Latest / Dits & Dahs / he said, but didn't do
Transcript
- Sue: Coercion and corruption of your thoughts, memories is based on the trust you have with those around you, isn't it? That's my experience. Particularly when you have experienced a life event that stresses you on a day to day level, you might not feel it in such a way that it's physically debilitating, but it technically it alters your perception of things that are happening at the moment because you're not present, you're not fully aware. And it's often times when years go by, perhaps, where you reflect back and you recognize that that is in fact what happened. And because of my life experience in the last four years having been coping with being a widow, that I've had many opportunities to look back at situations and question the accuracy of my memory, knowing that the stress of losing a spouse can not just be the mourning and the grief, but You're reviewing your whole life path in a way that engages your thinking mind so much that you don't recognize little things sometimes coming in and out of your life with so much subtlety. And what I'm referring to specifically is a friend who exchanged my late husband's tools for me receiving musical instruments, had mentioned, ⁓ yeah, you know that day that I gave you the synth and an oboe. He was at my house yesterday, so I pointed to the keyboard case that contained the synth, and then I had a think about oboe. I spent some time reviewing everything that I knew to be true based on that day I picked up the keyboard, and I had no recollection that I also picked up an oboe, particularly one described as having a green case. Most oboe cases just for grins and giggles are black, so a green case is a signifier of usually a student instrument, but it's unusual. It should catch my attention visually, right? So I was thinking about this a lot and called him this morning to get more detail about that day that we exchanged instruments. It was then determined by him that the Yobo was a much earlier exchange, years before my husband died even. Then I concluded that I must have given it to a student, and therefore there's no reason to remember the transaction ongoing. It's part of my memory. My filing system of my memory is such that once I complete something and it's no longer my possession, I don't spend much energy trying to remember what was. And having been reassured that this was a transaction that happened before my husband died, then I could put myself out of the questioning mode, back to my grounded reality, understanding that okay, there is nothing wrong with the memory that I have, despite the stress of being a widow. I have further since learned that Hobo never was traded. It's still in his possession. He sent me a picture of it. And so now we come to this place of trusting others and understanding that questioning yourself based on what someone else says is the truth and believes it, confirmation with a chipmo, might not be truth. It is their truth, and your truth might be your truth, it might not be a universal truth, and that with that logic. Until that other person chases it down, questions himself as I did, the truth won't be revealed until you've gone through that process. And it's a thing of why this is why we have a a jury system. People can view the same event happening and have an entirely different truth attached to it, isn't it? And it's not that you don't trust your friends, generally speaking, but we also now have a better appreciation For just how much emotional stress we may have going on in our lives that unbeknownst to us, dear confirmation, has the potential to undermine our own truths. And it speaks to two people or more have different truths of the same situation. You have to accept that and use logic, don't we? Right? It's not about being skeptical or mistrusting of the particular truth another holds. It's simply about being willing to confirm the truth as it is. Confirmation with that bird. And that just brings around the general point in my life where being kind and being patient is the best way forward, because those are energies of positive charge. Doubt, questioning, skepticism can be viewed as negative energies. The kind of energies that are a little chaotic in their feel, unresting. And of course when you're living a positively happy, joyful life, you're at calm and at peace, aren't you? That's the truth. Anything else isn't, regardless of how believable other souls may be. As ever, you never know someone's soul may temporarily be controlled by an entity. And that comes to the most basic of things, which is forgiveness. My belief is that when you forgive yourself first, there's no need to forgive others because then you have the perspective of accepting you in the truth in which you live. Forgiving others is always a good thing, but it is not the first thing one should do in my view. And if you feel that that is a logical Prudent, sensible way, that's your truth. And I happen to agree with it. And that's your confirmation, but you're not alone. Putting yourself in the energy of questioning things and doubting yourself is self-sabotage, and you're probably the one to best undermine yourself. You're probably doing a really good job of it when you've been involved with it. I certainly did. I always remind myself that my head feels better when I stop hitting my head with a hammer. But it's also about patience, because I accepted the fact that I didn't recall receiving this instrument. And sort of put it on the list of things that when I have a good clear day of non distracted activities, I'd spend time looking for it. However, it would only be to confirm that I in fact didn't have it. Thankfully, my friend's text now confirmed that my memory's intact. 'Cause I can tell you from the outside looking in, as a widow, you'll have a lot of people who will label you as being feeble or weak because you know you're going through a lot in your life. Losing a spouse is a stressful thing. Of course you're not. gonna have a good memory. Bull. My memory is strong like boon. Does it make the other person unreliable? No, but as someone who by default prefers to reserve my trust given the easy way that people can be attached to other entities, I tend to face people with goodwill and eye to eye and then see where things go after that. So no, it doesn't change my overall view of how I interact with this person. But emotionally it's a bit of a relief for me, honest. And of course now that eliminates the possibility, realistically, that when energetic projections towards me are trying to get me to be unsure of myself or allow people to label me as infirm mentally. That doesn't fly. And it may well be that they themselves are experiencing those energies. Not for me to say, but it does strengthen the argument for always being kind and be always being patient. Particularly with things that are energetic because energy doesn't flow in the way that we regulate as humans the passage of time. Confirmation with that banging. So I'm interested to know if you have found yourself in a situation where you couldn't believe that wasn't s that what somebody said to you was the truth, because your reality differed and you were convinced that you were the weak one not remembering it correctly. Don't need to know the details, but if you've been in that situation and wish to affirm that we're not alone together in this, that'd be lovely. But if not, just know that I'm grateful for the time that you've taken to stop in and listen. I appreciate you.