Latest / ok storytime / My boyfriend PLANNED our entire wedding without telling me... so I walked out of it! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3138

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My boyfriend PLANNED our entire wedding without telling me... so I walked out of it! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3138 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie. And this is Dakota, your favorite
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: OK Storytime hosts. And we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep this show running.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: My boyfriend planned our entire wedding without telling me, so
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: I walked out of it. Hey, no surprise wedding's here.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Last week... Was that good? I, 30 female, was invited
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: to a supposedly fancy party by my longtime boyfriend... 32 male.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: We had been dating for five years, and while we
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: had discussed marriage before, there were no immediate plans for
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: a wedding. Excited about the event, I dressed up in
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: my best attire and arrived at the designated venue. As
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: I entered the grand hall, I was completely taken aback
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: to see all of our family, friends, and acquaintances gathered
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: eagerly waiting. It turns out Mark had orchestrated an elaborate
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: surprise wedding for us without my knowledge. Everyone erupted into
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: applause as I stood there, shocked and overwhelmed. I just
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: felt a mix of emotions. While I love Mark and
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: had dreamed of our future together, the idea of getting
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: married without any prior discussion or consent felt like a
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: breach of trust. So I pulled Mark aside and tried
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: to express my concerns and reservations about the surprise wedding.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: I explained that I wanted a say in the planning process,
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: to be part of the decision-making, and to have the
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: chance to prepare mentally and emotionally for such a significant
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: milestone in our lives. However, Mark dismissed my concerns, saying
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: that he thought it would be a romantic gesture and
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: I would be thrilled. In that moment, I faced a
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: difficult choice going along with the surprise wedding, putting on
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: a smile despite feeling unsettled, or stand up for my
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: autonomy and voice my true feelings. I ultimately made the
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: decision not to proceed with the surprise wedding, much to
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: the disappointment and confusion of our guests. I mean, like,
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: how does, how is anyone surprised by your reaction to
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: a surprise? So he didn't even, like, propose or anything? No,
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: he was like, surprise, it's our wedding, and then everyone
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: is shocked that you don't want this? Oh, oh my god,
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: I would, I would.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: My ex would always be like, I wanna marry you,
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: I wanna marry you. If he did that crap, oh
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: my god, no.
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: No!
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, that's hilarious. By the way, this comes
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: from a deleted user, and if you want to submit
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash showcase story
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: time subreddit. I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: I'm Mark.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: And we're here to... That's not true! That's Mark. That's Kian,
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: for all of our podcast listeners who Kian doesn't care about.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: But we're here to give good advice goofily, and if
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: you've got advice, put it down below. Now I find
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: myself at odds with Mark, our families, and even some
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: of our friends who believe I overreacted and spoiled a
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: beautiful moment. However, I firmly believe that a marriage should
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: be a joint decision, with open communication and shared expectations.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: Everyone's excuse for this is I've always talked about marrying Mark.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: And again, the problem isn't marrying him. The problem is
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: not having any say in my wedding. Mark thought I'd
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: appreciate it, because I always spoke about how stressful planning
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: a wedding must be. Yes, I think it's stressful. It is.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: But I'd still like to plan one. After this whole ordeal...
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: Everyone asked if Mark and I were ending things, in
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: which I replied, no. I emphasized towards them and Mark,
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: I still wanted to marry him. And most feel like
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: this is making me more of an a-hole, since I
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: just wasted a perfectly fine wedding. So am I the
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: a-hole for refusing to attend my own surprise wedding, even
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: though it was intended as a romantic gesture? And we
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: do have an edit, 0% a-hole. stamp of no a-hole
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: here truthfully i don't know what i don't know he
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: just said if your partner surprised you with a wedding
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: you would yeah but the thing is she won she's
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: like yeah i do want to get married to him
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: eventually with her dating uh we don't have five years
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: okay five years you kind of know what's coming you
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: know i i think it is like a two-person thing
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: I don't think it should all be on one person.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: I would be pretty upset if I didn't get a proposal.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: I didn't get a say in how it looked. I
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: didn't get a say in who was there. No engagement photos.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: No engagement photos.
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: No.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: I didn't get a say in my dress. Yeah, you
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: didn't get a dress. No bachelorette party. No bachelorette party.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: You deny me a bachelorette.
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: Who you invite.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Keon doesn't listen to me. I just said who I invite.
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: I'm keeping you on your toes.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: You guys are just repeating what I say. Give me
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: your toes. You know what? Give me your toes.
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: No.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: You guys are just repeating everything I say today.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Everything I say. I previously admitted this from my post
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: because of the subreddit's word count guidelines. I love surprises.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: It's a thing everyone has known me to love. Mark,
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: knowing that, the fact that I wanted to marry him,
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: and said wedding planning was stressful, thought a surprise wedding
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: would be perfect. Okay. So he just connected the dots.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: In like a really bad way.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but she's like, oh, I love surprises and I
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: really don't, I'm like stressed about planning a wedding.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Boom, surprise wedding.
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: He tried to read your brain.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: He did, he tried.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: He tried. Which is why she's not breaking up with him. Yes. Good.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: She's just not marrying him at his surprise wedding.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: It's a weird misunderstanding that sometimes you want to do it,
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: but then you shouldn't.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: A surprise engagement is bland because it will always be
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: a surprise, but not a wedding, LOL. He threw this
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: wedding for the surprise, but explained how in a couple
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: days we could do a courthouse wedding to make it legal.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: This was his only way to surprise me. I love spontaneity,
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: but legal marriage or not, I wanted a say in
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: my wedding. To choose the perfect date, to choose my
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: bridesmaids to pick out my cake. Again, due to these thoughts,
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: everyone thinks I'm the a-hole because I could have went
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: along with the party and do a redo legal wedding.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: But again, I felt blindsided and confused, so I left. Verdict,
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: not the a-hole. And we do have an update. The
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: blind one says, A for effort. We'll call this a
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: practice wedding. Hmm. Yes, blind one. Yeah, hopefully she doesn't
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: walk out of the real wedding. Yeah, that would be
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: pretty stupid. Especially if she planned it and everything.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: He didn't even propose.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: People are focused on his intent instead of the impact. Exactly.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: She didn't even get her beautiful proposal. Send him to
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: the principal's office and have him expelled. Which is such
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: a funny, like, he had such a weird logic, you know,
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: train of thought there of him being like, well, I
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: can't propose to her because she'll expect that because that's
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: always a surprise. So what's like never a surprise?
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: Let's make it a bigger surprise. What's the biggest surprise
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: I can do? Surprise wedding.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: What if I surprised her with a baby? I was
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: going to say surprise. Boom. Pregnant. Pregnart. Boom. Pregnart. But
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: we have an update. I want to start off by
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: thanking everyone for the responses I got and the advice. However,
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: I would like to reiterate that Mark is a great person. Mark,
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: who did a stupid thing. Mark, if you knew me, though,
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: a surprise wedding seems like something I would love. Unfortunately,
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: I didn't. After talking to Mark, we both got to
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: the conclusion that we didn't do anything wrong. Both of
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: us are valid in our opinions, and the situation was
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: an odd one. Unfortunately, Mark spent a lot of money
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: on planning the wedding as well as family members. He
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: doesn't think that we have the funds to plan another
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: wedding until a couple years. That would make me so mad.
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: Why?
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: That would make me... The fact that he wasted their
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: money on a wedding that she didn't even get to
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: enjoy and now he can't... He doesn't have the funds.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: Surprise, surprise.
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: Surprise, surprise.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Dang, I'd be pissed. Are you staying in this relationship?
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: Because she is. She is. Would you? Yeah, I would.
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: I would. Because it seems like it's a genuine, like,
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: I tried to listen and, you know, maybe I took
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: it a little too far. My bad.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah. My bad.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that he tried and he did not succeed.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: And when life knocks you down.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: Get back up and wait a couple years before you
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: get married.
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: Knocks you down. Knocks you down. Sometimes love does come around.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Well, we got a little bit left. I will be honest,
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: that choice is really messing with me. I'd like to
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: be married sometime soon and start out life as a family.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: I know weddings don't have to be extravagant. We could
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: always throw a small party and once we have enough
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: money to do a second one, we could do that.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: But I don't know if that's what I want. I
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: honestly feel selfish and regret not using the surprise wedding.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: I feel like I wasted a bunch of money. I
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: used to stand by my choice confidently. But now I'm
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: not sure I made the right choice and all this
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: stress is wearing me down. Anyway, I'm staying with Mark.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: Probably will get married soon and have my dream wedding
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: in the near future, hopefully. Opie, I don't think you
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: can say, oh, I made a mistake because you reacted
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: in the moment. Yeah, it wasn't even your fault. Yeah,
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: you were surprised and you reacted. I don't think you
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: could have controlled that. But Awesome Ashley says, I don't
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: think this is breakup worthy, but it does call for
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: couples therapy to improve communication. That's a good point.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of the story. We're going to
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: go on to the next one.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: My boyfriend threw the dinner I cooked at the wall,
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: so I turned off the internet. Huh? What? I, 22 female,
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: had cooked dinner for my boyfriend, 23 male, and I
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: had called him several times. He didn't respond, so I
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: was like, what the heck? And went to find him
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: and bring his dinner to him. He was playing Call
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: of Duty or Halo and said he didn't hear me.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: I was like, all right, here's your dinner. And then
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: I handed it to him and he just looked at
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: it and said, I didn't want mac and cheese. I
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: said I wanted chicken nuggets and fries. Oh my. Are
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: you a little baby? Oh my God. That made me
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: want to throw up. Are you a little baby? baby?
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: You want to play your video games and eat your
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: chicken nuggets and fries and you need your mommy to
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: cook it for you?
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: I didn't want that. I wanted this. Oh my god!
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: It says the one who's upstairs in his room and
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: he can't, like mom's calling you downstairs to come and eat.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: That is like the biggest ick.
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: I couldn't pause the game.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Genuinely, actually, I think Unless you are in some sort
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: of work thing, your partner should absolutely be eating with you. Oh,
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: for sure. If someone made you food, eat with them.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: That is ridiculous. This is not your parent. Why would
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: you eat separately? That's crazy. I said, sorry, but if
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: you had listened when I got back, you would have
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: heard that the store was all out of nuggets. He
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: then threw the plate with the food on it at
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: a set of drawers. Immediate breakup. Immediate breakup, OP. I said, seriously,
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: what is wrong with you? And he just said he
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: was annoyed because I just made him pass away in
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: the game by distracting him. He was already mad about
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: having mac and cheese. I hate this. I hate, I
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: hate him. Oh my God. This is the worst story.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: I wanted my mac and cheese and now I'm dead. Oh,
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: it's all your fault.
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: Now there's no food. Now you're hungry and upset.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: Now you have to be hungry.
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: You know what? This is a very good Snickers ad.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. You're not you when you're hungry. This man
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: deserves to be in jail. Jail. Straight to jail. I said,
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: if that's going to make you angry, you shouldn't be
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: playing while eating. He just said, whatever. It carried on playing,
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: so I went downstairs and turned the router off while
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: I ate. Come on. By the way, this comes from
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: Throwaway Onion Kebab, and if you want to submit your
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: I'm Keon.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: don't have all the answers, and if you've got answers,
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: give them in the comments below. And Opie says, he
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: came storming down asking, what the heck I had done?
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: I said, if you can't listen to me, you shouldn't
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: be playing games when I'm trying to do stuff. He said,
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: I can't turn the internet off because he pays for it.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: So I said, he just wasted food. He says, I
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: should have told them they were out of nuggets and
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: waited for him to be done on the game instead
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: of turning it off. I'm sorry.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Once she did that, what would you have done if
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: you knew that they were out of nuggets? Would you
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: not have had a tantrum if you knew that they
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: were out of nuggets? I think he was being unreasonable,
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: especially after he threw the plate. But his mom and
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: my mom are siding with him. Yeah, because they want
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: you to be his new mommy. That's insane. That's, yeah.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: Any mom who says, oh, it's fine that my 23-year-old
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: son threw a plate of food on the floor.
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: He just gets a little like that when he's hungry,
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: you know?
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: They say I shouldn't have turned the internet off, and
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking they are completely missing the point. So was
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: I wrong to do that, or should I have done
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: something different? You should do something different, which is? Break up! Yes!
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: Big old breakup. Right now.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: This is insane for him to be like, I want
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: a dino nugget, I did not want the free mac
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: and cheese.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: Like, that's crazy. Update. Thank you to everyone that helped
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: me see that what he did was really not right.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: I had wondered why my mom and his would side
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: with him too, and after speaking with my mom, I
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: found out he had been bad-mouthing me before this and
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: had told her a different story to what really happened.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: He told her he had been at work all day
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: and got home and I was instantly aggressive and turned
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: the internet off and said, no games or food. I
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: don't know why she would believe that, but whatever. He
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: had been playing the game for eight hours straight that
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: day up to that point.
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: He was just really hungry. My man was grinding.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: I can't imagine doing anything for eight hours straight. Anyway,
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: I left him and moved back with my mom for now.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: I am in the process of moving all my belongings,
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: but I have the most important stuff. He's been texting me,
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: begging me to come back because he misses me and
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: also he can't cook. I saw McDonald's wrappers all over
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: the floor when I went to get some of my clothes.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: He also posted a video to Facebook of his crying.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: No way. Leave Brittany alone. Can someone move in with me, please?
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: Can someone come in and cook me food?
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Looking for private chef for free. I tried to cook
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: mac and cheese and I burnt it. I burnt the water.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: I've done that. Saying I took everything and I'm a witch.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: His mom is still siding with him and she has
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: been pestering me in messages for abusing her son. She says,
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: how dare I leave him? First, she tried to guilt
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: trip me by saying how he will clean and cook
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: by himself. And with that didn't work, she started threatening
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: and sending harmful messages. I feel much better, though. I
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: didn't realize how much of a strain he had put
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: upon me. So once again, thank you to everyone that
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: helped me out.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: Yay.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: Yay. Kim Fine says he door dashed the McDonald's, didn't
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: even drive to get them. No, he can't.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: Kim Fine, he can't leave his video game.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: Truthfully, he probably doesn't even have his license. No, probably not.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: Because he was playing his video games when he could
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: have been getting his license. God, that's crazy.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: Yikes.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Wow. Well, at least you've left your son behind, Opie.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of the story. We're going to
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: go on to the next one. My friend told.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: Me that my girlfriend is cheating on me. So I
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: looked for proof.
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: Prove it, please. I, 30 male, have been dating a
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: girl I met at work.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: We'll call her.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: Martha, 29 female, for a year and a half, of
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: which the last half year has been long distance. We
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: have been meeting once a month for a weekend or so.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: We have another colleague, let's call him John, and we
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: have met his longtime girlfriend, let's call her Jane, on
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: the vacations we have taken in the last year. Jane
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: works elsewhere and has been with John since their school days,
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: more than nine years. A week ago, I got an
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: email from Jane. I don't know you too well, so
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: it's probably not my place, but I got jilted and
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: don't want the same to happen to the other hurt
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: party in this matter. John and Martha have been involved
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: since October. I don't know to what extent or if
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: it was from even before. I don't wish to know
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: either because whatever I am aware of beyond a doubt
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: from their messages and subsequently his confession is enough for
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: me to break it off. I am not in touch
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: with anyone in that crowd anymore and don't intend to be.
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: I don't know what your relationship with her is. This
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: was just an FYI. Good luck and take care.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: By the way, this story comes from Magenta.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: to the r slash okay story time subreddit.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: I'm Keon.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: And we're here.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: To give some advice, but we don't have all of
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: the answers. We're only going to tell you what we
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: would do, but let us know what you would do down.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: In the comments, please.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: Please.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: As Opie says, I trust my girl.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: So my first reaction was to show her this mail
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: and ask her to find out if John is okay
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: after what seemed to be an ugly.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: Breakup as they are very close. That's so funny. Opie's like, hey,
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: could you check in with John?
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: I just got this email that says that you're cheating
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: with him.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what? And he's probably going through a tough breakup
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: right now. I know you guys are close. She's like,
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: is this a trap?
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: She got defensive and said, I had no right to
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: accuse her and I should have deleted the mail and
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: never shown it to her if I truly trusted her.
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: Guilty.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was the most, Opie came in with the
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: least amount of accusatory energy, and she just immediately got defensive,
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: so she's guilty.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: I spoke to another colleague, Bill, and told him what
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: had happened. He said John had told everyone he had
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: a breakup sometime before October, but continued hanging out with Jane,
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: which everyone had found odd, intervened, and finally left him
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: alone on the subject.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: He also told me that.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: Martha and him spent a lot more time together now,
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: though he didn't suspect anything romantic. Now, I'm not proud
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: of this part, but I got frustrated at this point
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: and wrote back to Jane asking her for evidence. She
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: wrote back saying she didn't want to get involved any
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: further and the confrontation was in person, so anyway, had
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: no evidence. I wrote back desperately asking for some messages
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: for me to confront him with. she wrote back giving
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: some personal details of the things she had read the
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: terms of endearment they had for each other the physical
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: involvement description etc and said to either trust her or
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: not but please keep her out of it now i
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: confronted martha with the details and she has denied the
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: whole thing i really don't know what to do and
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: there's an update she for sure cheated on you yeah
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: there's no way that like i mean yeah count one
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: she was defensive count two you have proof guilty.
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: No but you Sophia did you not hear she denied.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: It yeah she denied it so actually it's fine so
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: technically it never happened we should forget it and you
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: should trust her fully yeah have we not tried that
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: I don't know it feels like OP is very trustworthy
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: like trusting and thinks that his partner is deserving.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: Of that trust but everything you've told us makes her
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: sound pretty guilty yeah I'm on the side of guilty
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: stamp it Stamp. Update three days later.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: I was too invested in the relationship to objectively look
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: at things for what they were and needed to hear
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: an external opinion. I'm usually a trusting person, but this
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: reeked of pure BS.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: Here's how it unfolded.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: I told her I was uncomfortable. with this whole scenario,
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: and would prefer if she maintained some distance with John.
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: She burst into tears, saying she was only being a
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: good friend to him to help him through his rough breakup.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: I demanded to.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: Know why she hadn't told me about the breakup, if
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: she knew what with all her continuous yapping about every
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: other random thing. She said he had told everyone about
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: the breakup but was still trying to make it work
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: with her so she wasn't sure what the scenario was.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: She went on to tell me that Jane was a
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: complete psycho and told me horror stories of things she
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: did for attention.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: Trying to make her seem like a liar. Trying to
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: undermine her reputation so he doesn't believe her.
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: Jane was allegedly envious of my girl's closeness with John,
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: even though nothing was going on between them. She said
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: John had finally severed ties, which caused her to lash
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: out and attack her, Martha, through me. I believed her
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: and felt quite terrible for doubting her.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: You know what? That was a really good explanation. But
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: it feels like a lie. Feels like maybe she worked
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: with John to figure out a really good lie.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: After a lot of her tears were spilled, I apologized
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: profusely and suggested we keep our distance from both of
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: them until they sort their own crap.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no. She's lying. The fact that she said, oh, well,
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: he was like, why didn't you tell me about the breakup?
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: She's like, oh, I didn't know what was going on there.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: Because if I have a partner, I'm like, oh, my God,
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: did you hear that this happened? I mean, I do
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: have a partner and I do this. Yeah. Please, tell
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: it to me in present terms. When I have a
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: partner now, and I get tea, I do this. It's fun. Yeah.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, did you hear this happen?
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: He's like, no way. And you're like, gossip, gossip. I say,
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: this doesn't leave the room. Take this to your grave.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: She reluctantly agreed.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: A day later, yesterday, I get a call from Bill,
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: another colleague, and he tells me They were all out
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: together and he saw them making out when they excused themselves.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: For a smoke break. Martha doesn't smoke.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: I didn't confront or react. I requested Bill to not
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: mention anything to her or John about having alerted me.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: I told her I had left a few files on
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: her computer and couldn't remember where and what they were
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: called so needed remote access to her system for some time.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: I pretended it was extremely urgent and I feigned a
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: state of panic. I told her it would take me
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: some time to transfer the files. She gave me access
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: and went to take a shower. I went into her Gmail.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: It had nothing. Facebook chats, nothing. Skype, nothing.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: I felt like crap again, thinking I'm terrible for downing her.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: You've had two people tell you now.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, two people told you that your girlfriend is cheating
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: on you. Yeah, why would they lie? Yeah, why would
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: Bill lie?
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was like, I
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: could see Jane why she would, you know, to be like, oh,
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: he can't be with anyone else.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: But Bill is just a bystander. He's just, yeah, he's
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: just a guy. He's just there being like, hey, I
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: want to be the good guy here. Yeah, saw the
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: making out. Saw him out for a smoke break, if
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Wink.
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: Wink, wink.
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: And then I realized she had left her phone on
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: charge through USB on her laptop.
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: I accessed the folders and there it was.
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: The ugliness bare of the person I had spent the
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: last one and a half years loving. Spicy sleep chats,
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: dirty pictures, references to the nights they were together. Panic
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: at respective other halves finding out. Nope, he hadn't broken up.
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: Just told people in office that he had.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: That's what I was thinking. Because earlier OP said, yes,
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: someone said that he had broken up in October with Martha.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Or no, sorry, with Jane. But they were still hanging
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: out together. So people were confused. So I think he
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: just told everyone at work, oh yeah, Jane and I
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: broke up. So it would seem less suspicious when he
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: was hanging out with Martha. Which that's what happened. What
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: a piece of crap.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: And finally, a latest message of, Taking it slow till
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: things settle down. I cleared my traces and logged out.
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: I haven't confronted her yet. I'm deciding between a stone
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: cold dignified walk away and a make her weep drama
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: induced walk away.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: Ooh, ooh, two walkaways. What would you choose? You want
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: to see her weep or you don't want to talk
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: about it? I don't know if I need to see
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: her cry. I think I just want to be like, hey,
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: here you go. This is the truth. Take your things
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: and go. That's what I want. I want quick. I
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: want the quick walk away. Well, that wasn't an option.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: Date and dash. Oh, there's an edit.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: I left without a word. I know she will try
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: her emotional drama and try to explain away even this
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: with absurd logic slash playing the victim slash getting on
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: the offense by attacking me.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: I'm not interested in any of that. I left and
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: she can figure out why. To heck with her! Edit two.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: As advised by a lot of you sent a thanks
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: to Jane, she replied saying, good riddance, take care. Martha
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: has asked a few common friends to ask why I
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: blocked her. I've told them to not speak of her
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: to me or of me to her. She's a mess
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: from what I hear. I honestly don't give a crap.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: Indifference feels sweet. Didn't expect to feel this good so soon.
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: I'm grateful to her for being such an in-your-face witch.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: That sure helps. Thanks everyone for your support to Better
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Times Ahead. Cheers! Cheers! Great! Awesome! I'm glad that you're done.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: And also, they're long distance, so that makes it really easy.
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: You just go home. I mean, yeah.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: I've never done that. Just block someone and never speak
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: to them again.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah. In this circumstance, I get why.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: Usually breakups have like, there's always some sort of conversation,
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: but truthfully.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: With OP, it was cheating and wrong. Yeah, it was cheating,
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: so that's a different story. I get it.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of the story. We're going to
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: go on to the next one.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: My fiancé' s stepfather texted my own father behind my back
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: with lies about me. Don't believe the father! My fiancé
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: and I are finally planning our wedding because we don't
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: want to burden our families by asking them to pay
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: for the wedding. It's our wedding, after all. We plan
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: to pay for everything. And if anyone else wants to help,
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: they can. We're not expecting anyone to help. My fiancé' s
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: parents are really well off, to say the least. Technically... Oh, wait,
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: I don't know what gender you are. If your fiancé
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: is the woman, technically, her family is supposed to pay.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: Historically and traditionally. Anywho, though.
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't have any.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: Genders yet?
• 26:49
  Speaker 5: Nope.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: I respect how they earned their money, and again, we're
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: not expecting them to pay for the wedding just because
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: they can... his mom graciously offered to pay for our honeymoon. Okay, okay.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: So technically, you're supposed to pay.
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: And you go, twist my arm.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, twist my arm. Sure, I'll take it. Twist my arm.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: We say thank you and send them some details. We
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: do plan to take two weeks off work, and the
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: honeymoon outline that I sent them is currently set at
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: 10 days abroad. What's her name?
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: Good job.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: She beat me to it. And estimated at 3.7K. And
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: of course, there's room to change the plan since we
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: have a whole year to plan it. His parents don't
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: seem to have any issue with that, other than making
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: sure we will be able to take that time off work.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: Then his stepdad steps in, saying, We'll match whatever your
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: parents contribute to the wedding. For context, my parents are
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: not well off. But they brought us up with the
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: knowledge that they might not be wealthy, but they would
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: find a way to make things happen. By the way,
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: this comes from PrestigiousTry250. And if you want to submit
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash ok story
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: time subreddit. I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: I'm Keon.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: don't have all the answers, silly billies. But we got
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: some of them, and if you've got more of them,
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: put them down below. And OP says, at this point,
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: they have both said that they would help in any
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: way they can. My mom offered to buy and make
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: the decorations, and my dad is willing to throw money
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: at things here and there. I told his stepdad thank you.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: We'll try to find a way to make it equal.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: His stepdad suggests that I ask my parents to send
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: us $ 5, 000 and then he will send us $ 5, 000 and
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: we can do whatever we want with that in relation
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: to the wedding. I don't think Opie's parents have $ 5, 000
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: to spend on their wedding.
• 28:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: Why do they need to match it? I don't know.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: Why can't he just give $ 5, 000? Yeah, that's true. And
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: why did it go up? Because it was going to
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: be 3.5K. That's the honeymoon. Yeah. So LP's fiancé' s parents
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: are paying for the honeymoon, and I guess the stepdad?
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: I don't know if the stepdad is involved in the honeymoon,
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: but the stepdad is saying that I will put in
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: $ 5, 000 if your parents put in.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: $ 5, 000.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: So that's separate to the honeymoon. Oh, I thought this was, wait,
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: is that on OP's side? So stepdad is OP's fiance's stepdad.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: And then OP's parents are already offered to help out.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: But stepdad is saying, I will give you $ 5, 000 if
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: your parents give $ 5, 000. But OP's parents cannot afford that,
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking. Okay, so now no one's going to give anything?
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: We're going to find out. Well, they're still giving for
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: the honeymoon. Yes.
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: The honeymoon is separate.
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: So this is, yeah. So this is for the wedding,
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: but they said they didn't want any money. Like if
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: people want to help out, but they were just going
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: to pay for it.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: And OP continues. This is where the problems start. As
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: mentioned above, my parents are willing to help financially, but
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: they can't just give us $ 5, 000. I told this to stepdad,
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: but he just doesn't get it. He says, we need
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: to see some commitment from them. My parents. First, This
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: is where I admittedly lose my temper a bit. I say,
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: they are more than willing and committed to help in
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: any way possible, but I'm not going to cripple them
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: by asking them to take out $ 5, 000 that they don't
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: have just to satisfy a petty bid for equality. If
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: money is this important to you, you can keep it.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: That's where I intended to leave it, but then his
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: stepdad said, we're not responsible for your parents' poor choices. Dude,
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: no one said you were. We're not asking for your money.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: What's important to me right now is financing our retirement fund.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: Not okay.
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: Then we don't need your money.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't understand why he's like, well, we're not
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: responsible for your parents. And Opie's like, I just don't
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: want your money. Don't give it.
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, no one said this. No one's bringing this up
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: but you.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's like, I'll give $ 5, 000 only if your parents
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: give $ 5, 000. And Opie's like, I don't want any money.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: And he's like, Well, I'm not responsible for your parents.
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: What?
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: I managed to say, sounds good. I don't think we
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: have enough funding to support your meals at the reception,
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: so I'll go ahead and remove your seats. Thank you
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: so much for your support and generosity.
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: Oh, no, that's not going to cause any drama. Okay,
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: pausing right there for a second. Do you think that
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: before OP said that, she should have asked her fiancé?
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: Because this is his side of the family. Yes, and
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: also I don't think she needed to make that rash
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: of a decision.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: In the moment, yes.
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: I understand that it was frustrating and he's not listening,
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: but that's a big thing.
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: I think it was a drop the mic kind of
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: moment of like, yeah.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't be dropping the mic because the mic
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: will get dented.
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: You have to put the mic back in the stand.
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: To make that loud screeching booming sound.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: Everyone's going to go, ow! Oh, the feedback. Exactly, and
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: the feedback is hurting your fiancé.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: And the feedback is the honeymoon that you're not going
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: to get.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: My fiance also told them that he was super disappointed
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: in them and told me that he is backing up
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: my decision. Am I the a-hole? I'm willing to admit
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: I was in the wrong. And we do have an update.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: I don't think you're in the wrong for not wanting
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: people that you don't like at your wedding. But I do,
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: as we said, I think that there should have been
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: some thought gone into that decision. Well, the partner was
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: fine with it. Yeah, that's true. So it worked out.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: It did work out, so maybe OP's partner likes some
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: rash decisions. But we do have an update. Let's see
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: if this gets worse. It's been about two weeks since
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: the original conversation, and I wanted to provide an update
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: based on some of the feedback this post received. Thank
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: you to everyone that provided insight. I agree with the
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: majority of you that we're mostly concerned about punishing his
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: mother for the stepdad's behavior, because at the time she
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: hadn't really been participating in the conversation. Here's the update
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: on how conversations with her have played out. Stepdad was
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: removed from the group chat. And after letting things cool
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: as much as possible, my fiance and I agreed to
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: not send any more messages alone and rather discuss, edit,
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: and reframe anything we planned to say to his mom
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: as to not turn the heat back up. This method
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: was working okay, although I will admit to losing my temper.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: But every time we attempted to reiterate that, the issue
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: was stepdad's behavior, not money. His mom turned it back
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: to the money. According to her version of events, we
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: assigned the honeymoon costs to them while ignoring all other
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: wedding costs. She defended her husband, saying that he was
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: protecting his assets. Stepdad actually texted my father, saying that
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: I had asked them for money to pay for the
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: honeymoon and that I had indicated that I was planning
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: to go into massive credit card debt to pay for
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: the rest of the wedding. I guess this was supposed
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: to prompt my dad to offer to pay for everything.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: I cleared things up with my parents and reiterated to
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: them that I do not expect them to pay for
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: our wedding. And if they want to pay for things,
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: they can choose to at their discretion. Luckily, my parents
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: had both previously written off my fiancé' s stepdad as a
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: classist and self-absorbed person. So they weren't too overly hung
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: up on the insulting comments from him. My dad said
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: that he would take care of the cost of the reception,
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: which is our biggest expense in this wedding at $ 3, 000. 00.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: I offered to split it three ways between us, the
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: engaged couple, him, and my mother, but he insisted on
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: paying for all of it. And this is Papa. This
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: is Opie's Papa. So he has 3K. Yeah, I guess so.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: Of course, that takes a big weight off of our
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: shoulders financially and satisfies Stepdad's demand for commitment from my parents.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: But at this point, we aren't including Stepdad in the
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: financial discussion since we don't even want him there. We've
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: got a little bit left to the story. Any final thoughts?
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: I mean, he's not invited, so I guess you don't
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: have to worry about him anymore. We're not getting his money,
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: but you don't have to deal with his mouth either. Yeah, true.
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: This is like a win-win scenario. Well, it's slightly a
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: lose because we don't get the money. Yeah, but it
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: was blood money. Yeah, it was blood money. They would
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: have held that over you forever. That's what I'm thinking.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: I think he would have said like, oh, well, I
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: paid for the wedding. Well, I want to see your child.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: Seems like it's like more. I want your firstborn child
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: because I paid for the wedding.
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like it seems like it would be transactional in
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: a way, but I don't know.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: I don't know this guy, but he seems horrible, so.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: I don't know this guy, but he sucks. I wouldn't
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: put it past him. OP continues, we're both still pretty
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: upset because even though my fiance's mother is much more
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: reasonable and generous, she seems to be blinded by this
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: idea that we're apparently trying to take advantage of their wealth.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: We probably said, keep your money. We aren't asking you
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: for money. We don't want your money. I don't want it.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: At least six times already, and it just hasn't stuck.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: We reworked the honeymoon to be much cheaper and planned
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: to pay for it ourselves if we even still planned
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: to take one, which isn't necessary. It just would have
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: been nice. And you could take a, yeah, you can
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: take a much cheaper one. You could probably go to
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: somewhere closer. Like if you lived in the US, you
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: could take like a, probably get a flight for, 200
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: to 300. Or go on a little trip. You could
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: go on a road trip. Cross country trip. Cross country
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: trip to anywhere you want to go.
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: There's so many places.
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: The bigger problem is that my fiance feels like his
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: stepdad is ruining his relationship with his mother and doesn't
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: want to be on bad terms with her. Neither do I.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: Kind of at a loss. And that's the end of
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: that story. I don't know. Is she uninvited from the
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: It was kind of unclear if she was still invited. Stepmom?
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: Mom.
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: No, she said that she would take both seats out. Yeah,
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: I know. That's what I'm saying. But they're like, oh, well,
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: we still want a relationship with her. You definitely are
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: going to get rid of that relationship if you don't
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: invite her to her son's wedding. You can't really take
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: that back. And it's a little hard to just be like, oh,
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: one of you can come, one of you can't. Well,
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: I think what they could do is send her an invite, say,
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: you cannot bring him, and then she might not come,
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: but at least she's been invited, you know? Yeah, that's true. Like,
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: at least she can't say, like, oh, you didn't invite
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: me to your wedding, my only son's wedding. You know?
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: Even if she doesn't come.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: go on to the next one. Hey, it's Angie, your
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: favorite fake redhead host here, and we're going to get
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: back to the stories, but here's a three-minute ad break
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: from our sponsors.
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: My fiance's family demanded changes weeks before our wedding, and
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: I'm paying for everything. That's so funny, you guys actually
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: don't get a say. I, 24 female, am fed up
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: with my fiance's 28 male family BS in terms of
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: the wedding planning process. We are roughly two weeks away
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: from the wedding day, and everything is already very stressful
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: and going to be a race against time. But anyways,
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: I've been having issues with his family since the beginning
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: of our engagement. There was a rift between me and
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: his mother over details about picking my wedding dress. Then
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: no one on his side of the family would fill
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: out our address collector slash contact form. So we had
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: to change when we would send our wedding invitations twice.
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: His mom and sister were four hours late to my
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: bridal shower.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: Okay. I mean, how long was the bridal shower? Four hours.
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: Like, I feel like I would have been there and
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: left by the time they got there.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, oh God. Sorry, you missed it. You
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: missed the whole thing, guys.
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: Women from his family have asked about incorporating white into
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: their outfits and we're still waiting for people to RSVP
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: from his side of things. Just anytime anyone texted me,
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: is it okay if I wear white?
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: I just, no. Just a short, no.
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: What kind of ideal is, Women want to incorporate white
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: into their... What?
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah. No, no, no. Actually, you can't do that.
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from CautiousRespect683, and if you
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.
• 39:03
  Speaker 4: I'm Keon.
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: And we're here to talk about some stuff, get some advice,
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: but we don't have all the answers. We're only going
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: to tell you what we would do, but let us
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: know what you would do down in the comments.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: ASOP says.
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: And on top of all this last night, people from
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: his family were asking about inviting extended family to the
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: guest list.
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: No.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: Again, another quick no.
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: I just feel like it's bad etiquette to behave this way.
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: I'm stressed out of my mind already. with trying to
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: hunt down people we invited back in February, get everything
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: handled with vendors, and just 5.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: Million other things.
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: Maybe they just don't understand how weddings and wedding planning works,
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: but I just want to be left alone to tie
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: up the loose ends and be ready for the big
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: day on time. I was frustrated with how things were
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: going in regards to my fiancé' s family and just told
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: him essentially to shut down any questions or concerns or
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: inquiries in regards to the wedding. I don't want to
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: be asked about making any decisions or changes or anything
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: this close to the wedding, and he thinks I'm.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: Being a bit harsh. Well, then you deal with it, buddy.
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: So am I the a-hole for telling my fiancé? For
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: just like future reference, if anyone asks about changes in
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: regards to the wedding, we don't have to talk about it.
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: Just tell people no further changes are being made this
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: close to the wedding date and it's not up for discussion.
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: Am I the a-hole has no consensus, but OP was
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: not the a-hole.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know in what world you would be
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: the a-hole for being like, no, we're not going to
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: change any of that. Yeah. Oh, for you?
• 40:37
  Speaker 4: Oh, well, you know.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: Now that you've said for you. Get on the list, buddy.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: There's 20 people ahead of you.
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: And they all want to change something. And we're not
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: listening to them. To any of them.
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: And Opie's not being a bridezilla from what we have here.
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: She literally just said, no. And her husband was like,
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: that's kind of rude. We can't say no because it's
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: rude to say no.
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: Watch, I'll do it.
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: No. I mean, it is a little hard. I'm not
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: going to lie. It is a little hard, especially if
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: it's like your family. You don't want to disappoint them.
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: And they're like, no, this should be, you know, what
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: you're doing.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: It's like, no.
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: My question is, have they ever acted like this before?
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: Probably.
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: Probably.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: But also weddings are like big stressors and stuff and
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: people have a lot of opinions about weddings that they
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: might not show prior.
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: There are some relevant comments. OP clarifies the details on
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: her fiance's mother and sister being late to the bridal shower.
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: OP responds, oh, the bridal shower wasn't four hours long.
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: They just showed up four hours late. The shower started
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: at one, but we delayed start time due to everyone,
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: including me. getting caught in some traffic. So the shower
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: was from two to five, including a big lunch. And
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: they showed up at five 30.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, so, so they did show up after they missed it.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: They delayed it by an hour and they still missed it.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: That's crazy.
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: Comment to number one says you've allowed this to go
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: on too long. And that's on you, not your fiance.
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay. It is his family.
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: So now you are dealing with more BS. You need
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: to shut it down now.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: Will this piss them off? Yes.
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: If you don't shut it down, they will be late
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: to your baby shower. They will interfere with the way
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: you raise your kids, etc.
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: Not the A-Hall!
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: OP responds, I only extended the address line because if
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: I hadn't, my fiancé would have had 10 people on
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: the guest list to my 65. I wanted him to
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: be able to truly gather everyone he needed to. And
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: they did miss the shower. They walked in halfway through
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: gift opening and were walking out the door... 15 to
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: 20 minutes later. They can't manipulate me. Every time they
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: ask me things directly, I shut it down. They're resorting
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: to go through my fiance because they can frame things
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: differently and open him up to feel okay discussing things
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: with me. Who is paying for the wedding? OP responds,
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: I'm paying for the whole wedding. My fiance is paying
• 42:58
  Speaker 3: for everything travel and honeymoon related. Relatives are doing nothing
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: but showing up.
• 43:03
  Speaker 4: Great. Easy. Easy thing is shut up. Yeah.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Every time they bring up something, you go, oh,
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: are you paying for the wedding? I didn't know you
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: were paying for the wedding. Oh, you're not? Then shut up.
• 43:14
  Speaker 4: I know it's always hard when people are like, oh,
• 43:16
  Speaker 4: you know, in-laws are paying for this. So, you know,
• 43:18
  Speaker 4: they want a little say in this or that.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: But they're not paying for it. So shut up.
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: I don't understand why just because they're paying for it. Like,
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: don't you want to just support your, you know, son, daughter, whatever?
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: Don't you want to just support them? Well, that's if
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: they're like a good person.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: It's like we read all these stories that are like, okay,
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: since I'm paying for it, you have to do everything
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: I want.
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: Everything I want. And it's like, well, then I don't
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: want to take your money. Now I can't pay for it.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: Now I'm in debt. Thanks.
• 43:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh, man.
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: At least I got my way. I don't want your money.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: There's an update. Two days later.
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: This update may be earlier than expected, but I also
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: wasn't expecting to get a call from his grandma today either.
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: So two days ago, my fiance asked me on behalf
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: of his mother if two extended family could be added
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: to the guest list. And as we are two weeks
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: away from our wedding, I told him that just can't
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: happen this close to the wedding. And he also didn't
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: even originally invite them.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: This is so terrible. Oh, he has to be like
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: the coordinator. And he's like, oh, mom, can I can
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: I invite two more people? And she's like, no, sweetie,
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: as I told you, it's two weeks away from our wedding. Like,
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: it feels like she's parenting him.
• 44:34
  Speaker 4: I just hope this isn't going to be your relationship
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: for the rest of your life.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: Can we can we can we have some candy tonight?
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: And he's like, no, in the eyes when you speak. Yeah,
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: speak up. Speak up. What did you say? Louder. Call
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: me sir. Stop mumbling. Call me sir. Sir, can we
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: have some candy, please? Call me master.
• 44:55
  Speaker 3: I could also tell he was being pressured to bring
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: it up. But anyways, I told him no and told
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: him to tell his family to give me space about
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: wedding stuff because we're in the final stretch and changes
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: are no longer negotiable. They were never negotiable, but you
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: know what I mean. Anyhow, I get off work today,
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: and only two weekends, including this one, stand between me
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: and the wedding, and I just want to settle into
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: the bliss. But then I get a call from an
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: unsaved number, but I thought it was my doctor's office,
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: so I picked up. To a very disgruntled grandma, mother-in-law's mother,
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: grilling me about the guest list.
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you go, sorry, wrong number.
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: Beep. Asking me what was going on, why some people
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: were invited and not others, and what can I do
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: to change it, and I explained that I took the
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: guest list from my fiancé and anyone who was an
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: immediate family I didn't recognize or ask questions because it's
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: my fiancé' s list of people he wanted to invite. which
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: she angrily said I should have asked her for who
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: should be invited, not my fiance.
• 45:58
  Speaker 4: Well, you can yell at my fiance, not me.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, am I marrying you now, grandma? Why is the
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: grandma pissed now? You should have just asked me to
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: invite people. Didn't OP say earlier that there were only
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: going to be like 10 people on fiance's side? Wasn't
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: this in the story? I just remember her saying, oh,
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: there would only be 10 people. It feels like OP's
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: fiancee just didn't actually put a lot of thought into
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: the guest list. He was just like, oh, I don't know,
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: my parents. Yeah.
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: I think he expected his parents to figure it out,
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: but didn't actually tell them to figure it out.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: And then they're like, oh, why don't you invite this?
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: And then he's like, oh, wait, right. Yeah, it's like, oh,
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: I forgot about that.
• 46:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, OP said, I only extended the address because if
• 46:45
  Speaker 4: I hadn't, my fiance would have only had 10 people
• 46:47
  Speaker 4: on the guest list to my 65.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it feels like he just never actually... did the
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: work or asked, oh, who do I need to bring?
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: And he was just like, oh, someone else will figure
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: it out for me. And that's so frustrating.
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: To which I then realized I never gave her my number.
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: So how on earth did she get it? Anyways, after
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: I somehow got off the phone with her, I told
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: my fiance everything. And he immediately called her and told
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: her to back off and to spread the word that
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: the wedding is ours and it's in two weeks and
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: it's not up for discussion. And if they have issues
• 47:20
  Speaker 3: to call him, not me. His grandma even sent her apologies. However,
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: now I'm a tiny bit worried how the wedding will unfold,
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: but for now, maybe I'll have some peace and quiet
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: until the big day. If not, I'll start cussing people
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: out myself. There are some relevant top comments. Did OP's
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: fiance give her number to his grandma prior to the
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: phone call? OP responds, it was not him. I suspect
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: it was either his sister or mom. He was at
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: work when all of this happened, so he used one
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: of his breaks to make sure I was okay after
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: I sent him a million texts, and then he called
• 47:55
  Speaker 3: his grandma. Why she needed to just say hello, I
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: don't know.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: That's weird.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: go on to.
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: The next one.
• 48:04
  Speaker 4: My roommate's girlfriend ruined my kitchen, so I banned her
• 48:08
  Speaker 4: from it. I, 26 male, live with my best friend, Brian,
• 48:11
  Speaker 4: 26 male, in a rented house. Sometime in September, Brian
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: started dating Cindy, 24, I think. Brian can't cook.
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: At all.
• 48:25
  Speaker 4: He can make scrambled eggs, instant ramen, frozen pizza, and
• 48:28
  Speaker 4: that's about it. He doesn't even know how to cook rice.
• 48:32
  Speaker 4: Everyone point at him and laugh. Don't do that. That's mean.
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: Get a rice cooker, dude.
• 48:36
  Speaker 4: Also, how about, have you asked Brian, hey, do you
• 48:39
  Speaker 4: want me to show you how to cook, or do
• 48:41
  Speaker 4: you want help with that?
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: Let me teach you some things.
• 48:43
  Speaker 4: Let me show you the ropes, Brian. I, on the
• 48:46
  Speaker 4: other hand, I am a great cook. And I occasionally,
• 48:50
  Speaker 4: three to five times a month, cook for him as well.
• 48:53
  Speaker 4: Cindy has been staying over more and more often. And
• 48:55
  Speaker 4: a few weeks ago, she was sleeping over on the
• 48:57
  Speaker 4: same day I cooked for Brian. She was apparently really
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: shocked I cooked it because she said it tastes like
• 49:03
  Speaker 4: it's from a pricey restaurant. Brian made the mistake of
• 49:06
  Speaker 4: mentioning that I offered to teach him to cook.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, there you are, Keon. There you are. He did
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: teach you. He did offer. You did offer Brian said,
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: I don't care.
• 49:16
  Speaker 4: Listeners, you can't see me. I'm going to start tapping it.
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how I feel.
• 49:18
  Speaker 4: It's on the nose.
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: That's how I feel. when my boyfriend cooks for people.
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: I'm like.
• 49:27
  Speaker 4: Cindy decided that this offer automatically extends to her as well.
• 49:32
  Speaker 4: She came to me and told me that I could
• 49:34
  Speaker 4: teach her. She didn't ask. She just told me.
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: You teach me now. I'm your student. I'm your student,
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: you teach me.
• 49:41
  Speaker 4: She has like a chef hat and a whisk.
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: She goes, chef, you will teach me.
• 49:45
  Speaker 4: Yes, chef.
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: Yes, chef, you will teach me.
• 49:47
  Speaker 4: Honestly, that sounds kind of fun.
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I must study the blade. Teach me.
• 49:53
  Speaker 4: But OP says, I told her I wouldn't. We went
• 49:56
  Speaker 4: back and forth. She thinks I have to because I
• 49:59
  Speaker 4: promised Brian I'd teach him, but he doesn't want to learn.
• 50:03
  Speaker 4: As you can tell, Cindy also doesn't know how to
• 50:05
  Speaker 4: cook anything.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: What do you mean? How did these people grow to
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: like 24 and whatever age Brian is and not learn
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: how to cook anything? Aye, aye, aye. Your parents failed you.
• 50:17
  Speaker 4: Opie continues saying she thinks she's entitled to cooking lessons
• 50:21
  Speaker 4: because she's dating my friend. She kept pestering me about
• 50:25
  Speaker 4: this for almost three effing weeks and only stopped when
• 50:30
  Speaker 4: I asked Brian to talk to her. By the way,
• 50:33
  Speaker 4: This comes from user ThrowawayKitchenBan. And if you want to
• 50:36
  Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 50:39
  Speaker 4: I'm Keon.
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: I'm Sophia. I'm Dakota.
• 50:43
  Speaker 4: And us three, we don't know everything. We only know
• 50:45
  Speaker 4: what we do. So let us know what you do
• 50:47
  Speaker 4: in the comments down below. As OP says. Now, last
• 50:52
  Speaker 4: week I got home and could immediately smell burnt food.
• 50:56
  Speaker 4: Is this on OP? Is this on Brian? Is this
• 51:00
  Speaker 4: on Cindy? I'm kind of going and leaning.
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: It's on whoever burnt the food.
• 51:06
  Speaker 4: Whoever burnt the food, but. Yes.
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: However, Opie could have prevented it. He could have prevented it.
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: You could have stopped this tragedy.
• 51:16
  Speaker 4: I feel like if Cindy asked in a nicer way,
• 51:19
  Speaker 4: instead of demanding, I need to learn. Like, you're going
• 51:21
  Speaker 4: to teach me how to learn. She's like, I want
• 51:23
  Speaker 4: to learn. Mm-hmm.
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 51:26
  Speaker 4: Opie continues saying, I smell burnt food. I walked into
• 51:29
  Speaker 4: the kitchen, and there she was. She tried to make crepes,
• 51:33
  Speaker 4: burned them to a crisp, and was scraping them with
• 51:36
  Speaker 4: a metal spatula on a non-stick pancake pan.
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: No, no.
• 51:42
  Speaker 4: And that's where Opie's just staring and his eyes twitching
• 51:45
  Speaker 4: a little bit.
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: Number one rule, don't use any metal on a non-stick pan. Oh,
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: and now she owes you a new pan.
• 51:52
  Speaker 4: This is what Gordon was talking about when he said
• 51:54
  Speaker 4: kitchen nightmares.
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, this is my nightmare. My nightmare, I just
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: got new non-stick pans.
• 51:59
  Speaker 4: And as all three of us had lost it, Opie
• 52:02
  Speaker 4: continued saying, I slightly lost it, and I immediately raised
• 52:06
  Speaker 4: my voice to ask her what the F she was doing.
• 52:10
  Speaker 4: She gave me an attitude about how, since I'm an a-hole,
• 52:13
  Speaker 4: she's learning to cook by herself. I told her she
• 52:16
  Speaker 4: can do that at her home and not in our kitchen.
• 52:20
  Speaker 4: She smugly told me it's not my decision to make
• 52:22
  Speaker 4: because it's Brian's place as well. I told her, it's
• 52:25
  Speaker 4: my decision because everything in the kitchen is... Mine. When
• 52:30
  Speaker 4: we moved in the kitchen, it was empty apart from
• 52:32
  Speaker 4: a single banged-up pan, one pot, and three dull knives
• 52:35
  Speaker 4: with crappy plastic handles. The kitchen is now chef-worthy. I
• 52:40
  Speaker 4: dropped hundreds on appliances, cookware, nice dinnerware, etc. Brian is,
• 52:44
  Speaker 4: of course, allowed to use everything in the kitchen. I
• 52:47
  Speaker 4: told Sydney that she is not allowed to cook anything
• 52:49
  Speaker 4: in our kitchen anymore. Brian came into the kitchen at
• 52:52
  Speaker 4: this point and defused the argument. And that was last week.
• 52:56
  Speaker 4: Things between Brian and me are very awkward. Cindy has
• 52:59
  Speaker 4: not been over since. One of my friends absolutely went
• 53:02
  Speaker 4: off on me, calling me smexist and classist because not
• 53:07
  Speaker 4: everyone has the same opportunities. We also have a fun
• 53:10
  Speaker 4: side note from my OP saying, I grew up poor.
• 53:13
  Speaker 4: I learned to cook on my own.
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: Exactly, that's what I'm saying. It doesn't make sense to
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: be like, this is classist because if you don't have
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: a lot of money, you kind of have to learn
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: how to do things on your own because you don't
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: have people... Who can just be like, oh, well, I
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: have time to make food for my children.
• 53:28
  Speaker 4: So they're not going to have to learn. I learned
• 53:31
  Speaker 4: how to make great tasting meals out of ramen, hot dogs, rice,
• 53:34
  Speaker 4: whatever was on clearance, etc. I don't think I'm the
• 53:37
  Speaker 4: a-hole for refusing to teach, but I am wondering if
• 53:39
  Speaker 4: banning her from the kitchen was a step too far.
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: I don't think you can ban her from the kitchen
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: that is also Brian's. But however, I do think you
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: can ban her from your stuff.
• 53:49
  Speaker 4: Your cookware.
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you could be like, that's my cookware. Don't use that. Like,
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: get your own if you want to practice.
• 53:54
  Speaker 4: I feel like, you know what you do? We just
• 53:57
  Speaker 4: start fresh. Put on Ratatouille.
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: Put on Ratatouille. Teach. You go, hey, girl. We're going
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: to watch a master class video on how to cook.
• 54:06
  Speaker 4: This is like the classic, like, the teacher doesn't want
• 54:09
  Speaker 4: to teach, but he's fine. This is Ratatouille.
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: This is, like, she is freaking linguine. And then you're Colette's?
• 54:16
  Speaker 4: Colette, yes.
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: Colette? Yeah, you're Colette and you're like, and mommy is
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: not in the kitchen. Is mommy not here to help you?
• 54:21
  Speaker 4: What are you doing?
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what are you doing? You do that whole fast monologue.
• 54:27
  Speaker 4: Lopi continues saying, it's just that I really don't like her.
• 54:31
  Speaker 4: And honestly, I don't trust her not to damage something
• 54:34
  Speaker 4: on purpose. Maybe that's what it is.
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: Lopi's like, at the end of the day, the real
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: reason is she just sucks.
• 54:43
  Speaker 4: There's an edit. The pan is... Thank goodness. The pan
• 54:47
  Speaker 4: is fine.
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: I'm surprised.
• 54:48
  Speaker 4: The coal that was supposed to become crepes protected the
• 54:52
  Speaker 4: actual pan. We have some comments here, and Opie added
• 54:56
  Speaker 4: in the comments, My friend grew up middle class and
• 54:58
  Speaker 4: seems to think poor people cannot cook because they can't
• 55:01
  Speaker 4: afford it. Your friend is also an idiot.
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: Your friend's stupid. Again, that's just not how that works.
• 55:09
  Speaker 4: True for families permanently living in, let's say, motels where
• 55:13
  Speaker 4: they don't have access to a kitchen. But personally... I
• 55:15
  Speaker 4: think poor people are more likely to know how to cook.
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: Yes, or at least, like, that's not even saying cook well.
• 55:22
  Speaker 4: It's not saying, like, Chef Gordon Ramsay, you know, souffle, whatever.
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: It's saying, like, I know how to make eggs. I
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: know how to make simple meals.
• 55:31
  Speaker 4: Because I needed to survive.
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because I had a parent who was working all
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: the time. So I, as a child or as a minor,
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: had to learn how to feed myself.
• 55:39
  Speaker 4: And guess what? Did it start out real good? Did
• 55:41
  Speaker 4: I burn myself a couple times? Did I do stuff
• 55:43
  Speaker 4: that really, you know, scarred me for life? Probably.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the fact that she does not know how to
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: cook anything proves to me that she probably grew up
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: some sort of middle class.
• 55:53
  Speaker 4: As a kid, we could never afford takeout or to
• 55:55
  Speaker 4: go out to eat, so we cooked whatever we had.
• 55:58
  Speaker 4: And now to the comments. Comment number one says, not
• 56:01
  Speaker 4: the a-hole. You do not mess with someone's cooking stuff.
• 56:04
  Speaker 4: I just got a new set of Yakushi knives that
• 56:07
  Speaker 4: I'm obsessed with.
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: I want new knives.
• 56:09
  Speaker 4: Someone just wanted to flex they got some knives.
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I just got some knives.
• 56:12
  Speaker 4: If someone was using them without my permission and using
• 56:15
  Speaker 4: them incorrectly... I would flip my lid, especially if they
• 56:18
  Speaker 4: were acting as entitled as the girlfriend. Absolutely not the a-hole. However,
• 56:23
  Speaker 4: if you feel like sharing some sweet appliances you have,
• 56:26
  Speaker 4: then I need, in my kitchen, I'm all ears, lol.
• 56:30
  Speaker 4: OP says, if I had Yakushi knives in my kitchen,
• 56:33
  Speaker 4: I would never get anything done because I would be
• 56:36
  Speaker 4: too busy worshipping them. Unfortunately, money is tight due to
• 56:40
  Speaker 4: the vid, so that will remain a dream for me
• 56:42
  Speaker 4: for now. Not gonna say the specific model as I'm
• 56:45
  Speaker 4: not sure They are making them anymore, and I bought
• 56:48
  Speaker 4: it in Europe a few years ago, but I think
• 56:50
  Speaker 4: everyone should have a hand blender with accessories. Mine came
• 56:53
  Speaker 4: not only with different heads, but also with two containers
• 56:57
  Speaker 4: where you plug the blender on top and you can
• 56:58
  Speaker 4: change the blades, and they will either blend, chop, grate, slice,
• 57:02
  Speaker 4: or mix bread dough. I much prefer it over a
• 57:05
  Speaker 4: traditional food processor or a blender.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, I honestly prefer a food processor.
• 57:10
  Speaker 4: Look at these chefs talking on the internet. They just go... Yeah, there's, yeah.
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: I mean, it is expensive, but I do, I mean, like,
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: a blender is usually cheaper, so it probably would be
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: better if you were on a budget. I do like,
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: I have a food processor, and I do like it.
• 57:23
  Speaker 4: Okay, we have an update, Sophia. All jokes aside, Cindy's
• 57:27
  Speaker 4: never touching your, my appliances ever again.
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, no, no.
• 57:31
  Speaker 4: But we should talk to Brian and be like, Brian,
• 57:34
  Speaker 4: I think it's time for you to learn how to
• 57:35
  Speaker 4: cook so you know yourself better. But also, you could
• 57:38
  Speaker 4: teach your girlfriend how to cook.
• 57:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you can teach your girlfriend. And yeah,
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: you go to Brian, you go, hey, I don't really
• 57:43
  Speaker 2: want to cook for you anymore, but I do want
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: to teach you. So, like, get up here and we're
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: going to learn. I'm going to teach you at least
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: how to cook one meal. You're going to get really
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: good at one meal and that's it.
• 57:52
  Speaker 4: Fried rice. Something simple.
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: Fried rice is so easy.
• 57:54
  Speaker 4: Mmm, curry fried rice.
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: A curry fried rice? Curry barker fried rice?
• 58:00
  Speaker 4: Update. Ah, it blew up a lot more than I thought. So,
• 58:04
  Speaker 4: to answer some questions... I already disliked Cindy prior to
• 58:08
  Speaker 4: this because she was unfriendly to me since we met.
• 58:11
  Speaker 4: Not saying hi back, glaring at me whenever I walked
• 58:13
  Speaker 4: into the common area where she was, interrupting every conversation
• 58:17
  Speaker 4: I had with Brian, etc. I love Brian. I'm not
• 58:21
  Speaker 4: in love with him. Do none of you have friends
• 58:23
  Speaker 4: close enough they count as family? The Schmexis and Classis
• 58:27
  Speaker 4: comments were from a friend who recently started getting involved
• 58:29
  Speaker 4: in all sorts of activism after living, in my opinion,
• 58:33
  Speaker 4: a sheltered life.
• 58:34
  Speaker 2: Sounds like she's a fake activist. Well, you know what?
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to say she sounds like a fake activist.
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: It sounds like she's a new activist. Because I think
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: a lot of new young activists sometimes get caught in
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: this kind of like, I have to be an activist
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: for everything.
• 58:49
  Speaker 4: I have to be the very best.
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: I am a warrior. I am a warrior and I
• 58:53
  Speaker 2: have to fight everything, every battle, even if it's not
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: a battle I should be fighting.
• 58:57
  Speaker 4: My friend is coming from a good place, I think.
• 59:00
  Speaker 4: Is that they're just very sensitive. Yeah. The Schmex's bit
• 59:05
  Speaker 4: probably relates to me not wanting to attend every single
• 59:07
  Speaker 4: woman's right march and protest that she's invited. me to.
• 59:11
  Speaker 4: I also tried to bring up this situation with Brian
• 59:13
  Speaker 4: again today, and he full on flinched and shook his head.
• 59:16
  Speaker 4: What are you? No, no.
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he wakes up. Oh, sorry. God, I had a dream.
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: I was cooking.
• 59:28
  Speaker 4: Thanks to people who suggested cooking something with a really
• 59:31
  Speaker 4: delicious aroma when Cindy's over next time. You all are
• 59:35
  Speaker 4: so petty. I love it. And that's the end of that.
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: Well, there you go. You know what, Opie? You're fine.
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: You're fine. Keep cooking. Keep cooking, good looking.
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: go on to the next one.
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: My friend gifted me a shirt, then demanded I pay
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: her back. Hey, give me your pants, too. Me, 18 female,
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: and Melissa, 17 female, have been friends for two years.
• 59:58
  Speaker 2: We hang out usually once a week and we're fairly close.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: My birthday was two weeks ago and last week we
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: went shopping together. She had a gift card she received
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 2: over the holiday and insisted on spending it on me.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: I'm talking major insistence. She picked out a shirt, made
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: me try it on, said it looked amazing, pranced over
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: the cash register, bought it with the gift card, said
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: happy birthday and handed it to me. Honestly, I didn't
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 2: even want or like that shirt that much. I would
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: have never bought it for myself. But I still said
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: thank you and said she really didn't have to get
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: it for me, that a present was unnecessary. She said
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: she didn't want to spend the gift card on herself
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: and that she just wanted to give me a present.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: So fast forward two days at school, she was totally
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: icing me out. I walked up to her at her
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: locker and she completely ignored me and walked away. I
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: asked some of our friends if she was okay and
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: they said I should really pay her back because it
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: was a witch move to use her present to buy
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 2: myself a shirt. And then you say, I didn't do that. Yeah,
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, wait, what? I didn't do that. She
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: wanted to. She offered to. She like really wanted to. Well, no,
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 2: you just say she bought me a shirt for my birthday.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: I didn't use her gift card. By the way, a
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: shirt that I didn't even want. What the F? By
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Don't Know What To Do 9.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: to the r slash showcase story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: And I'm Savannah. And we're here to give good advice goofily,
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers. So if you've
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: got answers, put them down below. And OP says, I
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 2: told them she insisted on buying it for me. They
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: were confused, but they said I should probably just pay
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: her back so there's no drama. I'm pissed off because
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 2: I didn't even want this ugly shirt. And I don't
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: know why she's creating drama over it. I had enough
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: money with me to pay for the shirt that day.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: So I walked up to her and later and said, hey,
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: I have the money for the shirt. And she still
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: ignored me and walked away. Then what's the issue? Is
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: that not the issue? I think you need to record this.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: I think you need to record you being like, have
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 2: the money for the shirt. Do you want it? She goes,
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: how am I supposed to pay her back if she
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: won't let me? This is driving me crazy. And there
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: is an update. What do you do? I mean, I'd
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: be like, what? is your problem.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah. That's what I'm doing. I'm going up and I'm,
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 3: you know, I would do it after school. Cause obviously like,
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 2: After school in the parking lot, 3 PM, what's your problem?
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: Bring your lunch money. Yeah. I don't, I would, I would.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 3: Immediately, you know, I'd be like, Hey, can we talk
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 3: after school? Like, is that what is going on? Like,
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 3: and then also I would tell her like, You're, you know,
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 3: our friends are saying this, that, and the other thing.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: Is that true? Is that what you're telling them? Also, like,
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: why did you not just ask me for the money?
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: You know, like, why didn't you just say, hey, could
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: you pay me back? Like, you never asked me. So
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: clearly she's lying for attention. Yeah.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: And I just don't understand. Maybe she like, I don't,
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 3: I really don't know. I don't know why she would
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 3: be acting this way.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: She's weird. But we got an update. Okay, so there's
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: some more background needed for this update. Melissa and I
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 2: both applied early action to the same two universities a
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: few months ago. We didn't know this until we both
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: found out we were accepted to both. There is a
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: strong possibility of us attending the same small university. We
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: are also in a science class together where we were
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: recently assigned as lab partners. Most of the responses on
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: my last post said to just give her back the shirt.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: I thought that would only make things worse, and I
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 2: didn't see how I could just give it back if
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 2: she was literally not going to be responsive to taking it.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 2: She's just been icing me out completely. I took a
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: suggestion of texting her. This is what I said. Hey, Melissa,
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: so I want to clear up what happened today. I'm
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: pretty confused, and I'm sorry that we had a misunderstanding.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: I can return the shirt if you can give me
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 2: the receipt so the credit can go back to your
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: gift card, or I can bring it to school if
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: you would rather do the return yourself. She responded back, no,
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: keep the shirt. It was your birthday present.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: What?
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: What is going on? And then you post that everywhere.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 2: I don't normally advocate posting things everywhere, but you post
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: that everywhere. Are the friends lying? Like, I don't understand.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: So I asked why she expected me to pay her
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 2: back if it was a present, and she did not respond.
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: I figured, oh, well, I tried. Who knows what this
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: crazy witch is thinking? So this was last night after
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: making my post. Today at school, I was called out
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: of class to go to the principal's office. Apparently, I've
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: been bullying Melissa through text messages, had stolen gift card
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: money from her, and needed to show them my phone.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure they aren't allowed to ask that, but
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: I didn't care because I knew I had nothing to hide.
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 2: They looked through my phone and said I could go
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 2: back to class and was at risk of suspension if
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: the investigation shows I was bullying her. Why is she
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: going scorched earth on you? This is insane. This girl
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 2: is crazy. She's crazy. She hates you for some reason.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think she's like trying to sabotage you. I
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 3: think she became friends with you just to sabotage you,
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: which is crazy.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 2: Two years? Two years of scheming this? Don't tell her
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: where you're going to school. Well, I mean, I think
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: they're going to the same place. Well, two options. So
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 2: there's a 50-50 chance. Also, she was going to be
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 2: assigned a different lab partner so that she wouldn't have
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 2: to be traumatized. They literally said that. I told the
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 2: principal that I actually felt I was being bullied because
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 2: she bought me something and told all of my friends
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 2: I was a witch for using her gift card money
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 2: when it was her offering and insisting on doing it.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 2: And now she's trying to F up my life, Regina
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 2: George style. I mean, you have the text. You have
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 2: the text. There's evidence. I went home at lunch. I
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: live close to school, brought back the shirt and just
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: asked a friend to give it to her who texted
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 2: me that she did give the shirt to Melissa. Same
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: friend told me Melissa hopes that if I am suspended,
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: the university will rescind my admission and she can go
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 2: there without having to worry about me. Not sure what
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 2: she even has to worry about. I guess she's threatened
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 2: by the fact that I have better grades than her.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 2: That's all I can think of. Anyways, now she has
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 2: that fugly shirt and shouldn't need anything more from me.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 2: But the school is still doing some sort of investigation.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: There's an edit. Any final thoughts? this girl's delusional. I
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 2: don't know what's wrong with her. I don't even think
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 2: she's delusional. I think she's doing all of this on
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: purpose because she's jealous of OP or something.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 3: And like, doesn't want, like maybe thinks that she's, yeah.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 3: Like stole her friends and all this stuff. She's like,
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 3: and if we go to the same college, it'll be
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 3: the same again. Yeah.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: But, uh, clearly that's not what you're doing at all.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 2: And it's kind of ridiculous that the school, I mean, Good, yes,
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 2: that they're following up on a claim of bullying, but
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: also it's so clearly disproven when they look at your phone,
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 2: which they also cannot do.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 3: And also, like, you can look at the receipts for
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 3: all of the, you know, like, actual receipts for, like,
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 3: the clothes or the gift card or whatever you got.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: It's like, she said that. Like, I'm not insane, guys.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: I'm not. I swear. And also, how would I have
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 2: bullied her into using her gift card?
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 3: What?
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 2: Edit, I've told my parents about all of this going down.
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: They're upset and are ready to fight on my behalf
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: with the school if necessary. It's so smart that you
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 2: texted her. But they also think that I should go
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 2: to the university even if Melissa goes there because they
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 2: don't think I should let her determine what I do
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: with my life. It's a prestigious Ivy League. And they
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 2: would be devastated if I chose not to go because
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 2: of her. But I really can't imagine being with her
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: for the next four years. I know high school is
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 2: different than college, but it's a small school, and we
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: would be getting a degree in the same field. Edit
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: number two says, a lot of people are saying, no
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: matter how small the school is, you won't see each other, etc.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: That's not true. That's not true. Yeah, especially if you're
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 2: doing the same major. I went to a ginormous school,
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: and I always ran into people. I went to one
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 2: of the biggest schools, maybe not in the country, but
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 2: certainly in California. We had 30,000 students, and I ran
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 2: into people all the time. I had like 1,000. At
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 2: my school. And did you run into people?
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 4: I mean, I.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 2: Would run into people, like, what do you mean? Would
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 2: you see people that you knew? I mean, yeah, because
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 2: we would have class together. Well, outside of class.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 3: Outside of class? I mean, unless we were making plans together,
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 3: then no, not really.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's crazy. Maybe having a bigger campus means you're
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 2: more likely. I don't know. I mean, yeah.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 3: Like, I would see my friends, like, like for example
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 3: like marching band or something like i'd go to like
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 3: rehearsal for marching band or i see them at the
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 3: games obviously i always saw people in passing i'd be
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 3: like oh my god hey in passing i mean like
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 3: that's what i'm saying yeah like sometimes i don't know
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 3: depends when i say we're getting the same degree, I
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 3: mean there's literally less than 15 people, including undergrads and grads,
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 3: in the program all studying with the same professor. Even
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 3: if we live in different halls and take GEs separately,
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 3: there's no way we won't be in contact at least
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 3: twice a week for the four years.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 2: I mean, hopefully, hopefully your school's investigation proves that she
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 2: is actually trying to make all of these lies up
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 2: about you. And then they could send that to the
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 2: college and say, hey, you know, the student is trying to.
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 4: It's just the.
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 2: Fact of like, why go through all this for what?
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 2: Because you don't want to go to the same college
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 2: as someone. I guess so. You want to sabotage their life.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: Hopes and dreams, you know?
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 5: And that's the end of the story. We're going to
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 5: go on to the next one. Hey, it's Dakota, your
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 5: favorite goofball host here. And we're going to get back
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 5: to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 5: our sponsors.
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 2: My friend visited for a weekend and treated me like
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 2: her maid. And where is your uniform? My friend, 27 female,
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: asked if she could stay with me, 26 female, for
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 2: a weekend because she wanted a break from work and
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 2: said she'd love to catch up. We've been friends for years,
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 2: so I happily said yes. I cleaned the apartment, stocked
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 2: the fridge with snacks I knew she liked, and even
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 2: planned a couple of activities around town. The first evening
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 2: was fine, but by Saturday morning I realized I had
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 2: accidentally booked myself as the unpaid staff at an all-inclusive resort.
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 2: She slept until almost noon while I made breakfast. When
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: she finally got up, she asked if I could make
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 2: her coffee because she was still waking up. She left
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 2: her dishes on the table, dropped her clothes on the
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 2: bathroom floor, and every time we got back from somewhere,
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: she'd collapse on the couch and ask if I could
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 2: grab her water, because I was already standing or moving about.
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from CompetitiveSleep742, and if you
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: slash showcase story time subreddit. I'm Sophia. And I'm Savannah.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 2: And Opie says... I suggested we go for a walk,
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 2: visit a local market, watch a movie, or even play
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 2: board games. Every suggestion got a shrug, followed by, whatever
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 2: you want, if you say so. Only for her to
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 2: complain once we were there that she was bored or tired.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 2: I guess her social battery was low and she just
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 2: needed to rest. By Sunday, I'd done all the cooking,
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 2: all the cleaning, all the driving, and she'd contributed exactly
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 2: one thing, a growing pile of cups and blankets for
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 2: me to pick up And at first that was okay,
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: but now it's the norm. The breaking point came when
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 2: I started washing the breakfast dishes before taking her to
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 2: the airport. She looked at me and asked if I
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: could hurry, but she doesn't want to be late. She
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 2: didn't offer to help despite standing there scrolling on her phone.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 2: I finally said, I love you, but hosting you has
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 2: been exhausting. I feel like I've spent the weekend taking
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 2: care of you instead of spending time with you. And
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 2: we've got a little bit left to this story. Any
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 2: final thoughts before we get into the home stretch? I
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: don't know.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 3: I feel like I've had friends like this, but then
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 3: I just will say like, like when I just hosted
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 3: my cousin, when she was here, she like threw all
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 3: of her stuff like everywhere.
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 2: And I'd be like, why am I stepping on your underwear?
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 2: And she'd be like, sorry. Like, I just like, yeah,
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 2: I just like say it.
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 3: I'd be like, I don't make it like, you know, like, okay,
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 3: I'm going to lay down the law now.
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like, it's more like, are
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 2: you going to wear that? Is that why it's there?
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 3: Like, it's a general question that she's like, oh, no,
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 3: I would just like ask and be like.
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 2: Hey, like clean up your dishes. Hey, can you move
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 2: your clothes? I don't know, but maybe OP is not
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 2: as close to this person. It feels a little awkward
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 2: doing that. I don't know. She said they were like
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 2: friends forever. Yeah, I don't know.
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 3: This is not, if my friend forever was staying with
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 3: me and acting like this, I'd be, I'd be a
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 3: lot more, hey, clean your stuff.
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 3: I mean, like I get I'm hosting you, but that doesn't,
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 3: That doesn't mean like, oh, you can do whatever you
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 3: want and you're on vacation and I have to pick
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 3: up after you.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, my friends will make breakfast for me and,
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 2: you know, they'll be nice and stuff. But I always
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 2: like to cook for other people, too. I'm like, let
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 2: me do something for you. She got defensive and said
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 2: that guests are supposed to relax and that I was
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 2: making her feel unwelcome over a few chores. And I
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 2: know how she is. She's always trying to conserve energy
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 2: for the next task. Since then, she's been telling mutual
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 2: friends that I was a terrible host and made her
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 2: feel guilty for visiting. Some think I should have been
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 2: quiet since we all know how lazy she is. Am
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 2: I the a-hole, though?
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 4: No.
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 2: No, for calling her out, for being lazy. Apparently everyone knows.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 2: She's an adult. You guys are both adults. You can
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 2: pick up after yourself. That's just how it is. Absolutely.
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 2: And anyone who's like, oh, well, you just apologize. Like, no.
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 5: No.
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 3: She's just not going to come back to my place. Yeah,
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 3: you're just not welcome here. If you're not going to
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 3: abide by my rules, then you're not coming back to
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 3: my house. Yeah. Oh, no.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 2: I don't get to see you anymore.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 3: Bummer. Like did they, did your parents or like teachers,
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 3: like no one said like leave it better than you
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 3: found it?
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 2: Pick up after yourself. Clean. Yeah. It's like, I don't know.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 3: I could see like maybe like a day, like maybe
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 3: you were trying on a bunch of outfits and just like,
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 3: you know, just didn't realize they were on the floor.
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 3: And then it's like, oh, now we have to go
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 3: and whatnot. But then don't you like pick it up after?
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 3: Be like, oh, I can't, you know. I don't leave
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 3: my room a mess. I love coming back to a
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 3: nice room. So like my sister's the complete opposite though.
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 3: She will try on 15 outfits. They'll be, the whole
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 3: floor will be covered. Her bed will be covered. And
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my God. And I'll, and like, she'd
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 3: be like, oh, the Uber's here. And I'm like, you're
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 3: not going to. Yeah, no, I got to keep my
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 3: room like bed made. Me too.
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 2: Clothes off the floor. Yeah.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 2: I like, I just like to come home to like, oh,
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 2: I can like relax.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 3: I don't want to come home and be like, oh,
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 3: I have to put my clothes away now after going
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 3: out and being tired.
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 3: My boyfriend's a bit messier than me, so I'll go
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 3: to his house and then I'll just start.
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, we'll just like put this over here. Yeah.
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 2: Make this organized. It's just, I don't know. Everyone has
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 2: different preferences.
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 3: You don't have to make them feel bad, but if
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 3: they're causing you an inconvenience and kind of bossing you around,
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 3: then yeah, I'm going to call you out.
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of the story.