Latest / CEO Kingdom Seekers / Ep 28: The Fourth Watch (Part 1): When the Storm Takes Longer Than Expected (Matthew 14:22–33)

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Ep 28: The Fourth Watch (Part 1): When the Storm Takes Longer Than Expected (Matthew 14:22–33) · CEO Kingdom Seekers

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: So before we start today, I want to give y'all a little bit of context for why this episode is going to end a little bit differently.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_02: So this began as one of our weekly regulated roots live trainings.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: And I was teaching on Matthew 14, which is Jesus walking on the water, Peter stepping out of the boat.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: And what happens when the wind gets loud enough that we take our eyes off Jesus?
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: And right as I was getting to the final part of that lesson, our power went out.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_02: We had been hit by one of the strongest storms we'd seen in a while, right as I was teaching about having faith in storms.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: And it got so dark that at 10:30 in the morning I could barely see in a room full of windows.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: And so I kept teaching, hoping that my cell service and the live was like working, but it turns out it didn't.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: And the final part of the training was lost.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: And honestly, the more that I've sat with it, the more I think that it wasn't lost at all.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: After the live ended, I couldn't work with clients and I could barely get enough cell service to even send messages.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_02: And so I couldn't work.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_02: And so I went upstairs and I sat in this oversized chair in our bedroom.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I just closed my eyes and I started to pray.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: I was so frustrated and I was so confused.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I heard one question in the middle of that prayer from God was, and I heard him say, Will you have a little faith?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: And that question actually led me to go back through my journals, 33 journals that I have been writing in over the last 10 years, more than 40 hours of reading and reflecting and crying and praying and writing and asking and meditating and talking it through with trusted people in my life.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I wrote over 60 pages.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: And it showed me again what can happen when God clears space for things that we don't know that we need.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: And how so often what we think is part of the storm that creates doubt for us is really God's providence.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: And so this episode, this is part one.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: I'm actually gonna shift this and break it into two parts because so much has happened since that episode.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: That in part two, I'm gonna share what happened after the darkness, including something new we're building for people who carry a lot of responsibility.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: So I want you to listen in this episode as we go through.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: Listen for the storm that you have been rowing through personally, like much longer than you've expected.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: Listen for the place where you might be seeing scary things and ghosts where God is actually showing up to help you, like where you're labeling the solution to your problem just another problem to solve.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I want you to stay with me to the end, right up to the point that we start talking about doubt, because that's what's going to take us into part two.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: So we are going to be talking through two parts of scripture actually today.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_02: But today we are going to be discussing Matthew chapter 14, verses 22 through 33.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_02: That storm where Jesus walks on water and where Peter comes out of the boat and meets Jesus on the water.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_02: We're going to be discussing that.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: And we're going to be also looking at James chapter one, verses two through eight.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: We're going to start off in prayer.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_02: Then we're going to dive right into the lesson.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_02: Dear God, thank you so much for bringing us all together today.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for the opportunity to just to commune with you in whatever storms we're facing, whatever trouble is coming up for us right now, whatever doubt, whatever disorder, whatever chaos is being stirred up in our life, whether that's in something happening internally or that's something happening externally.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: God, I just pray that you help us remember that we are your children.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: I ask you to cover us in protection.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: I ask you to cover us in your loving and kind and merciful and just tender care.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_02: I ask you to be gentle with us today, God, because I think for a lot of us, we're feeling kind of beat up.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: We're feeling battered and bruised and kind of tossed about by the storms of life.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_02: And so just please be gentle.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: Show us how much you love us.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_02: Show us your kindness.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: So show us your grace, show us your mercy, and help us to also be more bold and confident and courageous in our faith and to step out of the proverbial boats and to meet you and to keep our eyes fixed on you and to take this lesson today and really apply it to our personal lives and first and foremost to our relationship with you and then also to our relationships with other people, personally and professionally, and help us to really grow and to steward the assets that you give us as leaders, as entrepreneurs, as business owners, and help us to really move forward with a lot of faith.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_02: And I pray all this in your son, she's name.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: I want to really start by setting the scene here.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: And just as a little bit of context, we talked about this at church Sunday, and our deacon actually ended up giving the holiday.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: And he is a phenomenal speaker.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like all of our clergy are incredible.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_02: And anytime that we see him, quote unquote, take the mic, I get really excited because the way that he teaches is just so amazing.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm taking some of what he shared in that lesson and further tying it to James chapter one, where God really led me yesterday as I was thinking about this.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: So I want to set the scene for y'all, okay?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: The disciples, all right, they are in a boat on the Sea of Galilee.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_02: And what has just happened is for the last day they have been with Jesus as he has been healing and ministering to the people who are following him.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: And closer to the end of that day, people are starting to get hungry.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: And so the disciples come to him and say, Hey, Jesus, we need to let everybody go because they need to go find a nearby city and get food.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: And Jesus asks them, What do you have?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: And he says, We have five loaves and two fishes.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: And as they hand those over, he uses those fish and those loaves to feed 5,000 people.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not just 5,000 people, that's just 5,000 men.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: There are women and children there as well.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_02: So it's probably closer by historical estimates to 10,000.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: They all get fed.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: And then Jesus says something very important here.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_02: He immediately, immediately tells the disciples to go get in the boat and cross the Sea of Galilee.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: And he stays behind and immediately sends everyone away.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: Now, the reason that this is important is because what has happened just before this miracle of Jesus feeding the 5,000 is that John the Baptist has died.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_02: And John the Baptist was the first beyond Mary, right?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: John the Baptist is the first to recognize Jesus' divinity.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_02: So Mary's relative Elizabeth is pregnant with John the Baptist after being barren for a very long time.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: Mary, newly pregnant with Jesus after agreeing to be the mother of God, goes and seeks out Elizabeth.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_02: And when they meet, John the Baptist literally leaps in his mother's womb, quickens in his mother's womb as he meets Jesus.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_02: And Elizabeth says, You're carrying my Lord, right?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_02: And so this is important because John the Baptist was the precursor.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: He is the one that let everyone know that Jesus is coming.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: Their families were connected, they had a relationship.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: So Jesus is obviously deeply grieved by this.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: And Jesus has been out on a boat for a little bit on his own.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_02: But then all of these people start following him.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't know about y'all, but losing a close friend, I typically am going to need more than an hour or two to grieve.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: But that's all Jesus gets to start.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, Jesus has an hour or two to grieve on his own.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: So he just pulls himself together and then he comes out and he starts literally healing and performing all these individual miracles and then performs this big miracle of feeding the 5,000.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: So when he sends the disciples away, he heads up to the mountain that looks over the Sea of Galilee.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: So I want y'all to understand that's where Jesus is.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_02: He is praying and he is in solitude.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_02: He's talking to God and he's praying for the disciples.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: He's probably grieving John the Baptist, the lost.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_02: So that's happening, all right?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: While this next part is happening.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_02: So we open in Matthew 14, 22.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_02: The disciples are in this boat and they are experienced fishermen.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: Remember, Simon Peter is the one who literally set down his nets, cast out his nets, and pulled up so much fish that the boat almost tipped over that his nets almost broke.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_02: And Jesus says, Come with me, and you'll be fisher amen.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: Not fishermen, you'll be fishers of men.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: And so he calls them to come be disciples.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: So these aren't guys that have never been in a boat before.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: They know what they're doing.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: And it is in the fourth watch of the night.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: The Bible specifically says they are in the fourth watch of the night.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: So that's between 3 and 6 a.m.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_02: Now here's where that's important.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: If they left in the evening and it's 3 to 6 a.m., then they have been out there for at least six hours.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_02: And that's a problem because it only takes about two, maybe three hours on a bad day to row across the Sea of Galilee.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's not that long.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_02: So they are in a storm and the wind has blown them off course.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_02: So at this point, they're probably tired.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_02: This is taking way longer than they expected to.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: The waters are really rough.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: The wind is working against them and they are exhausted.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: They're not in the motorboat.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_02: They are physically rowing.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: So they have worked at night their entire lives.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: They know what a bad storm looks like.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_02: They know when to not be scared and they know when to be scared.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: And they're scared.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_02: They're scared and they're tired.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: And so before we get into this next part, just with this setup, this is what I want to ask you whether you're listening to the podcast or you're here with me live on TikTok.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: In your life right now, is there a storm in your business andor in your professional life that you've been rowing against for longer than you expected?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_02: You thought you were going to be further along by now.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_02: You thought that the crossing would only take two hours.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_02: It has been three plus times as long as you thought that this was going to take, and you are exhausted and you're starting to get worried, not from a place of irrationality.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: You're starting to get worried from a place of like true understanding the situation.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, this should not be taking as long as it's taking.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_02: This should not be taking as long as it's taking.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_02: This should not be as difficult as it is.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: If this was just how it normally goes, it shouldn't be going like this.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: So I want to ask you as we start to talk about this, I want you to pull that up in your mind.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_02: Is there a place that in your business andor in your personal life, you are like, I have been doing this for a very long time, and I know it shouldn't be taking this long.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_02: I know it shouldn't be taking this long.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: So when we look at what Jesus is doing in this, from a contextual perspective, in the gospel it says Jesus immediately dismisses the crowd and sends the disciples on the lake.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: So this is important.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: That word immediately really matters.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: This is the only place in the entire gospel where Jesus acts immediately.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: That word doesn't get used anywhere else.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, so Jesus usually moves intentionally, slowly.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, there's a lot of places in the gospel where Jesus moves slower.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_02: The death of Lazarus and the resurrection of Lazarus is one him pausing when the woman who has been bleeding for 12 years pulls on his cloak when he's already on his way to heal somebody else.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: He takes his time.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_02: And a lot of times he takes longer than people are expecting.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: So the fact that he's moving immediately here, I think that matters.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm not going to pretend to be able to know where his brain was at.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: And we do know that Jesus emptied himself to become human.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_02: And so, as humans, when we are grieving, a lot of us entrepreneurs do this.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like we have responsibilities.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: We have people to take care of, we have things to manage.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: We have assets to steward.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: We have kids.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_02: We have families that we need to make sure we're feeding.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so we do this thing where we are going through profound grief.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: And we set that grief aside to do what God calls us to do.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: We set that grief aside.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: We set that exhaustion aside and that confusion and that frustration and all of that stuff aside to do what God calls us to do.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_02: And so at the moment that he's like, okay, everybody is taken care of.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: My job is handled.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, now I need solitude.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that this is it's such a beautiful example for us because a lot of us, what we do as entrepreneurs, we have these things happening in the background that are causing grief.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: We have these things happening in our personal lives that then we come into our professional life and we get things done, or we have things happening internally and externally, we handle everything.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_02: And then when we have the moment for solitude, when we have the moment to really feel our feelings and feel our grief and get through that, what we do is we don't do it.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_02: We don't feel our feelings, we don't allow our feelings to hit us.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: And it's, I always love the way God works because right now I'm reading St.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: Augustine's Confessions, and I'm at the part right where he has just converted.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: He's decided he believes in Jesus, he's deciding he's going to be baptized in a church.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_02: And his mother, Saint Monica, who prayed for his conversion, prayed for him to find Jesus for decades.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: She dies.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: And Saint Augustine is talking about how he puts his grief down and intentionally ensures that he is not crying and handles everything because it's so important to him that people understand that her death is not something to be mourned, it's something to be celebrated because she was a child of God, because of her faith, because of her righteousness and her holiness and her purity and her chastity and how she showed up in life.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, I want people to celebrate that she is going home.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want people to be mourning the fact that she's not here with us anymore.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: And it's his mother.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: It's his mother.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's his mother, who he loves, who has been traveling with for years, who has been praying with him for forever.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: And so he takes care of everything and then he goes to a bath and he tries to find solitude there.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: He goes off and he's like, it didn't, it doesn't, it didn't fix my grief, right?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_02: And then he goes to bed and he wakes up, and then that morning he's able to cry.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_02: He's able to feel his feelings.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_02: Once he's able to rest and to truly not distract himself, but to rest, he's able to feel his feelings, he's able to heal, he's able to grieve.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_02: And he talks about just how much he cried and how much grief he had and the complexity of that, knowing that also his mother's with God, his mother's with Jesus.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_02: And what I love actually, it makes me tear up.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: At the end of the chapter where he's describing his mother, he talks about that he's telling this story so that if there were any sins that she made, that we can pray for her, that we can pray for her so that she can be in heaven.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that's so beautiful.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: She's a saint now.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm sharing that because Jesus was also human, right?
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: And so he models for us, y'all.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_02: Then don't just shove this grief down and then just keep going.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: Don't shove the grief down and keep going.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_02: You need to feel your feelings.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_02: You need to give yourself that time in prayer with God and allow yourself to really pour your half part out to him and let him know what you're experiencing.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's very important.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_02: God wants us to do that.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_02: God wants us to retreat and to find solitude and to pour our hearts out to him and tell him what is hurting us and what is bothering us.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: And yes, he knows and he wants to be involved.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that is an important part to understand because he's praying, right?
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: So Jesus has been up there for several hours.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: Now, Jesus on this mountain that he's on, he's got a clear view of the lake below.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_02: So he can see that the disciples are struggling.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: He can see that the wind has blown them off course.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: He can see that there's a tough storm, but he didn't immediately go to them.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_02: Instead, he's praying and he's watching and he's waiting.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_02: And then at three o'clock in the morning, which is one of the darkest, like that's they say the darkest before the dawn, right?
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_02: Three o'clock is around the darkest part of the night.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's when he comes.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: He comes just before the dawn.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: And so the point here is that Jesus sees this storm the entire time.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_02: He's not surprised, he doesn't look out and go, like, oh my gosh, there's a storm happening.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_02: He's also not scrambling to fix it.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_02: He's watching, he's praying, he is putting first things first.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: And how many of us as entrepreneurs, we see people who are in a storm and who are struggling or who are having a hard time, and we know they're safe.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_02: We know they're safe, we know they're okay.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_02: And we know that we're not okay.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: We know they're okay, we know we're not okay, and yet we prioritize helping them and helping them get out of the storm and helping fix their things rather than feeling our own feelings, rather than making sure that we are good, that we have strengthened our connection and our faith and our resolve in God.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: That we're good before we go out and help.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's the lesson for us as leaders and entrepreneurs is that you can't save people.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_02: First of all, you can't you can't save people.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_02: Jesus isn't safe, you're right.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: But I think the other piece is like sometimes it looks like people need saving when they're safe.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_02: And you going and trying to fix that for them and save them instead of doing what you need, what is best for you long term, which then is best for other people long term, you're actually hurting everybody in the long term.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that's the lesson for us as humans.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: I think the one of the lessons around understanding God and Jesus here is that how many of us have been in a season where we are rowing and we are getting nowhere and we start wondering if God's forgotten about us?
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: We start wondering if God has forgotten about us.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how many of you just wonder if he's not watching, he's not listening, he's not gonna show up.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: How many of you are scared?
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: That I think is a very common feeling we can have.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: And one of the things about this story that I think just like strengthens and blesses me so much is that if I'm still here and I'm still breathing and I'm still able to row, like I'm safe, like God is always keeping me safe, even when it feels really scary, even when things feel dangerous, even when things feel out of my control, even when like the wind is howling and like there's a huge storm around us.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: If I'm here and I've got breath in my lungs and I can pray and I can rejoice and I can worship and I can go to God in prayer and supplication, then guess what?
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'm safe.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm safe until I'm not.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: He sees us, he sees us from the mountain, he's coming.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: He's got us the entire time.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_02: And one of the things that I have been learning about recently is that a lot of times these these times of spiritual dryness, where we are praying and we are talking to God and we are it's from a place of maturity.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's not from this place that God, if you just do this for me, like I'll do this for you.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: It's we're not doing quid pro quo.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_02: We're not trying to manipulate God, we're not treating him like a vending machine, we're not rubbing the genie lamp and trying to get him to do things.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_02: We're coming to him with respect and with reverence and with gratitude and appreciation and love and like we're actually honoring who God is.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: And we are fully surrendered from this place of like, hey, God, your will, not mine.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I want this to go the way you want it to go.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: I want what you want.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: When we are talking to God from that place, and he is quiet.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: I think a lot of times if you haven't experienced this before, it is different than when you are new to your faith and you're still learning what God sounds like, and you're still learning how to connect with him, you're still learning how to be in relationship with him, you're still learning who God is, you're still learning who Jesus is, you're still learning who the Holy Spirit is.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't please don't hear what I'm not saying.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not sitting here saying that there's a point that we get to as Christians where we're like, oh, I get it.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_02: I know exactly who God is, I know exactly who Jesus is, I know exactly who the Holy Spirit is.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_02: No, that is very prideful.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_02: That's not what I'm saying.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: What I am saying is that at the beginning of our journey, a lot of times as Christians, and I think that this is there's a parallel to entrepreneurship and to leadership.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_02: We are very immature or naive, that would be the word to use, because we truly don't understand.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_02: We don't know what we don't know.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_02: And so We I can think back to times when I was a quote unquote baby Christian, where I was like, I don't understand why God's not doing this.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: I don't understand why God is doing this.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: I don't understand why it's taking six hours when it should take two.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't know how long it was actually supposed to take.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_02: I just thought it was supposed to take two.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: In reality, it was supposed to take 12, and I had no idea.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_02: In reality, I didn't have the experience and the wisdom to be able to say how long this should take or not take.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: That is a different situation than what Peter and the other disciples are in this moment.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_02: And it's it might be a different situation than the situation you're in this moment if this is resonating with you.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_02: You have enough experience to understand that what is happening is not normal.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like from a worldly perspective.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: You have enough experience, expertise.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: I always think of the old farmer or what is it, state farm insurance.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_02: State farm?
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_02: No, farmers insurance.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_02: That's a close.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_02: The farmers insurance commercials where they say we know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: That's this.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: My husband and I have recently been in a business situation where we are looking at our situation and going, This is absolutely spiritual.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: And the spiritual dryness where a lot of times you're not hearing God, he's quiet, and you know he's got you.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_02: You know he's on the mountain, you know he's praying.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: You know that because you know the stories, you know all those things.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: And you've been rowing for six hours, it should have taken two, and you can't get there.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_02: And it's a different sort of moment with God where you're going, God, I know you're there.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: I know you've got me.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_02: And also, I'm scared.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_02: Also, I'm scared.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_02: Also, I don't know what's happening.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: Because based on all of my human wisdom and my maturity to this point, this is not the way it should be going.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: And so I've got to lean even stronger on you.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: I've got to go even deeper into my faith here with you.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: I've got to really trust that this is happening for a reason.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_02: I've got to understand that this is for my sanctification, or maybe this has nothing to do with me.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe you're putting me through this so that other people can watch it and they can see it and they can be like, wow, okay, she still believes in Jesus after all of this.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_02: Who is this guy?
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: She loves God more after going through these tough things.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: Who is this God?
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_02: She feels the Holy Spirit in her heart more than she ever has before.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: Who is this spirit?
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: She has more peace and more joy and more gentleness and more kindness and more self-control and more patience and more faithfulness than before she went through these tough things.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: Who is this Jesus that she loves?
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: Who is this God?
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to speak to the spiritual dryness because it's not less painful, y'all.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, I think that at times it's even more painful.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_02: Because when you're in a storm like this, that is external, it's not something you've created, right?
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_02: When you are rowing for six hours and you know it should have only taken two, you know this is God's doing.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_02: You know He's working something out.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_02: So you know your suffering is for a reason.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_02: You know your suffering is leading to sanctification.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_02: And it's almost more painful because you understand, like, okay, there is nobody to blame here.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: There's nobody to get mad at.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: This isn't a situation where I'm gonna figure out what the problem is and again be able to fix it.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm also understanding that God put me in this storm for a reason.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not praying for him to take me out of this storm, I'm praying for him to come to me in this storm, which is what the disciples learn in this scenario.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: So he's here and he's got you, and you can't feel him, you can't sense him.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's so loud, it's so windy, the waves are so strong, you're getting tossed about every direction.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_02: You know he's there, and it's so hard to sense him, and it's painful.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: So at this point, this is when Jesus comes walking on the water.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: Now, here's a really critical part storms happen, and we can be scared of the storm and also trust God, right?
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: But the disciples lose this.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: The disciples lose that faith in a couple places here, and this is how we know when he starts walking on the water to them, they think he's a ghost.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_02: They think he's a ghost, and they get terrified and they cry out in fear.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: So they're at the point that they're exhausted, they're confused, they're scared, and then something unexpected happens.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_02: Something unexpected happens, and they're now at the point that they are dysregulated, they're now at the point that they are confused, that they're tired, that they're worn out.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where the enemy gets them.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: This is where Satan comes in.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: They can't recognize Jesus.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_02: Their first thought when they see somebody walking on the water is not, oh, you know who this must be?
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_02: This must be the man that was on the mountain that we know can see us.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_02: This must be him.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: Because we know he performs miracles.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: We just watched him feed 10,000 people with a meal that wouldn't feed a family of four.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_02: So, of all the most likely scenarios, it's probably him.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_02: Because we know how miraculously he is.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_02: But that's not where their brains go.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: Their brains go, this is something that's here to harm us.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: So the very thing they're praying for, the very thing they're hoping for, the very thing they're wishing for, the literal person who can come and get them out of the scenario when he shows up, they react out of terror.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_02: But here's another reason and added to the multitude of why I think Jesus is just so incredible.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_02: He says, Take heart, it is I, do not be afraid.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_02: Now, again, a little bit of etymology here.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_02: The context of the word that gets used in Greek here, I'm not gonna say this correctly, all right, is no or ego, I me.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_02: So e-g-o space, e-i-m-i.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_02: That is the Greek for I am.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: So he's saying, take heart.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, don't be scared.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be afraid.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_02: I am now that is the one thing that he can say to these men to tell them exactly who he is.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_02: He's making a declaration of who has shown up.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's the same I am, it's the same phrase, it's the same identity that God used when Moses asked when God appears in the burning bush, and Moses asks, What is your name?
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_02: What do I call you?
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_02: And he says, I am.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: So he knows that will tell the disciples immediately, hey, it's me.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's me.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_02: What I want you to sit with is oftentimes when God leads us into a storm that is for our sanctification, when he puts us into a situation that lasts longer than we want it to, that's darker than we expect it to be, that is more exhausting, that it requires so much more of us than we ever thought we were gonna need to put into it.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: When he does that, and we don't remember who he is, when we don't remember who he is, we can make the storm worse.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: We can make the storm worse because we don't recognize him when he shows up.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: We see the answer to our problem as a problem.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_02: So a lot of times when we are in a moment like this, God will show up and he will show up in unexpected form.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_02: So he'll show up as a door that opens in a direction you don't plan.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_02: He'll show up as a resource or an asset that comes through a person that we underestimated.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_02: He will show up with an opportunity that looks nothing like what you imagined.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: And instead of recognizing it, you're gonna panic and you're gonna call it a ghost.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: And you're gonna make the storm worse with your own fear.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: I've done this.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: Have you done this?
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_02: When's the last time something unexpected happened in your business and you took it as a ghost?
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe you had a contract fall through.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe you had a team member who left.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe you had a launch that didn't go the way that you expected it to go.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_02: And you were sure.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_02: You were like, oh, you know what?
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: This person on my team, this is what's gonna get us across the sea.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_02: This contract that I'm about to negotiate, or that I'm negotiating that I'm about to sign, this is what's gonna save us.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_02: This is what's gonna help us get to the other side.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, this launch that I'm doing, this is what's gonna make it so that.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_02: And you're like, all right, no, this is good.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I think I've figured the way out.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_02: I think that, yeah, I'm exhausted and yeah, I'm tired, but I think this thing is gonna get me through.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_02: And then it doesn't go the way you expect it to.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_02: And you're like, oh my goodness, and you start freaking out.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_02: But you were fun, you were fine with the sanctification process when it was taking three times as long as you thought it was.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_02: But as soon as that unexpected thing happened, as soon as that that quote unquote ghost pops up, you lose your cool.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now, it might have been an extra layer to the storm, but actually might be the answer.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_02: And we don't know if we can't stay curious, we don't know if we don't stay regulated.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_02: And when I say regulated, you know, a lot of y'all know I've taught nervous system regulation and trauma recovery for the better part of a decade and studied it for time before that.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_02: When I say regulation here, I mean the ability to understand when something is dangerous or not, the ability to accurately assess and appropriately respond to stimuli as they come in.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_02: So these unexpected occurrences, these are stimuli.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_02: And if you are viewing things that are actually sent to you for support, for help, and you are viewing them as problems, you are viewing them as setbacks, you are viewing them as you know, the enemy.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_02: And if the enemy's like, I didn't have anything to do with that.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_02: That was God.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_02: He removed that person from your life.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_02: He let that relationship fall apart.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: He blocked that contract, he did that for your good, by the way.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_02: For your good, and you're seeing it as a ghost.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_02: This is where I want to bring in James 1, 6, because this is where God led me after we had that sermon on Sunday.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yesterday morning, just clear as day.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_02: I saw James chapter 1 come in to my brain.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna read this to y'all.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_02: This is the passage, James chapter 1, verses 2 through 8.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_02: Count in all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_02: And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_02: If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_02: But let him ask in faith, with no doubting.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_02: For the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_02: Did you hear that?
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_02: The one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_02: For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_02: He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is why this is important.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_00: The person who doubts is like the wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the wind is what's making the storm.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: The wind is what's making the storm.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: The wind is real.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_00: All right, but the doubt that we add to it can make it worse.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_02: When doubt drives us, the storm stops being out here and it starts being in here.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_02: So it doesn't matter if things calm down out here.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't matter if this is from God, from the enemy, if it is for our sanctification, if it's for our tempting, it doesn't matter what the reasoning is out here because we internally have decided to move from a spirit of fear.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_02: We've decided to move from a spirit of fear.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: We have become dysregulated.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_02: We can no longer accurately assess and appropriately respond to what's happening out here because in here we're not good.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_02: That is being double-minded.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_02: As believers, as children of God, as Christians, okay.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_02: If you believe Jesus is your Lord and Savior, and you also believe that you are not safe in situations like the one that the disciples were in the boat, if you don't believe God's got you, you're double-might.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_02: And this is tough, all right?
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_02: Because this is where God has been working on me so much, and I'm not there yet, y'all.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: You're double-minded.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_02: If when things happen, you decide that they are bad, you decide that God's not bigger than the situation, you decide that God's not coming to save you, you decide that God hasn't orchestrated all of this to be used for your good.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_02: You don't count it all joy.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_02: You don't count it all joy, your trials and tribulations, and you don't understand that God is sanctifying you, and you don't understand that he's producing steadfast in you.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_02: Steadfastness, steadfastness, faithfulness is a fruit of the spirit.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_02: So God is actually strengthening you in these moments where he's like, Hey, I'm right here.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_02: It's me.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_02: I am.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_02: I've been watching you the entire time.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_02: I knew this storm was gonna happen.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_00: I let the storm happen, I even orchestrated the storm, potentially, okay.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: So now we're at the point where the disciples are like, Oh, phew, it's Jesus.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, and Peter, yeah.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_02: I love Peter.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_02: I I resonate with Peter a lot.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_02: Peter's impulsive, you know, same guy who cut off the soldier's ear, same guy who says things, and and and John's like, get behind me, Satan.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like, Peter, what are you saying?
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_02: He's impulsive.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_02: He runs his mouth.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_02: He says, Lord, if it's you, command me to come onto the water.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_02: Now, here's what I love here.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_02: Lord, if it's you, he just literally said, I am.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_00: What do you mean if it's you?
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_00: Notice there's still some doubt there.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: There's still some double-mindedness.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_00: This might be a trick.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_00: Lord, if it's you, command me to come to you on the water.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I love this.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_02: Jesus says, Come.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_02: Jesus doesn't get mad at him.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_02: He knows who he knows who Peter is.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_02: He understands doubt.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_02: He understands fear.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_00: He understands dysregulation.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_00: He says, Come here, come on.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, let's go.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_00: So Peter gets out of the boat.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_02: And for several steps, Peter is walking on the water like he's doing it, y'all.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_02: And then he sees the wind, he hears it, he takes his eyes off Jesus and he begins to save.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_02: And he cries out, Lord, save me.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_02: And Jesus reaches out immediately, right away.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_02: He doesn't let him wait.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_02: He doesn't let him get all the way down.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_02: And he says, You of little faith.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_02: Why did you doubt?
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_02: Now there's two words here that I want y'all to catch.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_02: The word for little faith in Greek is oligopistos.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_00: Olegopistos.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_02: Most people hear you have little faith, and they think that it means small.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like, oh, Peter doesn't have a lot of faith.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_02: That is one way to interpret it.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_02: But I want to give you a different way to interpret it that I heard a few years ago, and this has just totally changed my understanding of how faith works.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_02: And it it connects it with so many other pieces of gospel and scripture, including James, chapter one.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus is more likely saying that Peter's faith was not long enough in duration.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: Was that long enough in duration?
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_00: He wasn't saying he didn't have enough of it.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, Peter, when you believe.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_02: When you are in on your faith, you are in.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_02: But you know what you don't have?
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_02: Steadfastness.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have steadfastness in your faith.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_02: Is this resonating with any of y'all?
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_02: Are any of y'all like, oh yeah, no?
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_02: When I have faith, it is strong.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_02: My faith is a mustard seed and it grows, right?
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's big when I have it.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_02: But what does it look like when you don't?
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_00: Can the wind send your faith flying away?
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_00: Peter didn't have a small faith, he had a short faith.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_02: He had enough faith to get out of the boat.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_02: He had enough faith to take a few steps.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_02: And then what happened?
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_02: He got distracted.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_02: He started noticing all this stuff going on around him.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_02: He got dysregulated again.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_02: He takes his eyes off of Jesus.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_02: His faith lasts 30 seconds before he's like, and I'm back to doubting.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_02: Because this is loud and it's scary and there's so much going on.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_02: The thing I love about Peter meeting Jesus out on the water is that this is not a story about not believing in him.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_02: The disciples knew who he was.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_02: They watched him feed thousands and thousands of people in a miraculous way.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_02: They watched him heal people constantly.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: They watched him cast out demons.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_00: They've seen miracles.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is a story about people's faith breaking under pressure.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_02: This is a story about our faith falling short when things don't look the way we expect, when they don't feel the way we expect, when we don't sense it the way that we think it's supposed to be.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if any of you are feeling convicted listening to this, hi, hello, me too.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_02: What I love about doing this is y'all, I have like a whole prep here.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_02: And then God goes, Yeah, okay, yeah, you're gonna say some of that.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_02: Some of this, though, is gonna come straight out from me.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_02: So I get just as convicted as I'm saying this stuff to you because I'm like, oh, I need to go pray on this when I'm done.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_02: So in case any of y'all are like, oh my gosh, wait, yeah, same.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm having the same experience.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_00: This word oligopistos in Matthew's gospel describes sincere followers of Jesus.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_00: He's describing people who are genuinely trying to follow Jesus.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_02: Their faith is real, it is tangible, and it is fragile when they are scared.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_02: It is fragile in the moments where they fear for their lives or their livelihoods, or they fear for the consequences.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_02: They fear for what comes next, they fear for the future.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_02: And here's the beautiful part that fear shows you care.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_02: That fear shows that your heart is in a posture of tearing.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_02: Because a lot of times the things that cause your faith to waver, you're worried about feeding your family.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_02: You're worried about paying your team.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_02: You're worried about like maintaining the responsibilities that you have taken on.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_00: You're not scared that you're gonna get hurt.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, maybe that's part of it.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_02: But more so, you're afraid that you're not gonna be able to get out of this and to be able to do what it is that you feel like you're called to do.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_02: Like, as leaders and entrepreneurs, this is what I see more than anything.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like, y'all have worked through the fear of something you are willing to sacrifice yourself, you are willing to die on the hill for your faith a lot of the time.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_02: You're afraid of what happens after.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_02: You're afraid of what doesn't get done, you're afraid of what doesn't get to come to fruition if you don't.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_00: If I don't make it over to the other side of the lake, these bad things happen.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_00: There's one other piece that I want y'all to just understand too.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_02: Peter getting out of the boat in the first place was huge.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_02: They are still in the middle of the sea.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, they've been blown off course and they are still in the middle of the sea, like they're not near the edge.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_02: The Sea of Galilee was so deep.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_00: They called it an abyss.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_02: It was so deep that to humans, it was like if something falls over the side and drops down, like you will never find it again.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_02: So Peter getting out and walking on that water, like that is a huge the fact that he just doesn't.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_02: He just it doesn't say that he hesitates, it doesn't say that he asks more questions.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_02: Peter actually asks Jesus to command him out.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_02: So like that faith is strong.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_02: But that wind will mess you up.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_02: That dysregulation, that worldly voice in the back of your head, the enemy figuring out where you are the most afraid of things not going the way that you need them to go, you want them to go, the enemy getting in there and being like, see, Lee, look, this is what happens.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_00: Can you really trust here?
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_02: The other word I want to pull out here is the doubt word.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, I want to pull out the doubt word.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_02: So in Greek, the word doubt is dystaseo.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_02: Dystaso.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_02: And this word is only used twice in all of the New Testament.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_02: It's used here and it's used in Matthew 28, 17 after the resurrection.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_02: This doubt does not mean intellectual questioning.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't mean curiosity.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't mean I'm just trying to ascertain before I make a move.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_02: This doubt means double-mindedness.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_02: This is exactly what James is describing in chapter 1, verse 6.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so that's where the original recording ended.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_02: But like I said at the beginning, I don't think that the story ends here.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_02: The storm didn't just interrupt the training, it interrupted my plan.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I've been really thinking a lot about interruptions lately and how in the gospel, Jesus uses interruptions as the point.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like when you look at where Jesus was going, a lot of times the destination itself wasn't the important part.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_02: And he performed so many of his miracles on the way to doing something else.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_02: And so this interruption really led me to look at all of the things that I used to avoid writing the way that God had been calling me to, the way that and the avoidance of reflection that I was doing.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_02: And so when I finally sat still enough to pray, God showed me where I was being double-minded.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_02: He showed me where I was trying to like keep my eyes on Jesus while also paying attention to the wind.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I was asking him to tell me how everything would turn out and leaning on a vision that he had given me over 18 months ago before moving in the direction that he had already showed me he wanted me to move.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's what we're going to talk about in part two.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm going to take you through what happened after that live, the dark room, the prayer, the journals, and then the clearing that God created and all of the lessons that have happened since.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_02: And in there, we're going to share the new thing that we've been building, the high responsibility humans offer.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_02: So if you're somebody who is a leader and a Christian and you're carrying a lot of responsibility for your team, your clients, your patients, your business, family, ministry, all of the above, this is for you.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_02: I'm inviting you to make sure that you're subscribed to CEO Kingdom Seekers so that it's going to land right in your podcast feed.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_02: And if you want to be a part of our live weekly trainings, make sure you're following on TikTok as well.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_02: So I will see y'all in part two.