Latest / Reverse Jackass / Ep65: Nick hears them cheering his name; Evelyn gets taken out by the Chinese buffet.

Transcript

Ep65: Nick hears them cheering his name; Evelyn gets taken out by the Chinese buffet. · Reverse Jackass

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's remote dump dump bum bump bump bum bum bump bum bump bump the com you No no no no no I was doing I was doing an opening number for our listeners I was being the I was being another instrument What instrument were you being uh trumpet?
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_03: You know them better than I do.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's okay like I can tell it wasn't welcome.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_03: I'll stop.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'll stop tell me tell me how you'd hold it.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like show me because how I'd hold it.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like put your hands where they would only one hand.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm Louis Armstrong.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that's the first thing I thought of when I came into this call today.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, who is this puffy cheeked maniac?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: On the trumpet.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's a work of art.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, I'm sorry.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Go ahead and sing the song.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's over.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the reverse jackass podcast, everyone.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: There would have been an amazing You know you want to sing Panda.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: Stranger Happy to meet you see you, Bliber.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_03: You're getting this for free, folks.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_03: You're getting this for free.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_03: Listen to it now because I'm sure we'll get sued and we'll have to take it down.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like it might be fine.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: At this point, my grandma might be the only one hanging on, listening.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And Wanis.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Hey Wanus.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for nice.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_03: It's nice to hear you say his name.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, Wanis, Jason J, Diana.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Got our little super fan.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Got our super fan.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Got our super fan trio out there.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, it's nice.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Giving a shout out to all of y'all.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you're listening to the reverse jackass podcast.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: You probably know that by now, or maybe you thought you clicked on something that was was uploaded unintentionally.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: But let me reassure you, this is very much intentional.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is very God's accident is our intention.
• 2:29
  unknown: Yeah, that's right.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: That should be the new slogan for our podcast, actually.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's what this should be.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, my name is Evelyn the Canadian Blade, and I'm here with my my good friend who's not at all burdened in his life for one minute because he's Nick God's favorite Bagner.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's your new name.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_03: I accepted.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_03: I knew you were gonna try to get ahead of it this week.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_03: I was telling how offended you were like I hate it.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: I hate it.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: I hate it so much.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh, I can't introduce you like the button.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: But you did, but you did call yourself God's favorite in a couple episodes that I was editing, and I was like, you know what?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's less offensive.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's less offensive, and I think that F-word.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, you certainly our our episodes don't have a lack of that word in them.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that you know, I just think it's nice to have a little bit of uh a little bit of variety.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_03: What if it was the American coitus machine?
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_03: Would that feel better?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's actually for some reason that's way funnier.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_03: How it how interesting.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: I think I just get to switch it up depending on how I feel every day.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's a creative podcast.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_03: But it also tells me that you are God's favorite because you have two nicknames.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you have two nicknames, you've just rejected all the other ones that we've given you.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Big syrup makes me feel weird about myself, okay?
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_03: No, it's funny.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's the a big part of this podcast is towing the line between wanting to get under your skin just a little bit and not wanting to get under your skin a lot.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_03: And so I think that the I think the American F machine really toes the line.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_03: It's just it's just right.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're really, I think you've really found the the zone.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: You've really you've really zoned in on which I have to say, more than being annoyed, I'm really impressed with because I think you're like the brain surgeon of finding exactly where someone's like that little dig can go, you know.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's good, it's really, really good.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Nick, while your mouth is full of soda, or as we call it in Canada, pop, why don't you um swallow that big sugary load and then say hello to our listeners?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_03: You can say swallow that big sugary load, and I can't say the American F machine.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_03: I was talking about the pop.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_03: You know I was.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_03: The word choice was coincidental there.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_03: It's just yeah, yeah.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_03: It was just it was just God speaking through you.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, I wouldn't go that far.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I swallowed.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, now who's gonna do a spit take?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_03: And I have a story for you today, and I'm gonna just I'm just gonna launch right into it.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_03: Get right in there, I want to hear it all.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: And this this is a story of physical prowess, this is a story of athletic excellence.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's you know what, that is a common denominator in this friendship is athletic excellence.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, if there's one thing that draws you and me together, yeah, absolutely.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_03: It's a dogged determination to perfect the our craft inside and outside of the gym in competitive sports.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, my body is a temple, and I will not hear otherwise.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_03: People don't know this, but this started off as a weightlifting podcast.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_03: Um we called it gains and brains.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_03: Gains and brains.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so I'm in high school, I'm in 10th grade, and I joined the indoor track team to have something to do and maybe to make my dad proud of me, and also because I have this friend who's into it and having a good time with it.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_03: And the the bummer part of it is that although I would kill to have that little high school body I had back then, I was no kind of runner then any more than I am now, right?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, but the thing about track that makes it great is that there's no limit on the number of people that can enter.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_03: So, like they have to take you.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_03: If you show up for practice, you get to be a member of the team.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_03: And so I, as a slow person, still got to be a member of the track team, still got to run drills and still do all the stuff, right?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_03: Which I actually hated it and shouldn't have done again, but did do again.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm an indoor track, and indoor track is a really interesting and weird thing.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_03: It's like outdoor track, except it's run indoors, and for some reason, a lot of the races are different lengths than outdoor track, and I don't know particularly why that is.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_03: Weird.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_03: But I didn't have any idea what event to compete in.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_03: And so this coach that we had, the assistant coach, who I feel really torn about because he was so nice to me.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_03: He was like 23.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_03: He was like super good looking and so nice to me, even though I was slow.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_03: And he was also dating one of the girls on the team.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_03: So I really have mixed.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_03: He was 23.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: But still, but still, yeah.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_03: Still a lot of problems, just not illegal.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_03: So I have really mixed feelings about this guy, but he was really nice to me.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_03: And he goes, I'm gonna put you in the 500-meter race.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_03: That's what you're gonna do.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_03: So I show up at the Arthur Ashe Center, and like I'm so new to this thing, and somebody has told me so little that I I show up with my track uniform, and I'm like, I don't know if I'm supposed to wear a shirt under this.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I don't I have not been to a track meet.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if I'm just supposed to wear the thing or if I'm supposed to wear a shirt.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_03: And then I was like starting to panic.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_03: And it's the morning of the main wait, describe like a shiny tank top.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes, okay, with four colors.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, gotcha.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_03: And I thought it was one of those things where you can't remember what you've actually seen.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, did I see kids just wearing these things, or is this something you put a shirt on over?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm all the way across town.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_03: I'm in downtown Richmond, I'm at their Arthur Ash Center, I don't know what the fuck to do.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm freaking out.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, if I show up just wearing this thing and I'm supposed to have a shirt underneath it, I'm gonna look like a fucking monster.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_03: So I ended up finding a goodwill and buying a shirt that I then put on under the thing, only to go there and find out that everybody else just wears their track uniforms and you wear the tank top.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_03: But this is like a common theme in my life is that like I don't have a mentor there to hold my hand and tell me exactly how to show up, right?
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_03: So anyway, race time comes around and I'm in the last heat, which is they do it fastest to slowest.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_03: So like they have as many runners as you can have.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_03: Like, if they have six lanes, you can have six runners in a heat, and they run until they're done with all the guys.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_03: So the fastest, six kids go first, and then the next fastest, all the way down to the last heat.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_03: And the last heat is me and five other dudes.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_03: And 500 meters for my American friends listening to this, is a really, really long sprint.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_03: It's like the longest race that's still a sprint.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: Five hundred meters is a sprint, you'd say.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_03: Beyond that, it's it's uh it's distance.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, fair.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, fair.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, so like a lot of a lot of sprints are like a hundred meters, you know what I mean?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_03: Like that.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_03: 50 meters.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: Like those are the those are the ones that you are famous in the Olympics.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_03: So 500 meters, but 500 meters, you still have to go out all out the whole way.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_03: Like there's just no other way to do it.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_03: You don't for 500 meters, you don't have time to modulate or to like change speeds or stuff like that.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_03: You just have to go all out, right?
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_03: But of course, I don't know, I'm gonna go all out anyway.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_03: So we get in our lanes, there's six of us, it's staggered, the gun goes off, and we start running.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_03: And immediately, even though I'm in the slowest heat, four dudes are way faster than me, and they just take off and they tear off.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_03: And there is me and one other dude, and we're sort of neck and neck.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_03: And I want to emphasize that I don't know the kids on my track team.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not friends with them, I'm not an athlete, I don't fit into these spaces.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_03: I feel very alone, except for my one friend who was there for me.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_03: He was a good guy.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_03: And so I'm running this race, and all I'm thinking is I don't want to come in last.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_03: Just please God, don't let me come in last.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_03: Don't let me come in last in the slow heat.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_03: And it's just me and this other sort of big dude, and we're just running, and I'm just tearing and running, and I'm gonna leave everything on the fucking track, right?
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_03: You're just going out.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_03: And about 250 meters into it, kids start to shout my name.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: Nick.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_03: Nick Nick.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_03: They're sort of on the track.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_03: Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, they're cheering.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_03: Hands in the air.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_03: It's like a movie.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_03: Nick.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_03: Nick, Nick! And I'm just like, oh my god, what is this?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_03: Kids from kids from my school, kids from other schools.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_03: Nick, Nick, Nick.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, I gotta do this.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: I gotta do this.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_03: And I just I ran as fast as I fucking could, and I finished about two inches ahead of the next kid whose name was Nick.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_03: And and apparently he was really popular.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_03: And so I beat him, but everybody on the track, like I finished, and everybody then gathered around this kid and we're patting him on the back.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_03: And I must, he must have been a lovely kid.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_03: He didn't seem like a bad kid, but like whatever it was, they were cheering on their slow friend who had the same name as me.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so that's the first race that I run in my high school career, right?
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_03: Flash forward.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I have to just pause to say what an exceptional storyteller you are because I was right in there with you.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, this is a field of dreams moment.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is a bad news bears moment.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is like we are, and I was like, he's gonna do it, he's gonna do it.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then when you said the other student's name was Nick, I seriously felt like someone punched me in the gut.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted to cry.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: That was oh, okay.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: Please, please continue.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_03: Perhaps coincidentally, when you get done with a 500 meter sprint, you do feel like you've been punched in the gut and you want to cry.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Probably, yeah.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_03: So flash forward like two years, and I have continued to do track, and it is the last race of the last year that I will do track.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_03: It is my junior year, it is outdoor track, and I am still slow, but now I'm experienced and I know how to do it.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm on this, I'm on this team, and this is like I don't want to ever be this dude that brags about his high school, so please don't take it that way.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_03: But like, I'm on this team that has great runners on it.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not one of them, but we have phenomenal state-ranked runners on our team.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_03: And the last meet of the year happens to be between us and this other high school, where they are also the other super mega good school in the region.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_03: So it's for all the marbles.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, every race fucking matters.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, my part of the race doesn't matter.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not scoring, but every race matters.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_03: It's huge, it's high stakes, everybody wants to win.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_03: This other school is great, we're great, etc.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_03: And the and the last race of my high school career is to be the four by four, which is four people relaying 400 meters apiece, right?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_03: One lap around the track, one quarter mile for my American friends, right?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_03: And it is a thing where you know you have these teams of four, they pass a baton, and typically of the four, the fourth guy is the fastest one, the first guy is the second fastest one, the third guy is the third fastest one, and the second guy is the slowest one.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_03: And that's just the conventional wisdom about how to run these things.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_03: So coach says, You're gonna do the anchor, you're gonna be the fast guy, you're gonna be the last guy running for your team.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_03: So it's to you?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_03: Again, now I want to say this is a relay of slow guys.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, okay, right.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_03: We have our A team, our A team is our four absolute fastest guys, their A team is their four fastest guys.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_03: Our B team is me and my three slow friends, okay, and they have no B team, right?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_03: But we're all gonna run at the same time, right?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_03: And so it's really a meaningless thing, other than to the four of us that were running this thing.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_03: But you show up and you compete, right?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_03: So the gun goes off, and their A team and our A team and our B guy start running, and they run around the track, and our guy tries to keep up with them, and for like most of one lap, he sort of keeps up with these other dudes.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I'm sorry, forgive me.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_03: This was the this is the four by eight.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_03: This is actually a half mile relay.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry, it's not four by four, it's four by eight.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_03: And he ends up getting lapped by by the guys because he slows down so much.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_03: So then the second guy goes and they're going.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_03: And basically, this race is folding out where it's really exciting between the two A teams, and our guys are also on the track.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_03: So by the time I'm waiting to get the baton, the last guys from the other two A teams are coming around the final stretch.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm gonna get the baton as they're finishing the race.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_03: So, as they're running down the thing, I have my hand out, the guy hands me a fucking baton, and I start running.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_03: Now remember that within 10 seconds the actual race is over.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, yep.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_03: And so then what happened was the three minutes of me running 800 meters by myself on the track while everybody waited.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_03: And this time kids from both schools came out of the track and they go, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody's cheering me on.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_03: I'm the only guy on the track.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_03: It's me.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_03: And the reason they're cheering me on is sort of tongue in cheek, because it doesn't fucking matter.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_03: Right, right.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_03: Because literally, I am a guy running against nobody for no points, not scoring anything, just running a race.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_03: It is finished.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_03: It's one of those things, yeah.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_03: It's one of those things where like it matters to nobody to cheer for me.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_03: So it's almost funny where everybody should cheer for me because I have no enemies on this thing.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_03: And and I'm also kind of slow.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_03: And so I'm running, running, running, just running my ass off.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_03: Kids from both teams.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_03: Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_03: And this time, Evelyn, it was for me.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's great.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, so my question for you, Evelyn.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_03: Is what's the most exhausted you've ever been?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's good.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's good.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: That was really good.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not gonna be camp norovirus.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_03: That's shocking to me, by the way, because that seems like an obvious pick.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: So we want something natural, right?
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: Not medically induced.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_03: I don't give a shit.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_03: It's your well, I'm just pointing to break each other's balls.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_03: It's not like historical accuracy is a point of this podcast.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_03: Or you'd remember George Washington Carver.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_03: That's true.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: Historical accuracy in my own life is one of my top values.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like I gotta George Washington, the American peanut machine carver.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Carver, yeah.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what's the most exhausted I have ever been?
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the first thing I thought of was when my mom died.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_03: So that's not like really I know you think we can't make that story funny.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_03: But we could, but we couldn't.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not saying we should, but I'm just saying you lack vision.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, sometimes I do.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I'm too literal.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_03: I know.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_03: I'll I'll give you that.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_03: Um I was just gonna say, I mean, is this because you just haven't worked very hard in your life?
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_03: That like you know what it probably is.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_03: It probably is.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I was just listening to our podcast where you're talking about teaching and stiletto heels every day.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_03: So I know you know how to work.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_03: I know you know how to struggle.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: I know how to work and I know how to work it.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Work it.
• 16:24
  unknown: Okay.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: So there was a time uh back in university, my roommate and I, we we both had a history of attending camps.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: The listeners on here know my history of attending camps.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: And she had the same kind of thing, like church camps growing up.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: And one summer she had the job of being the head cook at a camp.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, God.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: And this camp, I don't remember a lot about it.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I remember a-camps, loves and fish.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I remember she was really overwhelmed at this camp.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I remember at some point, I don't know if we were talking on the phone, we must have been, but I don't remember how I got a read on how overwhelmed she was.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: But I said, I'm going to come up for two or three days and I'm going to help you.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna go to this camp.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know anything about the camp.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even remember where it was now.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: I just remember she was in the kitchen and I just decided I would be an extra set of hands for her.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I go up, and this was at a time where she and I were both maybe at different stages in our religious journeys than we are now, is what I'm saying.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: So we were very similar back then.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like she her mom was her mom was an Anglican minister, which was super rad.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: And her dad's a hoof trimmer, a sheep hoof trimmer, so which is super cool.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: So she and I something we found we found we had this in common in first year university.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we would do devotions together, we would do some Bible study together, we would pray together, like this kind of thing.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: It was not abnormal for us to do at this time.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so at this camp, this camp was a church camp, I think, of sorts.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: I don't exactly remember because, like I said, I wasn't invested in it.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: I was just going up to help her.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so I remember getting up, you're getting up at like four in the morning, right?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: Or something insane like that.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: And we're going in the kitchen, and it is full-blown hard work, nonstop food prep, dishes, cooking things, service.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like we were going on, and it I swear it was like an 18, 19 hour day.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I remember being absolutely spent, and I I remember I have a very vivid memory of us in a cabin, and we were so tired, and we're laying beside each other in two different bunk beds, we're on the bottom bugs, and I remember being like, I'm just gonna pray for us, and we were I remember that prayer was probably one of the most incoherent prayers I've ever prayed in my life because our bodies were so tired, and then we're getting up in like six hours, five hours to do it all over again.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember, you know, there's been a lot of times in my life when I've been exhausted by grief, exhausted by burnout, but this was just exhausted from doing a lot of cooking.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_03: Awful work, yeah.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: Just really laborious stuff, and it wasn't dirty work.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not out there doing construction in the summer, right?
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not digging in the dirt, I'm not holding signs on the roads for traffic.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: But this was like we really had a sense that we were doing something really good and meaningful.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like this was the labor, this was the labor that the Lord intended for us to do, and we just needed help getting through it.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, Nick, all we were doing was probably like cooking up a bunch of hamburgers or hot dogs.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: And sure, but you know that is labor intense.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sure there's a hundred campers, like a hundred campers without hamburgers and hot dogs is awful.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_03: To say nothing if you're doing breakfast, I'm sure you're doing scrambled eggs and you know you're you've got some kind of starch happening, like muffins or pancakes.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're just there's nothing that's really super hands-off that you can just get in there.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you're cutting up veggies and stuff for salad, you're preparing tacos for taco night or whatever.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was, I was so tired.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you another time I was tired, and this was this is because I got sick, and this is a way better story.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: When I was dating my husband, we were about six months out of our wedding.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: I got actual norovirus on my father-in-law's birthday.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh and I think it might have been his 60th.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_03: Let me ask you, did you contract it on his birthday or did you like experience the symptoms on his birthday?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: I experienced the symptoms.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: I experienced the full norovirus experience on my father-in-law's birthday.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I contracted it guaranteed the day before because we all, as a big the old familiar, went out to the mandarin.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: Do you guys have the mandarin?
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a big Chinese, it's a big, massive, crazy Chinese food buffet.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's like all you can eat.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure it's great.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was great when I had it.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it it has almost everything you could ever want in there.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but we'd go there and plus norovirus.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: Plus norovirus.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so we went there and that night uh I went to sleep.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: I remember feeling fine.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: The next day I woke up and I had a I had a cramp in my tummy.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, this is weird.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and I have never had food poisoning.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: I have never had norovirus before.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, oh gosh, this is really weird.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not feeling so great.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I went up upstairs, and I I was gonna say, Amber, you might want to stop listening to this, but there's only this the barf is not happening yet.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: So Amber, you're safe to keep listening.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: I went upstairs and I went to the bathroom, and I remember all of a sudden feeling like I had been hit by a train, and I was so tired I couldn't hold my head up.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I leaned my head, I'm on the can, and I lean my head on the counter beside me with my head on my hand.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the next thing I remember is I am laying on the floor.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Face down, lips touching the bathroom floor.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know how I got down there.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: And there's pounding.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how you got down there.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: You fell.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: You passed out.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: You better go down.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: This was no.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I went down so hard I broke my glasses.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: So my glasses, I broke in two.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: I had cuts on my face from hitting them.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: Jay and his dad are hitting on the door, going, Eva, are you okay?
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: We heard I can only imagine the thump was thunderous.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like it would have been incredible.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: And the door was locked, and I could reach up and get the door, but I couldn't go too far up because I got so dizzy.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: All I wanted to do was lay on the ground.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: Keep in mind, my pants are still down at this point, and the toilet is full of diarrhea.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: Classic, class, classic ev.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: So they open the door, they come in.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: All I can do is lay there.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't move my head.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: I was so dizzy.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I was so tired.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: So Jason pulled my pants up and he flushed the toilet.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: And we were engaged, like I said, at this point.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: So there's no backing out now.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I just wanted to lay there for a second.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: I remember hearing Jay's mom say, Do we want to call like the ambulance?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: Should we take her to the hospital?
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I at that point was like, yeah, I probably should.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like I've never felt like this before in my life.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: It was, I was so disoriented.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: I was so out of it.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: I like I couldn't move.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: We decided the best place for me would be in the bed, like the bedroom, which was Jay's parents' bedroom, right beside the bathroom.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm laying in there and I'm just feeling awful.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm trying to sleep.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: My whole body is just chaos at this point.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm laying there still not feeling great.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm fevered.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was just my body felt like it was full of bricks, and I just wanted to sleep.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so Jay came up to because everyone else is partying downstairs.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: So that was really nice.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm upstairs.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just shitting.
• 24:07
  unknown: That's all it is.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: So Jay comes upstairs to check on me.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Okay, Amber, this is where you're gonna plug your ears for a sec.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I said, I think I'm going to be sick.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I sat up on the side of the bed.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: It was Jay's mom's side of the bed.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm kind of sitting on the blankets and half on the pillow.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: And Jay gets the wastebasket.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_03: The laundry basket is what I almost Oh my god.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_03: That would be the troll of the century.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no, your asset goes.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: Give it to him.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm about to tell you the troll of the century.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Jay hands me a wastebasket.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: I throw up so forcefully that I completely shit the bed and I shat on Jay's mom's pillow.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I shat like all like completely, like couldn't stop it if I clenched.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: Couldn't stop it if I tried.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like it hit the pillow.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it soaked right through my pants.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was just pure liquid.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: It was it was impressive.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta say, like, I gotta say, for there was even a little part of me in that moment that was like, right?
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: But I couldn't actually do anything about it.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, I could have been like, oh, I'm probably gonna death's door again, so tired.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted to sleep.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: So once that happened, I actually felt a lot better.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: I felt a lot better.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: My fever broke.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm laying in bed, um, just resting up a bit.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: We decided it was time to drive me home because this was up two and a half hours away from home.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I was sick, not at my own house.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that was the worst part.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: There's been a lot of therapy about this, to be honest.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I've even done EMDR for this.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is that was worse.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: The drive home was worse than what you've just described.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_03: The what I just described.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_03: I've done a lot of like therapy and EMDR because I'm not sure.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_03: No, no, no, but you said that was that was the worst part, was like you said when I brought up the drive.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, did I?
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I said, yeah, I said it software.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_03: You said, yeah, that was the worst part.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_03: So okay, anyway.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_03: What was the worst part of the drive?
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_03: That's what I in this is great podcasting.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_03: That's what I inferred from what you said, but maybe I misheard you.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_03: You'll go back and you'll edit all this part out and you'll go, yeah, I don't, you know, Nick was obviously right.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I will, I will, and I'll edit that part out too, because we don't want people getting the wrong message here.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: So then Jason drove me home two and a half hours, and this I remember he needed to go see an apartment that he was renting because he was about to move to London for a job.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: So he was looking at an apartment while I stayed in the car.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember in that car being absolutely motionless, like just laying to the side, face against the window, just knowing that the worst was over, but also not trusting any compulsion to fart that I have of course feeling.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like at this point, it's too soon.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: Fool me once, right?
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: We're not doing that.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: So then we get to London, we're there.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: Jay stays over for the night to make sure I'm okay.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: The next day he stays over.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's good.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: We had a dinner, we have a restaurant here called Swish LA, and it's just like roast chicken and fries and all sorts of stuff.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: So we had nope.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted some chicken.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: I just like plain, okay, plain white meat chicken, right?
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: And a and a plain baked potato, just a couple bits of it.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it was at that moment that Jay finished eating his chicken wrap and said, Excuse me for a moment, and I'll never forget this.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: Gets up, walks to the bathroom, and pukes everywhere.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because now he has it in my apartment.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: So then I had to take care of him.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: Not a Swish LA.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: We had this at my at my apartment.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: So we're literally, I am now I'm recovering from this.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_00: Cut on my face, no energy.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: Jay's starting into it now.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: He poops in my bed when he was sleeping.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_02: Oh kidding.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: Not as bad, but it was there.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sleeping on the couch, I'm sleeping on the chair in my bedroom.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was it was a wild week.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: It was a wild week.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: And the funny part is about a month later, we were doing uh premarital counseling through our church, and the guy leading it who had his fly down every session, by the way.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: So that was a little disconcerting.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: I do that all the time.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's so embarrassing.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you're not leading premarital counseling in a church, okay?
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: Fair enough.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: You can do whatever you want.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_03: In a in a secular setting, right?
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, that's all.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so I remember the leader said, Okay, now we're gonna get into some really, really tough topics.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna talk about finances.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna talk about finances.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is where people tend to have a lot of differences.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: So we're like, okay, we're gonna talk about finances here.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna get he's like, this is gonna get this could get really tough.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: And Jay leans over and whispers to me, I just wiped your bum last week.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think that we can I think we can handle this.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Yeah, when you've wiped someone's bum when they are sick, you can handle talking about money, I think.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: You hope.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, our finance.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: It seems like it worked for you and Jay.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: It worked great.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: We're on the same page.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: We have a great handle on our finances.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: So here's my advice wash your hands when you go to a buffet.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: Wash your hands, yes, folks.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Don't put anything in your mouth ever, other than the food.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: Don't don't eat.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: You can pay$40 for the experience of sitting there and never take a few.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_03: Swiss Let never made anybody sick.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_03: Sounds like it was what you needed in that moment, and I stand by your your decision there.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_03: I do regret that the the marriage counselor didn't get norovirus.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_03: I think that would have been the real cherry on the Sunday if he was like, this is gonna get really hard.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_03: If you will excuse me.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_03: And then it just all blows out the front of his zipper in front of his zipper.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, he's like the next cut to cut to he's in the men's room of the church.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_03: Jay is mopping his brow with a wet paper towel, wiping his ass.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we've been there, brother.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_03: We've been we've been there.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: We know we're tag teaming him.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I'm just I'm holding his hair while he's throwing up.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: You're tag teaming.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_03: You are working blue today.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_03: Between that and swallowing the sugary load, you are I didn't.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_03: Everything's fine.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_03: I've been restrained today.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_03: Has that given you more room?
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_03: Has that given you more room to work blue?
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: No, no.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: No, I don't, I'm not, I don't know what you're talking about.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what you're talking about.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, sounds like you don't.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so those are my stories about being uh really tired.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: One one I did to myself, and one the Mandarin did to me.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna get sued by the Mandarin.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: They're never gonna hear this, they're too busy promoting all you can eat chicken balls.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it sounds good when you describe it.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_03: I admit, like I regret to say that I'm deterred, not even one tiny bit.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_03: Because I haven't had a Chinese buffet in so long, and those are one of my favorite things.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, again, it's on your Canada list.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_03: Like, if you're coming here, we're gonna give you noravirus.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: No, that was that was like 20 years ago.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like they haven't cleaned track records since then.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: The they must because the amount of people that are there every time, like it is a happen and place.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so again, it's all you can eat, like$40, which is like basically eight dollars and forty-seven cents.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_03: That sounds like a lot to me, but it's been so long.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_03: I used to go to one in Chicago that I want to say was like ten dollars.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_03: Um I mean, this would have been 20 years ago, and it was not a nice buffet.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_03: It was the buffet that was near my office that that none of my coworkers would go with me to.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_03: I actually used to go do it if I wanted time alone.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_03: I'd be like, I'm gonna go to Chinese buffet.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_03: Is anybody wanna come?
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_03: And they'd go, Fuck no, I'm not going to Chinese buffet.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_03: And then I'd go buy a magazine and I'd sit by myself at the Chinese buffet and just read in a reading a penthouse.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_03: I wish.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_03: That would have been so satisfying.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_03: That would have not been great, like right beside a kid's birthday party.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_03: Like, probably not.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it was during a a work day.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody would have been offended but the service staff.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_03: Do you know what I mean?
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_03: They matter.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_03: If you want to read it, well, yeah, that's why I didn't do it.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_03: But if you want to read a penthouse at a kid's birthday party, you have to make it happen.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_03: It doesn't just happen at the Chinese buffet.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_03: You have to go to a you have to go to a roller rink uh or you have to make it happen.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't just happen, Evelyn.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_03: You have to go to a roller rink or a showing of Milana uh in order to make that happen.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_03: Anyway, uh that's our story.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_03: That's our stories of of exhausting ourselves and hopefully not exhausting you.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for listening to the Reverse Jackass podcast.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_03: We love you to death.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_03: I'm Nick with me as always is Evelyn the Canadian Blade.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_03: Evelyn, say goodbye to these wonderful listeners of ours.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, goodbye, and thank you for listening to our stories.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: We always appreciate your ears.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if these stories evoke something in you, you can email us at reversejackass at gmail.com because we would love to hear it.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: We'll read your stories live on the air.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_02: We'll read them.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_02: What good is sitting alone in your room?
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_02: Come hear the music play.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_02: You should sing with me.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_02: Life is a cabo rail chunk.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_02: Come to the cabo.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: Some neighbors are besties.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_03: Others quarrel bitterly.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: Stuck together through geography.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_03: One of us has nukes, and the other has tokes.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's American and Canadian diplomacy.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's revers.