Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Get Career Advice From Strangers on LinkedIn
Transcript
- Lucas: You send a LinkedIn message to someone you've never met. And you ask them for career advice. Most people either never hit send, or they send something that gets ignored. So let's talk about what actually works. Luna: I know a lot of people who've tried this and gotten crickets. What's the common mistake? Lucas: The biggest one is asking for too much too soon. 'Can you be my mentor? Can we grab coffee for an hour?' That's a big ask from a stranger. The successful approach is much smaller and much more specific. Luna: So you're saying start with a micro-ask. Like, 'Can you answer one question?' Lucas: Exactly. But even before that, you need to do your homework. I had a listener, let's call her Maya, who was a marketing coordinator trying to move into product marketing. She found a VP of Product at Mailchimp who had written a blog post about product-led growth. So she read it, took notes, and then sent a message referencing that specific post. Luna: That's smart. It shows she did her research, not just a spray and pray. Lucas: Right. Her message was two sentences. First sentence: 'I read your post on product-led growth and your point about freemium vs. free trial totally changed how I think about user acquisition.' Second sentence: 'I'm a marketing coordinator hoping to move into product marketing — would you be open to a 15-minute call to share how you made that transition?' Luna: Fifteen minutes. That's doable. Not an hour. Lucas: That's the key. She also offered something in return — she said she'd share a few takeaways from the call on LinkedIn and tag him, giving him some visibility. That's reciprocity. And she got the call. Luna: What happened on the call? Lucas: She came prepared with three specific questions. She didn't wing it. And at the end, she asked if there was anyone else he'd recommend she talk to. That's how you build a network from a single conversation. She ended up with four more introductions. Luna: I like the reciprocity piece. But let's be real — not everyone has something to offer in return. What if you're a student or early in your career? Lucas: Then you can offer gratitude and follow-through. Send a thank-you note within 24 hours. A week later, send a quick update: 'I took your advice and applied for the role at X.' People want to know their time made a difference. Luna: That's a good point. I've also heard that asking for 'advice' specifically is better than asking for a 'mentorship' because advice is lower stakes. Lucas: Yes. 'Mentor' is a loaded word. It implies an ongoing commitment. 'Advice' is a one-time thing. And you can always ask for a second piece of advice later. Luna: So the formula is: research, micro-ask, reciprocity or follow-through, and then a graceful follow-up. Lucas: That's it. But I want to add one more thing: don't get discouraged if you get ignored. It's not personal. The recipient might be busy, or they might get a hundred messages a week. The average response rate for cold LinkedIn messages is about 10 to 15 percent. Luna: That low? So you have to send a lot of them. Lucas: You do. And you have to personalize every single one. No templates. I once sent 40 cold emails to editors before I got my first freelance assignment. It was number 41 that said yes. Luna: Forty-one. That's persistence. Lucas: It is. And that editor ended up becoming a long-term mentor. We worked together for three years. All because I sent a short, specific email about a story idea I thought would fit their section. Luna: Let's talk about the recipient's perspective for a second. I've been on the receiving end of these messages, and honestly, sometimes it's overwhelming. Especially for women and people of color, who tend to get more of these requests because they're seen as more approachable. Lucas: That's a fair point. It puts an extra burden on certain groups. So if you're reaching out, be mindful of that. And if you're the recipient, it's okay to say no, or to set boundaries. One way is to offer a shorter alternative — like a 10-minute phone call instead of coffee. Luna: Or point them to a FAQ or a blog post you've written. That way you're still helping, but you're not giving one-on-one time. Lucas: Exactly. And if you do agree to a call, you can set a hard stop. 'I have 15 minutes at 2 PM on Tuesday.' That's clear and respectful of your own time. Luna: So we've talked about how to ask and how to receive. What about after the call? How do you turn that one conversation into a real relationship? Lucas: This is where most people drop the ball. They have the call, say thank you, and then disappear for six months. Then they come back with another ask. That feels transactional. Luna: So what should they do instead? Lucas: Stay on their radar in a low-effort way. Share an article they might find interesting. Comment on their LinkedIn posts. Congratulate them on a work anniversary or a promotion. Do it once every few weeks, not every day. You want to be a familiar name, not a pest. Luna: And then, when you have a real update — like you got a new job or you followed their advice — you send a note. That's the perfect time to reconnect. Lucas: Right. And maybe that leads to a second call. But even if it doesn't, you've built a professional connection that could open doors years later. Luna: I want to push back a little on the idea that cold outreach is the best way. Some people argue that warm introductions are far more effective. Should you always try to find a mutual connection first? Lucas: Warm introductions are better if you can get them. But not everyone has a network of mutual connections in their target industry. And waiting for a warm intro can take forever. A well-crafted cold message can work just as well, especially if you're targeting someone who's openly sharing advice or writing publicly. Luna: So it's not either-or. You can do both. Lucas: Exactly. And sometimes a cold message can lead to a warm introduction to someone else. Maya, from our earlier example, got introduced to four other people because her first contact vouched for her. Luna: That's the multiplier effect. One yes becomes five opportunities. Lucas: Right. And the key is to make that first yes count. Come prepared, be respectful of their time, and follow up with genuine gratitude. Luna: You know, Lucas, episodes like this remind me why we keep this podcast ad-free. We want people to get real, actionable advice without any fluff or sponsored messages. And it's listeners like you who make that possible. Lucas: Yeah, if you've found value in what we're doing — whether it's a tip that helped you land a job or just a new way to think about your career — you can support the show at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. That's buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Luna: It's a small way to keep this resource going for everyone. And we appreciate it. Lucas: So we've covered the ask, the call, and the follow-up. But there's one more piece: what if the person says no? Or doesn't respond at all? Luna: Yeah, that's the hard part. How do you handle rejection? Lucas: You don't take it personally. And you don't double-text. If you haven't heard back in two weeks, send one polite follow-up. After that, move on. There are plenty of other people who might say yes. Luna: And maybe the timing was just off. They might have been swamped with a project or on vacation. Lucas: Exactly. I've had people respond to a message I sent six months earlier. They apologized for the delay and we ended up having a great conversation. So don't burn bridges. Luna: I think the overarching theme here is respect. Respect their time, respect their boundaries, and respect the relationship you're trying to build. Lucas: Absolutely. And if you approach it that way, you'll stand out from the vast majority of people who just blast out generic requests. Specificity and sincerity are your biggest advantages. Luna: What about the long-term? Let's say you do get a mentor through cold outreach. How do you maintain that relationship over years, not just weeks? Lucas: It takes intentionality. Check in periodically with no agenda. Just a 'thinking of you, hope you're well.' And when you have a success that they helped with, share it. That reinforces their impact. Luna: I've heard of people sending handwritten thank-you notes. That's old school but memorable. Lucas: I did that once. I sent a handwritten card to a mentor who helped me navigate a career transition. He told me later it was the only physical thank-you he'd ever received from a mentee. It made a lasting impression. Luna: So small gestures matter. It's not about grand favors. Lucas: Right. And the best mentors aren't the ones who give you all the answers. They're the ones who ask you the right questions. So when you're in that conversation, focus on listening and learning, not on impressing them. Luna: That's a good note to end on. Thanks, Lucas. Lucas: Thanks, Luna. And thanks to all our listeners. Keep sending those messages — you never know who might say yes.