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Dr. Justin "Jay" Miller - Self Care · Look Who's Talking

• 0:00
  You are listening to Look Who's Talking. I am Cameron Menter. I am your co-host and the wonderful Jessica Coffey, our executive director. That's our host. What's going on, Jessica?
• 0:28
  I'm your executive director. That's what I was just saying. You just said executive director. Oh. The sharing price. See, don't give me no trouble now. It hasn't been that long. Don't do it. I know it has. It has not been that long. It has not been that long, but it has. It hasn't been that long. What's going on, Jessica? You're acting brand new. I know. Listen, it's been a while. It sure has. We haven't talked about Thanksgiving, Christmas. Yeah, I'm done with that. I'm over that. Let's not bring it up. You know what? I was sick for both of them. Oh, you were?
• 0:57
  Yeah, I got COVID right before Thanksgiving and then right before Christmas I got the flu. Crazy. Just wonderful. Well, I still have my Christmas trees up. Two years. I'm so proud of you because you really wanted to put it up in August. No, it was after Halloween I wanted to put it up.
• 1:21
  Yeah, well, since we really kind of missed the holiday season, I guess that's why ours is still up. So be it. I'm not mad about it. No, she's really ready for it to go down. She's just waiting for me. Are you the person who has to take it down?
• 1:37
  Well, I'm the person that has to help. Got you. Well, you know, nobody's helping me. Right, I know, right? I got to do it by myself. You got to do it. Just get it done. Maybe it'll happen in February. Maybe.
• 1:50
  Right, right, right. Well, I can't keep looking at it because I feel some kind of way. I feel some kind of way. What else has been up with you? I feel like it's been so long. It's the New Year, so I'm just ready for that new. I'm ready for something better.
• 2:07
  You know, is that in your mind? You know, I tell myself we don't have to wait for January 1 to start all over. We can start over today. Amen. So, but it's that goal setting that, you know, that that time of year where you say, look, this is what I wanted to accomplish last year.
• 2:25
  I didn't make it. So this is what I'm gonna get done this year. Right. So do you usually set goals each year? Yes and no. Yes and no. But this year I want to set real goals. Yeah. Right amount. Yeah. Have something to look at and shoot for.
• 2:43
  Each year I bully my friends into setting like goals for the year. Like we have categories and everything. So like January 1, 2nd, we all discuss them. And then usually when it's that person's birthday, we like overview and say, hey, have you accomplished this? I get into it.
• 3:08
  I bet. Yeah. I bet your friends love you. Oh my goodness. They, they absolutely love me. Absolutely. I absolutely get on their nerves. I'm a pusher. I mean, you got to have that one in your circle. Yeah.
• 3:25
  Cause I'm like, um, let's work on these financial goals. Cause you asked to borrow $5 from me and you had still haven't paid me back. So I got to get my sound effects. You starting already. That's what's going on. But yeah, it's that time of year. So, um, I'm looking forward to this year. You know, I'm looking forward to more. Yeah. Just putting my stake on it. You know what I'm saying? You know what my word of the year is? Here we go. Yeah.
• 3:54
  Yesterday. I mean, not yesterday. Last year it was elevation. We was taking it up a notch. This year is manifest. Manifest. Manifest. Okay. Manifest. All the positive things we want. Manifest. We're manifesting. We are accomplishing all of it this year.
• 4:14
  That sounds like a wonderful thing. A wonderful thing. So you set some rigorous goals for yourself though. Right? I did. Because guess what? I'm hard on myself. I know. That's right. Ain't no other way to be. No other way to be. So, um, there's a thing that happened yesterday. What happened? Um, me and Melissa Tibbs were on Good Day Kentucky. Yeah. Talking about the Head Start program. All right. It was exciting, but you know what? When I walked in,
• 4:44
  their studio, I like compared it to ours. See? Stop. Stop. Stop it. I did. And I said, Ooh, their studio is nice, but they ain't got nothing on us. Don't! Look, now don't get us in no trouble because we trying to, we trying to make friends all over the world. But what were you on the television for? What was you talking about? Oh, we were talking about Head Start being a program of excellence. What? Yes. Yay! That is something to talk about.
• 5:13
  You know what? That was like one of our biggest achievements last year. Absolutely. Um, and it was a lot of work, but you know, to be recognized as one of 11. One of 11 nationwide. Yeah. Out of 1600 Head Starts in the country. Yeah. So that was exciting. That's amazing. But you know what? After we came from the studio, I have been working on my voice.
• 5:43
  You know, yeah. Your radio voice. Okay. And? And, um, it's harder than what it sounds. Right. No doubt. You know, cause they were, they were asking us questions and you didn't like the way you sound. Oh, okay. Then after the cameras went off, they went to their regular voices and I said, Oh, hold up. I need to learn this skill. That's like a preacher voice. You know that? Yeah. I've been taught you like that. Then you know, sister.
• 6:11
  On the other day. No, back to you, Cam. Well, let's get some motivation in cause we got a powerful show today. Okay. I think it's time for a coffee break.
• 6:24
  Okay. So for today's coffee break, what I have to say is every twist and turn in life is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself, your interest, your talents, and how to set then achieve goals. Just remember everyone that no matter what your career is, you're going to be able to achieve it.
• 6:51
  Just remember everyone that no matter good or bad, you can turn that thing around and, um, you know, achieve some stuff out of that. You already in my sermon girl. Every opportunity is an opportunity to learn. That's absolutely right. You know, uh, it's funny. I don't want to go too, too spiritual on you, but you know, Joe, he was picked on. He was picked out by God to be picked on. Yeah. That's, that's rough.
• 7:21
  But everything he went through made him who he was. Yeah. And so when we go through things, it's not because, you know, the world just wants to pick on us, but it's growing us. It's, it's, it's making us who we're equipped to be. Yeah. Through all the trials.
• 7:38
  You know what? Every, um, I always say this every in when my parents used to say, I used to roll my eyes, but, um, every, uh, what, what is it? Every lesson is a learned lesson. That, that one, that one.
• 7:57
  So there's, there's opportunity to, to learn from every situation we, we in the best lesson is a learned lesson. There it is. There you got it. That fixed it. Well, that was a wonderful inspiration. I appreciate it. And that was the coffee break from Jessica.
• 8:18
  Coffee. Jessica, who is in the house today? We got a powerful show. Let me get into it. Yes, I am excited and let's get right into it. We have Dr. Justin J. Miller, um, who is a UK Dean of the College of Social Work. Do you want to be called Justin or J?
• 8:38
  J is just fine. J. Okay. You got it.
• 8:40
  Welcome, J. Welcome to the show. We're glad to have you here. I see y'all got a serious situation going on. See, you see, she causing problems going to the networks. I'm not going to argue with it though. I've seen it in some networks and you there.
• 8:55
  We are excited to have you on the show. Um, we will be talking about some self care. Um, you know, that's hard for some of us to do. That's easy for others to do. Um, and I think there is also confusion sometimes because some people are like, well, my self care is sitting on the couch. Is that really self care? I guess it's depending on the person.
• 9:20
  But tell, we want to know a little bit about you. Tell us how you got into the work that you're in.
• 9:26
  Yeah. So, um, you know, I had the distinct privilege, as you mentioned, of serving as the Dean of the College of Social Work at the University of Kentucky. Uh, say it's the best job one could have. Uh, every day I get to go in with great folks and try to make some great change.
• 9:41
  So, um, you know, my story is a long complicated one, but to keep it short, I always say I am a loud, proud foster care alum. So I grew up in, uh, foster care, kinship care. Um, a lot of times I say, uh, my name is Jay and I grew up in foster care and people say, oh, I say, what the hell you on about?
• 10:01
  Fossil care is the best thing that ever happened to me. It's because I know the alternative. Yeah. Um, so, you know, they really shaped and put me on this road to, um, social work. I knew at seven years old that I wanted to be a CPS worker.
• 10:15
  Yeah. Now I can tell you for sure. No one ever in life at seven has said, I want to be a CPS worker. Uh, but because of my own experiences and I'd been through it, I wanted to do it a certain way. Yeah. So, um, that, that is really even today. What drives me is wanting to have some impactful change for folks. And, uh, the self care space is just another and a different way to do that. Right.
• 10:40
  So you said at seven, you knew that you wanted to be a CPS worker. Was there someone in your life who impacted that?
• 10:48
  Well, so, um, you know, I remember it was third grade, Ms. Pro's class. Uh, I get a call to come down to the office. Now that wasn't really an abnormal thing. Uh, I was a bad, a bad kid. Now folks will say, now there's no such thing as a bad kid. Yeah, that's some bad kids.
• 11:05
  But, um, you know, I, I remember walking in and there's this lady standing at this table with this Manila folder and, uh, she says, uh, hi Justin. Now that right there lets me know you don't know me. Nobody that knows me calls me Justin. Okay. Call me Jay. Um, but we sat down and, you know, she starts asking all these questions about things happening in my house.
• 11:30
  Uh, now my mother had died when I was younger. My father had some substance misuse issues and I don't know about y'all, but when I grew up, you don't talk about what's happening inside your house, outside your house.
• 11:45
  So, um, but I do remember there were so many things I wanted to tell this lady about how scared I was or how I had to take care of my younger sisters or how I didn't know, uh, where my father was or when I would see him again. Yeah. Um, and I didn't feel like I had the space to do that.
• 12:05
  I didn't feel like that, um, she had the time to hear that. So I didn't know what it was at the time, but I knew that I wanted to do what she did. I just wanted to do it a different way. And so it was really that experience that kind of put me on the path to say, I can do that.
• 12:23
  And having been there, I know that it needs to happen a certain way.
• 12:27
  Gotcha. Wow. That's incredible.
• 12:29
  That's powerful. That's powerful. So right there is where a whole career started. Indeed. Yes. It's burnt out of your own perm. Oh, yeah. Pain.
• 12:40
  Well, and I think the most important about it is what keeps you going even now. So the days that you're tired and you don't want to look at another thing that sometimes you don't want to talk to another person.
• 12:51
  I reflect back on that and puts me in a space that keep kind of keep keep pressing on. Gotcha. So tell us a little bit about the evolution of your career. So, you know, did you start? Where did you start?
• 13:04
  So I guess I'll start in the CPS space. So went to college, graduate college, you know, I get there and I say I want to major in CPS, right? And that's not a thing. But that's how committed I was. I was going to major in CPS.
• 13:21
  And so I got to the social workspace, went through and again, day one out of school, I had a plan and I was not deviating from that plan. Yeah. And so ended up going to work at a CPS.
• 13:35
  And because I had been there, because I had my own personal experience, I was going to do the work a certain way. So I would go in early, I would stay late.
• 13:46
  There was a thing that we used to have where you could come in during the day, and then you could stay and do this night p.m. assessment kind of thing is what they would call it.
• 13:55
  So from from nine to five, I would be in the daytime part of the job and doing the CPS work. And then at five, I would leave and go upstairs and do the nighttime.
• 14:04
  And sometimes I sleep in the office and wake up and start all again because I wanted to do the work a certain way. And you could not convince me that I was not going to save all the kids. That was my thing.
• 14:17
  And so month after month, year after year, you porn yourself into it. And I was an investigator, which meant I would go out and investigate.
• 14:27
  I would often knock on the doors and go into the places. And on occasion, I had to remove kids. And I had always committed to myself that I would never leave a kid in a place that I didn't feel comfortable with.
• 14:43
  And so I was the type I'd go out and I'd have to remove a kid and I'd go to a foster home. And if it didn't feel right to me, I'd call my folks to help me to find me another foster home.
• 14:54
  I'd take a kid somewhere else. And did that, did that. Months and months, years and years went on. And I remember the day I took a kid. I remember his name. I remember what it looks like.
• 15:09
  I came to this house, foster home, and I didn't feel good about it. It wasn't a good match and I already knew it. But I left the kid anyway. And it was at that moment that I realized I'd hit this place of I was burned out and jaded and I'd seen too many of them.
• 15:33
  And I knew that if that could happen to me, because I had been there and remember I'm saving all the kids, that's what I'm doing, that it could happen to anybody. And it kind of got me into this reframed space of where I asked myself one day, you know, if I really, really want to help these kids and families, maybe I should focus on the people working with them.
• 15:58
  Maybe I should focus on trying to ensure that those folks are well and are taking care of themselves and are not burned out and are not jaded. And that's really what kind of put me on this whole path to this self-care thing. I always say I joke, I'm a foster care child welfare researcher. That's what I do. That's what I write about.
• 16:16
  And I kind of got into this self-care stuff and I've been trying to run away from it ever since. But I can't because you see and you realize it's the thing that transcends all the spaces. If you are not well, I don't care what you tell yourself. If you are not well, you are not giving the best of yourself to anybody or anything.
• 16:35
  And so if we can get to a space where we're focused on our teachers or our social workers or our nurses or whoever it may be, and we're ensuring that they feel good about what they're doing, they're supported in what they're doing, then they'll be able to do good work.
• 16:51
  Good deal.
• 16:52
  Well, we're going to take a quick commercial break. That's a great segue into some self-care for ourselves. You are listening to Look Who's Talking. We'll be right back.
• 17:10
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• 19:10
  You are listening to Look Who's Talking, and we are talking with UK College of Social Worker Dean, Mr. Dr. Jay Miller.
• 19:35
  There it is. Thank you, thank you. Happy to be here. So we're going to talk about some different things that are going to help us not get burned out. Now, you talked about CPS and a lot of things that we do work with families and work with those same type of things where we're looking at and seeing things that we may need to deal with, and we don't want to miss out. We don't want to get burned out. So, man, help us out.
• 20:03
  Well, you know what? Because it's trauma. Well, yeah, and I think that the most important thing to understand, kind of the starting point in all this is kind of realizing and recognizing that those in helping professions is kind of how we term it. It's an umbrella term that encapsulates all these folks you're talking about.
• 20:24
  And you start thinking, well, why would that be? Well, for a lot of different reasons. Number one, you're dealing with things every single day, and you're in these spaces where you kind of experience this vicarious trauma, where you take on the trauma of kids that you may deal with or parent situations that you may deal with.
• 20:53
  There's a stress. We know that a lot of social service education spaces, they're strapped. They're strained. The resources aren't always there. You're trying to make do. And in the helping professions, we're kind of socialized to think that way.
• 21:10
  I remember out of school, before going to the week before I went to go work in the CPS space, I call myself taking this job at a private child welfare agency. And again, I worked there about four days.
• 21:29
  But I go in there on day one, and you know, again, I got my mission. I'm saving these kids and I'm working and I'm working. I'm putting in these new processes and all these things. Day two, I'm working. I'm putting in these new processes and all these things. Day three, same thing.
• 21:47
  And so I go to my supervisor and I say, ma'am, I need a raise. I like it. What? Again, green, right? Like fresh out of school, going in there and talking about I need a raise. But I did. And she looked at me as clear as day.
• 22:02
  And she said, honey, you don't need a raise. You're doing God's work. Go! And that's what we're socialized to think that, well, you'll get yours later. You're doing good work, but you can't eat good work. Good work doesn't always pay bills.
• 22:22
  And so, you know, we are putting these spaces where we got to make do, or at least we think that we do. And there's a value placed on the work sometimes, or lack of value.
• 22:33
  And all those things, you know, kind of singularly and collectively contribute to what can be a very stressful, difficult work environment.
• 22:43
  And so because helping professionals are at this increased risk, we have to be more in tune with the concept of self-care and then understand how it impacts our work, if we are engaging in it or not.
• 22:59
  Absolutely. So, help us out. What are some, okay, here's a question I have. What are some signs of burnout?
• 23:08
  Well, okay, so there are all kinds of signs and symptoms. Let's go. Have you ever been around somebody so long that they yawn and you get mad?
• 23:25
  Or like they breathe hard and like, why are you breathing so hard?
• 23:29
  Or I didn't know that there was a thing where people like walk hard, you know, where you hear, you're speaking Jesus.
• 23:39
  Where and when he sings, break up with him.
• 23:42
  Break up.
• 23:44
  I hear you choing.
• 23:46
  Yes. And you look around like, well, you shouldn't be that mad, maybe. But, right, so you're in these spaces where you're highly agitated. You don't think about the work the same.
• 24:01
  You don't care the same. There are physical symptoms. You look tired. You feel tired. You're irritable.
• 24:09
  And a lot of times you think nobody knows or you think you can, you know, you're mission driven. You're mission driven. So, it's all about everybody else. I need to help everybody else.
• 24:21
  So, you know, understanding when you get to a space where you don't think about the work the same way or, you know, I always say you need some critical friends and you need some keep it real friends.
• 24:34
  So that folks can know if you see me struggling, helping me realize that. Because, again, we're socialized to be these, I cannot stand this concept of superheroes.
• 24:48
  No, we're not. We're human like everybody else. If I see another sign, I hope you don't have any here. Heroes work here.
• 24:56
  Again, it goes back to this socialization that we should just put up and deal with stuff. And so, you know, you see the burnout, compassion fatigue, the vicarious trauma, the stress, all of these emotional indicators, these behavioral indicators, physical indicators.
• 25:17
  You know, they all look similar. And I think a lot of times we can convince ourselves that we're not there or we feel guilty about being there.
• 25:28
  The second step, once you kind of realize, you know, the importance of why you need to deal with self care and engage in self care is understanding that it is complex.
• 25:44
  We see all these things. We live in this consumeristic self care society where we see all these things that make us think if I go buy that thing, I'm going to be self cared up.
• 25:56
  And self care is complex. It's a science. There's many nuances to it. And if we're fooled into thinking it's simple, we're just fooled.
• 26:09
  And so once you recognize the burnout piece, it's kind of this three step process where, all right, number one, you got to kind of grapple with what self care is.
• 26:22
  Right. And everywhere I go, people ask me, well, can't you just tell me what to do for self care?
• 26:29
  And I say, no, I can't. Self care is about how to do, not what to do. And for example, if you go to the gym, you crossfit.
• 26:44
  I lift weights. You do. You change that.
• 26:49
  What? You get into spaces where if I say lifting weights is self care and I say, do you lift weights and you say no, and I say you don't practice self care.
• 27:00
  That's not quite true. Lifting weights is a self care practice. Mindfulness is a self care practice. Yoga is a self care practice.
• 27:10
  And so the first thing you have to realize is called self care for a reason. There's a subjective self there. And only you can define what your self care is.
• 27:19
  So if if going to the gym, if that's not your thing, then then you read a book reading, reading about your thing, then you guard.
• 27:27
  You know, you got to kind of feel around and find what's for you and what's going to work for your self care. You cannot let someone else define it for you.
• 27:36
  I think that's often a challenge in a lot of organizations where we roll out a wellness.
• 27:42
  We give you, you know, here's a gym membership and this and that. I had a lady one time. She lived in Eastern Kentucky.
• 27:48
  She said, do you know how far I have to drive to get to a gym? Like that was not health care. That was not self care to her at all.
• 27:54
  Yeah. So, you know, understanding, recognizing that no one can define your self care, but you. Right.
• 28:01
  So it is whatever you say it is now. You do have to be careful.
• 28:07
  There's a thing I call pernicious practices just because it soothes you does not make it self care.
• 28:14
  Come on. We we we get into these spaces where like, oh, that that felt good. Yeah, it did for that moment, but it is not self care.
• 28:23
  You got folks you do Amazon. You order stuff off Amazon Prime members.
• 28:29
  Yeah. OK. You know, you pull up to your house and you see these Amazon packages, but you don't remember what they are.
• 28:35
  I didn't need those. Right. Like they got that. What they call it. There's a term retail therapy.
• 28:42
  That's all good if you got money in your account. That's all good. But I practice food there.
• 28:50
  That could be great unless you eat a certain kind of food every day. Right. And in the mind is a powerful thing.
• 28:59
  It will fool you into thinking that that's good for me. Relationships.
• 29:03
  Some folks are relationships that that's not good for you. That soothes you. But do not mistake that for being your self care.
• 29:09
  Yeah. So we got to understand that there are pernicious practices that you just kind of got to work yourself out of.
• 29:16
  And if it makes you feel good, doesn't mean you should keep doing it. Yeah.
• 29:20
  So recognizing what self care is and what it isn't.
• 29:25
  Number two, get into a spot where you're plan for on the opening.
• 29:30
  I know you are talking about New Year's resolutions. Right.
• 29:35
  And their goals, not resolutions, goals, resolutions.
• 29:41
  I hear you. What I what I would say is we don't need to wait for the New Year. Yeah.
• 29:46
  And again, we get back to the mind like how many times January rolls around. You get your plan. You sit down.
• 29:52
  You go to that mirror in your bedroom. You say this year I'm doing this and this and this. And you are motivated.
• 29:59
  In February, you're a little shaky, but you go and you say I'm doing this and this and this. Yeah.
• 30:04
  And then March comes like, oh, forget it. I'm gonna do it next year. Right.
• 30:08
  So getting into understanding that self care is not this ancillary secondary thing.
• 30:14
  It has to be embedded. It's it's a way of being in the world.
• 30:20
  So it's it's everything you do from parking a little further to walk in and taking your breaks.
• 30:26
  There was an organization I worked with and a guy he would take his truck and pull it around and just kind of park it out and look over a field two times a day for 15 minutes every single time.
• 30:37
  And we thought it was the craziest thing for him to do that.
• 30:40
  But that is what kept him going. And that was his self care. And he had a plan to do that far too many times.
• 30:49
  We get in these spots and because we don't have critical friends, we end up with these very unrealistic plans.
• 30:56
  I work with folks and they'll put together a self care plan. It'll say I'm going to run a marathon this year.
• 31:01
  I'm like, great. I'm a runner. That sounds awesome. When is this marathon? Next month.
• 31:08
  All right. Do you run now? No. Have you ever ran before? No.
• 31:14
  Well, no, we're not going to do this. I'm not going to. You know, we got to work this through.
• 31:18
  So we were talking about words early word for the word.
• 31:23
  This year's incrementalism, meaning we don't need to take it all at one time. That's right. We're going to pace it down. We're going to walk into a realistic plan.
• 31:31
  So if going to the gym is part of your plan, maybe you need to have a gym membership to do that. Right.
• 31:36
  Like we got to plan this thing out. So once you get your plan, you got to have your evaluation assessment, your critical friends, your friends.
• 31:44
  I always say you have to have somebody who tells you what it is and somebody who tells you what it ain't.
• 31:49
  I know my head start, but I don't want to offend anybody. But ain't is a powerful word. So you got to know what it ain't.
• 31:56
  I hear ain't all that. I ain't going to do that. I bet you will.
• 32:01
  But, you know, that assessment piece, like understanding what's not working for you, understanding that, you know,
• 32:11
  self care is a place where you got to you got to poke around and try and feel and see what feels good, what works, what's sustainable.
• 32:19
  I have a question. So, you know, I'm thinking in my head, I'm thinking about burnout revival.
• 32:25
  Either you're going to do self care and you're going to be revived back to the point where, hey, this is where I want to be.
• 32:34
  But there are times where people how can a person identify, you know, through burnout? Is this for me?
• 32:43
  Is what? Like say, say the activity, a job or OK.
• 32:48
  So so I think number one, let's let's I say self care is both prevention and intervention.
• 32:57
  You ever wonder, like, why does something have to be wrong before we decide to take some action?
• 33:00
  Like maybe if we took the action before, the thing would have never been wrong. Exactly.
• 33:04
  So it's almost self care helps you build up these protective factors that will allow you to manage in spaces that might not be ideal.
• 33:14
  Organizational wellness and self care are two different things.
• 33:18
  Now, self care is not something that helps you put up with a bad workspace. Right.
• 33:24
  You those you can't let someone else tell you how you're going to take care of you.
• 33:30
  And far too many times what tends to happen is people think that wellness is the organization's responsibility to bestow upon me.
• 33:39
  Good luck waiting for that to happen in some places. Right.
• 33:42
  So knowing that you control what you control and it doesn't excuse organizations.
• 33:47
  Yes, organizations should be intentional. They should be explicit about the care of their employees. Period. Full stop.
• 33:55
  But while that is happening, you need to be mindful of your self care and view it as prevention.
• 34:03
  So if you if you have a tricky work situation, self care can help you deal with that and intervention.
• 34:09
  Once something happens, I can respond differently. And that can be self care.
• 34:14
  And sometimes self care is realizing that that job isn't for me.
• 34:18
  Yeah, I don't I don't vibe with that supervisor in the way I thought I need to do something different.
• 34:23
  And that is perfectly fine. Right.
• 34:26
  So getting to a spot where again, we have to realize that it's not always about what we do.
• 34:31
  Sometimes it's about what we choose to not do or where we choose to not be.
• 34:36
  That's awesome. Dr. J. It's time went by quick.
• 34:40
  I mean, you know, I'm a little bit like, oh, I'm a little bit now.
• 34:45
  Right. I got it.
• 34:48
  Dr. J. We're so glad that you were here on the show today. We really appreciate it.
• 34:52
  I'm glad to get you back. Yeah. Yeah. I got a fun situation.
• 34:56
  I would I just want to hang out over here all the time.
• 34:58
  There you go. Come on over in the hood.
• 35:02
  All right. You are listening to Look Who's Talking. Tell a friend. Share the show.
• 35:07
  We'll be back when we're back.