Latest / Come Together with Ephraim Herschmann / #104: Candice Ackermann / Coached By Candice

Transcript

#104: Candice Ackermann / Coached By Candice · Come Together with Ephraim Herschmann

• 0:01
  Welcome to another episode of Come Together
• 0:15
  and we're live Again. Hello.
• 0:16
  Welcome, Candace. I'm so excited that you're here.
• 0:19
  Thanks. For doing this, I'm very excited
• 0:21
  to be here. Thank you for reaching out.
• 0:23
  Of course, of course, of course. Yeah, it's, it's been funny
• 0:28
  because I have been, you know, when I called e-mail people, I
• 0:35
  my follow my, I think I got maybe 30% response rate
• 0:39
  approximately right, which is not bad.
• 0:42
  But then it goes up like a bunch when I follow up even just once.
• 0:46
  And like you, you know, like it does.
• 0:47
  It lets people know that I'm not just a bot or some kind of spam
• 0:50
  e-mail letting them know what's you know and just just reaching
• 0:52
  out to them. It's like I said, you're a real
• 0:56
  life person. Yeah, that's right.
• 0:58
  It's a, it's two factor authentication.
• 1:00
  You know, it's, it's one e-mail and two emails.
• 1:03
  Why don't you tell me just a little bit about yourself and
• 1:05
  then we can kind of talk about everything we want to talk
• 1:08
  about. Yeah, sure.
• 1:10
  So I am in the ecosystem of health and well-being married to
• 1:16
  an amazing man with three children and their three sons,
• 1:20
  they 2724 and 20. So it's really been an
• 1:26
  incredible journey of blending parenthood with the whole
• 1:30
  ecosystem of health and well-being and where we're at.
• 1:34
  I'm passionate about animals, children, I love the business
• 1:39
  that we're in. I love making a difference in
• 1:41
  people's lives. And, you know, getting to speak
• 1:45
  to people like yourself who are so interested and, and are
• 1:50
  curious always makes it exciting and, and different to have these
• 1:54
  kind of conversations. Definitely, Yeah, Yeah.
• 1:58
  Well, I mean, that's I, that's kind of a push me to get started
• 2:02
  doing this. One of the main factors was
• 2:04
  like, I just feel like I need more, like I think more
• 2:08
  interesting people and types of people in my life, you know, and
• 2:12
  you know, and I used to travel quite a bit for work when I was
• 2:14
  single, you know, I, and it was pretty much voluntary.
• 2:18
  I didn't really need to if I didn't want to.
• 2:19
  But you know, we, you know, I saw medical equipment and if
• 2:22
  there's a big ultrasound machine or a DEXA machine going to
• 2:26
  customer, then I'll take an opportunity to take a road trip
• 2:29
  or I'd meet the customer when the freight company arrived and
• 2:34
  I got to check out some awesome, awesome cities around the
• 2:37
  country, big cities, small cities.
• 2:39
  And I love just stopping in. Like I would ask where locals
• 2:44
  hang out and then I would just stop by wherever like the, you
• 2:48
  know, the local scene was, whether it's a bar or coffee
• 2:50
  shop or, you know, just wherever many people would hang out.
• 2:53
  And I'd love talking to people and every America is amazing
• 3:00
  because there's it's a town and city and state has like so much
• 3:06
  of their own personalities and so much of their own like, you
• 3:08
  know, style of human, flavor of human that I was like, I got to
• 3:12
  just keep on doing more of this. I think this is amazing.
• 3:14
  So it kind of pushed me to start.
• 3:16
  Well, you know what I mean? To that point, the exciting
• 3:19
  thing about the US is that literally every city is like its
• 3:23
  own country and the opportunity to travel and just this melting
• 3:29
  pot of immigrants, which really the foundation of what the US is
• 3:33
  all about is just so interesting.
• 3:35
  From the culture to the food, to the colours, the smells, the the
• 3:39
  architecture, it's really an exciting place.
• 3:42
  And the luxury and the privilege to travel and meet these people
• 3:47
  and live like a local is, is what grows.
• 3:51
  It grows your passion, it just grows your outlook and it just
• 3:54
  give you a different perspective on the world.
• 3:57
  Yeah, definitely, definitely. And I think that I love, I love
• 4:01
  touristy things too, because they exist for a reason.
• 4:03
  You know, cliches are fun, but, you know, but like, I feel like
• 4:07
  you get down to like the real rawness and real grittiness.
• 4:09
  And I, you know, I feel the same thing actually about like, and I
• 4:12
  noticed that that's what I liked about the podcasting world was
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  it could be as authentic as you want it to be.
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  It could be as polished as you want it to be.
• 4:22
  It could be as raw as you want it to be.
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  And there's no right or wrong, it's just whatever your flavour
• 4:28
  is. And then just go and find, you
• 4:29
  know, and go find it. Have you got a chance?
• 4:31
  When did you You said, You told me you came to the States, what,
• 4:34
  four or five years ago? Yeah, absolutely.
• 4:36
  In December of 2020 and. Good timing.
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  Tell me about it. Especially because I'm from
• 4:43
  South Africa originally. And we had like really hectic
• 4:48
  lockdowns. Like we weren't, we weren't
• 4:51
  allowed to leave our homes and only one person was allowed to
• 4:55
  go to the grocery store at a time.
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  And unless you were an essential worker, literally essentially
• 5:02
  you weren't allowed to move. And so when we arrived, nobody
• 5:05
  was wearing a mask. Kids were in school, businesses
• 5:09
  were open, people were out celebrating.
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  And we were like, what happened was this, Did this really just
• 5:16
  only happen in South Africa? But obviously we know that it
• 5:19
  didn't. So.
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  Yeah, so. It started so COVID started in
• 5:22
  South Africa before it hit the states.
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  No, no, no, it was all at the same time.
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  It was all around the same time. Yeah, I mean, there was talk
• 5:29
  about it and then all of a sudden it literally just spread.
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  One month they were talking about there was this thing
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  happening in the US and then the next minute there was patient
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  number one, I think in South Africa that had been in France
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  and came and then it was just like wildfire in the whole
• 5:46
  world. You kind of just watched like
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  this Domino. That was crazy.
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  That was. Crazy and it was what just
• 5:55
  happened. So when we arrived it was Oh my
• 5:58
  goodness gracious me. This is just, this is just
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  crazy. So it was a good place to be
• 6:03
  during COVID to see that people functioned and lived and, and
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  despite all the stories we were being told, laugh was continuing
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  and people were doing laugh, right.
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  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, some people were, you
• 6:19
  know, some people were I, I, I, yeah.
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  I was living at the time. I was living in Washington, in
• 6:25
  Seattle. I lived there for a year with my
• 6:28
  friends. And it's actually funny because
• 6:30
  I was never ever, ever really politically aware in general.
• 6:35
  And so like when I had told friends and family that I was
• 6:39
  moving to Seattle, I would get very mixed responses based on
• 6:44
  what my, my friend, you know, who I was talking to.
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  But I never really thought that it would impact, like, it never
• 6:50
  really did impact day-to-day life, right?
• 6:52
  So I was like, OK, so let's say it's a predominantly left city,
• 6:56
  like who cares? Like that doesn't affect me.
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  When I go to the supermarket, I'm saying hi to the cashier.
• 7:00
  It doesn't affect the, you know, the group of friends I'm going
• 7:02
  to choose to hang out with, the beer I'm going to drink or the
• 7:04
  weed I'm going to smoke. You know, like, you know, none
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  of that matters. So but then when COVID hit, you
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  got to see really the different responses across the states
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  also, which was fun and really, really interesting to observe.
• 7:19
  And what I thought was cool was that I was going back and forth
• 7:24
  between New York and Washington at that point.
• 7:26
  I'm originally from New York, and then I was living in
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  Washington and in New York life did just come to like a grinding
• 7:34
  halt. And that was it in Washington.
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  I don't know whether there's something about West Coast
• 7:39
  mentality or not in Washington, people were like essentially
• 7:44
  shut down, but people were still continuing life outdoors and
• 7:47
  doing their best to like kind of keep on living.
• 7:49
  And so, you know, our days actually became full of and F
• 7:53
  when I was still working from home, our days became full of
• 7:57
  walks to the park and going down into the lake and, you know,
• 8:00
  hanging on our backyard. And like, if you want to have
• 8:02
  friends over, you don't hang out in front of ATV.
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  You hang out in the backyard because that's open space, it's
• 8:07
  safe, you know, whatever it is. And it just turned out to have
• 8:09
  been awesome in that kind of, you know, manifestation, the way
• 8:12
  it manifested. So it's cool to like, again, you
• 8:15
  know, the state's eclecticness, to see the different responses
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  even. And you know, I think to that
• 8:21
  point about you spoke about connecting and connection and
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  hanging out with people, so many people in, in the very harsher
• 8:30
  environment, environments lost that level of connection and
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  really craved that human connection.
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  And people became introverted and people became scared and
• 8:45
  people became so isolated that they're isolated themselves.
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  And it's taken a lot of a lot of people a long time to open
• 8:54
  themselves up again to trust being with people.
• 8:57
  It's not trying. You're in.
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  Experience haven't done. It.
• 9:00
  Yet, yeah, from little kids to teenagers, that gap in time
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  where they were really harsh restrictions in place pulled
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  people apart. It didn't bother.
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  And well, we blessed that we're not in the space and time
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  anymore. And please God, we never will be
• 9:19
  so. Yeah, yeah.
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  What was what, what was it like as a parent observing at that
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  point would have been what, like a 15 year old, 20 year old and
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  like 18 year old. I mean, it's actually funny
• 9:32
  because my siblings, I'm 29. My youngest sibling is 14 and we
• 9:38
  were all home around the same time, but I'm curious about the
• 9:41
  consequences. Do you notice educationally,
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  socially, habits? Yeah, so it was interesting
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  because we had planned our move to the US and I had given school
• 9:56
  for my youngest. I'd given them notice and
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  basically lockdown happened and I'd given them notice and pretty
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  much a few weeks later he was, he was ending school.
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  So it was the first time that the US had ever had an
• 10:13
  international student online. So he then changed his hours.
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  He came onto American time. We were going to bed and he was
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  just in the middle of his school day and waking up in the morning
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  and he'd be sleeping because he had just finished homework.
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  So that was a real change and he was living the US life
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  virtually. How do you like that?
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  Sorry, did. He like it.
• 10:39
  He, he did, I mean, he, he's a very curious person with lots of
• 10:44
  bold opinions and views. And so to, to have that like
• 10:50
  that look into a world that he was going into but wasn't quite
• 10:55
  present in, it was exciting for him.
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  And of course, it was totally different.
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  And the whole educational system is different.
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  So he kind of led an American life and on his own time zone.
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  And then my, my two older boys, the middle one had just finished
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  high school and had applied to College in the US and had gotten
• 11:16
  in and couldn't come. And so I had to defer, defer and
• 11:19
  my oldest had finished his undergrad and he looked and he
• 11:23
  was coming for his masters in the US and same thing had to
• 11:27
  defer, defer. So watching the two older guys,
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  they landed up doing a course, they landed up brainstorming
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  like where to what next? Kind of tapping into their,
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  their, their personal genius and, and entrepreneurial
• 11:44
  spirits. And we had.
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  A good time in that process. Are you and your husband in that
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  process? So they're create how?
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  Involved. Are you guys in their process in
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  terms of like what to do next? Do they welcome your input?
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  Do you guys like them kind of just do their own thing?
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  How does that work? So we have always been like
• 12:01
  completely open, transparent, we talk about everything.
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  We nothing is off limits as far as discussions are concerned.
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  But it was a collective decision as a family to come to the US.
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  Everybody had brought in coming to the US and so that was easy.
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  But what do you do with these beautiful young man's that are
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  bright and eager and full of adventure, new possibilities and
• 12:26
  then you shut down and they can't go anywhere.
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  So watching them embrace, as I said during a couple of courses,
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  we when we got wind what was happening, we set up a home gym.
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  So, you know, the whole focus went into, you know, keeping
• 12:41
  ourselves fit and healthy and just having endless
• 12:44
  conversations. And it was about around about
• 12:48
  that time where we came up with the name for our business that
• 12:52
  we have in the US. And it was a time of of a lot of
• 12:57
  growth and opportunity and getting to know each other
• 13:00
  without any interruptions. And I know that sounds crazy and
• 13:05
  weird, but with the everyday humdrum of life, you never get
• 13:09
  down into those real deep, beautiful conversations.
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  And the gift of that situation was that's exactly what we had.
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  Yeah. Yeah, that sounds, it sounds
• 13:19
  awesome. It sounds like, it's funny
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  because I feel like COVID was either especially the beginning,
• 13:23
  like, you know, the first like couple of months was either the
• 13:27
  best thing to happen to a lot of families or the worst thing to
• 13:30
  happen to people, you know, I mean, I know I the divorce rate
• 13:34
  exploded, you know, alcoholism exploded, you know, the, you
• 13:38
  know, friends, family members, everyone was ripping each
• 13:42
  other's heads off or having the best time in the entire world,
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  you know, and like, it was very, very rarely that there was like
• 13:48
  a middle ground. But I think what was so
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  interesting looking back about it, I think there was even a
• 13:55
  kind of sense of awareness of it at the time is how much fat
• 14:01
  there is on our day-to-day life. That could just be like cut out
• 14:04
  that we don't necessarily need. And that has to do with our
• 14:09
  jobs. It has to do with what we
• 14:10
  whether you know, going to the supermarket over, you know, or
• 14:13
  doing errands versus spending time with our family.
• 14:16
  Oh, there are alternative methods for that kind of stuff
• 14:18
  to get done. Could it be done effectively and
• 14:20
  while building your relationships and like pursuing
• 14:23
  your, your hobbies and passions? And like, I think that starting
• 14:27
  2020, you know, March 2020 till today, people are real.
• 14:31
  Like in the US, there's been movements I've, I've seen all
• 14:34
  over the place now for four day work weeks.
• 14:36
  Like we just don't need, like, we don't need 5 dates, you know,
• 14:38
  like we don't need 6 days, only seven days.
• 14:39
  Like, and then, and people are talking about how remote jobs
• 14:43
  are good or bad. By the way, I see your
• 14:44
  expression and I'll let you, I'm curious, I'm curious what you
• 14:49
  think of that. But I think that it's almost
• 14:51
  inevitable that as technology gets better and we find
• 14:55
  ourselves a little bit more obsolete in terms of like the
• 14:58
  way the world just runs, that we can either choose to be
• 15:03
  disciplined and effective and loving and human, or we're going
• 15:08
  to be, you know, Alcoholics that are, you know, that are bored
• 15:13
  out of our minds and breaking up, you know, and, and the
• 15:15
  divorce rate will fire up and like, they'll probably be a
• 15:17
  little bit of both, you know. But yes, what do you think?
• 15:20
  No, you know. I, I think what COVID did do and
• 15:26
  not to linger on, on the whole COVID thing is that it really
• 15:30
  brought the world to one point where everybody was happy to use
• 15:35
  any form of technology to connect, right?
• 15:37
  So all of a sudden you don't have to be in person to attend a
• 15:40
  meeting. You don't have to wait to get on
• 15:44
  that flight to see somebody. It allowed and it does allow for
• 15:48
  immediate interaction as we're having today.
• 15:51
  But what it doesn't replace is that you can't build a culture
• 15:56
  unless you're together. I'm sorry.
• 15:57
  About that, that was my fault. Give me your thought.
• 16:00
  I'm sorry. Please.
• 16:01
  No worries. So as I say, not to linger on
• 16:04
  the COVID thing because we've come so far, it did allow us all
• 16:07
  to be able to connect globally. We didn't.
• 16:09
  You don't have to jump on a plane.
• 16:11
  You can have a meeting, you can connect like we are doing today
• 16:14
  and you feel like you're with the person and it's to a level
• 16:16
  quite intimate. However, it doesn't allow you to
• 16:20
  build a culture. From a business perspective, if
• 16:23
  everybody's placed all over the world and all over the country,
• 16:26
  you can't build a culture and that can be replaced.
• 16:30
  The human connection can never be replaced.
• 16:34
  Sitting in front of somebody, sealing, seeing their their
• 16:37
  emotions and and seeing how they do things and working
• 16:41
  collaboratively is what counts. So whilst I think that there's a
• 16:47
  place for it, nothing will ever replace human one-on-one
• 16:52
  contact. And we need it.
• 16:55
  We do. We do, but, but I, I think that
• 16:58
  a lot of people are not fortunate enough to have their
• 17:01
  place of work be the place where they have their emotional
• 17:04
  connections or even like positive connections, you know.
• 17:07
  And so for those people, you know, I have friends, for
• 17:10
  example, that are accountants that don't need to be in the
• 17:12
  office except, and there are particular times of the year
• 17:16
  where busy season they do and they do say, listen, it works a
• 17:19
  lot better when there's a, a, a hustle in the air and there's
• 17:23
  some enthusiasm in like, and it's wonderful.
• 17:26
  But the other seven months of the year, 6 months of the year
• 17:28
  when it's dead, you know, and they don't go, they don't have
• 17:32
  to go in. Then the benefit is that I've
• 17:35
  worked remotely with friends before.
• 17:36
  You know, like when we when we moved to when I moved to
• 17:38
  Washington, I was the four was the three other friends.
• 17:41
  All of us were single, all of us were doing different professions
• 17:44
  and three of us were in the house 90% of the day, you know,
• 17:47
  and, and we got that and we got that best friendship.
• 17:51
  You know, they were able to all, you know, we were able to hang
• 17:53
  out and we did our own things and we were going together.
• 17:55
  And so it gives us the flexibility to be able to kind
• 17:59
  of pursue those friendships if we're not lucky enough to have
• 18:02
  them at work. But if work is your culture and
• 18:04
  like work is that like if you're a teacher, if you're, you know,
• 18:07
  if you're, you know, if you work at a gym, you're working at a
• 18:09
  very people forward kind of people facing position, then you
• 18:14
  definitely want that culture and you definitely want to be
• 18:16
  embodied, you know. Yeah.
• 18:18
  And. But to your point, you were
• 18:20
  living with friends and so you you could nurture relationships.
• 18:24
  A lot of people live on their own, Yeah.
• 18:26
  They live with a spouse. And so, you know, how much
• 18:30
  productivity is there really? How much are they getting from
• 18:33
  the person they're with? Or there is nobody with them.
• 18:35
  But a dog in some cases isn't even a dog.
• 18:38
  So they, their level of productivity isn't there and
• 18:42
  their level of being needed. And there's something about
• 18:44
  being needed, being that little cog in the wheel that pulls
• 18:48
  everything together with without that, some people really, really
• 18:52
  struggle. True.
• 18:53
  Yeah, Yeah, I think, I think it depends on the job.
• 18:55
  I think it depends on the person on the job.
• 18:57
  But I think that I think that it's a really cool.
• 19:00
  It's it was inconceivable even 10 years ago, you know, the kind
• 19:04
  of flexibility that we have or, you know, when people started
• 19:06
  realizing that Instacart was an option for getting, you know,
• 19:10
  groceries. And instead of me spending 45
• 19:12
  minutes going to the supermarket to get a couple of things for
• 19:15
  dinner, you know, we can order that and I could get a couple of
• 19:18
  my kids to bed at night. Like that's such a, you know,
• 19:20
  and that and that changes everything and it really does,
• 19:22
  it can change our connections. So I'm excited about, I think
• 19:26
  that. So, you know, COVID good or bad
• 19:28
  or, you know, whatever it was in the day.
• 19:30
  I think like everything in the world, you could take, you know,
• 19:33
  there's good you could take from it and there's not.
• 19:36
  So I there's so many things I wanted to talk to you about.
• 19:41
  Walk away. Listening.
• 19:43
  Let's talk about parenting a little bit.
• 19:46
  What have you learned raising three boys?
• 19:51
  The old has been 27, you said? Yeah.
• 19:54
  Old has been 2724. Well, he turns 27 in in three
• 19:58
  weeks time and 20. Yeah, so.
• 20:02
  Tell me if if you have recommendations, right, you
• 20:11
  know, general rules that you found worked or didn't work in
• 20:16
  terms of raising your kids. You want to elaborate on some of
• 20:20
  these ideas? Yeah, sure.
• 20:22
  It's pleasure. So one thing I do know for sure,
• 20:24
  you don't get a manual when you're a parent, right?
• 20:28
  So it's, it's some it's, it's something that comes from within
• 20:33
  and you as a parent do the best that you can.
• 20:36
  And, and you just given the privilege of just growing these
• 20:41
  beautiful gifts and children are, and I said earlier and an
• 20:46
  absolute privilege and and gift to have around.
• 20:49
  For me as a parent, I have found that what has worked for me is
• 20:54
  always being the adults in the room, not responding badly to
• 20:57
  situations, right? Children Act up, they say
• 21:02
  things, they do things for attention.
• 21:05
  And you don't want to meet that need with negative feedback,
• 21:11
  right? So from my perspective is always
• 21:15
  showing up for my kids in whichever shape, way of form
• 21:18
  that they need. Always knowing that no matter
• 21:20
  what, I have their back. I may not like their behavior or
• 21:25
  what they've done, but I I'll always love them.
• 21:27
  I'll always bet for them. But they need to stand
• 21:30
  accountable for what they do and say as well.
• 21:34
  And they have to develop their own sense of who they are and
• 21:41
  and not just follow the status quo.
• 21:45
  How do you encourage? That.
• 21:49
  When they talk to you about their own needs and desires and
• 21:54
  when they were younger, when they were at school, if, if, if
• 21:56
  they had uncomfortable run insurance with their friends or,
• 22:00
  you know, typical school grounds situations is, is listening and,
• 22:05
  and you know, questioning and asking and not blaming and, you
• 22:11
  know, letting them come to conclusions on their own and
• 22:14
  troubleshooting and what ifs and just listening and, and holding
• 22:21
  space for them. I have found to be, you know,
• 22:25
  very advantageous. And even now, you know, it's
• 22:29
  like, do you want me to listen? Do you want me to give you
• 22:32
  input? Whatever you need from me, You
• 22:36
  tell me what you want and kind of growing up and and being with
• 22:40
  my boys in that respect, I was privileged when they were young.
• 22:43
  I was with them. It was it was it was beautiful
• 22:49
  to watch how three different people had three different needs
• 22:53
  and still have three different needs.
• 22:55
  And I have to address all three of them differently.
• 22:58
  And just, you know, there's something about gentle
• 23:05
  parenting, which is, which is a beautiful thing.
• 23:09
  And especially having boys, people think you've got to be
• 23:12
  super tough. And, you know, boys are rough
• 23:14
  and rugged and you know, they can handle everything.
• 23:17
  Boys still need to be dealt with gently.
• 23:19
  Boys need to be taught. Boys are so.
• 23:22
  Sensitive so. Sensitive.
• 23:24
  Amazing. It's crazy, right?
• 23:26
  But they need to be taught how to how to treat women.
• 23:31
  They they need to be taught that chivalry isn't a dying art, that
• 23:35
  they need to they need to have you always.
• 23:38
  Known this, have you when you have you like did you, is this
• 23:40
  something that you had learned or read about or picked up as
• 23:45
  like you were being a parent throughout the years?
• 23:48
  Or is that something that you knew going into being a parent?
• 23:50
  So like when you're, you know, or was it because I know, for
• 23:53
  example, my mom has a very similar perspective to you.
• 23:56
  Yeah. When I, when I was 5, she did
• 23:59
  not have that perspective, you know, that she has now, you
• 24:02
  know, and but I know that she, you know, we're, we're, we're,
• 24:05
  we're, we're, we're, we're a family of Orthodox Jews.
• 24:08
  And I know that she spends a lot of time contemplating and
• 24:14
  working on her, working on her mannerisms and her personality
• 24:18
  and her personality traits. And she's always trying to be
• 24:22
  better and learn more about people and herself and how to be
• 24:25
  a better mom. But that's, I feel like that's a
• 24:30
  pretty rare thing. I feel like that's not what
• 24:32
  every mom in the world is like, you know?
• 24:33
  And it's wonderful to hear that you're, that you're, that you're
• 24:35
  describing the same thing. But did you always have that, or
• 24:38
  is that something that came to you over the years?
• 24:40
  I so, so desperately wanted to be a mom.
• 24:43
  I mean, for me, that was like one of the highest accolades
• 24:47
  and, and an absolute privilege to be able to be called mom.
• 24:50
  So I went in with very clear ideas and routines and
• 24:56
  disciplines and principles and all these things that I wanted
• 25:00
  for my children, thinking that they were absolutely the right
• 25:03
  way. But as I said, you know, each,
• 25:07
  each child presented with different needs and wants.
• 25:09
  And so I had to evolve how I was from my first one to my second
• 25:13
  one to my third one. Is that hard?
• 25:18
  You know, initially I wasn't really aware of it, but as their
• 25:22
  little personality started developing, then like, OK, well,
• 25:26
  actually you come from the same DNAI cannot believe that you
• 25:30
  come from three different planets.
• 25:32
  But yes, absolutely. So it, it was and it wasn't I, I
• 25:39
  more celebrated seeing how individual they really were and,
• 25:43
  and trying to meet them where they were at with their needs.
• 25:47
  And to your mom's point of trying to grow and, and bet
• 25:52
  ourselves and be more present for my children as they've
• 25:55
  gotten older, Of course, my parenting style has evolved and
• 25:58
  it will continue to evolve. I was having a conversation with
• 26:01
  with one of my sons today and that's exactly what I was
• 26:04
  saying. You never stop parenting, but
• 26:07
  your parenting style evolves and you you go into different
• 26:12
  relationships at different times with your children and it's
• 26:17
  exciting and. I think that, yeah.
• 26:23
  Go ahead, please. You didn't.
• 26:25
  Yeah, Yeah. It's just remarkable that there
• 26:28
  isn't a rule book, and it's remarkable that what worked when
• 26:33
  they were five didn't work when they were 8.
• 26:35
  And, and, and, and so we go along the way.
• 26:39
  I think too, a lot of parents feel under pressure and they
• 26:42
  feel very stressed about seem to be doing the right thing, seem
• 26:46
  to be the, the, the perfect parents.
• 26:50
  It's not about being perfect. It's just about being good
• 26:53
  enough. It's about being there for your
• 26:54
  children, loving them. It's about helping them to see
• 26:59
  what lies within them and helping them to know that it's
• 27:02
  OK to make a mistake and start again.
• 27:04
  And I'm sure in five years time I would have evolved more and my
• 27:08
  children will get better things out of me then than they did
• 27:12
  when they were younger. But what I do know is that
• 27:16
  they're a gift. I love being a mom.
• 27:20
  And just if their mom's listening out there, just be
• 27:26
  kind to yourself. Just love them and laugh with
• 27:29
  them. It's not so serious.
• 27:30
  It doesn't have to be perfect, but you think a lot of people
• 27:34
  need to. Hear that?
• 27:36
  Sorry you think a lot. Of people need to hear that they
• 27:38
  do. I think a lot of people do need
• 27:41
  to hear that, yeah. Yeah.
• 27:44
  I wonder what contributes to that.
• 27:46
  I wonder why, because it's so one of the things I was talking
• 27:50
  to my friend, you know, I'm one of for some of my friends.
• 27:53
  It's funny, I have different feet in different worlds and
• 27:56
  depending, you know, and depending on what world I'm in,
• 27:58
  my conversations with my friends are super, super different with
• 28:01
  one another. And, and one friend was asking
• 28:03
  me what it's like to have a kid because I have, I'm 29 with a 2
• 28:08
  year old and a one month old. And so I'm, I'm at the starting
• 28:12
  point over here. And, and one of the things he
• 28:15
  asked me like maybe three or four months into my son being
• 28:19
  born was my oldest being born was what's the most surprising
• 28:23
  thing to you? And I said it's really, really
• 28:27
  hard, but I'm surprised how, like, I usually have a low
• 28:31
  tolerance for challenging things, you know, And like
• 28:34
  mentally like I'm like, I don't want to do things.
• 28:36
  And like, it was like, it's amazing how I want, like, I want
• 28:41
  to do the hard work. I want to do the hard stuff.
• 28:43
  And like, it's not fun. Like, I can't tell you, like,
• 28:46
  it's fun waking up in the middle of the night.
• 28:47
  But like, when you wake up in the middle of the night and like
• 28:49
  you're there for that moment and the kid goes back to bed and,
• 28:51
  and like everything is good again.
• 28:52
  And you know, that you, you know, had been responsible.
• 28:55
  You've responded to the situation appropriately.
• 28:58
  Like that's like, that's the best thing you could do for
• 29:01
  yourself, you know? And, but I also feel like it
• 29:03
  comes naturally. So I wonder what happens along
• 29:06
  the way that people kind of lose that labour of love.
• 29:10
  I'm not so sure it's about losing the labor of love.
• 29:12
  I think a lot of parents are have very demanding careers.
• 29:20
  Sometimes they in ill health themselves, sometimes they
• 29:23
  struggling emotionally or mentally and they don't know how
• 29:26
  to shop for their kids. I mean, there's a lot of
• 29:29
  reasons. I don't think any parent
• 29:32
  knowingly or wantingly wants to give up.
• 29:35
  But we sometimes people take their life experiences from when
• 29:41
  they were growing up and they copy and pasted and they aren't
• 29:44
  able to break a cycle. So they they perceive parenthood
• 29:47
  to be a hard thing. They don't necessarily deal with
• 29:53
  their own baggages or stories that they came from.
• 29:57
  And so it's hard. And then the other parents where
• 30:00
  they go, hey, this is this is how I grew up.
• 30:03
  It was great, but I feel like I can do it differently.
• 30:06
  I feel like I want more from it. And I feel that you have a duty
• 30:12
  and responsibility to show up in the best way, shape, and form
• 30:16
  that you can. And there is no right or wrong
• 30:18
  way if your intentions are honorable and good and full of
• 30:23
  love and it's full of nurture and it's full of fun.
• 30:26
  And of course, you've got to have rules and and boundaries in
• 30:29
  place. But this is a beautiful time, as
• 30:32
  you know right now. And your days are very long,
• 30:35
  right? But these years are so few, and
• 30:39
  then you're out of it. Everybody's sleeping and
• 30:42
  everybody's eating and everybody's at sport and
• 30:44
  everybody's got friends and the bat mitzvahs and bar mitzvahs
• 30:47
  and celebrations and everything's happening, right.
• 30:50
  And, and then all those years that you would.
• 30:54
  I wish this part would hurry up. They're gone.
• 30:57
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 30:59
  Do you remember the movie? Did you watch the Adam Sandler
• 31:01
  movie? Click.
• 31:01
  Do you remember that movie? Vaguely, but I.
• 31:05
  The premise of the movie, it's supposed to be a comedy.
• 31:07
  I watched it, I watched it once and I never revisited because it
• 31:11
  made me cry and feel so intensely that I was like, I'm
• 31:14
  not prepared. I don't know if I'm ever willing
• 31:16
  to do that to myself again. But it's a Adam Sandler comedy
• 31:21
  drama ish. Then the premise is that you get
• 31:23
  this remote that you could like Fast forward his way through
• 31:25
  life, but he can't go back at a certain point.
• 31:30
  And so, and then the thing learns from him and so learns
• 31:33
  what to skip and learns what to deal with or not.
• 31:35
  And he skips his fights with his wife initially and he's having
• 31:38
  so much fun with it and he's skipping, you know, having to
• 31:40
  pick his kid up from school. I don't want to deal with that.
• 31:41
  Let me just Fast forward to when that's over.
• 31:43
  And then at the end, like, and then basically he skipped all of
• 31:48
  his responsibilities, which was essentially his whole life.
• 31:51
  And then he just woke up and he was an old man.
• 31:53
  He was about to die and like, and that was it, you know, and I
• 31:57
  mean, it wasn't a very subtle metaphor at all.
• 32:00
  You know, I mean, it was extremely not subtle in a very
• 32:05
  Adam Sandler kind of way. But, you know, I, I, I remember,
• 32:08
  I think I was maybe 1615 or 16 years old and I was in my room.
• 32:12
  It was like 9 to 10:00 PM Saturday night and I'm just
• 32:15
  bawling my eyes out and, and, and I was like, I don't want
• 32:19
  that to happen to me. I don't want that to happen to
• 32:20
  me. But time is something I always
• 32:22
  had, I think, since one of my biggest fears in general in life
• 32:25
  is that I'm going to run out of time before I do everything I
• 32:29
  want to do. And so I try to cram everything
• 32:32
  in all the time, which leads to burnout a lot.
• 32:38
  But I'm learning to balance that and change the mentality that by
• 32:45
  burning out, I'm actually holding myself back longer than
• 32:48
  if I just let myself go a little easier, you know, while I'm
• 32:53
  going and. Also, being in the moment, you
• 32:56
  know it's right. It's like always being behind
• 33:00
  the camera, capturing the perfect moment.
• 33:02
  But the moment came and went, yes.
• 33:05
  Yes, and you. Present.
• 33:07
  That's right. That's right.
• 33:08
  I've noticed that, yeah, the last, the last probably 2 1/2
• 33:12
  few months of my life had been, had been like that.
• 33:18
  And I hear and I, I guess it's a good thing to talk about.
• 33:22
  And I think that it's really important and relatable.
• 33:24
  And I think that a lot of people have this, you know, have this
• 33:26
  feeling too. So I don't even feel like I even
• 33:30
  can cut anything out to like make my, to be, I don't know
• 33:34
  where to be even begin to make myself be more present in the
• 33:37
  moment. You know, like I think that
• 33:39
  being in the moment requires effort, right.
• 33:43
  But if you're burnt out because you're expanding all your effort
• 33:46
  on other things, but I just don't know what to cut out.
• 33:50
  I can't cut out being a husband. I can't cut out working.
• 33:52
  I can't cut out being a dad, you know, I can't cut out being
• 33:54
  healthy and exercising, you know?
• 33:56
  So like, it's, I think I understand why a lot of people
• 33:59
  feel that way, you know? Yeah.
• 34:02
  And and I think again, it's being, it's you've got to be
• 34:04
  gentle on yourself and be calm to yourself and prioritize like
• 34:08
  everything you want to do to have to do it today.
• 34:12
  You know, can you space it out? I know a little while ago when
• 34:16
  you and I had a chat, you said Shabbos is such a special time
• 34:19
  for you because it's your time to connect with your family and
• 34:24
  your community and spend time together.
• 34:27
  And if 124 hour period in a week affords you that, you're a rich
• 34:33
  man you. Think so.
• 34:35
  Absolutely right. People live in the same home.
• 34:41
  People can go days and weeks without talking, just the
• 34:45
  mundanities of life and, and, and, and, you know, your Shabbos
• 34:49
  gives you an opportunity to, to really, really connect to the
• 34:54
  deeper level because you're not watching TV, you're not on
• 34:57
  social media, You're not, you're not doing anything but being
• 35:01
  present with the people around you, having great conversations,
• 35:03
  playing games together, sharing memories, you know, talking
• 35:09
  about family times and things like that.
• 35:11
  It's, it's a special time. Yeah.
• 35:13
  Yeah. So that in.
• 35:15
  Itself is a great thing and and we do busy our lives and you
• 35:19
  know, like you said, you've got Instacart now you can order the
• 35:21
  meal and get to spend time and bath your baby and put him to
• 35:25
  bed at night, right? And if you go to grocery
• 35:27
  shopping, you wouldn't be able to do that.
• 35:29
  So I think it's about also picking and choosing where your
• 35:33
  priorities actually lie. And you don't have to do
• 35:36
  everything every day. It's some things that you can
• 35:41
  just skim a little bit of, but not when it comes to your health
• 35:43
  and well-being. You know that would be a
• 35:46
  priority they. Want to talk about that a little
• 35:48
  bit should we talk about health and well-being a little bit
• 35:50
  sure, sure. Well, why don't you, why don't
• 35:53
  you lead the way of what you think a typical healthy day for
• 35:56
  the average Joe should be? Or you could tell me about your
• 35:59
  healthy day that you that your ideal healthy day.
• 36:02
  So. For me, my my typical healthy
• 36:05
  day is waking up from a good night's sleep, right?
• 36:10
  And for me, that's your. Your good day starts the
• 36:13
  previous night. Exactly right.
• 36:16
  Because it sets the tempo for my day.
• 36:18
  If I've had a good night's sleep and I've had good recovery, I
• 36:22
  wake up, I'm I'm feeling energized, I'm feeling motivated
• 36:26
  and I'll have some of my supplements and water and a good
• 36:32
  cup of coffee and I'll go down to what supplements.
• 36:34
  Do you take like vitamins I take?
• 36:36
  Vitamins, I have a lot of them. Well, I've got a few of my
• 36:42
  toolbox that I do like to take Yeah, I take vitamins and I take
• 36:47
  some supplements. I really like rehydrate and one
• 36:51
  of my favorite bean elements. I find that it really boosts me.
• 36:56
  I I did you feel a tangible. Difference in your day when you
• 36:59
  started with elements or not completely.
• 37:02
  Really, I really, really do. I, I think that balance of, of
• 37:06
  sodium and, and the electrolytes and everything just it fuels my
• 37:11
  body, it nourishes my body. It definitely helps me with
• 37:14
  focus and it gives me energy. So if I.
• 37:18
  If I were to wake up right, I, I, I like, I prefer to jog in
• 37:21
  the morning, especially this time of year, right.
• 37:22
  It's well. Outside.
• 37:25
  You know, so it's either early morning or late at late at
• 37:27
  night, I wake up, I roll over, have a cup of water with
• 37:32
  elements in it. And immediately it's good.
• 37:37
  You know, I'm energized for my run or I, I, I, I feel like I'm
• 37:41
  like it has an immediate impact on my overall performance.
• 37:44
  Mm Hmm. Yeah, you feel that way.
• 37:46
  Because I mean, I feel that way. No, no, I haven't.
• 37:48
  Taken element before actually. I'm asking.
• 37:50
  No, I'm asking. Yeah, I'm asking.
• 37:52
  Yeah, absolutely. So I definitely do.
• 37:57
  It technically energizes me. I, I feel like my body's
• 38:00
  nourished enough for me to go out and train in the morning,
• 38:02
  whether to run with I'm doing strength training, whether I'm
• 38:06
  just going for a walk, whatever I do for me, it definitely
• 38:11
  works. So I'll wake up, I'll do that,
• 38:14
  I'll have my coffee with my collagen in it and I'll go for a
• 38:20
  workout with, as I said, that's strength training, a run on the
• 38:24
  bike, whatever I'm going to do. I just love the process of
• 38:27
  moving my body. I love feeling strong.
• 38:30
  I love feeling vibrant. So having a good workout.
• 38:34
  And I'm also at the stage in my life where if I can only get 20
• 38:38
  minutes in or 30 minutes in today, it's good enough.
• 38:41
  I'd rather go do that than not do anything, you know, come back
• 38:45
  and take a shower and have a good protein rich meal.
• 38:50
  For me, protein is really the the food that sustains me and I
• 38:57
  feel it builds muscle. For me it and it just give a
• 39:01
  big. Breakfast, a Big Breakfast or a
• 39:04
  medium sized breakfast or like or do you have a big lunch?
• 39:06
  How do you how do you space out your meals so.
• 39:09
  Typically I have three meals a day and I eat like a king for
• 39:14
  breakfast for lunch and a pauper for dinner.
• 39:18
  And yeah, I'm least hungry by the end of the day.
• 39:21
  And the the beginning part of the day is I'm like super
• 39:25
  hungry. And if I get the right macros in
• 39:27
  in the morning, I'm golden for the day.
• 39:30
  If I don't eat rats in the morning, the rest of the day.
• 39:33
  Eggs. Yogurts, you know, stuff like
• 39:35
  that. So no I.
• 39:36
  I pretty much eat more of AI love smoothies with like chia
• 39:42
  seeds and flax seeds in it and good protein powder nut butter.
• 39:46
  So fiber, you know, fat fiber, protein.
• 39:50
  I get all of that in in and I found that that satiates me.
• 39:54
  And then lunch is always a protein and vegetables and and
• 39:59
  dinner again, something lighter, but protein and and vegetable
• 40:03
  heavy for me. So I choose that it works for
• 40:06
  me. It sustains my muscles.
• 40:09
  It it helps me with with muscle growth, especially being I'm in
• 40:13
  my 50s. So you know, for a woman to to
• 40:18
  protect her body as she gets older and for a man as well, you
• 40:22
  need protein, you need strong bones, you need strong muscles.
• 40:25
  You've got to be able to carry your body weight.
• 40:29
  And your your nutrition feeds into that.
• 40:32
  I'm very much eating the rainbow.
• 40:36
  I don't, I don't subscribe to processed foods at all.
• 40:39
  I don't, yeah, I don't do processed foods.
• 40:43
  I try and limit sugar as much as possible.
• 40:45
  I do read labels. I'm one of those people that you
• 40:48
  ever get. Sick.
• 40:51
  Thank God, not often. I'm, I'm healthy and and and I
• 40:56
  monitor my my, my metabolic health very, very closely.
• 41:00
  Oh, do you? Yeah, I really do.
• 41:03
  And how do you do? That how does someone measure
• 41:06
  their how does someone keep track of their metabolic health
• 41:09
  so. I use I have a functional
• 41:11
  medicine doctor, so I prefer to go down that route than than a
• 41:15
  traditional doctor. I like to understand the science
• 41:19
  behind things and I, I love to understand how my body is
• 41:22
  working and almost have a helicopter view, not just
• 41:25
  looking at, I've come in with a sore throat.
• 41:27
  Well, here we go. Off you go.
• 41:29
  You know, I kind of want to understand the whole ecosystem
• 41:32
  of my body. So I have my bloods done every
• 41:35
  six months, OK. And I use a company called
• 41:40
  function Health and they they put it in the dashboard for me
• 41:44
  and I'm able to track and monitor you sound like.
• 41:47
  A Huberman advertisement element and function and everything like
• 41:51
  that. I don't know.
• 41:52
  Well, I'm I'm not trying to. Be.
• 41:55
  I know it's. Excellent.
• 41:56
  I think it's amazing. It's amazing that you keep track
• 41:58
  of all this because I think that I noticed.
• 42:02
  I want you to continue to suck. I just noticed that when you
• 42:06
  hear at first about everything that you're doing, it's the most
• 42:09
  overwhelming thing in the world. And I think that in reality,
• 42:14
  it's just, if you just think I just want to be a little bit
• 42:17
  healthier today than I was yesterday.
• 42:18
  And like you just live every day like that.
• 42:20
  You kind of find that you kind of fall into a general pattern
• 42:23
  that's pretty easy to maintain anyway.
• 42:25
  Like I'm sure you don't think very much about how difficult
• 42:28
  your routine is to maintain while you're doing it every day
• 42:31
  all the time. You're like, this is what I
• 42:33
  like, I love to do this and it feels good.
• 42:34
  And you know you're being healthy and taking care of
• 42:35
  yourself. Absolutely.
• 42:37
  And you know, I think if you want anything in life, the hard
• 42:40
  work's never the hard part, right?
• 42:44
  It's committing to it. And I often tell people it's
• 42:47
  progress over perfection. Don't be hard on yourself.
• 42:50
  I was having a chat with the gentleman yesterday and he was
• 42:53
  saying, well, I lost 90 lbs two years ago, and then two weeks
• 42:58
  ago I started again. But then I remember when I lost
• 43:01
  the 90 lbs, the one night I had a peanut butter and Jelly
• 43:04
  sandwich. And then I fell off the wagon
• 43:07
  and I said, and he said, well then I let the wagon roll away
• 43:11
  and I said, and he said, and then I just let it all go.
• 43:14
  And I said, why? Why didn't you just enjoy the
• 43:16
  peanut butter and Jelly sandwich and your next meal get back on
• 43:19
  it? And I, I do feel that people are
• 43:23
  very hard on themselves and if they're not committed 105,000%
• 43:27
  then it's just not good enough. And so then why even do it?
• 43:30
  And it's as you say, and every day just committing to being
• 43:34
  healthier is, is what I strive for.
• 43:37
  So I don't see it as as work, but I see the benefits in my
• 43:41
  body and, and where I'm at at my age and where I want to go.
• 43:45
  And I want to I want to age young so.
• 43:49
  I think, I think and there's no doubt you will, right?
• 43:51
  I mean, I can't imagine anything.
• 43:54
  I mean, and you go the rest of your day, the rest of this ideal
• 43:57
  healthy day, but nothing in this says you shouldn't be running
• 44:00
  around. So you're 110 years, you know,
• 44:02
  110 years old if you keep doing this, you know, I mean, as long
• 44:05
  as. You're healthy.
• 44:06
  I mean, there's no point watching 110 if you're not
• 44:08
  healthy. Right, right.
• 44:09
  So my grandfather was 92 or three and he was walking 3 or 4
• 44:14
  miles a day. He lived alone, took care of
• 44:16
  himself, cleaned, cleaned the house himself and, and you know,
• 44:22
  and he just always took care and he always ate like he was never
• 44:26
  crazy about anything. He's always ate clean and very
• 44:28
  simple and went for his walks and took care of everything and
• 44:31
  did jumping jacks. And 9293 was just totally,
• 44:34
  totally healthy. So I can't imagine that like
• 44:37
  living, you know, avoiding processed foods, moving around,
• 44:41
  you know, by the way, taking vitamins is something I like, I
• 44:45
  started, I started doing it. I look forward to it.
• 44:46
  Like I'm excited about it. And I feel I've never felt older
• 44:50
  than when I say that, but like it's true.
• 44:52
  And like, you know, like I, I take vitamin D and vitamin C and
• 44:56
  iron and, and it's actually probably one of the things I
• 45:01
  feel like talk about how, how you actually feel the impact.
• 45:07
  I've combated getting sick so many times in the last month,
• 45:11
  month and 1/2 with just making sure to get a good night's
• 45:14
  sleep. You know, like when I really
• 45:16
  feel like the waves about to crash down on me, I get a good
• 45:18
  night's sleep. I take the, you know, I take, I
• 45:21
  take my vitamins every day and I get, you know, I get outside to
• 45:24
  get some fresh air and it just pushes it off and pushes it off
• 45:28
  and it slowly, slowly recedes each day and then you're back to
• 45:30
  normal again. It's crazy.
• 45:32
  It's really amazing. And, and again, you taking care
• 45:36
  of yourself, you're listening to your body, you're getting sleep,
• 45:39
  you're getting outside, you're getting natural sunlight, you're
• 45:42
  getting fresh air and you're listening to your body.
• 45:46
  And especially at your stage, it's very, very challenging
• 45:48
  because your kids are so young. So they coming home with
• 45:53
  especially the the older one. I'm sure he's in Krish in play
• 45:58
  school. So he's he's coming home with
• 46:01
  all the bugs. So your immune system is is
• 46:03
  farting as much as his little immune system is.
• 46:06
  So to keep yourself healthy is is amazing and well.
• 46:12
  I'm not going to work, you know you're doing.
• 46:15
  We can carry on. Yeah, protecting our guts and,
• 46:18
  and, and building our immunity is critical.
• 46:21
  And exercising, moving our bodies is a gift and it's a
• 46:25
  superpower, you know. So if you can carry on doing all
• 46:29
  those things and and throwing in some extra things, if you have
• 46:32
  access to a sauna or to a cold plunge or just standing under a
• 46:36
  cold shower, do you do that? You do.
• 46:38
  You saw it on Cold Plunge. I do.
• 46:40
  I do. I used to be a lot better at
• 46:43
  cold plunging, but my body absolutely loves the heat, so I
• 46:48
  really go for the heat. I love.
• 46:53
  I love the detox, the detoxification of a sauna.
• 46:57
  I love the muscle recovery that I feel when I'm in the sauna.
• 47:00
  I feel like relaxed. I know it's good for me.
• 47:02
  Cardiovascular and, and if the red light therapy's in there, I
• 47:07
  know it's good for my skin and you know, so I love that kind of
• 47:11
  thing. The cold's amazing as well, the
• 47:13
  rush of endorphins and if you've got aches and pains, it's, it's
• 47:17
  really great for bringing down inflammatory, your inflammation
• 47:21
  in your body. So all those different
• 47:23
  modalities just play into that whole ecosystem of living a
• 47:27
  healthy life. You know, none of them are 100%
• 47:31
  essential, that if you can throw them in, they're great.
• 47:36
  Yeah. So when you're coaching people
• 47:42
  all this, it's so funny because all this sounds like a lot and I
• 47:45
  understand where you're everyone, everyone in the
• 47:47
  world's coming from. Because I was this way, my, my
• 47:49
  wife kind of got on the like, I always wanted to be healthy.
• 47:53
  About two years ago, a year and a half ago, I went to the doctor
• 47:56
  and I'm 64 and they're like give out and they're like you're
• 48:00
  about, you're 225. You're just, you're just on the
• 48:04
  edge of overweight. I just there and like just below
• 48:08
  it. But like you're vet, you're
• 48:09
  close to it. And so I was like, you know, I
• 48:11
  just want to be healthy. I don't need to be in perfect
• 48:13
  shape. I don't need to be anything
• 48:14
  crazy. I just want to be a little, I
• 48:15
  want to be healthy. So I started jogging and I
• 48:18
  started just cutting out stupid bread that I knew I didn't need.
• 48:21
  And then like in that, I began getting exposed to how bad the
• 48:26
  processed foods that we eat in general were.
• 48:28
  And I saw the almost literally, almost immediate impact of the
• 48:32
  combination of jogging and just cutting out of the processed
• 48:36
  foods. And I was like, this is
• 48:38
  incredible. And then my wife was like, well,
• 48:39
  we used to go for get rid of our, our seed oils.
• 48:43
  And I'm like, I don't know about that.
• 48:45
  And she was like, I used to get he used to get rid of your beer.
• 48:47
  And I'm like, I don't know about that.
• 48:51
  I used to take vitamins and like, and each step along the
• 48:54
  way I was like, you're going to, you know, this is just going a
• 48:57
  little too far. It's a little too crazy, you
• 48:59
  know, for me. And then every single time,
• 49:01
  like, but I always feel better and like there's always
• 49:03
  something I like I want to do. And I'm like, wait a minute,
• 49:05
  when I feel so much better, I have more energy to do more
• 49:09
  things. I'm always running around and
• 49:11
  like, I, you know, again, I teach, I, I teach, I do sales, I
• 49:15
  do the podcast. I, I'm part of my community.
• 49:18
  I, I, I go to synagogue 323 times a day.
• 49:21
  I, you know, I'm, I'm constantly on the go and I need every
• 49:24
  advantage I can get, you know, so like, and so I, I stopped
• 49:29
  even thinking about it like crazy or not.
• 49:31
  And I'm just thinking like, oh, how can I be better?
• 49:33
  Like, how can, how, how can this help me get, you know, even
• 49:37
  better and even better than before?
• 49:39
  So I think that that's great for me to have realized that.
• 49:44
  But for a lot of people especially that need a or want a
• 49:47
  coach or like incentivize to get a coach, I could imagine that
• 49:52
  it's a uphill battle for you right to convince them to to
• 49:57
  start changing their their ways, especially if they don't want to
• 50:00
  do it themselves to begin with necessarily.
• 50:03
  So, you know, people that come looking for coach actually do
• 50:07
  want to make a change. They don't have the time to just
• 50:12
  chat to somebody for the sake of chatting it chatting to them.
• 50:15
  And you know that one small change leads to the next change,
• 50:20
  which leads to the next change. And before you realize what
• 50:23
  you're doing, you're, you're in the ecosystem of becoming
• 50:27
  healthier and healthier and healthier.
• 50:30
  And as you start feeling stronger and healthier and more
• 50:34
  capable, and you feel like you're making the right
• 50:37
  decisions for your body and you can see the results thereof,
• 50:44
  there's nothing stopping them, right?
• 50:46
  But it's it's helping them to to break those limiting beliefs
• 50:50
  that exactly like that gentleman yesterday.
• 50:53
  Well, if I had one bad meal, that's it.
• 50:55
  It's broken. I can't carry out.
• 50:56
  Well, of course you can. You're bigger than that, right?
• 50:59
  So it's helping breaking. Well, I only get to this and
• 51:02
  then I revert back and I put on those 20 lbs again, breaking
• 51:05
  those limiting beliefs, helping them to understand how to read a
• 51:10
  label, a simple thing like a label, if it's got, if you can't
• 51:13
  pronounce it, you shouldn't put it in your body, right?
• 51:16
  That's one of the most. Sad things that I ever started
• 51:19
  doing and it makes everything so much more challenging.
• 51:21
  It's so hard. But but we put things in in our
• 51:25
  bodies that that are almost nuclear factor level.
• 51:29
  I mean, yeah, yeah. And and so when you start
• 51:33
  helping people to to break these limiting beliefs, you help
• 51:37
  educate them on what they want, understanding what they want,
• 51:41
  and then helping them to take the steps towards it.
• 51:45
  And they start seeing the results and they start making
• 51:48
  themselves a priority. Like your wife said, I'm making
• 51:51
  myself a priority. Why don't we do this?
• 51:54
  And you, you, you got on the program and together you almost
• 51:59
  accountability coaches to each other, right?
• 52:02
  Yeah. Yes or no?
• 52:07
  Well, I wouldn't say to each other, but I, I have an
• 52:09
  accountability coach, yes. So, you know, you got an
• 52:13
  accountability coach and that's what helps you and the decisions
• 52:16
  that you're making and, and the progress that you're making is
• 52:20
  going to impact your children's lives as well.
• 52:22
  So when somebody comes and they start making these changes and,
• 52:26
  and they feel empowered and they feel like they're really making
• 52:29
  a difference and the metrics start changing and, and they're
• 52:33
  feeling vibrant and they're feeling healthier.
• 52:35
  They want to go to the next level.
• 52:37
  But people do need to be held accountable and people do need a
• 52:41
  sounding board and then letting them know that they need to self
• 52:44
  advocate. So if you, if you're unwell and
• 52:48
  you are going to the doctor and you're seeking medical help,
• 52:52
  educate yourself. Go and do the research, go and
• 52:55
  ask questions. It helps with you getting to
• 52:58
  know your body. It helps getting to know whether
• 53:00
  the person that is taking care of your health alongside you is
• 53:04
  as invested in you as you are. And so there's so many different
• 53:09
  levels to the coaching that's interesting.
• 53:12
  That's a really, really that last sentence that you just
• 53:15
  said. Make sure the person that is
• 53:17
  across from you is as invested in your health as you are.
• 53:20
  That's, that's the entire, that's people's entire problem
• 53:24
  with the medical world today is that we don't feel like that's
• 53:27
  the case or people are losing trust in the fact that's the
• 53:30
  case. Yep, exactly.
• 53:36
  Thanks to to find that person. And it's OK if you change a
• 53:41
  doctor and a doctor and a doctor and doctor.
• 53:44
  You keep changing until you find that person that is as invested
• 53:48
  in you as you are in yourself. Because together you got to
• 53:53
  navigate the rest of your life right, and you've got to make
• 53:58
  the right decisions for your health.
• 54:02
  Yeah, I was talking to a doctor. I'll send you the episode that I
• 54:07
  did with her. I think I told you about this.
• 54:09
  I think we talked about this Allison Lovett and and and we're
• 54:14
  saying that you need, you know, I think you should have a doctor
• 54:17
  of of health and a doctor of medicine.
• 54:19
  You know, you have a doctor of, of someone that could prescribe
• 54:22
  you, you know, medications, you know, for when you do need it
• 54:26
  because we, there obviously is a need for that.
• 54:28
  But a doctor of health is someone that cares about your
• 54:31
  health as much as they care as much as you do.
• 54:33
  And someone that wants to be, you know, like one of the things
• 54:36
  that my grandfather, who was AGI for many, many years, one of the
• 54:39
  things that he lamented towards the end of his life was that he
• 54:43
  was, he lived, he one of the, one of the things he loved about
• 54:46
  being a doctor was his relationship to his patients.
• 54:48
  And towards the end of his career, the, the hospital,
• 54:51
  wouldn't, you know, and obviously they have to protect
• 54:54
  themselves. Lawsuits all the time, every
• 54:57
  day, every minute of every day. I totally, I, I, I, I, I
• 55:00
  wouldn't know what to do if I were on, if I were their size.
• 55:03
  Maybe the answer is not to get to their size.
• 55:04
  I don't know. But you know, but he, he would
• 55:07
  lament and he's like, you know, now I can't even, I'm not even
• 55:09
  allowed to know who my, I barely know.
• 55:11
  My patients can't contact me, you know, like I, I'm not
• 55:14
  allowed to go see them if, if I'm not the doctor on call, he's
• 55:18
  like, and then they end up having to explain this.
• 55:19
  And imagine having to explain yourself, your medical history
• 55:22
  to someone 10 times in 10 years or five years.
• 55:26
  And what if you forget something?
• 55:27
  What if one doctor knows you better?
• 55:29
  It's like, oh, wait, didn't you used to smoke 10 years ago?
• 55:31
  And you just, you know, you forgot to bring that up or, you
• 55:33
  know, didn't you say that you started taking XY and Z and
• 55:35
  like, oh, right, right, right. But you don't have that
• 55:38
  opportunity. So many people fall through the
• 55:39
  cracks otherwise, you know, and so I think that a doctor of
• 55:43
  health would be I guess that's what you call health coach, you
• 55:46
  know, I mean, it's really what what you what you'd want, I
• 55:50
  guess, But I think that they should be way more regular for a
• 55:53
  lot of people. So I mean a.
• 55:55
  Lot of doctors now do work or having their practices and
• 55:59
  health coaches for that exact reason.
• 56:01
  Yeah, we do. It's Yeah.
• 56:03
  You know, people just don't want a script, right?
• 56:06
  You want to understand what can you do alongside that script or
• 56:10
  without that script in place to get to your health goals.
• 56:14
  And to your point, doctors, it's become like a sausage machine.
• 56:19
  They have to see X amount of patients and there's so many
• 56:21
  barriers in place for you to build a natural rapport with
• 56:25
  that doctor. So it's very, very difficult.
• 56:28
  But that doesn't negate the fact that the doctor, when he is
• 56:32
  sitting or she's sitting across from you, listens to you and it
• 56:37
  asks you to self advocate and allows you to question and not
• 56:40
  just be dogmatical. This is, but we don't.
• 56:42
  Have, I don't think we have a lot of either unfortunately, or
• 56:45
  at least in the States, because in the states, the health crisis
• 56:48
  being the way that it is, I would, and I don't, I don't, I,
• 56:53
  I'm not, I don't want to make you even seem a little bit like
• 56:56
  I'm putting any kind of blame on anybody in this scenario.
• 56:58
  But the way that we, you know, especially myself, the way I
• 57:01
  think about a doctor is I have a body and a doctor is a personal
• 57:06
  mechanic, you know, And so like, you know, if my arm hurts, then
• 57:09
  like I go to the doctor and he gives me something and makes my
• 57:11
  arm feel better. And then I move on with my life.
• 57:13
  And like, I don't think about why my arm hurt.
• 57:15
  I don't think about what happens after.
• 57:17
  I don't think how long, what the medication is.
• 57:18
  I'm like, he's a doctor. It's his job to be a personal
• 57:21
  mechanic. And I'm there, you know, And so
• 57:24
  I spent most, I spent 2827 years of my life not thinking about,
• 57:30
  you know, doctors as anything but people, mechanics.
• 57:33
  And I think that a lot of a lot of people in this country think
• 57:36
  about them like that. And so the question I think that
• 57:40
  you, I don't think a lot of people are coming at going to a
• 57:43
  doctor from a place of is this maintenance for my body as
• 57:48
  opposed to like, I just need a quick fix and like this is
• 57:52
  inconvenient for me. So I want to be in and out of
• 57:53
  here and be better tomorrow because I have to go back to
• 57:55
  work and take care of my kids or whatever, you know.
• 57:57
  And so I think that's what the I think that's a bit.
• 57:59
  And so even doctors that would be willing to listen, you know,
• 58:02
  aren't even getting clientele or patients that are even sitting
• 58:05
  in and opening up to them necessarily, you know, well, I
• 58:08
  think. You know, a lot of people have
• 58:10
  shifted to functional meds and doctors looking for that more
• 58:16
  holistic and whole body approach.
• 58:19
  I hope so, yeah. I mean, I see a lot of people
• 58:22
  and people that haven't are very curious and are looking into it
• 58:26
  and and are wanting to understand it more.
• 58:28
  And there's a place for traditional doctors.
• 58:32
  Absolutely. They save lives.
• 58:34
  They they are an an incredibly important pillar of our society.
• 58:39
  But you don't go into a doctor's room with high cholesterol for
• 58:43
  him just to give you a statin and walk out.
• 58:46
  And for me, you know, that doctor needs to be educating you
• 58:50
  and making lifestyle choices, right, about implementing
• 58:55
  healthy lifestyle changes, exercise, diet, stress
• 58:59
  management, breath work and stress reduction, all these kind
• 59:03
  of things. And with the number of patients
• 59:06
  doctors are having to see, they don't have the luxury of doing
• 59:09
  that. So part of the system allows
• 59:13
  them to be effective and part of the system doesn't allow them to
• 59:17
  be effective. But those in private practice
• 59:19
  need to take the time to give the patients that kind of level
• 59:23
  of treatment. It's not about going in for
• 59:25
  script. And so if your cholesterol
• 59:27
  continues to rise, what, you just get a higher dose of
• 59:29
  medication, right? I well, I hope not, but I think
• 59:33
  a lot of people think so. So so.
• 59:34
  That's my point about self advocating, you know, is points
• 59:39
  I think. We're and we're, we're, we're
• 59:40
  hitting a turning point because people, like you said, I think
• 59:43
  people are. I think that though, where I
• 59:44
  think it's funny, again, you know, political, anything
• 59:48
  political aside, RFK ran a platform meant for presidency on
• 59:54
  a platform of we're sick, we should be healthier.
• 59:57
  And like no one like it's not about Medicaid, it's not about
• 1:00:01
  health insurance. It's not about like, it's not
• 1:00:03
  about who's paying whose insurance bills or who's paying
• 1:00:06
  whose medical bills or whose student loan bills.
• 1:00:07
  He's like, our kids are sick, we're sick, we're not healthy,
• 1:00:12
  we need to change. And like, again, political or
• 1:00:15
  not any like it's just fascinating that, that, that,
• 1:00:17
  and not even is it fascinating. It shows that it's.
• 1:00:21
  It's in the zeitgeist, like people are thinking about it.
• 1:00:23
  People are aware of that and people's attention are brought
• 1:00:25
  to it. So much so that it had a
• 1:00:28
  significant sway on, on an election, you know, and that
• 1:00:32
  should hopefully be a we can read the, the, the we could, we
• 1:00:37
  could put our finger on the pulse of the country and be
• 1:00:39
  like, whoa, like that means something, You know, people
• 1:00:43
  don't want to feel like crap. Absolutely.
• 1:00:46
  And we live in an age where so much is available to us, right?
• 1:00:52
  And we can, we can look into anything we want to look into.
• 1:00:56
  We can get as much information as we want to.
• 1:00:59
  Every doctor is accessible today via podcasts, via a book, via a
• 1:01:05
  a Ted talk, a YouTube channel, whatever else.
• 1:01:08
  We have so much available to us that the surprising thing is so
• 1:01:13
  few people know where to look that that tide is changing.
• 1:01:17
  People are becoming more educated and the more educated
• 1:01:20
  people are becoming with regards to their health and being, it's
• 1:01:24
  a cliched term, the CEO of their own health, the more empowered
• 1:01:29
  they are too push towards change, wanting change where
• 1:01:34
  Kennedy can stand up and, and say and do as he has and people
• 1:01:38
  rallying behind it because people are tired of being sick.
• 1:01:42
  People are tired of spending the last 20 years of their life in
• 1:01:45
  ill health and not enjoying what you know, the labours of, of, of
• 1:01:50
  the fruit are. So people are driving more and
• 1:01:54
  more and wanting more and more and, and the medical system is
• 1:01:57
  going to have to change with them because people are
• 1:02:01
  demanding it and people. Are also retroactive myself
• 1:02:05
  included retroactively upset that like this was even allowed
• 1:02:08
  to be in the food to begin with you know like like that that
• 1:02:11
  that that also you know like it's funny I I went to Trader
• 1:02:14
  Joe's the other day and I'm you know and I'm in AI see my
• 1:02:18
  favorite snack and it's one of those snacks like that survived
• 1:02:21
  like the purge in terms of all them but like we never examined
• 1:02:25
  too closely because it always like had a relatively healthy
• 1:02:27
  looking name or label and I looked at the back and I'm like
• 1:02:31
  oh man it hurts my heart to think that I've been putting
• 1:02:34
  this in my butt Oh my gosh I know and I was like.
• 1:02:39
  And. You feel I felt betrayed.
• 1:02:41
  I'm like, oh man, I thought you were my friend.
• 1:02:44
  I thought these like, you know, thin men balls were like my
• 1:02:47
  friend, you know, these were they the Girl Scout, The Girl
• 1:02:51
  Scout cookies in little bite sized balls that were just like
• 1:02:55
  you really. Thought that was going to be
• 1:02:56
  healthy. You were just kidding, I
• 1:02:59
  thought. That if you put the word real in
• 1:03:00
  front of it, that it works out. Can you, can we talk a little
• 1:03:06
  bit about what it was like growing up in South Africa?
• 1:03:09
  Yeah. So growing up in South Africa
• 1:03:11
  was was it was a beautiful time. We didn't have anything about
• 1:03:18
  the. Country, by the way, so you
• 1:03:20
  could I, I have like I would love to be educated about
• 1:03:23
  generally the country overall. So if you want to put in as much
• 1:03:26
  commentary context for color, I would love to hear it.
• 1:03:29
  So South Africa is, is really a beautiful country.
• 1:03:34
  It's very small in comparison to the US, but it's a very rich in
• 1:03:38
  culture. We, we, we had a very colonial
• 1:03:43
  and very European influence in South Africa.
• 1:03:47
  And it is very, very diverse, but in a, in a very positive
• 1:03:54
  and, and beautiful way. Growing up was very much farm to
• 1:03:58
  table kind of food. I mean, we of course we went out
• 1:04:03
  for dinners, but they were to proper restaurants and proper
• 1:04:06
  food. And you know, you if you wanted
• 1:04:08
  a hamburger, you had a hamburger at home and it was with pure
• 1:04:12
  ground beef and and you know, real lettuce that only lasts for
• 1:04:17
  four days in your fridge and not for six weeks.
• 1:04:21
  No genetically modified yet. Growing up very it was clean
• 1:04:26
  there. It was so food, food.
• 1:04:27
  There was much cleaner Much. Cleaner, much cleaner, good
• 1:04:31
  farming practices back when I was growing up and very good
• 1:04:36
  quality food. Even now when, when I do go back
• 1:04:39
  to South Africa to visit, I'm always taken by the quality of
• 1:04:42
  the food. And I mean we, we export so
• 1:04:45
  much. Our fruit is, is incredible.
• 1:04:47
  Our wands are world renowned, our mountains are Cape Town is,
• 1:04:52
  is world renowned. But growing up was, was, was
• 1:04:57
  incredibly wholesome, very diverse.
• 1:05:01
  As I said, I, I grew up in the apartheid era of South Africa.
• 1:05:05
  So I was very shielded and very privileged in, in the
• 1:05:08
  environment that I grew up in. And when I had my oldest son was
• 1:05:13
  was when the tide started turning and and democracy came
• 1:05:18
  in and even then just an incredibly rich country with
• 1:05:23
  regards to resources, minerals and and diversity of, of people.
• 1:05:30
  So South Africa is a beautiful country.
• 1:05:33
  I mean, wildlife and safaris, We, we call it going to the
• 1:05:38
  Bush, which is something we call it.
• 1:05:41
  Yeah, it's we, we go to the Bush and, and we absolutely love it.
• 1:05:46
  And you're close to nature and it's, it kind of feeds into what
• 1:05:49
  I do. You know, when you find joy and,
• 1:05:52
  and you find beauty and it fills your soul and it just resonates
• 1:05:56
  with you. Going back to South Africa doing
• 1:06:00
  that is just spectacular. Growing up, I mean I, I really
• 1:06:04
  had a beautiful upbringing riding my bike in the road and
• 1:06:07
  listening to my mother whistle at the end of the driveway.
• 1:06:09
  It was time to come home. No cell phones, no, no anything,
• 1:06:13
  just just enjoying being a child.
• 1:06:16
  And but when my kids were growing up that wasn't the case.
• 1:06:20
  They couldn't ride bicycles in the road.
• 1:06:23
  No, no. So unfortunately crime is quite
• 1:06:27
  high in South Africa and the politics is quite challenging in
• 1:06:32
  South Africa. So my what capacity?
• 1:06:35
  How's it, how's it complicated? How's it difficult?
• 1:06:38
  I guess I just don't know anything about it so.
• 1:06:42
  We went from a really strict apartheid era where it was run
• 1:06:49
  by the Nationalist Party to the when Mandela came out of prison
• 1:06:56
  and we moved over to democracy and the ANC came into power and
• 1:07:00
  whilst Mandela was alive, there was so much unity.
• 1:07:03
  I don't know if you remember the 22 in World Cup soccer.
• 1:07:07
  The whole world descended on South Africa.
• 1:07:10
  It was just such a an incredible time of happiness and positivity
• 1:07:16
  and within 25. 30 years of that. Yeah, so, well, not that many.
• 1:07:23
  And so, you know, things started changing and, and South Africa's
• 1:07:28
  political narrative was, was, was pretty much more 1 sided.
• 1:07:36
  And the, this whole unity prospect that, that we bought
• 1:07:40
  into and believe what was going to happen really didn't happen.
• 1:07:44
  And these huge disparities in, in the educational system, the
• 1:07:47
  government based educational system and the private school
• 1:07:50
  educational system. And you know, when you only need
• 1:07:55
  a 35 or 40% pass rate to pass the subject, you know, for me,
• 1:08:01
  that's worrying. You know, that's.
• 1:08:03
  Really you you need a 35 or 40% to pass the subject.
• 1:08:08
  Yep, certain subjects and, and. And that's really a problem, you
• 1:08:12
  know, so when you start seeing the disparities in the
• 1:08:15
  educational systems and you realize that my children went to
• 1:08:20
  private schools and, and they had the best of the best
• 1:08:22
  education. And the kids that come from
• 1:08:26
  underprivileged homes get a government education system.
• 1:08:31
  They don't necessarily always have books.
• 1:08:33
  They don't have flushing toilets.
• 1:08:35
  They don't. Yeah, they don't always have the
• 1:08:39
  right number of disks for every child.
• 1:08:42
  Some children have to walk kilometers and kilometers to get
• 1:08:46
  to school and back every single day.
• 1:08:49
  You know, a lot of young girls are pregnant that are still
• 1:08:52
  trying to finish school and have got children in daycare.
• 1:08:55
  So it's a hard system and it's it's a beautiful country with so
• 1:09:02
  many amazing resources, so much potential and people that
• 1:09:06
  despite this set of circumstances, smile and cannot
• 1:09:12
  offer enough of themselves to you.
• 1:09:14
  And you, you come across a South African, you will never know
• 1:09:19
  warmth and generosity of heart and soul as you would when you
• 1:09:24
  come to South Africa. So it's it's a country that is
• 1:09:30
  just so near and dear as as I said to to friends now living in
• 1:09:34
  the US, my soul is in Africa, in South Africa, my heart's here in
• 1:09:38
  the US. But they're two very different
• 1:09:41
  countries and they offer two very different things.
• 1:09:45
  And I think as South Africa is changing and and a coalition
• 1:09:53
  government has come into power now and things start balancing
• 1:09:58
  more from a political point of view, I think there will be some
• 1:10:01
  very positive changes. Right now we've got a failing
• 1:10:04
  infrastructure. Go for major power cuts, the
• 1:10:09
  water filtration system, major problems with that.
• 1:10:14
  So is it bureaucracy and or corruption that's stopping
• 1:10:20
  cleaning that up? Is that, is that typical?
• 1:10:22
  I mean, it's like that in America, right?
• 1:10:24
  You have certain cities in America.
• 1:10:25
  I can't even believe that this looks the way it does,
• 1:10:27
  considering what we what it could look like so easily with
• 1:10:31
  just a swipe of a pen or a snap of a finger, you know, snap of a
• 1:10:34
  finger. It could really just be like
• 1:10:36
  that. It feels the same way there.
• 1:10:38
  Absolutely. And that's why I'm saying as, as
• 1:10:42
  the, the coalition government is coming into place and the next
• 1:10:47
  few elections, I think will be very important to start
• 1:10:50
  eradicating that kind of behaviour and to, to get
• 1:10:54
  infrastructure back to where it needs to be.
• 1:10:57
  And you, you can't have people without electricity for days on
• 1:11:01
  end, for 8 hours a day. How do you feed children?
• 1:11:06
  How do you take care of of the aged population?
• 1:11:09
  I mean, potholes in roads and things like that.
• 1:11:12
  So as a, as a, as a South African, my, my, my hope and
• 1:11:19
  wishes is that my pray that they get to that point.
• 1:11:22
  And it's showing promising the results that it's it's moving in
• 1:11:27
  that direction, but it's going to take the next few elections
• 1:11:29
  to get to that point and to get crime under control.
• 1:11:33
  You know, when you've got people that are living, the vast
• 1:11:35
  majority of the population living under the bread line and
• 1:11:39
  people are desperate and they do desperate things.
• 1:11:43
  And you know, unfortunately, human life doesn't have a price,
• 1:11:49
  but it has a price. It does there.
• 1:11:52
  I I just watched. I just watched and then we'll go
• 1:11:56
  back to this. Why I don't forget it is there's
• 1:12:00
  a show called Traffic. Did you ever hear of it?
• 1:12:02
  It's on Hulu. And it's.
• 1:12:04
  So it's a woman who's an investigative journalist, her
• 1:12:07
  name is Marianna Van Zeller, I think.
• 1:12:09
  And she and each season, I think is like 10 or 14 episodes of
• 1:12:14
  individual cases of underground worlds that she investigates.
• 1:12:20
  So she's just like fentanyl, selling human body parts,
• 1:12:24
  organs, Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:12:26
  Yeah. And then, and then I just showed
• 1:12:27
  my class yesterday actually, that episode with, with, with
• 1:12:31
  hired mercenaries. And I, I believe it was South
• 1:12:35
  Africa. I think it was South Africa that
• 1:12:36
  she went to. She said it was like the hub of,
• 1:12:40
  of, of where you could, where you could find mercenaries.
• 1:12:43
  Like, like, you ask, you call a cab, like people who log up to
• 1:12:46
  you say, hey, like, do you need a hit done, you know?
• 1:12:50
  Well, it's it's not a great reputation to have, right?
• 1:12:53
  No, I'm not great. But yeah, I guess that's case in
• 1:12:57
  point. It's really terrible.
• 1:12:58
  It's so sad. It's it's crazy.
• 1:13:02
  It's crazy to think that you got four years ago, you came in, you
• 1:13:06
  came to this country and like that is like a total parallel
• 1:13:11
  reality that like no one of this country would even like really
• 1:13:14
  conceive, you know, like it's so different pinch.
• 1:13:17
  Myself, I'll walk down the road to dinner with a girlfriend and
• 1:13:23
  I won't even bat an eyelid. I could never do that in South
• 1:13:26
  Africa. Yeah.
• 1:13:27
  It's amazing. It's crazy, yeah.
• 1:13:29
  You know I have friends. That say the same thing on
• 1:13:31
  Mexico too, by the way, I have friends from Mexico that are
• 1:13:33
  like past 6-7 PM, like if they're going to their friend
• 1:13:36
  down the block, they're Ubering like they're not, they're not
• 1:13:38
  walking alone at night. They're not doing anything like
• 1:13:40
  that. How did because you mentioned
• 1:13:42
  coalitions and I don't how does the government work there in
• 1:13:45
  terms because I know the only types of governments I really
• 1:13:48
  know are how American government works.
• 1:13:50
  I know how the Israeli government kind of works a
• 1:13:53
  little bit, even though it's also a shit show, but I do
• 1:13:57
  understand the notion they don't.
• 1:13:58
  Be well right now, right? I think governments are not
• 1:14:02
  fearing well right now, no. Not well.
• 1:14:05
  You could ask Argentina how they feel.
• 1:14:08
  I think they're a little happier.
• 1:14:10
  But, but I know that. So in Israel, like, they make
• 1:14:14
  coalitions and like there's a certain amount of seats and each
• 1:14:18
  seat belongs to a different party.
• 1:14:20
  And then if you want to win, if you don't have enough seats by
• 1:14:23
  yourself, you have to make a coalition.
• 1:14:25
  But that coalition could collapse at any point if someone
• 1:14:27
  pulls out then. And so elections could
• 1:14:30
  technically happen every six months if you know if that was
• 1:14:33
  the case. How does it work in South Africa
• 1:14:36
  so. Up and up until this last
• 1:14:39
  election was the ANC, the African National Congress Party
• 1:14:46
  and they were the ruling party and in this last election.
• 1:14:54
  How often are they every four? Years, OK.
• 1:14:57
  And a party in there's a party that's in charge or a leader of
• 1:15:02
  a party that's in charge, correct?
• 1:15:05
  OK. So, so the ANC was the ruling
• 1:15:11
  party and in this last election they obviously lost a number of
• 1:15:16
  the the ballots to not be the ruling party anymore, but
• 1:15:22
  marginally, right. So before every five years,
• 1:15:29
  every five years is an election in South Africa.
• 1:15:33
  And so now we've got the DA, which is a Democratic Party and
• 1:15:37
  they have got certain number of seats in in parliament.
• 1:15:42
  And so they are carving out a way how to bring more of the
• 1:15:48
  democratic viewpoints and representatives into the
• 1:15:58
  government. And how do you do?
• 1:15:59
  That are they appointed or voted or how does that work they.
• 1:16:02
  Are so they were the majority winning party out of the
• 1:16:09
  percentage that the ANC lost. So they came in and then between
• 1:16:13
  the ANC and the Democratic Party, they elected various
• 1:16:19
  officials into various roles. Gotcha.
• 1:16:21
  Gotcha. Gotcha.
• 1:16:22
  Gotcha. Cool.
• 1:16:23
  OK. And that's how stuff gets done.
• 1:16:25
  So. So who the officials actually
• 1:16:28
  are is not necessarily up to the people.
• 1:16:30
  The people would like to party, Correct.
• 1:16:33
  I guess that's where the room for a lot of corruption comes
• 1:16:35
  in, right? Because I mean, if you'll bounce
• 1:16:37
  from party to party. No, it's it's not like the US,
• 1:16:41
  where sometimes you're Republicans, sometimes you're
• 1:16:47
  not. Tulsi Gabbard.
• 1:16:48
  Right. Tulsi Gabbard went from
• 1:16:49
  Democrats to YEAH to Republican. So in South Africa it's it's
• 1:16:53
  pretty stable. People are either for or
• 1:16:56
  against. You don't see much crossing over
• 1:16:59
  the the line over there at all. And what's most important is
• 1:17:04
  that the parties are able to work together in order to forge
• 1:17:10
  a path forward. South Africa is very rich in
• 1:17:12
  natural mineral resources. We export, as I said, wines and
• 1:17:18
  our produce is exceptional and we have an incredible strong
• 1:17:24
  workforce available and readily available labour.
• 1:17:29
  So with the right government and the right structures in place,
• 1:17:34
  it really is going on the world. It's it's got all the potential
• 1:17:37
  in the world and again, the most beautiful people.
• 1:17:42
  Yeah, I have to go check it out. I want to go check it out if
• 1:17:45
  you. Have a good list of places to go
• 1:17:46
  to? It's tough.
• 1:17:48
  It's a six hour time difference from the states.
• 1:17:51
  Correct in summer 6 and in winter 7.
• 1:17:54
  Because you guys don't do a daylight savings?
• 1:17:57
  No, because you're smarter than that.
• 1:18:00
  I still. Can't figure it out.
• 1:18:02
  I'm hoping one day I'll get it the only.
• 1:18:03
  Thing that I know is that when daily savings daylight savings
• 1:18:06
  hit, my 2 year old did not go went to bed an hour and a half
• 1:18:10
  later for the next month. So I did not love that
• 1:18:14
  personally. But you know, I'm sure it exists
• 1:18:18
  for a reason. I don't know what it is.
• 1:18:20
  Do you, do you know anything about that?
• 1:18:21
  Do you know of anything about daylight savings and the fact I
• 1:18:23
  guess has affecting your circadian rhythm, right?
• 1:18:25
  As to when, when the sun's coming up, when you feel like
• 1:18:28
  you're able to actually get your day started.
• 1:18:30
  Exactly. So I mean, one of the ways in
• 1:18:33
  order to, to combat or, or get into the daylight saving is that
• 1:18:39
  when you wake up with the sun and you go and you stand outside
• 1:18:43
  in the natural sunlight, you set your circadian ribbon right.
• 1:18:48
  And obviously your body naturally will start releasing
• 1:18:52
  melatonin earlier in the, in the, in the early evening
• 1:18:56
  because it's, it's getting darker earlier.
• 1:18:58
  So your body naturally changes. It knows what to do.
• 1:19:01
  I mean, to spots ourselves, our bodies know what they're doing.
• 1:19:04
  It can heal itself, it can do a multitude of things, but we get
• 1:19:08
  in the way. Of our bodies so many times we.
• 1:19:10
  Get in the web. Our bodies, they know exactly
• 1:19:12
  what they're doing. We, we just pretend we know
• 1:19:15
  more. But it's, and you do you see it
• 1:19:21
  with older people and you see it with kids.
• 1:19:22
  They naturally go in and out of the, the, the daylight savings
• 1:19:26
  so much better because their bodies move.
• 1:19:28
  They don't fight the time change.
• 1:19:30
  They don't fight the sun coming up and going down.
• 1:19:33
  So for me, the best thing to do is to go outside as as early as
• 1:19:38
  you can with the light and in the middle of the day, go
• 1:19:41
  outside. Your body knows how to read that
• 1:19:43
  as well. And towards the end of the day
• 1:19:45
  as well, to kind of get that natural melatonin released.
• 1:19:50
  Grounding goes with it. And yeah.
• 1:19:54
  Yeah, Are you a big grounder? Well, I do believe in this, so I
• 1:19:58
  understand I'm. Just asking you, there's
• 1:20:00
  nothing. There's not as.
• 1:20:01
  Much time do you ground as often as possible?
• 1:20:06
  I, I wish I, I could say yes, I do, but I don't.
• 1:20:09
  But the minute I have an opportunity to, I do And I do
• 1:20:13
  when I travel and and my kids and my husband laugh at me.
• 1:20:15
  I like, take off your shoes, get your toes whittled in the
• 1:20:18
  ground. Let's kill them up.
• 1:20:21
  I mean, in South Africa, I don't think we ever wore shoes.
• 1:20:24
  I mean, growing up like a shoe was something you had to wear to
• 1:20:28
  to church or to go to school. But I mean, we go to school and
• 1:20:31
  our shoes were off and we ran around barefoot.
• 1:20:33
  So I've pretty much felt like my whole life I've always seeked
• 1:20:37
  out to feel connected to the earth.
• 1:20:40
  You know, I slept on a grounding mat for a while to see how that
• 1:20:44
  did and how'd that go It, It was interesting.
• 1:20:47
  I, I think I was in a bad sleeping phase at the time that
• 1:20:55
  I was trying to use it. So to be fair, I don't think I
• 1:20:58
  gave it the full opportunity, but I'm forever experimenting.
• 1:21:03
  Whatever there's going, I want to try it.
• 1:21:05
  I want to feel it. I want to know that it is
• 1:21:07
  working or isn't working. I want to see the difference on
• 1:21:10
  my body. So I do, I try lots of different
• 1:21:13
  things just to see because I can.
• 1:21:15
  You know, our bodies are marvelous things.
• 1:21:19
  And I just want to see what, what works the best and responds
• 1:21:23
  the best to. Yeah.
• 1:21:25
  I, I have to work very hard to get past this, but I hate when
• 1:21:29
  I'm dismissive of just like when I hear something and like my
• 1:21:32
  immediate instincts is like, Nah, like what am I saying?
• 1:21:35
  I, I, why am I, why would I? I don't know anything about a
• 1:21:39
  lot of things, you know, like, I don't know what I'd be
• 1:21:41
  dismissing and why I dismiss out of hand.
• 1:21:44
  It's funny because, you know, my mom would also would always
• 1:21:47
  would, would say things that that for years I would laugh at
• 1:21:51
  her. You know, I had a dry skin on my
• 1:21:53
  face when I was in high school, right?
• 1:21:55
  Or when I was in college. I had, you know, I had, I had
• 1:21:58
  dry skin or, or dandruff. And she's like, what you eat
• 1:22:01
  alcohol. And I'm like, don't be
• 1:22:04
  ridiculous, you know, and I, I, and we're getting so upset.
• 1:22:07
  And I'm like you're saying just giving you a doctor.
• 1:22:10
  I, I, I was thinking, give me a, give me a prescription.
• 1:22:12
  I don't want to, you know, like that, that can't possibly be
• 1:22:14
  what the case is. And, and then I realized that
• 1:22:17
  she was right, you know, and that's things that she got from
• 1:22:20
  her mom and things that she got from her mom.
• 1:22:22
  And it's actually, I was talking to a student the other day and
• 1:22:24
  we're talking about breathing and just, you know, how
• 1:22:28
  important it is to get your breathing under control at
• 1:22:31
  different points and, you know, depending what you're trying to
• 1:22:33
  accomplish, right? But I was like, breathing is
• 1:22:36
  everything. He's like, what do you mean?
• 1:22:37
  I said, well, what do you do when you panic?
• 1:22:40
  He's like, you hyperventilate. I was like, and how do you get
• 1:22:46
  yourself out of what people tell you to do to calm down?
• 1:22:48
  Like deep breath. I was like, great.
• 1:22:50
  I was like, and now when you're, when you're boxing, you're
• 1:22:52
  fighting because he, he boxes when you're fighting.
• 1:22:53
  What do they tell you to do? He's like, breathe.
• 1:22:55
  I was like, when you're jogging, what do they tell you to do?
• 1:22:57
  He's like, Oh my God. And I was like, dude, I was
• 1:22:59
  like, he goes, oh, because he told me he's having a hard time
• 1:23:01
  sleeping. So I was like, if jogging and
• 1:23:04
  running and thinking and emotional regulation is all
• 1:23:09
  connected to to breathing, I bet breathing probably would help
• 1:23:12
  you sleeping. And he's like, right, but I
• 1:23:16
  don't think that. But when he initial, but I had
• 1:23:18
  to explain that concept to him when I initially told him, are
• 1:23:21
  you breathing? You focus on how you breathe.
• 1:23:24
  He looked at me that I was crazy, you know, And so like, I
• 1:23:27
  think the biggest thing that gets in most people's way is
• 1:23:29
  that we are either not curious or we are dismissive.
• 1:23:34
  And I think both of those are really, really potentially
• 1:23:37
  deadly traits. You know, they could kill you.
• 1:23:39
  They're very. Limiting, right?
• 1:23:41
  Yeah, and so many times people really do underestimate the the
• 1:23:48
  value of breathing and how many people hold their breath.
• 1:23:52
  So when you first did it, I held my breath because you are the
• 1:23:56
  hyperventilator. You hold your breath.
• 1:23:58
  And often you've just got to say to somebody breathe out, just
• 1:24:02
  breathe. Like all of a sudden they
• 1:24:04
  realise. And I was actually having a chat
• 1:24:07
  to, to my one son today as well about he was like, oh, every
• 1:24:11
  time I wake up during the night, I said, well, breathe.
• 1:24:14
  And he says, OK, I do box breathing.
• 1:24:15
  I say, well, no, try this other breathing exercise.
• 1:24:18
  It's, you know, just try that tonight.
• 1:24:20
  Maybe that will help, you know, because it's natural to wake up.
• 1:24:24
  It's natural to feel in any circumstances in life, stressed
• 1:24:29
  or worked out or worried or whatever it is.
• 1:24:33
  And, and breath is your friend. Breath is really your friend.
• 1:24:37
  It can help regulate your emotions, which is critical.
• 1:24:41
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to start.
• 1:24:44
  I have to. My wife just went last night
• 1:24:46
  with her with her sister to a breath work class and she came
• 1:24:50
  back and she told me I'd have to do it.
• 1:24:51
  And we don't have time for this right now, but when we do
• 1:24:53
  another episode, if we do another episode, we'll you can
• 1:24:56
  talk more about it. But I'm a big advocate of
• 1:24:58
  psychedelics. And so when my wife told me
• 1:25:00
  that, and I've heard before that breath work gets you to the same
• 1:25:03
  place and, and I'm curious and a little nervous to try it out,
• 1:25:09
  but I, I have to, I want to, I want to get myself to get there
• 1:25:13
  again. It's.
• 1:25:13
  The same thing. It's a, it's a fear of the, you
• 1:25:16
  know, it's a, it's not, it's not even skepticism, just like the
• 1:25:19
  new thing. I just think I don't want to do
• 1:25:21
  something new, but I know I want to.
• 1:25:23
  I'm happy to. Do psychedelics and you're happy
• 1:25:25
  to do weed but you're worried about breathing.
• 1:25:28
  We need to. I don't know where it's going.
• 1:25:30
  To take me because I don't know where it's going to take me like
• 1:25:32
  what the I've only. Experienced it once I we had
• 1:25:38
  like a forum situation and, and we brought in a resource and we
• 1:25:44
  went from a meditation into this breath work.
• 1:25:48
  And I've never done breathing like this for 10 minutes solid
• 1:25:51
  in my life. And I cannot tell you the sense
• 1:25:55
  of euphoria I had. I cried, I hyperventilated, I
• 1:26:00
  felt A rush of emotions like I've never had.
• 1:26:03
  I've never experienced anything in my life what I experienced in
• 1:26:07
  that 10 minutes of breath work. So there's a lot of power in it,
• 1:26:14
  but again, I don't do. It I want to do it.
• 1:26:18
  And not being dismissive of trying all these things, these
• 1:26:21
  things are good, are all good and natural and healthy.
• 1:26:23
  And it's like you've got to try to understand what works and
• 1:26:26
  doesn't work for you. So you know, on on your path to
• 1:26:29
  longevity and, and living young and vibrant, vibrantly and full
• 1:26:34
  of vitality. You've got to try all these
• 1:26:35
  different modalities and just stick with what works.
• 1:26:39
  And if it doesn't work there, tried it move on.
• 1:26:43
  I know it's going to work. I have to.
• 1:26:45
  I have to do it. Thank you.
• 1:26:50
  So much for the time. Thanks so much for getting back
• 1:26:52
  to me and for agreeing to do. This is so much fun and I think
• 1:26:55
  this is a really, really, really thoughtful and fun conversation.
• 1:27:00
  Exactly the coin that I really was looking forward to.
• 1:27:02
  So I hope to be in touch. I, there's actually like 5 or 6
• 1:27:07
  different topics that I'd written down that we didn't get
• 1:27:09
  to, but maybe we will do this again sometime.
• 1:27:12
  I hope to be in touch and I will post this.
• 1:27:16
  This episode will probably be posted on Monday, if that's OK
• 1:27:21
  with you. But thank you so much.
• 1:27:24
  This is so nice talking, so nice meeting you, and I hope to be in
• 1:27:26
  touch. All right, Yeah, you.
• 1:27:27
  Too. Thank you so much for the time.
• 1:27:29
  There's so much fun. Take care, have a good one.
• 1:27:31
  Bye.