Latest / Macroaggressions / #688: They Don’t Want You Flying (Clip)

Transcript

#688: They Don’t Want You Flying (Clip) · Macroaggressions

• 0:04
  I stand on this record.
• 0:06
  I think this is the record.
• 0:07
  I don't know if anybody is going to challenge me on it,
• 0:09
  but if they do wish to challenge me
• 0:11
  on this potential record, I welcome it
• 0:14
  and shake their hand because they're my type of person.
• 0:17
  But I'm pretty sure I set the record
• 0:20
  for the fastest argument of the year with TSA.
• 0:26
  I can't imagine anybody getting into this heated
• 0:31
  of an argument this quickly.
• 0:32
  It happened at 4.45 in the morning on January 1st.
• 0:36
  So, and it's Atlanta.
• 0:39
  And if you've ever gone through the intergalactic airport
• 0:42
  known as the Hartsfield Jackson Airport in Atlanta,
• 0:47
  that is where smiles go to die.
• 0:49
  That is where customer service ends.
• 0:52
  That is where Misery loves company.
• 0:55
  Atlanta's airport is an abomination.
• 0:59
  And it starts with the people that work there.
• 1:02
  Never had a good day in their life, right?
• 1:04
  So, I mean, so it starts with that.
• 1:05
  And my fight with the guy is that I show him my ID
• 1:10
  at the check-in where we're going through,
• 1:12
  right before you go through the metal detectors,
• 1:16
  you go through a screening where they check your ID
• 1:19
  and they want you to stand and take your picture
• 1:21
  in front of a camera.
• 1:23
  I hand the guy my ID, he sticks it in the thing
• 1:25
  and I say, no pictures.
• 1:27
  I'm not doing it.
• 1:27
  He goes, you have to tell me that before you give me the ID.
• 1:30
  I said, no, I don't.
• 1:31
  He said, yes, you do.
• 1:32
  I said, give me the ID back and then I'll tell you before.
• 1:34
  He goes, I already put it in the machine.
• 1:35
  I go, what does that mean?
• 1:36
  He goes, I have to take the picture.
• 1:37
  I go, okay, fine.
• 1:38
  So I stand in front of the picture
• 1:39
  and turn completely backwards
• 1:40
  so it'll take a picture the back of my head.
• 1:42
  He goes, that doesn't work.
• 1:43
  I go, you told me we have to take a picture.
• 1:45
  This is the picture I'm taking.
• 1:47
  He goes, no, you can't do it.
• 1:48
  I said, well, I'm opting out.
• 1:49
  He says, you can't opt out.
• 1:50
  And I said, it's optional.
• 1:51
  And he says, you can't opt out.
• 1:53
  And I said, do you know what the word optional means?
• 1:56
  And he said, you can't opt out.
• 1:58
  And then I went full bananas on this guy
• 2:00
  and I started screaming
• 2:02
  because there's five different places you can check in.
• 2:05
  And underneath, there's five different people manning them.
• 2:07
  And underneath them, there is a big sign
• 2:10
  that says to take your picture is optional.
• 2:12
  And I start with optional, optional, optional, optional.
• 2:17
  And I start going down.
• 2:18
  I'm pointing at all these.
• 2:19
  Do you know what the word means?
• 2:21
  And he did not like that one bit.
• 2:23
  And I got everybody's attention.
• 2:25
  4.45 in the morning.
• 2:26
  Nobody wants this bullshit.
• 2:28
  But I'll tell you what,
• 2:29
  I'm gonna fight with these people every single time
• 2:32
  because they deserve it.
• 2:34
  They have no authority over me.
• 2:36
  I refuse to submit to their authority.
• 2:39
  So what did the guy do?
• 2:39
  He made me leave the terminal.
• 2:41
  I talk about, again, here come the police, you know?
• 2:45
  And he made me leave the terminal,
• 2:47
  go into a totally different terminal to clear security
• 2:51
  so that I could then get to my gate.
• 2:53
  So they have no power except the tiny amount
• 2:57
  where they can try to make you go through another gate.
• 3:00
  Hey, thanks for watching that clip.
• 3:01
  If you wanna watch the entire video,
• 3:03
  it is available as well,
• 3:04
  or you can check it out as an audio podcast,
• 3:07
  wherever podcasts are served.
• 3:08
  Thanks a lot.