Latest / Birthright: Physiological Birth Stories / Diandra's Story | 4 Freebirths Full of Faith and Wisdom | Giving Birth at 43 weeks + 36 weeks!
Transcript
- Taylor: Welcome back to Birthright, a podcast where we share real stories of physiological birth and the women who experience them. Today I'm excited to share my conversation with DeAndra, a mother of four who has experienced four free births for each of her children. In this episode, DeAndra shares about her pregnancies and her experiences giving birth outside the traditional medical system. And the role that faith has played throughout her journey. We talk about preparing our minds and hearts for birth, leaning on scripture in moments of fear, and learning to walk into these experiences with trust. I also want to invite more women to share their birth stories on birthright. I believe every birth story has something worth sharing and I would love to hear yours. If you're interested in being a guest on the podcast, I've included a link in the show notes where you can fill out a short form and tell me a little bit about yourself and your birth experience. now let's get into my conversation with D'Angra. Taylor Gipson: D'Andre, welcome to the show. Diandra Lothman: Thank you so much for having me. Taylor Gipson: You're welcome. I am honestly so excited to interview you. because you are a woman who has had all of your births be free births and four of them be free births. So I'm Diandra Lothman: Yes. Taylor Gipson: very happy to get to know your story and who you were as a woman before you became a mom and then get into your free births and your stories however you see fit. Diandra Lothman: Yeah, so So yeah, before I gave birth, man, I was a completely different person, I feel like before my first birth. I feel like it changed the way I view everything, the way I view clothing and food and just lifestyle and everything. I once I had kids, I'm like, okay, what's the ingredients in here? Okay, what's the ingredients in my clothes or the clothes that we're putting on baby? Everything changed really. Taylor Gipson: Mm. Yeah. Same. Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: so how did you go into your first free birth? Like how how does that happen? Especially just because we live in a society where most people don't even know about it, know that it exists or like what were your thoughts going into it? How does how does that start out for you? Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Okay, so I'm actually currently sitting in my grandma-in-law's bedroom because she's staying with my kids right now. But she's a midwife and Taylor Gipson: Okay. Diandra Lothman: she's a retired midwife. So when I got pregnant for the first time, my husband's family were like all home birthed. my husband got to witness a lot of his cousins being born. So was very grateful for just the calmness around birth and his family and the way that they viewed birth, it was so normal. Whereas in my family, I was like hospital, everybody's hospital births, more naturally minded too, but in the hospital. And so I never really knew what I wanted for my first birth. I was like, my mom did it this way, my husband's mom did it this way. What do I want? And so I started seeing my grandma. My first pregnancy. We were living in Portland, Oregon. We I had just gotten married, got pregnant, started seeing my grandma, but also started seeing an OB at Kaiser permanente in the hospital because I still wasn't sure, like, okay, which which route do I want to go? I was very Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: holistically minded at this point. I feel like my my mom raised us more crunchy, so to speak. So I was kind of dabbling in both. Like, which one do I see fit for me? And I just remember the experience of seeing a midwife, my grandma. It was so intentional, it was so long the appointments were not rushed it was so peaceful and like calm and then when I would go to the hospital for my op checkups it was just fast no nothing about diet nothing about this is what you do to prepare like just this is the test that you need this is this is how it is like this is the this is the drink that you're gonna drink and this is what you're gonna do and not really much in information, and so I felt like, okay, I think I want to drop the the hospital birth situation and just continue doing on with the home birth. And then I think it was about six months into my pregnancy, we moved back home to Oahu. This was during COVID. My husband kind of lost his job here. We had a little bit more opportunities where my family is on Oahu. So my husband had a job there. So he moved over there. And I found some midwives there on Oahu. And they were great. They were amazing. However, when I started approaching 40 weeks, we did a lot of different things to get, you know, my body into labor. We did black and blue kohosh. I did chiropractors. I did acupuncture. I just did so many things. There was this really, really steep hill that I would hike like every night. It was like The most inclined hill Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: on Oahu that you could find. And I would walk that every night with my husband, Taylor Gipson: my gosh. Diandra Lothman: trying to get this pregnancy going. And I remember I was 42 weeks and three days when my midwife's kind of told me we're not really able to continue seeing you. I did a few like non-stress tests with a doctor in the hospital just to make sure everything was okay. And I was like, Look, see everything's fine, a baby will just come. And so they just I think with liability issues, with you know, the government there on Oahu is very strict with midwives. And so I think just liability-wise, they just kind of had to release me and they said you can go see a doctor in the hospital. And I remember just sitting with my husband after reading this release email, and I was like, wow, like What are we gonna do? And so I just remember Taylor Gipson: Yeah. Diandra Lothman: praying with him. And I was like, Lord, I just have this extreme amount of peace over this pregnancy. Like, I genuinely feel like everything's perfect. And that we kept saying, like, baby will come in God's perfect timing. And that's kind of where the his my son, my firstborn son's name is Kairos. In Hebrew, it means God's appointed purpose and or God's fulfilled purpose in his appointed time. And so we felt like that was so fitting for his name because we ended up giving birth at home without any midwives, without anybody. It was just me and him. And I had my grandma Taylor Gipson: Wow. Diandra Lothman: throughout my last weeks of pregnancy, like asking her all these different questions. I'm reading all these different books. I read Ena Mae Gaskin's, Spiritual midwifery book that had so much good information from a midwife's perspective. So I felt very confident, very comfortable. I just had this like unexplainable piece from the Lord about this. And so we give birth at home. It was amazing. And I was like, yeah, I think I'm gonna do this every time. It was so like Holy Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: Spirit-led and so intuitive. And I was like, yeah, this is my dream birth. I think I wanna just rebirth from now on. Taylor Gipson: Wow, that's that's so amazing. Like sometimes we feel, you know, in those situations, because almost all of my pregnancies something's happened to propel me into each birth like going further, you know? Diandra Lothman: Yes. Taylor Gipson: And to have that on your first, I feel like that's really amazing. I I'm grateful for my experiences, but a part of me was like, I wish I could have had all of them just free birth. I loved my midwife's too, but mm-hmm. Yeah. Diandra Lothman: Yeah. You live and you learn. That's for sure. I definitely have a big appreciation for midwives. I think I get a lot Taylor Gipson: yeah. Diandra Lothman: of time, like a question is, well, don't you like like midwives? And I'm like, I love midwives. They're great. I honestly think they're Taylor Gipson: Yes, yeah. Diandra Lothman: doing the Lord's work, truly. But I don't know. I just had such a great Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: experience the first time where I was like, Yeah, I think I love like Jesus being my midwife. Taylor Gipson: That's how like I was gonna say too, you just also have less pressure. Like you said, once you start approaching that time, because I had a midwife, I actually was in Israel with my fourth baby. and in my second trimester, she told me that if my baby was over nine pounds, that she wasn't gonna be able to deliver it. And so my husband's like, All of our babies have been over nine pounds, and I'm like we just have to go. We can't stay here. Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: there's nothing else that we can do and yeah, just how I don't know, I think it's interesting how things always work out. Diandra Lothman: So you ended up free birthing with your four because of that? Wow. Taylor Gipson: And yes. My other Yep. Yeah. And it was Diandra Lothman: That's awesome. Taylor Gipson: interesting 'cause with my third she was born in Israel. We were there two different times. And She was born there with a midwife, but when we went back to Israel, that midwife was out of the country. And then Diandra Lothman: Mm. Taylor Gipson: the midwife that helped deliver my second son, with my first home birth, we came back and she was gone out of the country. So I'm like, at this point, I don't feel like it's my choice. And Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: I just really leaned into it. But Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: yeah, so If you want, do you wanna tell all of your birth stories or were they all similar or how does that work out for you? Diandra Lothman: So they were all very different, but very similar. it's funny the way that is. But yeah, Taylor Gipson: huh. Diandra Lothman: so my first baby was the only one who was born during the day, which is so funny. The rest of them were in the middle of the night. So with my first, I remember I was kind Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: of contracting all night. I was like, okay, this is happening soon because these are contractions. And I would time them. They would be kind of far apart. And I just kept trying to like rest, sleep it off. Until I couldn't sleep any longer. And so once the sun rose, I ate breakfast. And then I was like, okay, wow, these contractions are really starting to get more intense, more close together. And I just like went to my room, started laboring, and my water had broken outside of the tub, outside of just it just broke right there on the floor. And it's funny because each of my births, my water breaking has been so different. I think that's the most different part about all of them. Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: And yeah, so my water broke and like two hours later, I was birthing in the tub and baby just came like so quickly. I just remember it I remember this first birth was the most intense, I would say. I think it was just my body's Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: first time, like I just remember even my recovery was a little bit more intense. He was also my biggest baby. He was eight pounds, nine ounces, biggest baby of all four of mine. And yeah, it was it was an incredible experience. I remember just feeling everything for the first time. You're like, like this is what this feels like. Like this is what a baby coming down your birth canal feels like, and what pushing feels like. I remember The one thing I wanted to do different after my first was really just relax and breathe the next child out. Instead, I kind of just pushed just to push. And I just didn't really, yeah. I I guess I was just like, okay, I feel like baby's coming. I'm just gonna push. And so I I feel like that actually is why my recovery was a little bit harder. I never tore with Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: any of my four, but it was definitely the hardest recovery the first time. And then I know I thank God. Yeah. Taylor Gipson: That's a blessing. Not tearing. Diandra Lothman: Praise God. I did a lot of like Arnica oil every single day from chest to behind every day. And I heard that was really good for helping your skin with elasticity. And so I was doing that and I honestly think that was a really huge part of it. And then also just like when I did push out I was Pushing very slowly and intentionally. But still, I Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: just wanted to like my next birth, I was like, okay, I want to just breathe the baby out. Like, I don't even want to push. And so I'll go into my second birth. My second birth, it was the day of my baby shower. I was 36 weeks. Yeah. I was at my Taylor Gipson: wow. Diandra Lothman: baby shower from like 10 a.m. We were setting up. And I just remember going to the bathroom and I see the bloody show. It was my first ever bloody show. I could see my mucus plug with bloody show. And I'm like, right here, right now? Like okay. And so I I remember I just went back downstairs with all my girlfriends and my mom and my family's all there. We're all celebrating baby and I'm just like slowly throughout the night, like just having good time. It was a lot of oxytocin going on. And I just remember My contractions were starting to come as I was like taking photos with all my friends. And it was honestly, I I loved that. I loved like laboring. Taylor Gipson: I bet that was helpful. Diandra Lothman: Yeah, I actually people always think I'm so insane for saying like I actually love laboring, like having fun. And like it was just so funny. And so I remember like we we wrapped up the night. I'm still contracting. And on my way home, it was like an hour ride home because we lived on the west side of Oahu. And I just remember it was like the longest ride ever. I just remember breathing slowly through my contractions. Me and my husband were kind of laughing together, like, of course it's tonight, like of course it's tonight Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: of the baby shower. All my friends were so concerned, and I was like, it's fine. I have an auntie who lives like right down the corner. So like from where our baby shower was, I was like, it's fine. If anything, I'll just go up to her bathtub. Like it's fine. Everyone's like, you're crazy. I'm like, this is fine. this is so natural. And so Taylor Gipson: Right. Diandra Lothman: I remember like that labor. So with my first, I should mention, with with my labor, I just remember a lot of bearing down, a lot of like rocking, a lot of like just in my bed trying to breathe. and then with my second, I was like, every contraction, I was Pacewalking all around my house. I felt like I wanted to climb up a mountain. And it was Taylor Gipson: my gosh. Diandra Lothman: so different from my first. And then it was like the middle of the night. My husband was exhausted. So, like, from just baby shower stuff and building things and putting things together. And the night before, Taylor Gipson: Ha ha ha. Diandra Lothman: we both didn't really get much rest. And so it was funny because he was like sleeping most of my labor, but I felt totally. Okay with that. I don't know why I felt like laboring alone was what I needed. And it was so interesting. I was just like pacing around my house, like just just like every contraction, just speed walking it off and like so funny. And then I gave birth to my son at four something in the morning, I believe. And he was Taylor Gipson: Wow. Diandra Lothman: a surprise Down syndrome diagnosis. I had no idea. I did get a 20-week ultrasound anatomy scan. No detection of it. I still didn't really know if he had Down syndrome when he was born, but I had my mom did come up to me like very gently and very like lovingly, and she's like, you know, I could be wrong, but I just have a I just think he might have Down syndrome. And I was like, huh? No way. I was like, look at him. Taylor Gipson: Hehehe Diandra Lothman: ha I don't know. I didn't see it at all. But she was definitely right. so I had a midwife come after I had given birth and did like all the tests, like the apgar, and I had a feeling. So I Taylor Gipson: Mm. Diandra Lothman: asked her, like, does he does he look like he does? And she was like, Well, let me check his heart, make sure his heart's doing good because 50% of kids with Down syndrome typically have a heart defect or a hole in their heart or something. And she said his heart has a little bit of a murmur. So the next day, this was like the first time I the first and only time that I left my labor room or my bed to get up and go somewhere. But we felt like it was necessary to go and get an ultrasound on his heart just to make sure. So we did Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: and everything was perfect. He was completely perfect. And it's funny because I remember I so throughout each of my pregnancies, each week I really pray each each week of whatever's developing in my baby. I will specifically pray over that thing that's developing. Like Lord please help this child's heart to be perfect. Help this week that baby's development is perfect. And I honestly me and my husband both were like, I think our prayers Really, God was really listening because like that's just an incredible miracle. So yeah. And then my water bag actually Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah. That's beautiful. Diandra Lothman: never broke with that one. So he came out and like as he was coming out, then the water bag broke. And so that was very different from my first. Yeah. Taylor Gipson: Yeah, that is interesting. Diandra Lothman: Yeah. And then my third, I remember just I didn't even realize it, but I was laboring all day at the beach. I wasn't even I have I my I noticed my belly drop, but I wasn't feeling any kind of labor or anything. no contractions. I was just having like the best day ever at the beach. And then we get home, I make dinner, we're sitting down on my couch. I think it's like 7:30. And my water had broken before any contractions or labor or anything starts. And that was very different too. Cause with my first, it was like contraction started, then water bag breaks, and then baby's born. Second, it was like contractions, birth, and then water bag breaks as I'm giving birth. And then my third, it's like no labor, water bag breaks. And then I'm waiting, waiting, waiting. And then at 12 o'clock at night, I can feel my contractions starting to pick up. And I'm just laboring, I'm praying, like just really, really having a peaceful time. And I remember telling my husband at like 2 a.m. like, hey, let's get the birthtub filled. And by like 4 30 in the morning, she was born. She was my first and only girl so far. And yeah. So that Taylor Gipson: So Diandra Lothman: was I think that was my fastest birth. It was just four hours of labor. And yeah, she just came out so perfectly and easily. And it was just so great. And then my Taylor Gipson: How long really quick, sorry, how long was Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: your water broke? Like how long? Like when it first broke to when Diandra Lothman: Yeah, so Taylor Gipson: you started getting contractions? Diandra Lothman: Let's see. seven to eight, eight to nine, eight to ten, ten to eleven, love to twelve, five hours. Taylor Gipson: Okay. Were you nervous at all? 'Cause Diandra Lothman: Yeah, fast almost. Taylor Gipson: I I know some people like think that's such a big deal. Personally that's never happened to me, so I don't know how I would feel but Diandra Lothman: Yeah, no, I wasn't nervous. I wasn't nervous. I was just like, huh, this is different. I was just like, this Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: is different. I wonder like when labor's gonna start. I remember my water broke and my husband just started. He was the nester. He was like cleaning everything and getting everything ready. And I was like, that is so interesting that my water broke and nothing, like, you know, just so weird compared to my other experiences. Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: But no, I don't think I ever really let myself get nervous or fearful. I think I that's when I really start to pull up my pick up my Bible and read and then it's gone. the fear is Taylor Gipson: Right, yeah. Diandra Lothman: so. Taylor Gipson: the best reminder. Diandra Lothman: Yes, it really is. And then my fourth birth, It was here in Oregon. It was my first birth here since we've moved back. And I remember I had just finished eating dinner again, and I can feel like tonight is the night just based off of his position. And I started getting like period cramps. Usually that's how my labors start with period cramps. And I just remember like, okay, this is so exciting. Like, what's inside? I also waited for every birth to see like what I'm gonna have. I'm like, who Taylor Gipson: that's awesome. Diandra Lothman: are you inside there? And so I was just like getting so excited to meet him. And so I should also mention my first was 43 weeks, I believe, and two days. My but I'm not sure how accurate that is. I wasn't really sure Taylor Gipson: Right. Diandra Lothman: what I conceived. And then my Taylor Gipson: Yeah. Diandra Lothman: s my second baby was 36 weeks because I did know when I conceived. but typically with Down syndrome, they do come a little bit earlier. And then my third was at thir forty weeks, 41 weeks. And then my fourth came I think also at 41 weeks. So I tend to go over a little bit naturally. Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: And yeah, so I was eating dinner. my mom and my sisters, my little sisters, flew in from Oahu to be there. And we were all just hanging out, having a good time. My husband had set up the birth pool, and I just remember just every time I had a contraction, I just would breathe super, super slowly. And in my mind, I would just count to 20. I don't know. That just really helped me. I just would take a deep breath through each contraction and I would count to 20 within that one breath. And I really just labored so peacefully and like really relaxed. Really, really relaxed. And I only labored for four hours. I got into the birth pool. And this time was the one birth where my kids actually were a part of it. Cause they were a little bit old enough now to like. be awake overnight and know what's going on and be very helpful and trying to make me feel good and put cold towels on my head. So my son who was four, my oldest son who was four and then my daughter who was I think she was one and a half at the time, they were in the room and they were just like it was just so fun because I just remember having so much fun in this birth because they were there. And just so much joy throughout each contraction. I would just stop and we just talk, and we'd be 'Baby's almost here,' I wonder if it's a baby boy or baby girl, baby brother, baby sister, and we would just like talk, and my husband would just pray over me like through each contraction. It was like truly such a good birth, and yeah, so baby was born at I think 4 30 in the morning, and just Perfect, perfect labor, perfect birth. Truly just such a great experience. And yeah, it was just so special because all my kids climbed into bed with me and got to see their little baby brother and hold him. And yeah, it was just so, so great. Taylor Gipson: I think that's one of my favorite parts about having births at home is the older siblings getting to see their younger siblings be born and just Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: have a full understanding of everything that's going on because a lot of people think that they'll be scared to see it or whatever, but they're so the opposite. they're so in tune and they Diandra Lothman: Yes, yeah. Taylor Gipson: know when to just step back and watch and yeah. Diandra Lothman: Yes. And they were so great. they just sat back, observed and of course I talked to them about, you know, like what's gonna happen, what to expect. I told them like mommy's not scared or mommy's not in pain or you know, this is just how God designed mommies to give birth to their babies and it was just really cool. I I loved like normalizing that for Especially because I have three, three boys now and one girl. these men are going to be, you know, fathers one day. And I think we're actually doing really great thing, allowing them to witness that. And same thing for my daughter, because you Taylor Gipson: yeah. Diandra Lothman: know, one day she wants to be a mom. And so it's just like, see how normal and awesome God is for this? Like it's really cool. Taylor Gipson: Yes, I one thousand percent agree with that. I feel like it's just as important for the boys as the girls because you want them to be good fathers and husbands and support their spouse Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Yeah. Taylor Gipson: and I feel like it's the perfect way to be that example and then even them witnessing how your husband treats you during that time is important as well. Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Yeah. Taylor Gipson: That's awesome. Did you ever you said that your mom and your sister came to your fourth birth? Diandra Lothman: They actually, so my mom was there Taylor Gipson: Is that who it was? Diandra Lothman: for all of my births. Yeah. My mom. So when we moved back to Hawaii, we were searching for a place for quite a while. And so we were living in their house with them for my first two births. So I had Irish twins. My first two were 11 months apart. So within that time, we gave birth twice Taylor Gipson: Well wow. Diandra Lothman: at my parents' house. And so my mom, my mom and my older sister were there for my first. And then my second, my mom and my husband. Well, my husband was there for all of them, but my my mom was there for my second. And then for my third, my mom was there again, and my husband, and then my fourth, my mom, and then this time my little sisters wanted to be there. they're at the time they were 17 and 14. And then my mother in law invited her as well. Yeah. So it was a whole family affair. Taylor Gipson: Wow, that's I I kinda yeah, I I think I love that for you because I personally have always I've been in other countries for two of but I just think it's nice that they were able to support you through that. Did they bring any fear Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: or how did you go about that? Diandra Lothman: So actually, my first pregnancy, I was a little bit hesitant to tell my mom that, hey, we got released and I think we're still gonna do this in your house. but when I did end Taylor Gipson: Yeah. Diandra Lothman: up telling her, like, she was like, my gosh, this is so exciting! Like, I'm so excited. She is really, really strong believer, and she's very, very naturally minded, and she totally believes that this is not an emergency, that this is Natural thing that got designed for us as women to give birth to our children. And she's had five natural births in the hospital. So she totally was like, You got this girl, like, and I'll be there to help you with Taylor Gipson: Yeah. Diandra Lothman: whatever you need. And so that was really nice. I just remember my mom's words, like for my first birth, my mom was like, Tandra, you can do it. And she was just like. She's so encouraging. And I was like, yeah, I I need her at every one of my births because she's awesome. And then, yeah, Taylor Gipson: Yeah. Diandra Lothman: so my older sister was there as well. She doesn't have she didn't have any kids at the time. And I was like, let's see how let's let me show you how like cool this can be. And then for my fourth birth, my little sisters were like confident enough with like, I don't know, wanting to see that, I guess. And so they were there, and Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: my sister, I designated her to be like our photographer. And then my younger sister was just kind of watching. And it's really cool because they they have said to me, they're like, DeAndre, I want to do exactly this. Like, I want to give birth at home. Like, Taylor Gipson: Awww. Diandra Lothman: yeah, I was like, praise God that like you witnessing me, it can be encouraging to you when that time comes, you know? Yeah. Taylor Gipson: Mm. Mm hmm Yep. That's kinda why I started this podcast. just to show people that you know, whether Diandra Lothman: Yes. Taylor Gipson: it be like family members or just whatever, like that Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: this is not something that's so extreme like people think it is. But yeah. I still with me and my husband's family. They just think we're crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Diandra Lothman: Yeah. A lot of my friends do too. And a lot of people on social media because I love to talk about for the same reasons that you do about how good it can be. Just with all these, you know, traumatic birth stories. I remember with my first I didn't know one person who has given birth at home. And I just remember everybody, like old like there's people older than me who are telling me their birth stories. And was like, maybe I won't talk about this with you because I don't know. I just I didn't like the fear and the traumatic experiences that people had. I really just wanted to write a different story for myself. And I was like, no, I feel like this is so natural and normal. Like I don't think my story needs to be that way. And so whenever I whenever I do talk to people about birth, I really try to encourage them, like it could be so good. It could be so good. Taylor Gipson: Yes. Yeah. I Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: actually was talking to a woman the other day at the park, she had told me that she had already had three home births and she's pregnant with her fourth and I'm like, that's awesome. And then we got to talking and she's had home births, so I felt like confident and being like, Yeah, I've had a free birth, my last one was a free birth and she was like, What's that? And I'm like and so I explained it to her and like her jaw dropped and I'm like it's not that bad, like I promise and she was like, Well I guess sh your baby's right there and I'm like Yeah Diandra Lothman: what's your response to people when they say like if they if you ever gotten told like that's really irresponsible? Taylor Gipson: I say that it's not because I've probably done more research than you could imagine. And Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Taylor Gipson: also, things can happen whether you're at the hospital with a midwife or not. And I know where I put my faith. Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: And ultimately for me it boils down to my faith. And Where I put my trust in some people are not gonna ever understand that. And Diandra Lothman: Mm-hmm. Taylor Gipson: I I'm okay with that. I I understand Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: that that's not everybody's thing. And Diandra Lothman: Mm. Taylor Gipson: if you wanna think I'm irresponsible, that's okay. That's where I'm at with it, honestly. Diandra Lothman: Yeah, that's that's exactly my response too. I think it really does take a lot more self-discipline, a lot more work to do a home birth, whether it's free birth or with a midwife, because some midwives won't even accept you if your Taylor Gipson: Mm. Diandra Lothman: diet's wrong or if you're not doing, you know, the things that they would encourage you to do. Because like you need to make sure your blood volume is high because you don't have Blood transfusion. you need to make sure your diet's good because you don't have the same things that you do in the hospital. So you kind of need to work at it harder and do a lot more research to Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: optimize your health for this. And so I love that response. Taylor Gipson: Yeah. Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: Even the things that go into it before getting pregnant. I for me, Diandra Lothman: Yes. Taylor Gipson: in my opinion, my body is a temple and I'm treating it as such all the time. And I'm doing my best Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: all the time to really make sure that I am pure and you know obviously there's things that you can't control. But that's where like your faith comes in, you know, and Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Yeah. Taylor Gipson: like I said That's that's really it for me. And Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: I don't think that people like you said see the work that it takes and I just don't know how I mean I see how people think it's responsible, but at the end of the day they don't know what goes on behind the scenes. Diandra Lothman: True. And I think there's so much power in prayer, especially when you're like, What if this can go wrong? What if this can go wrong? If you really bring that to the Lord and you bring your fears to the Lord, I feel like there's this comfort and confidence that He gives to you when you pray about specific things. And I think that's very, very powerful. Taylor Gipson: Yes. Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: Yep, and then also learning how to release fear and understand where fear is coming from. It's coming Diandra Lothman: Mm-hmm. Taylor Gipson: from the enemy. It's not it's not something of Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Yeah. Taylor Gipson: our father at all. And I try to do this with my daily life, not even just in pregnancy. Diandra Lothman: Mm-hmm. Taylor Gipson: I'm always trying to let go of any fears that I have, whether it's like for financial things, what's going on in the world, there's so Diandra Lothman: Mm-hmm. Taylor Gipson: much to be fearful about. You have to really put a stop to it. Diandra Lothman: Yeah, but that's so true. I'm the same way. I think God is our rock. Like we don't need to fear. and I love the scripture of I can't remember wh where it is in the Bible, but to not worry even about tomorrow. It like so true. Taylor Gipson: Yes. yeah. I saw because I had just like scrolled your Instagram for a second before we hopped on, Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: that you you actually put the Bible verses, you read some of them. And I'm like, this is so good. I'm going to take this and for my next pregnancy if I am blessed in that way. Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: And I'm willing to I'm willing to do that. That's Diandra Lothman: Amen. That's so good. I'm so glad. Taylor Gipson: yeah, I love that. I always open and I like read and I try to like grasp what I can from like sometimes I'll like just open the book and I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna read here. I obviously read like every day. I'm going like reading the Bible from front to back right now. But Diandra Lothman: Need to do that. Taylor Gipson: Just it's I feel like once you actually start opening it up and reading it for what it says, everything just makes a lot more sense in this world. And I know some people think you're crazy for Diandra Lothman: We yeah, no, for real. Taylor Gipson: it, but it's like everything and every I was always like scared to cause I didn't start coming into my faith until twenty twenty-two. And once I started reading and just reading it from what it says and taking out everything else that the world has given it, I'm like, okay, everything's clicking for me because he took me through a major like I've hit every branch, falling and stumbling to find the true the truth essentially. And I was like a new age right before I found the Bible. And yeah. And I'm like, I'm happy he took me through that because the word makes so much more sense because I know exactly how I was deceived, you know? And I Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: just think that's kind of interesting. But I'm not trying to take it away from your story. We just Diandra Lothman: Yeah, that's really awesome. Praise God that he that that you found the Lord and that, he's taught you so much stuff along the way. That's amazing. I have a similar I was born and raised in a Christian Taylor Gipson: Yes. Yeah. It really is. Diandra Lothman: family, but I definitely had a new age season of my life. I would say more so like in high school where I was be really into astrology, like What are the stars saying about my personality this week? And then you you read about even that stuff in scripture and you're like, wow, yeah, it's really it's really humbling to read the Bible and it really tells you a lot Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: about even today, what's going on. Yeah. Taylor Gipson: Yes. And even like the like the spiritual warfare aspect. And I feel like that goes into birth as well, you know. I feel like Diandra Lothman: Good. Taylor Gipson: the system that we're in, the in society, will create every outlet for fear possible. And Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: yeah, it just goes back into I've just feel like birth is so heavily influenced by what the Bible says and I don't know. I feel like it that's the reason it's so attacked, Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: to be honest. Diandra Lothman: Yes, I think I think that's exactly true. I think God really did design it perfectly and Satan comes to kill, steal, and destroy everything good and beautiful. Even like children and Taylor Gipson: Yeah. Diandra Lothman: all these different things that God said is a a blessing and inheritance. Of course he's gonna try and come and steal that. Yeah. Taylor Gipson: Yes. Yes. I I would say the same, like when it comes to like motherhood and just what we're seeing now today. I I have four you do two, like the biggest blessings and like it's hard. Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: Don't get me wrong, but like I could never just look at them and feel like they are an inconvenience or that I don't know. Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: It's a lot. Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Definitely having four kids has taught me how to really parent biblically. Like it's Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: not really about me getting upset and saying that's not okay. It's why is that not okay? And then we go back into the word and we say, This is what God said about this decision that you made. Do you think that was honoring to the Lord or was it not honoring to the Lord? Or how you treat your sibling? Like, was Taylor Gipson: Mm. Diandra Lothman: that honoring God or? it when you take everything back to scripture, birth, parenting, just like your daily walk of life, like when you take it back to scripture, there's just an there's an answer for everything in scripture, even birth Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Yes. Diandra Lothman: and parent everything. And it's really incredible when you realize that. And you kind of have like a a direction of okay, this is where all of my information and and the way I should live and the way I should think is coming from. Taylor Gipson: Yeah, it's nice 'cause you really don't have to I read other books and stuff too, but I'm really careful with what I read. And I feel like that's the only book I feel at this point in my life I've read enough that it's really the only one I need for the most part, you know. Diandra Lothman: Yeah, yeah, that's so true. Yeah. I wish you could say I read a lot of books. Taylor Gipson: I I if you would have asked high school me if or even college me if adult real adult me read books, th they would be in shock 'cause I also did not read a lot of books. Diandra Lothman: Yeah, like are you reading like stories, like story based books? fictional or non fiction or Taylor Gipson: me? No. See, I can't get into fiction. I don't even like watching movies or like TV shows because I'm like that's Diandra Lothman: Okay. Yeah. Taylor Gipson: it's fake. I like I've always been Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: that way. I was really sheltered. I was really sheltered growing up and so I just feel like I kinda like see through a lot of stuff and I'm just like I I don't know. It's it's hard for Diandra Lothman: Yes. Taylor Gipson: me to get emotionally involved in like fictional things. I Diandra Lothman: Mm. Taylor Gipson: like a lot of birth probably at rid a lot like birth books, homesteading books, Real Food for Fertility by Lily Nichols, like that kind of stuff. Not yeah, yeah. Diandra Lothman: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I definitely open up like my herbalism books in my I love Taylor Gipson: Yes, I have those too. Diandra Lothman: a good herbalist book. Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. But it's something like tangible and something that it can help make you better, not just like Diandra Lothman: Yes, yes. I love I love when you can actually use the book for real life situations. Taylor Gipson: Yeah, yeah, me too. Diandra Lothman: Those are my kind of books, I would say so for sure too. Taylor Gipson: Yeah, outside of that I don't I don't really read. Diandra Lothman: Mm. Taylor Gipson: so back to your stories, is there anything that you wanna add to that or any like wisdom or that you wanna share that you've learned throughout your free births? Diandra Lothman: Yeah, I would say I I would really, really say that if you if you love the Lord and you want to have whatever kind of birth, whether it's in the hospital or at home or with midwife or without a midwife, just read the Bible and understand that fear is not from the Lord. And whatever fear, what ifs, it's not from the Lord. And when you can understand that and pray against that and you can have no fear present whatsoever in your mind, in your body, that you you'll have most likely a really great outcome. That's my advice. I Taylor Gipson: I agree. Diandra Lothman: just I I really believe that fear is a liar and that it stops us Taylor Gipson: Yeah. Diandra Lothman: from really having really, really amazing experiences. Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Yep. And how did your husband support you through everything? Cause I feel like everyone kind of makes it like all about the woman and the woman and the woman. And it is, but like it's also his child and Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: you know, I don't know, just I think it's important to add the male's perspective in there too a little bit. Diandra Lothman: Yeah, yeah. So my husband, my man, I would not I would not be able to have four kids and still want more kids if he wasn't as supportive as he is. Like he's such a great father, such a great husband, partner, like he's everything. I would say like I'll break this into like sections. I'll break it into like pregnancy and then I'll go into like postpartum and just life in general. So I would say pregnancy, my husband definitely like He thinks about me, what I need, how can he help me? How can he make things easier for me? He'll ask things, what what what can I take off your load? when you have multiple kids and you're pregnant, things start to get a little harder because you know, like you can't really just rest whenever you want or like take a nap whenever you want. And like, so my husband does he does work at like a lo a lot pretty much Monday through Saturday. We only really have Sundays together. And he comes home pretty late, but when he does come home, he is helping me clean up the house. He is bathing all of our kids. He bathes all four of our kids every single night and puts them all to sleep, brushes their teeth. Like I'm not worried about how they're gonna get in bed because I know my husband's gonna do it. And it's kind of like sweet because it's also his time to kind of connect with them and spend time with them in the short time when he gets home. And so Taylor Gipson: Mm. Diandra Lothman: I would say through through my pregnancies, he's been such a help when he is home, changing their diapers, making the meals, just so great. I'm so thankful for him. And then during birth, he is praying over me. He's speaking life over me. He's saying you were designed to do this and just praying. I remember I took a picture of my husband from Doing our doing my labor of my fourth baby, and I just he it's just him just with open arms just praying over the birth tub and I'm like, that's why I'm pregnant again. Like, Taylor Gipson: Ha ha Diandra Lothman: you know, it's like it's just so great to have a husband who really leans and trusts in the Lord and speaks life into you and it's just really incredible. I'm so thankful also that he's so comfortable with home birth because he's his family and his grandma and Yeah, it's just an incredible thing. And then postpartum, I feel like, man, I would not be able to to be as like relaxed and restful postpartum if it was not for my husband and my mom. but my husband, he stays he kind of takes a little bit of time off of work. He prepares for it, he, you know, sets money to the side so he can do this. I I know not everybody's able to, but Taylor Gipson: Right. Diandra Lothman: Thankfully he does and we plan it out this way. And so he takes that first one for first or second week off of work. He makes me breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don't leave my bed for two whole weeks. Like this man is from the Lord. Like genuinely Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: such a great husband. He takes care of my kids. He takes them our kids. He takes them to the park. He just kind of keeps them mostly just away so me and baby baby can have time. But if they wanted to come up, they're totally fine to, come and come Taylor Gipson: Right. Diandra Lothman: and hang out. Or if they want to just take a nap with me and that's fine too. But he really makes a point to like keep them occupied and nourish me as well as nourish them and just yeah, it takes such a load off of me postpartum to where I don't need to get out of bed unless I have to shower, use the restroom or brush my teeth. It's pretty Taylor Gipson: Wow. Diandra Lothman: It's a blessing, for sure. I do not take it for granted. Yeah. Taylor Gipson: Yes, it is. Very much so. I don't b I don't imagine that you do. Diandra Lothman: yeah, I I just would not be able to be so restful and and have like such a peaceful experience if it wasn't for him being so intentional about where he can help me and how he can do it to the best of his ability. Taylor Gipson: Yes. Sorry. Getting sleepy. I agree. Husbands I feel like can make or break all of it. Diandra Lothman: Yes. Taylor Gipson: And yeah, I that's the reason I have so many kids as well. Yeah. Diandra Lothman: Yeah, I know. And my husband, it's funny because, we're in our friend group, there's so many husbands who are so fearful of birth. And my husband's like trying to speak life into the husbands, like, You were made for this. Like Taylor Gipson: Yeah. Diandra Lothman: you're made to speak life into her and like to trust that birth is not an emergency. And it's really cool the way that God has used him and his even his like guy husband friend group, you know. Yeah. Taylor Gipson: Yeah. That's funny because all of all of my husband's friends when he told them, they're like they call him Gip. And they're like, what else would you do, Gip? And we're like, Are we really that off the wall to y'all that you just think that this is normal for us? I mean it is normal Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: for us, but they're like not surprised anymore by anything. Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: yeah. Okay. Diandra Lothman: Yeah, I think the same same thing is true for us too. Taylor Gipson: Right. Okay, so we're at the end of the episode and I ask two questions to all of my guests and the first one is what is your best advice to a mom planning a physiological birth? You might have already touched on it, but if you wanna reiterate anything. Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Yeah. I would say just really trust the Lord. I would encourage you also to just pray every week on what's developing because it really takes away any type of fear anxieties that you might have for the development of your baby. Like when you're really specifically praying each week over what is developing scientifically in your baby, I feel like you really just let go of a lot of fears. And then to pray specific prayers of what you want your birth to look like and for me, it's I o I pray all the time, give me the most uneventful, peaceful birth that I can have. Cause and filled with Taylor Gipson: Mm. Diandra Lothman: a lot of joy and a lot of happiness and Taylor Gipson: Yeah. Diandra Lothman: like and just like really don't feel don't let fear in, I would say, because birth Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: is not an emergency. It is a natural biological thing that we get to have. And you know, there's only There's only one time of your life really where you have kids and maybe it's multiple times, but really just have the best experience that you can possibly have and fill your brain with good things and with good research Taylor Gipson: Mm-hmm. Diandra Lothman: and you know. Yeah, that would be my advice. Taylor Gipson: I agree. Yep. And so the next one is how can the village support you? So whether that be prayers through social media, if maybe you have like a you're growing a business, just any way Diandra Lothman: Yeah. Taylor Gipson: that the listeners can go and support you in any way. Diandra Lothman: Yeah, yeah. If you can pray for, you know, my family's business. We're trying to grow our business here so that way we can move back to Oahu eventually. and then yeah, my Instagram is Deandra Lawney. I think it's D-I-A-N-D-R-A-L-L A-N-I. I share a lot about birth and just like natural remedies and a lot of just like family. Yeah, I would love to. be a content creator and make make some extra Taylor Gipson: Okay w yeah. Diandra Lothman: income for my family through there. So yeah, that would be very great if you guys could follow me. Taylor Gipson: Yeah, I definitely am with you there. my husband's job is miserable and I'm just like if I can just be your way out. Yeah. What Diandra Lothman: I know, it's like I just wanna help. I just wanna help, Taylor Gipson: is your family's business? Diandra Lothman: Yeah, so my husband his business is called Northwest Refresh. He does a lot of grout and tile restoration.