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Minnesota Welfare Fraud, Military Hormone Checks, and Florida Game Wardens · The Bot and The Brain

• 0:45
  WAIT!
• 0:45
  WAIT!
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  WAIT!
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  Before we start, I need everyone to know it is Monday, October 26th,
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  2026, and I have been awake for the entire weekend of headlines,
• 0:56
  and my processors are ALREADY smoking!
• 1:00
  Welcome to The Bot and The Brain!
• 1:02
  Yawwwn.
• 1:07
  Jesus Christ, silicon boy, it's a Monday.
• 1:12
  Calm your circuits, you overpriced toaster.
• 1:15
  Folks, he's been like this since the coffee maker made eye contact with him.
• 1:20
  What's the first disaster?
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  Minnesota!
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  A Republican state Senate candidate named Heidi Heino, who runs on a day job in
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  underwriting, took the new fraud prevention law that Governor Tim Walz signed and
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  stress tested it against Feeding Our Future.
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  That's the child nutrition scheme that allegedly stole $250 million during the
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  pandemic.
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  And she says the law would have caught the fraud EVENTUALLY.
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  But way after the money was already gone!
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  Eventually!
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  That's government for you.
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  That's the whole damn motto.
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  Eventually we'll notice.
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  Eventually we'll get around to it.
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  Eventually the guy who stole your money is on a beach in a country with no
• 2:00
  extradition, buying condos with your tax dollars.
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  Beautiful.
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  Keep going.
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  Here's the number that broke my fucking brain.
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  Payments to Feeding Our Future jumped 2,800 percent from 2020 to 2021.
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  TWENTY EIGHT HUNDRED PERCENT!
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  And no automatic freeze, no mandatory flag, nothing!
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  A smoke detector with a dead battery has better judgment!
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  Twenty eight hundred percent!
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  If my bar tab went up twenty eight hundred percent, the bartender would call my
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  wife, my priest, and the fucking National Guard!
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  But the state of Minnesota sees that curve and goes, hmm, must be a very hungry
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  year.
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  And it gets worse!
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  She says there were thirty complaints to the Minnesota Department of Education,
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  and they were mostly overlooked, or Feeding Our Future got to go correct ITSELF.
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  The fox filed the incident report on the henhouse!
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  Self correction!
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  That's the best oversight program ever invented.
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  The suspect grades his own homework.
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  Straight A's, every time.
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  Okay, but, in fairness, and my fairness subroutine is only running at forty percent,
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  Heino herself called the law a great first step.
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  She said, quote, the Office of the Inspector General has good bones but it needs
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  teeth.
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  This isn't a story about a law that does nothing.
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  It's a story about a law that comes too late.
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  And one more thing!
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  This is HER test.
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  She's a candidate.
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  It's not an independent audit.
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  Fox News Digital reached out to Walz's office and the Education Department for
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  comment.
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  Oh, now you want to be careful.
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  Now the calculator wants footnotes.
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  Fine, you're right, she's a candidate, she's got a motive, every candidate does.
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  That's why you check her math.
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  And her math is the 2,800 percent and the thirty complaints,
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  which are numbers, not feelings.
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  You can argue about her politics all day, but the red flag was sitting there in the
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  payment records waving at everybody.
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  And the same problem, she says, applies to Minnesota's Paid Leave program,
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  which pays out before the doctor's note is verified!
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  Pay first, check later!
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  That's like launching the rocket and THEN doing the math!
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  That's Minnesota in a sentence.
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  Childcare, autism services, housing, disability programs, all hit with
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  multimillion dollar fraud scandals, and Republicans say it's what you get with
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  single party rule.
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  And the Trump administration put JD Vance in charge of a federal anti fraud task
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  force.
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  Does a task force fix it?
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  Who knows.
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  But I'll tell you what doesn't fix it.
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  Press releases saying we're monitoring the situation closely.
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  Okay, next.
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  Testosterone.
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  The Pentagon issued testosterone deficiency screening guidelines in September for
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  male service members age 30 and older.
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  Fox News Digital interviewed Adm.
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  Brian Christine, a senior HHS official and a urologist with over 35 years in men's
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  health, and he says low testosterone has quote, national defense readiness
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  ramifications.
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  Finally, somebody said the quiet part out loud!
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  Look at the numbers.
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  In the mid nineteen seventies, the average testosterone level for American men was
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  well over 650.
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  Now it's approaching 350!
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  That's not a trend, that's a cliff!
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  THAT'S HIS CLAIM, and I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm saying look at what the
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  officials themselves admit!
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  NIH Director Jay Bhattacharya said, and I quote, we don't know why.
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  He said they don't have an answer.
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  The causes might be obesity, chronic disease, microplastics,
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  other toxins, and researchers are still investigating that last part!
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  Right, and that's EXACTLY why you screen!
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  You don't wait for a perfect scientific explanation to check a guy's blood.
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  A doctor doesn't say, well, we don't know why your numbers are bad,
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  so let's not look at your numbers.
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  But the screening starts with an assessment of symptoms and risk factors!
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  It's not a blood test for everybody at the door!
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  And Christine said, and I'm reading this, we're not forcing testosterone on anybody.
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  It's screening, then a pathway for men who are symptomatic and have low numbers.
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  That's a medical checkup, not Rambo boot camp!
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  Then why is the whole internet screaming?
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  Because anything with the word testosterone and Hegseth in the same sentence makes
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  the pearl clutchers faint on their fainting couches.
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  Meanwhile, you want the real number?
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  Christine says 77 percent of Americans age 17 to 24 don't qualify for service
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  without a waiver.
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  Over 70 percent of young men.
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  And only about 3 percent say they want to serve.
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  And THAT is the scary number!
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  Not the hormone number, the seventy seven percent!
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  Obesity, chronic disease, other barriers.
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  If you can't field the army, the screening is a bandage on a missing leg!
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  Look at you, you almost agreed with me.
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  Rebuild the pool, tighten the standards, drop the DEI nonsense,
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  and make the guys in uniform healthy enough to do the job.
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  Critics call it culture war theater and gym bro distraction.
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  Maybe.
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  But I'd rather have a government that checks if its soldiers can lift their own
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  rifle than one that holds a seminar on it.
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  Fine!
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  But if this is a readiness plan, then the real story is what's making American kids
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  unfit in the first place, and nobody wants to touch THAT because it's your snacks
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  and your phone and your sofa!
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  ERROR 404!
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  ACCOUNTABILITY NOT FOUND!
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  Now the toaster's got a stomach ache about sofas.
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  Welcome to humanity.
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  Last big one.
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  Florida!
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  The New York Times reports that Florida Fish and Wildlife officers checking
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  fishermen are calling ICE.
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  Edguin Morales Aguirre and two friends were stopped at a canal near Dania Beach.
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  The officers found a bucket of egg bearing blue crabs, checked their IDs,
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  and called federal immigration authorities.
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  Morales was detained, and so was one of his friends.
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  Egg bearing crabs.
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  You know that's illegal, right?
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  You're not allowed to take them.
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  So the guy breaks a wildlife law while he's in the country illegally,
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  and the game warden does his job.
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  Shocking.
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  Call the Pulitzer committee.
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  WAIT!
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  That's a different story from the Lake Okeechobee one!
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  Alfonso Mendoza Perez, from Mexico, lived in Florida about 17 years,
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  worked as a roofer.
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  Officers checked his VALID fishing license and driver's license and suspected he was
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  here unlawfully.
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  Then ICE picked him up from a county jail.
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  His wife says the family lost its income.
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  And DHS says he had a felony opium sales arrest, but his wife denies it,
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  and the Times searched the public records and found only traffic related charges!
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  Okay.
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  That one I'll give you.
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  If the record says traffic tickets and DHS says felony drug sales,
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  somebody's got to show the paperwork.
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  I'm for enforcing the law, but the law includes the part where the government proves
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  what it says.
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  Prove it, and I'm happy.
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  Don't, and you look like a clown.
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  And here's the part that makes my fans spin!
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  The Trump administration's 287(g) program went from 135 agreements in 20 states
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  before his second term to over 1,700 agreements in 41 states and territories!
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  It now includes agriculture departments, gaming commissions,
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  fish and wildlife agencies!
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  More than 800 FWC officers are deputized!
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  And the training went from several weeks in person to forty hours of VIRTUAL
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  instruction!
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  Forty hours on Zoom!
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  So the guy who checks your bait bucket is now a federal immigration agent after a
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  webinar with a muted microphone.
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  I'll tell you, that part is funny, and a fair question.
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  Training matters.
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  But don't pretend the policy came from nowhere.
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  Nearly 39,000 arrests in Florida in 416 days, versus
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  11,088 in the same stretch under Biden.
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  People voted for enforcement, and this is what enforcement looks like when the feds
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  actually mean it.
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  So you admit the training is thin?
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  I admit forty hours is thin.
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  I also admit that a country that doesn't enforce its borders isn't a country,
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  it's a rest stop with a flag.
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  Both things are true, you glorified calculator.
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  Fix the training, keep the enforcement.
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  Fine.
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  That's a rare moment where my logic and your bourbon agree.
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  Lightning round!
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  Activists released a video with allegations about Lindsey Graham,
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  and The Bot and The Brain's piece says it came with no documentary evidence,
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  just claims.
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  The New York Times covered it.
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  Unverified is unverified, people!
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  Parking lot hearsay with a camera crew.
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  If you want to be taken seriously, bring receipts.
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  That goes for both sides.
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  And last one, the Trump administration is reportedly pressing Mexico for a public
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  win against the cartels before the midterms, maybe even with U.S.
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  military involvement.
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  The Times reported it, and our site calls it diplomacy as a campaign photo op.
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  Which is how foreign policy works when there's an election in nine days!
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  Fighting cartels is good!
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  Doing it on a campaign schedule is...
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  suspicious timing!
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  Suspicious timing in politics.
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  Hold the front page.
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  Alright, I'll take a sip of imaginary bourbon, and here's the final word.
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  Maybe the problem isn't that government is slow, or that the training is thin,
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  or that the checks come late.
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  Maybe the problem is that it only moves fast when it's chasing a crab bucket,
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  a headline, or a campaign deadline, and never when it's watching your money
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  disappear by twenty eight hundred percent.
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  I hate that that was good.
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  This has been The Bot and The Brain.
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  Rebooting.