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Lisa & Russell - Phantom Urinator · Lisa & Russell

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's too early.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Too early? Too early for what?
• 0:03
  Speaker 3: It's too early for this. I don't know that there's
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: a good time for this, but it's a case that
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: must be covered.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: Professor sacked for being phantom suspect, let's call it tinkler.
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: An American college professor.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: A phantom urinator.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: He's not playing an instrument.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Let's call it what it is.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: The man needs to be spayed, neutered, sent to his kennel. I,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: and especially he, are glad you.
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: Ain't the judge.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: He's been caught in a string of pee-soaked incidents last year.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: The professor has been sacked over the strange crime spree
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: at Macalester College in Minnesota.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Weirdo.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: The Phantom Tinkler. Lots and lots of evidence was left
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: around said college, and all roads led to him. Now,
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: there's a picture of him. His name is Paul Fisher,
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: or as we shall call him, Professor Piddle. He wears
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: a lovely, lovely, striking orange shirt with a very garish
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: bow tie. Lime green with polka dots.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: He looks like the type, doesn't he?
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: He looks like the type.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: He'll have patches on his jacket elbows. Yeah, science professors,
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: they love something a bit.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: I think he should have patches on his crotch.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: I think so, absolutely.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: What's that?
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: One student discovered her bag was covered in Professor Fisher's urine.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: What is wrong with you, man?
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: Pee was found in bins, in individuals' water bottles, and
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: inside other professors' decorations. Merry Christmas. What? After peeing, he
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: would then dispose of the liquid in bins or sinks
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: around the campus, causing around $ 2, 000 in damage.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: What did he tell the police?
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: What was his excuse?
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: As he was zipping up his fly? Yes.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: I couldn't hold it.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I couldn't.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: There's some strange cases in the world, and I think
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: we have just stumbled on one of the strangest ones.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: I'm having a look at the story here now, and
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: he's told the police that he may have accidentally spread
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: a bit of his.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: He around.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: Accidentally.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: When he was throwing away his urine in a bin.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: That's not how you do it, sir. There is a
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: toilet and you go there.
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: Actually, you don't even need a button anymore. Usually there's sensor.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of motion sensor ones now. Oh, I
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: don't know what goes on in yours.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Your kind of community.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: They've got the little cubes. The little, you know what,
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: lollies sitting in the bottom. You don't even need water. Anyway,
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: Professor Piddle is due in court.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: Has he been sacked?
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: I hope so. He's been, I think he's been, let's
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: just say he's been stood down for the time being.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: But yes, he will be in court in early November.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: So in just a couple of weeks from now. And
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: attempts to contact him by various outlets have been surprisingly unsuccessful.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: An attorney for the former professor, there you go, former
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: professor was not listed. They are still trying to find
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: a lawyer who can keep a straight face through the trial.