Latest / LAUNCH: Parenting Tips for Raising Adult Children & Building Better Relationships / #9: If You Do Nothing Else For Your Kid - Teach Them These 10 Life Skills

Transcript

#9: If You Do Nothing Else For Your Kid - Teach Them These 10 Life Skills · LAUNCH: Parenting Tips for Raising Adult Children & Building Better Relationships

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a parent of an adult child, worried and frustrated because they are struggling to become independent, responsible, and find purpose in their life, or you want to know what to do to prevent it, you're in the right place.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is Launch, a podcast that helps you guide your adult child to launch confidently into adulthood.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sherry Jones, author, educator, and co-parenting canceling, taking a deep dive into the ongoing challenges that you're faced with as you watch your adult child struggle.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Each episode will deliver actionable steps and strategies that you can take to help your young adult become confident, motivated, and self-sufficient.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Parents, if you want your adult child to achieve a life of independence, thrive in this world, and reach their full potential, then listen in to launch.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sherry Jonas, and this is Launch.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: On today's episode, I'll be sharing my top 10 most important life skills that I believe every young person, from pre-adolescence to adulthood, should learn in order to thrive in the world.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: The age range that I'm referring to here is from 10 to almost 30 years old.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is the ideal time to teach such critical life skills because it is during those years that so much emotional and psychological growth takes place.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Before age 10, children are generally too young to fully grasp the complexities of these skills.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: But there's no reason why parents can't start teaching simpler, more modified versions.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And after 30 years of age, while of course it's still possible to learn these, it's definitely more challenging because adults can become a bit more set in their ways, making it harder to form new habits, especially good ones.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: But teaching life skills during the impressionable years of 10 to 30 is so much easier.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Studies have shown actually that the human brain keeps developing even past the age of 25, especially in the important areas like decision making, self-control, and managing emotions.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to prepare your child in order to help them become more capable of making responsible decisions, of navigating life's obstacles, of building healthy relationships and living independently, these 10 life skills will give them their best chance.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: I can't stress this enough.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: By mastering these fundamental skills, your child will develop the confidence, the drive, and the resilience needed to build a self-sufficient life.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: So in this episode, I'm going to go over each life skill briefly, and then I'll provide you with suggestions that you can or your child can do to move things along.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want a copy of these, there's a link in the show notes and I'll send it to you for free.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: But before I get into them, you should know that these are not basic skills that would just benefit children.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: These are transformational skills and are meant for anyone who wants to improve the quality of their life.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: So as I review them, don't just think about whether or not your child is practicing them, but ask yourself, are you?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, first is to prioritize mental and emotional health.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Young people must understand that their mental health and emotional well-being are their number one priority.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, they'll never be able to handle stress, develop coping strategies, and build up their inner strength.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: This is non-negotiable.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing matters more than keeping their mental and emotional health in check and asking for help when they feel unstable.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: So how do they do it?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: By becoming mindful, which really means becoming aware of our own thoughts and emotions, but without judgment.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: There are many ways to do this: breathing techniques, guided meditations, spending time in nature, and engaging in what I call a digital detox, which means replacing screen time with calming activities like reading and journaling.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: When we learn how to quiet our mind, we become self-aware.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that's something many young people are not taught to do.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: But there is nothing more important for our mental health.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: The second is to focus on physical well-being.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: It is vital that young adults get into the practice of living a clean and healthy lifestyle because creating good habits when they're young will set them up for life.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Clearly, this goes hand in hand with focusing on one's mental health, because if your physical well-being is not a priority, well, eventually your emotional well-being will be affected.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that goes both ways.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: So how do they do it?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: They eat healthy, they get good nights' sleeps, they exercise regularly, create good hygiene habits, and get regular physical checkups.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Third is to develop good communication skills.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Effective communication isn't something we're all naturally born with.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's a skill that many people need to learn and develop over time.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: These are the tools that we use to connect with the world around us.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: Learning how to communicate will help build friendships, romantic relationships, and will encourage them to engage in social activities that they might normally refrain from.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: So how do they do it?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: They can develop these skills by practicing verbal and nonverbal communication techniques like making eye contact when they speak, showing a genuine interest in other people, asking open-ended questions, practice active listening, and having more face-to-face conversations.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: They have to start sharing their opinions and expressing their thoughts, and they can start with people whom they are more comfortable with, which will help them to develop the confidence that what they say matters.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because let's be honest, they are not comfortable speaking because they think people don't care, but the good ones do.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth is to build strong social connections.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Building strong connections, whether through friendships, relationships, or finding a community of like-minded people, is the key to happiness.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's not just my opinion.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Although I couldn't be more grateful for the longest lasting, most beautiful friendship that I've had for almost 50 years, and you know who you are.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: I thank my lucky stars every single day for this friendship.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Young adults need to understand this.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: You do not need an army of acquaintances to be happy, but you do need a few really good friends, even just one or two.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Extensive research has shown that high-quality relationships are the number one factor for happiness.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: They help us feel connected, supported, understood, and loved.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that is what we all need to thrive.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do we do it?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: By joining clubs, groups, or volunteering.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Your young adults can take classes, they can sign up for programs, and they can attend community events that will help them to cultivate friendships and enrich their social life.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And here's one of my favorite suggestions, and my husband will attest to this: reconnect with people from your past.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Fifth is to learn money management and become financially literate.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's astounding to me how many young adults have no clue about money management, which explains why 60% of Americans have credit card debt in excess of$1 trillion.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: 61% of people live paycheck to paycheck.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, learning money management and becoming financially literate are crucial life skills for young adults.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Saving money, budgeting, and investing allows them to plan for their future and achieve financial independence.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: By mastering these skills, they'll be better prepared to handle unexpected expenses, build wealth, and create a stable foundation for a successful and secure life.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do they do it?
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: First things first, open up a bank account for your child.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: If they are not working yet, consider giving them an allowance.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: I know of a parent who was constantly giving his son$20.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, it became almost daily.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: This is quite common, actually.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: So my suggestion was that he give him a monthly allowance to teach him the value of money and to see what it feels like when it runs out at the end of the month.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even want to tell you how well that turned out.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: That young man has grown up to be an extremely savvy businessman.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, giving an allowance, even a small one, almost always gets the money management ball rolling.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: If they have a job, then they'll need to download an app that allows them to track their spending so they can see where their money is going.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, they should do this even if you decide to give them a monthly allowance.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: They'll need to learn about budgeting and saving their money by setting aside a portion of their income or allowance each month, which is why a bank account is so important.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: I used to love watching my little bank balance grow with each deposit.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: I think I still have my first bank book.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, when they're a bit older, they'll learn about investment options.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, you will have to talk to them about building their credit without going into debt.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be doing an episode all about teaching young adults how to help them become financially literate, since it's such a big part of adulting.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Six, practice time management skills.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is an essential life skill to learn because once mastered, young adults can balance work, personal, and social life while staying on top of their responsibilities.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Practicing time management is key to adulting because not only does it help prioritize tasks and improve productivity, but it reduces stress and anxiety, which many young adults struggle with.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: How do they do it?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Start by having them make daily schedules.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: They need to create to-do lists where they can prioritize their tasks into small, manageable steps.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's really up to you to teach them to write out their daily routines and to set deadlines, which will help them to stop procrastinating.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, if you can model it by planning, scheduling, and balancing your family work and personal life, this would be incredibly helpful for them.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Seven is mastering problem solving and critical thinking.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: This life skill helps young adults look at challenging situations and come up with their own solutions, making them less reliant on you.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: This also builds their self-confidence.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Once your adult child develops the skills for dealing with everyday issues, they'll naturally become more independent and more adaptable.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: They won't see every problem like it's the end of the world, but rather just a natural part of living an adult life.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: How do they do it?
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Young adults can build problem solving and critical thinking skills by tackling real life challenges and discovering solutions to resolving their own conflicts.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Your job is to encourage your young adult to address their problems and discuss possible solutions with you, guiding them with questions instead of providing all the answers.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: These strategies will empower them to think critically and to tackle challenges on their own, which means you're going to need to start letting go of micromanaging everything so they can learn how to think on their feet and handle problems with confidence.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Next is number eight, cultivate resiliency.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: What does this mean?
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Becoming resilient helps young adults to handle setbacks, to adapt to change, and persist to adversity.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Resiliency helps them to bounce back from failure, cope with stress, and keep a positive outlook, even when faced with difficult situations.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Without resilience, challenges can feel overwhelming, making it really hard for them to recover and move forward.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: Ultimately, developing this skill builds mental strength, emotional stability, and confidence too, all of which are essential for long-term happiness.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: How do they do it?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'll be honest, becoming resilient is not easy because it's something that young adults need to develop through real life experiences, which means they need to start stepping outside of their comfort zone and face difficult or uncomfortable situations.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Young adults who experience some sort of adversity learn that no problem is as overwhelming as it seems and that each challenge offers valuable lessons.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: This skill is all about reframing negative or anxious thoughts and learning to view setbacks as not only temporary, but an opportunity to grow.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Over time, this mental skill will strengthen their ability to cope when things don't go as planned.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: They must learn to ask themselves, what went wrong?
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: What did I learn?
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: And how would I have handled it differently, or how will I handle it differently the next time?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: My last point on this is how important it is to develop the habit of being grateful.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: By looking at the bright side, the lesson will help them to have a better perspective after it's all over.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: This life skill is truly amazing because your young adult can learn that life's challenges do not define them, but how they handle them will.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: We're getting close to the end, so I hope I haven't lost you, and I've saved the best one for last.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: We're still on number nine, which is learn household skills.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is so boring, but so essential.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Learning household skills, such as cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, even basic home repairs, leads to self-reliance, responsibility, and resourcefulness, all of which are critical for independent living in adulthood.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: These skills can also help young adults learn about time management and hopefully develop some organizational skills, but I'm not entirely sure that that will apply to everyone.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: However, one of the most important lessons regarding competency in household chores is that it teaches young adults how to maintain a healthy living environment, which directly impacts their emotional well-being.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's why it feels so good when our home is tidy and there's groceries in our fridge.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: So how do they do it?
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna teach them.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can't, if you can't teach them household skills, then have them watch YouTube videos.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: That is all I'm gonna say about that.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: Every human being should know how to manage their own home.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: And the last life skill is one of my favorites.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: Make goal setting and future planning a habit.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is all about creating a vision for achieving short and long-term dreams.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I am one of those people who believe that when you set your mind on something, you can accomplish it.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Call it whatever you want, manifesting, positive thinking, or just plain goal setting.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you believe it or not, I want you to encourage your children to dream about their future, think about it, make plans, and let them imagine what it would feel like if all their wishes became their reality.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: How do they do it?
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: This is definitely going to be an episode all by itself.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: But depending on their age, you should start asking them what they want to be or do when they grow up or when they're finished school.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: There are so many ways to get children thinking or rather dreaming of their future, whether it's vision boards, journaling, even drawing pictures, there is something very magical that happens when humans of all ages think about themselves in the future.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll leave it at that.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: Before I wrap this up, I want to share a story with you that will help you understand why I feel so strongly about this life skill.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: When I was younger, my father was a big dreamer.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: I often thought of him, though, as Willie Lohman from Death of a Salesman because sadly he never quite became what he had hoped for.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: But that's because he never truly believed in himself.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yet my father managed to instill this in me.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: He would send me these inspirational audio tapes from Zig Ziggler.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know that name, then we're from the same generation.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: He also sent me books to read, like Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz and Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, so that I would develop the mentality that whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: I learned at a very young age how powerful my mind and my thoughts are.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: I began to write out my dreams, my plans, my goals, imagining everything that I could ever want to be, do, or have in my life.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I will tell you this: that is the single most impactful life lesson that anyone has ever taught me, and I have my late father to thank for it.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, I have passed this life skill on to my children.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Just recently, I texted them in our group chat saying that I was going to write out what I wanted to accomplish and envision for myself in the last 90 days of 2024 as a precursor to my 2025 goals.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't need to tell them to do it because I knew they probably would on their own.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: My children have been writing in their journals, and we all have some version of vision boards in our homes.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, I practice what I preach here because I believe that every single one of these 10 life skills, when taught to children, especially between the ages of 10 and 30, is everything they need to navigate their life, meet whatever challenges they face, and become whoever they dream to be.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sherry Jonas, and this is Launch.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: I hope today's episode gave you valuable insights and actionable steps that will help you guide your young adult to launch successfully into adulthood.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: If you found this topic helpful, feel free to leave a comment and hit the subscribe button so you never miss an episode.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: Leaving a five-star review helps us reach more parents who are dealing with the same issues.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: And if there's something you want to ask me, I invite you to join Launch Advice, my weekly publication where I answer one question from parents just like you.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's free advice that will appear in your inbox probably when you need it the most.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: Just click Launch Advice in the show notes and don't forget to email me your confidential question.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, no one ever said parenting is easy, especially when you're raising an adult.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: Talk to you soon.