Latest / DA CREW Podcast / DA CREW PODCASTSEASON 1| EPISODE #31 HOST PAMELA J HAYES-LIGGINS |(SHOW#1)

Transcript

DA CREW PODCASTSEASON 1| EPISODE #31 HOST PAMELA J HAYES-LIGGINS |(SHOW#1) · DA CREW Podcast

0:22
M m. Hey everyone, it's your girl, the OBG. Don't forget
0:40
to stop Part one April twentieth, Thursday, for our first show Live Won
0:45
to Cool podcast, The War Magazine, Me and Lady t Our first death
0:50
is Morfado and also we will be talking about my Ladies book. I am
0:55
not to find my my ass. So come on, we are alive.
1:02
What's going on? Yeah? How you say so strongly? Hire? We
1:11
gonna make it a justice systems? Are we gonna make it with the victors?
1:15
We gonna have I had the guilty Body's what we're trying to do is
1:19
do we gonna make it to the justice systems? Can you? We gonna
1:25
make it what it is? Hey, everybody's sorry for the technical difficulties,
2:09
but it's me the OBG, and I'm waiting for my girl Lady t to
2:13
get in the studio as well. We are here live on the Wall and
2:17
hey t o o the War. Yes, yes, yes, yes yes.
2:30
Unfortunately Will Fraido could not be with us on this particular arm show,
2:37
so he'll be a guest on the next time. But we still got a
2:39
show. We still got a shot, absolutely got a show. Even high
2:44
perture show. We see some people coming in. Thank you everybody for coming
2:46
in. Hello, um, thank you live on the show. This is
2:51
my girl, lady T. We do this, this is this is nothing
2:55
new to us. But I am the obg Orf, the pamlther Ja and
3:00
please intutrace yourself my host, Lady T. What's going on? Guys?
3:05
This is the war like it started as a magazine and now you we live,
3:12
Yes, we live. Grow is happening? Okay? So God,
3:21
I'm sorry. Go well Frado's not here. Guess what I'm gonna be doing.
3:27
What you're gonna be doing. I'm gonna let the people get to know
3:30
the OBJ a little bit better. So I want to definitely, first off,
3:38
this song behind the wall or what's the what's it called? Because the
3:45
war? The war anthem? Okay, and the war anthem? It's fire?
3:51
Who wrote it? Where you come up from? Where it comes from?
3:53
Oh? It comes from y'all. Now other than substance substances. She
4:02
does all my stuff. She did the war. I said, listen,
4:05
I need something hot fire about the war. People living behind, you know,
4:10
the community behind the war. I told her what I wanted. She
4:14
came up with this justice the guilt is what we're trying to do is we
4:27
don't sing into the justice stuff it with innocence, had the guilty party because
4:35
we wanted that's what. Because this fire, I'm hearing, I'm hearing.
4:41
I'm hearing there maybe a video in the work was posing with that. We
4:46
love fire. I mean that's fire will do because it's fire. It's fire.
4:53
It definitely is. And I know the visionary the OBG hasn't all mapped
4:59
out. We're gonna bring the wall to life. Yeah anthem, yeah,
5:04
war anthems. I love it. It is fire. So first off the
5:12
wall. Okay, So what's the war? Okay? The war is actually
5:18
a platform for people that's incarcerated, for them and their families to have a
5:23
platform so they can talk about what goes on. It's a community. People
5:27
don't want to realize, but it is a community. It's a forgotten community.
5:30
And people that are incarcerated they've made mistakes, whatever it is, but
5:34
they still are mothers and fathers and uncles and brothers and sisters. And when
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somebody in your family, your media family or extended family goes to prison,
5:46
everybody is in prison. Because now it's centered around the war, like birthdays,
5:53
Christmas is holidays, you're going up to the jail wherever they have to
5:56
try to spend time with them and keep them as normal as possible because it
6:00
plays with their psyche and also it hurts the family. So we're giving people
6:04
a platform to say, look, I'm human, I made a mistake,
6:08
but this is what goes on. Like you know, they got a whole
6:11
bunch of illegal stuff that go behind go on behind the wars in jail two,
6:15
and they just want to bring light to what goes on how they deal
6:18
with. Yeah, the positive stuff, but I think every other than that,
6:23
that's really what the war is. And also it gives the family,
6:27
like the wives or the husbands or the house, the kids a chance to
6:32
write and tell what they're feeling, what their emotions is, how they missed
6:36
their parents, how they missed it, you know, what's going on with
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them too. So you're giving the family and the incarcerated individuals of voice.
6:46
Correct. All right, that's what's up. And who would have found us?
6:49
Who founded the wall? Uh? Corey Liggoands aka Spain face. So
6:57
my husband and myself, Pamela Ligands will excuse me, look at that creating
7:02
family generational wealth. Hey, black diamond. Welcome, thank you for stopping
7:09
buying checking us out, Yes, thank you. So what I wanted to
7:14
know next? Right? So, what else is on the agenda for the
7:18
war because the Wolf, I mean it has spun out of control? Okay,
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the three issues of the magazine where we now we're live and we're gonna
7:30
be live every third Thursday to bring that voice to the people. You know,
7:38
what's what's what's next on the agenda? Or before before you tell me
7:42
what's next, let's tell the people what the war has done so far.
7:46
The Wolf has done some amazing things. Or rather, the women of the
7:51
War, well, yes, the warm We have a support system that came
7:57
out the wall called the Women of the War, which is me and other
8:00
women that go to the facilities every month, every week to see their loved
8:05
ones. The Women of the War is basically a support system because it's hard.
8:09
This this this life, this prison wife life. It is a hard
8:13
thing and you cry and you hurt and everything like that. So it's a
8:16
support system. One. Two. We try to help anybody that is transitioning
8:22
back into the world. We are trying to be there to help them no
8:26
matter what it is. If it's you know they need clothes, if they
8:28
need like, um, how to you know, how to use a cell
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phone. We are there to help them. We are that support system.
8:35
We try to bridge the gap for them to have a smooth transition back into
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society. In September, mister Anthony Blanks, he was have had served forty
8:46
he said, forty six years behind prison wars forty years. He never been
8:54
out, He never did anything. They kept hitting him at the board,
8:58
hitting him at the board, hitting at the or so he okay, you
9:01
need to speak English for us who don't know what the board is. He
9:07
he was in jail for twenty five to life. Thank you Lisa and Lisa.
9:13
He just in there for twenty five to life. After twenty five years
9:16
they go up to parole. When they go to the parole board, they
9:20
try to give them information on how good they're doing, you know, as
9:24
they stay it out of trouble. They didn't get any tickets. And then
9:26
the parole board says yeah, yeah, nay you yes, you're going out
9:28
on parole to try to make it back in society, or no, you're
9:31
going back on the inside because you need some more rehabilitation. Fortunately, mister
9:37
Blanks was denied parole for forty six years in August twenty forty sixty. Okay,
9:46
I'm you know, I'm trying to get to understand. So is it
9:50
forty six years he was denied parole or after the twenty five or I'm sorry,
9:56
after the twenty five every time he went up to the parole board he
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was or not? Now do they do that annually? Or is there ideal
10:05
how I'm famous? I know every time he went now a court. Okay,
10:09
So this man had been locked up longer than my husband before my husband
10:15
was even born. Me too, Yeah, you too. I was six
10:20
years old when he was in Wow. So um, my husband was like,
10:26
listen, he's about to go up for parole. So the women of
10:31
the wall, me and my other, my other support system to the show
10:35
West excuse me, Jolie russ Um, oh my god, calming Tammy,
10:43
my mom and um it's I forgot um um Lisa. It was it was
10:52
about six or seven. I'm almost ten of us. I can't remember all
10:54
the names off here. I'm fired everybody. I forgot him. Sorry.
10:58
We loved she loved you dearly. She loved you dearly. No I do
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um. We started a prayer visual and Angela. She showed Angela Thomas and
11:07
if she was on that prayer visual with me too. We did it.
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We did it from September to November the thirtieth. We prayed every morning at
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Friday, and we prayed Pacific specifically for the incarcerated individuals. People that I
11:22
was going up to the board, the new four or forty Lord that's coming
11:24
out. We was praying. Mister Blanks always was like, oh, preces.
11:28
So we started praying. After we started playing, I said, God
11:33
is gonna do something amazing. They was um protesting because he supposedly allegedly killed
11:41
a large police officer, a Caucasian police officer. I mean protesting. It
11:48
was on the news, it was on ABC, NBC. I mean he
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was all over the place. Oh he's and he's now seventy years old.
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So this is who we're talking about now, older Generalana. I'm a whole
12:00
all of this hoop. While we praying, we praying, we praying.
12:01
September, he was granted parole. He came back into th thing once to
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my husband was like, tell your wife, she is amazing. I said,
12:11
no, it ain't me, it's God. I'm just I'm just the
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truth. But we all were praying and it was God. So he came
12:16
home on September of the eighteenth. We made sure we picked him up.
12:20
We got him, we took up donations, We got him three thousand dollars.
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We got him closed because he had nothing, He had no family.
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All his family is deceased. So we made sure we got him to where
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he needed to be. He was in a halfway house. I can't mention
12:33
it because he's a high profile case. Um, they were protesting and stuff.
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We was like the mar We came in deep, like we was doing
12:41
something. I had no guys are not and I just wanted to make sure
12:43
he was safe. You had the biggest gun, You had God on your
12:48
side. Okay, we had God. You're right, we had God biggest
12:52
gun. Yeah, So we got him there safely. Mister blanks Is.
12:56
He celebrated his seventieth birthday February the ninth. Unfortunately I couldn't give him a
13:01
party because I got ill. But the rest of the ladies they did give
13:05
him a party. We do take him the church. We stay in contact.
13:09
It's not like we just all thrown him away. The women of the
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war bridged the gap, and we're gonna make sure we um, we make
13:18
sure everybody, because he's getting depressed now, but we talk to him every
13:22
day. What does it say. It's something that she says, Hello,
13:24
queens, I've been in prison. I support anybody trying to make the difference
13:30
and to be and to be the change. Keep up the good work.
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Always here in my prayers as well as those in Carson Ready, thank you
13:37
or the Lisa Hopkins. We appreciate you listening, watching, supporting, because
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we're here to fight for everything. Yes, yes, so mister b he
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calls me. I took him the church to Mount Vernon Greater Centennial Church.
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He seems he classes here, he prays with his Bible. He's an amazing
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individual and we're gonna have him live one of these shows so you guys can
14:05
meet him and he can tell you his story because he's an amazing, amazing
14:07
gentleman. And unfortunately all his family is deceased. All is so he adopted
14:13
family. Blood doesn't make you disamily. Got a whole new fair look hot.
14:20
That's like, so we I make sure mister Blanks is good, you
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know. Um, we made sure he got um Tunicia West is in charge
14:30
of our community affairs where if you know, she helped him get his food
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stamps, like all of his social services and all of that stuff. Assessor
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because he's an older gentleman. Because they the place that placed him, put
14:43
him on the train. The next day, he called me frantic, out
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of his mind. I was out of my mind screaming and yelling get him
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because I was at work. But they did go get him and made sure
14:54
he was safely home. Of course, your girl went in there like a
14:58
bulldog, a fool and cursed them all. Allow so that never happens again,
15:01
because I told them, I mean, come on, that's really foolish.
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He even locked up for forty six years. The training system is a
15:11
whole of the I am free, and I can't mess with the training system.
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Okay, so you can only imagine what the senior citizen. He's not.
15:20
It's not just a person. Yeah, he's seventy two. Like that
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alone is scary. And then after forty six years, right, you kind
15:31
of it becomes unfortunately, it becomes your home. So outside and being free
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is scary. So it is so amazing that the women of the war work
15:43
to get individuals acclimated to their new life, because that's what it is.
15:46
This is the new chapter, this is it's starting all over. So you
15:52
mentioned something called four forty. Yes, that's a new law that they're putting
15:58
on the books that um that states if someone was incarcerated at the age,
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especially men at the age of eighteen, their frontal lobe is not developed fully
16:10
yet, so they are not um developed fully enough to advisions. That's number
16:18
one. Also, it's for resentencing. So they catch our men at eighteen
16:23
to nine, they want to put them in there because this is my to
16:26
day savory, but the four forty rules says no, if we do,
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if they are able to determine like they had trauma, and a lot of
16:37
them did have trauma and whatever's going on, they go up to the board
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and they go back to to the judge and they go for resentencing, so
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it reduces their sentencing. Like my husband is up for the four forty rule.
16:49
And really that exciting exciting even the word but God, but God,
16:56
but it's o and oh it's in New York. I don't know if it's
17:00
what the rule is called for anywhere else. But the next time we come
17:04
on, I will have that information whatever. If there's at any state that
17:08
you are in particular he wants to want us to try to figure out for
17:14
you guys, I will um okay, So that's it's only an I don't
17:22
even know about New York. I don't know anywhere else. I'm sorry because
17:26
my husband is in New York State. I live in New York, so
17:29
I'm kind of familiar with all of those lords and rules. But definitely,
17:33
if you guys email me or hit us up on a website, we will
17:36
try to We definitely will try to get the information back to you or the
17:40
next rule and or email you. So that's fine. Problem that particular rule.
17:45
My husband is going up for his defense team is so excited because they're
17:49
like, he should be home by Christmas and by God's grace, I know,
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I'm gonna do a dance because he will be home. But I'm gonna
17:56
do a dance too for my big brote your website. My website is the
18:02
War Magazine or one word dot org. And you find out all one more
18:07
time slowly the War Magazine dot org. Day. Make sure everybody get the
18:15
word out because I'm seeing so many messages. We need more women in the
18:19
war, and I absolutely agree. From Aspiring Authors Magazine, I absolutely absolutely
18:27
agree. The more our voices, Yes, we have a voice when we're
18:33
one, but when we're many, we're heard. So the more women,
18:40
the more it doesn't need, not just women. The more individuals who join
18:45
this movement will allow a lot of because granted, yes, a lot of
18:51
people do deserve to be in there, but I mean, I know so
18:52
many people. Jimmy Dennis, he he was incarcerated for no reason for like
19:00
death row. Put that on us. He was on death row and he
19:06
did not commit the crime, did not commit it whatsoever, you know,
19:11
And he's he's free now because he never gave up hope and he kept his
19:15
fight. But it's said his fight took him took away like twenty five to
19:21
thirty years of his life. And he was a teenager when he got locked
19:26
up in accused of what he was accused of. So if we had this
19:32
voice twenty five years ago, if people make you so scared or they want
19:36
to keep ignoring, you can't ignore our people. And I don't care if
19:41
you're black, white, or purple. If you didn't commit the crime,
19:44
you don't belong in there. You don't. Don't you know what I mean?
19:47
But also no over sentencing either, like the sentencing it's like, this
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is modern day slavery. This is a plantation. This is what it is.
19:56
And jail is a big business. It's a billion dollars in just they're
20:00
over. But they're only over sentencing us the brown people exactly exactly because I
20:07
know that I know Caucasians who have committed the same crime as an African American,
20:12
right, and the African American got fifteen to life and the Caucasian got
20:21
three to five with eli eligibility of parole after two years. So how is
20:26
that? Right? Is seventy years for something that carry a one year sentence?
20:34
See that that doesn't make sense. It happens all the way around,
20:38
it does. It does, and people always want to like sweeper under the
20:42
rug or the only time politicians like Governor Hall wool As in New York City
20:48
they challenged her and was like, you gotta sign more clemency. So she
20:52
said on TV recently that every month she's gonna sign at least five the same
20:57
clemencies to get them out. Where she did it, it was with RAP
21:00
which is another advocacy group that I that the war they want the women of
21:06
the war to like partner up with but I'm we're not doing that. That's
21:10
a whole nother show. But that particular um um Afvacy group challenged her and
21:17
they pushed her. And thank god, Jolie, who is one of the
21:21
women of the war, I'm about to bring that up clemency for her.
21:27
Oh my god, he got clemency and I was so excited. I swear
21:33
I was so she called me. She was like, yamlah, he got
21:34
it. And he's been fighting, fighting to get clemency for the last seventeen
21:40
years. Jolie at each other during the pandemic um we were online waiting to
21:47
see our husbands in the cold before they closed the jail down for the pandemic
21:52
COVID twenty twenty twenty. She happened to walk up to me and was like
22:00
yeah. She was like, are you Pamela, And I was like yeah.
22:04
She was like, oh, um, you know my husband And because
22:10
my first issue of the war, my husband is actually on the cover and
22:14
he's doing it like a secret. And Jolie, I'm brown, she's Caucasian,
22:18
but she's still a sweetheart. Has nothing to do with that. She
22:22
was like, she was like, I'm not with the ships. I said,
22:25
what do you think? She said, he looked like y'all husband throwing
22:27
up gang signs. I said, first and foremost, sweetie, I'm not
22:32
with the ship's either. I look young, but I'm not, I said,
22:36
I am. I was like fifty something years old then, but um
22:41
she was. I explained to her what the war was about, and we've
22:44
been good ever since. She's a powerful advocate in Albany. She um,
22:48
we I know the women of the war in the War magazine is gonna get
22:52
more back, really get into the government and get into the advocate and for
22:56
these people going to the rallies and and for now on this is our first
23:00
show. But by next month where we come on, we're gonna have Harstag
23:06
free spank pay So m I mean free Corty League is aka spank pay So
23:10
all over until he comes home, because he is next to go to court,
23:14
and we're gonna keep it in prayer that he is coming home. I
23:18
got it in prayer that my big little brother is coming home. But I
23:22
got it in my prayers that all who are wrongfully accused, yes come home
23:32
because their mothers, their children, they don't deserve it, their wives,
23:37
they don't deserve it. And then but still when they come home, right,
23:42
they're treated like, you know, like they got left exactly and that's
23:48
crazy and they need they need a bridge that would be us to help them
23:52
get back into society. Like one thing mister Blank said to me recently,
23:57
he was, like, Pamela, I was because I unfortunately, I like
24:00
I said, I took ill, but I try to keep in contact with
24:04
him because I was going to see him like once a week before I got
24:07
sick. He said, I was, I'm really thinking about getting back to
24:11
go back to jail. I'm ready to commit a crime. See, because
24:18
that's a short shank redemption. Anybody that didn't see that movie need to see
24:21
that movie to understand what it's being what is being done in prison. They've
24:26
been doing that since back then. Yeah, and you saw they cannot function
24:30
in the real world. Their reality. They're making a powerful impossible for them
24:37
to do it. That's why we're here to bridge the gap to make you
24:41
know. We also we also need to get businesses on board, businesses that
24:48
are willing to to support people who really really want to make a change.
24:53
It's seeing because getting a job. Let me tell you something, the number
24:57
one thing, and I know a lot you are already know. I know,
25:00
I know the system. Okay, they'll instantly after you get a hundred
25:06
knows that one hundred and one no break something. It breaks something within you.
25:11
And you know what, I try to be good and nobody has given
25:17
me an opportunity to know that what I did when I was a little boy
25:22
does not mean that I'm gonna do it as a grown man like you understand,
25:26
they don't even give them an opportunity And can I help you? I
25:30
mean, it has nothing to do with incarcerating because there's people that are free
25:33
that are hard workers. But they're hard workers. You're gonna give your money's
25:37
worth and then some, but you gotta give them an opportunity. You ut
25:42
to see what I'm saying, give them an opportunity and if they do anything
25:47
to break that trust, but you gotta give them a chance. You know,
25:52
everybody deserves a second chance because are you perfect or the Pamela Jay,
25:56
the OBG. Because I'm not I'm not perfect. I'm not perfect and everybody,
26:03
everybody in this world is one minute behind being behind the wall. I'm
26:08
telling your kid the wrong way. Okay, that's my mother the wrong way.
26:12
I even want to be walking down the street and be like, oh
26:15
you look like them, and take them and put you in jail. Thank
26:18
you, just thank you, oh fi aspect because you brown and then and
26:25
then and then what they'll do is finger prints you when you get there,
26:29
and then put your fingerprints at the seat of the crime exactly to ensure that
26:34
that arrest ficks exactly. Come on it. Like I said, it's Molling
26:41
Day slavery. That's all it is. That is all it is. I
26:45
think we're about to take a break. Yeah, back right after this come
26:49
out shot Angie, Yes, what's going on? Yeah? Yeah? How
27:15
Guesnay so strong? Who? We don't make it a justice system? Are
27:22
we gonna give the innocent? What do you do? Hey? This is
27:36
the Orthopaemera A Jada Ovc and Lady T. You are listening to the War
27:41
Magadee podcast on the Crew podcast, So stay tuned, this is our show.
27:47
Enjoy. Oh yeah, yeah, how guesnay so strongly? H we
27:55
gonna make it a justice system? Are we gonna give innocence? Oh?
28:02
See? You know I mean rock yo. You know that you know the
28:07
woman the wall as of his might joy and you know I love me some
28:11
substance. Oh, I'm focused, I'm back back with back. Yes.
28:19
So we were talking about the Wall and different things that we have done.
28:23
Um, what else you want to know? Well, because you did mention
28:29
this a couple of times and then we will go back to the wall.
28:33
But you mentioned you you you took ill and it prevented you from being the
28:40
extra advocate, so you was more of a virtual advocate because prior to you
28:45
taking ill, you was in mister Blake's corner, like you know, he
28:49
was like he was what's his name, Rocky Balboa and you was his coach,
28:52
you know, you had his corner and then you took ill. So
28:56
let's let the people you know know what happened. Unfortunately, October the twenty
29:02
seven, twenty twenty two, I was diagnosed with stage when uh dci as
29:07
breast cancer. What was dcis let's doctor casinoma malect malignium breast and my last
29:18
my left breast um two tumors um. It devastated me because cancer doesn't run
29:26
in my family. So I was in deny. You for a little bit,
29:30
but I had to get surgery. I had a double up ectomy ironically
29:36
on the date that my father passed, which was a left but the twenty
29:41
ninth, but that was or where he passed. But I taped my surgery
29:45
on that day to uh three rounds of DMX chemo and then I had to
29:51
do uh twenty eight rounds of radiation. So that on you. But right
29:56
now as we speak, I and nine weeks cancer free. Yes yes so
30:07
um so OBG. She recorded her journey, so if anybody really wants to
30:15
know and understand what she went through, you go follow her. Oh I'm
30:19
sorry, she Facebook famous, you can't follow her, but you can go,
30:25
but you can go, and you know, I'm silly, but you
30:29
can go and check out her videos and her story because it's really a powerful
30:33
one. And I applaud her for basically video journaling the whole situation to let
30:40
people know, you know, you can be strong going through this, and
30:44
her strength brought her through. How did your husband take this information? Especially
30:52
like it's very difficult. It's something it's difficult when you're a partner, household,
30:59
but y'all are definitely into it is like a long distance relationship. Even
31:03
though you can go see, it's still a long How did he First of
31:07
all, it made him numb, and it made him nervous, and he
31:14
hadn't been anything right because he's been locked up the twenties seven years. So
31:22
he was like, what do you mean? And you know when you hear
31:26
cancer that said, everybody think death. Whatever. Oh. He just really
31:32
could not understand or wrapp hiss head around the whole cancer thing. And I
31:36
was trying to explain it to him. But the one thing that he made
31:40
me cry, Um, it was tears of joy because it was the weekend
31:45
before I had to go because I had my surgery on that Wednesday. So
31:48
that Sunday when I came to see him, Um, I was sitting.
31:53
You know, you go in and you sit and you wait. Oh,
31:56
my husband came out first. A couple of people came out of pink They
32:00
waved at me because they know me. But when my husband came out,
32:04
he had a Polo pink shirt and then he did like this like warrior strong,
32:07
you got this baby. But then right after him, everybody after my
32:15
husband came out with a pink shirt. He had. The whole visiting floor
32:20
had on pink shirts and they was like warrior strong. All I could do
32:25
was cry. Even some of the CEOs they were like coming up to the
32:30
table, they was making sure you know. Um. I was okay,
32:34
like listen, we need you back here, give me two seconds. OBG.
32:38
Author Lisa Hawkins. I am still praying that God blesses you with all
32:44
total complete healing. Thank you so much, Lisa, Thank you, Author
32:47
Lisa Hokas. Yes, so that's the way they did it. U.
32:52
When I left, they all was like we need to hug up. I
32:55
don't care. So it was about twenty of them up there and they're not
32:58
supposed to do that because of the security break place. I knew they wasn't
33:01
gonna hurt me, but they all hugged me and it was like we got
33:05
this. So that was his support in there and support for me as well.
33:08
Yeah, it was really a beautiful moment. Just like I said,
33:12
it's a community behind it. So when you're going every week you're standing online,
33:16
I mean you get you talk to you talk to people, you get
33:20
familiar, familiar by yourself. We all hear what you need. Or when
33:25
the CEOs are acting crazy and being bullies were badges you're like, yo,
33:30
don't do that, or we writeing letters. You gotta be strong, or
33:32
some of them scared, oh I'm not gonna do that because they're going to
33:36
retaliate. Or my husband, my husband don't give a damn. He'd be
33:38
like, listen, let them try, let them pull a pen. I'm
33:40
ready. I'd be like, no, you keep me. We need you
33:45
to come home because we always ready. You always are, You're always ready.
33:51
But I have to like keep you know, how to get him to
33:53
stay still. But that was my journey and I'm on the journey. And
33:58
I just found out too, you're not considered cancer survivor until you're five years
34:02
out. So this is a wall journey. I had to take hormost for
34:07
five years. But I know God got me, and I know I'm gonna
34:10
be fine. And all of my sisters and brothers that pray for me and
34:15
my you know, my family for the podcast and Angelo time and Snap,
34:20
all of them, thank you amen. Yes they all pray then or you
34:23
know, are there for me. And I just celebrated my fifty fifth birthday.
34:30
My fifty fifth birthday or yeah, wait, what did the picture say?
34:35
Fifty five were? So it was a. It was a monumental birthday
34:43
for me because I'm fifty five and I'm still here and I'm healthy. I'm
34:49
getting healthy, you know, as you know the cancer was it was days
34:52
where And that's why I really documented too, because I didn't pretend I was
34:59
crying one day. I can't take it, I know. They was like,
35:01
what the hell is Wrongaha? I was like I couldn't take it.
35:06
Like you know, you see these celebrities they going through cancer or breast cancer
35:10
or whatever they're going through. They have staff. Yeah, they can take
35:15
off of work. They million is they can take off. This crazy woman
35:21
worked every day through my treatment. The only days I was off was the
35:27
two days for my surgery. I went back on the third day because I
35:30
had training at the Health Department. But I worked through my surgery because I
35:36
had just started working at the Department of Education. Thank you for that happy
35:39
bad day. Everybody screened one right at one two bad Yes. So I
35:50
just wanted people to know, like, you know, you you know it's
35:55
that bad. Yeah. So it's just a lot. Um, it's a
36:05
lot. It's a lot care for. It affects and you need a support
36:08
system. People think support means money or no. It means call me,
36:15
how you doing, You need a ride to the hospital, you need gingerrell,
36:19
which you need to describe vent wherever. People say that it's it's your
36:23
don't make don't make it about them. It's about me. I'm mad at
36:28
the word. I was mad at the world. Yes I was. I
36:30
hated everybody. I was crying and screaming. I was kicking except me.
36:35
I was kidn't screaming. I was being a total bratt and the doctors was
36:38
like, let her do it, let her go through it. This is
36:42
something she has to go through. I hated everybody. Leave me alone.
36:45
I lost my hair. I had to cut my hair out. People didn't
36:49
know how to treat me with that. And I'm like, I am on
36:52
a journey. I'm sick, Like, don't you see I'm sick. It
36:55
has nothing to do like don't you ain't walk a mile in my shoes.
36:59
Do not make this disease about you. It's about me, and it's gonna
37:02
always be about me until I'm finished this journey. Like people was like,
37:07
oh, well you it's over. You know it's not over. It's emotionally
37:09
immensely. Cancer is bad anyway, but when you have breast cancer and you're
37:14
a woman, it affects your femininity, it affects your everything. Like you
37:20
already scared you're gonna die, but now you're losing a boob, you lose
37:22
your hair. You don't know how to ask, so guess what chick like
37:27
me? I was like, if I gotta be bored, make sure my
37:29
nails is flop. Okay, okay, I'm wait wait wait, wait,
37:34
show to show the people, show the tables, show the people. The
37:36
rainbow. I taste the rainbow. It's like skittles. I love them.
37:42
I love them. So you mentioned the hair loss. How the first time?
37:52
When did you notice you were losing hair? I have braids. I
37:58
woke up and rebraids was in my pillow. They clean came off my head.
38:04
Wow, from the from the scalp, from the scalp. It was
38:07
in the middle of my head, and I lost my mind. So I
38:12
said, let me take these braids out. Then I was scared, thinking
38:15
if I take them, my swally or won't just fall out. But it
38:17
didn't. So I was able to take the braids out, and I went
38:21
and cut my hair. And then when you cut it flies what devalicious.
38:27
Still, it was not change. I had to get it. I had
38:30
to get used to it because I was I've in all of my years,
38:35
I've had blonde whatever, I've cut my hair short, whatever. But this
38:39
was a cut where it was like different. It was very different. Because
38:44
I was sick. I had to cut it all the way off, like
38:46
all the way it was off and it's now it was a season. Yeah,
38:52
you had a light fade and still sexy and doing it though, Yes,
38:57
I tried to embrace it. Um did I cry year anybody? I'm
39:02
all like, I know I'm beautiful. My father God rested. So the
39:07
one thing he taught me and my sisters, when you come in the room,
39:08
you cook me in the room, and you are diva at all courts.
39:12
You are a princess, you are a queen, you everything. So
39:15
my college has always been it's year I'm here. But it's a difference when
39:22
you're sick. It's a difference when you are worried about is that and not
39:27
only that, I'm a diabetic, it's independent diabetic. So that's a whole
39:31
nother animal. So they have to make sure whatever medicine they subscribe to killer
39:36
cancer, it doesn't affect me on a diabetic end. So it was a
39:39
very hard and long journey, and I went through it. I mean,
39:44
I know, God don't give you nothing you can bear. But I told
39:47
everybody that was the devil. He mad is hell. He is mad that
39:52
we're praying for these incarcerated individuals. He was mad that my husband read the
39:57
Bible. When me and my husband praying, she was there. We was
40:00
praying, and all of a sudden and we lift up. After we got
40:04
married. It looked like somebody threw a bucket of water on him. We
40:08
was like one with you. He was like, I don't know, I
40:10
think the devil coming out. We just thought the devil is coming out.
40:16
Really so I know, and I saw everybody this the devil. The only
40:21
thing he could really get me with is with my health. Whenever he feels
40:25
like I'm getting too short, he suck upoints me. Bam right with the
40:30
cancer. It was like faith still stay. I was like, you know
40:37
what, it ain't happening. We're gonna block that boom. She she got
40:40
stage one, no triple negative, no nothing, and now go ahead,
40:45
do your walk and you're gonna be fine. Walk through it and I cried,
40:47
I said, why me, why me? Why not me? Exactly?
40:53
But Angela again she gave me. She she always she always knows God's
41:00
always places it in her spirit. Where she has her birthday, she usually
41:04
has a carference and this particular this year she did the conference. It was
41:07
reset. I think, reset, restart and release. I wanted to do
41:13
renew, renew, restart and release. I wanted to do the restart.
41:16
She was like, no, you're doing release. I was like, why
41:20
are you? I was mad. She said, that's all you're doing.
41:22
And she left me for last. She left me for last to speak or
41:27
release. So I have to sit there and really think about release, like
41:30
I really and I thought about the world. I looked up the word I
41:34
found scripture about the world. And then I and I was like, you
41:37
know, that's that's us releasing whatever we're going through. God is like,
41:42
release it and give it to me and keep walking. Release it and let
41:45
it go. Drop it right there. I got it. Yeah, like
41:47
release, you gotta release the garbage. You gotta at lease whatever's going on,
41:52
release it. And yes, and I'm telling you. And because I
41:57
was getting negative and positive feedback about my head, the devil will use I
42:01
said it, and I said it in my speech about release. The devil
42:07
will use anybody to mess with you, your husband, your children, whatever,
42:10
to beat you down and make you think you're not doing the right thing.
42:15
So for the whole seventeen minutes, the first sixteen minutes I had my
42:20
I was not live, so I let my picture stay there. I was
42:23
just talking and I know everybody was like, why she not live? Why
42:28
she not life? Because I said at the end, I said, I
42:30
just wanted y'all to know I'm releasing everything that and I came live and I
42:35
let them see me as I am with no here and how I was,
42:38
and I was able to embrace that and really release it. Because that's a
42:43
hard thing to do. That's a hard pillar swallow. But I was okay.
42:46
Now. The reason why I got on my little lay front today because
42:50
I wanted to feel like myself before I was diagnosed with the cancer. So
42:54
for my birthday, I wanted to feel like the old me, like,
43:00
oh, I looked at everything. So I want to say, because I'm
43:01
beautiful at all, course I know that, but I was like, you
43:05
know what, I just want to feel like myself, like because you when
43:09
you go through this journey, it's a lot on your body. It's a
43:12
lot. I fell down a flight of steps, like, no, I'm
43:15
doing that. I mean, I've been through it. Y'all don't even know.
43:22
I called toy, like, uh, I practice rims broke my n
43:30
She was like, what the and this spiral steps at that it's not no.
43:34
If y'all concede these steps that this woman went down, and she is
43:39
sitting here with us, you cannot tell I'm testifying my testimony. God is
43:47
real because these steps is real. And she went around a curve, falling
43:54
the way to the bottom, and she turned the corner. It's her head.
44:00
Anything else but what touched that curt touched it. She would be here.
44:05
God is good. Yeah, she's hilarious. Though I'm not gonna tell
44:08
you I'm not laughing that she felt. I don't want you to think she
44:12
knows why I'm laughing. I'm not laughing that she fell though. I'm just
44:17
climbing. And then I broke three nails. Got up when oh my gosh,
44:22
her nails was bleeding. Yes, I was like, I was all
44:29
that stuff, but I'm fine. We're gonna talk more about that form on
44:32
our next show, but before you go forward, because I need these things
44:37
out before the show ends. So we were talking about the journey. Let's
44:42
show the people what was created from the journey a little lower. There we
44:49
go, the Journal of Hope. Okay, you guys need to get this
44:55
for support and anyone who is going through the same type of journey, this
45:04
journal will help you work through it within yourself because as you heard her say,
45:12
she had to come to terms with it within herself, but before she
45:15
could truly release it. So I believe that this journal would be a great
45:21
aid to help anyone release what they need to release and get out what they
45:28
need to get out so they can make it through their journey safely. Because
45:30
stress, and that was the number one thing. I consistently told her things
45:36
were getting to her, which her feelings are valid, right, but things
45:40
were getting to her, and I had to let her know, you gotta
45:45
let that roll right off of you, because that stress is not gonna help
45:49
you. It's just gonna make that nasty bug inside you grow into a bigger
45:53
bug. So what we're gonna do is ignore anybody that's not team or b
46:00
G you're not on my team. I gotta w you gotta get ignored because
46:05
you're causing or you're you're aiding in more creation of illness within me, And
46:12
if you were on my team, you wouldn't want to do that. So
46:15
from this journey, she found out who who's really OBG and who's not.
46:22
So God and the devil. Devil did it to to slow the situation down.
46:29
But I really feel like God had a little bit in there as well,
46:31
so that she could really see who should she be wasting her time on
46:36
and who she shouldn't. Yes, yes, now what of the projects were
46:43
not coming out or I thought him, we're not the OBG right now?
46:45
Or I thought him a jack? Well one is um uh? I just
46:52
feel this is my first book series and it's cool. Can you see no
47:00
your faith? But now you gotta back up. Now you're going, oh
47:07
there we are there, we go right there, right there, right there.
47:08
I am not defined by my address. Yea, I gotta get that
47:12
book, y'all. It's yes, it's um it's a love story. It's
47:15
me and my husband's story, the journey how we actually met and what we're
47:20
going through. And also my first short film is dropping August the six oh
47:28
thank you, Angie. I'm not that you can get that. Yes you
47:34
can. UM go to the website and when you go on the website and
47:37
it's as merchandise, you have a button a push. It takes you right
47:40
to the Amazon page to buy it. But you could get it on Walmart.
47:44
You can get on all of the all of the platforms. But it's
47:46
if you go to the website, the Wall magazine dot org and push on
47:51
the purchase button, it goes right to Amazon, so you can pick it
47:53
up. UM. Also, August the six will be the premiere of our
48:00
first a book of a book of of dream productions film by Sador Films will
48:07
be UM the premium of my first short film called Falsely Accused. Yes,
48:14
yes it's a short film. I'm excited. Were also Toya will be starving
48:19
in it too, and also the audio book will be put together as well.
48:22
We go in the studio or in May twenty first, So it's a
48:27
lot of projects that's in the works. Are you jumped? I don't appreciate
48:31
the jump, but you jumped. Let's go back to not to find by
48:36
my address. So we are doing a book signing. The book signing is
48:43
May twentieth. It's gonna be npa um Underbird Lane, Underbird Lay. I
48:50
don't know the address Thunderbird Lay at the Bowling Alley. Right wait, I'm
48:53
yeah the boat. The name of the bowling Alley is Thunderbird Leys. But
48:58
I'm gonna get I'm gonna get the address. I'm make sure I say the
49:00
address before we get off. Yeah. Um, we'll be there. Um.
49:06
Actually, while we're there, we are also holding hosting a live lottery
49:13
drawing. If you donate a dollar, um, it's on the it'll be
49:17
on the web page. I am doing a cancer two hundred steps walks or
49:23
whatever it is. But I have to if I raised two hundred, I
49:25
want to raise two hundred and fifty dollars. So I'm actually everybody to give
49:29
a dollar. You give a dollar before May twenty. If it's a beautiful
49:32
gift basket, you have a chance to be in the lottery drawing from it.
49:37
Um, every dollar you do it, we put your name on it,
49:40
put it in the basket, and it's gonna go live, and we're
49:44
gonna add the book signing. We're gonna draw them, you know, draw
49:47
the names out. We're gonna let them let them know who won the basket.
49:51
It's a complete it's gonna be a complete. Um My whole library,
49:57
my whole catalog, every book and also my merchandise, my merch from the
50:04
Brown Girls squad is gonna be It's everything that I have done is in this
50:08
basket. So the baskett is worth at least a five hundred dollars basket minimum.
50:15
It's you get a chance to win it for a dollar donation for the
50:17
Breast Cancer Award. What we will accept any monetary so you feel more inspired
50:28
to get two dollars. That's fine. Let's help her hit her goal,
50:30
guys, two quick, real quick, because I know y'all want to see
50:36
I know y'all want to meet her live because this I mean, I know
50:38
this is live. But this ain't enough. You know, you want to
50:42
get your pick and get your sophies on with the OBG the Original Brown Girl
50:46
or the Pamela Jay. Make sure you get your tickets. You gotta you
50:52
gotta follow mister Mark five. Yes, okay, you need to buy your
50:57
tickets for the bowling party that will be at the Thunderbird Lanes. The tickets
51:01
of thirty dollars and you can get to mister Mark five by calling two one
51:07
five six one seven five five five eight to get your tickets for the bowling
51:14
party that author Pamela Jay will be doing her book signing as well as selling
51:20
merch. So you gotta come regardless because you gotta get all the merch.
51:23
You know, you gotta get all the merch. Okay, So it's gonna
51:27
be at Thunderbird Lanes fifty seven thirty Caster Avenue, Philadelphia, PA. One
51:34
more time Thunderbird Lanes, fifty seven thirty Caster Avenue, Philadelphia, PA.
51:40
Make sure I want to see everybody there, Author Lisa Hopkins. I think
51:46
I saw Sophia. I need to see you all. Y'all there. I
51:50
see your messages popping up. But let's let's get let's meet in person.
51:54
Yes, yes, yes, I'm talking about this book signing. I know
51:59
you are. I am too. But also when you go there too,
52:02
if you purchase with what you purchase something like if you purchase anything over twenty
52:08
dollars, it is a beautiful bookmark. That is uh, it's got gonna
52:13
be like a limited edition. You can only get these bookmarks. They're beautiful.
52:17
When you see me at a book signing it's not for sale. It's
52:22
edition, so you can only get it at a book signing and you gotta
52:24
spend at least twenty dollars. And you get this, you have to spend
52:28
at least fifty dollars. Excuse me, I'm sorry, fifty dollars. She
52:31
is not looking at her notes. Guys, she has to spend. You
52:35
have to spend at least fifty dollars, and I'm telling you it's worth it.
52:37
This limited edition bookmark is to go along with her catalog of books,
52:43
and her catalog of books will be there so you can purchase them, get
52:46
her little John Hancock on it and her signature fancy y'all. Y'all know y'all
52:52
want that book. M okay a right? So when when the Walls want
53:00
to be on again every third Thursday, we are here a lot at eight
53:05
pm, Sina pm. If you guys want to be a part of the
53:08
show, just let me know. Um, you can hit us up on
53:14
the because I'm gonna put a space. It's a space on the website,
53:16
but by tomorrow or next week, by Monday, it's gonna be a space
53:21
where you can hit us up if you want to be on the show.
53:23
If you want to hear a topic, if you know somebody, yes who
53:28
has been incarcerated is now set free, and you think their stormy should be
53:32
heard, hit us up. We had out because we're here to get that
53:37
word out. Yo. Incarcerrated does not mean evil. Incarcerrated does not mean
53:44
necessarily bad. Once again, yes, there are a lot of bad people,
53:49
but there are a lot of good people. And what you did as
53:53
a child and when you were younger does not mean that you're gonna do it
53:57
as an adult. And I mean, but howing that it's flowing through that
54:02
system. There are so many artists, writers, it's that my, my,
54:10
my, my characters. My logo was created by somebody behind the wall.
54:15
So exactly what I mean, I don't say I did it, I
54:19
don't, you know, because I didn't. I don't know how to draw
54:22
all the right But yeah, we are. Um, this is an amazing
54:25
and amazing Um the Wall is really evolving into its own thing. So I'm
54:31
really proud of what transpired after the magazine into what it is coming to now.
54:38
Also, the next issue, the Loss is called the Loss Issue because
54:43
I got sick, so it's a double issue. It's coming this summer twenty
54:46
twenty three is gonna be the loss issue plus the new stuff that's going on
54:51
with the Wall now, So make sure you just keep on the look out.
54:53
We're gonna keep updating you because our next show is next in May,
54:58
and we'll let you know how everything is going on. How to you know
55:01
everything that's going on with the war, whatever you tell us in our emails
55:06
or whatever. Our email address is twenty twenty the War at gmail dot com,
55:12
or like I said, you can go to the website and you can
55:15
send a message to us through the website, which is The War Magazine dot
55:20
org, or you can call us at nine one four three one seven five
55:23
two five zero leave a message. One of us is gonna get back to
55:28
you. And what's happening On Tuesday, Tuesday, we are backlive brown Girl
55:36
hashtag we got this Me and LADYT That is our Brown Girl show and this
55:40
Tuesday we will be talking about why is there so much emphasis on black girls
55:46
or any woman's here? What's the deal with here? Like, what is
55:52
society saying? What are we allowing society to say about our heir and about
55:57
how we look and how it just a tax us so that's what our show
56:00
is this Tuesday. So we are on every third Thursday with the War and
56:06
every fourth Tuesday with Brown or hashtag. We got this and that's me ya.
56:14
Please come back on Tuesday. Tell your friends to tell a friend,
56:17
to tell a friend. Yes, we are live and I love you guys.
56:22
This was the great, amazing show. Um we rap toy. You
56:25
got anything you want to tell the people? I had a ball. I
56:29
love you guys. I love the War, I love what it for.
56:34
Yes, everything everything, and I will be there May twentieth as well,
56:39
debuting and launching my Lady's Tea collection. After you stop at the book simmon,
56:46
you come by and check me out. You know I'm you know you
56:50
don't want to miss out. But we are about to be out of here.
56:54
Thank you again the podcast for having us on and having on. Angela
57:00
Thomas Smith, you are amazing. Thank you, Yes and the crew,
57:05
the crew you dore you doing what's going on? How your faces so strong?
57:31
In justice sisters, were gonna be get, we gonna have I had
57:37
the guilt. It funny like it's fired. How hold on? So how