Latest / Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano / Everything is Impermanent

Transcript

Everything is Impermanent · Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano

0:00
Hey, guys and dolls. Before we jump into this episode, a note
0:03
about our content today. This is created for adult audiences only. We advise
0:08
listener discretion as this conversation focuses on sexual, physical, and emotional abuse.
0:15
Might be a lot to take in, so if you need a breather,
0:19
take a break and come back later. This is Your Pain Game podcast where
0:27
we talk about the game of living in and with chronic pain and trauma,
0:31
getting to the heart of how to heal. I am your host, Lindsay
0:35
Soprano. On the show, I plan on discussing with doctors, chronic pain
0:41
patients, holistic practitioners, loved ones, and anybody that is interested in having
0:46
their voice heard in the chronic pain and trauma world that we live in.
0:59
Oh goodness, guys, Hi, I have dealt with many, many,
1:04
and many women's health challenges throughout my life. That's sort of when I wasn't
1:08
even a damn woman yet, you know, as a young wild and to
1:14
those who have listened to the show thus far, traumatized little girl, and
1:18
sometimes I kind of feel like I'm still that little girl that has to work
1:21
through a lot of stuff. I never truly felt like I was supported in
1:26
my health and my well being from the get go. Is that being a
1:30
child of the late seventies and early eighties, I don't know. I think
1:34
as part of it, our parents didn't really have all the tools in front
1:38
of them that parents do now. But with a litany of health issues,
1:42
and not just women's health issues, but my whole life, I always felt
1:45
like doctors didn't believe me, Like why would I make this up? Why
1:49
would I make this like my full time job to come in here and break
1:53
things up. I don't have Munchausen, you know, and you know I'm
1:57
not an attention seeker. I'm not a I don't look for pills, don't
2:01
take any of them. So I was like, why would I make this
2:04
up? And why are all of my doctors treating me this way? Why
2:07
would the thirteen year old, the twenty three year old, the thirty two
2:09
year old, and now this beautiful forty five year old make things up?
2:13
I wouldn't write. But what I've found is over the years, and it
2:16
still is even the case and I'm working on it, is that I needed
2:20
validation. I needed validation in all aspects of my life, and I always
2:24
considered myself to be a fairly high functioning, thick and traumatized person who kills
2:31
herself on the daily to be perfect. And while I was putting my outline
2:37
together today to do this episode with my guess who You're just Gonna love,
2:40
you know, I turned on a lotus more set and that's gonna aidge me
2:45
a little bit. But she has a song called perfect, and it quickly
2:49
reminded me of how I felt so inadequate as a little girl, as a
2:53
teenager, as someone in college, and even to this day, that I
2:58
feel so inadequate because I wasn't perfect, no matter how fucking hard I tried.
3:00
Be a good girl, right, be a good girl may not a
3:07
chance try harder, because I simply wasn't good enough. And of course this
3:12
comes from a life riddled with trauma. Big teas and little teas. I
3:15
know we hear that all the time in our world, and I don't know
3:17
if they should even be called big and little anymore. I think it's just
3:21
trauma, right. Everybody experiences trauma differently, and I don't think that we
3:24
should categorize it that way. But anyways, the quote from the song that
3:30
left me in tears before I was doing this episode was we'll love you just
3:35
the way you are if you're perfect. We'll come to find out perfect is
3:38
boring and absolutely impossible. So let's talk about it. Let's talk about how
3:43
stress and trauma and health are all plain together, but they're not just the
3:47
physical body. We've got to talk about our hearts, our soul, our
3:51
spirits, our mind, all of it. Because it's a holistic approach like
3:54
we talked about on the show all the time. And my guest today is
3:58
no stranger to health issues and of course this topic of perfectionism. So without
4:02
further ado, i'd like to introduce you to my guest day fallin Morning Star.
4:06
Hello, Darling, Hello, there such a beautiful energy. I always
4:12
have to come in on that because it's just such a breath of fresh air.
4:15
So thank you so much for having me on here. Oh I'm a
4:17
breath of fresh air. Yes, Oh my gosh, Well, guys,
4:20
calendar, this maybe I am because I'm real and I'm raw and I'm true
4:26
and I'm honest. But it took me a while to get here because suppression
4:29
and shame really has riddled my life with that. But this isn't about me
4:32
anymore. It's about you. So Fallon is a certified FDNP and after years
4:38
of struggling with various health concerns like the digestive comfort, Oh my gosh,
4:42
give me a break with that, insomnia? Hello, fatigue? What's that
4:46
hair loss? I had to shave my head a couple of times, Muscle
4:48
soreness, irregular cycles, emotional eating. It goes on and on, and
4:51
she took her health into her own hands. She trained as a bodybuilder and
4:56
powerlifter and always thought that she understood her health. I never have, so
5:00
it is interesting to hear that part of it. I mean, protein shakes
5:03
and supplements. What else could be the healthy way of living? Right?
5:06
But she thought she knew it, and then she was so wired and so
5:11
tired. And here we are today. So let's get into it, rolling
5:15
out the red carpet for you, And I'd like to start with how you
5:18
got into bodybuilding and a little bit of that perfectionism and what led you to
5:23
take your health buy the balls and let's go from there, all right,
5:28
All, So, to be honest, I got into health from I want
5:33
to say my brother. My brother is five years older than me, and
5:36
he we had this weight gym in our basement. So growing up, like
5:41
he'd be down there, I might be down there. We'd be listening to
5:44
Like or I would be listening to the soundtrack of Rocky Like a completely completely
5:50
loved it. It was totally my jam I listen to a lot as Morris
5:55
that she's listening to Rocky. It's very different today. So I would say
6:02
I was never really consistent. I would go to the gym here and there,
6:08
dilly dally around, play around, go to the YMCA that we have
6:11
here with the as a neighbor we'd have, we would we would talk half
6:15
of the time. But growing up that's that's kind of where it came from
6:18
of exercising. But I never really had structure so out coming outside of college.
6:26
Like in college there was a lot of thumb movement here or there.
6:30
I did do intermural football or intermural soccer, but nothing really that was consistent
6:35
until after college I had I asked one of the personal trainers actually a Planet
6:42
Fitness, to help me get quote toned. I said, I'm looking to
6:47
get toned. I just got out of college and I needed to start to
6:51
put my body together. So granted, at the time, eating wise,
6:56
I didn't really know what healthy eating was. It was typical standard a Maria
7:00
diet Pasta's I mean, still homemade cooking, but nothing about like no concept
7:04
of what gluten was like anything like this. No health symptoms either that I
7:10
knew of. And fast forward. I went through a twelve week program completely
7:16
on my own. It's completely free. The trainer at Planet Fitness director and
7:19
you should go through this program. I was like, okay, sure,
7:21
I'll follow whatever. And I followed it for twelve weeks, first time,
7:27
first program I've ever completed by myself, and I saw massive results of my
7:32
physical self and in my confidence and getting the feedback from other people like oh
7:38
my goodness, Wow, what a transformation. And then there was a gentleman
7:42
there that said, have you ever considered bodybuilding? And I said, what
7:47
is that? And so I looked it up and there's this bikini, there's
7:54
figure physique. So these are the terms of the categories of bodybuilding competitions.
7:59
I was like, ooh, yeah, maybe I'd consider that. The meantime
8:01
shifted to a private gym where I actually learned how to train. I learned
8:07
how to do the movements, and I felt like a complete Toddler from business
8:13
because I thought I knew. I thought I had this strong comminescy I know
8:16
how to train. Not the case. I started very much from the bottom.
8:20
The owner of the gym is like one of my best friends to this
8:24
day. He taught me everything that I know about training, and in the
8:28
midst of us me being trained and then us being training partners for some time,
8:33
I went through two or three different powerlifting meets, so completely different training
8:39
style than what bodybuilding is and a whole concept or the point is to one
8:45
really get closer knit to the community like at the gym, but to changing
8:50
your style of training so your body continues to adjust and to train. Like
8:54
powerlifting is very much strength based, it's very much powers I started out in
9:01
that scene, and then we can go into the symptoms that kind of came
9:07
up from there. Well, yeah, I mean, because that's that's really
9:09
what I want to touch on, because I know that you started you had
9:13
this litany of health issues, not unlike myself, but a lot of women
9:18
suffer with the same stuff. I mean when you get down to it,
9:22
and I talk to women every single day now by doing this show, and
9:24
how many things stem from a lot of trauma and our self esteem issues,
9:30
feeling inadequate, not feeling perfect, not being able to do these things,
9:33
and looking at other people and just never feeling really good. I always acted
9:37
like I was incredibly confident, like I was on stage. I was an
9:41
opera major. I did all these things. I can get in front,
9:43
I can stand up in karaoke until the cows come home. But when I
9:46
get home and I look at myself in the mirror, I don't necessarily see
9:50
what I'm reflecting back to other people. And it's something that I've tried to
9:54
that I've actually not tried. I've learned that that's actually what I was like
10:00
when I was younger, and I didn't know that that's what I was like.
10:03
I didn't I didn't really realize it until probably over the past year year
10:05
and a half. That's okay, nuts, Yeah, yeah, So what
10:09
happened with you with your health issues? So I think antant important point to
10:15
touch on is when I did go to this this private family that gym,
10:20
I had gone through a pretty traumatic breakup and the gym was really my outlet.
10:24
So it was like this person didn't choose me. I'm not worthy enough.
10:28
I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable enough. And so then I
10:31
was like, okay, well let's and sure there were other thoughts in this,
10:35
but this thought certainly came up. Okay, well I'm going to be
10:37
enough. Then I'm going to do all the things and you know, work
10:41
full time, go to graduate school, train as a bodybuilder, all the
10:45
things. Outwardly, yeah, physical structure, masculine, like I'm going to
10:50
be strong. You know, I am not going to you know, cry
10:56
basically you know, being this like strong shield, strong women. Hear me,
11:01
roar. Yeah, I'm good. I've got it. Don't worry about
11:03
it. Don't worry. I got it. And so I were like from
11:05
you, yes, eating these, eating the m and ms, eating all
11:11
the sweets to fill this like void or just try to like cope with whatever
11:15
we're dealing with inside. Totally get it. So I didn't have an awareness
11:20
of what holistic was, even if I had any health symptoms. And so
11:24
like, looking now that I have some aware, you know, looking back,
11:26
I'm like, oh my gosh, Like I actually did have digestive issues
11:30
all the way up until adulthood. So it's just amazing how our awareness changes
11:33
when certain chaos comes up, so the I even forget which symptom was first,
11:41
but over time, over time, it just kind of compiled and compiled.
11:45
So yeah, emotional eating. I remember studying like because I would get
11:50
up, go to work, go right to school. It'd be an hour
11:52
drive, stay there for a three and a half lecture, hour back,
11:54
and maybe study a little bit. And that was my life like three years.
11:58
And I would eat these peanut butter m and ms. I remember like
12:01
beating my in my apartment and it's just like I need more energy, you
12:05
know, because we're trying to get that quick fix and it's like you know,
12:09
and then it's the wired and tired because the blood sugar's just regulated and
12:13
the millstonean's messed up. Blah blah blah. So really emotional eating, the
12:18
insomnia, that wired and tired feeling. I would sleep probably, I would
12:22
sleep quote unquote eight hours maybe, but I would feel always tired. I
12:28
would still be training five days a week and I could not continue to recover
12:33
like I was. It'd be four days after I trained my back and it
12:37
would still be tender, it still be sore. I'm like my guinness,
12:39
like what is going on? And In the midst of that, I was
12:41
taking their home run a birth control pill, and I had been from ages
12:46
age sixteen to twenty six, and mind you, twenty six is when all
12:50
of these symptoms were coming up. So I knew, like, one,
12:52
I don't need to take this anymore. Too. I read, I listened
12:56
to a podcast, read a book on the hormonal birth control pill, and
13:01
I'm like, well, okay, wow, I need to step off of
13:05
this. So I think stepping off of that taking that pill every single day
13:09
actually exacerbated all the symptoms because the synthetic estrogen is not going in my system
13:13
every day now, and it's like, oh, we've had this for a
13:16
decade, what are you doing? So, you know, that just kind
13:18
of exacerbated everything else. And my like emotions are just how sensitive I felt,
13:24
how my nervous system was like all out of whack and bloating. Mind
13:30
you. I was doing the protein supplements, doing the pre workouts or like
13:35
the protein bars, and I'm like, I'm still feeling like garbage, but
13:39
yet I'm still hitting my protein goal, you know, and it's just complete
13:45
the goal that you need to hit though, right my vitamin Yeah, I
13:52
took the vitamins. I did all of the things, and I should be
13:54
a pillar of health, So why is that not happening? Yes, trading
14:00
so frustrating. So yeah, those were like just a marry out of my
14:03
current symptoms. Oh. I remember actually one day walking back from the gym
14:07
to my apartment, walking feeling lightheaded. I'm like, wow, I should
14:13
not be feeling this at twenty six. This is crazy feeling. That sparked
14:16
me to be like, Okay, I don't want this to happen when I'm
14:18
driving, or happen anywhere else, Like I need to go see a physician.
14:22
And I went and he was like, wall, you don't. I
14:28
explained everything I just shared here, and I said, I think it's my
14:31
hormones. I'm not sure. I just stopped the birth control pill blah blah
14:33
blah, and he was like, well, you look okay. You look
14:35
better than a lot of people around here. Though on the outside. I
14:39
was like I feel really bad on the inside, like really fatigued. And
14:45
I didn't even have an awareness of really what perfectionism is or what really I
14:50
was doing. I was just doing it, doing all the things I didn't
14:54
really know how to be. I didn't know anything about the nervous system.
14:58
I didn't know a work of trauma. But I was like, yeah,
15:01
oh, people get in car accidents, that's trauma. You know. I
15:03
didn't have any awareness about this. So I'm you know, speaking to the
15:09
position and he's like, well, you know, we could maybe check your
15:13
tisastron or check this. And it wasn't a full panel. It was like
15:16
you probably have to pay one hundred dollars per hormone. And I'm like,
15:20
this doesn't really feel right. So I went to my guy ecologist explained everything
15:24
that I just shared here again and she's like, well, what other contraceptive
15:28
do you want to be on. I was like, really nothing, nothing,
15:31
I just want to feel better. That's not going to help me.
15:35
So I saw this woman since age sixteen, and this is what she had
15:39
to share with me. That was our last interaction. I was like,
15:41
no, you're not on my side totally. And I think I remember when
15:46
we were talking on our meet and grade that I had. I had interviewed
15:50
an attorney from that Netflix documentary and he was on my show The Bleeding Edge,
15:54
and we talked about the fact that a lot of these women that were
15:58
in this in this documentary there and then even him as an attorney battling all
16:03
these cases on behalf of women's health and our bodies, and he's just amazing.
16:07
And how the women doctors were the worst of all of the doctors because
16:15
they're like, well, I've not experienced that with my vagina, so how
16:18
could that possibly happen to others? And it was like this big, Well,
16:19
I've done that procedure before and it worked fine. I had it myself,
16:22
and you're like, wait a second, though, it's not everybody.
16:26
It's every body. We all have our own body, like we have to
16:29
treat it as somebody different than the last person that walked in the room.
16:33
And if our doctors, especially in Western medicine, are not curious and are
16:37
not interested in actually acting on our behalf in our healthcare, why do we
16:41
go to him? I mean that's why I stopped going. I was like,
16:47
guess what I'm here. I brought you my one sheet. It's actually
16:51
longer than a one sheet. Now, of all the things I've tried,
16:53
these are medications. I tried it three times. I tried this, this,
16:56
I did it. I have a whole thing, and I when I
16:57
check into a doctor's office at the front desk, I give them my piece
17:00
of paper and I'm like, if you if the doctor does not read this,
17:03
if you're coming in the room, I'm fucking out of here because I'm
17:07
not going to explain all of this for the seven hundredth time and have somebody
17:11
not care like I know that I had always asked them, would you mind
17:15
taking me home with you for a night in your heart and just think on
17:19
it about anything that I've talked about today and see if maybe, just maybe
17:25
there might be a better way than you just throwing me on a pill and
17:27
sending me on my way. Yeah. They don't love that, and they
17:33
don't know. They don't know. Yeah, they don't know how to do
17:37
it. Yeah, they don't know how to do it. So that's when
17:38
functional medicine comes into play and we talk about functional medicine, functional nutrition,
17:44
functional everything on this And I love that it is called functional because the whole
17:48
reason that we are coming to you for functional medicine is because we are dysfunctional.
17:52
Our bodies are not working, and our bodies are not just a foot,
17:56
a nose, an ear, a heart. It is the whole body
18:00
that has to be looked at, and that includes asking questions about what happened
18:03
to you. So you got into wanting to well, I would stand similar
18:10
to me, is wanting that validation of the things that were going on with
18:12
your bod, and you got into the functional side of things. Can you
18:15
talk a little bit about that. Yes, so it looks a little bit
18:19
different today. But I did a food sensitivity test and a lot of the
18:23
foods that I was currently eating in my meal prep. Now mind you,
18:26
I mentioned full time work, part time grad school, bodybuilding. So I
18:30
had to meal prep probably three meals per day, so maybe like fifteen twenty
18:36
meals over the weekend. So I would save myself the time to actually,
18:41
you know, stick to that regimen. And so once I had this food
18:45
sensitivity result in front of me, I was like, oh my goodness.
18:48
I eat broccoli, I eat green peppers all the time, and I'm very
18:53
reactive to these foods. And that's kind of what happens, you know,
18:56
like these food sensitivities are an indication that something is wrong with your gut,
19:00
something is being reactive to your current state of health. And it was validating
19:07
to me because I couldn't correlate that It's not like I felt dreadfully awful or
19:11
had hives come out on me when I would eat these foods. But in
19:14
the background, like yes, you know, and a reaction was going on
19:18
and feeding into that. And so then I did a hormone test. Meanwhile,
19:22
progesterone, this big, beautiful steroidal hormone, was like a two on
19:30
a scale of I forget that now we have we use a different lab currently,
19:34
but very low. I'll just say very low. Should not be a
19:37
it sounds very low. We're just going with that. We're very scientific here
19:42
on the Paying Game podcast. And then fool test and my immune system was
19:53
very low, so being like maybe it was fighting something for quite some time
19:59
and now that's the best output that it can do. I had different type
20:03
of opportunistic bacteria imbalances. I had a high level of Helicobacter pylori. So
20:10
just a bacteria that feeds on this hydrochloric acid and so leaving little for us
20:15
to you know, digest that steak or digest that protein. So right,
20:21
very much in balances, a lot of imbalances and validating for me because it
20:25
was a roadmap to say, aha, something is wrong. Hee, I
20:30
told you, I'm not making this up. And even if it's not telling
20:34
other people that, like, you're not making up, it's validation for yourself.
20:38
You're like, oh my gosh, there was a test that was done.
20:41
Because I've done the whole gamut like you have. The only thing I
20:44
haven't done is my hair yet, so that's the only thing that I have
20:47
left to do. But when I found all these results, it was like,
20:51
I told you all this stuff, but I did this test that talked
20:55
about medications, that tested me for how I responded to certain medications, and
20:59
I was telling them like, I promise you, I'm not making this up.
21:02
I am the reason that at the end of medication or big pharma commercials,
21:06
there's always the like long list of things that can happen by taking this
21:10
pill, and I guarantee those will happen to me because I'm not like point
21:17
two percent that will have a shitty response to a medication. And nobody believed
21:22
me. And then about a year and a half ago, I got a
21:26
test done and the arrows were like up and down, the opposite of what
21:30
the medication was supposed to be doing. I would have the absolute adverse effects,
21:34
and so I looked up all the medications that had been prescribed to me
21:38
over the years for pain and anxiety and stress and live depression whatever it is,
21:45
almost all of them. I had the ad the absolute opposite response of
21:48
what they expected it to be. Valination. So you know, it's because
21:53
it makes you kind of feel crazy. It makes you kind of feel like
21:56
a hypochondriac, you know, like I promise you I'm not making this up.
22:00
So that must have felt really good for you too, Yeah, and
22:03
for you to just say like, no, I know this, this is
22:07
yeah. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, and it takes. It takes,
22:11
it does, yeah, it does. Yeah. So what are you doing?
22:15
And really because you so you went you went to school, and you
22:17
did all these things, and then you started and you got into certifications and
22:19
you got yourself, Ah, now I've got my validation. I know what's
22:23
going on now. So then what happened after that for you? Because now
22:27
you've turned it into your life now, right right, So the practitioner that
22:33
I had worked with had just kind of got up and running. So the
22:37
protocol was lax in a way, although there were adjustments, it wasn't necessarily
22:44
like extremely regimented. It It's but there were massive results, so got rid
22:51
of the food sensitivities. I actually went through a round of short round of
22:56
biodentical hormone drops just to find some relief. Oh yeah, amazing, what
23:02
is that hormones? Oh? The drops? The drops? There are droppers
23:07
And there was three different ones dHvA pregnant alone and another one yeah, another
23:14
one. And felt amazing, is this really is what it's supposed to feel
23:19
like to just have normal hormones. And so really depending on the client,
23:26
depending on how severe there if feeling, there is a relief phase. We
23:30
just want to have some relief and so then we go into the rebuilding and
23:33
then the maintenance. So that relief was really beautiful. And it wasn't like
23:37
I didn't say, oh I'm fixed now, you know, I can go
23:41
and you know, hit the weights again. That wasn't the case. So
23:47
then we went through some natural supplements as far as healing the guts, you
23:52
know, we did the matula tea for the h pylori, some of the
23:55
micosol barrier support and whatnot, and then I felt much better. I learned
24:02
that I should be sleeping differently, drastically improved my sleep hygiene. What is
24:07
sleep. I'm sorry, I'm from I didn't even know either. I didn't
24:12
know either, because I would stay up late reading and I would wake up
24:15
early to do this personal development stuff because that I was like, we have
24:19
to do this, and just so disciplined and regimented. And I still am.
24:26
But I'm not this like psycho about it. Well said, well,
24:30
I'm happy you're not a psycho anymore. You know, I'm a human being.
24:36
I'm not a machine. Yeah, And I have this awareness of that
24:40
tendency or that pattern to do those things and be like, wait, is
24:42
that actually serving me? Why am I doing that? I like that phrase
24:47
serving me because you let go of the things that aren't serving you anymore.
24:51
There's a daily meditation that I listen to, not every day, but I
24:53
listened to this one particular one, and it is literally about letting go of
24:57
the things that are not serving you. And it's a hard one to swallow
25:00
because you're like, what do you mean I have to let go of all
25:04
of that? Like I'm good with all of that right now, because even
25:07
though it's bad for you, You're like, I'm not ready to let go
25:11
of that. And that is a challenging thing to do, but you don't
25:14
have to do it all in one day and then expect to wake up the
25:17
next morning and you're like, well, I stopped everything, so why didn't
25:21
I feel better? Yeah? Exactly. Yeah. I think that's such a
25:25
good point about letting go. It's like our human attachment to things, So
25:29
we can go back to childhood with that. I guess we can the abandonment
25:33
wound that a lot of us have our hands. Yeah. I think we've
25:41
raised our hands like thirteen times so far on this because I've made my Laurie,
25:45
I've got all the things you mentioned. I mean, like give me
25:47
a break. Yeah. Yeah. And it's it's like that awareness that we
25:51
do have that attachment to things, but everything is impermanent and we have to
25:56
learn to let go of things. And when I say in permanent, this
26:02
is just kind of not a new term, but a very new perspective or
26:04
concept. And I just learned from this this meditation retreat I was at,
26:08
and it's like, wow, Yeah, every single second we have cells that
26:12
are dying in our body. Our attachment to these things, our attachment to
26:15
our current physical structure, it's it's going to change, and we have to
26:18
accept that well, and that's the hard part. And but it's also I
26:22
kind of reading this book right now. I don't forget that. I forget
26:26
the title of it, because it just started it this morning, and it
26:27
was definitely talking about the initial part of letting go, but how hard it
26:33
is to make those little adjustments, but to just not beat yourself up about
26:37
them, because they're just a little tweet, you know, here and there
26:41
along the way, and those little tiny steps make huge changes over time.
26:48
And I know everyone because we live in the like to your point, we
26:51
move, move, move, we go, go Google, gole. We
26:52
never have time and we're expecting instant results. And that's part of the reason
26:57
why we're in the we're baking cake we are in the first place, because
27:00
we're all trying to like get it all done as fast as we possibly can
27:04
without intention and without mindfulness, you know, and until you start learning those
27:10
things, learning how to be mindful, learning to work daily things about intention,
27:15
not just today this morning. This is my intention. I have to
27:18
be intentional about eating, like I have to be so last night when we
27:22
were eating, I'm eating this steak and I'm eating my broccoli and I'm sorry,
27:26
can you eat broccoli yet or are you still Yeah that was a couple
27:30
years ago. Okay, because I love broccoli, like that's my number one
27:33
go to I love it, so you like almost gave me like have to
27:36
look at my sensitivity testing again to make sure. But yeah, I'm sitting
27:40
there and I'm sitting there talking my sweetie. I'm like, Okay, we're
27:42
both gonna eat slow today. With each bite, we're gonna put our fork
27:47
down and we're going to chew, and then we're gonna swallow it, and
27:51
then we're gonna sit and we're gonna chit chat for a couple of minutes,
27:52
and then we're gonna do the next place. But our food's gonna get cold.
27:56
You're bad. Just work with me, trying so hard to eat again,
28:02
you know, and to put good things in my mouth, happy beef.
28:04
You know, it's not this junk from Costco or whatever. But it's
28:07
just one of those things where you know, without that intention and without being
28:12
mindful of the decisions that we're making, especially with stuff we're putting in our
28:17
bods, what the heck are we doing? Yes, yeah, Wellcus already
28:21
thinking, yeah, what the heck are we doing? We're going everywhere else.
28:22
We're thinking about everything else except for that one thing that we need to
28:26
be doing right now. And it's it's very and you do notice, you
28:29
notice, like if I'm working and eating, I'm like, oh my gosh,
28:32
my stomach actually feels very heavy right now. Totally. Yeah, it
28:34
can be high quality too, Yeah, it doesn't matter. Our mind has
28:38
to say, Okay, now we are eating. We are eating. I
28:42
will eat this little strawberry and I will love every moment of it. But
28:47
it is being present, Yes, think about how it was grown. Think
28:52
about just the beautiful neustrie. Instead are filling theirselves with joy. I mean
28:56
it could be then that's cheesy. How that is is totally true. And
29:00
in fact, I just planted a bunch of strawberries and we about strawberries growing
29:03
on a vine right now in my yard, and I'm very excited about it.
29:06
But it was part of my eating thing was I wanted to plant food.
29:08
So I wanted to put some natural, good, healthy stuff that I
29:12
could forge in my yard that I could get my cilantro front, my guard
29:17
and I could do these things so that I could get a little bit closer
29:19
to food again and have a better relationship with it. So I thought,
29:22
well, I might as well put in like a little mini produce section in
29:26
the backyard and start there. So there's just been some little tiny things that
29:30
I've added that I'm very proud about. And I mean, I'm just scratching
29:33
the surface of this. I didn't know how deep that the disordered eating went,
29:37
because I think it started far before I actually knew it had started.
29:41
And I'm still trying to figure that out. But I have. I've had
29:45
to become more curious than I've ever been. My favorite word these days,
29:48
get curious, curious, Get curious, curious. Health. We'll talk about
29:55
your the retreat that you went on too. Yeah, I had a friend
30:00
that experienced it and she recommended you have to do this in your lifetime.
30:04
So I said, okay, and fast forward this next year. I was
30:07
like, I signed up. You have to apply. There are centers like
30:11
two hundred and seventy centers like around the world. You know, many different
30:17
areas that you could attend. I went to the same one that she did,
30:18
but it was a ten day silent but Passiona Meditation retreat and but Pashona
30:23
is like a meditation technique and mind you one of the first things that I
30:30
did, besides removing those sensitive foods, besides you know, supporting, you
30:34
know, doing the protocol for the hormone in the stool, I incorporated meditation.
30:40
I was very resistant at first because I also had been closed minded and
30:47
not very much in the spiritual side and or even a concept of the emotional
30:52
body like that was not me. Now I'm like what, but now she's
30:56
like grabbing tissues every twenty two seconds. Yeah, I'm like, wow,
31:00
I'm very emotional and well, you're just you kept it in for so long,
31:04
babe, exactly. Now it's like this open box and now you can't
31:08
still have it. Yeah, yeah, now you know, we have more
31:14
of an awareness for sure. But anyway, so I was like, Okay,
31:18
this practitioner is telling me to meditate. I'm going to do everything that
31:21
I can do because I want to feel better. And we started with five
31:23
minute meditations on YouTube, ten minutes, fifteen minutes. Then they were all
31:27
guided because my mind would just go f it was it by neural beats.
31:30
I'm like, I cannot do this, so I need to focus on words
31:34
and I get that. So, you know, fast forward three years,
31:37
I'm still incorporating meditation. I'm exploring different things. Now, I can experiment
31:42
west silently. I can sit by myself observe. There's still always going to
31:48
be thoughts, but you're observing them now you're not really much in it.
31:52
You have some space from the thought. And then this, the passion of
31:57
meditation is different animal that I'm completely different. And it's not about changing your
32:06
breath. It's not about your going and imagining how you want your life to
32:10
be. It is about your body sensations in its current state, and it's
32:16
in reality, what's present here right now, and focusing and sharpening your mind
32:22
on that. And it is very uncomfortable. Thank you for being honest about
32:29
that. Yeah, and some people some people leave within the first you know,
32:34
two three days because it's very uncomfortable because you are sitting for you get
32:38
woken up at four am. You're either meditating in a room or meditating in
32:44
the damahal from four thirty to six thirty. You have breakfast six thirty then
32:50
metamoral meditation, and so you have two meals a day plus tea time,
32:52
but meditation throughout the day for about eight to ten hours. Holy shit,
32:57
eight to ten hours silent, like you can't even say a word the entire
33:01
time. You're there, right, how do you communicate besides the middle finger?
33:07
So if you have questions, not even gestures, not even silence,
33:13
this is you and you alone. Oh no, you and you're alone.
33:16
No, no, no, I'm in myself all the time. Don't do
33:21
this ten days of silence. Listen, listen to me. Can you guys
33:23
even imagine me being silent for more than like an hour? I don't even
33:29
Oh my god, but no cell phone, no computer. Yes, there
33:34
is electricity, of course. But one of the biggest things I've learned from
33:38
that is to actually accept the reality of what it is currently. And that's
33:44
sometimes very hard. If we are in this really traumatic, challenging state,
33:49
it's like I want to get out of this so fast. But if we
33:52
can learn to accept what it is and just be moving, like you said,
33:57
baby step by baby step, in more of a you know, harmonious,
34:01
peaceful state, I think that's where it needs to be. But I
34:06
think a lot of us, myself included, sometimes it's like we we got
34:09
to fix this, or we got to do this and do that, and
34:13
yes, it's still moving in the right direction. But just accept reality as
34:15
it is right now and know that it is impermanent. That's another key piece
34:20
that I learned. Everything is impermanent, and it's just that one step at
34:24
a time that kind of really humbled me, Like okay, like yeah,
34:29
I feel this really like backstabbing pain right now, sitting in this posture for
34:34
over an hour. But I know it's impermanent. You know. It's like
34:38
training our mind to not react. That's tough, because very I think,
34:45
yeah, no kidding, I think my I'm absolutely a reactive human being.
34:49
I've been like that forever. Part of it is just I mean, some
34:52
of it's just my personality, like I don't I can only do so much
34:54
with all of this, you know, But that that impermanence is such it's
35:00
such a wonderful message because I mean, for me, it gives me massive
35:07
amounts of hopes even think about what that word would even mean, and sitting
35:09
in that and sitting in that stillness even but for a bit, I mean
35:15
what I can meditate total for about thirty five minutes. That's about the max
35:21
that I've gotten. Granted, of course I've got you know, the messages
35:23
coming in and out in my mind wanders and that I bring myself back,
35:27
But that takes a lot of work to try to do that and to be
35:30
just with you and not let oh I've got seventy two thousand emails coming in
35:34
and oh my gosh, I've got to do this, and I forgot I
35:36
got to do that. Oh my gosh, I don't have any wine.
35:37
Oh gosh, we don't have milk. You know, like all of that
35:38
stuff that comes in, all that noise. It's so constant, and even
35:43
more so because we're so like glued to our phones and glued to information and
35:46
glued to social media and all that. Especially when you're in marketing like myself,
35:51
you're in it even more and than my sweeties and broadcast journalism, and
35:53
so we're always in the news world, and so it's like just be bombarded
35:58
by messages that are a lot of them are negative. And to be able
36:01
to step away from that for ten days. I applaud you for it because
36:07
it's no easy feet and I've never done it, and I just sounds like
36:12
such an incredible thing for you to accomplish. How did you feel when you
36:15
left? Were you just like I am the son of God? No?
36:22
No, I have the Lord Jesus Christ. Honestly, I feel that that's
36:30
kind of how you would feel like you're walking on water. Man, I'm
36:32
turning water into wine, so you're walking wine. Not at all. Well,
36:37
so days one to ten, So on day ten, about eleven o'clock,
36:45
we could break noble silence, and so we actually got to meet everybody
36:49
else that was there. And at first I was so much in my head.
36:52
And granted, you know, nobody, like our heads, has its
36:55
own mind. You know, it always goes so like if you are focusing
37:00
on these sensations as you were supposed to do with the technique, and your
37:04
mind just goes. We were taught to just gently bring it back, not
37:07
like be so angry, like, oh my gosh, can you just focus
37:10
please, like not do that, but just know that that's what it does.
37:15
And you are training it just like you're training a muscle in the gym.
37:16
You're training it to just come back and focus and continue to scan.
37:20
It goes away again, Come bring it back. Hey there you are,
37:23
like, come over here, and that's what it is. So tour Day
37:27
seven was my hardest day, and you could have interviews around noon with the
37:31
teacher and I brought this up to her and I said, this is really
37:35
a hard day for me. She goes good and masters and it was good
37:45
because it is like, okay, things are coming up. You know,
37:47
we're starting to master mind, we're starting to purify, and it doesn't feel
37:51
good. But I'm not going to be reactionary. I'm just gonna observe it.
37:53
And no, that's im permanent. Maybe tomorrow is going to be better,
37:57
and day ten comes around and we are able to to speak to one
38:00
each other. In total, I think there's maybe seventy of us, holy
38:05
craps, seventy of you. I was thinking it was going to be like
38:08
ten women just like chilling and getting seventy people and you're around all of me.
38:15
You can't say anything. You can't even like wink or like imagine with
38:19
your elbow, like what do you think about this? Are you sure we
38:22
want to stick around? You can't do any of this. This is insane.
38:25
So I'm sure people did do some of that, because like we are
38:29
human beings, but that's including the server, so those that would serve the
38:32
food, make the food, or those that were cleaning up the ground,
38:36
and you know, assistant teacher the course manager like things like that. So
38:39
okay, so there are men and women are seven seventy people. Okay,
38:44
that makes them a little bit more sense to me. So it is like
38:45
a canvas. So the men were kind of had their own residences, we
38:49
had our own We would still all sit in the Dama hall together, but
38:52
just separate side. So yeah, we got a chance to meet the men
38:55
as well and just interact with them. And that was one of the best
38:59
parts too, because we are all having this challenging experience by ourselves, and
39:04
it's like we were talking the whole time these ten days, but we weren't
39:07
talking. So when we actually got to speak to one each other, it's
39:09
like wow. And I honestly feel like I have made such like three people
39:15
come to mind, three longtime friends from that experience, and I didn't even
39:20
really speak with them at all. Right, that's intense. They're so incredible.
39:25
Wow. It's not that I don't think that I would. I don't
39:30
know if I'd be able to do it. I don't. I mean,
39:32
I've I've dabbled here and there, I've done a Chopra thing and I ended
39:36
up bailing out. I was like, I'm not eating pudding for eleven days.
39:40
I'm not going to do this. I'm going to I'm just not.
39:43
I wasn't ready, but I was kind of I was not at a place
39:46
where I had accepted my diagnosis yet. And I don't even know if I
39:50
believe my diagnosis anymore. I'm at the point where, you know what,
39:52
I kind of I've got I got my functional testing stuff, but you've told
39:55
me I have this, and I don't know about that. There are legitimate
39:59
things that I know are wrong, sure, but there's other stuff that I'm
40:00
kind of like, I don't do I not even have CRPS after all these
40:05
years. That is a scary question to have with myself. A conversation to
40:09
have with myself is have I been chasing this whole entire thing for all of
40:14
these years to try to fix it and help it when all this time I
40:16
needed to be doing something like talented, you know, like almost questioning a
40:23
lot of the diagnosis that I've been given over the years, especially from a
40:27
Western medicine perspective, and their approach to giving me care all failed. So
40:31
maybe it's all just totally wrong, And I mean it could be. It's
40:36
also like your like our own belief in that, because I could say the
40:38
same thing about like hypothyroidism and that being scary. I think sometimes it helps
40:45
our brain is actually say like, oh my god, if that's what it
40:47
is. But then it's also like, do not put yourself in that prison,
40:52
in that box, because don't don't label yourself like that, or like
40:55
I've always said, I have CRPS, I'm not CRPS. Yes, so
41:00
I have like I have lime disease, I'm not actually lime disease. I
41:05
have H pylori, but I'm not H pylori right, Like it's it is
41:07
a it's a it's a tricky little game that we have to play with ourselves.
41:12
So it really comes back to circle back to the mindset and how you're
41:15
how you really what your mindset is in the language that you speak to yourself.
41:20
And that's something that I'm working on too, because our thoughts are so
41:22
incredibly powerful, and so when you go on these retreats like this and you're
41:27
there for ten days and you're dealing with your thoughts and that's all you're dealing
41:30
with, Holy moly, do they have you do like things on the campus
41:35
like garden? Do you like, are you actively doing anything or is it
41:38
just like we're eating, we're sleeping, we're meditating. Repeat, I walking
41:44
ad in walking, you can add in walking Okay, there's there was like
41:46
two trails passed in the in the woods that you could walk, okay,
41:51
and that was it. Wow. But you can like journal and stuff,
41:53
right, you can bring whoa. You can't even write? You can't.
41:59
You can't write. You can't listen to music. You can't. Oh no,
42:07
you can't bring your crystals. There's no essential oils, you know,
42:10
like none of that stuff. And mind you, I think super important to
42:14
mention is all of this is free. It's donation based and the only thing
42:21
that you have to pay for is your travel there and travel back. And
42:23
the whole purpose is to take your ego out of it. So it was
42:29
helpful for me because I am like, oh, I got to eat this
42:31
food and like this is what agrees with me? And you know, and
42:36
so if you're paying for it and think, yes, I've paid for the
42:38
travel there and back, but if you're paying for lodgings ay, and you
42:42
have something going on in your room, it's kind of like our ego comes
42:45
up, well I paid for this, like oh for that, Yeah,
42:47
you can. That's interesting about taking your ego out of it. Yeah,
42:52
And the food was very different than what I typically eat, and so my
42:58
diditship system definitely felt it was very flavorful, very tasty, but just different.
43:01
And so when you make such a big change in your die like that,
43:05
sure you're going to feel the impact, especially when you've had previous history
43:07
of issues. But I would not change a darn thing. I thought it
43:12
was awesome. I think everyone should experience that to just really come back into
43:16
center and really recognize what it is that you do think about and what it
43:21
is that you need to purify, because again, things are impermanent, you
43:25
know what's coming to mind. I asked the assistant teacher a question. He
43:30
said, so am, I like, can I not have goals anymore?
43:35
Or like you know, and absolutely not. You can even have you can
43:39
have even more goals, even more ambition. However, you cannot be so
43:44
attached to the outcome. And I thought, huh okay, yeah, I
43:49
get it. Well, yeah, that's kind a lot. You've said some
43:53
incredibly beautiful things here today like that maybe working on show notes and me like,
44:00
oh my gosh, there's like more, there's more like little quote quotes
44:02
of beautiful things that you've said throughout that's just been trickled through this. It's
44:06
just been lovely to hear and also very inspiring because you know, for anybody
44:12
that needed to hear this message today, you know, I feel like all
44:15
of us need to, especially in the fast fast, fast fast fest,
44:19
you know, crazy world that we live in. Thinking about the anxiety that
44:22
pops up, I think. I know I've suffered with massive amounts of anxiety.
44:27
I still do. I'm better at it than I was before. And
44:30
I know you've struggled with anxiety as well. How is your anxiety about it
44:36
when you got there, and how was it throughout? Did you end up
44:38
working through some of that from it, because for me, I'm like,
44:40
the first thing I'm thinking is I'm not going to be able to see pictures
44:44
of my dogs for ten days. Oh it's so sweet, that's so cute.
44:49
I mean, oh yeah, yeah, and you too, honey,
44:52
Yeah, hey always you too. But I'm really worried about the dogs.
44:57
Yeah, well I don't have any dogs. I didn't have that destruction,
45:00
but you know what I mean. Yes, So I would say I was
45:06
extremely excited to go there, But also I felt a little bit dysregulated because
45:10
I'm like, what's going to come up? Like how am I going to
45:13
feel? How am I going to react? And like, ultimately I knew
45:15
I was going to be okay. But going through the practice itself is teaching
45:22
you how to feel your body again and to connect I know we're always in
45:28
our head most of the time, but this is to connect us with our
45:30
senses, like not our senses like smell and hearing, but like to actually
45:37
scan your forehead and have a sensation of can I actually is there any tingling
45:43
here? Does it feel hot or cold? Can I feel the atmosphere actually
45:45
touching my forehead? And training your mind to become sharpened and focused more and
45:53
yes, your mind goes off, but really coming back, okay my nose,
45:57
Like can I actually feel the air inside of my nostril and having it
46:00
be warm as it comes out and doing that with the entire body and towards
46:05
the end of the ten days, we would actually penetrate the skin and go
46:09
inside. And so this is super important. And obviously this takes a lot
46:15
of skill, and I if it became too overwhelming or your mind would go
46:19
like too much. You just focused on part by part, and you just
46:22
focused on the skin. So it's a skill just like you're training in the
46:24
gym, the skill that you get so in tune with your internal system,
46:30
not all of this external like my car, my relationship, blah blah blah,
46:37
internal system, because again, we are changing every single second. The
46:40
first time I scan my body that someone's stabbing me in the back and the
46:44
left side. A second time I scan my body, I have a neckt
46:49
tweak, blah blah blah. In third time, it's different. It's always
46:52
different. It's always different. And so if we can get so in tune
46:54
with our inside, it's almost like indirectly we are healing ourselves because we are
47:00
connecting so deeply within ourselves. And this ultimately was a Buddhist type of practice,
47:09
although this is not a religion or anything like that. It's just a
47:14
technique. But I think I thought I would feel, you know, experiencing
47:19
all these sensations, no matter how subtle or how gross. I thought it
47:22
would feel so much anxiety because I'm not used to feeling that much, and
47:27
so I was a little bit nervous with that. And I think on day
47:29
seven, when it came around. I was like, oh my gosh,
47:31
but I was still in my head. But if sometimes I will experience quite
47:37
a intense feeling in my throat as far as expression groat chakra, but thyroid,
47:45
you know, hyperthyroidism. So this is very much a point for me
47:49
to acknowledge and yet know that that's impermanent. That tightness or that emotion I'm
47:55
feeling right here is it's from a thought originally, and that thought is turning
48:00
into this sensation of this tightness and it's causing my emotions and me to cry.
48:06
So it's recognizing that that is a pattern, but sitting there for a
48:09
second and just observing that and then continue scanning, knowing that that's impermanent.
48:15
That's okay to be there, I'm not going to change it to kay.
48:16
To be there and shifting and it takes so much practice, but I noticed
48:21
when that would come up, there's a couple of times that I could step
48:23
and create that space, not be so sucked into that emotion, but create
48:28
that space and continue scanning my body. And I was like, oh my
48:31
gosh, that shit went away. Well said yeah, like wow, okay,
48:37
like this is kind of cool. I couldn't have said it any better.
48:43
It's not like, don't come back again, but it's like okay,
48:46
that is impermanent, like we're okay, and it's like retraining your mind to
48:52
be like okay, I can handle that. And it's like kind of like
48:55
your mind's becoming this, like it's going to do its own thing. All
48:59
the time it had these past lives, it had this different experience and now
49:04
it's inhabited in your body and now you have to train it to be like
49:08
I'm going to be a moral person. I'm going to do what it is
49:15
I need to do to serve myself and other people in the best way possible.
49:19
And it's just like over and over again, and that's a whole nother
49:22
you know, we could go on for that forever, but I mean,
49:24
I feel like we could talk ever about this. My gosh, And going
49:28
back to the anxiety piece, like, yeah, it's I think everybody has
49:30
anxiety, no matter if you're aware of it or not. Everyone has overwhelming
49:35
times, I mean to the point of panic attacks or not. I mean,
49:38
sure, there's different levels, but I think everyone experiences some sort of
49:44
heightened sense sometimes. And I think the more that we can just be aware
49:47
of that and observe that. I definitely have found that this technique is helpful
49:52
for that. And granted I just got back last Sunday, so I'm still
49:57
very much integrating and keeping up with that practice. But yeah, it's it's
50:04
I think I'm growing in my sensitivity to myself, but there's such a grounded
50:09
feeling of connection to it. If that makes sense, it makes complete sense.
50:14
And well, you're so well spoken about this and so thoughtful, and
50:19
if you could see her, lucky me I get to it's just so incredibly
50:22
just like even just with her talking, she's closing her eyes and she's been
50:25
breathing, and she's been doing all the things that she's been kind of talking
50:29
about while we've been speaking, and it's just it's a really loving and warming
50:32
kind of feeling speaking with you about this. Just so you know, that
50:37
means a lot. Thank you. I really appreciate that You're welcome. Yeah,
50:40
I mean, I you know, I don't blow sunshine up people's asses.
50:44
It's not my thing. So this is incredible. And it kind of
50:46
took a little bit of a turn because I didn't know about the retreat until
50:50
a second before we got on here, but you know when it ended up
50:53
working out absolutely perfect and it is a message that actually I needed to hear
50:58
today too, And I have a I have a complete It's the universe,
51:00
you know. I mean, the universe is such an incredible place, and
51:04
we completely take for granted the power of it and that we're just this these
51:07
we're just like fairy dust here, guys. You know, we're just ah.
51:12
But we can feel better, we can heal, we can be better
51:15
people. We all need to be better people. Come on, give me
51:16
a break. There are a million things that I can do better in this
51:20
world for other people, but one of them is this conversation. And it's
51:23
one of the reasons why I started this show is to find people like you
51:27
and to share your message and to share the message of hope, and to
51:30
share that we're all impermanent. That is unbelievable. That is like the takeaway
51:35
of the day today for me, and I hope that it's going to transition
51:38
throughout the rest of our days here. After listening to this episode, I
51:43
don't even know what else to say outside of this has just been incredible.
51:46
So how can we find you? Because we haven't really talked a lot about
51:50
we haven't talked about the fact that you actually like do things for people.
51:54
But you know what, I actually kind of like how that that's ending up
51:59
because this is turned into a self care one hundred percent kind of an episode.
52:04
And I think that is wonderful because you're showing that you literally just did
52:08
this for you and it's a trickle down effect. Right. I actually don't
52:13
really like that terminology, but anyway, when you start taking better care of
52:16
yourself, everybody else wins. Yeah, I totally agree. And yeah,
52:22
back to that impermanent part. I think it's so humbling because it's like,
52:25
big time. We only have a certain amount of time here and our attachment
52:31
to things, or our attachment to this current face that we have, our
52:36
attachment to the partner. It's not to say that those things are not going
52:39
to come up, but it's just to have that awareness that this is all
52:43
on permanent, enjoy what we have currently and just know like that's going to
52:46
change. And yeah, it's not necessarily going to bring up like all these
52:51
butterflies and everything. It's going to be hard at times, but and then
52:54
it's going to beautiful again. It's that the beautiful shift and that in that
52:58
polarity. But I think it really to say or to just feel like,
53:01
yeah, I mean, I'm totally impermanent, but I need to be grateful
53:07
for the time that I do have here. Yeah, a good way to
53:09
leave us. Yeah, it is. Thank you so much for your time.
53:14
This has really been lovely. Has been lovely. But I do want
53:15
to talk really quick about how we can find you. So she's on all
53:19
the socials and I'll put that in show notes and on social when we distribute
53:22
the episode as well. But you do have a book that you wrote that
53:25
I would like for you to quickly promote and then of course we'll put it
53:29
in social as well. And I know that you wrote it with a couple
53:30
different authors as well, and it supports human trafficking, and I kind of
53:34
want you to just quick dive into that real quickly before we jo Yeah,
53:37
thank you for bringing that up. Yes, of course. So that just
53:39
came out in September and it was just such a lovely experience. There's a
53:45
lot of ladies and myself we each have our own individual chapter about anything that
53:50
we would like to share with the world. And the book is called Shout
53:53
it from the rooftops and my particular chapter is about vitality and play being your
54:00
birthright. So yeah, that book. Super excited to have it out,
54:05
and yeah, we'd love to know what anybody thinks if they found it helpful,
54:08
and you can find it on Amazon. You can't find it on Amazon.
54:13
But can you talk about the human trafficking part really quick as to why
54:15
you guys chose that, because it's really interesting. So all of us ladies
54:19
had the opportunity to choose where we would like all of the funds that we
54:22
get from the book to go to, and we picked a human trafficking organization.
54:28
I believe it's called TAP and Consulting, and they really help those that
54:30
have gone through human trafficking themselves and they help them get their voice back,
54:37
and it's really a beautiful organization. And the whole point is like we want
54:43
to give back and help those that have been through such traumatic experiencing. It's
54:46
not to say that someone in the book went through a human trafficking experience,
54:51
but that was near and dear at our heart because it is so large here
54:55
today, you know, just probably down in the next neighborhood to all of
54:59
us and it's just it needs to be supported, and I think all everyone
55:05
needs to have their own voice and to feel that support from one another another.
55:08
And I am blessed that we chose that particular organization or that human trafficking
55:15
concept well in the title of the book, Shout It from the rooftops really
55:21
does align well with giving the voice back. I mean, it's like,
55:23
it's just beautiful. So thank you so much for being here with me today,
55:27
for us today. This has just been a wonderful time and I can't
55:30
wait to see what you're up to next. Thank you so much, Lindsay
55:34
You've got it. You are exclusively invited to share this humbling and impermanent VIP
55:39
pain journey together. Let's get to the heart of how to heal with you
55:44
by my side. Do you know anyone who is living in and with chronic
55:47
pain or is struggling with health challenges or trauma. If you do, please
55:52
send them our way here to the Pain Game Podcast. We are here with
55:54
open arms. I would love to connect with you or them and hear their
55:58
heartful stories of strength and wisdom and awesomeness. I am here to give them
56:02
and you a safe space to unleash and share your incredible stories. That's what
56:07
I'm here for. Please feel free to always reach out to me DM me
56:10
put out a review or two for the show as well. If you've got
56:14
a couple, you know, minute or two of your time, that would
56:15
be great. But thank you so much for joining us today. Please follow
56:20
the Paining Game Podcast wherever you digest your podcast content, we will be there.
56:24
Visit us at the paygamepodcast dot com, and follow us on all the
56:28
socials. Thanks for listening my little VIPs. Catch you on the other side.