Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / Minisode: International Day of the Girl: Ending Child Marriage

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Minisode: International Day of the Girl: Ending Child Marriage · Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler

0:00
Speaker 1: Hi there, thanks for being with us today. We're sitting
0:03
Speaker 1: here with Princess Mabel von Naranya. Did I say your
0:07
Speaker 1: name correctly?
0:08
Speaker 2: Pretty well?
0:09
Speaker 1: Oh okay, well yeah, I'm an American, so you know
0:11
Speaker 1: you got to cut me some slack. We're under a
0:13
Speaker 1: lot of pressure these days. Thank you so much for
0:16
Speaker 1: being with us today.
0:17
Speaker 2: Very nice to be with you, Chelsea, really really lovely.
0:20
Speaker 2: Oh wonderful.
0:21
Speaker 1: Okay, So this is great. This is going to be
0:23
Speaker 1: a nice educational episode for our listeners since many people
0:27
Speaker 1: aren't aware. There's actually a child marriage crisis all around
0:30
Speaker 1: the world, including here in the United States. So our
0:34
Speaker 1: guest today is here to talk about that. For International
0:37
Speaker 1: Day of the Girl, which is tomorrow, we wanted to
0:40
Speaker 1: shed some light on this issue, and we have somebody
0:43
Speaker 1: who knows a lot about it, so let's discuss it.
0:47
Speaker 1: Says that nearly twelve million girls become brides each year,
0:51
Speaker 1: which means that every three seconds a girl is forced
0:53
Speaker 1: into marriage. I would presume that most Americans would never
0:57
Speaker 1: think that that's happening in this country.
1:00
Speaker 2: Not just that Americans wouldn't think about it. I think
1:03
Speaker 2: most people all over the world were ignoring this, and
1:06
Speaker 2: I mean think about it. The girl. Every three seconds,
1:08
Speaker 2: that's a girl and another girl, and it goes on
1:13
Speaker 2: and on and on, and this is incredibly damaging. So
1:16
Speaker 2: it's a huge problem. But this imagine that you are,
1:18
Speaker 2: let's say, a fourteen year old girl, whether you're growing
1:21
Speaker 2: up in the US or whether you're growing up in
1:22
Speaker 2: Latin America in Africa. One day you come out of
1:25
Speaker 2: school and basically your parents have decided that you're no
1:29
Speaker 2: longer going back to school, and they're going to marry
1:31
Speaker 2: you off to a man that you haven't chosen, who's
1:34
Speaker 2: often a bit older than you are, and you're basically
1:37
Speaker 2: shipped off to go live with his family. And these
1:40
Speaker 2: girls then often end up being you know, abused, either
1:45
Speaker 2: by their in laws or by their husbands. And also
1:47
Speaker 2: these are girls that often for them, their their wedding
1:51
Speaker 2: night is not a happy event. Their wedding night might
1:54
Speaker 2: be the night when they get pregnant while they are
1:56
Speaker 2: physically children themselves.
2:00
Speaker 3: Talk a little bit about some of the health risks
2:02
Speaker 3: to younger girls who do get pregnant and like what
2:06
Speaker 3: that can do to their bodies or why their bodies
2:08
Speaker 3: are not prepared for that.
2:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, we all remember when we were, you know, teenagers,
2:15
Speaker 2: we might already get our period and things, but we're
2:18
Speaker 2: physically still still children in a way. And so what
2:21
Speaker 2: you see is that teenagers, girls who get pregnant are
2:24
Speaker 2: much more likely to either have complications when they're pregnant
2:27
Speaker 2: or in childbirths. They're more likely to die in childbirths.
2:30
Speaker 2: But also what we see happening is that their babies
2:34
Speaker 2: are much less likely to survive the first year of life.
2:37
Speaker 2: And many of these child brides live in places where
2:40
Speaker 2: you don't have good health services, so if they get complications,
2:43
Speaker 2: they can't go to a hospital or to a clinic
2:45
Speaker 2: to get supported. Can I just ask you how you
2:49
Speaker 2: got it?
2:50
Speaker 1: I know you've worked with Desmond Tutu and Nelson Mandela,
2:53
Speaker 1: and how did you get involved in this work?
2:55
Speaker 2: So I was very lucky, like you say, Chelsea, to
2:58
Speaker 2: work with a group called the Elders, which Nelson Mandela
3:01
Speaker 2: had created, and it's a group of former heads of government,
3:04
Speaker 2: of former UN secretary generals, really eminent individuals, including President
3:09
Speaker 2: Jimmy Carter was a member of this group, and they
3:12
Speaker 2: wanted to work on gender inequality. They were saying that
3:15
Speaker 2: the fact that men and women are not equals is
3:17
Speaker 2: one of the biggest injustices of our times. And not
3:21
Speaker 2: only that, is also kind of stupid because if we
3:23
Speaker 2: want to get out of poverty, women have to play
3:27
Speaker 2: their role. It's often women who lived their families out
3:30
Speaker 2: of poverty. And so they then started looking at like
3:33
Speaker 2: what's happening, And we then came across the issue of
3:36
Speaker 2: child marriage, and the issue of child marriage was it's
3:39
Speaker 2: on the one end, you know, the two words child marriage,
3:41
Speaker 2: say it all and everybody realizes this is not okay.
3:45
Speaker 2: But at the same time, the world was basically not
3:47
Speaker 2: paying attention. And I think that to a large extent
3:50
Speaker 2: and is because these girls, they're minors. They don't often
3:54
Speaker 2: have passports, many of these girls don't speak English. A
3:57
Speaker 2: lot of them in places like Africa Asia don't even
4:00
Speaker 2: have access to mobile phones, and so these girls can't
4:03
Speaker 2: really self organize. They do not realize that what is
4:06
Speaker 2: happening here is actually not normal and that it should stop,
4:11
Speaker 2: and that it's not good for them. If it stops,
4:13
Speaker 2: it's also good for their families.
4:15
Speaker 1: And to be clear, this is a very male problem.
4:18
Speaker 1: It's not like women are looking at young girls and saying,
4:20
Speaker 1: let's marry these girls off.
4:22
Speaker 3: Right, like only men have to be told by the
4:24
Speaker 3: government not to marry actual children.
4:27
Speaker 2: Right. It's often the father's or the community as a
4:30
Speaker 2: whole that drives this. And it's sometimes done because of poverty.
4:34
Speaker 2: You know, if you are really poor in your marry
4:36
Speaker 2: your daughter of you have one less mouth to feet.
4:39
Speaker 2: It's sometimes done because of sexual safety, because the fear
4:42
Speaker 2: that if your daughter isn't married by a certain age,
4:46
Speaker 2: a man might misuse her and then you know, she
4:48
Speaker 2: kind of dishonors herself and the family. It's sometimes done
4:52
Speaker 2: because of tradition. People just think like this is normal,
4:55
Speaker 2: so they keep doing it. And it's always done in
4:57
Speaker 2: a way because girls are looks upon as being less
5:01
Speaker 2: than men and you know, less valuable, and so you
5:05
Speaker 2: can do this with them. And I think, I mean
5:07
Speaker 2: for me one of the So when the elders wanted
5:10
Speaker 2: to take this on, one of the places where I
5:12
Speaker 2: went was to Ethiopia and Africa to learn about this
5:15
Speaker 2: much more, and I'll never forget. At some point I
5:18
Speaker 2: sat down with a group in northern Ethiopia, where four
5:22
Speaker 2: out of every five girls are married once they're eighteen,
5:25
Speaker 2: and I sat down with this group of married girls,
5:28
Speaker 2: young girls, and I asked the girl next to me,
5:30
Speaker 2: how old when you got married? And she looked at
5:34
Speaker 2: me and she said, well, I don't really know because
5:36
Speaker 2: I don't have a birth cert. Difficult, so many girls
5:39
Speaker 2: who get bored, people don't register them because it's oh
5:42
Speaker 2: a girl, we don't need to register her. But she said,
5:45
Speaker 2: I must have been between five and seven years old
5:48
Speaker 2: when I got married. And I was sitting there, and
5:52
Speaker 2: I mean, I still get emotional when I think about it,
5:55
Speaker 2: because at that time my daughters were five and six
5:58
Speaker 2: years old. I realized that even the lottery of life,
6:03
Speaker 2: they have been born there, they would probably have been
6:06
Speaker 2: child rights. And this is one of the things that
6:09
Speaker 2: drives me in everything I do, this idea that it's
6:12
Speaker 2: wrong that the place where you were born, that your
6:15
Speaker 2: geography would define your destiny of life. You know, the
6:18
Speaker 2: opportunities you get. I mean, I strongly, strongly believe that
6:22
Speaker 2: everybody deserves equal opportunities. And that's why I'm so passionate
6:26
Speaker 2: working on this issue.
6:31
Speaker 1: And so your organization is called Vow VOW. Tell us
6:35
Speaker 1: about the moment that you had the idea for VOW
6:37
Speaker 1: at one of your friend's weddings.
6:40
Speaker 2: That's correct. So you know, I've been done for the
6:42
Speaker 2: last fifteen years, been working to end child marriage because yes,
6:46
Speaker 2: an it's a sad problem. But the good news is
6:48
Speaker 2: that there is a lot that we can do in
6:51
Speaker 2: order to actually keep girls in school, to make sure
6:54
Speaker 2: that communities realize that when you give the girls the
6:57
Speaker 2: rights they deserve, you know that that that is could
7:00
Speaker 2: not just that that is good not just for the girls,
7:03
Speaker 2: but for the communities. And so we realized we need
7:06
Speaker 2: to get more money to local organizations communities in Latin America,
7:12
Speaker 2: in Africa and Asia that worked to change this and
7:17
Speaker 2: to mobilize that money. One day, I was going to
7:20
Speaker 2: a wedding of friends, and you know how it goes
7:23
Speaker 2: when you go to a wedding week before and you
7:25
Speaker 2: get the panic what should I wear? You know, and
7:28
Speaker 2: what should I buy for the couple? And so I
7:30
Speaker 2: went to their wedding website and you know, they had
7:33
Speaker 2: like many you know, a wedding list where you know,
7:36
Speaker 2: you can buy china and glass and I don't know what,
7:39
Speaker 2: and they said, or alternatively give money to they had
7:41
Speaker 2: chosen the good calls, and that's for me. It was
7:44
Speaker 2: a light bulb moment. I thought like, wait, what if
7:47
Speaker 2: the moment that people celebrates love under happy circumstances, people
7:52
Speaker 2: who chose each other, and they're like, Okay, yes, I
7:54
Speaker 2: want to share my life with you. What if we
7:57
Speaker 2: turn those moments into fundraising moments to make sure that
8:01
Speaker 2: girls elsewhere in the world can also choose love on
8:04
Speaker 2: their own terms. And so that's where Voul for Girls
8:08
Speaker 2: was born. And of course it's not just only people
8:11
Speaker 2: are getting married who can contribute. I mean basically anybody
8:13
Speaker 2: can contribute to Voul for Girls. And the beauty of
8:16
Speaker 2: it always that one hundred percent of the money we
8:19
Speaker 2: raise goes to the projects on the ground. And I've
8:23
Speaker 2: seen with my own eyes how very small amounts of
8:26
Speaker 2: money can make a huge difference for girls.
8:29
Speaker 3: And I'm curious, you know some of those organizations that
8:32
Speaker 3: are boots on the ground in these various locations, like
8:34
Speaker 3: what are what are some of the things that they're doing?
8:36
Speaker 3: Are they promoting education? Like what are some of the programs?
8:40
Speaker 2: Promoting education is definitely one. Sometimes you know, girls don't
8:44
Speaker 2: go to school because they don't have mentoral hygiene, you know, pats, etc.
8:49
Speaker 2: So sometimes it's an intervention that that helps to keep
8:51
Speaker 2: girls in school, or it is, you know, making sure
8:54
Speaker 2: that the bus fee can be paid so that you know,
8:56
Speaker 2: she doesn't have to walk alone along dangerous roads. A
9:00
Speaker 2: lot of the projects what we see is basically helping girls,
9:03
Speaker 2: bring them together in girls clubs where they learn about
9:06
Speaker 2: their rights. I mean, I've met so many girls who
9:09
Speaker 2: did not realize that they're equal to boys, that they
9:12
Speaker 2: have rights, that they should have choice in life, and
9:15
Speaker 2: that's incredibly empowering for girls. So, you know, I met,
9:19
Speaker 2: for example, these group of girls and they had found
9:21
Speaker 2: out that one of them was going to be married off,
9:24
Speaker 2: and so they then collectively went to the father of
9:26
Speaker 2: the girl who was going to be married off, and
9:28
Speaker 2: they told him about their rights and about that it
9:31
Speaker 2: was wiser to keep the girl in school, and they
9:33
Speaker 2: managed to convince the father that indeed they should keep
9:36
Speaker 2: the girl out of marriage for another couple of years.
9:39
Speaker 2: I've also seen places where they do education around sexuality,
9:44
Speaker 2: helping I mean, I've done too many girls in the
9:47
Speaker 2: world who are told that they should not get pregnant,
9:51
Speaker 2: but who do not know how you get pregnant. And
9:54
Speaker 2: I mean, if you don't know how to avoid pregnancy,
9:57
Speaker 2: of course, then you might end up with with an
10:00
Speaker 2: early pregnancy and then and to being very married off.
10:03
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's working with the fathers, helping them to understand
10:07
Speaker 2: that what might seem the right thing to do is
10:11
Speaker 2: actually not a wise thing to do marrying their daughters off.
10:14
Speaker 2: And then what you see is this spreads like you know, like,
10:17
Speaker 2: I don't know how you say this in English. I'm sorry.
10:20
Speaker 3: It's like spreads like wildfire, basically wildfire.
10:22
Speaker 2: There you go. And so what you see is that
10:24
Speaker 2: you then get entire communities who first where everybody is like,
10:28
Speaker 2: of course, in our community, girls are married by the
10:31
Speaker 2: age of sixteen. They're now like, no, no, no, we
10:34
Speaker 2: do not marry our girls anymore before they're they're sixteen
10:37
Speaker 2: or before they are eighteen. And so they take so
10:39
Speaker 2: much pride in that that's amazing, and that in the
10:41
Speaker 2: end benefits the boys in the men as well.
10:43
Speaker 3: Yeah. I remember a few years ago reading in that
10:45
Speaker 3: book Half the Sky. It was so amazing to me
10:49
Speaker 3: to read that when you invest in women, whether that's
10:52
Speaker 3: education or you know, small loans for businesses or that
10:56
Speaker 3: sort of thing, it benefits the entire community in such
10:59
Speaker 3: a more drastic way than if you invest, just like
11:02
Speaker 3: generally in the community. Because women are reinvesting in their community,
11:05
Speaker 3: they're raising people who are more educated because they have
11:08
Speaker 3: an education, and it like the cycle really continues when
11:11
Speaker 3: you educate and help women and support women.
11:14
Speaker 1: I mean, I think you covered a couple of these questions,
11:17
Speaker 1: but I was wondering if you could share with us
11:19
Speaker 1: some of your like some of the wins that your
11:21
Speaker 1: organization has had. Have you been able to change laws anywhere?
11:26
Speaker 2: So we have seen in the last fifteen years. I
11:30
Speaker 2: think the biggest win is that the issue of child
11:34
Speaker 2: marriage is now widely recognized as a problem. And I
11:38
Speaker 2: think you know, because if you have a problem, but
11:40
Speaker 2: you don't recognize it as a problem, you can't start
11:42
Speaker 2: solving in So I think that, in a way is
11:43
Speaker 2: the biggest win. Then what we have seen is that
11:46
Speaker 2: there are more countries that have now laws that make
11:49
Speaker 2: it very clear eighteen is the minimum age of marriage.
11:52
Speaker 2: We also see more countries that have policies now to say, okay,
11:56
Speaker 2: this is what we're actually going to do in order
11:57
Speaker 2: to keep girls out of marriage, and so worldwide we
12:00
Speaker 2: have seen the decrease worldwide. Before one out of every
12:05
Speaker 2: four girls would get married before eighteen. That has now
12:08
Speaker 2: gone down to one out of five girls, So that
12:11
Speaker 2: is real progress. And if you look at the United States,
12:15
Speaker 2: what is very interesting and I when we started working
12:18
Speaker 2: on this, I hadn't realized that child marriage was also
12:21
Speaker 2: an issue in Europe and in the United States. But
12:25
Speaker 2: you see how sometimes our preconceptions can be completely wrong.
12:29
Speaker 2: What is very interesting that the total number of child
12:32
Speaker 2: prides in the United States is not as big as
12:34
Speaker 2: for example, in India, whereas every year about three million
12:38
Speaker 2: girls get married. I mean in the United States it's
12:40
Speaker 2: much less. It's I believe around twenty five thousand. But
12:44
Speaker 2: what was strange in the United States, until about five
12:47
Speaker 2: or six years ago, in every state you could get
12:51
Speaker 2: married before the age of eighteen, either because there's no
12:54
Speaker 2: minimum law at all, so girls as young as two
12:57
Speaker 2: could get married. Also boys, but it's often the girls
12:59
Speaker 2: that had and stoop or they would have a minimum age,
13:02
Speaker 2: but it wouldn't be eighteen. Let's say fourteen or fifteen,
13:06
Speaker 2: or they would have eighteen as minimum age, but they
13:09
Speaker 2: would say there can be exceptions. If the parents agree
13:11
Speaker 2: or if the judge degrees, then it's okay. And I
13:15
Speaker 2: of course don't get this because we do not trust.
13:18
Speaker 2: In America, young people are not allowed to vote until
13:22
Speaker 2: they're eighteen because apparently we think they're not wise enough
13:24
Speaker 2: to do that. American people, young people are not allowed
13:27
Speaker 2: to drink until they're I think it's eighteen. You know,
13:30
Speaker 2: you're not allowed to twenty one. Yeah, yeah, And so
13:33
Speaker 2: all these things you're considered too young to do them
13:36
Speaker 2: until you're eighteen or even older. But for child marriage
13:40
Speaker 2: it would be okay, that's yeah, doesn't make sense, that's crazy.
13:45
Speaker 1: Thank you for all of the work that you're doing.
13:47
Speaker 1: I mean it's incredible. I mean, to take all of
13:49
Speaker 1: this on, it's so necessary. So how can people can
13:53
Speaker 1: people donate to vow for girls?
13:55
Speaker 2: Absolutely? I mean, look, my experience with all the change
13:58
Speaker 2: making work that I've done my life is that we
14:01
Speaker 2: can all make a difference, but nobody can do it alone.
14:04
Speaker 2: So on this issue, part of what we need is funding.
14:07
Speaker 2: And especially in a time where you know, governments are decreasing,
14:12
Speaker 2: including in the United States. You know, USAID has ceased
14:16
Speaker 2: to exist, So when money is actually is going down
14:19
Speaker 2: for these things, I think we as ordinary humans need
14:24
Speaker 2: to step up and help to make sure that that
14:27
Speaker 2: financing continues to go to these to these young girls.
14:29
Speaker 2: So yes, please give to Vow for Girls, and we
14:34
Speaker 2: make sure that that money really rives with good local
14:37
Speaker 2: organizations that do the work. And the only thing is
14:40
Speaker 2: if you believe that it's important that laws get changed.
14:43
Speaker 2: In the United States, we have now an increasing number
14:47
Speaker 2: of states where laws have been changed to make sure
14:50
Speaker 2: that eighteen is the minimum age of marriage and no exceptions.
14:54
Speaker 2: But that is only I believe in about ten states
14:57
Speaker 2: so far, so I would highly recommend it. If you
15:00
Speaker 2: want to help there, you can also write to your
15:04
Speaker 2: governor or your congressman or woman and urge them to
15:07
Speaker 2: change that. It's an organization in the United States called
15:11
Speaker 2: Unchained at Last that actually does a lot of work
15:14
Speaker 2: and on their website you can find out what is
15:17
Speaker 2: happening in your own state, etc. Wonderful.
15:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll link in the description to Vow for Girls
15:23
Speaker 3: and Unchained as well.
15:24
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, and thank you for being with us today
15:27
Speaker 1: and educating us allah on this.
15:29
Speaker 2: I'm really grateful that you guys are using this International
15:33
Speaker 2: Day of the Girl to highlight this really important issue.
15:37
Speaker 2: And I'm very grateful to everybody who will help to
15:40
Speaker 2: make sure that girls can be girls and not price.
15:43
Speaker 2: That's right. Thanks Maybel, Thanks Maybel, Bye bye bye.
15:47
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