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Burnout, Boundaries & Boujee Balance: Finding Joy Again in Business and Life · The Boujee Multipreneur

• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Bougie Multipreneur.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Hillary Hushour Jones.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a multi-business owner, chiropractor, wife, mom, and your favorite bougie bestie in business.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about burnout today.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know that feeling like you're doing everything right, but you still feel exhausted, detached, or maybe resentful.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: You're not broken.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: You're just burnt out.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: This is the season of life where we're building businesses, we're raising kids, managing a household.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: It can be beautiful, but it could be brutally draining.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: So today I want to share some real life ways to bring joy back into your life, right?
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Burnout doesn't just happen overnight.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: It kind of sneaks up on us.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: We might be feeling like irritable or numb.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: We might be dreading going to the work or doing the work that we used to love so much.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: We're snapping at our spouse or kids, or we're just physically exhausted, even though we've slept, right?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: I've been there before.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm literally going through this.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you're thinking, how can you be, you know, talking about this?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: You get burnt out.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: I do.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I sometimes it takes one to know one.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I've been there and I've done that, and I'm sure it'll happen to me again.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: But it's okay for us to talk about it and to know some tricks, and just for me to remind you and myself of some tricks, right?
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Just uh keep it out there again.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, as women, I feel like we're expected to be like a CEO, a mom, a wife, a friend, and then also look good while doing this all, right?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then we might start to lose ourselves in this process or not have time for us or really know what do we want.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm in my mid-40s now, and is this burnout or is it perimenopause?
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's both.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's a little bit, you know, life is just up and down, and it can be funny and it can be infuriating and frustrating all in one day, right?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a roller coaster of a day.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, we do feel pressure as women to do it all.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm speaking, you know, to women as a woman, and for any men listening, I'm sure that you also feel this way.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: So don't feel like I'm discounting how you feel and the pressure that you feel too.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: But I can't speak for you, but I'm certain that, you know, you could also speak and feel this way to the pressure that we have to do it all.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, as women, I feel pressured to run several businesses, you know, get the kids on the bus, make food, do clothes, laundry, cleaning, groceries, um, making healthy food, healthy snacks, you know, meal prepping, getting being home for them to get off the bus, taking them to this or that, right?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but then also make sure you exercise an hour a day, Hillary.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: And make sure that you you've got your full makeup on and your hair done and your nails done and da-da-da-da-da-da, right?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's just, it's a never-ending process.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: But let's talk about maybe some things to avoid or recover from burnout when we've got that feeling.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, let's look at the noise going on.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Let's look at our schedule.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: What are we doing in our schedule that's out of like an obligation, but not joy?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what brings us joy, right?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: When you look at your schedule, if you're not saying like, yes, I love that, I'm excited for that, then let's just call that a no.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: You don't enjoy it.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: So let's say you're scheduling and you put space in your week and days with nothing to do there.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's just day for you and time for you just to breathe or do whatever you want.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a huge fan of scheduling things because that's how I get so much done, honestly, is I'm very organized with my schedule and I will make room for certain things.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: So if you aren't very good at scheduling and you feel very chaotic, maybe start there where you're looking and you're auditing your schedule.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like maybe you don't even have a schedule and you need to start creating one and you need to carve time for you and say, no, from 7 a.m.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: to 8 a.m., that's my time, and I'm gonna do X, Y, Z.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: But when you're looking at this, think about your why.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why are you doing this?
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Is it for your business, your career?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to be busy?
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to be less busy?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know, who are you doing this for?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yourself, your family, you're making all this money and doing this, like the why behind it all.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Once you've established that, um, look at your schedule and see, do you need to ask for help?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know about you, but I do not like asking for help because I feel like we're supposed to do it all.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, or maybe the women that I was around and that raised me did it all.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I never heard them complaining about everything.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: So um, you know, we don't have to though.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: We can outsource things now.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's uh, you know, well, this year is 2025.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: We out we can outsource things, ladies.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Let's not do things that we don't love.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Again, if it's not like a heck yes, I love this, then it's a no, we don't love it.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it drains us.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not weakness in us to outsource something.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's smart, it's wisdom that we've learned to outsource and ask for help.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: So things such as like hiring a cleaning service to come or even like the grocery delivery.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: I used to think, oh, I don't want to spend the extra whatever it is for delivery fee for groceries, right?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: But your time is money and your time is valuable, and money is valuable, but you are worth more than probably the extra five to ten dollars to have the groceries delivered.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, for instance, cleaning is a non-negotiable for me.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: I just do not like it.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not even really good at it, to be honest.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was trained to clean by my mother who owned a cleaning company, and I feel like I just hate it.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: I just don't want to do it.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so that was one of my things that I outsourced right away.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: But even now, things such as grocery shopping, I hate, meal prepping, I hate, cleaning all the fruits and vegetables, I hate, chopping them up, I hate, I hate making food anymore.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it might be also because my kids are at a stage where no one ever agrees in this household on what to eat.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: So fine, I have someone else doing all that stuff for me.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Another thing I don't love is doing laundry and hanging up laundry.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: I don't mind throwing it in there.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: I just don't really like putting it away, I guess.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it annoys me, and then I'll leave it sitting out.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be even more annoyed, right?
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it gets me more burnout to come home and see all this clothes sitting around.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: So it's outsourced.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: I don't do my laundry now.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: So other things that we might need to do to avoid um burnout and recover is even like reconnecting with your partner if you're married or with someone.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes marriage will take like the back seat.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're in survival mode, you are just go, go, go, go.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: So just a reminder to us to try to reconnect with our partner.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't require like a huge long vacation, it could just be like little daily micro mint moments, if you will.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's just like could be a weekly check-in where we're not on our phones and scrolling, um, the kids aren't around.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: We just sit and talk.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe you have to schedule that, or maybe you can just politely ask to do it.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, can we chat later today?
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, maybe you need to like even revisit like shared goals.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are we working towards this year?
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: And what are we thinking in the next five years?
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because um, I don't know about you guys, but sometimes my own goals in life might be different than my husband's, and vice versa.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and it is a good idea for us to treat even sometimes the marriage like a business, and you have goals and aspirations and things like that, and make sure you guys are connecting on the same level with that.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but even cute things like flirting again and um in a cute text or a compliment to smiles, something just to keep things like happy again.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think that you will feel better and they will feel better.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And um, it's okay if you are the one that always has to initiate that.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, sometimes I'll be like irritated, like, I'm always the one that does this or that, right?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: But what does it really matter, ladies?
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, let's just get through these lives and let's just um put the effort and um treat people like we want to be treated, right?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, set the good example even for our kids, like show them what a happy marriage looks like.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and don't expect the other person to fix us, right?
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like I wouldn't expect my husband to try to fix my burnout, um, and or have my kids try to help fix it for me, right?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's not their job.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's our job to do this and to be smart enough to see it, see the warning signs and quickly redirect the path, right?
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, here's a great quote I found about this was the most attractive thing you can bring to your marriage is your own peace, right?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like we don't need to fix anyone else.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: We're all adults.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: We just need to fix ourselves and um maintain our own peace.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then let's talk about the kids, right?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because we're burnout, we've got all this stuff, and the kids, right?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I maybe you feel this way too.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: I try to be such like the perfect mom, and then I get frustrated because I'm not and I'm not there all the time.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a stay-at-home mom.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: I don't do this and that.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes they don't need a perfect mom, they just need a present one, right?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so maybe me not being on my phone, texting or returning emails while we're eating, right?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I'll see my kids on their devices and I think to myself, wait a minute.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: But honestly, this is what I also do.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I really need to personally set things aside and try to just talk and be present and ask them about things and you know, tell them, um, my kids are cute.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: They'll ask me, well, how was your day?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like a reflex now.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: I ask them, they ask me.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I do try to share some information with them because someday they might be a business owner too.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: And just what I dealt with, and I'm not like, it was great.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I might say things like, someone quit today, or this or that, or I read a really difficult patient today, or one of my patients passed away and I'm very upset about, you know, like it's okay to like, depending on the kids' age, right?
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Talk to them a little bit about stuff like that, because I think that it will be great for them in the long run.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like have some tech-free time maybe for everyone.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, even do something fun with them, like, you know, like the yes day where they get to do everything.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: My kids always ask for that.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, not like a whole day, but I'll do part of a day.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: We'll do a couple hours.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but you know, like I said, teaching them about um business and life and that everything's always um just rainbows and sunshine, right?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this is these are things that they need to know about the real world, and um telling them what, yes, I'm done working today, but I've got several emails to do later.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm happy to play a game with you now or do XYZ, right?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but letting them know, like I'm still I still have some work to do at the end of the day, and I'll just work in my little home office maybe when they go to bed.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but we don't have to do everything perfect and balance everything every day.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we just need to show up intentionally, right?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Make the intention with our family.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then one of my favorite things is taking care of yourself, right?
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Where you are taking care of yourself like you would your friend or your kid or your husband, um, and you're giving them grace and you're giving yourself grace.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: But if you were your best friend talking to you, um, you would have all these things that you would want for her, this or that, but also think about yourself as your best friend too.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, maybe you could start your day with something that actually fills you up and you're not just jumping out of bed, running late for everything, but you have a quiet coffee time or quite quiet journaling, you go for a walk or you do your prayers in the morning.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's something that is good for you in your mind.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: And you can set boundaries, right?
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: We can we can do that these this day and age.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Set boundaries, you are allowed to protect your peace in your space too.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think another thing, taking care of ourselves to prevent the burnout or during this is to move every day.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: We can't just sit in front of our computers and work, work, work for 14 hours.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it's just getting up, quick walk, stretching, dancing in the kitchen with the kids, and we need to eat real food, right?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: We need to hydrate and drink lots of water, stop just pretending that four hours of sleep is normal for us.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: We need more, we need better water, we need better food, we need better sleep, right?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: What can we do for that?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, maybe think every week do one thing just for you, not for the business, not for your kids.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Do one thing for you this week.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Is it the massage?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Is it going to therapy to actually talk to someone?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Is it walking alone without your phone?
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what is it that you could do for you?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's not self-indulgent.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's more like self-preservation, if you will.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope that this little podcast sparks some things for you.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: I know it sparks things and reminds me all the time too, but we should try to simplify some things, protect our time, reconnect with our people, where the be partner, kids, yourself, you know, could be your parents.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but remember that you can't pour from an empty glass of rose.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: So you built this life for a reason.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: You want freedom, you want joy, but we have to live it too.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: So go live this life.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Still be this bougie maltepreneur like me, still make your money, but stay more balanced, right?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Make an effort to stay balanced and stay bougie.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.