Latest / The Action Catalyst / REMASTERED: Triggers Self-Discipline and Creating Radical Transformation, with Marshall Goldsmith (Leadership, Behavior, Coaching, Change)
Transcript
- 0:00Host: I am honored and excited to introduce to you to literally
- 0:03a man who has been ranked the number one thinker in the world
- 0:06by thinker's. 50 is regularly recognized as the number one
- 0:10executive coach in the world by publications like Inc and Forbes
- 0:13and Harvard Business Review. And he has best selling books. One,
- 0:17I'm sure that many of you have probably heard of What Got You
- 0:20Here Won't Get You There. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Marshall
- 0:24Goldsmith, Marshall, welcome to the show.
- 0:26Marshall Goldsmith: Thank you so much for inviting me.
- 0:28Host: What is a trigger, Marshall? Can you just kind of
- 0:30give us a background on that?
- 0:32Marshall Goldsmith: Yep, a trigger is any stimulus and may
- 0:35impact our behavior? My general theory is almost all of us have
- 0:39a great plan of who we want to be in life. Yet, we don't
- 0:43implement that plan very well, day to day, we're barrage by
- 0:46triggers from our environment that kind of throw us off target
- 0:50in many cases. And that's what the book is about how to deal
- 0:52with these triggers.
- 0:54Host: You made a statement, our environments are willpower
- 0:58reduction machines?
- 1:00Marshall Goldsmith: That's exactly right. We grossly
- 1:02overestimate the importance of willpower in our own willpower
- 1:05capabilities. And we grossly underestimate our need for help.
- 1:09So as we journey through life, I've go through many, many
- 1:12reasons of why we don't achieve the goals that we set. Let me
- 1:16just give you one as an example. years ago, my biggest client was
- 1:19Johnson and Johnson. And I probably one of the few speakers
- 1:23you've ever heard. It's gotten research from 10s of 1000s of
- 1:26people who've been in my courses, and I measure do they
- 1:29do what I teach? And do they achieve positive change over
- 1:33time, I published an article about this called leaders at
- 1:36leadership is a contact sport. So if any of your listeners
- 1:39would like this, send me an email Marshall, Marshall
- 1:42goldsmith.com, or go to my website, and I'll send it so you
- 1:45can see it. 86,000 people and showed if people do the stuff,
- 1:49they get better. They don't not surprisingly, they don't change.
- 1:53Well, I interviewed people at Johnson and Johnson 98% said
- 1:56they would do what I taught a year later 70% have done
- 1:59something that 30% Zero, not even one minute. Which by the
- 2:02way, I'm not ashamed of this, and probably this 70% of 2000
- 2:06people's 1400 People getting evaluated by 10 co workers each.
- 2:09That's a lot of people getting better. Well, I had some people
- 2:13that did nothing. Why you did, why didn't you do anything? And
- 2:16their answer had to do with a dream that sounds like this. I'm
- 2:20incredibly busy right now, live pictures of work and home and
- 2:23new technology that follows me everywhere I feel about as busy
- 2:27as ever have. Sometimes I feel overcommitted. Every now and
- 2:30again, my life feels just a little bit out of control. But
- 2:34you know, I'm working on some very unique and special
- 2:37challenges right now, I think the worst of this is going to be
- 2:40over in about four or five months. And then I'm going to
- 2:43take two or three weeks and get organized and spend some time
- 2:47with the family and begin my new Healthy Life program. And
- 2:50everything's going to be different, and it will not be
- 2:53crazy anymore. Right?
- 2:55Host: One of the dynamics that you bring up, which I thought
- 2:59was interesting is inertia.
- 3:01Marshall Goldsmith: Well, you know, our default reaction life
- 3:03is not to find happiness. Our default reaction life is not to
- 3:07find meaning our default reaction like is inertia, we
- 3:10tend to do have been doing go or have been going say we've been
- 3:13saying in my book, What Got You Here Won't Get You There. That's
- 3:17the premise of the book. You know, if you want to change, you
- 3:20can't just keep doing what you've been doing and expect to
- 3:23get different outcomes. You have to say, How can I change and we
- 3:26fall into a trap that I call the superstition trap, I behave this
- 3:31way I am successful, therefore I must be successful because I
- 3:34behave this way. No, everyone I coach is ridiculously
- 3:38successful. They all be the way they behave. And they're all
- 3:41successful, because they do many things right? In spite of doing
- 3:44some things that don't make any sense. And if we can't challenge
- 3:48ourselves, inertia just kicks in and we just keep doing what
- 3:51we've been doing.
- 3:53Host: You bring up things like avoidance and and actually, the
- 3:56wheel of change, I thought was one of the most memorable things
- 3:59would you mind just kind of given a given an explanation of
- 4:02the the wheel of change, and maybe we could talk through
- 4:05different parts of it.
- 4:06Marshall Goldsmith: Take the concept of change, we could look
- 4:08at the two dimensions positive and negative. And then the other
- 4:12was change or keep. And then we form four quadrants in the wheel
- 4:15of change in the first quadrant is called positive change,
- 4:18creating and if you think about your life, it's very important
- 4:22to say alright, who do I want to become in the future? And what
- 4:25is the positive change in my life that I do want to create
- 4:29positive change. And we don't think about that enough. Most of
- 4:32us spend more time planning our vacation than we do plan in our
- 4:36lives. The second quadrant is called positive keep preserving.
- 4:39And it's very important as we look at the new me that I want
- 4:42to become what is it about the old me that I want to preserve
- 4:46or keep perhaps relationships or good habits or what is it that
- 4:49you don't want to change? What is you want to preserve or keep
- 4:53and you know, I have a home in New York and I see him New York
- 4:56many people get so busy creating in this case particularly well,
- 5:00they forget about preserving things, tell their family. And
- 5:03sometimes what we need to preserve is more important than
- 5:06what we want to create. So both are important, then the third
- 5:09part of the wheel of change is called negative change. And
- 5:13that's a eliminating, hey, what do you want to get rid of? And
- 5:16it's very important because if we keep trying to create or
- 5:19preserve, and we never eliminate, we run out of space.
- 5:22And then we're back into that problem I discussed over
- 5:25constant over commitment. So we consistently say if I'm going to
- 5:29be something different, not just what am I going to put on the
- 5:32plate? What are we going to take off the plate? And then the
- 5:36final part is negative keep which most people have trouble
- 5:39understanding, why would I keep something that's negative? Well,
- 5:42that's called accepting. We're not going to change everything
- 5:46in life. And it's very important to realize what where am I not
- 5:49going to make a difference? Where am I not going to make an
- 5:53investment for change? And Peter Drucker taught me our mission in
- 5:56life is to make a positive difference not to prove how
- 5:59smart we are not prove out right we are, before you deal with any
- 6:03topic ask a question, am I willing at this time to make the
- 6:06investment required to make a positive difference on this
- 6:09topic? The answer is yes. Go for it answer's no, take a deep
- 6:13breath and let it go. So the wheel of change talks about
- 6:16creating, it talks about preserving it talks about
- 6:18eliminating and talks about accepting all four are very
- 6:22important as we plan our journey through life.
- 6:24Host: You've gone through some research here on the difference
- 6:27between active and passive questions, and how they affect
- 6:31our ability to actually catalyze change and overcome
- 6:34circumstances. So you might walk us through that.
- 6:37Marshall Goldsmith: Yeah, I'll start with the daily questions,
- 6:39then getting into specifics of active versus passive questions.
- 6:43I'm now going to share something with your listeners. It takes
- 6:46three minutes today costs absolutely nothing is going to
- 6:50help them get better at almost anything. There's some people
- 6:52who probably skeptical now thinking three minutes at a
- 6:55cost, nothing helped me get better at almost anything.
- 6:57Sounds too good to be true. Half the people start doing this quit
- 7:00within two weeks. And they do not quit because it does not
- 7:04work. They quit because it does work. So I'm going to teach you
- 7:07though, something that's very easy to understand, in theory,
- 7:09very difficult to implement in practice, and then I'll share my
- 7:12own some of my own questions every day. Of here's your
- 7:16homework assignment, get out an Excel spreadsheet. On one
- 7:19column, write down a series of questions that represent what's
- 7:21important in life, friends, family, direct reports,
- 7:24coworkers, whatever it is health, every question must be
- 7:28answered with a yes or no or a number. Yes is recorded as one
- 7:31no is a zero or at number. Seven boxes across one for every day
- 7:35of the week, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,
- 7:37Saturday and Sunday, every day fill it out. Well, at the end of
- 7:40the week, the Excel spreadsheet will give you a report card. I
- 7:43will warn your listeners that advanced report card at the end
- 7:45of the week will not be quite as beautiful. As corporate values
- 7:48plaque that they have stuck up on the wall, you quickly learn
- 7:51life is incredibly easy to talk life is incredibly difficult to
- 7:55live. Well. I'm going to share some of my questions. And mine
- 7:59are not intended to be anybody else is one of my daily
- 8:02questions for example, is I only times yesterday did you try to
- 8:05prove you were right when it wasn't worth it? I'm almost
- 8:07never going zero Well, life kind of hearts, that old professor
- 8:10not to be right all the time. How many angry or destructive
- 8:13comments did you make about people yesterday? How many
- 8:16minutes did you walk? How many push ups? How many sit ups? Did
- 8:18you say or do something nice for your wife, your son, your
- 8:20daughter? How many minutes did you write? My friend Jim Moore
- 8:23does this and he would tell you that saved his life. He didn't
- 8:25kind of save his life or sort of save his life. It did save his
- 8:28life. One of his daily questions is are you currently updated on
- 8:31your physical exam? First 90 days he did this? He said no.
- 8:35Every day, he finally said This is embarrassing. I have to get
- 8:38the stupid exam record asking the question, get stupid exam,
- 8:42what the doctor said you have cancer now that was many years
- 8:45ago is going to be fine. The doctor also said had you waited
- 8:48seven more months who had been debt. He knew he should have
- 8:50gotten a physical exam, but he didn't do it. Well, when you
- 8:53hold a mirror in front of your face every day. It's hard to
- 8:56hide, you realize source most of my problems would be me. Well,
- 9:01my daughter and I, my daughter Kelly is a PhD from Yale. She's
- 9:05a professor of marketing at the Kellogg School. We went over
- 9:08this together and we were talking about the concept of
- 9:10employee engagement. And she said everything about employee
- 9:13engagement is in all passive questions. Do you have clear
- 9:15goals meaningful work? Or do you have a best friend at work? And
- 9:18she said there's nothing wrong with passive questions. The
- 9:21problem is when we ask a passive question, people have a negative
- 9:24response they blame the environment. She's gave me the
- 9:27idea of asking active questions that begin with the phrase Did I
- 9:30do my best to I'm now going to share my first six daily
- 9:34questions, talk about why they're important and then share
- 9:37some of the research about this we've done and invite everyone
- 9:40to participate if they would like to my first six questions
- 9:43Did I do my best to set clear goals? Not did somebody set
- 9:46goals for me? Did I do my best to set my own goals? Number two,
- 9:49did I do my best to make progress toward achieving my
- 9:51goals? Did I do my best to find meaning rather than did someone
- 9:55give me money? Did I do my best to be happy? Did I do my best to
- 9:59build Positive relationships. And finally, did I do my best to
- 10:03be fully engaged? Six basic questions every day? Well, our
- 10:07research on this is pretty amazing. We've done research
- 10:12involving 1000s of people, we fill out these questionnaires
- 10:15every day for 10 days. And what we've found is about 46% of the
- 10:20people 10 days later, Sam bettered everything about 75%
- 10:24said he got better four items out of the six. I think 94% said
- 10:28he got better at something 6% said no change and less 1% say
- 10:33overall, you're worse. Well, it's amazing. These questions
- 10:37get me focused on on what I cannot change. Focus on what I
- 10:41can change. What's the one question life I can't blame on
- 10:44somebody else? Did I do my best?
- 10:48Host: That accountability, that self accountability and having
- 10:51to reconcile that that's why people stopped doing it because
- 10:54it's sort of uncomfortable to have to sit there for 90 days
- 10:56and admit you haven't done the thing?
- 10:58Marshall Goldsmith: Exactly right. I pay a woman and Kate
- 11:00call me on the phone every day, every day. She just listens to
- 11:04me read the questions I wrote, provide the answers I wrote
- 11:07every day. Somebody said why do you pay a woman to call you
- 11:10don't you know that theory about how to change behavior. I wrote
- 11:14the theory about to change behavior pay woman to call me
- 11:17because my name is Marshall Goldsmith. I'm the world's
- 11:20number one ranked executive coach, a paying woman to call me
- 11:24every day. She listens to me read questions I wrote and write
- 11:27answers I wrote every day. Why do I do this? Because I'm too
- 11:30cowardly to do this by myself and too undisciplined to do this
- 11:34by myself. And you know, it's okay. He once we get over that
- 11:37macho willpower, I can do it on my own nonsense. We all need
- 11:41help. It's okay. My book Triggers one thing I'm very
- 11:44proud of 27 major CEOs endorsed that book, these included CEO of
- 11:47the year in the United States, Guy was ranked number three
- 11:50greatest leader in the world winner of the Presidential Medal
- 11:54of Freedom, CEO Pfizer CEO, Best Buy's CEO, target president, the
- 11:57World Bank, on and on and on. Why am I so proud of that? 30
- 12:01years ago, no CEO would admit they have an executive coach,
- 12:04they would have been ashamed to say I need help. Today. These
- 12:07are all bunch of great leaders who stand up on a regular basis
- 12:11and say, I need help. And it's okay.
- 12:13Host: That is a big shift. I do have one more question for you
- 12:15right now, Marshall. But before that, where do you want people
- 12:18to go to connect with you? Where would you point people to?
- 12:20Marshall Goldsmith: One, my website, www My name Marshall
- 12:23goldsmith.com, on LinkedIn on YouTube, I've got you know,
- 12:28hundreds of videos on YouTube, I give away all my material to
- 12:32help other people.
- 12:34Host: So the last thing I wanted to ask you here is the
- 12:37difference between self discipline and self control?
- 12:41Marshall Goldsmith: Well, one is what I do, and the other is kind
- 12:44of what I don't do. And I think it's very important to look at
- 12:47both, for example of what I do could be something like I have
- 12:52the discipline on a regular basis to say something nice to
- 12:55someone. What I don't do is I don't lose control. When I
- 12:59speak. My good friend pres hasslein said, you know, why
- 13:03should I be entrusted to control someone else I can control
- 13:06myself I, one of my daily questions to avoid speaking when
- 13:09angry around controls. So I think both are very, very
- 13:12important. And as we journey through life very important
- 13:16before speaking in Greek, am I willing to at this time to make
- 13:19the effort required to make a positive? Or the investment
- 13:22required to make a positive difference on this topic? If the
- 13:24answer is yes, do it the answer's no. Let it go. We waste
- 13:28so much of our lives, dealing with issues that we're not going
- 13:31to change anyway. I mean, I have a home in New York. One of my
- 13:35neighbors from my condominium was a young woman named Lindsay
- 13:37Lohan. How many millions of hours are wasted around the
- 13:41world people read Lindsay Lohan got drunk Lindsay Lohan got
- 13:44stoned Lindsay Lohan was in a car wreck. Well, you know when
- 13:46people talk about Lindsay Lohan, I always say one thing. If you
- 13:50ever think Lindsay Lohan is a loser, she is not wasting her
- 13:54life reading about you. Well, you know, learning point live
- 13:59your own life. In great life. You know, don't live Lindsay
- 14:02Lohan's life or some movie stars, some celebrity or some
- 14:06politician. live your own life, live your own life.
- 14:09Host: Marshall, thank you so much for your work and just for
- 14:12your incredible clarity and insight into the psyche of what
- 14:16enables people to really take action and make change in their lives.
- 14:20Marshall Goldsmith: Thank you.