Latest / All In with Allie / Answering Your Q's: Love Life vs. Biz Correlation, Big Dreams but Small Audience, Business Versus Babies, and more!

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Answering Your Q's: Love Life vs. Biz Correlation, Big Dreams but Small Audience, Business Versus Babies, and more! · All In with Allie

• 0:00
  Hello, Hello. In this episode of All In with Alie, I am
• 0:04
  answering a few of your questions that were submitted and they are really good,
• 0:09
  Like I'm actually really excited to dive into these. Sometimes questions that I get
• 0:14
  can be a little h I feel like they could be better, but these
• 0:17
  are on point. So in this episode, we're going to be discussing a
• 0:21
  few different things. Number one, the possible connection between how well your business
• 0:27
  does versus how well your most important relationships are doing. Are they connected?
• 0:33
  Does one affect the other. We're also going to be discussing if it's possible
• 0:37
  to make good money and be quote successful with a very small audience. We're
• 0:43
  going to be talking about things that I personally see other business owners doing online
• 0:49
  that I think might be hurting their business. We'll be discussing the battle or
• 0:57
  what seems sometimes like a battle between motherhood and entrepreneurship and is there a balance,
• 1:03
  If so, how do we achieve that? And more so, stay
• 1:07
  tuned. Welcome to All In with Ali podcast, the podcast for entrepreneurs and
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  online business owners who are ready to create the life and business of their dreams.
• 1:23
  I am so happy you are here. I hope you are having a
• 1:27
  fabulous week so far. Whenever you are choosing to tune into this me,
• 1:34
  let me tell you something about me. Lately, I have been hella social
• 1:42
  and it's very strange. I'm somebody who I wouldn't say I pride myself being
• 1:49
  introverted because a lot of times it's kind of a pain in the ass.
• 1:55
  But I'm pretty introverted. I don't tend to go out a lot socially and
• 2:01
  do a lot of social things, especially back to back, but lately you
• 2:07
  would not believe that because I'm out there, I'm doing the things. I
• 2:15
  think. It's probably a summer thing, right, It's got to be a
• 2:16
  summer thing, because in the winter I don't behave this way. That's not
• 2:21
  just it's not my style. But I'm gonna drop some names because I've been
• 2:29
  hanging out with some pretty cool people lately who are creating some pretty incredible things.
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  So I just want to shout them out real quick. But last Friday,
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  also to just give you a picture of how social I've been, not
• 2:44
  that you care, Nobody cares, but I'm impressed with myself. Okay,
• 2:50
  so last Friday I got to go to a birthday celebration for Julie Solomon,
• 2:54
  the host of the Influencer podcast Shout Out Julie the g Influencer, coach and
• 3:02
  mentor. Yesterday, I well, not yesterday, the day before yesterday,
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  I traveled down to Athens, Georgia to be on Brittany Schogrin's podcast Life with
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  the Loverly. So she's at Loverly Gray. I know many of you follow
• 3:21
  her, many of you love her, as do I. She is absolutely
• 3:25
  incredible, so talented, so good at what she does. Also og like
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  literal influencer and that conversation. I am so excited for you to hear this
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  talk because she asked great questions and it was all around business and creating wealth
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  as a woman online and you know, life and all the things that we
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  navigate when we have those level of goals and ambitions. So I'm very excited
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  again that's going to be on her podcast, Life with Loverly, So please,
• 4:04
  if you're not subscribed, go subscribe because I'm not sure when that will
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  be out, but it will be out soon. I will link Britney's episode
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  that she did with me. This was like, gosh, a year ago,
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  maybe a little over a year ago. She came on this podcast back
• 4:21
  when it was six figure Influencer, and she gave her whole background on how
• 4:28
  she got started in her business, and her story is incredible and even since
• 4:31
  then, she's I mean, she's just a rocket ship growing. So anyway,
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  I'll link that episode because we're going to be having her back here soon
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  for a part two and like what she's been up to and how she's navigating
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  this season that she's in. So I came back home from that last night
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  late last night. I'm back with my family. I'm very happy about that.
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  And right after I record this, I'm headed to lunch with Kelly Brock,
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  which again I know many of you know and love Kelly Brock and Kate
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  Howard, my podcast person. She does she and Philip do all the things
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  for the podcast producer editor. I don't even know what you would call it,
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  but me, her, Kate, and Kelly Brock are getting lunch together,
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  and I mean, I'm just very proud of the circle of women that
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  I've been Vibe been with lately. I'm very connected to a ton of incredible,
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  incredible, talented women. That's like a goal in my life is just
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  to stay connected to people that are way cooler and doing bigger things than me.
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  But it's just like lately, I've gotten very lucky with the chicks in
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  my life, and I'm very thankful for that, and I think, you
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  know, that's something that is worth mentioning. I set in an tension not
• 6:00
  long ago to make more girlfriends in this industry, whether it be podcasting or
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  coaching or just online business in general. I have incredible girlfriends that I've known
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  for years, literally since elementary school to throughout college, you know, like
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  my best best girlfriends. But you also need, and I'm saying that intentionally,
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  I do think you also need a good circle of people who get it,
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  who get what it is that you do in your day to day life
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  and what you're struggling with. What you know, the decisions that you're navigating,
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  the goals that you're setting. Not everybody gets that so even when they
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  really try, you know. So anyway, I'm I'm proud of myself.
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  I've got some cool girlies in my world. So anyway, super social.
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  But now it's time to get down to business because this podcast was due days
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  ago and I've been traveling, so let's get to it. So, like
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  I said, these questions were submitted a while ago. I asked her these
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  questions a while ago, and I just hadn't. Actually I forgot that I
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  did, so I was like, oh wait, I asked for questions not
• 7:20
  long ago, and I went and I looked and they were fantastic. So
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  if you submitted one or you know, however many of these questions, thank
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  you so much. I would say if I could answer any type of question,
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  these are on points, So take note. These These are really good
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  and I know that they're going to be super helpful for you too. So
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  let's get started, shall we. First question that we're going to dive into
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  is this one. I have a super small audience and big business goals.
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  How do I grow a bigger audience to support my business. It's really interesting
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  because I just had a conversation with a potential client about this. She reached
• 8:13
  out to me super small audience, like you know in the hundreds, and
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  she said, hey, I want to work with you, but I don't
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  know if it's too soon. And her reasoning for if it's too soon is
• 8:28
  because she had a really small audience. And I think this connection that we've
• 8:33
  made with audience size and business potential was from years ago when it was the
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  thing, right when it was the thing to have ten thousand followers and to
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  get the swipe up and to get the links, and you know, like
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  your following was currency in a way, I would say nowadays, it's just
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  not the same. Not to say that a large aligned audience can serve you
• 9:03
  very well, and yes, more of the right people following you can and
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  often does equal more people buying from you. But I do think we need
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  to undo this conditioning that we've all been through in the inception in the early
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  days of Instagram, once we started using Instagram for business. It's just not
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  the same. And what I would tell you right now is number one,
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  the amount of people that I know that have relatively small audiences. So whenever
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  I say a small audience, I mean in hundreds to the lower thousands.
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  Okay, maybe like under five thousand, let's say that's a smaller audience.
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  The amount of business owners that I know with that level of audience that are
• 9:56
  genuinely successful in their business. And when I say successful, I'm thinking of
• 10:03
  metrics like they're satisfied with what they're doing, they enjoy what they're doing,
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  and they're profitable they're making good money. Do we all have more goals to
• 10:16
  do more and create more and earn more and you know, hit bigger goals.
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  Of course, that's part of being a driven entrepreneur. That's not going
• 10:24
  to go anywhere. But again, you know, they have success, and
• 10:30
  they've created a success with a smaller audience. And again I know so many
• 10:35
  examples of this one I will say, and her audience has grown lately,
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  like in the past year, she's gone viral and she's created quite the audience
• 10:48
  for herself now. But one person that I think of to give you an
• 10:52
  example is exo Gingy Stephanie blinking on her last name right now, but she
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  anyway, her her handle is XO Gingy Stephanie and huson she's fantastic. Go
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  follow her immediately. Her handle is it's exo gingy. But right now she
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  has thirty four point six thousand followers and she has a multi eight figure business.
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  Like what she does in her business is actually insane. And I remember,
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  I mean it was only a year ago I want to say she had
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  don't quote me on this, but I think like around three or four,
• 11:33
  three or five thousand followers, I mean, nothing crazy and She's been doing
• 11:37
  this level of revenue for years now, so she when I think of somebody
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  who is proof of this, I always think of her first, And there's
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  many other examples, so anyway, the proof is out there. But also
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  I will say, as somebody with you I have, I think it's thirty
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  six thousand, you know something like that followers, I say this all the
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  time. I wish there was a way to go and delete like half of
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  my followers, if not more, because let me tell you something, thirty
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  four thirty six However, many followers I have are not seeing my stuff and
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  are certainly not engaging with my stuff. So I have a decent sized audience,
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  but the engagement isn't quite there, the views aren't quite there. And
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  I do very well for myself as well. So all that to say,
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  we want to start looking for examples like this, Like, if you have
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  a smaller audience for yourself, go find examples of people who are doing the
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  damn thing, Because what's more important than the number of followers is the engagement
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  and the connection and the like know and trust within your circle, and then
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  you can be creative and you can be strategic with the type of offers that
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  you're putting out there. So if you have two hundred followers and let's say
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  a third of them are seeing your stuff, you're not going to try and
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  get rich doing a one to many program that's low ticket, because you're going
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  to have sixty people in a low ticket program, and that's if every single
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  person that's watching you buys, that's not going to maybe okay, But what
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  I would do if I were you is focus on creating strategic mid to higher
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  ticket offers and at the same time be doing things to grow your audience with
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  the right people and slowly. We do not want to grow fast. And
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  I've talked about this before Instagram. The way that they dictate the amount of
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  people see your stuff and if your content's performing well is the ratio between your
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  engagement and your followers. So if you have a certain level of engagement and
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  then you blow up with followers because you bought them or you went viral,
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  which I mean, we don't want to be scared of viral. If it
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  happens to me, it's meant to be. But anyway, you let's say
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  you're just like Gung ho on growing as fast as you can because you think
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  that that's your key to success. So you have a certain level of engagement
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  and then all of a sudden you blast off to all these followers. Now,
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  this ratio of followers to engagement is a lot wider, which tells Instagram
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  that your content's fallen off, so they're going to show it to less people,
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  so it ends up hurting you in the long run. So our goal,
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  yes, is to grow, but with the right people and a nice
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  steady pace, because then your engagement can kind of catch up and it doesn't
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  hurt you. So all of that to say, how do you grow a
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  bigger audience your content? Really focusing on putting out good work that vibes with
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  the type of people that you're wanting to attract. Go do research, Go
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  see what's other what's working for other people, and then do it in your
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  own way. Collaborations, get on some podcasts, do some joint lives,
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  you know, whatever you want to do. Who can you work with and
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  partner with for anything that has an audience of people that you would like to
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  adopt into your own. Start thinking in that level and you're going to start
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  seeing that level of growth, like that slow, good level of growth with
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  the right people. But you certainly don't need it to be successful. You
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  just get to have it if you want it. Okay, next question.
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  You have been such an expander for me. Thank you. What is the
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  next level for you that you are actively working toward? This is a good
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  question. So m It's all freedom for me, That's what it is.
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  I've got two little boys, i have an incredible husband. I've got a
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  business that I am obsessed with doing work that I am connected to. I've
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  got a podcast that I love, and I want to be able to spend
• 16:26
  time and do all of those things when I want to as I want to.
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  Right. I want to be able to take a day off when I
• 16:34
  want to. I want to be able to jump on a plane and go
• 16:37
  somewhere when we want to. I want to be able to record my podcast
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  when I want to and get the level of guests on right. So a
• 16:48
  big, big piece is freedom. How I'm doing that is you know,
• 16:53
  financially, we have our goals that we're working toward, and you know that's
• 16:57
  why I do what I do in my big business right now, and why
• 17:00
  I have the certain offers in place in my business right now. I'm willing
• 17:06
  to trade my time for money right now because it's supporting us in the future.
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  So we're doing that, you know, we just got Oh. I
• 17:19
  haven't shared this on the podcast yet, but Cruz is officially a homeschooler.
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  I talked earlier in the year that we were likely going to be doing that,
• 17:29
  and I had Rachel Van Clive on the podcast and she we did a
• 17:34
  whole episode on homeschooling. So if you just scroll you'll you'll find that not
• 17:40
  too long ago. When was that was that? It was April or May
• 17:45
  that we did that. So like it's all, you know, anything geared
• 17:52
  toward time freedom, financial freedom, that's what we're working toward. My big
• 17:57
  priority as well as this, I am thinking and considering a few different options
• 18:04
  to do something in person. I've been talking about this for a while.
• 18:07
  I'm kind of tired of talking about it, but it's not quite the right
• 18:12
  time just yet. So I'm still I'm feeling into it and waiting for the
• 18:18
  right opportunity to strike and present itself. But I'm definitely going to be creating
• 18:22
  some sort of in person situation with the podcast because that's kind of like that
• 18:30
  next next level of business. It's going to be way more as far as
• 18:33
  I mean, I think like things can always change, obviously, but from
• 18:37
  my limited perspective, right now my business, a big portion of my business
• 18:44
  will be through the podcast, so I won't be coaching as much. In
• 18:48
  the future, I would imagine it will be again a lot more. Podcast
• 18:56
  adds that kind of thing, so, you know, getting the ball rolling
• 19:00
  on some of those things. Now that Rhett is almost a year, he's
• 19:06
  eleven months right now, which is freaking insane. He's walking. I don't
• 19:11
  even understand what life and time is anymore. It's just bizarre. But now
• 19:18
  that he's getting a little bit older, we're going to be traveling more.
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  So those are the things that we're looking forward to. Is like, I
• 19:26
  just want to be an example for you of what's possible of what business in
• 19:33
  today's day and age can look like, Like how good it can get,
• 19:38
  how funny you can have, how hands on you can be in your business
• 19:41
  and in your family. And you know, whether that looks like traveling or
• 19:48
  whatever, like, it's going to look different for all of us. So
• 19:52
  that is what I'm actively working toward over here personally. Next question, I
• 19:57
  am also in a season of Young Kids. I'm constantly battling wanting to do
• 20:03
  all of the things with them well and grow my business. I find myself
• 20:07
  feeling frustrated because I feel like I'm constantly falling short in one or both areas.
• 20:14
  How do you balance? Wow, I just had this conversation yesterday and
• 20:22
  my mastermind. But this is it makes sense though, because if you have
• 20:27
  kids, this is going and you have a business or just a career that
• 20:33
  you are passionate about, this is going to be something that comes up for
• 20:37
  you. And this is something that I certainly have not nailed myself. I
• 20:42
  am just like the question said in a Season of Young Kids. So I'm
• 20:48
  still learning and figuring it out. But one thing that I have figured out
• 20:55
  that has been invaluable for me is realizing, Okay, we all have different
• 21:00
  priorities in our lives. So my big priorities in my life are my family,
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  my business, my friends and extended family, my faith. These are
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  the big things in my life. So these are the things that I'm going
• 21:17
  to be consistently pouring into every day pretty much. So obviously these things are
• 21:27
  going to overlap. These things can and will compete with one another sometimes.
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  And what I used to do in the past is it was almost as if
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  it's like a it's a way of thinking about it. But in my mind,
• 21:45
  it was like these different worlds, these different priorities battled each other.
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  They were against one another, right, So like my family was pitted up
• 21:56
  against my business, and my business was pitted up again, my relationship with
• 22:00
  my friends, my relationship with friends was put it up against my relationship with
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  my husband. You know, it was like, if I can't be here,
• 22:10
  then that means that I'm dropping the ball in the other areas. And
• 22:12
  again, these things are competing with one another. When you think of it
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  in that way, when you have your mind framed in that way, then
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  that is what you're going to experience when you are working your business. You're
• 22:26
  going to likely feel guilty about not being with your babies. When you're with
• 22:30
  your babies and being present with your babies, You're likely going to feel guilty
• 22:33
  about not doing certain things that moment in your business. When you're doing the
• 22:37
  things in your business, you're gonna be feeling guilty about dropping the ball with
• 22:41
  friends or whatever. So again, it's like you have this vibe and this
• 22:47
  imagery in your mind and perspective that these things are against one another. What
• 22:52
  I invite you to do is, instead of these things being against each other,
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  think of these things complimenting each other. Because one thing that I realized
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  was when I am not working in the way that I want to work,
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  it would affect how I am as a mom. I'd be crankier as a
• 23:15
  mom when I'm not being the type of mom that I want to be to
• 23:19
  my babies and i feel like I'm too distracted or I'm not spending enough time
• 23:23
  with them. Then I'm not showing up in the way that I want to
• 23:26
  show up in my business. When my business isn't going well, I'm not
• 23:30
  in an excited mood to go out and live life with my friends or you
• 23:33
  know, date my husband. All of these things, they're not against each
• 23:37
  other. They compliment each other. They all are necessary. So just like,
• 23:44
  here's a good way to think about it. It's like a recipe for
• 23:48
  something delicious. So in your life, you have a very specific recipe that
• 23:55
  require certain ingredients, and if one of the ingredients is missing, the recipe
• 24:00
  doesn't quite work, and you are the thing like you just you're off a
• 24:06
  little bit. So these things aren't against each other. They all work together,
• 24:11
  they're all in harmony with each other. So what we want to do
• 24:15
  is instead of looking for quote balance, because who the hell knows what that
• 24:22
  is, it's more of like, how can I keep these things in harmony
• 24:27
  with each other? And I've noticed that just that intention and just that shift
• 24:34
  of thinking about each of these things, like, Okay, I'm going to
• 24:38
  put in six hours of work today and my babies are going to be with
• 24:44
  their nanny and they're going to be having a great time living their best life.
• 24:48
  I'm not going to feel guilty. I'm not going to feel like I
• 24:51
  need to check in. I'm not going to feel like I'm right here,
• 24:53
  but like I'm going to pour into my business, and then when that's done,
• 24:59
  I'm going to feel really good about shutting it down and going and being
• 25:02
  with my kids. And well, I'm with my kids. I know that
• 25:04
  I just put in that work and you know, we're good there. And
• 25:07
  then this weekend, because I feel a little social right now because it's summer
• 25:11
  social season, I guess I'm gonna go hang out with my girlfriends or you
• 25:15
  know, me and Chris are gonna get sushi Deny and have a little in
• 25:18
  home date night. So it's like they all support each other. That's what
• 25:26
  we want to see. So I just invite you to do that, to
• 25:30
  do that little mental shift with these things. And you know this, this
• 25:37
  probably is a good opportunity to to ask yourself, if you are well supported,
• 25:41
  are you trying to handle and do all the things all at once.
• 25:45
  So there was a season in my business where we could not afford nanny's and
• 25:51
  I was the person, you know, when it was just cruise. But
• 25:53
  this is before Rhett and Chris was commuting into work. I was the caretaker
• 26:00
  of cruise. So there wasn't this like, Okay, I could hand off
• 26:06
  cruise to the nanny. There was a little bit of sacrifice there. So
• 26:08
  I did what I could do during his naps, and I shifted my schedule
• 26:14
  to where I could take calls in the evening when Chris got home, and
• 26:18
  I did a little bit of work on the weekends. And it was a
• 26:21
  grind for sure. It was a season, but it got us to where
• 26:23
  we are today. But in that season, even though I couldn't afford childcare
• 26:30
  support at the time, I did bring on support. Like the first thing
• 26:36
  that I outsourced was cleaning the house because that bought me several hours a week
• 26:42
  where I could either work, take calls, or rest. So I invite
• 26:48
  you to make that shift. With these things, They're not battling against each
• 26:52
  other, They're complimenting each other. Now, how can you show up in
• 26:56
  each area and arrange each area to where each air is being tended to in
• 27:02
  a way that feels good for you and you are supported and being supported in
• 27:06
  that process. Next question, Does Chris have a brother? LOLJK, but
• 27:11
  not really. I genuinely get this question so much. No, Chris has
• 27:18
  two lovely sisters. He does not have a brother, and it really is
• 27:23
  a crying shame because he's He's a good one. I actually talked about how
• 27:33
  I manifested Chris into my life because I genuinely did. I'm not just saying
• 27:37
  like he just showed up out of nowhere and I wanted that to happen,
• 27:41
  Like I did something very specific months before he flowed into my life. And
• 27:49
  I think I have talked about it before, but it's been a long time,
• 27:55
  a really really long time. But recently I was on Tara Marino's podcast.
• 28:00
  She's the podcast host of The Beautiful Soul Led Life and Tara's the founder
• 28:07
  of Elegant Vem, and we got on the topic of Chris and I and
• 28:12
  I shared that whole story, like the whole situation of what my dating life
• 28:18
  was before Chris and what I did before I met Chris. Again very specific.
• 28:26
  It was around journaling and then how we flowed him to my life and
• 28:30
  how I kept him there. I share this whole story. So without getting
• 28:34
  into it here, I'm going to invite you to go subscribe to Tara's podcast,
• 28:38
  The Beautiful Soul Led Life. She is incredible, her content, her
• 28:44
  heart, her soul. You're gonna love it. And I don't know when
• 28:48
  our episode goes live, but if you're subscribed, you won't miss it,
• 28:52
  and then you'll get to hear that story. But no, Chris does not
• 28:55
  have a brother. I'm sorry. Okay, two questions. Next one,
• 29:02
  This may be too personal, so don't answer if you don't want. But
• 29:07
  have you noticed a connection with how well your business does and your connection with
• 29:12
  your partner? Backstory, Me and my fiance are going through a rough patch
• 29:18
  right now, and even though I am doing all of the same things in
• 29:22
  my business, things seem to be slowing down there too. I'm trying not
• 29:27
  to panic but help. So do I notice a connection to how well my
• 29:36
  business does? And like, is there a correlation between how me and Chris
• 29:41
  are doing versus how my business is performing? I want to say, of
• 29:48
  course there is, because we are the leaders of our brand. We are,
• 29:56
  you know, and with online business, if you're doing it in a
• 30:02
  way similar to where I am, we are you know. We are the
• 30:06
  brand, We're the marketers, we are the salespeople, we are the creator
• 30:10
  of the thing. Like a lot of us are doing all of these things,
• 30:12
  and people are following us, and people are buying from us and working
• 30:19
  with us because of who we are. So I don't know about you,
• 30:26
  but I am different. When me and Chris are not doing well, I
• 30:30
  am no doubt affected on an energetic level, even if superficially I'm acting like
• 30:36
  everything's fine. He's my number one guy, you know, he's my person,
• 30:41
  He's he's like the most important thing in my life. So yeah,
• 30:45
  if we're going through a rough patch, my mind's going to be there no
• 30:52
  matter how hard I try and turn that off. Now, every relationship is
• 30:56
  different, so I would say they're probably is something there. I think it's
• 31:03
  also fair to ask yourself and go deeper into like why if there was a
• 31:10
  reason for the rough patch, what's the deal? Is it something that happened
• 31:15
  externally that now is affecting the relationship? Is it stress? Is it something
• 31:22
  going on with you? Are you guys just not really vibing and you're kind
• 31:27
  of I don't know, in a season where you're not in flow with each
• 31:32
  other, I would look into that and maybe see if there's something there,
• 31:37
  because that will also likely tell you what's going on in your business. So
• 31:45
  there's been seasons where, like I feel like, anytime Chris and I are
• 31:52
  going through, you know, a season, usually it's because we haven't been
• 32:00
  connecting or being we haven't been as intentional with our time lately. Right We're
• 32:08
  not big, Like we're not the couple that has to do the weekly date
• 32:13
  night. We've got two small kids. I don't even know how that's possible,
• 32:15
  nor do we want to do weekly date nights. But we date at
• 32:19
  home, you know, we like make sure we have dinner together and you
• 32:22
  know, keep things like that. But we find you find the time to
• 32:24
  connect with your person. So I've noticed that, like a lot of times
• 32:29
  that we're in that season. It's because we've lost track of that because he's
• 32:32
  so caught up with work. I'm so caught up with work. There's other
• 32:37
  things going on, so our relationship and that time together sometimes can take a
• 32:45
  back seat. And I've noticed it's those times when we've lost that super intentional
• 32:50
  connection with each other that we're a little bit more cranky, we're a little
• 32:54
  more short with each other. It's just it's just, you know. So,
• 33:02
  anyway, where was I going with that? Oh? Where I was
• 33:06
  going with that was so like, Okay, if I was in your situation
• 33:09
  right now, and that was the reason why we were going through a rough
• 33:14
  patch because we haven't been dating, we haven't been spending the time together you
• 33:20
  know, whatever that looks like for you. And the reason why is because
• 33:23
  I've been so caught up with work. Okay, there's something there then,
• 33:28
  because if work isn't going well and I'm spending all my time and work,
• 33:31
  are we overdoing it? Are you telling yourself a story that you've got to
• 33:37
  put in X amount of hours You've got to do all of these things that's
• 33:40
  super lungless, or you know, are you on this race to some goal
• 33:46
  and you're telling yourself a lie that if you don't get there by a certain
• 33:51
  date or whatever, then you're going to fail. So that is what I
• 33:53
  would do. That's something that I've absolutely done the past. Is something that
• 33:57
  I still catch myself doing sometimes where it's like it's a little bit of a
• 34:01
  scarcity mindset of like, oh gosh, if I don't do all these things
• 34:06
  right this second and hit this goal by this date, then I've failed or
• 34:08
  I'm not enough or whatever, like the underlying beliefs there or what we want
• 34:14
  to look at. So I would look at that if I were you,
• 34:19
  what's the reason and how do we make our relationship healthy again? Because I
• 34:27
  don't know. I mean, for sure when me and Chris are good,
• 34:30
  I just show up way different. In my business, It's just like the
• 34:36
  way I think about it too, is he's my foundation. My family,
• 34:42
  my home life is my foundation that I can build upon. So if there's
• 34:46
  a crack in the foundation or the foundation is shaky and there's an earthquake happening,
• 34:53
  what's going to happen on top of that foundation that's going to be shaky
• 34:57
  too. This is very true in my world. So I would for sure
• 35:04
  see what we can do about giving the relationship some TLC if that makes sense
• 35:08
  for you, and look how quickly the ripple effect affects the other areas of
• 35:16
  your life. Okay, next question, who is your dream podcast guest?
• 35:25
  I had to think about this one because nobody instantly came to mind. I
• 35:34
  have a lot of dream guests. You know a lot of people that would
• 35:38
  be so honored to have on, and I will list them, but there
• 35:45
  was not one person that It's like, uh, when I get this person
• 35:49
  on the show, I'll die, you know. But Melanie, my mentor,
• 35:57
  she and I have talked many times about getting her on the show,
• 36:00
  and she will be coming on the show. That's on me. I've got
• 36:06
  a little bit of imposter syndrome going on. I'm very nervous about that conversation
• 36:10
  because I want to do it justice. I want it to be so good.
• 36:15
  So I've put it a little bit on a pedestal and I'm aware of
• 36:17
  this and I'm taking it down and she will be on soon, and that
• 36:22
  I mean that conversation is going to be nuts. So Melanie will be on.
• 36:25
  I would love to have Justin Anderson on. I don't know if you
• 36:30
  follow him, but he's freaking hilarious. I would love to have Christen Cavalari
• 36:36
  on. Those two are very connected, they're like besties. They're also both
• 36:39
  in the Nashville area, which is why I think of them. I would
• 36:44
  just love to talk to both of them about business and you know, things
• 36:49
  that we talk about here with them. Jackie Shimmel, host of Bitch Bible
• 36:52
  podcast. She's just nobody's funnier. In my mind, She's so funny,
• 37:00
  and I would love to talk to her about how she is able to do
• 37:06
  her so unapologetically and in the way that she does because nobody does it better.
• 37:10
  In my opinion, she genuinely gives zero fs and I love that for
• 37:16
  her. Uh Oprah would be pretty tight. Heather McMahon came to mind.
• 37:23
  She's so damn funny, So I could go on and on. I definitely
• 37:30
  have dream podcasts guests. There's not one, but there's I've got a lot.
• 37:37
  I'd be so honored. Last question and we'll call the day. What's
• 37:42
  one thing you see business owners do online that hurts their business. I've got
• 37:47
  a few things for you. Number one, over explaining, over apologizing.
• 37:57
  Here's what I mean when somebody writes a caption and they're giving a hot take
• 38:02
  and they're like, but if you think blah blah blah, or you know,
• 38:07
  I'm not saying blah blah blah, it's okay to make like, you
• 38:10
  know, one caveat or whatever like And by the way, who cares what
• 38:14
  I like? Do you? This is just my opinion? And I used
• 38:17
  to do this too, But there's like there's a fine line between saying like,
• 38:22
  you know, okay, here's a little bit of clarification on what I'm
• 38:25
  saying, and drowning out and watering down the message with over clarification over explaining.
• 38:35
  That's just showing that we're trying too hard to appease too many different people.
• 38:39
  We're afraid that we're going to piss some people off. And when you're
• 38:44
  saying something bold, opinionated, powerful, you're gonna piss some people off.
• 38:52
  So I think any kind of over explaining it's become a little bit of a
• 38:58
  pet peeve of mine. And I see women post a photo or post something
• 39:04
  on their stories and they're like, don't mind my manicure, I'm getting my
• 39:08
  nails done tomorrow, or messy mirror I know, or sorry, I haven't
• 39:15
  gotten ready today, or don't mind that pile of laundry in the back.
• 39:21
  You know, they're like pointing to the tiny little thing that they clearly think
• 39:27
  is quote wrong in the picture that they think we're gonna notice and we're going
• 39:30
  to judge them for. And it drives me freaking insane. Number one,
• 39:34
  because you're drawing our attention to it. You know, like if you don't
• 39:38
  want to succee it, like, chances are we're probably not even going to
• 39:42
  notice or even think about it. So this thing that you're clearly insecure about,
• 39:45
  you're drawing our attention to it. And then number two, it just
• 39:50
  feels insecure to me. And I see this because I used to do this
• 39:53
  myself, so I'm totally calling myself out. I've gotten a lot better over
• 39:57
  this, But now because I've done the work myself self with this, I
• 40:00
  see a lot of other people doing this a lot, and I just wish,
• 40:04
  as women, we'd stop. Just who cares? Who freaking cares?
• 40:09
  You don't owe a perfect anything to anybody. That's not a thing anyway.
• 40:15
  Second thing I see people doing that hurts their business is not being themselves.
• 40:22
  You can kind of tell. And again, all of these things, guys,
• 40:27
  I still get caught up in, which is why I can call these
• 40:31
  out because I've been there. But yeah, not being themselves. You can
• 40:37
  kind of feel when somebody is trying a little too hard or trying to be
• 40:44
  a little like somebody else because what they're doing is succeeding. I work with
• 40:49
  women sometimes who come into my world and they have incredible ideas and they like
• 40:57
  have a way of that they want to do something, but they're like,
• 41:00
  you know, they reference other people in the industry, well, so and
• 41:02
  so does it like this or whatever. So I feel like and it's what
• 41:07
  I want you to understand is there are so many ways to succeed as a
• 41:14
  coach, as a mentor, as an influencer, as an online business owner.
• 41:17
  And your fastest way to success is doing it your way, doing you
• 41:24
  in the most authentic way, and then doing your business and what that looks
• 41:30
  like. And I love, I love helping women get clear on what their
• 41:37
  way looks like, you know, like the type of offers that work for
• 41:42
  their schedule and the pricing that works with their goals, and the type of
• 41:49
  clients and the way that they share and the way that they teach and the
• 41:53
  branding, it all should be deeply personalized, and I just think we all
• 42:01
  could do that a little bit better because you'll just succeed faster. I think
• 42:07
  that's all by design. And then the last thing, not selling enough,
• 42:13
  from a place of insecurity, from a place of fear of selling too much.
• 42:16
  I see people they'll go into a launch, they'll sell a couple of
• 42:21
  days, not get results that they want, stop selling out of fear that
• 42:24
  they're annoying people, out of fear that they're being too salesy. Like that's
• 42:30
  not a thing anymore. And if anybody thinks that, then they just don't
• 42:34
  get it, and they weren't going to be in your world very long.
• 42:36
  Anyway. You're a business, you're meant to sell. Okay, go look
• 42:39
  at any store. They're never going to stop selling to you. So our
• 42:43
  businesses are the same. Not to say that you have to sell every single
• 42:47
  day by any means. There are some people who have incredibly successful businesses and
• 42:52
  they launch a couple of times a year and they don't sell in between.
• 42:58
  That's great, But if you don't got it like that, you need to
• 43:00
  be selling to stay in business. So any kind of fear around that we
• 43:04
  got to get rid of it because it's hurting us. So that's what I
• 43:07
  see. But anyway, that is all that I have for you all today.
• 43:12
  Good questions, right, I enjoyed those. I was happy to see
• 43:15
  those. If you want to submit your own question, you can always do
• 43:20
  this on Instagram at ALII Reeves. Just DM me, put podcast, topic,
• 43:24
  question whatever at the top and I'll screenshot it and we'll do another one
• 43:30
  of these when I have a few more wracked up. But I love you.
• 43:35
  I hope you have a fantastic rest of your day. I'm going to
• 43:38
  go get lunch. Have a good one. Bye.