Latest / In His Circle / Stand for a Sister: Cultivating Connection and Resilience through Trust and Prayer | Ep 20

Transcript

Stand for a Sister: Cultivating Connection and Resilience through Trust and Prayer | Ep 20 · In His Circle

• 0:00
  Announcer: Welcome to In His Circle, from women for women.
• 0:03
  Announcer: We're here to help you find peace in knowing you are in God's hands.
• 0:08
  Announcer: Our goal is sharing the Word of God in simple conversations.
• 0:12
  Announcer: We're here to help you thrive every day.
• 0:15
  Announcer: And now, here is your host.
• 0:18
  Tiffany Windsor: Good morning.
• 0:19
  Tiffany Windsor: I'm Tiffany Windsor.
• 0:20
  Mary Koning: And I'm Mary Koning.
• 0:22
  Tiffany Windsor: And Mary.
• 0:23
  Tiffany Windsor: Today I want to talk about Stand for a Sister.
• 0:26
  Tiffany Windsor: If you would start us off in prayer first, please.
• 0:30
  Mary Koning: Psalm 107, let the redeemed tell their story.
• 0:33
  Mary Koning: So when we stand for a sister, we're telling our story without judgment, with authentic power and knowing that we're safe in God's hands.
• 0:43
  Mary Koning: In Jesus' name, amen.
• 0:47
  Tiffany Windsor: So the subtopic today of Stand for a Sister is it takes a community.
• 0:53
  Tiffany Windsor: Mary and I have been talking about our circle sisters and where everyone is on their path.
• 1:01
  Tiffany Windsor: And how do we stand for our sisters?
• 1:04
  Tiffany Windsor: One is on their path, and how do we stand for our sisters?
• 1:09
  Tiffany Windsor: Well, first of all, we need to be in our authenticity to be able to be that safe place for our circle sisters to come to us when they need guidance.
• 1:17
  Tiffany Windsor: We have to learn to be authentic and in today's world that can be difficult for so many people because they're following and walking on the wrong path.
• 1:28
  Tiffany Windsor: As opposed to listening to what God is telling them, they are sizing themselves up against other women, other marriages, other families.
• 1:41
  Tiffany Windsor: We don't know all the things that go on in these other relationships and I think we may be sizing ourselves up against something that really isn't the truth.
• 1:51
  Tiffany Windsor: I know we'll talk about this, but I just want to get to the point to have this discussion of how do we be the source for people to come to in our little community, in our little villages, and then an extended community throughout the world.
• 2:11
  Mary Koning: And I think that power comes from God first, that we have to have that relationship solid, Otherwise we're going to be moved and blown and knocked over and affected by other people's chaos or circumstances or unhappiness.
• 2:30
  Mary Koning: So when we're solid with God, we know that we're redeemed, we know that we're loved with an everlasting love.
• 2:38
  Mary Koning: We know that if we can't handle something we're hearing, we need to be honest about it.
• 2:43
  Mary Koning: And if we can't handle it, then speak the truth in love but not shoulder those things.
• 2:47
  Mary Koning: I've had to learn that lesson often and over again, where a lot of the trauma and chaos isn't my burden to bear.
• 2:56
  Mary Koning: It's just a point of prayer.
• 2:58
  Tiffany Windsor: Certainly when what I've learned and listened is when you're going through therapy, they take you back to childhood.
• 3:05
  Tiffany Windsor: I will certainly be inquisitive about different circle sisters' childhood experiences and you talk about trauma and parenting and all the things that go on in their lives.
• 3:16
  Tiffany Windsor: I thought it was really interesting when you were talking to me about third graders and you talked about drama and I said what drama do third graders have?
• 3:25
  Tiffany Windsor: And this is going to give everyone who's listening a really great perspective of when you don't deal with those issues as a child.
• 3:33
  Tiffany Windsor: You will grow up with those issues, because a lot of women have the same issues that you're going to talk about.
• 3:39
  Mary Koning: I think the first one I see is denial.
• 3:41
  Mary Koning: So if someone's doing something they shouldn't be doing and they know the classroom rules very well it's always somebody else's fault.
• 3:48
  Mary Koning: It's always pointing in some other direction rather than just owning it.
• 3:52
  Mary Koning: And denial is basically item one in my trail guide, which is are we going to deny the reality of the situation or are we going to face it?
• 4:02
  Mary Koning: Face it with power, and not my power, but power through me and Jesus Christ.
• 4:14
  Mary Koning: So just owning it is a huge, huge thing, and not taking on any shame around the just owning it Like we are not perfect there was only one perfect person who walked the earth.
• 4:19
  Mary Koning: So to just own it and to know that we're learning and growing every single day of our life until we meet with Jesus in heaven.
• 4:26
  Mary Koning: And then being jealous of someone else's you know, not just physical or even what they're wearing or where they live, but it's jealous of, maybe, their peace and their gifts, their abilities, maybe able to roll with things more and not take things personally, also competitive, whether it's academically or physically.
• 4:48
  Mary Koning: And then sharing secrets and I've heard a few things about sharing secrets or sharing intimate details where asking a friend can you handle hearing this right now.
• 4:57
  Mary Koning: Can you take it to the vault, like Brene Brown says?
• 5:00
  Mary Koning: Can you hold this in confidence?
• 5:02
  Mary Koning: You take it to the vault, like Brene Brown says.
• 5:04
  Mary Koning: Can you hold this in confidence?
• 5:09
  Mary Koning: And if you cannot, please be honest, because that's how we become circle sisters is not opening up that feather pillow and tossing those feathers to the wind, which is gossip and talking, and then try and go back and gather every single feather.
• 5:18
  Mary Koning: If we cannot hold that feather pillow closed for a sister, don't hear that information.
• 5:24
  Mary Koning: Just be honest with yourself about that, and I'm trying.
• 5:29
  Mary Koning: I have to be honest.
• 5:30
  Mary Koning: I feel like I can do that, but sometimes I just cannot, and so I need to be careful.
• 5:34
  Mary Koning: Be careful with a sister's secret, and I want to be a safe person.
• 5:40
  Mary Koning: I want to be a trusted friend and I want to be a safe person.
• 5:47
  Mary Koning: I want to be a trusted friend, and so my MO is what I try to do is, if I hear a sister share something with me, I pray and then I forget it.
• 5:50
  Mary Koning: I pray and forget.
• 5:51
  Mary Koning: I can't hold onto it because it's not meant for me to hold, it's meant for God to hold and his hands are big enough.
• 5:57
  Tiffany Windsor: This is where your trail guides are going to come in, so helpful for so many women.
• 6:01
  Tiffany Windsor: Because we forget in the moment.
• 6:04
  Tiffany Windsor: We forget to go back and use the tools that we know or ask our circle sisters for advice.
• 6:10
  Tiffany Windsor: There's some sort of fear of being authentic and letting other sisters know that things may not be going so well.
• 6:19
  Tiffany Windsor: I've never had this experience before, mary, of all of the opportunity we have had to talk and chat and talk in depth and be authentic with each other and support each other.
• 6:30
  Tiffany Windsor: It takes community, it takes time for that, and we're not giving ourselves enough time in community to share like that.
• 6:39
  Tiffany Windsor: I think that some women will just dip their toe into the water and maybe test the friendship quality.
• 6:46
  Tiffany Windsor: We've had wonderful gatherings at your home with beautiful women and some of them are more open about talking about what's going on.
• 6:54
  Tiffany Windsor: I know that they have other avenues to do that.
• 6:56
  Tiffany Windsor: I would love to see women have at least one battle buddy that they know that they can always come to when they need advice, as opposed to trying to hide it behind something.
• 7:08
  Tiffany Windsor: Obviously, the first thing that we do is turn to prayer and turn to God, but sometimes we need to talk to hide it behind something.
• 7:12
  Tiffany Windsor: Obviously, the first thing that we do is turn to prayer and turn to God, but sometimes we need to talk to another woman who can give us some beautiful advice to help us in that day, in that moment, in that week, in that month, in that year, to grow.
• 7:25
  Tiffany Windsor: This is all about growing.
• 7:27
  Mary Koning: And I like what you said, Tiffany, about talking with someone.
• 7:31
  Mary Koning: There's something about verbalizing, making sound and putting words to what is going on.
• 7:38
  Mary Koning: My quiet time, when I journal in the morning, I was talking to God.
• 7:41
  Mary Koning: I was praying for my children.
• 7:43
  Mary Koning: They're just heavy on my heart these days.
• 7:48
  Tiffany Windsor: And you know you have a circle of sisters who are praying every day for you and your children.
• 7:54
  Tiffany Windsor: Can you put a word to what you're feeling right now?
• 7:57
  Tiffany Windsor: Heavy, heavy, heavy-hearted.
• 8:00
  Mary Koning: Okay, my last little chick left yesterday, so I'm getting better at missing them but also just releasing them in their journey to God.
• 8:15
  Mary Koning: That's hard.
• 8:18
  Tiffany Windsor: Well, look at the authenticity you have in speaking your truth right now.
• 8:22
  Tiffany Windsor: I know because you've had these moments before in some of our past podcasts.
• 8:28
  Tiffany Windsor: I cannot believe the feedback we get from women who listen to the podcast and they're so grateful of you being honest in your moment.
• 8:40
  Tiffany Windsor: So I thank you today for that, because we have talked this morning, we've been together for several hours and I did not know how deeply that was on your heart and so I thank you.
• 8:51
  Tiffany Windsor: Thank you, circle Sister.
• 8:56
  Tiffany Windsor: I think when you in these moments I know you do this where you turn to God in prayer because the pressure and heaviness that you're feeling is you trying to solve this moment and this is not your burden to carry.
• 9:14
  Tiffany Windsor: You have raised three incredible children and you have given them tools to come into their teen years and young adults and they're venturing out in the world and they're experiencing life.
• 9:28
  Tiffany Windsor: You have been a beautiful, loving mother to them.
• 9:32
  Tiffany Windsor: I know it has to be challenging because I do not have children For whatever feeling that you have to go through in processing this of letting go, but you're not losing them in that letting go and I wish I could give more words to you to say oh, I've had experience and I know what this feels like.
• 9:51
  Tiffany Windsor: I don't.
• 9:53
  Tiffany Windsor: I just send blessings of love and support to lift that heaviness from your heart, because the Lord knows what your children need and the Lord knows what you need.
• 10:06
  Mary Koning: And thank you for those beautiful words.
• 10:07
  Mary Koning: It has been about releasing them to God, and on a good day I remember that.
• 10:14
  Mary Koning: And today is about remembering to release them back to God because you know they're older and I'm not with them every day.
• 10:23
  Mary Koning: It's a release of control from toddlerhood, you know, when I could control what they ate when they slept, and that's a bit of an unhealthy under control to releasing them into these adult decisions that they're making.
• 10:37
  Mary Koning: That I may not agree with everything, but it's part of their testimony.
• 10:40
  Mary Koning: So I'm trying to remember they have a story and their path is one that they've chosen and there's power in that, because I am not choosing this path for them.
• 10:50
  Mary Koning: So they will have to process and understand the choices they're making and the path they're taking as part of their journey back to God.
• 11:01
  Mary Koning: It's so powerful to speak those words over them and that's what God was telling me.
• 11:06
  Mary Koning: He said you're praying for them in your mind, but I want you to pray for them out loud, because there's something about the sound as God spoke the world into being.
• 11:16
  Mary Koning: There's something powerful about our out loud prayers.
• 11:20
  Mary Koning: So, just by myself, I was just claiming authority over my home and my children and their futures, that they can come to know who they are in Christ, their true identity.
• 11:33
  Mary Koning: And I pray that for all of us circle sisters, that we stand for a sister, that we need each other so much to speak out loud prayers to just own our poor choices and our great choices, to celebrate with each other as we have successes and mourn when we have losses, and not be shamed when we make mistakes, because mistakes are part of life.
• 11:57
  Mary Koning: And when did it not become okay to make a mistake that we don't have it all figured out but we know the one and we trust the one who does?
• 12:06
  Tiffany Windsor: Well, I stand with you.
• 12:08
  Tiffany Windsor: My sister and I know that you and your children are protected by the Lord through every step that they make, and you are all going to flourish.
• 12:19
  Tiffany Windsor: I am so delighted to be witnessing this with you.
• 12:24
  Mary Koning: And maybe at some point we'll talk about what the actual kind of challenges and struggles are.
• 12:29
  Mary Koning: But one of the words I was considering for this year was blooming, and so we will watch the blooming unfold.
• 12:36
  Mary Koning: And I think you know in my mind I was talking with God about how blooming, oh, it's so beautiful and it's just so unfolding and he's like it's a process.
• 12:46
  Mary Koning: If you were a flower, you would know that you've got to break through the outer hard covering and that all of that it takes so much preparation the seed in the ground where it feels like death, cold and dark, and then pushing through all the things you've had to push through and that's the dirt to emerge.
• 13:08
  Mary Koning: But you're not done yet.
• 13:09
  Mary Koning: Now you see some sunshine and yet you still have to push and grow.
• 13:14
  Mary Koning: And it's not necessarily all me, you know it's not out of my own power, it's out of God's power.
• 13:20
  Mary Koning: But we're still not at the flower bud yet.
• 13:23
  Mary Koning: So just keep going, little, little flower.
• 13:26
  Mary Koning: I'd like to end with Song of Solomon, chapter 2, verse 2.
• 13:32
  Mary Koning: Like a lily among the thorns is my darling among the young women.
• 13:36
  Mary Koning: Lord, we just are grateful.
• 13:38
  Mary Koning: We are your beautiful flowers.
• 13:40
  Mary Koning: You're delighted with us.
• 13:42
  Mary Koning: You have great plans for us.
• 13:45
  Mary Koning: In Proverbs 31, we are the women.
• 13:48
  Mary Koning: We laugh at the future because it's full of your beautiful surprises and friendships and hope.
• 13:56
  Mary Koning: So, lord, I speak that over us In Jesus name, amen.
• 14:01
  Tiffany Windsor: Amen.
• 14:03
  Announcer: Thank you for joining us for today's podcast.
• 14:05
  Announcer: For more information, go to InHisCirclecom.
• 14:09
  Announcer: Sign up for our newsletter and social media.
• 14:10
  Announcer: We love your feedback.
• 14:10
  Announcer: Please more information, go to InHisCirclecom.
• 14:11
  Announcer: Sign up for our newsletter and social media.
• 14:11
  Announcer: We love your feedback.
• 14:13
  Announcer: Please leave reviews, comments and subscribe to this podcast to help us get the word out about In His Circle.
• 14:19
  Announcer: Thank you and, dear friends, have a blessed day.