Latest / The Ben Maller Show / The Fifth Hour: Star Chef Stamp & Maller Meatball

Transcript

The Fifth Hour: Star Chef Stamp & Maller Meatball · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Cutbooms.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the Clearinghouse
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in.
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  Speaker 3: The air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mallor
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: and Danny g Radio and a very happy Friday to you.
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: We have made it to the end of the road,
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: which is never really the end of the road, because
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: when you do the radio show during the week and
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: you've got the podcast on the weekends, it never ends.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: It never ever ends. But we are back at it
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: here on this Friday morning, celebrating National Merry Go Round Day.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: We It's National Merry Go Round Day, So listen.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: I used to love merry go rounds when I was
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: a kid. I rotate nuts.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: How dare you? I'm an adult. I haven't been on
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: one in a long time.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: I did love, though, I fell down another rabbit hole
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: when I see these dopey holidays that get my attention.
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: I'm like, hey, I want to know more about the
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: merry go round. So then I started doing some research
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: and you start typing some things in and some other
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: things come up, and you keep going and going and
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: going and going. The earliest known carousels five hundred a d.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: But it was really the Middle Ages, the beginning of
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: the modern I say modern, it's crazy to say that,
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: but the medieval period is when the merry go round
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: as we know it first popped up. And it was soldiers,
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: medieval soldiers who would compete in this game. It was
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: a version of the current carousel ride to train for
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: jousting tournaments. And they believe that's one of the reasons
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: most carousels have horses on them, as a homage.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: To me evol times and the jousting.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: And then the next big period of time was one
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: hundreds of years later. In the Industrial Revolution, the mass
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: production of heavy machinery used in merrygo rounds became possible
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: and so the carousels were more available. We couldn't really
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: do that before there were a little small things. And
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: then right around eighteen hundred, the first known carousel ride
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  Speaker 3: in America, and it was operated in Salem, Massachusetts, the
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: Salem Witch Trials famous there it was called the Wooden
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  Speaker 3: Horse Circus Ride and that was in actually seventeen ninety nine.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: And then later on in the eighteen hundreds, the mass
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: migration to America from Europe. Immigrants from Europe European countries
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  Speaker 3: began to put carousels everywhere.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: They loved carousels, probably it was big.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: In Europe, and so they came to America and they
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: were like, hey, this is what we got to check
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: it out and people were into it.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: So that's I think that's all I have. I think
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: that's that's all I have.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: The first carousel patented was by William Schneider from Davenport, Iowa,
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  Speaker 3: and that was considered the first modern modern caressel.
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  Speaker 1: That was in eighteen seventy one. So there you go.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: That's that's enough. We're good on that.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: So on this podcast, we've got a Melancholie Maler Marlborough
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: Man Malar meatball and if we have time, the phrase
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: of the week, but we begin with this and it's
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: Melancholy Maler. Last night, if you were listening, we did
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: a special homage, a eulogy to a legend who was
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: not someone that had wins and losses, not real wins
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: and losses. There was somebody that wrote who won and
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: who lost? But a cultural icon if you're of a
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: certain age. I was a hall comaniac because I talked
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: about last night, Halt Cogan seemed through the eyes of
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: a child like he was one of the cartoon characters
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: I would watch on Saturday morning when I was a
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: little kid, and all we had was Saturday Morning cartoons
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: because we lived in the dark ages, and I would
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: watch he Man or some of these other superheroes, Captain America,
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: you know, comic books. I'd look at those different things,
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: and then you saw, like haul kose won, this guy
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: looks like a real life superhero, Like this is legit,
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: these comics, that's real life. And I was like, this
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: must be based on real life. And Hulk Hogan. And
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: then every as I talked about in the monologue last night,
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: everything Hulk Hogan, I was in on some of my finest,
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: fondest memories through the eyes of a child. Okay, through
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: the eyes of a child, listen. I yeah, you don't know.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: At that time, when I was a kid, they had
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: not revealed that wrestling was fake we were so stupid,
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: were like, looks legit, you know, Andre the Giant taking
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: on hul Cogan and Macho Man, Randy Savage and all
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: these wild characters, right, wild characters.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: And so.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: Rest in peace, the hall Coger and I did see
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: some stuff, people trying to urinate all over the holster
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: and all that stuff. And listen, he was not perfect.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: No one's perfect. And hall Cogan, though it touched a
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: lot of lives and was one of the most famous
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: people in the United States.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Of America when I was a kid.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: He was I think of when I was a kid,
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: who were the most famous people? And hal Cogan is,
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: I don't do a list. I'm not doing a list
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: Terry in England. But I'm just telling you it's my
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: big board, haul Cogan, as I've talked about, on that
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: big board.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: So turning the page on that story time.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: Storytime on the fifth hour with me, Ben Mahler and
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: Danny g who is producing this podcast and will hopefully
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: joined me at some point this weekend, But we flashed
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: back to a recent journey to the face of the Sun.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: So last weekend, the malordmobile was loaded up. We went
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: to Rancho Mirage in the californ You desert, because why not.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: It's one hundred and fifteen degrees. Why would you not
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: go there. It's the kind of heat that makes you
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: question whether you're actually a human being or just a
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: soft boiled egg. So we went out there to enjoy
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: the nice heat and those beautiful luxury pools they have,
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: and they were nice, tepid bathwater, lukewarm, wonderful, had a
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: lazy river barely moving, just floating along there in the sun,
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: baking like you're in a rotisserie. And it was just
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: a nice weekend, a really more of a day than anything.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Because you gotta do this podcast, but just.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: A day to kind of unwine and unplugged for a
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: little bit and try not to die from the atmospheric pressure.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Mind you, it is not global warming. It's called summer.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: It happens every year. And yet there I was, there
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: I was, and there he was? And who is he?
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  Speaker 1: You ask, what are your pronoun who is he?
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: Well?
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  Speaker 3: That guy or go the guy guy fiery in the kitchen, now,
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: mind you, not the actual guy. Of course, I'm talking
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  Speaker 3: about a glossy eight by ten of him mid bite,
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: or maybe he was laughing. I don't know, sunglasses lowered,
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: the look, the smile like he had just heard the
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: punchline to a joke that involves some kind of bacon
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: and bourbon, and he.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Was dreaming of his camaro.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: And I had this epiphany while I was looking at
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  Speaker 3: this photo.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: You go to these places and it's like he was
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: just there.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: You know, you toss in some kind of weird sign
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: spatchelor or something like that, or you know there's a
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: menu item like kangaroo sauce, nacho bomb, and that's the
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: full guy theory experience. So this was a local burger
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: joint out in the Palm Springs area and my wife
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: found I don't know whether it's up to me.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: I eat it raising canes every time.
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: But she's like, hey, let's let's find a restaurant, what
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: kind of food as let's get burgers.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: So she goes on Yelp. She loves Yelp.
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  Speaker 3: I try to tell her, I said, listen, Yelp's fine,
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: but a lot of those reviews are bullshit, and but she's.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Like, oh, this is well reviewed, So she goes on there.
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  Speaker 3: She's flutzing around on Yelp, and this is not a
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  Speaker 3: food network pilgrimage. She didn't type in Food Network, diners,
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: dive ins and drives. She didn't type any of that in.
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: She just typed in burger places on Yelp, and this
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: place came up. And if she typed in diners, drive
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: ins and dives, I'd be like, okay, that she typed
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: it into Google Maps or something. This wasn't that right.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: It wasn't you know, eat prey love with extra aoli. Regardless,
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  Speaker 3: it didn't matter. So Guy was already there, and he's
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: always there, and that's the point.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: That's the point. I mean, I did not.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: Ask for Guy Fieri to be staring at me as
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: I walked into this restaurant. I didn't look for Guy Fiery,
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  Speaker 3: but somehow he always is there.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: He finds me. And it's the same old thing.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: You walk into a diner off some dusty highway in
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  Speaker 3: some place you're not normally.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: At, and bam, bam bam, there is God. And this
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: is not an exaggeration.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: The reason I'm bringing this up full disclosure, it's not
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: just because of a one off at some burger joint
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  Speaker 3: in Palm Springs. But this is the fifth or sixth
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  Speaker 3: time in my travels in recent years that I have
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: randomly sashade wandered into some restaurant I had never been
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: to before, only to be greeted by the mayor of
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: Flavortown right there. Now, One, you say, Okay, that's it,
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  Speaker 3: that's fine. Two maybe that's a coincidence, but keeps happening.
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  Speaker 3: It's like I'm getting getting photo bombed by a cartoon ghost.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: And he's not like stalking me, He's just there. And
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: it is like he's the culinary version of the Virgin
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: Mary appearing on toast. You see those stories every so often, right,
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: or Jesus or something like that. Only this, this is
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: with frosted tips and the wristbands and all that, which
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: raises the obvious question, what the hell is going on?
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: What the f is going on now? Guy Fieri. At
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: some point in the last decade, and maybe it's been
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: longer than that, I just feel like it's been the
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: last decade, he went from being a guy that was
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: goofed on a late night punchline to a full blown
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: spiritual symbol. Now not in a religious sense, I don't
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: upset you, and not in a religious sense, more so
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: in the sense that when you walk into a mom
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: and pop eatery and you see that framed Guy Fiery photo.
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: You're experiencing something to the point now where I'm starting
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: to wonder if these mom and pop restaurants it's part
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: of the starter kit where when you're starting the restaurant,
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: just to make it seem like you got street cred,
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: you buy a photo of Guy Fieri with some chef
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: and you just pretend like it's in the back of
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: your kitchen.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: But there it is.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: Right. If Guy Fieri's face and a restaurant, it is
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: like some kind of secular blessing, like a neon open
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: sign to let you know it's okay, this is a
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: safe space for your stomach. And it says this place
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: may not pass the health inspection, but.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: It is going to slap good. It is going to
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: be good.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: It's not really the fame anymore. It's a mythological thing.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: And so I've determined that Guy Fieri when it comes
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: to mom and pop restaurants is Buddha. He's Buddha with
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: Oakley's right, He's back in the day. I loved Anthony Bourdain.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: I loved his take on restaurants and the way that
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: he yapped and the voiceovers and all that. But it's
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: like Guy Fieri is now Anthony Bourdain and technicolor, and
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: he is. What happens when you take out that old
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: food pyramid and you put a hype man right now,
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: It like that's the hype man, and people talk about, hey,
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: you got to support local businesses, and I grew. I
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: believe that's important, right, that's important, and I tried to
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: do that. I try to avoid when I'm traveling, uh,
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: and I actually commit to that life as much as
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: I can, and I try to avoid the Applebee's and
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: the Cheesecake Factory and the Olive Garden and all those place.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: It's not that I don't enjoy the food there. I
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: used to eat a cheesecat factory all the time.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: And you know all.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: The places that have the big calorie counts on the
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: menu because they are big, corporately run restaurants. So once
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: you commit to going away from those places, you begin
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: to notice what I call the fiery effect.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: It just appears.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: And it's not just the photo on the wall in
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: these mom and pop joints. It's like the whole zeitgeist.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: Like the portions are always usually supersized, like the good
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: old days at McDonald's back in the day. They've got
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: some funky sauce that the foodies love. There's a weird cocktail.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: They threw a holapano in there. Nobody knows why.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: They just did it.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: And there's an eighty four percent chance that the server
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: will be wearing a shirt with some kind of flying
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: pig or a flame on it. And it always goes
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: back to the Buddha, right, the Buddha with Oakleys. The
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: man is omnipresent, so he's not necessarily following you. He
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: has become you, at least the culinary aspect. And I
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: used to think it was.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: A wack adoodle, right, wackadoodle, But he's omnipresent. Like, how
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: is Guy?
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: Everywhere I go again, and everywhere I'm obviously embellishing a bit.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: I had that moment that he is and this is
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: really the other thing here. When I kept seeing Guy
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: the breaking point, the tipping point was last weekend. But
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: Guy Fieri is like one of the final unifying mascots
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: we have in America now. When I was a kid
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: back in my day, and I grew up watching Haul Cogan,
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: but I also had in these things called magazines a
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: lot of advertisements with Joe Cammell and the Marble Man,
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: and they're gone, right, you don't see a lot of
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: the Marble Man. You don't see Joe Campbell. Now we
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: have Guy. It's like post all that. It's you know,
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: the thing that made him easy to mock back in
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: the day, the flames, the hokey, corny catchphrases, the diners
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: drenched in the devil's blood of ranch dressing. Now that
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: is what has become his signature and is universally loved.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: And you don't need to know who the national is to,
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: you know, enjoy the triple stacked French to stuffed with
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: blueberries and cheesecake and all this other. But Guy speaks
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: to to the fact that restaurants they feel like they
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: need that as a street credit.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: I said earlier, like.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: They need that a guys provide street because, like they
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: were legit. He's the rubber stamp, the you know, in
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: sports memorabilia, you got to get something authenticated. He's the
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: authenticator for a generation, you know. And then you know,
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: we talking about Michelin Star restaurants and all that, but
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: you know, I don't necessarily want to go to those places.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: But he will.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: You can absolutely trust some dude who used to work
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: at a restaurant.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: You know, he's a barely.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: Got out of school from northern California, Nor cal the
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: bleach blonde dude yelling this is money, this is money,
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: and uh, you know, the riding off into the sunset.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: So maybe it's not a coincidce. I don't think it's
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: a coincidence, Like maybe guy Fiery is just what ends
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: up happening when you're on the journey. And I'm not
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: talking about some fake social media sojourn. We're talking about
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: the real sweaty you know, melting pot road trip that
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: involves stopping somewhere.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: That you didn't really plan on.
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: And they might have an elk burger on the menu,
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: smothered and ghost pepper aolie.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: I don't even know what that is.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: And there he is, you know, he's not working as
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: the chef. Is he a celebrity?
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: Well not in this case.
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: He's just not even a real person at this point. Again,
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: he is smiling the kitchen Buddha. He's there.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: He's saying, welcome, you found it. The food is good here,
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: It's okay.
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: Yes, Now, one thing that was not on the menu
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: at this burger place was the Malar meatball. But we
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: turned the page because I would like to remind you
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: some of the highlights of the week.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: Here we mentioned the Hull cogan. That not a highlight.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Doing a eulogy. It's like the old Casey Kasem thing.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: I'm sick and tied coming out of an upbeat song,
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: and I got to do a dog death dedication. You
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: know all that, But watch out for the algorithm army.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: Another reminder this week now, if you listen to the
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: Overnight Show, and God bless you if you do, and
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: you probably do. Most people, very rarely do I get
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: an email. You know, I don't never hear your Overnight show,
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: but I hear that fifth hour podcast.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: I don't get a lot of that.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: So we do twenty hours of original audio content on
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: the show. Mallard monologues. Each hour starts with the Malar monologue. Now,
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: typically each one covers not one, not two, but three stories. Right,
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: that is roughly sixty topics covered on live radio six
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: hundred plus stations. That's the math, right, So all of
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: the week's work, the one that launched all of the
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: things I talked about, the one that launched the biggest uprising.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: You know what it was.
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: It was not the Malleur pluse. I will have the
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: Mallard pluza postgame though later this weekend. We like to
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: learn all the affiliates down line. The malod Palooza postgame
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: coming up down line. But take a guess what do
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: you think costs the biggest uprising?
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Ding?
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: Ding ding ning?
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: Yes, the spicy.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: Margherita Mallard monologue, the late night soliloquy on Hail to
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: the red Skins, Hail to Victry. Yes, the Redskins and
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: the Cleveland Indians nickname monologue did that, and suddenly I
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: had a bullseye on my chest. Public Anime number one,
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: I mentioned President Donald J. Trump supporting the return of
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: those old sporty nicknames that were canceled in the crazy
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: COVID hayze of the twenty twenty period and all that.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: So I ended up.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: With the pitchfork wokester p one charging I don't think
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: they're p ones, but they were. They were charging at
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: me like I had just pulled the fire alarm during
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: their nap time over at NPR headquarters. And why because
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: I dare say something they did not like? And More importantly,
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: I believe this to be true. The algorithm told them
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: not to like it, and now let's not kid ourselves, right,
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: every man, woman and child knows that I don't believe
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: this was like totally on the up and up, and
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: I didn't talk about it on the air too much
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: because I didn't want to give them the satisfaction that
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: what they were getting. Really a lot of the trolls
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: just want the reaction, So if I don't bring it up,
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: you know, fine. Sometimes I like to engage dumb people
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: like astro fans, Ehstros. But this was digital attempted, digital stoning, stoning.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: You could feel it happening in real time. A lot
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: of us was email also, so the second the mal
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: monologue hit the airwas I say, hit the airways. I'm
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: talking about the rebroadcast and repackaging on the different social
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: media is like.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: YouTube or whatever.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: The algorithm was then activated like some kind of weird
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: trapdoor beneath the gas bag headquarters, and boom, bam, bang,
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: out came the box. That's right, like Transformers, more than
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: meets the eye, or in this case, more than meets
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: the ear. So the I'm talking about the paid blue
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: check mark wannabes. Also that used to mean something if
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: he had a blue check mark.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: Not anymore. The the buzzword brigadiers.
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: Screaming, You're just a Malor Mallor meatball is all you are.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: That's why you're doing the overnight show. You know, all
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: the usual nonsense.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: If you were any good, you'd be on during today.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: Uh And but the Malor meatball one.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: One one dude. I don't even know where the guy
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: was from. I can assume, but I.
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: Think he is from Boston and might might or might
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: based on his email and I might have looked him up.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: May have gone to an Ivy League school in the
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: Boston area. Anyway, the guy was very upset with me.
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: You just to malor me, you know, the meatball while
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: you're on a night And I was like, Malor meatball,
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: that sounds delicious. We got to get a Mallard meatball
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: on the menu. We have the Ben Mallard chicken fingers
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: at the Landing in Liberty, Missouri. We have the Ben
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: Maller chicken sandwich at the Sportsbook Bar and Grill in Denver,
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: but not the Malar meatball. How about an oversized giant
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: meatball with an not spaghetti Feticini. How about that who
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: says no, malar meatball covered in marinera but surrounded by fetichini,
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: Alfredo with the Alfredo sauce chef's kiss, who says no,
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: he contacted me. Let's do it, malar meatball. I'm in
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: come on anyway. So back to the story. So I decided, okay, fine,
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: let's play ball. And again, this is a one on
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: one situation. So what was my response to this guy
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: who called me a malar meatball?
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: That's why you're on an overnights dude.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: I pointed out that what I do is an opinion
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: based show.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: And while it is true I'm on in.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: The middle of the night, the fact that you valued
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: my opinion so much you spent time to track down
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: how to contact me, I'm honored by because I have
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: no idea who you are, and I would have had
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: no contact with you if you hadn't reached out to me.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: And then I said, listen again, it's opinion based. I
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: gave my opinion. Then I asked, what exactly did I
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: say that was wrong? It's always a tough question. Their
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: response was pretty much radio silence. Crickets, you know nothing
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: real nothing tangible. Instead with this guy, this one guy
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: in particular, sent was a copy and paste. It seemed
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: like he had sent it to other people links from
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: like a New York Times opinion page article, and there
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: was something else.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: I go back to NPR.
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: It was like some kind of NPR thing about this,
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: And so listen, here's the truth.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: The Outgo Rhythm Warriors.
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: They don't really want to admit that they're locked in
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: in their dogma. Everything's political, right, mascots are political, and
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: this is more evidence of that. But the mere mention
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: of a story that was in the news cycle because
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: the President of the United States talked about it, and
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: we're a sports show and it tied in, the mere
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: mention of team nicknames sends certain people into full death
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: con one meltdown, right meltdown. It's no longer you know
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: context or your opinion. We can agree to disagree. It's
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: been it han't been less way in years. Right, it's
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: not new, but it's about.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Enforcing your worldview. And it doesn't matter.
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: They don't even know who I am, you know, but
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: yet they want to take shots and over even an
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: adopey overnight sports radio show. And if I'm someone they
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: agree with, and I had said the thing they like,
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: then I would have been nominated for a Nobel prize.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: Right. But if somebody like me says, hey, you know
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: they didn't. You know you said the wrong thing. You know,
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: I'm a maul or meatball, burn the radio tower down. Now.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: Look, I'm not here to be the advocate for the
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: Redskins of the Indies. I'm merely pointing out the information
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: I have that the fans in Cleveland, the fans in Washington,
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: the real customers of those teams want those nicknames back,
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: that the uprising was greatly embellished by the algorithms, the
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: bots and all that stuff, and most people don't give
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: a crap, and most people look at mascots as an honor,
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: not a shameful thing. But anyway, listen, I mean, I
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: get it. I'm here to talk sports occasionally. Part of
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: the job is you have to ruffle feathers. It goes
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: with the territory. But from time to time, when you
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: speak some truth right, you end up not passing the
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: NPR sniff test. Now, I'm always amazed, like, we have
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: a diverse audience. We have a lot of people from
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: different backgrounds, and the great thing. I love Jonathan and
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: Delaware sent me an email the other day and I
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: love Jonathan's been with the show a long time.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: I love the guy. He's great. Hope to meet him someday.
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: And Jonathan like he gets the show. He's like, listen,
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: he said, this is the thing I like about the show.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: Jonathan. I'm paraphrasing this, but he says, You've.
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: Always been the guy that it doesn't matter your background,
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: whether you're you know, gay, transgender, you're a pig, you're
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: a deviant, whatever, You're a criminal, you're a crackhead, you're
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: a meth head, whatever, Hello Jed who fled like all
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: that stuff, raging alcoholic.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: You're all welcome.
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: You're all welcome, right, And as Jonathan was pointing out,
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: I was like, you know, we just accept people for
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: who they are. But with one rule, we bust balls,
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: we bust chops. That's kind of how it works, right.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: We're sarcastic, we bust each other's weaknesses, whatever that might be.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: And so I'm not sitting here reading press releases from
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: activist groups or corporations pretending to care about things they
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: ignored for decades. I'm not That's not my jam man,
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: I'm not. I just try to get through the day.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: I worry about that, you know, old John woodenline, win
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: the day right, make every day your masterpiece, and that's
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: my goal.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: And then when I'm done with the show, I put
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: the show to bed and I move on. And then
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: people react and they get all worked up.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: And you know, if you're honest, like the outrage on
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: this is not again, it's not organic.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: It's like prepackage.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: It's like Marcel eating a Celeste pizza, a frozen pizza.
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: The people who claim to have been offended, we're not
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: even listening until the offendo meter lit up on their feed.
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: And again, I just to double down. They don't know
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: the show, they don't know who I am. They have
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: no idea who I am. They don't care. It's just
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: that's backstory, the Mama Luke's. They saw something, you know,
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: some kind of sign and they leapt into action, and
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: it's about, you know, I have moral superiority to you,
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: and I'm going to tell you you're wrong, and it's
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: performative outrage.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: And just listen. If you disagree, that's fine. I mean,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: who knows, you could be wrong.
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: I could be wrong, but spurry the lecture, right, and
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: I don't need the hyperlinks.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: You know, it's fine. I'm good. I don't need that.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: And you know, I kind of like the fact that
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: you called me a malar meatball. And hopefully that will
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: inspire some restaurant that I don't even know of that
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: I'll learn of to put the malar meatball oversized jumbo
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: sized malar meatball with fetichini on the side, and then
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: a big helping of garlic bread yum yum to my
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: tomb tumb who says no?
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Who says no? All right, time now for the phrase
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: of the week.
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: That's right, I know it's exciting, the phrase of the week.
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: So here's the phrase of the week. So the phrase
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: is flash in the pan. Now it originates from believe
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: it or not, not cooking, not sports, from military. So
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: many of these phrases start in the military. A lot
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: of veterans, a lot of active duty military help. My
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: son is in the Marines right now, is in Camp Pendleton.
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: But this is another one of those things that starts
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: out in the military. Flash in the pan. It originated
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: in early firearms. Now specifically they say the flint lock musket.
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: So we're going back to the musket in the seventeenth
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: and eighteenth centuries, the flintlock musket had a small pan,
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: according to my research, and it held this thing called gunpowder,
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: and when the trigger was pulled on the flint lock musket,
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: when you pulled it, the flint would struck. It struck
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: to produce a spark. There was a little spark there.
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: It ignited the powder in the pan. And apparently sometimes
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: the powder in the pan would flash and the main
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: charge in the barrel would not ignite, resulting in yes,
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: wait for it, a flash in the pan, but no
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: real musket shot. And over time, as all great metaphors,
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: over time a flash in the pan came to mean
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: something that initially showed great promise like shooting a musket
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: or excitement, but failed to deliver, failed to live up
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: to the expectation. So brief, intense moment of success, but
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: fizzled out quickly. And that is what we have used
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: in sports. Someone starts out their career and they're like, oh, man,
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: that players like Paul Skins.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: I give Paul Skins of the Pirates great electric Is
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: he going to keep doing that? Who knows?
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: He won't If he doesn't, it'll be a flash in
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: the pan. All right, we'll get out on that. I
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: will have the malord Palooza post game. We're gonna save
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: that for the Saturday podcast. And I've got some other
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: things planned as well, but we'll get to that. Danny
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: g should join me on that.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: We'll have new pods all weekend long.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: If you want to send something into the mail bag,
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: do it right now, send it in care of the
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: Real Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com. The Real
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: Fifth Hour at gmail dot com, and your comments can
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: and we'll be.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: Used on future editions of the show.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: So anyway, I have a great Friday, and hopefully nobody
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: famous that was a hero in my youth will die today.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: I'm good with the Haulkster. Well I'm not good with
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: him dying, but you get the point. All right.
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: Well, we'll talk to you next time later, Skater, who
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: asta pasta got a murder?
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: I gotta go.