there's a difference between what you
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  Speaker 1: feel to be true and what is true. And she
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  Speaker 1: gave us an example. She said, I have blonde hair,
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  Speaker 1: I am afraid of heights. Now there's a difference between
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  Speaker 1: those two statements.
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  Speaker 2: Right.
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  Speaker 1: In fact, she does have blonde hair. I don't think
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  Speaker 1: that comes from a box of dyes. She was born
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  Speaker 1: naturally a blonde. I am afraid of heights, though she
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  Speaker 1: feels as though she's afraid of heights. That is something
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  Speaker 1: that you could probably do something about, right, You could
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  Speaker 1: try to face your fear. But think about just how
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  Speaker 1: that changes things. Right when you say I feel as
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  Speaker 1: though I'm afraid of heights versus I am afraid of heights,
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  Speaker 1: it makes it no longer a definitive statement. So I'll
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  Speaker 1: bring a couple of examples from this week into the mix.
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  Speaker 1: For years now, I have been scared to cross the
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  Speaker 1: George Washington Bridge on foot or on bike. I have
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  Speaker 1: been told for so long now that getting there is scary.
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  Speaker 1: You're super close to oncoming traffic, the turns leading up
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  Speaker 1: to the bridge are super narrow, There's one particular hairpin
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  Speaker 1: turn that is super uncomfortable if you're on a bike.
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  Speaker 1: The climbing the hills, it's just a lot. And so
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  Speaker 1: for years I've just said the sentence, I can't do
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  Speaker 1: the GW. Last week, a friend of mine got back
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  Speaker 1: into town and she asked me, now that I have
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  Speaker 1: been biking, if I wanted to join her on a
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  Speaker 1: ride across the GW into New Jersey and go up
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  Speaker 1: a popular path here called River Road. And I wanted
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  Speaker 1: to say the exact same thing that I've been saving
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  Speaker 1: for years, Oh, I don't do the GW.
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  Speaker 2: But then, like I took a.
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  Speaker 1: Step back, and I remembered again Bethany saying I feel
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  Speaker 1: as though, and the idea of separating fact from feeling,
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  Speaker 1: And I thought to myself, what am I waiting for?
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  Speaker 1: You know, almost nine years ago when I moved to
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  Speaker 1: New York, and that's just the craziest sentence for me
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  Speaker 1: to say. But I came here with a to do
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  Speaker 1: list of more than one hundred things, and this to
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  Speaker 1: do list like it had a ton of different things
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  Speaker 1: on it, literally from visiting like different museums, to going
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  Speaker 1: to beauty and Essex to staying up until dawn and
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  Speaker 1: something else that was on there was run, walk or
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  Speaker 1: bike across every major bridge that touches Manhattan.
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  Speaker 2: This would include the GW.
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  Speaker 1: Now I do need to note that I once told
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  Speaker 1: someone this on a date, and on the second date
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  Speaker 1: he had me meet him in a bar in the
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  Speaker 1: Lower east Side. And then our next stop on the
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  Speaker 1: date was the two of us, little beknownst to me,
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  Speaker 1: walking across the Williamsburg Bridge, and it was probably one
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  Speaker 1: of the sweetest things that anyone has ever done for me.
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  Speaker 2: I digress.
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  Speaker 1: Basically, on this do list, the GW was the last
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  Speaker 1: bridge in me checking off this walk, run bike across
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  Speaker 1: every major bridge that touches Manhattan thing, and I was
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  Speaker 1: the only thing that was standing in my own way.
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  Speaker 2: So finally, when.
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  Speaker 1: I agreed to go with my friend on this bike
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  Speaker 1: ride on Monday, like I was scared, don't get me wrong,
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  Speaker 1: but it was really empowering to be like, this is
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  Speaker 1: how I feel.
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  Speaker 2: I understand that it is just a feeling.
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  Speaker 1: I am capable of moving past this, of overcoming my fears.
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  Speaker 1: And once I recognized that, like I was capable and
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  Speaker 1: that that fear was not fact, it was just a feeling,
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  Speaker 1: then I would able to do more to take action.
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  Speaker 1: And so like God crossing that bridge and like finally,
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  Speaker 1: like being in New Jersey, which sounds super silly because
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  Speaker 1: like who says I'm so excited to go to New Jersey?
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  Speaker 1: But I got to New Jersey and I was stoked,
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  Speaker 1: Like I was. I had the biggest goofiest grin across
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  Speaker 1: my entire face. I was so satisfied. I felt so
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  Speaker 1: empowered that I did it right, Like I finally did
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  Speaker 1: this thing that I've been wanting to do for so long,
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  Speaker 1: And that's because I was able to distinguish from what
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  Speaker 1: is fact and what is feeling. I know it can
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  Speaker 1: be like really hard, right, we get crippled with these ideas,
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  Speaker 1: like I think about someone saying I am stuck in
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  Speaker 1: this awful relationship or I'm not productive those two things,
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  Speaker 1: Like you feel as though you're stuck in this relationship,
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  Speaker 1: you feel as though you're not productive, but don't let
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  Speaker 1: your feelings define who you are are. You can still
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  Speaker 1: be a productive person and have non productive days. It
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  Speaker 1: happens to everyone. Heck, we're in a pandemic. We're working
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  Speaker 1: from home constantly, like it happens to the best of us,
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  Speaker 1: to the most productive humans. But when you can separate
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  Speaker 1: again this fact from feeling, you can have some grace
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  Speaker 1: with yourself and you can make positive progress when you
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  Speaker 1: recognize that you have control, it's a really beautiful thing.
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  Speaker 1: And once you understand that you have the power to
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  Speaker 1: make an impact on your own feelings, you take ownership
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  Speaker 1: over that. It's pretty great. So my prompt for you
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  Speaker 1: this week think about this. What is one example of
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  Speaker 1: feel versus fact in your life? Where can you take control?
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Highlights of the week, and as always, links to all
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: this goodness can be found in the show notes in
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: the link with the description to this episode. First things First,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: read a Movement not a Moment from GQ.
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  Speaker 2: Wow.
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  Speaker 1: I mean I clicked on this earlier today and my
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: mind was blown just looking through the powerful imagery in
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: this article. The photos are taken by a Harlem based photographer.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Her name is Flo Nagala. I hope I'm saying that
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: right there. The photos are incredible. She's documenting the energy
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: of New York City during the Black Lives Matter protests,
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: and it is something you definitely have to give it
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: a look. Next up for listen Monovision, a new album
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: by ray La Montayanne. I used to listen to ray
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: La Montayne in the Homer Babbage Library at Yukon. This
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: new album has been my background music for the last
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: couple of days as I'm working, and I really dig it.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: I suggest starting with the.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Songs roll Me, Mama, Roll Me or I Was Born
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: to Love You, which may or may not eventually just
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: have to be my wedding song. Also, take a listen
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: to Brene Brown's podcast Unlocking Us. Her episode with Judd
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: Apatow on Vulnerability and Laughter was a really, really, really
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: great conversation. I know that most of you know who
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Judd Appatao is. He's responsible for some of the best
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: comedy films and hit TV shows from the past couple
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: of decades, including Knocked Up and train Wreck and Anchorman
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: and The Big Sick, which I feel like I.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: Want to watch later tonight.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Anyway, in this episode of the podcast, they talk about
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: what makes things funny and why they're funny, and they
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: also have a really really interesting talk about the thin
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: line between humor and grief. And last, but not least,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: you have got to check out my friend Aarin has
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: a newsletter called the Daily Writing Dose, and so every
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: day she delivers a thoughtful prompt to your email inbox.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: And I just love the idea of This is something
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: that I wanted to do for all of you, but
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I just came to realize that it's not within my bandwidth.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: So Alas, I have found the perfect person to give
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: you regular writing prompts so you can tune in to
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  Speaker 1: your soul, you can uncover some feelings and just get
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: some writing done. Thank you so much for listening to
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Five Minute Friday. I hope that you guys are liking
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: this series. As always, if you like what you're listening to,
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: head on into the iTunes store, rate and review Hurdle.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: It means the world to me. That is the biggest understatement.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Also, of course, as you know, Five Minute Friday releases
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: simultaneously with the weekly Hurdle newsletter. I would love for
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: you to subscribe to that. Click on over to the
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: show notes. You can get the link to do that
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: there at Emily Body at Hurdle Podcast on social Another
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Hurdle concuerd. Catch you guys next time.