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Breaking the Silence: Tackling Domestic Violence · D-constructing Topics

• 0:00
  What's going on, folks? What's going on? And welcome to the Deconstructing Topic Podcast.
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  My name is David, and I'm your host of this wonderful, legendary podcast,
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  the Deconstructing Topic Podcast, where we talk about a little bit of it all.
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  But today we have a little, you know, important episode.
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  Once again, I like to touch things on things that have affected me and affect our communities.
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  And it's one of those things where I have mentioned in my podcast In a previous
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  podcast Is that domestic violence To me, it's a thing where My family,
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  my mother Is a survival of domestic violence,
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  And today we got a You know, an episode And for those listening to My episode
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  out there Today's episode Once again, if you need help,
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  There's a National Domestic Violence Hotline Feel free to give a call At 1-800-799-7233
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  There's help out there There's many people out there that are willing to help.
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  If you know somebody, whatever the case might be, I know it's like for some
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  reason, for some reason, it's a touchy subject.
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  Because a lot of people tend to kind of use the word domestic,
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  as in domestic violence, as something that happens in your house.
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  As they always say, whatever happens in your house, take care of it.
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  Anything else, we'll talk about it. But no, people forget that there's a word
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  violence in that little two-word thing.
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  And today we're going to talk about an interesting topic, a little viral thing
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  that's going on in Puerto Rico.
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  And once again, you know, a lot of the things that I experience when it comes
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  to domestic violence is through the struggles or the situations that happen in my family.
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  And, you know, in this case, my mother and shout out to my mother.
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  She kind of kind of reached out to me and say, hey, David, you know what I mean?
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  I got something to tell you.
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  You heard this story, you know, my mother being born in Puerto Rico,
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  living here in the United States.
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  Yeah, she got one. She got one of those old school accent.
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  Yo, papi. Well, she don't call me papi, but I got something for you. But you know what?
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  No laughing matter, because this is a definitely interesting topic.
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  And I just want to touch on a couple of things on domestic violence. I
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  also want to give a shout out to another story
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  And I'm also going to put the links in the description It's a YouTuber or a
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  content creator Let's just call someone who's telling stories His YouTube channel's
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  Evil Intentions There's a story about an individual by the name of Wanda Rodriguez
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  Back in 1990 She was a victim of domestic violence that led,
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  sadly, to her demise And then involved with her little kid a daughter who grew
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  up knowing that, hey, my father did this, but he disappeared.
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  And it was an open case where nobody really wanted to talk about this happening in the Bronx.
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  Well, I take it back. People just kind of like, ah, you know, it happened. That's it.
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  Maybe the individual just disappeared. But to find out that a father was living
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  in the Dominican Republic and so on, and then he passed away years ago.
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  So some type of closure. But it's a definitely interesting story Because I want
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  to touch on that Because sometimes a lot of times When it comes to domestic
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  violence We kind of tend to think.
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  That sometimes it's just two people Men and a woman For this case,
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  maybe We already know that there are men Who are victims of domestic violence
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  But domestic violence Could also mean, you know, parent,
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  kids Whatever it is that's domestically That's just getting out of hand So it's
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  one of those things that for the most part, cases about domestic violence involved women.
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  So in Puerto Rico, and my mother shared this story, there's an individual by Miguel Gonzalez.
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  He's the father of a victim of domestic violence.
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  And it seems that her daughter was a victim and Sally brutally attacked by her boyfriend.
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  And, you know, it's one of those situations where in Puerto Rico and Sally,
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  hey, listen, I'm just going to throw out there dirty laundry and I'm also going
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  to touch topics that happens in our community,
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  the black Latino community, because we are ranking at one and two when it comes
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  to a victim of domestic violence,
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  especially amongst our women.
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  But places like Puerto Rico, for some reason, for some reason, is an issue.
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  A big issue that we've been dealing forever being that my mother was of a survival
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  of domestic violence in Puerto Rico.
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  And it's that, sadly, one of the things that happened in the case of Miguel
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  Gonzales, who is the father of the victim, decided to take it upon himself.
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  And let's just say the end of life of the abuser.
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  Now, there's a little thing going on, my understanding, you know,
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  and I'm one to just, how can I say it? Because it happened over the weekend.
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  So it's one of those things where I'm just listening to learn more because sometimes
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  I don't like to jump into things without really giving the information.
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  But it is, in general, a topic and something that has happened in our community.
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  It has happened throughout the world So it's not just in our community But I
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  like to point our community Because again, when it comes to black Latino communities
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  In the United States That's like what, number one and two?
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  So sometimes, what happens in cases like this.
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  And it happens in cases like this where somebody, and in this case,
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  the father, decides to take it upon themselves today. Listen,
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  if justice or whatever the system have not taken care of a woman, you know what?
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  Let me take care of things on my own.
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  And you have, you know, two sides of the fence here. There are people that say,
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  hey, listen, he should have not been arrested. He did what a father would do
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  in a situation like that.
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  There's those that say, hey, listen, it doesn't matter. He committed a crime.
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  That's the point there. He committed a crime. He took it upon himself.
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  That means that we're going to let people to decide to take justice upon themselves.
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  You know, we could go on and on and on.
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  But it's a situation and one of the reasons why my mother reached out to me in this case.
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  And I see that a lot of people now around my social, because there's a lot of
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  Puerto Ricans in my social, you know what I mean?
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  They have kind of shared light on what's going on and basically kind of given
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  their opinion on the situation.
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  I always like to look at things on the both sides because the fact that there
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  was a situation, in my understanding, there was a rift between my grandfather,
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  the father of my mother, and my father, the abuser. You know what I mean?
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  Where, you know, things could have gotten heated.
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  My father passed away when I was young for all the causes, but whatever the
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  case might be, those situations are often common And sadly, there are sometimes
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  situations that are ignored because, hey, it happened at the house.
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  That's your problem. If you don't leave, you know, sadly, there's a lot of women.
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  And I'm going to say, you know, one of the specifics is a woman in this case.
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  And again, I understand that there are other things domestic,
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  but I'm just going to say, what's the leading? Like 90%, 95% is the woman.
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  There's a lot of causes why a woman believes in a case that they will feel like,
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  ah, maybe that person, maybe the man is having a hard time, the husband.
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  We got kids. We're going to try to patch it out, whatever the case.
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  And sometimes that leads that the more time you're holding into something,
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  the more time, and a story.
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  And even there have been many times where women have moved on,
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  But sadly, the situation is that, you know, there's that jealousy rage,
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  there's this rage, there's whatever rage, revengeful, you left me.
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  Sometimes I've heard stories where two couples, they married,
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  they have kids, then one is doing, you know, the abuser, the man, the woman.
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  And then, I don't know where you kind of create this, you know, the man create this.
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  Thing of that oh you've been playing me you've been doing dirt and
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  you left me now you're getting married with somebody else and
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  that's the reason why would you know for some reason there
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  are men that get into this illusion and i've heard stories where
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  they create these fake narratives a fake story just to justify what they did
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  oh you know what oh she's getting married you hear the story oh she's getting
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  married to the new guy they've been together for two or three years maybe that's
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  the person that you was cheating me on when most likely it wasn't.
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  See, domestic violence has so many intricates and so many different aspects
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  that it's not just, you know, just one path where that's what determines domestic violence.
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  In the case of Wanda Rodriguez, that was murdered in 1990, you know,
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  with the child who actually came on TikTok.
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  I mean, she went on TikTok. That's how she started telling the story and to
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  find out that her father, the one that killed Wanda, the mother,
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  passed away in DR of whatever causes, natural causes, something to that effect.
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  And the fact that she was affected for years because she was a witness,
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  she was there, whatever the case might be.
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  And sometimes we forget about that as well. There's a lot of children that survive.
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  That situation where sadly someone decides to take it upon themselves to end the life of another.
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  Let's say in this case would be a man to a woman.
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  And there are children involved. There are sometimes, sadly,
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  the man will take the children's life as well.
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  But there's many times that they don't. For whatever great miracle that happens.
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  But you see, if because.
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  And that's one of the things that I remember. I mentioned this to a couple of
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  my sisters, my Black sisters in the community.
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  For those, you know, they support of the Black Lives Matter movement.
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  I mean, in regards to, let's say, a situation where an unarmed Black young man,
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  whatever the case might be, gets killed by an armed cop.
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  You know, sometimes I like to think that, yes, racism does play a part,
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  But I also like to think and like to mention that a lot of our,
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  you know, young brothers and sisters.
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  Black and Latino who come from a household of domestic violence,
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  we are one, two or three steps behind certain situations.
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  Sadly, if a black brother comes out, especially young men,
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  comes out of the household where his mother has been a victim of domestic violence,
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  and he leaves the house, he's walking in the streets outside jittery,
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  nervous, not sure what to do.
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  A cop stops him. Hey, young man, what are you doing?
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  What are you doing? Put your hands up.
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  The kid doesn't know what to do because he just witnessed what?
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  He's going to probably tell the cop, hey, listen, I'm sorry.
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  You know, I can't put, you know, he's going to be nervous, what the cops are going to do.
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  But you see, a lot of times I like to think that, listen, can we find out exactly a little further?
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  Because if that's the case, then what are we doing?
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  What are we doing in our community to address the situation with domestic violence?
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  In the case of the daughter of Wanda Rodriguez, she has spoken out how dramatizing
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  every year on the anniversary of the death of her mother or birth,
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  there's something to that effect. She goes on a dark depression.
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  Now, for every person that goes out there that are maintaining,
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  holding on to life because there's a story to tell, there's those that either start going on these.
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  Whether it's drugs or alcohol, they go to these dark places because that's the only avenue.
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  And again, you know, I always plead to people, we need to address the situation
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  with domestic violence in our neighborhood and our communities because it's a cycle.
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  Now, sadly, if one thing my understanding is that, you know,
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  domestic violence tends to kind of go a little bit upscale when it comes to,
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  and when I say upscale, it's talking about like the stats, the number,
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  in areas, there's this poverty.
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  And I've been living in New York City for a long time and there's
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  a lot of area of poverty and those area of
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  poverty and when we mean by poverty is compared to what it is on the national
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  scale you know i don't like when people be like well you know compared to the
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  other countries at least no no let's compare the numbers here there's a lot
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  of people in poverty here in new york city and when it comes to poverty you make bad decisions,
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  and when you make bad decisions one of the things that happen is that domestic
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  violence tends to just go up because now you got two struggling people.
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  Now, sometimes there's stories where the mother's working or collecting some
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  public assistance, and then the husband, you know, the man, whatever it is,
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  boyfriend, struggling, not doing much.
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  So two people struggling at the same time, whatever it is, it's never a good thing.
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  Now, we hear how can we address it? How can we address it?
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  I know there's programs out there, But we definitely got to somewhere,
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  somehow, try to nip things to, you know, as they would say, nip it to the butt.
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  Meaning that, hey, listen, if you are someone who sees a woman or children with
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  marks or whatever, always dress.
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  I know that sometimes it's hard for us because you say, well, it's not my problem.
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  It's not my business. Well, sometimes you got to make it your business because
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  you'll be saving not only just one life, which is a woman, but you're probably
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  going to be saving kids as well.
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  And sometimes there's women out there that just might feel shameful to seek for help.
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  One interesting story, once again, that happens in the community is that there's
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  a lot of immigrant, undocumented women who suffer through domestic violence.
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  You know, people, I'm like touching, I'm touching a post here that a lot of
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  people don't touch, but I have to trust it because you know what?
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  It comes to a point in life that you kind of say to yourself,
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  why is it collectively there are communities in the black, brown, Latino community?
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  Why are we struggling? And we struggle because of so many issues that nobody,
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  and depending on the issue, there's people with well-mean, there's people with
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  money, there's people who can help.
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  They don't care about those issues. They care about whatever issues that they
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  could make money, whether it's a George Floyd situation, whether it's another
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  situation, whatever narrative they could make money, they will be willing to step in.
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  Any other issues that we have within our community, oh, that's your problem.
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  Damn, you know what? Okay, maybe the cops will intervene on whatever the case
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  might be, but hey, most likely that's undone. Hey, that's not our problem.
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  And the situation with Miguel, you know, it's again, And you can feel free to
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  share, comment, what you think about the situation, whether he was justifiably or he had to.
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  How can I say, the decision to go out there and do and take good things upon himself.
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  Let's go. Last time I checked in Puerto Rico.
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  And it's one of those situations because why does it happen in certain areas?
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  Because sometimes the system is full of the abuses.
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  So when someone does the abuse, whether it's the judge, the lawyers,
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  the local police, if 50% of them are abusers, then guess what?
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  It happens in the Christian churches as well.
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  Sadly, some of these pastors, leaders in church, they are the abusers.
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  So, well, they're going to tell the world, well, you know, God,
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  you know, well, God does and, you know, you only could divorce.
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  And those, you know, at least do the best thing to help those individuals because
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  I guess it comes to a point that, hey, listen, are you going to have enough
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  women out there in this world?
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  Because us, the abuse, nobody reports it. Nobody does. There's not a lot of programs.
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  So, you know, it's an interesting topic.
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  It's one of those things that I'm always going to be talking about it more and
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  more and more because until whatever it is, until we do a big,
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  big, big, big, big march.
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  Forget about these marches that we have every weekend.
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  When we do a big march in unison, you're going to see the people that's on that crowd.
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  And yes, there are domestic violence marches and groups and all that.
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  But when the numbers continue to be the same, black, Latino,
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  black, Latinos, and again, it happens in brown communities, Asian communities,
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  other type of communities, white community, it happens.
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  But those numbers, one and two, followed by what? Crime, drug use,
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  there's poverty and so on.
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  A lot of times when you don't eat good and you don't have the means to eat or
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  even eat a good meal, it's going to throw you off, man.
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  It's going to throw you off because, trust me, I've been there,
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  done that. And, you know, a lot of us, in a lot of the domestic violence situation,
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  you also hear a common story, drugs, alcohol.
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  For some reason, mainly alcohol, what does that tell you?
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  And, hey, listen, I've been in the struggle. You know, listen,
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  financially, I'm not stable. I'm just struggling. But guess what?
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  The human being would say, I got $5.
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  Let me use $1 to eat Let me use the other $4 to alcohol Or find a way to kind
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  of, you know Escape or something to that effect That's the truth, man,
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  And that's just the human nature That has nothing to do with Oh man,
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  why people are dumb And why would they spend money on alcohol When they don't
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  have money to buy food Or don't have that much That's just human nature in itself,
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  where sometimes we gravitate to whatever.
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  You know, kind of ease our pain, especially if you grow up in an environment
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  of domestic violence, especially if you're a victim of survival,
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  whether you're the mother, the surgeon, whatever the case might be,
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  sometimes that's our escape, nothing else.
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  And once in a while, we get those good stories of escaping as a woman with the kids.
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  We get those stories, and I love those stories.
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  And I love those stories that they're on the side of the right side of women.
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  And then I forget, okay, this guy right here, oh, my God, he's a leader in this world.
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  How can I say he's a leader in the community, he donates money.
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  And because he does that, we have to not charge him with whatever it is.
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  Because he did that, and that happens as well, too. You know,
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  that's why I said I mentioned the pastors.
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  Oh, but he's a church leader in the community. So what? What does that mean?
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  And if that person did wrong, if he did wrong, we need to go after that person. Because you know what?
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  Every time that we ignore the signs of domestic violence, trust me,
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  somebody's life will be taken away.
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  Women and kids, for the most part.
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  Anyways, this is the Deconstructing Topic Podcast. Heavy, hard,
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  heavy to the set, but feel free to hit the like, enjoy, comment.
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  And when I say enjoy, just listen to it carefully.
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  Because we here and we all got each other. Anyways, I'm out of here.
• 19:45
  Deconstructing Topic Podcast. I'm out. Let's make it happen.