Latest / Silver FM 100.6 / Beat performance anxiety with these quick tips

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Beat performance anxiety with these quick tips · Silver FM 100.6

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  Speaker 1: This is Ira Glass. On This American Life, we tell
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  Speaker 1: stories about when things change. Like for this guy, David,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: whose entire life took a sharp, unexpected, and very unpleasant turn.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: And it did take me a while to realize it's
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: basically because the monkey pressed the button.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Because the monkey pressed the button. Surprising stories every week,
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  Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts.
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  Speaker 3: I ran track in high school, and I found that
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  Speaker 3: I would always do the best Yeah. Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: I'm not surprised to hear that. One of the things
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  Speaker 4: that I teach is to have a wide variety of goals,
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  Speaker 4: like a gold, silver, bronze goal, because your gold goal
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  Speaker 4: is typically like the outcome goal that you really want,
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  Speaker 4: but an outcome is something you can't control. And so
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  Speaker 4: you decrease your anxiety, increase your confidence when you set
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  Speaker 4: a range of goals.
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  Speaker 3: What are some other types of goals that you might have?
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  Speaker 4: Well, let's say, for example, your daughter is running the mile, okay?
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  Speaker 4: So her gold goal might be to win the race.
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  Speaker 4: But her bronze goal would be something that she's still
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  Speaker 4: happy with. And that might be to finish really strong
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  Speaker 4: in the last lap. And then the middle goal is
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  Speaker 4: the silver goal that's somewhere in between. Maybe she wants
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  Speaker 4: to run a personal best.
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  Speaker 3: You're listening to Life Kit. I'm Mariel Segarra. And that
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  Speaker 3: was Sindra Kampoff, author of The Confidence Habit. Sindra has
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  Speaker 3: a Ph.D. in performance psychology, and she does mental training
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  Speaker 3: with professional athletes and corporate executives who need to perform
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  Speaker 3: at a high level. Two of the things they focus
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  Speaker 3: on are confidence and performance anxiety.
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  Speaker 4: There's cognitive anxiety, anxiety in your head. And this typically
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  Speaker 4: sounds like automatic negative thoughts, like what if I screw up?
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  Speaker 3: What if I don't have what it takes?
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  Speaker 4: Where the second type of anxiety is called somatic anxiety,
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  Speaker 4: and this is anxiety in your body. And so it's
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  Speaker 4: important to know where your anxiety is coming from or
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  Speaker 4: how it appears. So you use tools and strategies to
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  Speaker 4: be able to combat that performance anxiety.
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  Speaker 5: I wonder.
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  Speaker 3: When does performance anxiety show up for people? Because you
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  Speaker 3: don't just have to be an Olympian or giving a
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  Speaker 3: talk in front of a bajillion people. That's true.
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  Speaker 4: For the average person, it's any time where you're doing
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  Speaker 4: something you really care about. And that might be like
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  Speaker 4: speaking your mind, sharing your opinion. That could be applying
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  Speaker 4: for a new job. So it's any time you're really
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  Speaker 4: outside your comfort zone when you're really pushing yourself. But
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  Speaker 4: we know that's actually how you keep growing and learning
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  Speaker 4: is to push yourself past your comfort zone. And that's
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  Speaker 4: why confidence is so important. I think of confidence as
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  Speaker 4: a feeling that actually comes and goes. It's also a
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  Speaker 4: decision you get to make. You get to decide in
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  Speaker 4: the moment, are you going to be confident? And many
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  Speaker 4: times the action of confidence comes before the feeling.
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  Speaker 3: So we can overcome performance anxiety. Yes, absolutely. On this
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  Speaker 3: episode of Life Kit, Sindra shares tools you can use
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  Speaker 3: to manage your anxiety and build your confidence before, during,
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  Speaker 3: and after a performance or a high stakes task, whether
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  Speaker 3: that's a presentation at work, a job interview, a race,
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  Speaker 3: or something else.
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  Speaker 6: Austin Tice is an American journalist who disappeared over a
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  Speaker 6: decade ago while reporting in Syria. And for years, we've
• 3:42
  Speaker 6: been searching for him.
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  Speaker 7: This looks like a secret passage.
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  Speaker 3: I'm just pushing.
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  Speaker 6: The door so you can get in.
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  Speaker 8: Go, go, go.
• 3:48
  Speaker 6: Listen to Where Is Austin Tice from NPR's Embedded and
• 3:52
  Speaker 6: BBC Radio 4. on the NPR app, or wherever you
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  Speaker 6: get your podcasts.
• 4:00
  Speaker 7: Hey, it's me, Peter Sagal, host of Wait, Wait, Don't
• 4:02
  Speaker 7: Tell Me. It's leaf peeping season, so why not peep
• 4:05
  Speaker 7: our weekly news quiz while you're at it? We've got comedians, celebrities,
• 4:08
  Speaker 7: and games to help laugh about the week's news, and
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  Speaker 7: you can listen while you're spicing your pumpkins, whatever people do.
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  Speaker 7: Listen every week to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me on
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  Speaker 7: the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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  Speaker 3: Cinder, let's start with the days, hours, and minutes before
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  Speaker 3: a performance. What can we do when we're just feeling
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  Speaker 3: way too anxious and it's clouding our minds?
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  Speaker 4: One of my favorite tools is called the truth meter.
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  Speaker 4: And many times when we're getting ready to perform, our
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  Speaker 4: anxiety is a little bit higher than maybe we want.
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  Speaker 4: And so the truth meter is just three quick questions
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  Speaker 4: you can ask yourself to get back to the present
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  Speaker 4: moment and choose something that's more empowering. And so, Mariel,
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  Speaker 4: what's a thought that you have, an automatic negative thought
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  Speaker 4: that you have that sometimes leads to anxiety for you?
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  Speaker 3: Oh, if it's before some sort of big talk, it
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  Speaker 3: might be like, you better do this well. Okay. You
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  Speaker 3: better do this well or else, you know?
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  Speaker 4: You better do this well or else they'll never have
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  Speaker 4: you back or your career is going to be over.
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  Speaker 8: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Something like that.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Okay.
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  Speaker 4: So the first question in the truth meter is, Because
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  Speaker 4: it helps you poke holes in the thought. Is that
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  Speaker 4: thought true?
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  Speaker 3: I mean, to a certain extent.
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  Speaker 5: Okay.
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  Speaker 3: If I don't do it well at all, then yeah,
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  Speaker 3: they probably won't have me back. It's true. It probably
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  Speaker 3: won't end my career, you know.
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  Speaker 6: Okay.
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  Speaker 4: So question two, is that thought serving you? Like, is
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  Speaker 4: that thought helping you be the best version of yourself
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  Speaker 4: and show up when the pressure is on and be
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  Speaker 4: your most authentic self?
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  Speaker 3: No.
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  Speaker 8: No.
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  Speaker 4: Because it's leading to more pressure. And then maybe you
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  Speaker 4: aren't able to think as creatively as you'd like. So
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  Speaker 4: the third question is, what would be a more empowering
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  Speaker 4: thought you could choose right in the moment when that.
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  Speaker 3: Thought pops in? Maybe it's like, you know this stuff. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: I love that.
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  Speaker 4: And your self-talk directly connects to your confidence and your
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  Speaker 4: ability to be flexible and adaptable.
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  Speaker 3: Takeaway one. In the days and hours before a task,
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  Speaker 3: when negative thoughts are racing through your mind, try Sindra's
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  Speaker 3: Truth Meter. This method is similar to other frameworks from
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  Speaker 3: acceptance and commitment therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy, and also
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  Speaker 3: to a method by Byron Katie called The Work. Take
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  Speaker 3: a self-critical statement and ask, is this true? Is this
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  Speaker 3: serving me? And what would be a more empowering statement?
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  Speaker 3: Then when you're at the equivalent of your starting line,
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  Speaker 3: waiting for the gun to go off and you feel
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  Speaker 3: nauseous or you're sweating through your shirt.
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  Speaker 4: I usually tell everyone to not be thinking about their
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  Speaker 4: outcome goal. And instead, use your breath. Your breath is
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  Speaker 4: the most powerful way to get back to the present
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  Speaker 4: moment that gets you back to the center and gets
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  Speaker 4: you back to the moment where that's where you play
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  Speaker 4: your best and perform your best.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, so we talked about the before. Now there's the during,
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  Speaker 3: like the talk or the race or the event, whatever
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  Speaker 3: it is, has started and you freeze. What are some
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  Speaker 3: tools you can use in this moment?
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  Speaker 4: One of the most important things you could do is
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  Speaker 4: to move on that fast. And I'm actually going to
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  Speaker 4: snap and say that fast. And so I have a
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  Speaker 4: tool called the Learn, Burn, Return. And it's all about
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  Speaker 4: how to quickly move on from a mistake or disappointment
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  Speaker 4: or setback. And you can use it in the moment.
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  Speaker 4: Let's say you're in the middle of a race and
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  Speaker 4: that first mile didn't go great. You can ask yourself,
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  Speaker 4: what did you learn? And remember that you want to
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  Speaker 4: just use the prompt next time I will. And so
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  Speaker 4: take the lesson. But most people, they get stuck on
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  Speaker 4: that lesson and they learn, they learn, they learn, and
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  Speaker 4: they don't quickly move on and burn. So learn as
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  Speaker 4: quickly as you can. Then you got to burn. The
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  Speaker 4: burn is with an action or phrase or both. And
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  Speaker 4: so you might literally pretend to flush a toilet or
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  Speaker 4: you might say that fast, but choose the same phrase
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  Speaker 4: or action every time because that strengthens a new neural
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  Speaker 4: pathway and you're less likely to overthink. And then the
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  Speaker 4: return means you build yourself back up. You remind yourself,
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  Speaker 4: you've got this. You know, you're doing the best that
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  Speaker 4: you can.
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  Speaker 3: Now, is there something that you can do in the
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  Speaker 3: middle of, let's say, a presentation at work? How actively
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  Speaker 3: can you participate in this learn, burn, return when you're
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  Speaker 3: also in the middle of presenting?
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  Speaker 4: So if you just have a split second, do the burn,
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  Speaker 4: just let it go. But then when you have a
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  Speaker 4: moment to take a step back and reflect, then you
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  Speaker 4: can learn, burn, return.
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  Speaker 3: Takeaway two. When you're in the midst of the task
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  Speaker 3: and you fumble or you freeze, consider learn, burn, return.
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  Speaker 3: If you have time to pause, that is. If you don't,
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  Speaker 3: then just burn and return. Move on from your fumble
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  Speaker 3: as quickly as possible. Then when you have time later,
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  Speaker 3: reflect on what you might do better next time. After
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  Speaker 3: the break, more tools to help us perform in high
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  Speaker 3: pressure situations.
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  Speaker 5: How do products end up on big box shelves? Well,
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: We at Planet Money pitch the Planet Money board game.
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  Speaker 5: I'm trying not to think how much of a big
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  Speaker 5: deal it is and how much work has gone into it.
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  Speaker 8: It's really big.
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  Speaker 5: Is it helpful if I remind you how big it is?
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  Speaker 5: It's sort of the whole thing. We go inside the
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  Speaker 5: minds of the people who decide what goes on store shelves.
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  Speaker 5: Listen to Planet Money on the NPR app or wherever
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  Speaker 5: you get your podcasts.
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  Speaker 2: This fall, there are a lot of movies and TV
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  Speaker 2: shows on tap for you to see. And we're as
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  Speaker 2: excited for all of it to arrive as you are.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: On Pop Culture Happy Hour, we've got a guide to
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: what's worth keeping on your radar. Listen via the NPR
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  Speaker 2: app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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  Speaker 4: A power pause is a way to kind of get
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  Speaker 4: back to the present moment and includes two things. It
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  Speaker 4: includes a power breath and a power phrase. And what
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  Speaker 4: this allows you to do is just take a moment
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  Speaker 4: and you can breathe and then tell yourself something powerful
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  Speaker 4: about yourself. You know, you've put all this work in.
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  Speaker 4: You have the evidence that you can be successful. You
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  Speaker 4: have everything inside you that it takes.
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  Speaker 3: And is this something that we can do in the
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  Speaker 3: middle of a performance? It could be.
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  Speaker 4: So for example, one year I was running the Omaha
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  Speaker 4: Marathon and I had trained really hard for this race,
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  Speaker 4: but to be honest, about a week before the race,
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  Speaker 4: I had performance anxiety. I'm like, I don't know if
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  Speaker 4: I really want to run this. Do I want to
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  Speaker 4: keep training? I decided to stay committed to my goal,
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  Speaker 4: and I wrote myself a race plan. And one of
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  Speaker 4: the race plan components was to talk to myself powerfully
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  Speaker 4: every time that I wanted to give up or I
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  Speaker 4: was struggling. And I wrote four power phrases. And so
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  Speaker 4: I define a power phrase as a statement that starts
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  Speaker 4: with I will or I can or I am. And
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  Speaker 4: I ended up writing them on my arm in marker.
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  Speaker 4: And it said, you know, I'm confident, I'm ready, I'm fit,
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  Speaker 4: I'm happy. And about mile 22, you know, when it
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  Speaker 4: gets really hard and you've got to dive deep, The
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  Speaker 4: second place woman got right on my tail. And then
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  Speaker 4: I had all these anxiety-provoking thoughts like, I should just quit.
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  Speaker 3: This is dumb.
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  Speaker 4: Why am I doing this? Who do you think you are, Cinder?
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  Speaker 4: You think you could win a marathon? You know, like
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  Speaker 4: the doubt spiral started getting really, really deep. And I
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  Speaker 4: had a plan. And we know that pre-planned self-talk can
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  Speaker 4: help you in your performance. So I just started repeating
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  Speaker 4: those things to myself in my head. I had, you know,
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  Speaker 4: trained for thousands of miles to run this race. Then
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  Speaker 4: I started thinking about how I was happy and I
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  Speaker 4: loved running. And then I started reminding myself that I
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  Speaker 4: should be confident. And all of a sudden, my pace
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  Speaker 4: picked up. And I ended up winning the race, which
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  Speaker 4: was pretty cool. But what I was most proud of
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  Speaker 4: is just like how I finished those last four miles.
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  Speaker 4: And my last four miles were the fastest of any
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  Speaker 4: part of the marathon ever. And the woman who was
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  Speaker 4: right near me at mile 22, I ended up beating
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  Speaker 4: her by three minutes because I talked to myself so powerfully.
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  Speaker 3: She didn't have those power phrases.
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  Speaker 4: She didn't have those power phrases or a race plan
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  Speaker 4: like that.
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  Speaker 3: How are power phrases different than just like, you know,
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  Speaker 3: thinking positively?
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  Speaker 4: I would say power phrases are more intentional statements that
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  Speaker 4: you've pre-planned and that you've been really thoughtful about how
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  Speaker 4: do you want to show up? You can say those
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  Speaker 4: to yourself every morning. It can be in the mirror
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  Speaker 4: if you'd like or just quietly in your mind, whatever
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  Speaker 4: fits you.
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  Speaker 3: Takeaway three, try a power phrase. These can start with
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  Speaker 3: I will or I can or I am. And it
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  Speaker 3: helps to have them in your pocket ahead of time.
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  Speaker 3: So when you're in the moment, you can remind yourself.
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  Speaker 3: For instance, I can handle discomfort or I am resilient.
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  Speaker 3: I am strong. I am ready for this. Another tool
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  Speaker 3: Sindra told me about is called PCR.
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  Speaker 4: And this has helped a lot of my clients who
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  Speaker 4: can feel really angry during a performance or frustrated. And
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  Speaker 4: the three steps are just pause, take a moment, take
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  Speaker 4: a breath, consider how do you want to show up
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  Speaker 4: right now? Is this who you want to be and
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  Speaker 4: how you want to show up? And then R stands
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  Speaker 4: for respond. Most of the time, our brain goes to
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  Speaker 4: like the reaction instead of response. That's our brain's default
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  Speaker 4: is to react, not respond. Whereas we respond, we choose
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  Speaker 4: how we want to show up. And this can be
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  Speaker 4: great during a performance. But let's say also if a
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  Speaker 4: colleague says something that's really frustrating, pause, consider, respond to
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  Speaker 4: show up in the way that we want to show up.
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  Speaker 3: Once we're done with the task, whatever it is, What
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  Speaker 3: are some practices to reflect on how we did and
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  Speaker 3: to build our confidence?
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  Speaker 4: A couple of things I would encourage is to take
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  Speaker 4: a step back and look for the wins. We get
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  Speaker 4: so caught up in how far we have to go
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  Speaker 4: that we don't take a step back and say, okay,
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  Speaker 4: what have I accomplished? So one thing that you could
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  Speaker 4: do is you could write down three small things that
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: went well. If you're really hooked on and stuck on
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: something that didn't go great, write that out. What did
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  Speaker 4: you learn? How can you let it go? And how
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: can you return? And what that tool allows you to
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  Speaker 4: do is to be compassionate with yourself, to soften that
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  Speaker 4: inner voice, and being kind to yourself leads to more motivation,
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  Speaker 4: higher performance, and more confidence.
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  Speaker 3: Takeaway four, don't jump right into criticizing your performance. Look
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  Speaker 3: for the wins, three small things that went well. You
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  Speaker 3: can see the rest is a learning opportunity, but don't
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: get stuck there beating yourself up. Because remember, we're often
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: our own worst critics. You tell a story in the
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: book about a talk you gave that you felt like
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: you bombed. And then people told you after what a
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: great job you did and how much they got out
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: of it. It occurs to me that we're not always
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  Speaker 3: the best judge of our own performance.
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  Speaker 4: Yes, I did a TED Talk and wanted to completely
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  Speaker 4: crush it, as you could imagine. And by my own standards,
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  Speaker 4: it didn't go exactly the way I wanted. And for
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: a year and a half, I didn't share the TED
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  Speaker 4: Talk with anyone. And you might be thinking, what? Somebody
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: who studies confidence beat herself up around this. But this
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: was a really huge goal for me. I wanted the
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: TED Talk to go viral, which was honestly the biggest
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: mistake I made was I was so focused on the
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: outcome and what I wanted that I wasn't connected with
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  Speaker 4: my heart like I typically am when I speak. But
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: then some of my speaker friends, when I was telling
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: them about this experience, they watched the TED Talk without
• 15:23
  Speaker 4: even realizing that I had struggled with it. and how
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: it didn't meet my standards. And my friend, John was like, wow, Sindra,
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  Speaker 4: you've grown so much since I heard you last speak.
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  Speaker 3: Like that was incredible.
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  Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah, why am I being so
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  Speaker 4: hard on myself?
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  Speaker 3: You know?
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  Speaker 4: And so our words really do matter. And so I
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  Speaker 4: just encourage people to just keep remembering what's most important
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: is what you think about yourself. And that's why you
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  Speaker 4: got to keep leveling up that self-talk, keep leveling up
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  Speaker 4: those power phrases.
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  Speaker 3: And that identity. Sindra, thank you so much for this.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you. That was a blast. All right, time for
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  Speaker 3: a recap. Takeaway one, when negative thoughts are racing through
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: your mind, try the truth meter. Take a self-critical statement
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: and ask, is this true? Is this serving me? And
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: what would be a more empowering statement? Then when you're
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: at the equivalent of your starting line, don't think about
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: your outcome goals. Use your breath to bring yourself back
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: to the moment. Takeaway two, when you fumble or freeze,
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: consider learn, burn, return. If you have time to pause,
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: if not, then just burn and return, move on from
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: your fumble as quickly as possible and learn later. Takeaway three,
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: try a power phrase. These can start with, I will,
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: or I can, or I am, and it helps to
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: have them in your pocket ahead of time. There's also PCR, pause, consider, respond.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: And takeaway four, don't jump right into criticizing your performance.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: Look for the wins, three small things that went well.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: See the rest is a chance to learn. But don't
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: get stuck there because, you know, you probably did a
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: lot better than you think. And even if not, it's
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: not the end of the world. The sun will rise
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: again tomorrow. OK, that's our show. Before we go, do
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: you ever find yourself saying to a friend, you know,
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: I heard on Life Kit. First of all, thank you
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: for talking us up. And second, what about telling another
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: friend about us? Go ahead. Send them an episode. And
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: thank you. This episode of Life Kit was produced by
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: Lennon Sherburn. It was edited by Sylvie Douglas. Our digital
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: editor is Malika Garib, and our visuals editor is CJ Ricalon.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: Megan Cain is our senior supervising editor, and Lauren Gonzalez
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: is our executive producer. Our production team also includes Andy Tagle,
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: Claire Marie Schneider, and Margaret Serino. Fact-checking by Andrea Lopez Cruzado.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: Engineering support comes from Sina Lefredo. I'm Mariel Segarra. Thanks
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: for listening.
• 17:55
  Speaker 8: On the next through line from NPR.
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: Let's listen to Josh Reddick's new walk-up song.
• 17:59
  Speaker 8: Whether you love it or you hate it, walk-up music
• 18:02
  Speaker 8: has become a huge part of Major League Baseball.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: The need to secure the attention of the fans is relentless.
• 18:10
  Speaker 8: I thought, am I hearing things?
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: I mean, I realize everybody's singing along.
• 18:14
  Speaker 8: Listen to NPR's through line in the NPR app or
• 18:17
  Speaker 8: wherever you get your podcasts.
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: Opposition to data centers cuts across party lines, which is
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: rare in Wisconsin politics. But who has the power to
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: decide whether a data center is built? We'll dig into
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: the politics of data centers and who has power in
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: Wisconsin on the Swing State of the Union podcast from WUWM,
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: a part of the NPR network. Listen on the NPR
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: app or wherever you get your podcasts.