Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / This is the Great Adventure | Alli Worthington Enneagram Type 7

Transcript

This is the Great Adventure | Alli Worthington Enneagram Type 7 · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:02
SPEAKER_00: Hi friends, welcome back to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
0:05
SPEAKER_00: It means so much to have you choose to take this conversation along with you today.
0:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm Amy Wicks, your host, and here at Simply Wholehearted, we provide perspective, purpose, and plans to help you love God, love others, and live your best life.
0:19
SPEAKER_00: We are traveling through our summer in the Enneagram, and I still have that dang cold hanging on.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: But we're gonna stop to visit and learn a little bit more about the Type 7s, and while they bring sunshine and lollipops, they are also hard workers and world changers.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: By now, you know how much I value the insights of the Enneagram, and I believe that this resource will guide you to create your best plan for a wholehearted life.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: Before we dive into this conversation with our well-known friend and founder of the Blissem Conference, Allie Worthington, here are some fun and helpful facts about a Type 7.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: They are spontaneous, enthusiastic, and imaginative.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: They are motivated by the desire to always have something to look forward to.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: And they love to introduce their friends and loved ones to new activities and adventures.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: The Type 7s like the 5 and 6 are in the head triad.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: But they are like the type 3 in that they are in the assertive stance and they are also future-oriented.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: Now here are some great tips to help you get along with the 7.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: Please don't try to change their energetic style.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: Respect their desire to not be surrounded by clinging people, and understand that when they are sharing their grand visions and stories, they just want you to listen.
1:37
SPEAKER_00: You've already gotten to know Allie Borthington from a podcast earlier this year and also last year, but today she's giving us a deeper glimpse into her mind and the mind of a Type 7.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: I think you'll really be surprised by her perspective.
1:51
SPEAKER_00: By the way, I want to give a shout out to Paula Hayes for texting me the other day.
1:55
SPEAKER_00: She mentioned how helpful last week's conversation about the Enneagram 6 was.
1:59
SPEAKER_00: It was not only insightful to help understand the 6 in general, but also the countertype qualities of the 6.
2:06
SPEAKER_00: And Paula, I can't wait to see where you decide you land on your Enneagram type.
2:10
SPEAKER_00: And I'm so grateful to have friends and listeners like you who take the time to share their appreciation.
2:16
unknown: Thanks.
2:24
SPEAKER_01: Right.
2:25
SPEAKER_01: Right.
2:25
SPEAKER_01: So it it's for me, like if you had at told me 10 years ago I'd be super organized in a go-getter.
2:32
SPEAKER_01: Like it li my husband still gets a chuckle every time I travel because he's like, You you pay attention to details and you travel well on your own.
2:41
SPEAKER_01: Because like I think I'm most seven in my personal life.
2:46
SPEAKER_01: And and I don't, I don't know.
2:49
SPEAKER_01: I I'm a super healthy seven in my work life.
2:51
SPEAKER_01: So there you go.
2:52
SPEAKER_01: I joke that this this season of life between the two podcasts and the conference, the coaching, everything else, I say that I'm living my best Enneagram Seven life.
3:00
SPEAKER_01: We'll talk about it on the show.
3:01
SPEAKER_01: Seriously.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: Seriously, no, you are like I would guess that you probably have more of a six-wing than an eight wing a six wing.
3:09
SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: And I know a lot of that came even maybe through your writing about anxiety and some of that, though anxiety could reach to any of the types.
3:18
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's funny.
3:18
SPEAKER_01: I had Beth McCord, your Enneagram coach, on the show because I thought it was an eight, an uh an eight-wing.
3:24
SPEAKER_01: And so she starts asking me questions.
3:25
SPEAKER_01: She said, Have you ever dealt with fear?
3:27
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I wrote a whole book on it.
3:28
SPEAKER_01: She's like, Yeah, you're you're a six.
3:31
SPEAKER_00: Right.
3:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
3:33
SPEAKER_00: And there's something a little bit more calming and soothing.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: I have a daughter who's a seven.
3:38
SPEAKER_00: I mean, she's a self-typed.
3:40
SPEAKER_00: I didn't type her.
3:41
SPEAKER_00: She's old enough to have the conversation and read the books and have an understanding.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: And we are always talking about the seven, you know, is it a six-wing or an eight-wing?
3:50
SPEAKER_00: And um, and a lot of that is a nurture element to it.
3:54
SPEAKER_00: The I I feel like the type we lead with is uh a nature thing, whereas the wings are nurture, but you just also seem to bring the st a steadiness that a six-wing has versus I mean you have the energy of the seven and a go-getter of you know the eight piece, but I don't know.
4:12
SPEAKER_00: You just seem to but you and you're pulling off the whole growth to one thing.
4:17
SPEAKER_01: Maybe I I'm real my story is a testament to the fact that a very disorganized person can become organized if you really work at it.
4:25
SPEAKER_00: I know how do you feel like that's something you just learned?
4:28
SPEAKER_00: Did you did you have a parent who taught you how to do this?
4:31
SPEAKER_00: Do you have just a great team of people?
4:33
SPEAKER_00: Do you delegate well?
4:35
SPEAKER_00: What's your secret?
4:36
SPEAKER_01: I did not, I mean, it just 12 years of trying to run my own business and finally going, okay, reading all the books, okay, and knowing, okay, I really have to dig in.
4:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, through the five or going to five.
4:49
SPEAKER_01: Um, and go, okay, these are best practices, these are things that I need to do.
4:53
SPEAKER_01: And then knowing I don't have a choice but to be successful in this.
4:57
SPEAKER_01: So if I'm gonna be successful, I better do what I need to do.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: Well, this is why people want to learn from you because you obviously don't just do it naturally, which that's not a bad thing, but you were willing to learn.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: No, I'm very proud of it because when people go, oh well, I'm just not good at that.
5:14
SPEAKER_01: My answer is, well, you can learn.
5:16
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
5:16
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
5:18
SPEAKER_00: I think that's why I've learned more than anything in this process.
5:21
SPEAKER_00: Yes, there's gonna be some things that you're naturally good at that are totally in your gifting and you're in your element, and you're gonna have so much fun, and then other stuff, you just you have to figure it out, and you have to be okay that you're gonna begin as a beginner.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: Well, we wanted I really wanted to talk about a couple of things.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: One, I felt like you're such a healthy representation of Anneagram 7, kind of all the reasons that we just talked about, and plus I wanted to talk about Blistem because I'm super excited that I get to come as a community leader.
5:52
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's gonna be so much fun! I'm thrilled.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: It was an easy choice to pick you.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: Uh, thank you very, very much.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: I've I am thrilled and I'm telling everybody about it.
6:03
SPEAKER_00: I think that so many uh dreamers, actual business leaders, whether you're wanting to do a blog, a podcast, it's kind it's kind of reaches a wide variety of interests.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: Can you tell a little bit more?
6:17
SPEAKER_00: Give us kind of your spiel and your vision because Blistem was something that was on your heart and a passion of yours a long time ago.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: And this is kind of a rebirth.
6:27
SPEAKER_01: Well, Blistem is a community and a conference for women to come together and do two things.
6:32
SPEAKER_01: One, we want to learn everything that we can learn about building our business, launching our career, scaling our business, whether you are an author, a speaker, an entrepreneur, a photographer, a videographer, an influencer, all of us we have content, everybody, all the things.
6:47
SPEAKER_01: Whether you're just starting out or you've been in business 10 years.
6:50
SPEAKER_01: But we what makes Blistom different is we really are a community of women who are awesome to each other.
6:57
SPEAKER_01: That's kind of the heart behind Blistom.
7:00
SPEAKER_01: And Blistum ran from 2008 to 2013.
7:03
SPEAKER_01: We're coming back this year, and what I heard from people every year was I never really believed that I could come here and automatically be part of a community and meet people and connect.
7:15
SPEAKER_01: But we just have a culture where women come together and go, we're gonna work hard, we're gonna learn everything we can learn, and we're gonna have a great time together.
7:22
SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
7:23
SPEAKER_01: I'm just honored and thrilled to be able to host it and then it's coming back this year.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's so fun.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: And it's such a reflection of your personality.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: Again, kind of covering all the things and the fun element and all of that.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: So, and I wrote to you kind of some of my ideas about how blistem could be for all the types.
7:42
SPEAKER_00: So, give us maybe just a little summary and hit on some of those of why any type from representing the Enneagram would love to go to Blistom.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: I love this question because it puts together two of my favorite things the Enneagram and Blistom.
7:55
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
7:56
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
7:56
SPEAKER_01: So if you're an Enneagram one, you want to know what's going on, you you want all the details, you want the facts because you want to develop a strategy, you want to make sure that you have the perfect strategy for the future and you want to know what's going on.
8:11
SPEAKER_01: Right.
8:12
SPEAKER_01: We do that for once because a lot of times you'll go to events and it's gonna be super inspiring and you're gonna leave pumped up, but you don't actually get any of the details of what to do.
8:21
SPEAKER_01: So we got you covered for a one.
8:22
SPEAKER_01: If you're a two and your heart is really to help people, maybe you want to write a book, maybe you want to start a company, a nonprofit, a ministry, and want to help people, we're again gonna give you the tools and the support and the community to let you help others.
8:34
SPEAKER_01: That's so great.
8:35
SPEAKER_01: If you're a three and you want to knock it out of the park, you you got to be able to really achieve and to be able to be successful using online tools, what's missing from that is normally face-to-face with people.
8:50
SPEAKER_01: Right.
8:51
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
8:51
SPEAKER_01: So for those of us who are real go-getters, we can stay on our computers all day.
8:56
SPEAKER_01: But what really bumps up our success from here to the next level is our community.
9:02
SPEAKER_01: It's the people that we meet.
9:03
SPEAKER_01: I mean, so many people like like my the first time I was on the Today Show was somebody who was at Blistem.
9:09
SPEAKER_01: No way.
9:10
SPEAKER_01: It just leads to like it wasn't anything I did in terms of like hiring a PR company or trying to hustle or any of that stuff.
9:18
SPEAKER_01: Somebody that I connected with Blistem years ago, we became friends on Facebook.
9:22
SPEAKER_01: I wrote a post, and all of a sudden I get a call to go on the today show.
9:26
SPEAKER_01: It's it's literally that simple, but it's through connections.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: It is I think that's so important.
9:32
SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm always saying for threes in particular, and I think this applies to a few others, but it's people over performance.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: And and what can we do for me specifically, even why I'm I do the podcast the way I do it, how can I promote what others are doing?
9:47
SPEAKER_00: How can I help and support and push it out there and just celebrate the really great things that are available that could, you know, help all my friends?
9:57
SPEAKER_00: It's so good.
9:58
SPEAKER_01: And so much of our success isn't it doesn't come down to the way we hustle or you know, the fact that we're working like all these hours every day.
10:07
SPEAKER_01: A lot of the times it comes down to our relationships and people we've invested in, and and that person is neighbors with the the best literary agent in the world.
10:15
SPEAKER_01: And all of a sudden you have a connection there, like it's stuff you can't even imagine can happen, but it all happens through community.
10:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:22
SPEAKER_01: Then for Enneagram 4s, Enneagram 4s that I always think of the artist's soul, you want to be unique, you want to be special, you don't want to blend in.
10:31
SPEAKER_01: And Blissem is perfect for that because as I mentioned before, we have content for all of these different niches, but also at different levels.
10:39
SPEAKER_01: So whether you're just beginning or you've been in business or doing your thing forever, we have content for you.
10:46
SPEAKER_01: And that's important for fours because sometimes some events they sound great and they probably are great.
10:53
SPEAKER_01: But if you're at an event with thousands of other people and there's just one person on a stage and you can't customize your content, that's not going to work for anybody, especially not a four.
11:02
SPEAKER_01: That's right, absolutely.
11:03
SPEAKER_01: Because you got to help.
11:04
SPEAKER_01: Four needs to get their information, make it unique for them, and it really needs to serve them well.
11:08
SPEAKER_01: Totally.
11:09
SPEAKER_01: Well said.
11:10
SPEAKER_01: Love it.
11:10
SPEAKER_01: And then for an Enneagram five, which I love five, because when I'm in good health, I go to my I go to five.
11:16
SPEAKER_01: I'm a researcher on my strength finders.
11:19
SPEAKER_01: Input is my number one.
11:21
SPEAKER_01: I love researching.
11:22
SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
11:22
SPEAKER_01: Um, bliss them is really a fives playground, except that you're around a lot of people.
11:28
SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say, like, wait a minute.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: So how did they how can they like break away and recharge so they can absorb everything?
11:35
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if we're doing it this year, but in years past, because this year, of course, our first year back.
11:40
SPEAKER_01: So we're we're we're still four months out, so we're getting all the details worked out.
11:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
11:44
SPEAKER_01: But in years past, we've had a highly sensitive person room.
11:46
unknown: Awesome.
11:47
SPEAKER_01: Which I feel like because you just I am and even though on a seven, I'm an introvert.
11:52
SPEAKER_01: And so sometimes you just need to get away.
11:55
SPEAKER_01: Yes, absolutely.
11:56
SPEAKER_01: You want to go get all the information, you want the input, you want the research, but then you need to get away.
12:00
SPEAKER_01: So I think as a five, you want to go to great sessions, get that information, go back to your room for a little while, chill out.
12:07
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, you know, or take one person, go get some coffee, then come back for more.
12:13
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
12:13
SPEAKER_01: Um, but we respect that.
12:15
SPEAKER_01: And one thing we don't do is we don't stuff in session after session after session.
12:20
SPEAKER_01: So you get good breaks, you get a good two-hour lunch.
12:23
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
12:23
SPEAKER_01: So you can go out and you can kind of briefly, yeah.
12:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, even because if not by like 3 p.m.
12:29
SPEAKER_01: every day, we'd be like, I'm done.
12:31
SPEAKER_01: Totally brain fry.
12:32
SPEAKER_01: No, it's true.
12:34
SPEAKER_00: We'll be hiding in the bathroom stall trying to figure out how we can like get through all the information we just took in.
12:41
SPEAKER_00: That's a good thing.
12:41
SPEAKER_01: I was I was actually at an event in February, and I think it was about 2 p.m.
12:46
SPEAKER_01: that day, and there wasn't a break from human interaction.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: Oh, and I was like, I just I can't do it anymore.
12:51
SPEAKER_01: I I just I I need to go sit and be alone in a room.
12:54
SPEAKER_01: I'm done.
12:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm done.
12:55
SPEAKER_01: I'm with you.
12:56
SPEAKER_01: And then for Enneagram sixes, what's great about Blissom is it takes the fear of the unknown away.
13:02
SPEAKER_01: You don't have one, you don't know right because we're there going, hey, this is what you need to know.
13:08
SPEAKER_01: This is what's important.
13:09
SPEAKER_01: This over here, don't worry about that.
13:11
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter.
13:12
SPEAKER_01: And so it takes the fear uh uh away, you know, that fear of am I doing the right thing?
13:18
SPEAKER_01: What what do I what do I not know?
13:20
SPEAKER_01: Because as a six, you want to scan everything and go, okay, what's the worst case scenario?
13:26
SPEAKER_01: What can go wrong?
13:27
SPEAKER_01: How do I make sure that I have a backup plan?
13:30
SPEAKER_01: And so really blistem is perfect for that because we can kind of ease those fears and those anxieties.
13:36
SPEAKER_01: That's speaking from my own six wing right now.
13:38
SPEAKER_00: Totally.
13:38
SPEAKER_00: Well, and I think there's in community, there's hand holding that happens in a positive way that can, you know, you have someone just ahead of you that you can grab on to and they can help lead you through what feels unknown and scary, and then it's not so bad anymore.
13:51
SPEAKER_01: Totally, totally.
13:53
SPEAKER_01: And then as a seven, uh, we have a high priority on fun.
13:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
13:57
SPEAKER_01: We we want to learn, we want to have great fun.
14:00
SPEAKER_01: My business partner with Blistum, she was in the music industry for 25 years.
14:04
SPEAKER_01: Oh, no kidding.
14:05
SPEAKER_01: Like, she worked with the Jonas brother, she worked with Madonna.
14:08
SPEAKER_01: Like fun.
14:09
SPEAKER_01: She's literally the coolest person I've ever met in my life.
14:13
SPEAKER_01: And so, like, she always brings in artists, and we always have great, like, we had Harry Conick Jr.
14:18
SPEAKER_01: one year, we had Rascal Platz.
14:20
SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
14:22
SPEAKER_01: Amazing people.
14:22
SPEAKER_01: We never know who it's gonna be.
14:24
SPEAKER_01: And we always find out like a month before the event.
14:26
SPEAKER_01: I can't wait.
14:27
SPEAKER_01: And she just always put this high value on well, of course, we're gonna have the greatest teaching possible from the most awesome people, but also we're gonna have fun together.
14:38
SPEAKER_01: And one thing that we like to do at the last night of Blissom is we just have a PJ party and we have karaoke and we uh like wear bunny slippers and we chill out.
14:48
SPEAKER_01: We just we have a wonderful time.
14:49
SPEAKER_01: We don't want to take ourselves too seriously.
14:51
SPEAKER_00: This is important, and now I know to bring good PJs.
14:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, not those uh for me, not those ratty yoga pants that I normally hope to buy something.
15:03
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
15:04
SPEAKER_01: Something cute from Tarche.
15:08
SPEAKER_01: And then for AIDS, Listen will let you really kind of take charge of your growth and take charge of your future so you can make a real impact in the world with your writing or your speaking or your business.
15:22
SPEAKER_01: So you don't have to worry about feeling like you're not in control of what's gonna happen in the future.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: That's really, really important.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: My oldest son is an eight, and I'm continually learning from him like all the things that really matter to AIDS.
15:37
SPEAKER_01: And I'll I'll occasionally send him like an Enneagram post on Instagram about Aights, and he's like accurate.
15:45
SPEAKER_01: And I feel like now with him as 20, at 20, through the Enneagram, I'm learning more about him than I ever would have any other way.
15:52
SPEAKER_01: It's amazing.
15:53
SPEAKER_01: Because I'm learning about him as his own adult.
15:55
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, yes, so fascinating.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: I never I never would have imagined.
15:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that is really cool.
16:01
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
16:01
SPEAKER_00: And I that is one thing that I found really helpful, not only in understanding how I as a parent might be affected by the Enneagram or my type, how it's affected being a parent, but then being able to just watch my kids as they're growing up.
16:16
SPEAKER_00: And you know, some of them are still figuring out for sure what type, but it even if I have it narrowed down to two with you know, one of them in particular, when I can look through that lens on either way as I'm disciplining them or as I'm helping with conflict between their siblings, it helps so much that I look at it through their lens instead of trying to put it in mine or even their siblings because it's so unique to it.
16:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, really helpful.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: So good.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: Love it.
16:42
SPEAKER_01: And then last but not least, we all love our knives for Enneagram Nines.
16:46
SPEAKER_01: Blistom is so great because it is it's that community.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:49
SPEAKER_01: So you come together with other people.
16:52
SPEAKER_01: So you're not only building your dream or building your business, but also you're in it with other people together.
16:58
SPEAKER_01: And you are you're all working not only to build what you're building, but to make the world a better place.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
17:04
SPEAKER_00: And I think too that blistem can help you find your voice.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: That I think nines can get lost and kind of taking in everybody else's and understanding everybody's perspective and wanting to just bring unity to a lot of situations.
17:17
SPEAKER_00: So it's easy to get lost and and know exactly what it is that you have to contribute.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's really important to go to something like Blistem that can, yeah, you can take it all in and learn from other people, but you can find what's unique to you and help not, you know, not just celebrate, but help you actually find it and be confident in that and that you have something to offer that's really, really important, right?
17:40
SPEAKER_00: Totally.
17:41
SPEAKER_00: So good, so good.
17:43
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
17:43
SPEAKER_00: This is good.
17:44
SPEAKER_00: It sounds like you really know the Enneagram pretty well.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: So when did you discover the Enneagram?
17:50
SPEAKER_00: What was your first introduction like?
17:51
SPEAKER_01: Can you I was late to the game with the Enneagram?
17:54
SPEAKER_01: So it wasn't.
17:55
SPEAKER_00: Oh no, you're not late to the game.
17:57
SPEAKER_00: There are people who still haven't heard what the Enneagram is.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: So there I know it's funny.
18:01
SPEAKER_01: Here in Nashville, it's like you can't even come in the city limits without knowing.
18:05
SPEAKER_01: It was I was traveling to go speak somewhere, Mother's Day weekend 2017.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
18:11
SPEAKER_01: And I had taken the test a few months earlier, and and I was a seven, and I got uh took the ready test, the$12 test.
18:18
SPEAKER_01: Very, yeah, and got all the PDF and went, I don't know, because everyone said, Oh, you're gonna take the Enneagram and you're gonna be a three.
18:25
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
18:25
SPEAKER_01: Because I get so much done.
18:26
SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh, okay.
18:27
SPEAKER_01: And I read a little about a three, and I said, Well, that makes sense, I guess.
18:32
SPEAKER_01: But then it pulled up that I was a seven on the ready, and I I read it, but I kind of skimmed it and I didn't dive into it.
18:38
SPEAKER_01: I I needed someone to make sense of it for me.
18:41
SPEAKER_00: So I bought the road back to the recursory glance.
18:47
SPEAKER_01: Totally, totally.
18:48
SPEAKER_01: So bought the road back to you, took it with me on this trip, read it on the plane, and read the chapter about sevens and burst into tears on the plane.
18:56
SPEAKER_01: And realized I'll cry when I think about it.
19:00
SPEAKER_01: Everything that I was doing in my life professionally in that season was wrong and sucking all the joy out of me.
19:08
SPEAKER_01: I was running a ministry, I was operating as a COO, and exactly everything that's not good for sevens, that was that was what I was doing.
19:17
SPEAKER_01: And I realized, oh, this person, the seven in me is in there.
19:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm just not really in a season where I can express my seven-ness, and but it gave me hope that I was gonna get that back in the future.
19:31
SPEAKER_01: Wow, that's profound.
19:33
SPEAKER_01: It was really powerful, just crying on an airplane right there into that big yellow book.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: What did it look like to then kind of recapture who you really were created to be and operate at your optimum optimum self, seven self?
19:47
SPEAKER_01: It took about an eight-month process of going, okay, this this is what's this is where I'm going.
19:55
SPEAKER_01: This is what this is what it looks like for me to operate in health, and it's time for things to change.
20:00
SPEAKER_01: I didn't know then that we were gonna be bl bringing blissum back.
20:03
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
20:04
SPEAKER_01: That happened, just the the the plan to bring it back happened about a year later after that.
20:10
SPEAKER_01: But I knew I knew a big shift was coming.
20:14
SPEAKER_01: So so the ship had to be completely turned 180 degrees for blissem to ever have been able to come back.
20:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:22
SPEAKER_01: But I I do credit that moment on the plane as a moment of revelation where I went, oh, this is actually who I am, and it's time I get back into that.
20:32
SPEAKER_01: And I joke now, wow, with everything that I'm doing professionally, that I'm living my best Enneagram 7 life.
20:40
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's so awesome.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: You certainly seem to be.
20:43
SPEAKER_00: But you had to say no to some things probably along the way.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: What does that look like for an Enneagram type 7 to say no, especially when it comes to maybe the fear of missing out?
20:55
SPEAKER_01: Very difficult.
20:57
SPEAKER_01: So when when we put when we didn't know Blistem was going on hiatus in 2013, to us, we were just going, okay, this was great.
21:04
SPEAKER_01: We've had a great run of it, other things are gonna happen now.
21:08
SPEAKER_01: That was heartbreaking.
21:09
SPEAKER_01: It took me a year to to to make that decision to finally do it.
21:13
SPEAKER_01: And then when I I left the role of being COO that I was previously in, that took me a year too.
21:19
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
21:20
SPEAKER_01: Because it was this is gonna be painful, this is gonna let everybody down.
21:26
SPEAKER_01: This is also my seven wing comes in where okay, security's gonna be lost, right?
21:30
SPEAKER_01: That's another aspect of it.
21:32
SPEAKER_01: So it's very difficult in that case.
21:36
SPEAKER_01: For me, I find that I can make up my mind, but sometimes my actions take a little while to follow.
21:41
SPEAKER_01: Sure, sure.
21:42
SPEAKER_00: Sure, probably well, and not necessarily, I think gut, um, the gut instinct triad, they tend to do, and then they then the emotions and then the thought process.
21:53
SPEAKER_00: But for you, um, you know, part of the thinking triad, you know, you had to really give it some thought and kind of.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: go through all the ramifications of making a choice like this.
22:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think people often think that sevens lead with their hearts and their emotions, but we definitely don't.
22:09
SPEAKER_01: We're we're in our heads, we're figuring stuff out, we're thinking things over way before we let anything show.
22:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:16
SPEAKER_00: Well your emotions might be on your sleeve in the sense that they're really accessible, but you're you're coming at it through the thought process and and you know the two wings to balance it out a little bit maybe a little gut to help you move forward and you know the six to slow it down.
22:34
SPEAKER_00: But for and then for you what did it look like to unpack kind of the painful pieces because again as a a someone who leads as a type seven you don't really want to explore the painful aspect of life.
22:47
SPEAKER_00: You would prefer to kind of run the other direction.
22:50
SPEAKER_00: So did you have really good counsel?
22:52
SPEAKER_00: Was your husband a great sounding board in that?
22:54
SPEAKER_01: How did you kind of get through all of that healthly and you and you were honest about it taking a year which is so good because can we just all acknowledge that that's hard and we we can't be expected to just get over it overnight even if we're we're having to make a quick decision the emotions might take a while to follow oh yeah well it's funny my husband's a three oh okay so uh our counselor teases us because he's like you guys are so happy but you forget to connect and we're like no we connect we're great like we we're together all day long and he's like but when do you talk about your emotions we're like we a feeling what like I don't know um so as a seven and a three we have a tendency to just like run toward the future holding hands absolutely but not necessarily like helping discussing our deep emotions about it right yeah let's just go go go yeah um and so for us he's so practical you know he here's where I feel like I'm being led and then he weighs in from a really practical perspective and then when we make a decision together he's always kind of shocked that I will drag my feet for a few months.
24:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah because for him once you make a decision there's no fear behind it you just take action just you know three a three isn't gonna be slowed down within action because you've got stuff to achieve um but me I'm like oh I need to wring my hands and worry about this for a few months and kind of dictate these emotional yeah but I had really good counselor my counselor was great I had two really close friends that that would help me and kind of pull me along in that season because it was a tough season.
24:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah absolutely so how do you you know kind of one of those things we talk about the path to growth the path to stress what is it that you do when you realize that you're going going towards stress and something what is it that you do to get back on the path to growth for you it was very enlightening when I realized what a seven dozen stress a seven will be critical and micromanage and you know kind of just suck all the energy out of a team.
24:59
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
24:59
SPEAKER_01: And I always knew that I would I I can do that.
25:02
SPEAKER_01: It's rare that I do it but it's possible to do that.
25:05
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
25:05
SPEAKER_01: But when I discovered that that's what we do under stress it was a light bulb moment for me.
25:10
SPEAKER_01: And so whenever I'm tempted to you know fire off a a response that could be a little more short or you know a text or yeah well I it's all what I do under stress is I forget to I forget to be polite before I give critical feedback.
25:28
SPEAKER_01: So it'll just be like interesting you know I'm thinking that maybe this is garbage.
25:32
SPEAKER_01: How about we fix it in this way you know that's me and and if if somebody is in the same room with me right you get it.
25:40
SPEAKER_01: Yes but if that if I text someone and say I feel like this is garbage let's fix it.
25:45
SPEAKER_00: The tone doesn't quite communicate well it's gonna come off terrible.
25:49
SPEAKER_01: So when I catch myself being under stress and wanting to do things really quickly I just have to pull back and go, okay that that's not going to come across well that's that's gonna come across to make people feel bad.
26:01
SPEAKER_01: So that that's one thing that's been really helpful for me as a leader.
26:04
SPEAKER_00: That's that's good.
26:05
SPEAKER_00: Okay coming at you from a parent perspective as I'm raising an Enneagram type seven what kind of advice do you have for me?
26:14
SPEAKER_01: I think sevens and you you may know more than I know but I think seven and eights are very similar in the way that we don't want to be controlled or micromanaged.
26:24
SPEAKER_01: I can't imagine being a seven and being raised with parents who were controlling or critical because I would imagine that would make it I mean I'm not saying you are I'm saying like that's worst case scenario as a seven um that would like drive a kid right out of the house.
26:41
SPEAKER_01: I would I would have just packed my stuff and lived in a tent in the yard.
26:45
SPEAKER_01: Of course if I had parents that way they wouldn't have let me know but you would have been thinking it so it was one of the best things looking back I would have been in my head plotting.
26:57
SPEAKER_00: How soon can I get out of here?
27:00
SPEAKER_00: So far they've talked about they want to go to a college that's less than three hours away and come home every weekend.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: So I feel like we might be doing okay I'm hopeful.
27:10
SPEAKER_01: That's a win my oldest is about two and a half hours away and he definitely doesn't come home every weekend but but just the idea that that they would want to is pretty good.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: Yes yes I kind of I'm thinking by that time they are you know in that stage of life we'll be okay that they aren't coming back every weekend.
27:28
SPEAKER_00: We're just glad that they might entertain the idea.
27:33
SPEAKER_00: That's great.
27:34
SPEAKER_00: Well that's some good advice what was one of the best things your parents did for you that you look back and you're I mean they didn't know about the Enneagram then but that helped you become the person that you are today.
27:47
SPEAKER_01: My mom was always open to opportunity or adventure.
27:52
SPEAKER_01: So if I had an idea about something she was fully supportive she was she wasn't one of those moms who if I had said I'm gonna be president she wouldn't have been like well you have to have good grades because I I didn't I wasn't I was not a studious student.
28:06
SPEAKER_01: She she didn't she didn't negate my dreams but she didn't puff me up and make me believe that I was better than I could be she was very practical okay um but very positive.
28:18
SPEAKER_01: So if I would have you know I want to go and do this or I want to go and do that she would talk me she would take it serious let's take it seriously talk me through it but be very positive about it.
28:27
SPEAKER_01: And I think that was great because she didn't she didn't steal my dreams but she didn't artificially puff me up either.
28:34
SPEAKER_01: That's amazing may we all parent like that is that something I had you tried to imagine I had a situation just last week literally my my 12 year old and I were on a ride at Dollywood as a seven would take her film absolutely all summer long and he's he's telling me about how he wants to get scholarships in college and he wants to get it for athletics.
28:55
SPEAKER_01: And I catch myself being like well they're really hard to get and you'd be more likely to get one academic you know and I and so finally I was like oh I gotta reel it back in because I'm stressed out thinking about him going far away to college.
29:09
SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm doing.
29:10
SPEAKER_01: And I was like you know what you're gonna do great at getting scholarships in college because you work really hard.
29:15
SPEAKER_01: Oh you keep working hard and you're gonna do a great job.
29:18
SPEAKER_01: And I could tell at the end he was happy but I caught myself from going down that road of oh really let me let me just speak some truth into you about these plans you have like I could have just I could have crushed him there in that moment.
29:32
SPEAKER_00: But you didn't that's so good.
29:33
SPEAKER_00: And oh man this takes the power of the Holy Spirit to you know guide her tongue and to put the bridle over it sometimes because it's just easy especially I mean I think for those in the again going back to the gut triad those who might just say it automatically to have to learn to rein it in a little bit and practice the you know thinking triads stance and think about it before they say it totally.
30:00
SPEAKER_00: I I think that's a great piece of parenting advice to put in our back pocket and and to remember as we encourage not just our sevens if we have a seven but any of our kids to to encourage that and I mean that is so life giving and in general when you're talking to someone about the Enneagram what do you say about it that I mean because I know that you've talked about it often and it's been so impactful for your life but how would you describe the Enneagram as being life giving to someone I think the Enneagram is really a tool for self-awareness.
30:36
SPEAKER_01: And once we understand ourselves and how we operate and how we see things it's key but equally important is it really helps us understand that everyone is so different because me as a seven I don't know how ones think.
30:49
SPEAKER_01: I don't know how threes think so I don't I don't know how any other other number think because I know how I think.
30:54
SPEAKER_00: Right.
30:55
SPEAKER_01: And so it allows you to see people as individuals and to know this person operates completely different than me.
31:01
SPEAKER_01: They have a completely different frame of reference the Enneagram for my mother for instance her and her husband she after she took the test and read up on it she she realized that she was a four.
31:11
SPEAKER_01: Oh wow which makes perfect sense I I don't know how I didn't see that and her husband is an eight.
31:16
SPEAKER_01: Okay wow her finding out that she's a four she said you know I've lived all these decades thinking something was wrong with me.
31:25
SPEAKER_01: And now I realize the things that I thought were wrong with me these are the classic traits of being a four.
31:31
SPEAKER_01: And so living all of her life beating herself up for being different than everybody else now she goes oh this is actually how God created me.
31:39
SPEAKER_01: Wow that's beautiful and with her husband all these traits that used to annoy her she'll go oh that's just him being an eight like he needs to challenge and he needs me to match his energy and it's it's helped their marriage it's helped mine and my husband's marriage because I know like I don't I don't really care about achieving for achieving sake.
31:57
SPEAKER_01: I just don't want to be stuck in pain.
31:58
SPEAKER_01: That's why I achieve right my husband he needs to come home from the gym and he needs to tell me what weight he lifted and he or he needs to go outside and tell me what yard work he's done and he needs me to be like that is really impressive.
32:15
SPEAKER_01: That's that's quite an achievement and if I continually say things like that to him he's the haviest man in the world.
32:22
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely that's great.
32:25
SPEAKER_01: He just he just pulled chicken out of the oven I was like oh that that looks great that's impressive and he's like you know so so proud of himself.
32:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah yeah I would be pretty excited about that if my husband was pulling chicken out of the oven the the best investment we have made recently I'm calling it my summer crack pot is a smoker.
32:46
SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah yeah so it totally random but my husband ended up buying one for 25 cents no joke 25 cents amazing his his buddy at work had some sort of bet going on with his wife so perfect yep I was like we are the winners and does he take over the cooking with the smoker or do you still I still do it but I know right but it's easy but it's easy and it's kind of this no-brainer again like the crock pot in the winter this is like my summer crock pot so I can get the meat going before I take the kids to the pool and then I'm golden because I've struggled all these years.
33:21
SPEAKER_00: We go to the pool, we come home dinner when it'd be ready everyone's starving because you know you're just and they get tired of crock pot food all the time.
33:29
SPEAKER_01: Yes I'll take what's changed our life I got it for my husband for Father's day.
33:32
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna love this tell me.
33:34
SPEAKER_01: So I'll tell you the best thing that we have ever it's a hibachi grill like a flat top grill that goes out on we put it we have it on our back porch.
33:41
SPEAKER_01: So you can do burgers you can do whatever you you normally would do on a flat top like bacon and eggs for breakfast you can have your meat on one side and veggies on the other side and there's very little cleanup because it's kind of it's seasoned like you would a cast iron pot if we cook bacon on it and then it's seasoned forever.
33:57
SPEAKER_01: The best food best tasting food ever that's amazing.
34:00
SPEAKER_01: I didn't even know you could get one of those so delicious.
34:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah it's not that much we got it at um I think we got it at Tractor Supply Best Father's thing.
34:13
SPEAKER_00: Because I was I'm kind of afraid if I got one of those my kids would want me to do all the you know fun things they do.
34:19
SPEAKER_01: A hundred percent and we're like the show is in the taste.
34:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah there you go does your husband use it or do you get to use it?
34:27
SPEAKER_00: That's the no he uses it.
34:29
SPEAKER_01: No I'm a terrible cook.
34:31
SPEAKER_01: Really?
34:31
SPEAKER_01: Oh terrible yeah when we first got married I tried like like I remember the sweet story we were really women yeah I mean I did my best and I bought a whole bag of frozen chicken breasts like with the grill marks already put on it we didn't have a grill and I didn't really know how food worked.
34:48
SPEAKER_01: So he comes home from work one day and I'm feeding him this chicken teriyaki chicken he goes this is great where how how where'd you get the the marks on it and I was like oh I cooked it that way he's so sweet he is a cook he knows we don't have a grill.
35:03
SPEAKER_01: I don't know where I think I got the grill marks but he I we never talked about it again the colors dry yeah not a good cook so you married really well I did this is wise and this is so helpful especially when you are doing all the seven things and running your business really well you're delegating you're delegating to the best the the now the real question is has has this talent passed on to any of your boys because with four boys in the house you probably need a little help with that no nobody helps mainly mainly because he but they do that but they do all the dishes and they do all the cleanup so that helps yeah that works but no my husband's so good at cooking he doesn't want anyone else to mess it up it's his domain yeah but the 20 year old since he moved out he's become a great cook that's he wasn't when he lived here but then I think he's just kind of taken what his dad's done and then he got hungry he's he's really big on Instagram so like whatever is happen whatever's happening on Instagram like he'll he'll come home be like let me make some avocado toasts for you.
36:06
SPEAKER_01: Oh hey that's very tricky it's cute.
36:09
SPEAKER_00: This is where the food of Instagram comes in handy for college boys I never would have expected that at all.
36:15
SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
36:16
SPEAKER_00: Well I thought it would be really fun to kind of end our conversation on this note because as anyone who follows you knows that you're all about the movies it's something that you've done to bond with said 20 year old son and your other boys and you're always like I feel like you're cutting edge on the blockbusters.
36:32
SPEAKER_00: So has there been any movies that you've seen recently that you sat there and you're like oh I can totally tell that's an Annie Graham 7 or a type whatever as you watch the characters develop and play out no I've never I I've never done it because I think I'm so into the movie.
36:51
SPEAKER_01: Like I'll leave the movie and my 18 year old son he's breaking down like the plot points and and the pacing and he's doing all that and I'm just like oh I was just sitting there absorbing it all.
37:01
SPEAKER_01: I wasn't even thinking of anything at all.
37:03
SPEAKER_01: But now that makes so much sense like oh this is amazing and of course he's a six and so he's analyzing everything.
37:13
SPEAKER_01: But now that you say that because we watch a lot of movies over and over again having so many boys I think I want to do that in the future.
37:19
SPEAKER_00: Yes you need to I think my sister and I are going to do a just kind of a fun bonus episode about some of our favorite shows and break down the types of the characters some of our you know like little women and you know a few of the classics and some of those because I would like Down to Abbey.
37:37
SPEAKER_00: Oh yes and Enneagram numbers that would be so fun okay I'm gonna put that on the list she and I could definitely talk about that.
37:44
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what's terrible though?
37:46
SPEAKER_00: I have not watched the last two episodes of Down and Abbey True Confession I think I couldn't bring myself to do it.
37:52
SPEAKER_01: I I was that way with Lost.
37:54
SPEAKER_01: I'm the only person that doesn't know how Lost ended well you're probably better for it.
37:58
SPEAKER_01: I know that's what everyone says but here's what you need to do you need to watch those two episodes before the movie comes out in September.
38:04
SPEAKER_01: I started watching Downtown Abbey in the beginning of June because I was at a movie with a friend and she said and I said that trailer looks good and she said oh you should because I had just finished the crown and I normally don't even watch TV I'm binging for some reason.
38:19
SPEAKER_00: I just watched the crown she said you need to watch Downton Abbey I've watched it all in in two months no way that's amazing it's a seven thing who says we're gluttons who would get that from a seven yes totally that's awesome I don't know how you find time but I imagine that that's well actually that's what I hear again and again about type sevens is that watching getting lost in a movie is such a huge stress reliever and it's almost something they have to do to stay healthy and at least I read in Richard Rohr's book The Enneagram from a Christian perspective that sevens love movies especially sci-fi and I was like yes I do you get me yeah that's so great.
39:01
SPEAKER_00: Yes it has been so right I feel like you have represented the seven so well and help people if they are wondering if they're a seven maybe they can identify a little bit better or those who love a seven or who are in a relationship with a seven they can go oh I can get them and then for all the content creators out there everyone now knows that they want to come to Blistom that Blistom is for them indeed.
39:30
SPEAKER_01: This has been so great.
39:32
SPEAKER_01: Thanks so much for having me on the show and I can't wait to meet you in person at Blistom in November.
39:37
SPEAKER_00: Say you say do you have a better understanding of an Enneagram 7?
39:45
SPEAKER_00: I certainly hope you learned a little bit more in our conversation today.
39:48
SPEAKER_00: You've taken the first step in the Enneagram journey and tuned in to hear perspective but if you're looking for more insight I have several ways to help you.
39:57
SPEAKER_00: Check out our Instagram feed for weekly Enneagram postings and then get the wholehearted Enneagram quick start which is my step-by-step guide to gain clearer understanding on your dominant type.
40:08
SPEAKER_00: If you're looking for a colorful overview, my wholehearted Enneagram summary gives you the highlights of all nine types on one page.
40:16
SPEAKER_00: It is so helpful as you talk to others about this awesome resource.
40:19
SPEAKER_00: And last but not least I have just opened up a few more coaching spots for August.
40:24
SPEAKER_00: For now you can get on the wait list for a free 30-minute consult.
40:28
SPEAKER_00: All the info is in the show notes or at simply wholehearted.com and be on the lookout for some changes and more Enneagram resources coming soon.
40:37
SPEAKER_00: Also be sure to follow Ali and Blistum on the socials.
40:41
SPEAKER_00: You can count on her food to not only be funny but inspiring and motivating.
40:46
SPEAKER_00: And make sure you are subscribed so you don't miss another two-week episode.
40:50
SPEAKER_00: Next Tuesday I'm sharing a bonus conversation with Katie Battastilli.
40:54
SPEAKER_00: She's not only the mom of Francesca Battastilli, yes, the famous singer and songwriter, but she is also an author and speaker with a wild and wholehearted testimony.
41:04
SPEAKER_00: You'll hear us chat a little bit about the Enneagram in our conversation because she was still unsure if she led as a type 3 or as a type 8 if you'll want to listen in.
41:13
SPEAKER_00: Let's continue to invite others to join us as we pursue perspective, purpose and place for a simply wholehearted life