Latest / How Hard Can It Be? with Diana Maria Riva / Shaun Robinson on Aging Out Loud, the Power of Representation, and Helping the Next Generation

Transcript

Shaun Robinson on Aging Out Loud, the Power of Representation, and Helping the Next Generation · How Hard Can It Be? with Diana Maria Riva

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You know how some of your girlfriends are your cheerleaders
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: and others are your bodyguard and a few of them
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: out there are your Yoda? Well, my next guest is
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: all three and we'll talk about it. We'll also talk
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: about carrying the weight of other people's opinions, a soft
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: launch on being 60, and what would happen if we
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: let go of the fear. Really, how hard can it be? Hi,
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  Speaker 1: I'm Diana Maria Riva, host of How Hard Can It Be,
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: a podcast where we discuss midlife and navigating its most
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  Speaker 1: fantastic bullshit. And I'm here with an incredibly smart, talented,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: beautiful woman. She's also an award-winning psychologist.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Journalist.
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  Speaker 1: She got her start as a TV news reporter, came
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  Speaker 1: out onto the scene on Access Hollywood. And we know
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  Speaker 1: her today from being the host of 90 Day Fiancé
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: and all of his franchises and navigating that drama, something
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  Speaker 1: that I do want to talk about. She's also an
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  Speaker 1: author and a philanthropist. Please welcome my guest, Sean Ross.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Thank you. I got to tell you, you are so fly.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: I love you so much. You are just so fly.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Your energy. You just like, there's some people when they
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: walk into the room, like the, it just, the room
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: is just lighter and funnier. And you know, yes. So
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: you have that. That's very special. Look at how we're
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: starting this. She flatters me. Thank you. I am in
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: awe being given the opportunity. I'm an actor. I'm not
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  Speaker 2: a journalist.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: I'm not a journalist. I didn't study journalism like you did.
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  Speaker 1: And being given the opportunity to sit with a journalist,
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  Speaker 1: an accomplished one, an acclaimed one.
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  Speaker 2: Makes me nervous.
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  Speaker 1: But I also know how much you welcome women into
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  Speaker 1: your space and want them to dive in and try.
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  Speaker 2: Yes.
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  Speaker 1: So I am just very grateful that you are... When
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: your name came up, I was like, could you please
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  Speaker 1: ask her? Because I met you for the first time
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: very briefly a few months ago.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: Yes, we were at Soho House. We were at Soho House.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: West Hollywood. Yes. And you were with one of my
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: favorite ladies, Lisa Vidal. I mean, she is... Amazing. The
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Shirley to Myla Verne. And do you remember what we saw,
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: what I told you was coming that night? The lunar...
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: It was a rising of the full moon. Oh, it was... Yeah, remember?
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: The moon came over the horizon. I've never seen it
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: that big. I know, it was beautiful. And so I'm
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: like a moon child and I follow the phases just
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: because I find it... So it makes me realize that
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  Speaker 2: there is something so much bigger out there than us. Yes.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: And so I'm glad that we had that moon rising
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: experience together.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: I'm glad that you mentioned it because I'm a moon child.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I am the last day of cancer, July 22nd.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: You're a cancer?
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Stop it. Yes. You are too, aren't you? July 11th. Yes.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: You're my sister's birthday. That's right. You're my sister's birthday? Yes. 7-11.
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  Speaker 2: I have to say, that is the best birthday of
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  Speaker 2: the entire year. You cannot find a better... It's the
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: middle of the summer. It's the middle of the summer.
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  Speaker 2: Everybody's happy. They're on vacation. 7-11. Listen, your sister and me, we've...
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  Speaker 2: It's the best birthday. It is. And you double that,
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  Speaker 2: you got 22. It's 7-22. And this year, I celebrate
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  Speaker 2: my 64th birthday. And you know what?
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: When you talk about embrace the age, embrace the stage,
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  Speaker 1: you do it beautifully.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: You are gorgeous. Thank you. I brought in beauty light.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: We don't need them for her. You are beautiful. Well,
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: thank you. I didn't always embrace it, though. When I
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: got to Access Hollywood in 1999... Uh-huh. That was before
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  Speaker 2: social media. That was before Wikipedia. The good old days.
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  Speaker 2: All that. So when I remember when I got there,
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: there's a girlfriend of mine who lives in L.A. We
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  Speaker 2: were in third grade together in Detroit, Michigan. And she
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: lives there. And she would always say, Sean, can you
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  Speaker 2: just remind me how old we are? Because I know
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  Speaker 2: I see all these interviews you're doing in magazines and
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: you're mentioning a different age in every single interview. I
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  Speaker 2: would shave off like 12 years. Oh, yes. I'm hitting
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  Speaker 2: the big 42. Can't wait. And she's like, Sean, I
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  Speaker 2: just want to just tell me how old we are
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  Speaker 2: just so I can keep up. And so then when...
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  Speaker 2: Your friends will keep you straight. I remember when Wikipedia
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: came out. And girl, they had my age up there.
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  Speaker 2: I said, who do I call at Wikipedia to get
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  Speaker 2: this off of this thing called the internet? What is
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  Speaker 2: this about? Yes, yes.
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  Speaker 1: Do you ever live with any kind of clock telling
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  Speaker 1: you to hurry up, do more things, live more? I
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  Speaker 1: constantly question whether I'm working too much, hustling too much,
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  Speaker 1: and not truly having those moments of real life.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, yes. And I try to remind myself that... Happiness
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  Speaker 2: is not coming down the line. Happiness is right here
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  Speaker 2: where we are right now. I woke up last night
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: and I made the mistake of looking at my phone
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  Speaker 2: and there was a text from a high school classmate
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  Speaker 2: of ours. And she said that a classmate of ours
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  Speaker 2: had passed away. Oh, no. And I went to— and what's
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  Speaker 2: so crazy is I had just seen— we had just had
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  Speaker 2: our reunion, our high school reunion, 10 months ago in Detroit, Michigan. Oh,
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  Speaker 2: and that person was there? Yes. She was the one
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: who arranged the high school reunions. Oh, my God. Okay. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: She was the one who would arrange the high school
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  Speaker 2: reunions and would notify us if any classmate of ours
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  Speaker 2: had passed away. Now, my class, we had about 800
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  Speaker 2: kids in my graduating class in high school. That's big.
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  Speaker 2: Grew up in Detroit, Michigan, Cass Tech High School. Dinah
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  Speaker 2: Ross was one of our famous alumni. And- She, this woman, Arisa, who,
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: God rest her soul, she was the one that would
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  Speaker 2: always keep us updated on what classmates had passed away.
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  Speaker 2: Last August, when we had our, but I graduated from
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  Speaker 2: high school in 1980. So we had our reunion. Was
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: that 45? 45th or 45th reunion. And there was a
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  Speaker 2: table there. And little, like little kind of plaques, if
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: you will, small plaques of all of our classmates that
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: had passed away. There were 51, 51 high school classmates
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  Speaker 2: who had passed away. But granted, this was a class
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  Speaker 2: of 800 plus, really closer to 900. Right. but there
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  Speaker 2: were 51 people that were no longer there. Wow. And
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: when I looked at, and I took a picture of it,
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  Speaker 2: and when I looked at the table, I said, shit, man.
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  Speaker 2: There before the grace of God, go I. Go I.
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  Speaker 2: And listen, one day, We're all going to be dead. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: So you better enjoy it right now. You better stop
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  Speaker 2: thinking about that little bullshit that makes you upset. Somebody
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  Speaker 2: said something about you or your fat thighs or your wrinkle.
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  Speaker 2: You better start enjoying it right now. Yeah. Because pretty
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: soon there's going to be another generation of people looking
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: back on us. Yeah. And we're going to be out
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  Speaker 2: of here. Yes. So I've had to adopt that attitude. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, and how about in the moment course correcting? Are
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: you good at that? When you find yourself in that
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  Speaker 1: little what I call swirling the toilet bowl?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. Well, it depends on what it is. I
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  Speaker 2: get when it's something about myself, like, oh, you know,
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  Speaker 2: somebody said something that made me upset. You know, I
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: find I kind of wallow in it, and then I
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: have to kind of snap myself out of it. If
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  Speaker 2: it's somebody that I'm concerned about, somebody else. Mm-hmm. Then
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  Speaker 2: I start, I look at it differently, but I want
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  Speaker 2: them to get out of it. I'm like, step out
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  Speaker 2: of it, you know? And I have to remind myself
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  Speaker 2: that I need to do the same. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: But how do you, are you good at letting go
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  Speaker 1: what's not yours?
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  Speaker 2: I didn't used to be. I used to be horrible
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  Speaker 2: at letting go. I used to really, really be horrible
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  Speaker 2: at letting go of something. And it was, I think
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  Speaker 2: it was based in the fear of, that that was
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  Speaker 2: as good as it was going to get, whether it
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  Speaker 2: was a person, a relationship, whether it was a job,
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  Speaker 2: whether it was just a project. I was thinking, is
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  Speaker 2: that all there's going to be? And that's why I
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  Speaker 2: need to hold on to it. And then I remember
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  Speaker 2: as I, you know, as I go along and I
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  Speaker 2: create more opportunities and I meet more people and I
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  Speaker 2: have more ideas about creativity and I help more lives,
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  Speaker 2: I realize, why was I hanging on to that? There
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  Speaker 2: was this guy in high school. He had an afro
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  Speaker 2: out to here. That's me on a Sunday picture. We
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  Speaker 2: thought he was the finest thing.
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  Speaker 1: Yes.
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  Speaker 2: Finest one. I'm not even going to mention his name
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  Speaker 2: because he might be listening to this. Was he at
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: the reunion? He was actually two years ahead of me. Okay, okay. Sorry,
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: I digress. Go ahead. So he really wasn't feeling me.
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  Speaker 2: But I remember seeing him. We were like, oh, my God,
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: there he is walking down the hallway. And I remember
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  Speaker 2: seeing him just kind of years later. You know, wow.
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  Speaker 2: Think of all that time. I really thought that that
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: was like the cat's meow. Like I thought that was it. And,
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: you know, it wasn't. That happens a lot. Yeah. You
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: see people and you're like, I was like, it would
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: have been the everything. Oh, yeah. If I had been
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: asked out by that person. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. No question.
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  Speaker 1: You wrote a book in 2009. So it's been a
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  Speaker 1: minute since you came to a piece of clarity in
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  Speaker 1: your life where you decided to write this book. And
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: this is why I'm bringing it up. Called Exactly As
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  Speaker 1: I Am, Celebrated Women Share Candid Advice With Today's Girls
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: On What It Takes To Believe In Yourself. You wrote
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  Speaker 1: this in 2000 life. It wasn't even midlife. Yeah, but
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: you felt that this was a time to speak up
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  Speaker 1: and have this conversation with women. What propelled you or
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: what was the moment? Because this is like, I want
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  Speaker 1: to give this to myself and my 21-year-old daughter.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I remember and I've been trying, you know,
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  Speaker 2: one of these days I'm going to write a sequel.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: I'm going to get to that sequel. More candid advice
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: for today's girls on what it takes to be. And
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: I wrote that, you know, 2000, I actually started writing
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: it exactly as I am in 2007. And I wrote
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: it to teen girls about believing in yourself and dreaming big.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: Back then, I would get all of these basically letters
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: back then from girls asking me about the celebrities that
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: I interview on the red carpet. Are they as beautiful
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: in person? As they are on TV or on the
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: magazine covers or in the movies, you know, oh my gosh,
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  Speaker 2: you know, the perfection, you know, and I realized then
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: that even though I had this incredible job. Mm-hmm. There
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: were so many girls that were looking at me on
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: TV and were looking at the celebrities because back then
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: they didn't have their own Instagram account where they were
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: being raw and real and whatever. It was you had
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: to turn on the TV. You had to buy the
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: magazine to see the celebrity. And so I wanted I
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: wrote this book to teen girls to let them know
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  Speaker 2: that it doesn't matter how what you're what you look like.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: how much money you have, how much fame you have.
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  Speaker 2: True self-esteem comes from another place. It comes from a
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: much deeper place. And so the celebrities that I talk to,
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  Speaker 2: I ask them, what is your advice to teen girls?
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  Speaker 2: What should they know about where does true self-esteem come from?
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: And I also interviewed girls around the country. I had
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: these task force groups and I asked girls what made
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: them feel good about themselves and what made them feel
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: bad about themselves. And And I remember this young lady said,
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: I think she was about 15 years old. She said,
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: you know, I've never had anybody tell me I was pretty.
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  Speaker 2: That's my father. How old was she? She was 15. Okay.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: She said, you know, my father never said it to me.
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  Speaker 2: I never have a boy said it to me. I
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: never had anybody to tell me I was pretty. So
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: the first boy that told me I was pretty said,
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  Speaker 2: I slept with him and I got pregnant and had
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: a baby. And then I had no boyfriend anymore. And
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: I really felt really unpretty then. And hearing stories from
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: girls like that made me realize how much that book
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: was needed and how much we as women, whatever generation
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  Speaker 2: we come to, reach back to those younger girls and
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  Speaker 2: tell them that, It's not that outside validation that you need.
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  Speaker 2: It comes from in here.
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  Speaker 1: Did you have, because it said here that it was
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: a book with great quotes and advice from a lot
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: of famous people.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: Did you have one famous or favorite one? Yeah, I did.
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  Speaker 2: I wish I had brought the book with me today,
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: but it was from India Ari. Oh, love. And I
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: can't remember exactly verbatim, but she said, you know, she
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: said something about, I was told in the music industry
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: that I did not have a place. My nose did
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: not have a place. My skin color did not have
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: a place. My hair did not have a place. So
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: what I did is I made my own space and
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: a space that is unapologetically mine that I stand firm in.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: And I wish I could say it as incredibly beautiful
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: as she said it. But that was one of my
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: favorite quotes in the book.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: What would you say today is one of those things
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: that you feel women need to hear today?
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: You know, I think that I remember Diane Sawyer in
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: the book talked about as much as she had accomplished.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: She said, you know, when do I feel insecure? And
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: she says, anytime I look in a three-way mirror. And
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: we are constantly looking at our bodies, looking at our hair,
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: looking at whatever and saying it is not good enough.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: And now it's so interesting. We got to be, let
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: me just say, we got to be super duper, duper
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: savvy people. about these AI images online. Yes, we do.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: And I consider myself kind of savvy, and then afterwards,
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: like I'm looking, I'm following an influencer, and I'm looking...
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: And I'm looking, I'm following them for like a few weeks.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: And then I realized, I said, something is off about
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: this person. And then I look on the account and
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: I see, oh, it's AI. Yes. There are a lot of,
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: it's getting better and better. And the reason I bring
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: it up is, you talk about perfection in terms of
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: what we think of as looks before. Now, it's Like
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: it is literally crazy. And so my concern, obviously, is
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: with the younger generation coming up that are seeing these images.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: These are their first images of what beauty is supposed
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: to be. And we as the OGs. Yes. Okay. We
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: as the OGs. We've been through this. Yeah. But even
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: we're kind of being fooled by it. So it is
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: imperative among all of us. to say to whatever generation, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s,
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: that do not compare yourself to anybody, nobody. There's no comparison.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: There's no comparison between the sun and the moon. There's
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: no comparison between you and anybody else. And if somebody
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: likes you, apple pie and you a peach cobbler, let
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: them have at it. That's right. Yeah. So, you know,
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  Speaker 2: I just want us, you know, I just want us
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: to stop being so hard on ourselves.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, that's the holy grail, I think, right now. I
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: think any generation, but right now, the giving ourselves grace
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: is And grace doesn't mean like, it's okay that you
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: have the thighs now. It's grace that, no, your thighs
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: look beautiful and you've earned the smile lines. And I
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: have my scars for a reason. I look back on
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: my life and I'm really proud of it. And raising
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: my children, even as a single mother, I raised a
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: son and he is out there being an impeccable gentleman
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: and working hard. And I've raised a resilient ass daughter
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: who can mow the lawn and take care of herself
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: and love herself fiercely and unapologetically. So I had my
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: own bumps along the way, but I don't apologize for
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: those bumps.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And, you know, I don't, scars that I've had,
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: physical scars from surgeries or whatever or falls or whatever.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: I used to be so self-conscious about them, and I
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: am no longer that way anymore. I really, it's like,
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: you know, there are, sometimes I see, you know, my
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: sisters out there, and I used to be, and I
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: used to be like, oh, wow, that's kind of short.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: That's kind of tight. That's kind of this. I don't
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: know about that. But now you mean like when you
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: see somebody. But now I'm just like, listen, you wear
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: it for you and I'm going to wear it for me.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: And there, you know, yeah, sometimes I would, you know,
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: I would try on something and I'd go, oh, no,
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: this is too tight. I don't know. This might be
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: too tight to see through. And I'm thinking, you know what?
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: If it is a little too see-through, they shouldn't be looking.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: That's right. Just don't look. That's right.
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: Just don't look. Yes. Okay. Yeah.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: There's nothing that bothers me more than, look, I grew
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: up with body issues, and I still have them sometimes.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Oddly enough, in my business, I have such stone-cold issues. resilience, self-esteem,
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: that you can't say shit to me about my body
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: and the business and I will ever buy into it.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: And for some reason then, nobody has ever said shit
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: to me about my body and the business. I've worn
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: tighter clothes in this industry, being a full-figured woman than
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: I ever do in my life. And I wish I
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: had had that self-esteem and that self-confidence in other areas
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: of my life, but that's just where it was. It
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: landed with work, which was good because it was very protective.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: But I think that one of the most important things
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: about this chapter is how we do it for each other.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: And when some criticizes something that I'm wearing, I don't
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: handle it well. It's just I start to deal with this.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: I battle the insecurity, which is historical. And then I
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: have to figure out how I come out of it
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: so it doesn't keep me back in the past.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so you're saying when somebody says something about what
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: you're wearing, you are internalizing it or are you saying,
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: screw you?
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: I first start to internalize it because it's a trigger.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: It's a natural trigger. And then I have to find
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: a way of saying, screw you, without saying, screw you.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: Right, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: Because I think this is what, I get it if
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: you don't, you know, like it on me, but don't
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: make me feel bad about it. You know, I, you know,
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: on my worst days, I'm still... A presentable woman. Like,
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: what the fuck?
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: And it's triggering. Yeah, yeah. Were you... Do you mind
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: me asking? When you say full-figured, are you talking about...
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Were you a larger size than you are now?
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: I was a larger size than I was. But even then,
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: I don't know if people would have called me full-figured.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: I think just those are the terms that I go
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: in the industry, that I'm considered a full-figured woman.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: And that's okay. I've got curves and I like them. Like,
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: I'm like... But I'm not, you know.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: You know, the standard in television film is like this big.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: Great.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: There's a place for it. But I will say that
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: my figure never got in the way of my work.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: It didn't keep me from the roles that I was
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: going up for. But I also went in unapologetically for
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: those roles.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: And my team supported me with that, too. And I
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: kind of wonder, what does full figure mean?
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: I mean... I think it depends on the generation you ask.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: I think in our generation, it was, you know, I
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: look at Marilyn Monroe and I see that the dresses
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: she wore and I'm like, how the hell was she
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: a 14?
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: The size 14 has changed. She's this big. This big.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: When I go to a museum and I see her dresses,
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: I'm like, she was tiny. She was tiny. I don't
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: get it.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: I think for me, I have that hourglass shape, but
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: I'm just not, I'm not skinny.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: I'm not tiny. Well, see, I guess maybe that's what
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: I'm getting at, is that we have been sold this
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: bill of goods. You're a full-figured woman. Yeah. Look at
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: me using their language. Yeah. What does that even mean?
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: You're right. Does it mean you have breasts? I don't
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: know what that means. That I have booty?
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: Exactly. Yeah. Once again, we are centering what they have
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: told us we need to be. You're a woman. I'm
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: a woman, yeah. Right.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: I have curves and hips and things that God gave me.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: Yes, right. And I have an awesome pair of legs.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: I have my things, you know? And have you always
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: been this way? No. Okay.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: Let me just go back a little bit more. Did
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: I read somewhere that you had a large family? So
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: I have a large extended family. I ask because I
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: just wondered, did you grow up with women? Were you
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: nurtured in this? Or did you learn this in growing
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: and becoming the woman that you are?
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: So I have always, in terms of, let's just talk
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: in terms of body image. Mm-hmm. I always had, I've
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: always been thin framed, full figure, thin framed. Okay. I've
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: always been thin framed. I could eat whatever I wanted
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: and still be a size, whatever the sizes that they had, zero,
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: double zero, two, whatever. So I was, you know, listen,
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: I grew up with women. Oh, how do you get
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: so thin? How do you, how do you, how do
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: you do it? You know? So I never had that
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: type of body image. I think maybe, you know, at
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: one time, like I said, maybe I should, you know,
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: get a boob job. So I never really felt that
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: my body should be different. Now, when I started to
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: get older and I would always go to the gym,
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: I've been very physically active throughout my life and I eat,
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: I've got a, thing for candy, jelly beans, licorice, things
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: like that. But I pretty much maintained a healthy lifestyle. However,
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: getting older, I realized that I have to work at
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: it a little harder, a little more. And what I'm
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: working on is strength, like strength training. Because when I
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: see older women in my family and they have trouble
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: getting up the stairs or they have trouble getting off
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: the sofa, whatever, I think, okay, it may just be
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: me trying to get up. So I may be the
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: only person I can depend on to get me up
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: off the floor. So let me try to make sure
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: I stay in as good a shape as possible. My
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: thing when I was growing up, was always, and especially
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: like in my community, you know, hair was my hair,
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: just like India Arie said in the book about, did
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: her hair fit? And wanting to have, you know, maybe
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: slimmer features, keener features, and looser curled hair, things like that,
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: you know, and thinking that You know, I would be
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: prettier if I had that. So those were the messages
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: that I was getting. As a girl watching TV, you know,
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: I was watching television in the 60s and 70s and
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: didn't see women that looked like me. I remember I
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: would come home from school. My elementary school was near
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: my grandmother's house, so often I would stay at her
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: house during the week and, you know, Evening news. I'd
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: watch my cartoons, Speed Racer, Little Rascals, Monsters. And then
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: my grandmother would turn on the evening news and there
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: was this black woman on the evening news. Her name
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: was Beverly Payne. She was the first African-American female anchor
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: in Michigan. And I remember just sitting at the TV,
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: just gazing at her and looking at her and thinking
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: she was different because she looked like me. And I
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: didn't see any other images that looked like me. And
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: even though I never met Beverly Payne, she was the
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: first person that put me on the path to becoming
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: a journalist. She was the one that I looked at
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: and said, there's something different about her that is really special.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: And just years later, I always tell the story about
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: that was the inspiration because I didn't see myself validated. Mm-hmm.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: On the shows that I was watching. Yeah. And she
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: was the only one that validated that.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: So that was your one area. That was an area
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: of vulnerability.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: Yes. Yes. Yes. Absolutely.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: And it seems to have sparked a lifetime with starting
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: with that book that you wrote in 2009 and now
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: a foundation that you founded for women. This recurring theme
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: of you really going in and empowering and uplifting women
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: to come from Less place of vulnerability.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes. I want to credit, first of all, I
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: want to credit my beautiful mother, Joanne, and the wonderful grandmothers.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: I had five grandmothers at one time. So I want
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: to take, oh God, oh God, rest their souls. But
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: my college was an all-women's college, Spelman College in Atlanta.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: And it was there that I saw extraordinary women like
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: Coretta Scott King, who would come to the campus. Christine Ferris, Dr.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: Martin Luther King Jr. 's sister, was my English professor. Oh,
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: my goodness. Who demanded excellence of us every single class.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: And she would tell us stories about her brother, Martin
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: Luther King. And Nikki Giovanni was who would come in
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: and who would talk to us about her poetry. I mean,
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: we saw women who were at the forefront of the
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: civil rights movement. And I came out of Spelman with
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: such a sense that I could accomplish anything that I
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: wanted to. And also growing up in Detroit, Michigan, where
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: You know, we had in our community black doctors and
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: lawyers and businesses. And so once I graduated from college
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: and got out into the workforce, and I realized that
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: there were so many folks out there that were saying, oh,
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: you can't accomplish this, Sean, because of your skin color.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: I was thinking... Screw that, because I've seen it done already.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: I've seen the women, and I've been in front of
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: the women who have done it. So don't you tell
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: me that I can't do it. So in terms of
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: the womenhood, so I had this sense of sisterhood from
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: Spelman College, and I want to credit my mother and
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: my grandparents, especially my grandmothers, for being philanthropists in my family.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: And I'm not talking about the philanthropists who had a
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: lot of money. I'm talking about the ones that gave
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: of their time and gave of their blood and gave
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: of their expertise. So these women instilled in me that
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: if God gives you a platform, use it to give back.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: So I sat on the board of Girls Inc. I
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: also have written a book on girls and self-esteem. And
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: then I was at Access Hollywood for 16 years. And
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: then after I left and I was thinking about this
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: next chapter, I wanted to start my own nonprofit. And
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: I started the Shawn Foundation for Girls. So, yes. So
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: that's where that journey started.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: And in addition to that, it's a foundation for women,
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: young women, and it stands for STEM, health, arts, unity,
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: and neighborhoods. And what does it say? You're in your
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: 10th year, and it helps with grants and underserved and
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: underrepresented girls and young women.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: And we need.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: Allies like this.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: We need big sisters like this.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: But I also see you posting a lot about Women
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: Over 60. You are such a beautiful, joyous representation and
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: cheerleader for Women Over 60.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: And I love that you use your platform to also
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: serve women. your sisters, meaning the women in our category
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: of life. And what prompted you to get really vocal
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: about that, even though it's clearly like in your veins?
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: Well, well, once again. hiding my age was a big
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: thing for me. So what was your turning point there?
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: And there wasn't one aha moment. There just wasn't one.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: But there were many conversations with colleagues and friends that
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: I have who were like, Sean, this is it, okay?
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: This is it. This is it. It's, you know, once again,
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: We're about to be out of here, okay? So stop
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: living in fear that your age is going to prevent
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: you from getting opportunities. And I think that's what the
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: main thing was. Not I think. I know that was
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: the main thing. When I was... You know, when I
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: was on this show, this huge show, I was afraid
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: for people to know my age because I thought that
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: would hinder the opportunities that I had.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's a real-life threat in many areas and
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: many types of work.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: Sure. So that's why I hid it. Yeah. And then
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: I realized that, okay, maybe, maybe there are more opportunities
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: to be had. Mm-hmm. If I just embrace it. Yeah.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: And you know what? I started looking at... I started
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: looking at these women, you know, these over... and over
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: 60 influencers on social media that seem to be having
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: a damn good time. I know, right? They were like...
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: And a lot of them are making some good money
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: on it, too. They were getting PR from the agencies.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: They got boxes of clothes and beauty products sent to them. Yes.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: And they're sashaying around and they're mini skirts. And, you know,
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: I'm watching from the outside... Thinking, ooh, you know, ooh,
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: they told their age. Ooh, they told their age. I
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: don't know what's going to happen to them. You know
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: what happened? They're having a freaking party. That's what's happening.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: They're like wine tasting in Italy, sponsored by some wine group.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: They're like, you know, by the pool. And I was like,
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: so what have I been afraid of? Yeah. So I
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: was like, okay. So the first thing I posted, It
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: was on TikTok. And I said, okay, I'm not going
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: to do the over 60 yet. And this was last year.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: It's going to be a soft launch. Yeah, it was
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: going to be a soft launch. I said, I'll just
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: do over 50. Okay, I'll just do over 50. And then,
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: so I did this video of me walking down. I
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: had a short dress on. And, you know, I was
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: looking cute and everything, bagged and everything. I said, I said,
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: I said, I walked down the stairs. So I set
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: my ring light up at the bottom of the steps
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: and I walked down. And so I walked down the
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: steps and I go, there's one thing that women over
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: 50 should not wear. And I put on my sunglasses
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: and I said, and that is The weight of other
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: people's opinions. Yes! And then I walk off the plane.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: Do you know that post... hook off, went viral. I mean,
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: like it just went bizarre. Like, I mean, I had
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: all these women, younger women in their forties, thirties, like,
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: oh my God, I can't believe it. Oh, wow. You're what?
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: How old? Oh my God. Oh my God. Like it
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: went crazy. And I was like, Okay, the world did
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: not implode when I said it. And you're still working. Yeah.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: Now I just got to tell them the truth and
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: do over 60. Wait until they see that. Wait. Oh,
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: my God. So great. So, yeah. So, that's really what happened.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: And also, it was a fear that I was thinking, okay,
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: if I start posting stuff for women over 60, maybe
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: the 40-year-olds or 30-year-olds won't listen. Oh, no. They're like, okay,
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: let me take some notes here. You know, especially where
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: we're talking about, and I get people all the time,
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: you know, saying, oh, my God, I heard you or so.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: I can't believe it. And what do you eat? What
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: do you do? What do you work out? What do
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: you drink? What do you, you know? So I said, okay,
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: let me just start sharing it. And so it's been
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: really very interesting.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: And I want to know now, though, with this wisdom
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: and this embracing of your age and allowing it to
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: be seen and heard and felt, how is that when
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: you are sitting there gallimanting with a bunch of people on, like,
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know what the age range is on 90
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: Day Fiance, but there's.
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: A lot of, like, I want to get in there
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: and be like, you guys, you guys. You guys, you guys. Listen,
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: I was in... the Delta Sky Lounge one day. It
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: was like 5.30 in the morning. And I was talking
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: to one of the servers and this guy has a
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: Wall Street Journal newspaper and he was sitting across from me.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: He's like this. And then he peeks over the newspaper
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: and he says, are you on that show 90 Day Fiance?
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: And I said, oh, yeah. I said, I am. And
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: I want to say he was very conservative looking, so
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: I didn't necessarily think he might have been the audience.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: But I said, yeah. I said, did you watch? He said, oh, yeah.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: He says, my wife and I love the show. I said,
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: tell me, what do you like about it? He says, well,
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: it's the universal theme of wanting to be loved. Wow.
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: And the lengths that people will go to just to
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: be loved. To find it. Yes. Yes. And so I
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: looked at it really different. I was like, wow. I said, yeah,
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: I guess it is. That's an amazing perspective. Yeah, it is,
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: I think. You know, some of the choices that people
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: make to be loved are choices that surprise.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: You or things that are being overlooked in a house
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: that yeah in a marriage oh absolutely.
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: You know that I'm that I would hope is yeah
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: like you don't like you really did not discuss if
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: you wanted to have children until after you got married
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: okay that's that's interesting why did you wait until then
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: you know um there are folks that get married and
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: still don't know anything about their spouse so and that's
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: what some other people watch for exactly they watch for
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: the fallout Exactly. So, yeah.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: One of the things I like to ask my guests,
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: because I want women to go ahead and feel comfortable
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: putting it out there if you haven't. What's something, and
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: maybe you have already, what's something you still want to do?
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: What's that magical one thing that you're like, I haven't
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: done this. This is a real important bucket list thing
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: for me or a midlife thing.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: I don't have to be bucket list. What's it putting
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: out there, giving it light? You know, I have in
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: terms of What I would love, well, with my foundation,
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: I would love to meet Mackenzie Scott. Yes, girl. And
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: have Mackenzie take a look at the Shawn Foundation for
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: Girls and see what we're doing and see all the
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: amazing work that we're doing. But I say that not serious,
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: but also I feel that with the platform that God
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: has given me, I feel that there is an opportunity
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: to help more people. underserved girls and young women out there. Yeah.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: And I really am very passionate about that and passionate
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: about spreading the word and getting more people to understand
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: that we have to lift up people who are less
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: fortunate than us. Absolutely. It's very important. Yes. In terms
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: of like a fun bucket list of things I would
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: like to do, one is, and maybe some of this
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: has come from hosting 90 Day Fiance, but I realized
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: that the world, we get on our heads because sometimes
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: the world seems very small. This world is so big
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: and I want to explore it. I want to explore
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: being me. Absolutely.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: We get more pieces of clarity. Yes. Yes, we do.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: Like even with that couple watching 90 Day Fiance, they get,
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: I guess, parent clarity in their own marriage.
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: Yes. Absolutely. That's really important. That's one of mine as well. Yeah.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: And after you meet Mackenzie Scott. Yes. Give her my
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: number because I would love. Love her to be on.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: For two Latinas acting up. Yes.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: Serving Latinas in television and film arts and entertainment from
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: in front of and behind the scenes.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: Bringing up their visibility and recognition in the arts.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: Yes. And... Yes. And I... Tells you to do a
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: two for one. Yes. I salute anybody who is using
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: their platform to help other people to start their own
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: nonprofit or... work and help another nonprofit. Yeah. That is
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: my thing. Yeah. So. I can see that.
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: You've started, there's a long history of you doing this.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: That's why I brought up the book that even though
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: you wrote it in 2009, it clearly has been a
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: part of who you are.
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: To continuously connect with women in this way.
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Please write the sequel. I will. We need it.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: I will.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: And here's how, now I'm going to turn the table
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: and ask it to see If you have a question,
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: one of my closers I like to do is for
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: you to present what I call, is it just me
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: or is anyone else blank?
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: You fill in the blank.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: It could be serious. It could be funny. It could
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: be thoughtful. It could be goofy.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: Is it just me? Is it just me or is
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: anyone else blank? Hot. Girl, you have to ask, are
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: you not hot? Wait a minute, where's my fan? I
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: lose my habit like right here. Yes, yes, yes.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: You don't like it because you are well put together here.
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: You look amazing. It's the powder. 24-7. Oh, wow, that powder.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: Then I need the name of that because mine breaks through.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: I got spackle on my face and I'm still sweating. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you. It's real. I have been on set
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: and it used to be that I was always the
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: one that was cold. Yeah. I was always the one
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: that was cold on set. I'd be like, ooh, go cold.
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: And my mother will come visit me in my house
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: here and she says, Sean, why is the heat so
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: On 58. Yes, that's magical to me. Why is he
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: on 58? Why is he on 58? I'm like, you know, right, so.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: Do we need to get one of those beds? My
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: girlfriend has this sleep eight bed. I'm still trying to
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: get them to sponsor us because it's like it's cooling
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: and you can adjust the temperature and then it vibrates
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: you awake so that you don't wake up to like
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: a loud alarm. And if you're sleeping with a partner,
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: you can adjust their the way how cool it is
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: on their side.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: Why is it vibrating? To wake you up? Oh, to
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: do what?
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: So that it's more gentle than like your alarm going off.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: Oh. I mean, I don't know if I need that feature.
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: I just need. Oh, I see. I see. Instead of
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: an alarm clock. Yes. It vibrates. I don't know if
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: we need all that. Eva Longoria swears by it. How
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: do you know it's not an earthquake? She's like, you don't. Yeah,
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: I don't know if we need all that. I don't
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: know if we need a vibrating bed. Give me some
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: peace and quiet in the bed, please. Oh, God. I know.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: I was like, if it's cheaper without it, I'll take it. Right. Exactly. Oh,
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: I love this.
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming on here and continuing
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: your conversation of bringing women up because the core of
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: the podcast is to do that. I say how hard
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: can it be because sometimes it can be really hard.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: And we just need to hear from our our peers
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: and our sisters and other women in the trenches with
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: us that it might be hard, but we're here and
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: we're experiencing it together.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: Yes. Yes, we are. And I challenge all of us
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: to ask ourselves, what would happen if I let go
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: of the fear? You know, what would tell? How would
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: my life be different? And Listen, you know, yeah, we
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: have the aches and the pains and the wrinkles and
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: the jiggly, jiggly stuff. But what would happen if I
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: just said, okay, you know, that's how it is. But also,
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: while I'm trying my best to not reverse aging, but
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: just to stay. stay the healthiest that I can. Yes.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: You know, that gives you back some of that control. Yeah.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: But just let go of the fear and live life
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: because we're going to be dead soon. Okay? So you
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: better enjoy it now, sister. Do it now. Okay. Enjoy
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: it now because don't worry about nobody and just have,
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: you know, this is the time when you are supposed
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: to be enjoying life. Agreed. You know. Agreed. So.
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: I cannot thank you enough for everything allowing me to
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: come into your world, act like you.
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: And try to do my best at being a journalist
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: and having this really meaningful conversation.
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: Thank you. I loved it. I loved it. It was
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: very fun.
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: How hard can it be? With Diana Maria Riva is
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: a Hyphenate Media Group production in partnership with iHeart's My
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: Cultura podcast network. For more of your favorite shows, visit
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.