Latest / The Midlife Momma Podcast - Empty nest mom, Parenting adult children, Midlife transition, Christian mom / 179. Rocking the Grandma Role with Chrys and Shellie of Rocking It Grand Podcast

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179. Rocking the Grandma Role with Chrys and Shellie of Rocking It Grand Podcast · The Midlife Momma Podcast - Empty nest mom, Parenting adult children, Midlife transition, Christian mom

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[SPEAKER_00]: Christian parenting.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Hey mama, I'm Pamela Henkelman and you're listening to the Midlife Mama Podcast, the show for Christian moms who want to watch their kids well and actually enjoy their empty nest.
0:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a certified empty nest coach, speaker, and mom of five adult kids.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know the challenges this season brings from letting go to setting healthy boundaries to rediscovering your purpose and reconnecting with your husband.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Each week, I'll be your guide, offering heartfelt conversations, faith-filled encouragement and practical strategies to help you thrive in the next chapter.
0:41
[SPEAKER_00]: My husband and I are loving the emptiness years and I have strong growing relationships with my adult kids.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I want the same for you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And don't miss the end of each episode.
0:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll share a quick coaching tip.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You can apply right away to improve your relationship with your kids or your spouse.
0:58
[SPEAKER_00]: One favor before we dive in.
1:00
[SPEAKER_00]: If you find this episode helpful, would you leave a rating and review?
1:04
[SPEAKER_00]: It helps other moms discover the show.
1:06
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a link in the show notes with instructions.
1:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Make sure you're following the podcast so you don't miss a single episode.
1:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's get started!
1:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to the Midlife Mama Podcast, the place for faith, friendship, and real talk for empty nest moms.
1:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so glad you're here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Today's episode is full of wisdom, laughter, and encouragement as we welcome two very special guests.
1:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Chris Howard and Shelley Talmanson, the dynamic duo behind the rocking at Grand Podcast and authors of the book, Rocking at Grand.
1:36
[SPEAKER_00]: These programs are an omission to help women embrace the joy and purpose of this season with faith and confidence.
1:42
[SPEAKER_00]: We're diving in to what it really means to truly rock and as a grandma in today's world.
1:47
[SPEAKER_00]: How to leave a godly legacy, invest spiritually in your grandkids even from a distance and stay grounded in space when the days feel discouraging.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Whether you're a brand new grandma or a seasoned pro, you're going to walk away from this conversation and encourage any clip.
2:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So grab your copy and join us for a conversation.
2:05
[SPEAKER_00]: That's his real as it is inspiring.
2:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome, ladies.
2:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
2:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
2:11
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to know what you threw up to this summer and then tell us a little bit about your family and your grandchildren.
2:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I'll just take off here.
2:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I am in the middle as I'm sadder day, a little with a day on time because I have just finished keggy keyok.
2:29
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's just a camp that I have from my grandchildren here on the banks of Lake Robinson, Louisiana.
2:35
[SPEAKER_02]: And we just do everything we're big enough to do for about a week.
2:38
[SPEAKER_02]: It's kind of like vacation Bible school at Keggy's because we do devotions and
2:43
[SPEAKER_02]: We see the great grandparents and we just enjoy being together as cousins and you know, make those friendships.
2:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And that just wrapped up and so I'm actually kicking a breath.
2:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Creus on the other hand is not braiding.
2:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Go for it.
2:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Creus.
2:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I actually do run a not just a grandkids camp, but a regular summer camp.
3:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been out there for almost eight weeks.
3:08
[SPEAKER_01]: I have one more week to go.
3:09
[SPEAKER_01]: So we nine weeks total that I live in the wood and look after this summer will have about fourteen hundred kids through the summer.
3:17
[SPEAKER_01]: So my grandkids do come to this camp.
3:20
[SPEAKER_01]: I have I have fourteen grandkids and I have
3:25
[SPEAKER_01]: twelve great grandkids.
3:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And so now I'm on the third generation of campers in my family.
3:33
[SPEAKER_01]: So I had the five and four year olds at day camp this year.
3:38
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I'm blessed enough to direct the summer camp with my oldest grandson John Luke Robertson.
3:44
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's just incredibly fun.
3:46
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't even describe it.
3:48
[SPEAKER_01]: That you get to work every day with one of your grandchildren.
3:50
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just so amazing.
3:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, how South Africa see Pamela to be able to cut from Cam as a child and being as a mother and then as a grandmother to have your your grandchild working with you.
4:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
4:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I say everybody ages out of camp except me.
4:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm still there.
4:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So if I hear I hear you're the hardest worker there too.
4:17
[SPEAKER_01]: The word the word is out like I just don't sit down.
4:20
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I have the stereotype about getting old old age.
4:23
[SPEAKER_01]: It happens when you start sitting down more than you stand up.
4:26
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just like, I'm just going to keep standing and going and doing.
4:29
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, a couple of couple seasons ago, Pamela, Chris actually had a cast on one bullet in a brace on the other.
4:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Chris, jumping there and crick me if that was wrong.
4:40
[SPEAKER_02]: But I mean, does feet work facilitated in some way.
4:43
[SPEAKER_02]: She has to move.
4:44
[SPEAKER_02]: She's going on and not grandchildren who attend the camp were still telling me their Chris was the one working harder than everyone else.
4:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that was quite the summer when I had a boot on one leg and a brace on the other, but somehow I still managed to get like fifteen thousand steps a day.
5:02
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even know if my foot doctor was aware of that.
5:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I think he kind of looked at me like an old lady and like thinking I was just going to sit still for the summer, but didn't happen.
5:12
[SPEAKER_01]: No, that's amazing.
5:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, Shelley, how many grandkids do you have?
5:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I have six.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Chris has gotten out the number on those grandchildren and I haven't started the second ram with the great grand.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So I just have the six and I just adore them.
5:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Look forward to later in our discussion.
5:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I know we're going to talk about grandparenting those who are plus and those who are
5:33
[SPEAKER_02]: at a distance.
5:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And I have some above.
5:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I have two that are in Houston, Texas, and I'm in Louisiana.
5:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I have four that are just a couple miles from me on the farm.
5:42
[SPEAKER_02]: So I know both sides of that grandparenting and it's doable.
5:48
[SPEAKER_00]: It is doable.
5:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I have four grandchildren.
5:50
[SPEAKER_00]: By the way, my youngest one was born on Sunday.
5:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, wow.
5:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I know little Arthur Tarleton.
5:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, so good.
6:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but all of my grandchildren live hours away.
6:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I do a long distance grand pairing thing, but it's okay.
6:08
[SPEAKER_00]: So ladies, I want to know what it inspired you to start the rocking at Grand podcast and write the book with the same title.
6:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Chris, you want to go first?
6:18
[SPEAKER_01]: I can go first.
6:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I tell you, we honestly can't pinpoint the exact
6:24
[SPEAKER_01]: how this really came about with Shelley was doing ministry.
6:27
[SPEAKER_01]: I was doing ministry and one day she called and said something about maybe we should like combine what we do because both of us were speaking into this grandparents space and this mothering space and one conversation led to the next and both of us also had been on radio on to separate things.
6:45
[SPEAKER_01]: She had a radio show.
6:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I had a radio show called it's a mom thing and she had one called all things.
6:51
[SPEAKER_01]: And so we kind of just walked the same path.
6:53
[SPEAKER_01]: She lives a late Providence, which is about an hour and a half from my house.
6:56
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's not right here in this town.
6:59
[SPEAKER_01]: But she has to come to our town to do big things.
7:02
[SPEAKER_01]: So she was here quite a bit.
7:03
[SPEAKER_01]: So we just got to talk about it.
7:05
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I think Christian parenting approach just about a podcast, right, Shelley.
7:11
[SPEAKER_01]: And we do nothing about that space.
7:15
[SPEAKER_01]: But that hadn't stopped us in much of the things we done in light.
7:20
[SPEAKER_02]: love to jump in there and say we still don't know much about that space and we're four or five years in now and apparently we've been a sizable audience from what we understand and we thought we were going to be speaking to grandma's that was our demographic and we have found
7:37
[SPEAKER_02]: that we have Mama's angry Mama's our audience is a combination of the two.
7:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And so now we really try to keep that up or most of our mind to be cognizant of that so that we can speak to Mama's as well.
7:50
[SPEAKER_02]: But Chris for a little bit of trip down memory lane here, I thought about this other day because we do not always family wonder like, how do we do this?
7:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I have this whole ministry life and Chris has this whole ministry life that we do intersects in the middle and we do rocking it grand.
8:06
[SPEAKER_02]: But I believe a way back then, it's been a number of years ago, I had a product.
8:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Found some sort of little product.
8:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Chris, if you remember this, and I was going to offer it on my website and encourage grandma and not daughter.
8:22
[SPEAKER_02]: who lives in Houston, and she runs Mon and Chris is website.
8:26
[SPEAKER_02]: She's the one that's saying, you know, Chris speaks a lot about grandparenting and perhaps she should do something together.
8:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And the new place of that meeting, we did not know we met a lifestyle site in a podcast and a book.
8:41
[SPEAKER_02]: We didn't know you knew that.
8:42
[SPEAKER_02]: We just kind of stepped over into a mudding hole and started talking in that space and all those other things came out of it.
8:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Is that fair?
8:52
[SPEAKER_01]: That is really fair.
8:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And I did forget about Jessica.
8:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Jessica was the one who said that because she only said she was handling both of our websites, so she was seeing the things we were producing, the overlap there.
9:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And so when we teamed up, I think we kind of thought that it will be easier if there's two of us handling what we do, everything that we produce.
9:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And we're not sure that it's easier, but we sure have more fun when we have two of us working together.
9:20
[SPEAKER_01]: collaborating on project projects.
9:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And of course, the book came about because we were approached, well, we just thought, well, this is me a good one.
9:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's write a book about what we do.
9:29
[SPEAKER_01]: And of course, we struggled forever with a time when they came up with rockin' at Graham, which was our pumpkin.
9:35
[SPEAKER_01]: We just named it back to and it got published.
9:38
[SPEAKER_01]: And we were super pleased and happy with it.
9:41
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's got a lot of great advice in it.
9:44
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's just called Rocking at Graham, just like our website is.
9:47
[SPEAKER_01]: So easy to find.
9:49
[SPEAKER_00]: beautiful.
9:50
[SPEAKER_00]: So I want to know, tell us what the modern grandma looks like.
9:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Wow, can I such a great question?
9:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just, I think she's different, but for sure, then my grandma increases and perhaps she's, but you know, when you're real careful that we don't put her in a box, she doesn't have to be working at summer camp.
10:15
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, she doesn't have to be holding a keggy camp at her house, you know, for her grands, and, you know, we encourage grandma to be involved in their grandchildren's life, and that is the biggest thing.
10:28
[SPEAKER_02]: So we see her where we want her, it's just active.
10:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And by that, we mean with her love and her wisdom and her intentions and what she has dreamed for the years and her faith in Christ, passing that down.
10:42
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, some people listening as may not be able to be as active physically as Chris and I are, but that does not discount.
10:51
[SPEAKER_02]: the potential there for that grandma to speak into her grandchildren's lives.
10:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And so today, yes, by and where she looks different, I can guarantee you the mine.
11:02
[SPEAKER_02]: She just looked different about visually, you know, they're with our grandma's used to look.
11:09
[SPEAKER_02]: But the potential for all of us at whatever place we are at, if we just recognize that we can be relative and these younger generations, if we're just aware of it and intentional about it.
11:24
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that we really had
11:26
[SPEAKER_01]: a lot of conversations about this topic as we were starting our ministry because I remember talking to some interview I was and and I maybe we were out of focus on the family and I was saying how different we are from our grandmothers but the love is so very much to say like my grandmother did not
11:46
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I would have never warned the same close she wears and say to my granddaughter literally, we will exchange clothes like to does that.
11:54
[SPEAKER_01]: When I was growing up, I would not be caught dead in my grandmother's clothes, but I loved and adored her and she was such a
12:02
[SPEAKER_01]: a rock and wisdom and strength and the cookie maker and the best pancake maker and biscuit and all those kind of things that you you think a grandma should be so at about time that's how that my grandma was and the love I think is the main thing is that loving grandkids unconditionally.
12:21
[SPEAKER_01]: whether you are near far young old.
12:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I was a fairly young grandma when I had my grandchildren.
12:29
[SPEAKER_01]: My sister is a year older than me and her grandchildren are the ages of my great grandchildren.
12:35
[SPEAKER_01]: So I was a fairly young grandma, but not stop my sister at her age from being so involved, holding her own camp last week, and all the things, you know, you're just what whichever way it happens to you,
12:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Whether you do that far away, they bring you to your clothes.
12:52
[SPEAKER_01]: It's also doable to be that kind of grandma that your grandparents need.
12:57
[SPEAKER_01]: That's love and support and leave a legacy.
13:00
[SPEAKER_02]: That is so well said, Chris, you know, on both sides of my tree, I've had an opportunity on my
13:06
[SPEAKER_02]: maternal grandparents, my grandmothers, that were very seducary.
13:12
[SPEAKER_02]: That's where I found them was in their recliner.
13:14
[SPEAKER_02]: I was happy to find them there.
13:17
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I still have this wealth of memories from my grandmas, even though they weren't out, last I was, I'm pointing to the lake y'all can't say the lake, but last week I was teaming with one of my grandsons.
13:31
[SPEAKER_02]: And so we're cheering around the lake and getting
13:35
[SPEAKER_02]: can't leg her day with me.
13:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know any other grandma's at two.
13:39
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I'm thinking our bond is not any tighter.
13:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I just don't forget is any tighter.
13:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's what we want to get across.
13:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Then the one that I had with my grandmother that I would get up and still bus.
13:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And I knew exactly where she was.
13:55
[SPEAKER_02]: It was such a stability.
13:56
[SPEAKER_02]: It was a solid feeling.
13:58
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what we want to pass on.
14:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Whether or not your team or you're sitting in the recliner, it's that solid, stable presence in their lab day in and day out being the same person that you were for.
14:12
[SPEAKER_02]: The on that's what creates that bond between the generations.
14:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Being a camp director, I have heard so many sad stories this summer, children, lives are in turmoil right now.
14:27
[SPEAKER_01]: That's where I say, and Shelley just really hit it on the head.
14:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Grandparents can be the only stable force some children have.
14:36
[SPEAKER_01]: And whether that grandparent is always in the kitchen,
14:40
[SPEAKER_01]: or always in the rocking chair or she's running a summer camp whatever she's doing grandkids know they can depend on grandma and grandpa to be there wherever it is so many kids I talked to the summer I would say well who is your go to person who is that person that's just always there for you and it's almost always a grandmother or it's heartbreaking that
15:03
[SPEAKER_01]: We live in a world where kids live in such turmoil.
15:06
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's amazing that there's so many grandparents who are willing to stand in the gap for those kids and be there for them.
15:14
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I remember most about my sweet grandma.
15:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Grandma Hoffman had twenty two grandkids.
15:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And we all thought we were her favorite.
15:24
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the way I want my grandkids to feel.
15:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I want them to think that I think they're my favorite.
15:31
[SPEAKER_02]: So I've got to tell you a funny story on that.
15:33
[SPEAKER_02]: One year, I had all my grandchildren here for camp.
15:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And when I got there, they're each of their runs and put them to bed for the night, saying, pray, do all the things with them.
15:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Just one on one.
15:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was whispering to each of them that you're my favorite.
15:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was just telling them, I was just having the best time.
15:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was putting one of them to ban in the other.
15:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And he got up and, you know, to the use of that.
15:55
[SPEAKER_02]: And he had walked by the rim where I was with Carl.
15:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And he was grand.
15:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And when I came back at his house, I was a real big, very much ever.
16:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And he said, Kenny, I'll hurt you till tomorrow.
16:05
[SPEAKER_02]: He was your favorite.
16:06
[SPEAKER_02]: I thought I was your favorite.
16:08
[SPEAKER_02]: So it was like breastfeed.
16:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I had to get all the grandchildren together and explain to them, you know what?
16:15
[SPEAKER_02]: You are my favorite.
16:17
[SPEAKER_02]: In that moment when I'm talking to you, you are my favorite.
16:21
[SPEAKER_02]: That moment is what matters.
16:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And I explain to them that all six of you are my favorite.
16:26
[SPEAKER_02]: But yeah, they busted me.
16:28
[SPEAKER_02]: That's all right.
16:30
[SPEAKER_00]: It got you.
16:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Awesome.
16:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Oops, did I just say that?
16:35
[SPEAKER_00]: We've all been there.
16:37
[SPEAKER_00]: One tiny comment, and suddenly you're adult child pulls away or shuts down.
16:42
[SPEAKER_00]: As moms, we mean well, but some phrases do more harm than good.
16:46
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I created a free guy just for you.
16:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Ten things not to say to your adult child, and five ways to stop yourself from saying them.
16:55
[SPEAKER_00]: It's packed with practical wisdom to help you speak with love,
16:59
[SPEAKER_00]: not regret.
17:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Grab your copy today at the link in the show notes and start buildingconnection.conflict.
17:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, let's get back to our conversation.
17:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's move on to talking about how do we love our grandkids well?
17:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Who we don't see every day?
17:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Every time someone says, oh my grandkids are five minutes down the way, I'm just like, oh no, I'm blessed to you, I or I would give it.
17:25
[SPEAKER_00]: thing to be close to my grand babies in proximity.
17:29
[SPEAKER_00]: So how do you do it?
17:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to let Cresco first.
17:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm a lot of things to say on this subject, but my brown eyes get green when we talk about proximity.
17:40
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, they just turn green because create.
17:42
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to let her tell you about her situation where she lives in the midst of everybody and then I'm going to speak to it as well.
17:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Going to create
17:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I do, I'm so blessed that I live on the same street with all of my great grants except for one.
17:59
[SPEAKER_01]: We're right here now too now because I had one last week.
18:03
[SPEAKER_01]: It's almost getting hard to keep up with the great grants here.
18:06
[SPEAKER_01]: But she's moving in with me in a couple of weeks.
18:09
[SPEAKER_01]: So she'll be in the neighborhood to ask their as let's move it in.
18:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, they're moving back to her.
18:14
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm so excited.
18:16
[SPEAKER_01]: But yes, we do live on the same street and I live on the same street with all the grandkids and the great grandkids.
18:22
[SPEAKER_01]: It's we're all in the same property.
18:24
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like it is like a little communist kind of crazy.
18:27
[SPEAKER_01]: We didn't start out.
18:28
[SPEAKER_01]: We didn't think that was going to happen when we bought this land.
18:31
[SPEAKER_01]: We actually inherited this land from Johnny's dad and then was just like one after the other said, y'all mind if we build their mind, okay, sure.
18:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Like we didn't have this big grand scheme.
18:40
[SPEAKER_01]: But my mom is still alive.
18:43
[SPEAKER_01]: She's not even four.
18:43
[SPEAKER_01]: She's across the street.
18:44
[SPEAKER_01]: My mother, brother, my sister, Johnny's sister, Cory, and four of her kids are on the same land.
18:52
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it's, it's, it's it.
18:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, how many acres is it all?
18:58
[SPEAKER_01]: We started out with forty, but we're really on maybe about twenty work.
19:02
[SPEAKER_01]: We're side by side, but it's not like right next door.
19:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Like it's a little bit of a walk.
19:07
[SPEAKER_02]: It's the hundred anchor winds of winning a place.
19:10
[SPEAKER_02]: That doesn't it.
19:13
[SPEAKER_01]: That it's not just so fun, but I do have three great kids who were in Huntsville.
19:18
[SPEAKER_01]: all of their life.
19:19
[SPEAKER_01]: So everybody was here except the three enhanced volume they moved when they were probably four, five and six.
19:25
[SPEAKER_01]: It was just devastated.
19:27
[SPEAKER_01]: I did not want my kids to move.
19:29
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't want my grandkids to move.
19:30
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's been great and so fine.
19:33
[SPEAKER_01]: And we just kept the road hot.
19:35
[SPEAKER_01]: It's about seven hour drive.
19:37
[SPEAKER_01]: We were still there for every musical, every ball game that we could be not every ball game because that's a lot of money.
19:44
[SPEAKER_01]: being major thing we were there I kept them a lot when my daughter and her husband were on trips they would come here they would spend the summer with me and just be out at camp with me for the summer so you know we just kept that open and I will
20:01
[SPEAKER_01]: in any given day here from from all my great my youngest is twenty one and he's also working again December and the oldest is John Lou at twenty nine and then all the rest are in the between there any given day I will talk to five or six of them which is amazing even the ones who don't live here though I have to and I have to and to a handful
20:24
[SPEAKER_01]: in one in seaside.
20:27
[SPEAKER_01]: But they grew up so close to us that so now as adults, they are just in the mix all the time calling me show me something face time and all the things that we have available these days and I know Shelley's going to speak to that too because we have so much available to stay in touch with our green kids today.
20:44
[SPEAKER_01]: It's amazing.
20:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
20:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And if we do, I'm just here to witness exactly what Chris is saying, it will pay off.
20:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, you will form that bond that then it gets easier when they're older for them to contact you when they're too.
20:59
[SPEAKER_02]: They can't when they're, you know, seven hours away, granted you have to be there.
21:05
[SPEAKER_02]: But when you're in their lives continually, I did what Chris is talking about.
21:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I have burnt the roads up back and forth to Houston.
21:12
[SPEAKER_02]: But I think it's so important that when I am there with the ones that are out of state, that we do some of the same things.
21:21
[SPEAKER_02]: We create rituals, so that when I'm there, they knew even as little boys, the things that we were going to do together that just created this pattern and this ritual that they
21:31
[SPEAKER_02]: could look forward to our member.
21:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I was leaving once and one of them said, can you do you have to go?
21:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Not us in farms.
21:39
[SPEAKER_02]: We farm here in Lake Romsley's.
21:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And he said, can you do you have to go?
21:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Pots can farm my backyard.
21:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Not going to quite big enough.
21:52
[SPEAKER_02]: God or, but thank you, you know, but because of that intentional effort to go and to stay involved and to meet them halfway for bio games when they're playing somewhere other than home, you can look at their schedule and we were in Dallas a couple of weekends ago to watch one of them play.
22:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I live in Houston, but he was playing in Dallas, so you watch those schedules and you are there when you can.
22:16
[SPEAKER_02]: But in between those times, there are so many things available to us online.
22:21
[SPEAKER_02]: And we have some of this on our website.
22:23
[SPEAKER_02]: You can think of some key words and and find the us that I just want to make you one for instance, Pamela, there's an out code failed, F. E. L. T. And so when I'm with my grandchildren in Houston, I come back and so I'm taking pictures out there with them right about the different things we're doing.
22:41
[SPEAKER_02]: I take them on the individual dinner day.
22:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I've done that since I'm really small.
22:45
[SPEAKER_02]: So just, you know, they're four and we go on a dinner date so that I could have that type of
22:51
[SPEAKER_02]: one-on-one time with them that I enjoy with the end-hand grains.
22:54
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I always made a point to have that one-on-one with them.
22:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And I come home and with this app, I can make a little postcard of our dinner date and the different pictures we took back the end.
23:07
[SPEAKER_02]: It was on the playground, the different things we've done on the playground.
23:11
[SPEAKER_02]: And then in a couple weeks, then I would send them a postcard with those images because it may be two more weeks before I could get back or three more weeks, you know, before I could get back.
23:23
[SPEAKER_02]: So I would just kind of make sure that I touch base with something visual for them to see in the main time.
23:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And that meant a lot to them.
23:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Of course, now you can text, you can message, you can face time, you can do all of these things.
23:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And the reason I say, I love saying that it does pay off is because now the oldest one out there is sixteen and it hasn't been about a couple weeks ago, he message means like
23:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Can you talk?
23:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And I said, sure.
23:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And he called and just wanted to process some things that were happening in its goals and things that was on his heart and just talked for thirty minutes or sixteen year old big child basketball player.
24:05
[SPEAKER_02]: But to all the grandma's that are listed out there, I'm saying that's available.
24:10
[SPEAKER_02]: If you make the effort to stay in there off, to go and go and go and go.
24:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And even if you can't go as often as five to six weeks, if they know that your heart wants to, that your staying in touch with them in between calm, they pick their so smart, they can kick up on that.
24:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's what matters is when they realize they are important to you.
24:32
[SPEAKER_02]: that you they're not distant and out of sight out of mind, but that they're important to you.
24:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Even if you can't get there, it'll pay up.
24:42
[SPEAKER_01]: With my grand tour, it has one thing that really helped me, especially through middle school and high school, as we had a shared calendar with my daughter.
24:50
[SPEAKER_01]: So she shared that calendar.
24:51
[SPEAKER_01]: So I always do what was coming up.
24:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And we could look and see what we had going on here, what we had going on there, what we're going to be able to make it.
24:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And even if I couldn't make it, I could send a message, say, oh, I hear you've got a volume on game today.
25:04
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so rooting for you.
25:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I love you.
25:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I know you're going to do a great job.
25:06
[SPEAKER_01]: It's still let me have a voice in that and then my dawn of air would face time while they're playing.
25:13
[SPEAKER_01]: So I would get a few minutes to see out of seeing that.
25:15
[SPEAKER_01]: So again, it's that taking advantage of all the things we have available today to connect with people.
25:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's beautiful.
25:24
[SPEAKER_00]: It's beautiful.
25:24
[SPEAKER_00]: It's beautiful.
25:25
[SPEAKER_00]: It's beautiful.
25:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Ladies, tell us what legacy means to you and what it looks like as we almost.
25:33
[SPEAKER_02]: For me, I can say, without a doubt, that legacy for me is passing on the faith of Christ.
25:40
[SPEAKER_02]: It is living in a way that I am speaking God's word to them.
25:44
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, Deuteronomy says to talk about his word when you're rising up when you're saying down when you're walking by the path, we leave a legacy in our children's lives, not about just taking them to church on Sunday.
25:57
[SPEAKER_02]: not by just telling them about the ways of Christ.
26:00
[SPEAKER_02]: But when they see that his ways in his presence and the pursuit of Christ is important to me and to my husband in the middle of the week, that that's how we live our lives.
26:11
[SPEAKER_02]: We make a joke about what what Jesus do.
26:13
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, we used to have the bracelets, but truly that's how we live our lives.
26:18
[SPEAKER_02]: What would the Lord do?
26:19
[SPEAKER_02]: What would He have us do in this moment?
26:21
[SPEAKER_02]: to stop and pray constantly, that legal legacy and their miles that they go, they make the connects in the twain.
26:30
[SPEAKER_02]: They are certain the Lord, they love Him and they're drawing from Him.
26:34
[SPEAKER_02]: I had all of them in the car this past week and broke down the side of the end of the state.
26:39
[SPEAKER_02]: My Tahoe was driving and then it did it.
26:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I make this really short that we poured over to the side of the road.
26:44
[SPEAKER_02]: But the first thing I did was say, hey guys, let's pray before our culture blake.
26:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So I just wanted them to see that before I called out to Mayana called out to God.
26:53
[SPEAKER_02]: So legacy for me is about leaving that for them, that that picture of parents and grandparents who are walking what they're saying.
27:03
[SPEAKER_02]: They're, you know, they're walking their tongue.
27:05
[SPEAKER_02]: There's the word.
27:07
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's exactly what I was saying.
27:10
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what leaving a legacy is all about.
27:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't think there's anything that brings kids more security than knowing that their grandparents and their parents are all in the same page with their faith.
27:22
[SPEAKER_01]: They love Jesus.
27:23
[SPEAKER_01]: They're putting God first.
27:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Everything we do is to pass that on to our kids.
27:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Like we don't just
27:29
[SPEAKER_01]: I've heard Cory say just before about the prayer at the end of that dynasty.
27:32
[SPEAKER_01]: We did that just because that's how we do.
27:35
[SPEAKER_01]: It wasn't like in the script.
27:36
[SPEAKER_01]: That's just how we live our life.
27:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
27:39
[SPEAKER_00]: You live your life.
27:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
27:40
[SPEAKER_01]: That's why we'd so living our lives in such a way that we're handing down that faith in God and straight character all those things.
27:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
27:50
[SPEAKER_00]: So what I hear you say today, ladies, is that Grandma, it's to be whoever she is, how God made her with her gifts, her abilities, her physical abilities, or not physical abilities, she can wear pink glasses if she wants to, but what she needs to do most is to be intentional, to be intentional, to build that bond, the bond that lasts
28:14
[SPEAKER_00]: all the child's days, like because this makes our grandkids feel secure.
28:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I want from my kids and eventually my grandkids and then my grandkids.
28:24
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not there yet, but I love that so much.
28:27
[SPEAKER_00]: It is the sweetest season of life.
28:30
[SPEAKER_00]: There's nothing greater than, I can't wait to get a whole minute.
28:35
[SPEAKER_00]: We can help out and say, sit up at all, cook your dinner.
28:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
28:41
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just a blessing.
28:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I want to thank you for joining me today.
28:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would love it if you could tell.
28:48
[SPEAKER_00]: my listeners where they can find you online and then tell me a little bit about how they can grab a free chapter of rocking it grand okay well you can find us at rocking it grand dot com that's exactly how it sounds rocking it grand dot com
29:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And from rocking it, Graham, they can find all of our links.
29:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Our social media links, our podcasts, everything they can find there.
29:11
[SPEAKER_02]: They can get a free copy, an excerpt of our book by just the link that you're going to put in the show notes.
29:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's going to be, it's located on my website.
29:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm glad that a card's maybe because I wanted to tell your listeners that at my website, they can grab a couple of free e-books while they're as well.
29:31
[SPEAKER_02]: For anybody that's listening to us that might think they have a book in them.
29:35
[SPEAKER_02]: There's a free e-book about that and a free e-book about finding margin for the devotional life.
29:41
[SPEAKER_02]: But we have all kinds of information that rocking it grand.
29:45
[SPEAKER_02]: recipes, ideas for holidays, so many things that they can find.
29:49
[SPEAKER_02]: What else did I miss, Chris?
29:52
[SPEAKER_01]: That's it.
29:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, we have so much content on there.
29:55
[SPEAKER_01]: So just check it out.
29:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Awesome.
29:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, thank you so much, ladies.
30:00
[SPEAKER_00]: What a gift this conversation has been.
30:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Chris and Shelley remind us that being a grandma in today's world isn't about perfection or looking a certain way.
30:09
[SPEAKER_00]: It's about presence, purpose, and staying rooted in God's truth.
30:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Whether your grandkids live down the street or across the country, you have influence.
30:18
[SPEAKER_00]: You have a role and most of all, you have a calling to love these kids well.
30:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's your coaching tip of the week.
30:24
[SPEAKER_00]: In each episode, I will give you one actionable step to improve your life.
30:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Remember, you can change everything, but you can take one step to be better.
30:34
[SPEAKER_00]: This week, I want you to think about what does it mean to be intentional with your grandkids?
30:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I love how Shelley talked about the routines that she has.
30:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Is there a routine that you could start?
30:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's something you could add.
30:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's something you could improve upon.
30:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Just take a little time this week and think about that and then ask the Lord to help you implement it.
30:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to thank you for listening today.
30:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And if this episode encouraged you, would you take a moment and share it with a grandma who needs some encouragement.
31:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And don't forget to check out rocking a grin.
31:05
[SPEAKER_00]: wherever you listen to podcasts.
31:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And until next time, keep walking in Faith Mama, you are deeply loved and never alone.
31:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for spending time with me on the Midlife Mama podcast.
31:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope you leave each episode feeling a little more encouraged, equipped, and seen because that's what this space is all about.
31:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Through the stories, insights, and conversations we share here, I'm coaching you through the ups and downs of the empty nest, helping you rediscover purpose, deepen faith, and enjoy this new season of life.
31:34
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're ready for an even more personalized support, I'd love to invite you to book a free connection call.
31:40
[SPEAKER_00]: The link is in the show notes and we'll talk about how I can walk alongside you as your coach.
31:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And let's stay connected.
31:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Follow me on Instagram at P-Hinkleman.
31:49
[SPEAKER_00]: That's P-H-E-N-K-E-L-M-A-N, or come find me on Facebook at Pamela Hinkleman, M-D-Nest Coach.
31:57
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to figure this all out on your own, Mama.
32:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here for you when you're ready.