Latest / Pursuit of Sassiness / A Golden Bachelor Got Catfished! It Could Happen To You, So BEWARE!

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A Golden Bachelor Got Catfished! It Could Happen To You, So BEWARE! · Pursuit of Sassiness

• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to I Do Part two.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Of course, I'm one of your celebrity mentors, Bob Geinny,
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: and I'm very excited today because I have Jonathan Rone
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: of course from Jones season of the Golden Bachelorette, and Jonathan.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited to have you back.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: God, you've recently been in the news a little bit lately,
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: right with all the stuff going on, and I know
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: you had.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: I know you had a little bit.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Of a little bit of you know, relationship woes recently.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: But before we get into any of that stuff, you know, obviously,
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: I Do Part two is a show that's geared around
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: people realizing that there is life after divorce, right or
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: life after our relationship ends. And I think maybe for
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: people who didn't watch, you know, your season of the
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Golden Bachelorette and things of that new sure they might
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: not know that how you ended up on that show
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: was that, you know, you you had a relationship that
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: split up, that you were into in for quite some time,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: and you know, tell us tell us a little bit
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: about that, about you know, what got you to the
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: point where you had a chance to find love the
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: second time around.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: Oh gosh, you know what I was. I was out there,
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: you know, a single guy, you know, on the dating gaps,
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: and you know, I, I guess my my my pictures
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: attracted you know a certain I guess interest or something
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: like that, and you know, I was, Uh, I was
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: contacted and thought about, you know, what do you think
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: about being on the show with the Golden Bachelorette. And
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: it came. It came out of the blue. So I
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: was completely blown away. And I thought about it a
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: couple of times, and I thought about how much time
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: I would have to take off work. Do I really
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: want to put myself out there, so to speak like that,
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: you know, on on national TV looking for love? Because
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: you know I'm I'm a pretty private guy. And so
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: that was a big up for me to consider. And
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: I actually said no a couple of times, but then
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: I was I looked at it as that, you know what,
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: this is once in a lifetime opportunity. The opportunity came
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: to me for a reason, and so I was open
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: to explore that. And so I went through the process.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: I signed on, and I opened myself up to to
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: see if I could find that that chance of love again.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: And what a way to do it?
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, definitely not a little more. You know.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: I used to always say to people when they say,
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: you know, did you go on all the dating apps
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: and stuff? I said, no, I find love the old
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: fashioned way on television shows.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: That's what I do.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: But what led you up to that? I mean, had
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: you how long have you been married previously before you
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: got divorced? Like what was what was your story there?
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: Okay, So I was married in two thousand and seven,
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: and prior to prior to meeting my my wife at
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: the time, I was single for two years. I just
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: needed to get out of the dating world and quit
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: you know, falling in falling in love and in out
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: of love and things like that. I just wanted to
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: get myself together, get my heart together, my spirit together,
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: just like you know, just what what are some really
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: good characteristics to be a guy that has integrity and
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: character and things like that to meet the woman of
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: his dreams. And so, after two years, a friend of
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: mine introduced me to someone and it was like love
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: at first sight for me, and so we dated for
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: about ten and a half months. I proposed in Jamaica
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: and she said she said yes, and so so that
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: was it. So we were married for gosh, close to
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: seven years, had two kids at the time of the divorce.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: You know, my daughter was I think around six, my
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: son was three, and so so that was a difficult transition.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: We're but we're really close family now and the kids
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: are doing great. But after my divorce, I mean I
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: literally I think I I got to the point where
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: I think my heart and spirit healed and I was like,
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: you know what, I gosh, what would it be like
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: to eight again? You know? Yeah, yeah, And so I
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: think that was like a year and a half or
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: two years before I actually got on the first dating app,
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: which was a Christian Mingo dating app, and okay, end
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: up getting Catfish my first tryouts.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: No way, you did not.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: Actually I actually sent money to Ghana.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Oh no, that's okay.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Well, okay, you got to explain this to me, because
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: I've seen the show on MTV. How did you get Catfish?
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: You're a smart guy, clearly, you're you know, you're you're
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: I'm sure you're you're pretty guarded with you know, your
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: your heart and everything.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, how did you end up getting into that situation?
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: Well? You know what, I I had never heard of
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: what Catfish was before I never knew about the show
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: or anything like that. So, you know, like I said,
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: I went on Christian Mingo was what it was, you know,
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: because I was thinking, you know, if I'm looking for
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: another second chance of love, I wanted to have some
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: core values of Christianity because I'm you know, grew up
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: Catholic and so I that's part my faith. And so
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: I wanted to find a woman that would, you know,
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: have those core values. And so I was attracted to
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: this really, really pretty picture profile and we started communicating
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: and she was saying that she was from Ghana, she
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: wants to come over and we can start a relationship
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: and things like that, and so I was all in
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: and I told the guys at work, you know, hey,
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: I think I found someone. I kind of told them
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: that I was on this dating app and they were
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: just cracking up. They're like, man, you got Catfish. You're
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: getting catfish? And I'm like, what is that? And so
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: I checked out the show Catfish and I'm like, wow,
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: am I getting Catfish? And so I started to read
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: some of the signs and lo and behold, after I
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: sent the money, I figured that I was I was Catfish.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: Because this person man or woman behind this behind the
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: scene you know, was asking like, you know what what
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: wireless service was my telephone and was starting to ask
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: me account information, so I knew. I was like, you
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: know what, I felt attempt.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: So well that's the word. Now do you mind me
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: asking how much money did you send?
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: It was like sixty bucks?
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, thank god? Okay, So and Bob, here's here's the
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: thing I had.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: I had did a I had did a a modeling,
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: a cover or magazine shoot in Kansas City which I
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: was on the cover, and I thought, you know, I
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: would send a copy of this magazine with me on
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: the cover over to Ghana and I shipped email, so
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: I shipped it via mail, and so who knows where
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: that ended up?
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: So oh my god, you know I mean that that
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: probably changes the way you do things now. Now you're
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: immediately on the dating app first person, You're like, okay,
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: we can FaceTime.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Let's FaceTime right now? Right?
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: Well, you know what, you know what after the show,
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: after I came back from the show, I haven't I
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: haven't even been on the dating app since I think
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: it's yeah, yeah, how.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Do you how do your kids feel about you being
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: back in the dating world. I mean, obviously you seem
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: like a pretty sensitive guy to me, and my guess
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: would be that you probably And I say this as
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: a divorced man. I say this anytime I talk to someone,
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: whether they're thinking about going through divorce or whether they're
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: going through it, I always say, Look, I'm just going
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: to say this to you straight up. Divorce sucks, even
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: if you want, even if you're the person that wants
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: the divorce, trust me, and I tell you it sucks
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: because there's always there's always regret, there's always heartbreak, there's
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: always especially with children involved. I can't you know, I
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: when I was divorced, I we didn't have children, and
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: so I can't even imagine how the stakes are so
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: much higher there.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: And it just hurts, right, I mean, no matter how
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: you look at it, it hurts.
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, there's a certain I was just thinking about
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: that this morning. It's kind of crazy that you're asking
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: me that, because there's a there's a certain sense of brokenness.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: I think as a as a father, you know, because
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: you know when I, you know, when I when I
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: had these these ideas of starting a family and and
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: you know, and and and having kids. It was like,
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: you know what I thought of us being a whole
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: family unit, but now it's a different story. And so
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: so being being a single father so to speak. Is
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: that Uh every now and then and after all this
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: healing that I went through, and I feel like, while
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: I'm definitely back at myself now, uh, something will happen
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: that will trigger something, and uh it triggers that brokenness
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: or that situation, and it brings a sadness there, a
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: certain sense of sadness. And that's that's the part that sucks.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, I get that. I get that totally.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: That's where the humility and acceptance and accepting life on
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: life terms comes in and you just, yeah, just move forward.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Man, You're such a sweetheart of a guy. Man.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: I I was I was happy to hear when I
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: when I heard that you were in a relationship earlier
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: on in the year, I was happy to hear about that.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: But part of me now now.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Knowing that it didn't quite work out, and and you know,
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: are you are you disappointed that you know that you
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: missed out on some opportunities like you know, vaster and
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Paradise and and things of that nature that you you
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: would have gone on to do, uh, you know, some
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: more of this fun stuff, because I know you kind
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: of you kind of if I'm not mistaken, you said
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: no thanks because you were already in a relationship and
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: that's why you didn't want to go do that other show, right.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for the Bachelor in Paradise said, I said no
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: thanks because because I was I was broken up. You know,
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: our relationship ended like the first of the year. Five
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: has just not been my year. Yes, that's how That's
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: how it started off. And so at the time that
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: the opportunity came my way, I was still going through
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: heartbreak and you know I felt that that, you know,
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: being in Paradise, it just wasn't sitting well with me.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: And you know what is like, you know, Bob, to
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: be honest with you, I mean, it's like, you know,
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: I appreciate the opportunity of being asked like that, but
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: being on the Golden Bachelorette, that opportunity was a once
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: in a lifetime opportunity for me, and I genuinely believed
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: that I opened my heart up to that opportunity to
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: find love and it didn't work out that way. And
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: so I guess I would say I would be disingenuous
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: if I wanted to go back on the show to
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: find love again, because I looked at the Golden bachl
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: my one opportunity, and I found out what I needed
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: to find out. So that was it was a great journey.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: It was a blessed journey. But that blurt that journey
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: is ended, and so uh, I was just wanting to
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: move on and move on with my life, so to speak.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: And I think that if I would have put myself
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: in the Bachelor in Paradise, it would have reopened wounds,
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: so to speak, and I I would have thrown away
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: a lot of healing that I just went through.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: So no, I I appreciate that.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: Well, you know I, I guess it's probably the best
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: time to tell you.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Then.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: I was calling to tell you that we were going
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: to ask you to be the Golden Bachelor, but it
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: doesn't sound like you're interested. So would you ever consider that?
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: I mean, now, let me let me just say this
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: to you, because I I understand where you're coming from
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: from the disingenuous part, I really do, But I want
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: to say this so I think sometimes you know you
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: can because you remind me a little bit and and
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: I'm giving myself a very nice compliment here, but you
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: remind myself a little bit of me and how I
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: felt post divorce, and I feel like, you know, you
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: can be you can kind of cut yourself off from
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: additional opportunities because you think that there's the right way
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: and the wrong way to do things.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: But sometimes you never know. Man, maybe second time or
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: third times a charm, right.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: So I mean, if they were to call you and say, hey,
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: we want you to be the Golden Bachelor, do you
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: think you could evaluate that opportunity and look at it
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: from the standpoint of Okay, the last time I did this,
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: I was with twenty five guys meeting one woman. That
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: one woman found her soulmate in another person, and I
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: have to respect that. However, I did open up my heart.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: I did find that I was open for the opportunity
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: for love. Maybe if I let these incredibly talented producers
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: find twenty five women, maybe one of them might be
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: the right person for me and might jive with me, right,
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: Because I mean, I will say, you know, when I
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: was the Bachelor, I did not end up proposing to
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: any of the women on my show, but I was
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: I love the thing that I had the opportunity to
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: meet them, and it really made me ready for love.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Like I knew after doing that show.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: Even though I didn't find my person on that show,
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: I realized what I wanted in a partner and I
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: was trying to be a little more discerning, and you know,
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: it really kind of almost prepared me for Okay, I'm
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: going to go through this and I'm going to find
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: this person.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: So I mean, it is possible.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: And I always say to my wife, I say to
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: Canyon all the time, I'm like, amen, we would have
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: never met if we're for the Bachelor.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Like granted you were in high school when I was
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: on the show. Let's not think about it that way.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: Let's think about the fact that many years later, because
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: of those experiences, lying up the way they did. I
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: believe in the butterfly effect. You know, had I not
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: done those certain things, I would have never met her.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: And that may very well be out there waiting for you.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: I mean, have you ever thought about it that way?
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Or are you kind of hell bent on I did
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: it once, I'm never going to do it again.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: Okay, So what is what has recently happened in the
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: past few months or so. I think that on one side,
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: on one side of your question, I would have loved
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: that opportunity. I think that opportunity was there for me.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: I was I guess I would say I was ready
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: for that opportunity. And if I guess, you could say
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: I was the cherry on the top of the cherry
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: on the tree that was ripe and ready to be picked,
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: you know. And and so I, you know, I was
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: anticipating to see if it was gonna come my way.
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: And you know, the the things turned out the way
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: that they did, and so you know, that was that
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: was my indication, you know, that that that that opportunity,
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: that once in an lifetime opportunity to be the Golden
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: Bachelor was either there or it wasn't meant to be.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: And so so the way things turned out, that just
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: that just let me know that it wasn't it wasn't
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: meant to be for me. And and and and that
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: being said, I mean, on one side, it is like,
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: you know what if it had been man, I would
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: have I would have had a blast. Man, I would
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: have I would have had you know, from the experience
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: of being on the Golden Bachelorette and being familiar with uh,
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: with the producers and the background and things like that,
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: and just being coming of age of who I was
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: as a guy and where I've my uh, where I've
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: grown to be. I think I I think I would
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: have been I would have had so much fun and
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: I you know, I definitely would have been looking for
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: the right person of twenty five. But now on the
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: other side, you know that that journey is that's somebody
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: else's journey. So I'm on a different journey, and uh,
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: if that opportunity was out there in the future, I
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: would say that I would probably have to do a
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: hard pass on it, because I'm not doing a hard lunch.
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: But but I would just say that I uh, I
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: wouldn't be able to uh to accept.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: Here's the thing.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: I mean, twenty twenty five, like you said, was not
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: a great starting of the year. But we can help
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: turn this around. I mean, I don't know if you saw,
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: but you know one of your mansion man, Gary, he's
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: in a relationship now. That's exciting. Are you in a
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: new relationship right now? And if not, you know, I mean,
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: we got a lot of female listeners. I think probably
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: ninety percent of our listenership and our viewership on this
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: is probably female, and I happen to know that they
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: think you are a pretty good looking dude.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: My man and I have a pretty strong.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: Indication that there are several women out there listening that
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: would love to meet you.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: But you know, we got hey, we got the holidays
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: coming up. I get it. I mean, are you in
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: a relationship right now? Are you? Are you flying solo?
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: And are you keeping it that way?
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: Well, you know what, I'm glad. I'm glad that you
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: asked me that because I kind of felt that that
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: was that was gonna happen, you know, so, like I
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: had said on a previous podcast, you know that I
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: tried to do my best to you know, with the
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: experience of you know, announcing that relationship publicly and what
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: happened after that and just kind of guarding my private life.
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: But uh, but I but I will say, you know,
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: I I you know, Bob, I'll just let you know that,
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: uh that I'm I'm a spoken I'm spoken.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: For Okay, all right, I like that.
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: I'll just leave it at that. It's like, you know,
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: it just reminds me of is like, you know, my
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: my heart's my heart is back in a place where
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: you know, it reminded me of a Christopher Marlowe poem
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: goes something like, go something like it's about the passionate,
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: the passionate shepherd to his love. He's like, come live
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: with me and be my love, and we will all
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: these pleasures prove that valleys, groves, hills and fields, woods
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: or steepy mountains field or steepy mountains yield. And so
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: that that poem just resonates with me because I'm just
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: looking to share my life with someone that's looking to
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: enjoy the simple things this life. It's it's not about
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: the materialistic, it's not about the money. It's about being
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: connected with nature and being connected with each other.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: And so yeah, yeah, I love it, man, I love it.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: I love you. I love the way you are, I
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: love your attitude.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: I love You're such a kind and gentle dude, man,
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: And I always appreciated that about you. So many of
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: the guys from the Golden franchise I've loved getting to
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: know over the last several years, and you know, feel
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: like we're friends and feel like, you know, at the
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: end of the day, it's one of those things, you know,
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: we all have this kind of unusual bond of something
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: that we've done.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: That's really weird, right that, you know. I mean it's
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: crazy because I.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: Did I did it twenty years ago and it's still
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: go in the day, which is bananas to me. But
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: it's one of those things when you when you look
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: at it, the experiences are pretty similar, you know, like
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: I always like in Joe and season to the fact
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: that you know, when I was on Trista's season, the
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: guys we just got along great, you know, like we
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: just we were truly buddies. And and you can see
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: that with you all, you know, with your your crew,
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: still being friends, still keeping in touch, and you know,
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: and it's still root, still genuinely.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Rooting for each other. And you can see that. You know.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: That's one of the things I love the most about
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: all you eyes. And I just think it's pretty awesome
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: to see. How has it been watching this season of
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: The Golden Bachelor knowing, you know, knowing how close you
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: were to possibly be in that guy? I mean, how
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: interesting is it for you to watch the show unfold
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: this year? Yeah?
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: You know, uh, I've watched just a little bit, you know,
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: I've watched like the premiere the opening, and then I
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: watched I think, like the one episode and then like
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: maybe the half of the second, you know, I you know,
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: I just got to the point where I just gosh,
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: like I said, man, twenty twenty five has just been
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: a year of hard knocks, so to speak, spiritually and emotionally.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: And uh, one of the one of the things I
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: needed to do for myself, for my self care was
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: in a certain sense, kind of disassociate myself from that,
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: you know, because you know, there was there was so
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: much on the line with you know, gosh, is the
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: Golden Bachelor is going to come my way? What would
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: happen if it does? And blah blah blah, and and
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: and thinking that I had a fan base that was
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: supporting that, and you know, all these emotion highs and lows,
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: and and then like you know, then when the selection
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: was made, it was it was like it was like
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: a gut punch, you know. So yeah, yeah, and so
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: I had to recover. I had to recover from that,
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: and part of and part of my recovery was, like,
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: you know what, I I wanted to disengage myself from it.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: And so so I've watched a little bit of it,
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: but I've I've kind of steered away from it not
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: to get so caught up into it. You know, I
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: know that you know, with the with the with with
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: a statement that kind of made the headlines. You know,
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: I was just you know, supporting, supporting mail. You know,
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: if it was a mistake, you know that uh, that
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: his apology was genuine, hopefully that it was genuine, and
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: that it was accepted by the women as genuine, and
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: then uh, you know that he could find find love.
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: And so that was that was my main I think
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: my main push for watching the show for.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: What I no, I get it and I and I
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: get that disassociation part too. I think everybody, everybody reaches
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: a point where it's kind of like, Okay, I need
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: to take a step back, you know, I need to
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: get my real life back in check here, and then
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: maybe I can go back and dabble. I mean I
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: I probably did that as well, you know at some
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: point along the along the way, because you know, it's
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: when you're married for a couple of years and you're
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: still known as Bash or Bob and your kids are like, what,
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: it's kind of weird. So sometimes it's like, you know,
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: I need to pump the brakes on this part of
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: my life for a minute, and I'll come back to it.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: So I respect that.
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: It's almost like, you know, it's a it's a reality
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: TV show, but it's not reality, you know, because it's
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: in a certain sense it's not reality. And then you know,
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: if you do find love and you're and you you
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: have a relationship, then that becomes the reality. But then
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: outside of that, it's like you know, when I when
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: I go into the Dollar the you know, to the
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: local stores here in town, and and every now and then,
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: as time has passed, someone will say, hey, aren't weren't
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: you the guy? Weren't you the guy on the golden
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: on the Golden betsurette? And that feels good. Yeah, it
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: almost it almost takes me out of my reality, so
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: to speak, and it makes me jump back into that
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: that work. And it's like, you know what, but I
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: but I don't get me wrong, I do like to
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: be uh. I like the recognition every now and then.
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: I like the spotlight.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: I think I think anybody who says they don't, I mean,
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: there's only one guy and this is God's honest truth,
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: one human being. I say guy because I'll go guy,
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: because I don't know the women as well from the
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: different seasons.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: But one guy that I've ever met.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: In the history of this franchise, and I've been around
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: since the first season of the Bacherette and the fourth
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: season of The Bachelor, only one that I can say
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: genuinely does not want any recognition, genuinely.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Skirts away from it. And that's Trista's husband, Ryan Sutter.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: Ryan is one of the few guys and if you
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: meet him, you'll you'll see this.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: He's he's not like Anti. It's just he doesn't need it.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: And the rest of us kind of feed off of
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: it a little bit, like I love like my wife
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: will go does it ever get.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: Old for you? And I'm like, no, everyone's always so nice.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: I love it. You know, it's fun, it's it's engaging,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: it keeps me, you know.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: But it's like, you know, Ryan doesn't need it, like
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: Trista and I will go to events with Ryan and
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: my wife and the two.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Of them will go off and watch us walk.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: The red carpet and do our thing, and and it's funny,
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: you know, so I get it. It's like it's like,
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: you know, and who knows, maybe I was going to
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: ask you two questions about this the person you're seeing,
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: and obviously we're gonna keep that kind of low key.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: Do you think the two of you have a lot
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: of similarities from personality perspective? Is she even more private
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: than you? Is she more out there than you? More
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: personality like what is what is the vibe there? Oh?
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely more definitely more private. And it's like, you
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: know what, as you know, and she has she has
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: such a wonderful heart. It's like, you know what she
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: she looked and considered she put in consideration of you know,
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: you know, I'm still associated with the show. I've still
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: got like fourteen fifteen thous or gosh, fifteen thousand followers,
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: like you said that are mostly women, and so there's yeah, yeah,
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: so she has to she's dealt with that, you know,
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: and uh and the anxiety that she's gotten from that,
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: and so her heart went out to you know, previous
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: you know, my previous relationship. You know that that the
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: anxiety that she probably went through. And and I never
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: really looked at it from that perspective because I'm like,
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: I was enjoying the limelight. I enjoyed like putting myself
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: out there. But she, uh, she made it. She made
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: me look at it this way. Well what is yeah,
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: what if the shoes were on the other foot and
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: she was She's got fifteen thousand guys that are messenger
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: telling her, you know, how hot she looks and things
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: like that, How would I feel? And I never thought
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: of it that way? And so, uh so we have
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: the mutual respect and understanding about that, and uh yeah,
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: that's a really really core value that we do have
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: that with each other.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: No, that's nice.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: I mean, at the end of the day, that's one
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: of those things you kind of got to have some
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: type of agreement and understanding, you know, like there definitely
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: is additional pressures there, there's no question you know.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: So I definitely I understand that.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: It's one of these things that I've learned it even
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: in my golden years. Is sixty two boundaries, Yeah, considered
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: boundaries and how important boundaries are. And that's a boundary
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: you know when a woman, when a woman opens her
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: heart up to you and wants to open up more
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: to you, and you got to know what the boundaries are.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's nice. Yeah, it's nice to be respectful
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: of that. I mean, you know, so that's that's obviously
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: something that people need to take more seriously. Let's get
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: into a couple of just lighthearted questions because I know
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: you've been around a little bit.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Now, you've dated a lot.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: You know, I'd like to hear what your thoughts are
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: on this. So you know, obviously, people as we get older,
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: I'm fifty four, you're sixty two. People as we get older,
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: things shift, right, things get a little bit different for
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: us after a certain age. What are some things that
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: you think in your experience of dating? Obviously, I think
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: boundaries is one of them that that should be more important,
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: right and and and recognizing those and respecting those. What
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: are some things after the age of fifty while dating
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: that you think people should lighten up a little bit on,
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: Like are there any things that you encountered where you
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: were just like what are you doing? You know, like
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: let it go or or anything like that that maybe
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: kind of struck you as after a certain age, we
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: should probably kind of chalk that one up.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: Anything anything out there that makes you think like that.
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: Gosh, you know what I think I think maybe the
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: intentionality I think, you know, I think if you if
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: you if you want to go into a relationship or
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: going to the dating world, know what your intentions are?
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: Are you looking for are you looking to date? Are
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: you looking to date around? You know, and that person,
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: that other person needs to know that if they're open,
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: if they're open for that, then that kind of leads
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: to lightheartedness.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: But then there's the intentionality is like, you know what,
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: are you looking to get married? That changes the whole
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: that changes the whole script of things, you know, And
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: so like I was thinking about intentionality the other day.
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: I don't even know why I think about Sometimes I
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: think about metaphors. They helped me like put things in perspective.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: I was thinking intentionality as far as like getting married
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: or finding someone to marry is almost like, you know,
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: when you book a plane somewhere the most the most
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: romantic destination you want to go to. Are you going
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: to book direct are you gonna are you gonna have
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: connecting flights for me? For me? Intentionality, if you're looking
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: to find that one person, it's almost like booking a
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: direct flight. You know what you know, you know point A,
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: you know point B. So I'm at the point now
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: that at sixty two with you know, with with dating
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: before married and then getting divorced, and then dating after divorce,
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: and then the relationships after the show. I'm not looking
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: for connecting flights. I'm not looking for baggage. I'm not
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: looking to see if I'm going to lose any luggage
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: in the transition. I'm looking for a direct a direct.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: Flight, direct flight. Yeah, you're going point A to point B.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: I like that, I mean, and that's true.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: You know, I've often said a lot about like with
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: the Golden Franchise one of the things, like for example,
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: with UH with Gary and Teres for example, where I
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: thought they kind of you know, missed on it was I.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: Thought, man, you know why?
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: And here again, I mean, it's obviously something that's important
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: to you too, Like it sounds like you do want
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: to be married again, or you you at least want
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: to have that that committed companionship with someone, you know.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: For them, I was like, they got grandkids, you know,
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: in different places, Like it's gonna be really hard to
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: get married and leave your grandkids. Like you know, I
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: guess every situation is different, and everybody's different with what
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: they need of a relationship, and you know, those things
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: have to be weighed and measured, and you have to
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: think about them and like you said, they have to
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: be respected. When you hear people say things like like
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: kind of superfluous things like oh, you know, I would
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: not date a guy who's under six foot and I
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: will not date a guy who's you know, over seventy.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: You know, do you think that kind of stuff. Isn't
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: that getting kind of ridiculous at this point? Or do
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: you think that it's one of those things where love
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: is love and if you find it, you find it
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: and you're lucky no matter how it's packaged.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that. I think it is pretty ridiculous
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: if you put those kind of like measures on yourself,
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: because yeah, you may be looking, you may be cutting
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: out the great opportunity to meet the best person in
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: your life, you know. Yeah, And like you said, love love,
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: love is love and love love knows. I mean, once
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: once Cupid draws back, that arrow man knee shoots, just
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: like you know what, you don't know what hits you,
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: and you you might be looking for the specific person height, age,
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: hair color, and then all of a sudden someone comes
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: out of the blue and you're like, what the what
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: the hell happened?
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, sound think that's what happened to you. You
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: were you were pretty much bound to termined. Twenty twenty
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: five was going to be a disaster. Oh and now
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: you've kind of already started that turnaround process.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: And it sounds like finding someone special. And you know,
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you know with the age your kids.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: Are at too. Now, I've kind of I'm a pretty
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: good math guy. So I'm guessing there what late teens.
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: Probably my my daughter, My daughter is seventeen, she's a
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: senior in high school now, and yeah, she and her
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: team are killing it on the volleyball court. They're thirty
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: six and so far this year on the feat, you
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: haven't even lost one set.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: My son is thirteen, he's going to be fourteen here
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: next month, and he's in the seventh grade. So yeah,
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: they are growing and and yeah, so it's like you
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: know what, you know, I've had my fair shake at
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: the relationships, you know, And you know, Bob, it's like,
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: you know what I've always, I've always I don't want
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: to say I'm naive at love, but it's like you
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: know what I I just when I fall in love,
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: I fall hard and I fall fast. And so you know,
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: what's what's happening now is that we're in our time.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: I have someone in my life that's saying, you know what,
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: slow down? You know?
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, and you had your kids a little later too,
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: Like I mean you had your kids sounding like forty
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: five and forty eight, forty five and forty So I.
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: Have my daughter when I was forty six forty six.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, so I had you know, my first child.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: You know, we have our first child when I was
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: forty eight forty eight, and then my second when we
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: were fifty. So, I mean, you're kind of in a weird,
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: a different spot from a dating divorce guy who's technically
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: golden right, because most of the goldens, I guess would
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: have probably the majority if they if they've got kids,
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: they are probably married with kids and their grandpa's You're
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: not right. You got kids in high school, you got
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: younger kids still, So does that factor in when you're dating?
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: Like do you how how soon? How soon do you
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: tell the story of your divorce? How soon do you
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: bring up the kids? When do they get to meet
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: the kids?
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: How I mean, is there is there some hard fast
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: rules for you on that stuff?
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: Uh? Like I said, with the intentionality all that, all
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: that kind of came out in the beginning conversations. Yeah, yeah,
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: you know, you know exactly who you are, who I am,
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: what's going on in your life. And then just like
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: you know, then you have the then you have the
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: choice of whether you want to continue to go on
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: and go on with that or not. And so uh
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: so yeah, so uh so there's continuity there and uh
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: and so, like it was kind of funny though, like
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: when the show is like you know when when uh,
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: you know, being Golden and uh and it was, and
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: people had found out that I had younger kids. Yeah,
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: I was just cracking up with some of the comments
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: because they were thinking that my kids were like, you know,
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: they're like, well, who's going to want to date a
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: guy that's got you know, they're going to take care
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: of his kids, like like their infants or toddlers. I'm like,
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: you know what, you know, my my daughter's in high school,
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: my son's going to be in high school the next day.
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: You know what, I'm pretty much close to being an
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: empty mester. I mean I'm like basically basically five years away,
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: and so meeting someone with the intentionality of like knowing
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: that Hey, I'm looking at a five year window basically
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: of you know, getting my kids through school when they're
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: off and doing their own things. Like you know what,
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: if we've already built a five year relationship and I'm
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: ready to spread my wings and relocate somewhere, then we've
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: already got a good foundation for that beginning to happen.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah. No, it makes sense to me. I get it.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: And I was thinking about that because I mean, not
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: that I'm playing on, you know, getting divorced, but I
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: would be that guy, right, I'd be you know, when
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: I'm sixty two. I mean, geez, when I'm sixty two,
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: that would be what eight years for me. Grayson would
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: be fourteen, you know, Blake would be twelve, so be
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: right in that same you know, Wheelhouse, I guess a
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: little bit.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: Younger for you than what you've got.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: But yeah, well, I mean at the end of the day,
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: I would have to imagine that a lot of the
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: uh relationship qualities that that you're looking for, you know,
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: I would imagine you're looking for someone with some empathy,
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: You're looking for someone with a big heart, someone who
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: you know is willing to allow you to be yourself,
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: but also isn't afraid to let you know what they
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: need from you. And it sounds like she's done that
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: and you're perfectly capable and happy with uh, with the
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: way things are going. So for that, I'm I'm so
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: excited to hear. I mean, you're such a great guy,
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: and I love seeing you happy, buddy, And you can
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: tell that you've found someone who is making you happy,
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: so you know, good for you.
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: And here's the thing too, about with the with the
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: intentionality and kind of knowing what we both are looking for,
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: it kind of spares me in a sense that of
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: things if if we find out that maybe it's not
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: meant to be and we're but we've got this opportunity
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: to be friends. What happens, though, is that what has
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: happened in my previous relationships is that jumping in fast
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: and falling out fast is really really destroys my heart
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: and spirit this last relationship, man, I mean it, it really,
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: it really really hurt, and and so it gives me
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: the opportunity to say, you know, i'd look back and say,
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: you know what, if I don't want to feel that
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: kind of that kind of pain again, then uh, yeah,
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: maybe I do need to take it slow. When I
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: find that person again, you know, what are those boundaries
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: and what are those intentions and things like that, because
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: if if we find out, you know, after getting to
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: know each other and and kind of knowing what we're
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: walking into and what we both want. But if it
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: doesn't work out, least we know that we can walk
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: away friends and I won't feel like I'm falling off
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: the cliffs somewhere with right.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: You know, yeah, I get that.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: I mean that that's kind of part of it too,
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: Like I always think about that with people you know
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: that are dating, that are single with with children. You know,
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: you never want to take your kids down that path
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: too often either, Right, So it's like, exactly, God bid
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: you keep introducing them to everybody that you think is
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: gonna be the next great thing, and they and that
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: person's gone, and now that your kids are like, you
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: know what's going on. You know, I'm sure it's confusing. So,
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: you know, good for you on being a little more
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: protective of that. You know, I think it's hard when
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: you're I mean, because I get it. You know, you
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: fall in love and you think this is it, this
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: is the greatest thing in the world, and then now
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: he probably be a little bit of time. You have
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: that retrospect or you can look back and you're like, Okay,
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: I can see why this didn't work right, and I'm
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: gonna change this moving forward. I'm gonna do something different
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: this next time around. And you know, so, I think, well,
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: one thing I think this is kind of great too,
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: is now that you and Gary are both dating.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, you know, you guys rolling into Detroit. We'll
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: grab canyon, we'll all go out on double date. We'll
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: go triple date, triple date. What do you say, right? Yeah?
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: When are you guys swinging through the detown anytime soon?
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: The motor city needs you, buddy.
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, Well you know I've never been to Detroit.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: Oh buddy, that's a loss.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: Well I will say this, if you haven't been able
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: to get here before about the middle of November, wait
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: till spring.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: The winners are brutal.
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: But how about this, because I do think you're someone
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: who would you strike me as someone who would.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: Give very good advice. Do you have any parting.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: Words, you know, any anything that you could say to
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: people out there who you know, I think are going
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: through divorce or going through a relationship breakup and who
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: are you know, maybe feeling a little helpless right now,
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: or maybe feeling a little bit defeated, you know, anything
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: that you could share with them, because I mean, you
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: even said one of the things you said that I
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: didn't really touch on, but I heard it, and I
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: don't want you to think I didn't, but I heard
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: you say, you know, you were beginning to wonder if there.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: Was something wrong with you, and maybe you know you weren't.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: Are you know, not lovable?
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: Not feeling you know, I get why people feel that
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: when they're going through those hard times, and I've definitely
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: been there myself.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: But any advice that you have.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: Now that you're where you're at right now emotionally and
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: spiritually and everything else that you could give people while
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: they're going through a dark time.
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: Like that, Yeah, I tell you it's the advice I
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: would give is that you know what you know? Uh,
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: I understand that that love is not for the faint
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: at heart. You know, it's a it's a wonderful feeling
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: to fall in love. It's a wonderful feeling to be
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: in love, but when you when it happens, when it
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: when when things end suddenly or they they just stop.
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: It hurts, and it's a human emotion, and it's like,
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: you know what, it's an emotion to uh, to embrace,
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: it's an emotion to feel, you know, and uh, as
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: difficult as it is, you know, you know, if you
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: get to the point where you know you're you know, isolating,
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: you know, reach out to one of your closest friends
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: that you feel that you can confide in, that you
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: can say whatever you need to say to that person
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: and and trust that they're not going to repeat anything,
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: but that you are able to get something out to someone,
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: That you can get something out of your heart to
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: share with someone, and so, uh that's part of the
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: healing process. And so uh, you definitely need to take
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: time for yourself. For me, I'm a pretty spiritual guy,
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: and so you know, I relied on a lot of
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: a prayer and meditation and then when I when I
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: do get isolated, I try to get out of the
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: house or I go to the gym. It's tough to
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: even it's tough to even want to go into the
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: gym to work out when you're feeling like that.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well because you feel like everybody's yeah, happier
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: than you and looking at you sideways, it's like, what's
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: wrong with that dude?
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: You know or whatever? I get it. Yeah, I've been there.
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: But once you once you start taking those steps on
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: the cardio machine or you start lifting those weights that
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: resistant exercise, you get those kind of like endorphins going
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: inside of you and you start feeling a little physical
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: strength back. You know, because you've probably been laying around,
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: you probably haven't been eating eating, and so you're probably
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: physically weak. And so when you start putting nutrition back
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: in your body and you start working out and getting
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: out in a little bit, your strengthen your body and
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: your mind and your soul. And then just and just
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: take your time, you know, don't try to rush back
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: into things. You know. It's like, you know, you can't
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: rush being happy. You know, uh R want the gratification
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: of instant happiness, but the happiness is a result is
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: a byproduct of doing estimable things.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: I know that when I felt low and broken hearted
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: and and you know, I felt like my self esteem
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: was just really really low. And a good friend of
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: mine told me is that, you know what, when you're
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: going through stuff like that, do esteamable things, whether It's
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: as simple as you know, what if you've if you've
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: just been letting your dishes pile up in the sink
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: because you don't have the energy or spirit to wash
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: your dishes. Go wash your dishes. Yeah, go clean the sink,
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: Go wash your car. Go. I love to vacuum.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: Vacuuming is way, That's what I do every day. It's
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: my favorite.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: Man.
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: I love the vacuum.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's knew I liked you. I'm a big vacuum guy.
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: You know what I think, you know, like what you
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: said earlier, I think you know you and I are
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: I think like a kindred spirits. It's like almost like
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: you know, we're like spitting image of image of mirrors
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: of each other. You know.
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, if I'm a buddy, I've never been
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: better looking, then thank you for that. You're a handsome man, brother.
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: I'll take it. No, I'm just I'm making life, But no,
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: thank you. I I definitely think that. I mean a
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: lot of the things you've said today and in your
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: past interviews too, when I've seen him pop up, I mean,
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: they resonate. You know, I've I think we've all been there.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: People hate to admit it. That they've been there. But
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: you know, I was fortunate enough to find some great
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: people to talk to, you know, I mean I went
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: to therapy. You know, I wasn't afraid to lean on that.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: And it wasn't a bad word for me. In fact,
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: it helped me quite a bit to you know. I
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: used to jokingly say, my mom and I just took
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: a little trip with my mom this past weekend. I
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: told her, I said, you know what they say, mom,
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: if it isn't one thing, it's your mother. And she
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: just starts laughing, you know, like just getting just kid.
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: But it was funny because you know, I had such
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: a great childhood growing up, and I had you know,
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: so part of me was like, you know, well, gosh,
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: why am I not able to find a successful relationship?
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: And I think a lot of it was based on
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: my expectation and needing to find the right person who
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: was willing to let me be me but was also
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: willing to call me out, call me out when I
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: needed it, and uh and you know, and and I
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: think I've found that. And it's like, you know, and
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: it's one of those things that sometimes it takes some
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: of us longer than others, right. So I mean from
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: that perspective, as long as you're never going to stop
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: looking for whatever will complete you in whatever way you
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: need to be completed, I think that's that's part of
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: the process too. And I love to hear that you're
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: you're doing that, and I love that you found someone
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: that you know is filling your cup. You know, so
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: good for you, my friend. Nothing, nothing can make me
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: happier than to see you happy.
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: And Bob, check this out. There's there's something new that
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: that I was introduced to that I that I never
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: knew in any of my previous relationships. The five stages
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: of love. Are you familiar with those?
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: No? I know the five stages of grief. I don't
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: know the five stages of love.
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: This is good, Okay, So the five stages of love,
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: if I can remember them correctly. Okay, So the first stages,
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: you know, the obvious one. It's like you meet someone's
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: tacular and you're like heads over heels over each other
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: and everything is lovey dovey and all this other stuff,
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: holding hands, kissing and whatever the case may be.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: Uh.
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: Step two is the uh Step two is the is
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: the critical stage that I found out that uh, that
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: a lot of people get stuck in and can't get
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: out of. And then that's where a lot of great
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: relationships probably end. It's the uh, it's the stage where
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: you know, you're starting to really get to know that
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: person and some of those important questions that need to
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: be asked. Once they're asked, either you put up your
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: walls of defensiveness and you walk away, or you get
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: get into little arguments or whatever and you can't get
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: past stage two. Yeah, so that's where a lot of
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: people get stuck and uh. And then the third stage
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: is the third stage is that you know, uh, you know,
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: you pretty much got to handle You got out of
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: stage two, everything is great. Then stage four is like,
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: you know what, you can really imagine your life with
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: this person. You start doing things where you're actually building
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: your life with that person. You you understand who that
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: person is. And then stage five is that that's that's
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: that's the honeymoon stage basically right there is that you
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: are you are going to spend the rest of your
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: life with that person. Stage five. One of the things
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: that I one of the things that I remember when
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: I was after going through the divorce, I mean, I
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: was like sitting in the car by myself, just broken hearted.
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: And I was in in downtown Omaha and I saw
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: walking down the street this couple. I think they must
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: must have been in their nineties. I mean, but they
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: were in great shape walking down the street. But they
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: were walking hand in hand, and I was thinking, as
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: old as they are, they're still walking hand in hand.
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: So there obviously have been in stage five for a
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: long time. They got past stage two. So I would
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: say to anyone that's maybe going through something right now,
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: think of it. Look at it as stage too. This
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: is this is a difficult stage that if you really
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: care about that person, you really think that you want
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: to spend more time and maybe you're time with that person,
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: you got to get out of stage two. Answer difficult questions, humble,
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: humble yourself, and expose yourself and be really really vulnerable.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: No, I love that man. You speaking of being vulnerable,
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, thank you for sharing.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: I mean, you know, this is stuff that I know
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: isn't easy to talk about all the time, and so
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: I really appreciate you being on the pod with us.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: I really appreciate you sharing that and sharing your feelings
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: and your experiences. You know, a lot of people relate
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: to you, man, and and I think whether whether it's.
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: You know, because you're you're a sweet and kind person,
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: or whether you put it out there or whatever it
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: might be.
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: You know, there's a lot of people that aren't deserving
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: of the attention they get, and I always thought that
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: you were, and I think that you are and U
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: and I appreciate you. So I'm glad that you were
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: willing to come on the show and talk about this
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: and be vulnerable and be open about it and share
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: where you're at with things.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: I think.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: I think I'm not the only one who's sitting here
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: really happy for how things are shaping up for your
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: twenty twenty five as you roll into twenty twenty six,
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: given that it started like a disaster.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: So I'm really happy to hear about the rebound.
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: Well, man, it's good to be back on the show
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: with you. It's good to see your face and your smile.
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: And you're dimp on man, you know what, you know,
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: you got one hell of a dimple too.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: My brother, Oh, I know, we got Boddy.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you, man, if we got to figure out
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: the top part of this, but otherwise we're twins.
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: Just shave it.
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: Just shave it off. You'll enjoy it.
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: Oh no, I kind of. I'm pretty fortunate right now.
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: I was thinking about the other day when my buddies like,
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: I know you color your hair. I said, I swear
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: to you, I've never colored my hair. He's like, you're
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: fifty four, you have no grades. I'm like, oh, buddy,
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: I've got grays. I just got really thick hair. You
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: s aren't seeing them yet. Trust you get close enough.
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: But thank you, buddy. I love you being on the show.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: I'm happy for your happiness. I hope we can connect
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: sometime soon.
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: Well, Bob, you know what, it's good to see. It's
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: good to see you. I love I love seeing the
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: images of you with your family and your kids. It's like,
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: you know what, it's like, you know when I when
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: I see that, you know, when I see you, it's like,
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: you know, I see it's like, you know what. I
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: love that. I love seeing your happiness with your family.
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: And so just keep it up, my brother.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: Thank you, brother.
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: The same to you, Jonathan, Jonathan rowd everybody, thank you
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: so much for joining us, buddy, and for everybody else
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: out there.
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, let us know, you know, if you're ready to.
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: Date again, you need some help Davigt navigating your dating landscape.
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: Call us or email us the show. The email infos
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: of the show notes, so make sure you check it out.
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: Follow us on the socials. Make sure to ready to
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: review the podcast. It's I Do Part two, an iHeartRadio
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: podcast where falling in love is the main objective.