Latest / DiceSized / Happenstance Heroes: Part 1 - Characters [PUBLIC]

Transcript

Happenstance Heroes: Part 1 - Characters [PUBLIC] · DiceSized

0:00
Hello friends, before we get to our bite sized dice roll twice
0:03
told story, today we'd like to take a moment to showcase
0:05
another fantastic podcast out there that's been inspiring us
0:08
here at Dice Sized RPG Major. Isn't your typical RPG mystery
0:13
actual play? Every investigation unfolds as
0:15
an improvised musical with brand new songs inspired by the story
0:18
in each episode. Perfect for any and all fans of
0:21
RPGs, improv, or musical theater.
0:23
We like these guys so much we took a note from their book and
0:26
wrote a song about them. So settle in while I cast the
0:28
7th level pod shift spell and take a listen.
0:31
Then we'll be on to our show. A siren and a queen chase
1:02
secrets through the night, turning whispers into music,
1:07
parkness and delight. Keep.
1:11
Your eyes peeled for the cryptids and for chaos on those.
1:18
They're on the case. Cut to the chase.
1:22
There's nothing they can't smooth.
1:26
There is nothing minor about RPG.
1:29
Major So do us a favor and lend them your.
1:33
EAR RPG major is anything but minor.
1:38
They're harmonies You. Love to hear.
2:03
RPG major is an actual play like Noah.
2:07
Welcome to Snapdragon Landscaping and Investigation.
2:10
I know you guys handle mysteries that are non standard.
2:14
I think that one of my coworkers is a changeling.
2:17
I was conjured. I am the pirate King Fabio from
2:20
the books. You're not asking the questions
2:21
that normal people ask. Can.
2:23
I do a quick check to. Figure out if this man is a
2:24
ghost and doesn't know it. I'm.
2:26
Going to need a discipline check.
2:28
No, no. Give me a.
2:30
Actually, if your song about this is good enough, it'll just
2:33
happen, so make it a good one. That's right, it's a musical,
2:48
but all the songs are made-up on the spot.
2:50
You're not lying to me, you. See me try to lie now.
2:52
Raise your voice and take your place in this world.
2:55
I never wanted to hate you. I never wanted you to be gone.
2:58
You have to understand that I don't know how much I can even
3:01
trust you right now. Do you know why I even came here
3:03
today? For laughs, mystery storytelling
3:29
with hearts and new songs every week, subscribe to RPG Major.
3:46
Welcome to die sized, and welcome to happenstance heroes.
3:51
You might be thinking, hey, this doesn't sound like Rob, and
3:53
you'd be right. This is Sav, taking over the
3:56
treasured throne of my favorite DM and husband to bring you
3:59
bonus content of epically improvised proportions.
4:03
I have to start by saying thanks to my lovely table of family and
4:06
friends for taking a risk and handing me the reins for this
4:09
session. I can only hope to spoil you
4:11
with chaos and calamity the way Rob has done so well for us.
4:16
Speaking of this lovely table, it's time to introduce these
4:19
goons, starting with my brilliant brother-in-law George.
4:23
Hey. It's G.
4:24
I'm so excited to have a leader of the table switch up here.
4:29
Happy to pass it off right away to get to it.
4:32
Thanks for having me guys. Of course, Next up we have my
4:36
brave bestie, Maya. Hi, I'm Maya.
4:39
You can call me Maya. Before this, Sav came into the
4:42
dark basement and put a bag back over my head.
4:45
So again, back to the darkness. And last but certainly not
4:50
least, my hilarious husband, Rob.
4:54
I don't even know what to say. I feel Dumber on this side.
4:56
I don't know I is it is that I'm unprepared.
4:59
I'm I'm I actually, I do have one word which is proud.
5:04
I'm so proud of you. I'm so excited for this and
5:06
typically Sav runs a dope one shot for me alone on Valentine's
5:11
Day. So for her to bring you guys
5:13
into this, you guys should be very thankful, honored as as am
5:16
I to be a player at this table here tonight.
5:19
Well, I am so lucky to be here with.
5:21
Ohio. My name is Rob by the way.
5:24
I hope they've got that by now. Are we ready to hear what we've
5:28
got in store for you today? Are we ever?
5:31
Oh yeah? Well, good.
5:32
OK, today we're going to get creative.
5:35
I don't know how to do that. That's a lie.
5:40
I designed the session to really put our improv skills to the
5:43
test. Inspired by one of our favorite
5:45
series from Dropout TV, Very important people.
5:48
The premise of the episode is this.
5:51
I've created the shell or the skeleton of three unique
5:54
characters, but with A twist. These characters, kept secret
5:58
from today's players, feature only a few details set in stone.
6:02
Stats, species, and class have all been assigned.
6:06
These predetermined parameters exist to challenge this table,
6:09
to adapt and improvise as they get creative.
6:12
The persona of these characters, however, is up to them.
6:17
I just have to say, whether you're AD and D expert or
6:20
wouldn't know where to start, the process of bringing a
6:22
character to life can be one of the most accessible, fun, and
6:25
creative parts of the game. I hope this exercise really
6:29
highlights some of the unique approaches you can take to
6:31
character creation and gives you a glimpse of how creative this
6:35
crew truly is. What would you all say your
6:38
favorite thing about creating a character is?
6:41
Is today's challenge make me squirm at all?
6:44
Oh, can I? Can I start?
6:46
Yes. Cool.
6:47
I'm squirming a little bit because I'm pretty painstaking
6:51
about character creation. I, I typically noodle over
6:54
something for quite a while, but I'm also so excited to dive into
7:00
what I find most satisfying about character creation and
7:02
just like lean into it. Like I feel like I, I typically
7:06
will get swept away by one specific aspect.
7:09
And I think I'm just going to fully dive into that today.
7:12
And so I think that's making the squirm a little bit more
7:15
excitement than anxious, but still squirming.
7:18
I love it. Good.
7:20
I don't know how to be creative. Again.
7:23
Yeah, I. I do.
7:25
I honestly believe that. And then I feel like I'm, I'm at
7:28
home right now because improv challenges me to be the most
7:32
creative that I can be. I am always the first person to
7:35
get stage fright, you know, belly aches and butterflies
7:39
before every performance. Anything that I've done
7:41
repetitiously too, so I can be 100 shows in and I'm still
7:45
melting on my feet. But when I get out there, I have
7:46
fun. So I'm excited to get the idea
7:49
in front of me. I'm shaking in my boots, but I'm
7:51
ready. It's so interesting to get that
7:52
perspective, George, because when you do get out on stage,
7:55
it's always like, you know, whether it's a real stage or the
7:57
metaphorical stage in here, you're you give calm, cool,
8:00
collected energy and I think that makes everyone else feel
8:03
really comfortable. So it's kind of funny to hear
8:05
that perspective. Greatest lie ever told.
8:10
It serves you. Never said, never say he wasn't
8:15
confident. There it is.
8:18
Makes up for a lot. I have to say, when you were
8:22
pitching this, I had nothing but oh, thank God, energy because my
8:27
least favorite part of character building is choosing this Bee
8:30
Gees and doing this. I just want to do the silly fun
8:34
stuff in the middle. And so the fact that that's
8:36
already done for me, I'm like, huge.
8:38
Let me just expand into this how I see fit.
8:41
And for this, I'm so excited. Yeah, I got, I got a second
8:46
deck. I've played enough DND at this
8:47
point where I could have fun playing anything.
8:50
I know I could have fun playing anything.
8:51
And so whatever is on that sheet, I'm going to enjoy.
8:55
The third, yeah, I definitely. Tend when I'm making characters
8:58
for like other campaigns is that I come up with who I want the
9:02
character to be and kind of have like a skeleton idea of the
9:07
background and who they are as a person and how they would react
9:10
to things. And so whenever I try to apply
9:13
that to then like a character sheet, it's almost like annoying
9:16
for me. Like I am like but but I wanted
9:19
to. But then at the same time, it
9:21
will still Dr. creativity and like create things.
9:24
But yeah, I'm happy to have this part taken away from me.
9:28
I've. Been as I created this sort of
9:31
exercise in this episode, I've been really grateful that I
9:33
would be on this side of the table because I am constantly
9:37
blown away by all of your like role play finesse and your
9:40
creativity and why I really love building characters.
9:44
I usually take a lot of painstaking time to do that.
9:48
And I kept thinking as I was designing this, like this would
9:51
be so difficult for me. So I'm so thrilled to, I mean,
9:54
I, you know, I'd be excited, but I'm so thrilled to hear all of
9:56
your like really great energy about it.
9:59
I think it's going to suit you all and I can't wait to dive in.
10:01
So, without further ado, God. Damn.
10:06
Seriously. The wizard further ado is just
10:09
always in this Wiz man. Obviously Without Further Ado is
10:17
a moniker for the In biz Wiz. In Wiz?
10:22
In Wiz? Well, anyways, perfect.
10:24
Take a Wiz. At University of Shiz.
10:28
Can you tell what we've been watching lately?
10:30
Here's how this episode will work.
10:33
George, Maya, and Rob will roll to be assigned one of my pre
10:36
built Level 3 character sheets at random.
10:39
Next, they'll reveal the few predetermined details they've
10:43
been given, including stats, class, and species, before
10:47
spending a few minutes workshopping things like names,
10:50
voices, background, lore to bring a brand new character to
10:54
life at the table. Players will then use these
10:57
characters to navigate a series of experiences and challenges.
11:01
We're bringing you along to witness on the spot character
11:04
creation and brainstorming before I challenge players to
11:07
finish building out the details in DND Beyond.
11:10
We'll shine a spotlight on some of the most noteworthy and
11:12
flavorful choices made throughout the process before
11:15
finally you'll get to hear George, Maya, and Rob try their
11:19
characters on for real through a series of interview style
11:22
questions. Their short and sweet answers to
11:24
these questions will help them settle into new personas before
11:28
finally we set off on an epic adventure together.
11:32
Here we go, I'm so. Excited.
11:38
I'm so excited. Let's.
11:40
Do baby, let's do. I cannot.
11:42
Wait for this interview. OK, can everyone give me a roll
11:47
to see what order I'm going to hand out these character sheets
11:50
in? My first.
11:53
We add our initiative, sorry. We don't have an initiative.
11:57
I'm totally gonna be a DNS. I was just gonna be nothing
12:01
less. Of course my role as a player
12:03
gonna be shit. That's an 8 for me. 6 for me.
12:06
That's a 7 for me. We are in.
12:11
Alrighty, I'm gonna let. George.
12:13
No 8. No me, I don't have 6. 678. 679
12:18
I spoke way too soon. I spoke way too soon.
12:20
Today your 8 is high. I'm gonna let you pick one of
12:24
these sheets, Rob. Leave it flipped over.
12:26
Working with analog character sheets skeletons today.
12:31
The top. Interesting, they answered, and
12:35
I'm gonna stick with the step I see ahead of me.
12:39
All right, George, take your pick.
12:41
All right, Maya. Sounds for you dream the other
12:43
night that I was a paladin for some reason.
12:45
And what oath? What oath did you take?
12:47
I. Didn't that?
12:50
Was the problem. We're about to find out.
12:54
OK, Our players have each been assigned A partially built
12:56
character sheet, but they have yet to see it yet.
12:59
Are you ready for the big reveal?
13:02
Oh boy. I'm going to ask each of you to
13:04
flip over the sheet in front of you in a moment to learn a few
13:07
choice details about who you're going to finish building.
13:10
Feel free to take us along for the ride as you read and process
13:13
the details. But Rob, can you kick us off?
13:15
I would be honored. Happenstance Heroes character #3
13:20
Oh interesting. I'm a dragonborn sorcerer.
13:25
Very fun. Cannot wait to think about that
13:28
subclass. Well I mean, am I the
13:32
dragonborn? I feel like as a sorcerer hits
13:34
so hard I'm quite strong. Oh, I'm not a very good
13:38
sorcerer. Oh no.
13:44
Oh, interesting. Sorry.
13:45
Just that first bit of you talking about how great.
13:48
Sorcerers are no no. I know I'm not very good with
13:52
this. I'm bad at my job.
13:54
I'm starting to get the name happenstance.
13:57
Yeah, we're starting to get an idea of where the chaos is about
13:59
to come into play here. Super super fun.
14:02
I can't imagine a better situation for a sorcerer be
14:06
lacking in charisma cuz. I was gonna say, what cue do you
14:09
in that you're a bad source, Yeah.
14:10
Yeah, yeah, the low charisma. Yeah, low charisma.
14:13
Yeah. Exciting.
14:15
OK, George, what are you working so?
14:16
Quite dumb, sorry last night. Well, you did say you feel
14:21
Dumber in this chair, so it does.
14:23
The -1 intelligence should actually allow me quite a little
14:25
bit more space for the role play there here.
14:28
So if use it, use it. Use the lack of intelligence.
14:33
Oh, I just got to be akuma. Yeah, I'm big akuma.
14:36
That's that's my note for now. And.
14:39
Moving on. Oh boy oh boy.
14:41
Oh happenstance heroes. Character number one, I am a
14:45
Goliath rogue. Oh.
14:48
And I also am not very good at my job.
14:51
Oh my goodness, that's awesome. OK.
14:56
What cued you into that? Well, I'm not very quick at the
15:01
the quick things. Just a slow row.
15:03
Oh. Yeah, well.
15:05
Well, you're a Goliath. That is an interesting career
15:07
path, OK. Where I come from, from where I
15:11
come from, there's bigger things to sneak around here.
15:14
I kind of stand out so. Oh my gosh, Maya.
15:19
Let's hear it. I'm sweating.
15:24
I love it. I am a gnome barbarian.
15:30
I am. Small by a mighty.
15:34
Oh, and I'm not very dexterous. OK, that's fine.
15:39
Yeah. All right.
15:40
Oh, this is a pretty decent spread, though I'm smarter than
15:43
both of you I'm assuming. You're smarter, are you?
15:45
Yeah. What's your intelligence?
15:46
Strong at all I. Got plus one string.
15:48
Oh, OK, That's like. You're not.
15:49
You're not the basketball bat. Yeah, well, I just started, so
15:52
give me a break. Interesting.
15:55
What is your intelligence? What?
15:57
I don't know. What is it I?
15:59
Already I already said it. I feel like you know the answer.
16:01
You said slow. Is there a reason that you.
16:03
Are you? Yeah.
16:03
I'm just wondering. No, I'm just wondering if like I
16:06
could be the leader of said party.
16:08
Yeah, he definitely, No, you definitely should be minus -1.
16:10
Oh, where you at? Speak of intelligence at such a
16:15
unequivocal. Yeah, what are you at?
16:16
+1. +2 I win. It's incredible getting
16:22
perfectly ahead of ourselves, as I should have expected.
16:25
All right, now we're going to go back around the table, and I
16:27
would love for each of you to talk through your thought
16:30
process and let us in a little bit on your inner monologue as
16:33
you sort of digest these details and begin formulating a
16:37
character around them. You can take a few minutes each
16:40
to try on voices, names, and anything else your brain latches
16:43
onto as you analyze these parameters.
16:46
None of this needs to be set in stone.
16:48
This is your workshop. Time to see what fits.
16:50
An experiment with vibes, not mechanics.
16:53
So we'll see how some of those stat arrays change as you make
16:57
decisions down the road. But feel free to ask each other
17:00
for input or just think out loud as you consider the specifics of
17:04
this new character. Rob, let's start with you.
17:08
Okay, well I feel like we got a pretty good peek at all of us
17:11
just now. I went immediately analytical.
17:14
I think it's probably my use of looking at MPC stat blocks and
17:18
the stats always tell. The Dragonborn Sorcerer is just
17:21
such a classic. And then my Charisma is +1.
17:24
So I'm not mad about it. But we don't have the best
17:28
barbarian, we don't have the best sorcerer.
17:31
And I'm super excited for the low intelligence because I think
17:35
intelligence and wisdom really drives my character creation or
17:39
MPC role play typically a lot. And with the low intelligence
17:44
and I'm just, I'm just a big old lug who's got some access to
17:48
magic. I actually might not be that
17:50
big. Charisma is also like the force
17:53
of my personality. So, yeah, so.
17:57
I'm not quite sure where I came from, but I'm I'm not actually
18:01
sure what actually kind of Dragon Ball I am.
18:03
But no, I'm not a Cobalt. No, no, I get that question a
18:08
lot. No, it's fine.
18:09
Yeah, I'll move out of the way. Sorry.
18:12
Sir, I'm sorry you can't smoke in here.
18:14
You seem you seem to be have a smoker.
18:16
No, it's it's just kind of, it's just kind of continuing to
18:19
happen. I don't know how to explain
18:22
this. I think I'm imagining a
18:25
character who is always obtrusive in a space but is
18:29
still small for like a dragonborn.
18:31
Mainly probably due to their like posture.
18:34
I think maybe I might go with something like Soot.
18:38
I'm imagining a character who's always in the way, doesn't know
18:41
their own strength or speed, but it's obvious to anyone else.
18:45
And so as soon as I like interact with somebody, they
18:48
don't want to interact with me because they imagine me to be
18:51
dangerous. I'm too low of intelligence and
18:55
wisdom to pick up on that, but I hopefully am kind.
19:00
We'll see. We'll see.
19:01
Thanks, Sophie. Teddy bear energy.
19:02
Yeah, otherwise I might just deserve deserve the the
19:05
reputation. We'll see.
19:06
But I think at this point I definitely don't know my own
19:09
strength or speed. And that's due to my low
19:14
intelligence, wisdom and charisma and.
19:15
Not self aware huh? Yeah, and I think the sorcerer
19:18
as sorcerer's are their magic being more innate, truly a part
19:23
of themselves. I think it's just something that
19:26
it's always been a part of me and I've never really thought
19:29
about exploring it more because I don't know, like it's just
19:33
it's just a part of me. Do you think I could do more
19:35
with it? Sorry, I am.
19:37
I am in the way once more. I'll move out of the way.
19:40
But yeah, I think that's where I'm at.
19:42
My character creation is definitely deep into the stats,
19:45
but I obviously fell into a voice there at some at some
19:48
point. So I liked it, yeah.
19:49
So it's sticking with me, I think.
19:50
So it's. A good name.
19:51
All right. I'm excited.
19:53
George, how you feeling? Oh my goodness, so nervous.
19:57
OK, so initially when I saw Goliath, I was like, OK, deep
20:01
voice. I love where this is going.
20:03
Now a little time and dove into my memory a little bit it it
20:08
feels too colliding not to. You know, make Goliath a little
20:12
bit. He, he tries his best.
20:15
I, I, I try my best. You know, I, I work in a bunch
20:19
of tough guys around me. I, I work my best, but it really
20:22
ends up being something that I, I, I just like to read books.
20:26
You know, I like hanging out with people like video games.
20:29
But you know, dad wants to be on the farm.
20:31
You know, it's you know, I snuck out and where I started
20:34
sneaking, I caught the 1st 57 times and if that 58 time, no, I
20:39
got out of there. So wholesome.
20:42
So wholesome and that also gives me the space.
20:44
I wasn't going to go big and lumbering because it seemed like
20:46
you wanted to go that direction. So I think.
20:48
You can act bigger than that now.
20:50
I can now I can actually be. Like no, I'm super sorry I'm in
20:54
the way, my bad girl. No, no, no.
20:56
Yeah, I'm always in the way. Yeah.
20:57
You know, let me let. Me.
20:58
Get it? Don't even look at me.
20:59
It's OK. Yeah, I'm in the shadows over.
21:01
Here I'm always said I'm going sideways through doorways.
21:04
Continuing to talk to me, Maybe we could, Maybe I could tell you
21:07
about the fact that I'm quite sad.
21:11
Yeah, I'm just glad that. You quite sad I'm.
21:13
Just glad that you stopped smoking.
21:14
I was. I was really worried about your
21:16
voice there. But yeah, I'm really falling
21:19
into the low decks, very mid strength for what my proportions
21:23
and class are, and super excited to build a back story at random.
21:29
Yeah. Oh shit, we get to pick a.
21:30
Background. Oh, I'm so that's.
21:32
Coming. It's coming.
21:33
Well, so far it's shaping up to be, it seems like quite a
21:36
wholesome table and so I am really counting on Maya to
21:40
either lean into or away from the.
21:44
I will be pleased pleased either way.
21:48
Cannot go wrong. Well, I'm so excited to
21:51
introduce Elsie, our gnome barbarian.
21:54
Elsie. Yeah, I know it doesn't sound
21:56
like a barbarian name. It's because I wasn't raised
21:59
this way, so I don't quite know. I'm still trying on voices but
22:06
I'm thinking more. My parents really wanted me to
22:09
follow in their footsteps of being a gardener and, you know,
22:13
landscaper in the community, but I don't think they know what
22:17
they're talking about because I'm a fighter at heart.
22:19
I'm a fighter. I'm here to protect, I'm here to
22:22
slay, and I'm here to show you the way.
22:26
When she's a poet. Yeah, I'm not +2 Intelligence
22:29
baby. So I have just been looking down
22:33
my stat sheet and kind of like writing myself little notes.
22:36
I'm like, why is the stat this way cool?
22:39
And with my Constitution being +2, that only kind of leads to
22:43
elsie's #1 preferred way of fighting is the cannonball or
22:47
being thrown. So I'm very happy to hear that
22:50
we have a very large individual here because I think the.
22:54
Kill me, just roll up in a ball. Throw me, throw me we can do.
22:57
The toss again, you just, you don't have to jump at me right
22:59
away. You're OK. 1/2 Here we go.
23:03
For my people, it's. A lot denser when you pick her
23:06
up. She has a + 2 intelligence and I
23:09
think that intelligence is mostly from like world
23:12
knowledge, earth and vegetation. So in terms of fighting and what
23:17
she should be good at as a barbarian, it's not where the
23:19
knowledge is coming from. The the intelligence is very
23:22
much yes. Well, maybe she could use it
23:24
too. And like what, what would bet be
23:26
best to like throw at someone or like the density of this rock
23:30
is, you know, great so. Intelligence is also wrapped up
23:33
in like nature and religion and you know, it's it's all over in
23:39
in checks and other places too. Totally.
23:41
I think it'll be fun to to play with that and like because she
23:44
is so small and like, you know, what can she use to be?
23:47
Mighty. And my charisma is a zero.
23:50
And I think that is just because I will refuse to accept that I
23:54
am, I think I am the best fighter and I am indeed not.
24:01
So it's my dex is, you know -1 my strength is only plus one.
24:05
So I'm, I'm looking forward to Elsie.
24:07
She's gonna be a nuisance, I think.
24:11
Damn. Oh my God.
24:12
Elsie, Elsie, if you just hold very still.
24:14
I just imagine her like walking up to the Goliath and like
24:17
kicking him in the toe like. Listen up here.
24:20
Scram. Oh God, yeah.
24:22
Scram. Damn.
24:24
OK, I am so excited to see how these characters solidify
24:28
throughout this session. OK, now our players are going to
24:31
spend a few minutes finalizing their character in D&D Beyond.
24:35
They'll choose things like background, origin, feats,
24:38
spells, equipment, and unique actions or traits to add to
24:42
their character sheet, as prompted by the character
24:44
builder. So once you've solidified these
24:46
details, we'll continue exploring your character's
24:49
personality and vibes. Ready.
24:51
Oh. Yeah.
24:53
Cool. Happenstance.
25:18
OK players, now that you've had time to finish building out your
25:22
characters in D&D Beyond, can you please share your
25:25
character's name and a few of the unique details you chose to
25:28
round out your build, including your background, origin, feat,
25:32
and how it was acquired, along with anything else you feel
25:35
highlights the personality and flavor of the character?
25:39
Whoa, whoa, do you want me to go first or something?
25:43
Obviously. OK, well, my name's Soot
25:47
Grimlet. Hi Soot.
25:50
I recently found out that I'm a Dragonborn, so I'm like, I'm
25:54
realizing that I can do a lot of things.
25:56
The Tides of Chaos called and I, I guess you could say what I'm
26:00
doing is answering them. Here's a few things that I
26:03
really loved about the character creation process.
26:05
All right, I'm going. To say this all.
26:09
I'm still finding him, but so it's got this, these burnout
26:13
vibes, which I found pretty immediately in the fact that his
26:17
charisma was low, even though I used the character creation
26:21
process to up his charisma. Cool.
26:24
Similar to what we did for our character creation for Witch
26:26
Hunter. I'm viewing that as like the
26:28
journey that he's had. Awesome.
26:30
Although I once thought I was a cobalt with just, you know, dark
26:34
black scales where everyone all the other cobalts had not dark
26:37
black scales. I recently found out I'm a
26:40
Dragonborn and so like I said, the tides of chaos.
26:43
Called and I didn't want to go full draconic sorcerer.
26:48
The the wild magic is just way funnier to me to add on to like,
26:53
oh, I found out I'm a dragon and I think I'm sorry.
26:56
It's just so it's just somebody. He's a black dragon dragonborn,
27:00
having had a black dragon ancestor and black Dragons do
27:04
acid damage. And so I think he was like super
27:07
unaware that he had any sort of draconic ancestry because he
27:09
just had really bad acid reflux. This time.
27:14
Look at. This guy in general, so it
27:16
doesn't want to be doing much. He's a Wayfarer background so.
27:20
Tell me about that. I grew up on the.
27:23
Streets surrounded by similarly I'll fated cast to us, a few of
27:30
them friends and a few of them rivals.
27:32
I slept where I could and did odd jobs for food at times.
27:35
When the hunger became unbearable, I resorted to theft.
27:39
Still, I never lost my pride and never abandoned hope. 8 is not
27:43
yet finished with me and as a Wayfarer, I've got some
27:47
proficiencies in stealth and arcana, which while I chose
27:50
Arcana, but stealth came with it and thieves tools.
27:53
I've also got the lucky feat, which I thought was really fun
27:56
in just this world that we were playing in.
28:00
And like I said, I chose to boost my charisma.
28:03
So I I see this this journey of having thought he was just a a
28:08
cobalt one of the many packs, and even though probably a
28:13
little bit more driven and independent than most cobalts,
28:17
he just never truly picked up on it due to this low intelligence
28:22
until finally like a draconic ancestry literally had to like
28:25
sprout out of him. I'm imagining puberty I think
28:27
cuz this feels like a very like driven I.
28:30
Was gonna I was gonna ask what's what's suit's name or not suit
28:35
or suit's H? Excuse me, it's it's suit man,
28:40
but it's fine. I actually don't know.
28:42
I don't think I'd actually correct you in real life.
28:44
I think suit, suit, suit, suit. But sorry, what was your
28:49
question? Age.
28:50
I was wondering, yeah, I think with though, it's because it
28:52
sounded like I kind of. Like a change.
28:54
I forget how long Dragonborn. That's a good that would.
28:57
Be a good Google I. Think that.
28:58
I think they're probably human. I think they're humanoids, yeah.
29:02
I think well, and I think they last.
29:03
Their longevity is about the same as humans.
29:06
Yeah, 80. Cool.
29:09
Yeah. And I think so I am truly around
29:11
maybe like late teens, like I think I'm truly figuring it out.
29:19
But it I went through this like really awkward puberty of
29:22
finding out I'm a dragonborn. I have a Drake Hanukkah ancestor
29:25
and I should not be one of the the pack worshipping another
29:30
dragon. So I got out of that, stopped
29:32
just giving gold to the Horde or whatever I was doing, and I've
29:36
lived on the streets for a long time, so I think I'm still doing
29:39
that and trying to figure things out.
29:42
I think I probably earn money, like my background said, through
29:45
odd jobs with odd magics. But it kind of comes and goes
29:49
and I'm still figuring out the whole sorcerer thing.
29:52
Incredible. Is there anything else about
29:54
your background you want to share, or your magical item that
29:56
you chose or anything like that? Oh, that's a good question.
30:00
I chose. I let each of them choose a
30:03
magical item. So generous the best.
30:07
Just looking for that flavor. I'm measuring with my heart
30:10
here. For my item I chose a dragon
30:13
touch to focus, and since we got to go up to the rare magic item,
30:17
mine is stirring, which allows me both advantage on initiative
30:22
roles as well as as a chromatic dragon.
30:25
I get a little bit of extra damage and I get to use it as a
30:27
spell casting focus, which is really I thought the coolest
30:29
part. It's like supposed to be a piece
30:31
of a dragon, or incorporate at least the imagery of a dragon
30:35
and with claws and scales and teeth.
30:37
And I imagine this to be like the item that I was going to
30:41
bring to the horde that awakens the draconic ancestor within me.
30:46
And like told me I was more than just one of the pack.
30:51
Cool. So how do you think you found
30:53
it? Where did it come from?
30:55
Oh, good question. I probably like a really brutal
31:00
raid where not much was gotten, so it was super important to
31:05
bring back the little, the very little loot quotas were running
31:08
high so it was a huge fucking deal that I said no and I didn't
31:14
make quota. So I was punished that night and
31:16
had to like hide it in some way and either escaped or was exiled
31:21
for said disobedience. Oh, interesting.
31:25
OK, cool. I don't really put off those
31:27
kind of vibes. I'm not really wanting to talk
31:29
about my trauma. I'm really just wanting to move
31:32
on from all of that and figure out what what magic's all about.
31:36
Interesting. OK, well it was good to me so.
31:39
Thank you. So grandma, good to meet you
31:40
guys. Getting excited to see who else
31:42
is here. What am I here for again?
31:45
George, do you want to go next? Yeah, I'd love to go next.
31:48
Let's go ahead and talk about me, Bellman, Bellman Clum.
31:54
What a ring that has. Wow.
31:58
I mean the only thing more. Dynamic than my name are my
32:01
eyebrows. It's really the only hair that
32:02
grows on my body anymore. My eyes crossed if I talk too
32:08
loud. That's shit.
32:12
I hate shoes and showers. You never really catch me in
32:15
either of them. My favorite meal is as bored
32:19
slugs. I mean, you give give slugs a
32:22
good boredom before you eat them and they just they just so much
32:24
sweeter. Bored slugs.
32:26
I used the I used to be the spokesperson for Fairy Dusters.
32:30
It's a fairy house cleaning service.
32:32
We were international. We you, you'd see me going from
32:35
cottage to cottage doing my spiel, you know, is, is your
32:38
fairy house full of dust, fluffs and floofy stuffs?
32:40
Give us a huff and a puff and we'll blow that dust right out
32:43
of there for a small fee. And 19 bits and 99 bobs.
32:45
Trust us, we'll bust that dust. Yeah, I really didn't end well
32:49
though. The total shell company I was
32:51
operating got audited and maybe the the bad PR was too much for
32:56
the fairy duster brand to keep me.
32:57
Also I was stealing from all the fairy houses so but who knows
33:01
why they really let me go. Now here we are trying to find
33:05
work in a world that really doesn't really understand the
33:09
good old film and club. Oh my.
33:12
God my face hurts from the like odd smile I just had.
33:18
On my face, casually, right in that up, over.
33:20
There, I can't. I can't believe I just.
33:22
Got so I just got. So thoroughly blown out of the
33:25
water. Incredible, George.
33:28
Really tried to improv half of that, like I ran out of things
33:30
to say at you like halfway through.
33:32
Wow, that's incredible. Tell me about, Yeah, some of the
33:35
decisions you made that sort of brought all of those beautiful
33:38
pieces of Thelma into life. Yeah, I initially followed this.
33:43
I followed the stats. I tried to, I tried to find the
33:46
strengths in my, my weaknesses. So I got the plus zero strength
33:49
at a -, 1 Dexus rogue is horrible.
33:51
But then I saw these, you know, plus 2 + 1 + 1 and +2 for my
33:55
Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom and Charisma.
33:57
So I was like, oh, what kind of stealing and hiding and sneaking
34:01
might I do in this white collar crime of.
34:04
You know, filming. Here and it inspired me to write
34:07
like kind of like this almost, you know, door to door Salesman
34:10
thinks all his actions are right just because they're they're
34:13
logical to him and does no wrong.
34:16
I can't really admit when he's wrong and just kind of keeps
34:18
logic in through it and his own rationale.
34:21
He's 8 foot but his posture really puts him at about A7.
34:25
It really effects his mood. But you know, I don't really
34:28
like being such an eyesore anyway.
34:31
I believe in being very. Precisely spoken and want to
34:35
make sure all my thoughts are being conveyed appropriately,
34:37
even if they're inappropriate at times.
34:39
And big thing about me is, you know, I don't have a lot of
34:43
friends out there, but my boy David, David got me the sling.
34:47
We met. I'm actually a Goliath.
34:48
My I actually got into the fairy duster business.
34:51
It's a family business. My great, great, great, great,
34:53
great grandfather was a giant, a giant in the fairy duster realm.
34:57
You know the business world. He was he was the greatest of
35:00
greats in a lucrative business. Same eyebrows, same eyebrows.
35:03
If you see if you could see a crystal picture, it was just Oh
35:06
my goodness. And we're gonna move into the
35:10
actual like things I picked. I'm a thief and a merchant.
35:14
So I get like the lucky feet, which is really exciting to kind
35:18
of mess with roles a little bit or giant ancestry.
35:20
I chose Clouds Jaunt which allows me a magical teleport up
35:24
to 30 feet, which I'm. Assuming is like accidental,
35:28
it's a bonus action. I don't know why I read it like
35:29
this, but I imagine it like, oh, I attack and then I just
35:32
disappear somewhere for like it's like bonking out.
35:36
I feel like the hiding that I get is really out of in your
35:40
face type of hiding. Like boring people to to to low
35:44
perception and creating really really melancholy environments
35:50
in which no one would suspect anything at all.
35:54
When people say like this person walks in and lights up a whole
35:57
room, the. Opposition is neutralizes any
36:00
happiness. Officer, you don't understand.
36:04
The party was so boring happened until suddenly somebody was
36:09
murdered. Honestly, it was.
36:10
Still boring at that point. Yeah, nobody knows who I'd stay
36:13
here behind this back. Yeah.
36:15
Let me tell you about a 30 minute story about what
36:17
happened. So I came from my aunts house,
36:20
you know, my aunt is. Kind of.
36:21
I'm getting such energy. Vampire lives.
36:26
So is any of Feldman's like, diabolical nature?
36:30
Is it like, is he intending to be deceptive or is it sort of
36:35
accidental he's finding himself just oops, I manipulated my way
36:39
into having done this? I, I think it's just he's, he's
36:42
very understanding of a competitive world that seems
36:46
unfair. And so he applies that
36:47
unfairness as his like neutral logic meter.
36:50
And so he doesn't think that he's being mean or unkind or
36:53
deceptive. He's like.
36:54
You know, everybody's got to get their dollar, you know, So I
36:57
just, you know, if it's there, I take it he's.
36:58
Rewritten his. Own rules.
37:00
I think I wrote it as chaotic neutral for my selection and any
37:05
feats of note. You know, I get sneak attack,
37:08
which I'm hoping I can be creative about and how to get
37:11
that advantage. And in my subclass I chose
37:13
Thief, so that matched with like the merchant and thief back
37:16
story. Cool.
37:17
I have fast hands, but I think I'm going to work around that
37:19
differently. I'm really not going to get into
37:22
my relationship about my with my boy David until we get at the
37:24
table. It's the special one to me.
37:27
And you know, well, I'll tell you a little bit.
37:30
We, we sold some stuff, you know, and it's really hard to,
37:36
to get into friends with a Co worker.
37:38
You know, when you, when you build those relationships at
37:40
work and then things just don't go your way.
37:42
David's still working for the Fairy Dusters and he hasn't
37:45
really contacted me since, you know, he sent me on my way with
37:49
this sling. Hit me right in the forehead
37:51
too. Not really sure why he had to go
37:54
and do that. Felt really biblical.
37:55
Thankful. Thankfully, he missed the
37:57
eyebrows. Yeah, I honestly think it was
38:02
almost shaved one right off, you know?
38:07
And my magical item that I selected was the the miss Walker
38:14
can't remember it's I think it's miss Walker armor, but it's I
38:17
renamed it the crop duster. This dark leather armor releases
38:22
with whiffs of fog from its seams.
38:24
Well, wearing this armor, you can use the action to cause fog
38:27
cloud, which I was going to re narrate into maybe some bodily
38:31
function. Once this property is used can't
38:33
be used until the next on. So it's 11 big fart a day.
38:37
And in addition, this fog doesn't obscure your vision.
38:39
And while you're an opaque, you can use your movement to
38:42
teleport to an unoccupied space that you see in the fog.
38:45
So I got like, I kind of bop it around teleporting thing.
38:48
Teleporting for you. It's exciting.
38:51
Big guy moving fast in a different way.
38:53
Well, I hope we get to experience your dusted crops.
38:59
Wow. OK.
39:00
Is there anything else you want to share about Feldman?
39:02
You know, just that he's really excited to participate.
39:05
You know, it's been, it's been a while since he had structure.
39:09
Now I've been on the job market for quite a while now and it's a
39:12
hard thing to, you know, to, to put your past behind you.
39:16
And I've reapplied for the fairy dusters for, you know, I think
39:19
2187 Times Now, so. Is that your dream job then,
39:24
Feldman? You know, you, you know, Yeah.
39:27
You know, a busting puffs. Is that busting?
39:30
Puffs. You know.
39:31
I love the cannon that we're creating for this world.
39:33
This is fantastic fairy dusting. I love that.
39:38
You know, fairy houses need a dust and you know, and
39:40
especially in this day and age, you got you got out this this
39:42
climate and you know, people are building bigger and bigger fairy
39:46
houses. You know, the job's a big one.
39:48
Just imagining the most fantastical suburb.
39:51
Fairy houses, the vibes. You can't.
39:55
You can't imagine the time that a bunch of a bunch of orders of
39:58
dust of sneezing and choking and coughing got switched up with
40:01
the order of Pixie dust. Oh boy was my boss mad at me
40:04
then. Yeah, fairy dust and Pixie dust
40:06
is very different now. You know, we don't even mess
40:08
with the Pixie dust. We call them the Hazard Team
40:10
All. Different filter for that.
40:11
You know, it's yeah, you basically have to go in and
40:15
yeah, you have to really burn the whole thing.
40:17
You know, we just, we just honestly, we watch them just
40:19
kind of pour some. What do they call that gasoline?
40:22
And then they just. Whoa, the tough stuff.
40:25
Wow. Well, incredible to meet you,
40:27
Falmin. I cannot wait for this.
40:30
All right, Maya, how you feeling?
40:32
Maya's left the chat and it's me, Elsie Thornhaven.
40:38
Epic Elsie is a known barbarian as we talked about earlier, and
40:45
I chose the farmer fee or farmer background as her parents are
40:50
part of the gardening and landscaping business around
40:53
these parts. We we often work with the fairy
40:55
dusters. Sad before this?
40:58
Don't work out that your characters know each other, can
41:01
we? Possibly be from the village of
41:03
Lot? Sure, Which is canonically is
41:07
where the events of Monkeys Paw took place.
41:11
Because we knew that there was a quarry.
41:12
It just makes sense that like it's a nearby enough.
41:15
Lots and lots in the in, in the land.
41:17
A lot, you know? Yeah.
41:19
So also like we all, we all are happenstance, like we've all
41:21
been given our lot in life. And we like, yeah, we've
41:25
normalized this chaotic world by just creating companies to help
41:30
each. Other we've re established
41:32
corporate yes, of course. Just for a little bit of.
41:35
Balance it makes. Sense because like a fairy house
41:36
city too, like if you have imagined like fairy house
41:39
suburbs, you know it would only take up like an but it'd be a
41:41
massive city for them. Oh.
41:43
My God, the domain is the is the quarry and and Berryhills valley
41:48
dusters and the garden like those are the three powers OK.
41:53
Sorry. Oh, no, you're good.
41:55
So the farmer feat grants the tough feat.
41:58
So I have I'm I'm tougher. My hit point Max increases by
42:03
she's dense. Yeah, she's she's.
42:05
She's little, but she is dense. My hit point maximum increases
42:08
Bailey amount of equal to twice your character level when you
42:12
gain this feet. So beefy.
42:15
I also get some skill proficiencies with my farmers
42:17
background and I chose survival and medicine.
42:19
Not very barbaric, you say I'm. Getting there.
42:23
Cannot wait. Through the farmer feed, I have
42:26
a keen appreciation for nature's bounty alongside a healthy
42:28
respect for nature's wrath. Years tending animals and
42:31
cultivating the earth rewarded me with patience and good
42:33
health, which is great I guess. Whatever if you like.
42:36
Want to be a farmer? I increased my strength score by
42:41
1 and my constitution by once and I'm sitting at a + 3
42:45
constitution. And I like this because I intend
42:48
to be thrown, which gets me to my characteristics or my
42:55
character details. My alignment is chaotic good.
42:58
My faith is in myself. Beautiful.
43:02
In terms of like physical appearance, I'd say that Elsie
43:04
is pale green skin. She's got a red perm, her eyes
43:08
are bluebell, she's 3 feet tall, and she weighs 40 lbs, like a
43:13
large bullet. Imagine just like that coming at
43:18
you. She's 30 years old.
43:19
So for a gnome, they can live up to 350 to almost 500 years.
43:25
Around 40 is when they settle into their adult life.
43:27
So Elsie's parents are really hoping that she can figure it
43:31
out in the next 10 years and settle into the gardening life.
43:34
And Elsie is determined to do anything but.
43:36
So there's that personality traits.
43:39
She just wants to be thrown. She refuses to accept she's not
43:41
meant for fighting. She's very bullheaded, but she's
43:44
also very resourceful. Her ideals, she's here to
43:46
protect the earth. Her only bond is to her dummy,
43:50
her practice dummy that she practices in the in the any of
43:54
her spare time. What?
43:56
Does the practice dummy look like I think?
43:59
It just, it's, I think just like a humanoid, but like big
44:04
because, you know, she's gotta take on something.
44:06
Bigger than her because she is bigger than her.
44:08
So I think it's just a really big humanoid looking like almost
44:11
a scarecrow, but just fat like a fat scarecrow.
44:14
Interesting. That might be funny when me to
44:16
Goliath. Hey, you look like someone I
44:19
know. Yes, yes, My parents wanted me
44:22
to follow in their footsteps. Obviously, they're still hoping
44:24
that she comes around. I have a war pick.
44:27
That or the a glave that I found buried in the garden while we
44:31
were landscaping. And I convinced myself that it
44:34
was my great, great, great, great grandmother's.
44:36
And she left it there for me to find only me so that I can maybe
44:39
defend the innocent living creatures from harm.
44:42
And so I am here to fulfill that destiny.
44:46
My glave is actually made because it was in the ground for
44:49
so long, because my great, great, great, great, great,
44:51
great, great grandmother. I don't know, it's just a long
44:55
time ago. It's made of adamantine, one of
44:58
the hardest substances in existence.
45:00
And then whenever I hit an object, the hit is a crit.
45:04
So, so cool. Very fun.
45:07
Elsie is still in contact with her family.
45:09
Holidays are definitely a little awkward.
45:11
She's very rededicated to her 'cause she's a vegan obviously,
45:15
and she won't stop subtly shaming people.
45:17
About it, What does that sound like?
45:21
What's in that? Turkey.
45:23
In this economy, everything. Is you know.
45:27
That once lived and breathed. Yeah, and it's delicious.
45:31
And now you're eating it for pleasure.
45:32
For pleasure. Or nutrient.
45:34
And didn't live for you to eat. No, no, no, no, no, no.
45:39
Very subtle, yeah. Super subtle.
45:41
Did your, your, your great, great, great, great, great.
45:44
Ellipses. Yeah, ellipses.
45:48
Feldman. Did he?
45:51
Did she happen to know a giant by the name of Christopher
45:55
Clump? I've never actually met my
46:00
great, great, great, great, great, great, great great
46:02
grandmother. I don't think really any of us
46:05
have met. Feel like that would exceed at
46:07
least 500 years. So we say yeah, Yeah.
46:10
I mean, if you're being very literal, yes.
46:12
None of us have really met our ancestor that was asking you.
46:14
Literally like as a gnome, like we live kind of forever so.
46:18
I just feel like. I speak gnomesh.
46:19
You could go ahead and just wow pension.
46:22
'S already. Incredible.
46:24
Incredible. Can't believe I'm here with you
46:26
guys. Are we here for the same reason?
46:28
I'm not quite sure we're. Going to find out.
46:31
This is going to be fat. Wow.
46:33
OK. Is there anything else you?
46:34
Don't figure out the voice, I'm going all over the place.
46:36
You're amazing. I was very excited to for my
46:39
subclass, actually leaning into the nature part of her
46:45
background and she chose Path of the Wild Heart, which basically
46:51
imbues me with the power of nature and lets me cast animal
46:57
speaker or it's called animal Speaker and it lets me cast
47:00
beast sense and speak with animals.
47:02
Cool. Yeah, it's going to be fun to
47:04
play with. I also get Rage of the Wilds and
47:07
whenever I activate my rage I gain a couple of fun little
47:11
aspects that I'm excited to play with so.
47:13
Very. Cool, just a little gal with a
47:15
lot of rage up in there. There's a lot.
47:17
Of rage in here I must protect. The little guys, I love it.
47:23
How was the experience of sort of like expediting your way
47:26
through your the rest of your character builds?
47:29
Honestly, again, I am so painstaking with characters
47:32
normally so, so painful, So, so painful to just like, yeah, this
47:37
is it, This is it. But also such a fun challenge
47:40
because everything I picked feels right, right?
47:42
Like, I don't feel now when we're at this point, I don't
47:45
feel as if I only felt rushed because I was making myself feel
47:50
rushed. Yeah.
47:51
And knowing you don't have. As much time as you normally.
47:53
Do it made me trust my gut rather than agonize over some
47:57
decisions that I typically are just like, well, I guess.
47:59
OK. And now I'm just, yeah, very
48:03
happy to figure out more about Soot Grimlet.
48:08
He's hilarious. He's no David.
48:12
It was super fun. This, these stat arrays, I think
48:14
you made a, did a really good job making them just interesting
48:17
in which way we could take them. And I, yeah, I'm excited to
48:21
place it out. Awesome.
48:23
Very cool. Yeah, I think it was definitely
48:25
right up my alley to rush through this same I.
48:28
Was like, I liked the rush. Yeah, I think it was a lot of
48:32
fun to just kind of, it's hard to get my brain in that state of
48:37
act just typing things out from thought onto there, but having
48:40
the slight structure leading into to just, you know, click
48:42
through these things and then start typing some things that
48:45
might correlate to all these other things.
48:47
That's why I love D&D is that you can kind of bounce off these
48:49
pegs as a marble and find this interesting path down down the
48:53
puzzle game. And I'm, I'm like, I'm so
48:56
excited to find out who, who the fuck my boy David is like.
49:01
He's got a lot of wisdoms. I'll be sharing them throughout
49:03
the experience here. Yeah, this, this guy over here,
49:07
he's seems like he's got a lot of wisdoms in him, which is
49:11
interesting. You seem kind of young for, you
49:13
know, I'm 42. Man, when when you're like just
49:17
figuring out whether or not you should listen to the voice
49:20
inside that's just saying destroy everything and.
49:25
You don't listen to that voice, you know?
49:26
It's just, you know, take that stuff.
49:27
I've got my, I've got my gut and then I've got this ancient dread
49:32
black dragon God that whispers to me about my reconic ancestry
49:37
and how much I have to live up to that.
49:38
And it's, it's honestly it's, it's a little bit stressful.
49:41
And that's fucked up. Yeah.
49:42
You know, most people just kind of look at me blankly and turn
49:46
away and walk away when I say that.
49:48
So that's I actually really appreciate.
49:49
That if my eyes go cross eyed, whatever, I swear I get too
49:52
loud. I thought I thought you were
49:53
about to turn away, but the cross eyed actually gave me the
49:57
hope that you might stay and the fact that you did.
50:00
Excuse me, Excuse me, can you take at least one step to the
50:03
left? The answer?
50:04
Trying to cross the sidewalk. I'm sorry, I'm still figuring
50:06
out my side. Oh, you know, Yeah, please.
50:07
Please, I don't care what you're talking about.
50:09
Scoot, scoot, scoot. I've only been big for this like
50:12
5 years I think I'm still going through puberty.
50:15
Totally not. He's just having and just still
50:17
not used to the new dragonborn body and I'm still getting used
50:22
to the changes. So like I I don't mean to be
50:25
this big, but I I'll stop this way if you don't.
50:28
Thank you. Yes, they're working tirelessly
50:30
and you are in their way. Are my wings in the way?
50:32
Oh God, I can feel them. I'm going to get wings at some
50:35
point and I swear they're just there right now.
50:37
And so I thought they were in your way, but it turns out they
50:41
weren't. You have no wings.
50:43
You have no wings. You'll fly brother, don't worry
50:45
about it. How tall are you?
50:47
Tall enough. Wow, I'm still haven't moved out
50:50
of the way. These ants.
50:51
These ants are like yelling at me from the little path down
50:54
there. Oh.
50:54
My God. Not the ants.
50:57
I feel like I'm really getting to know Elsie Soot and Feldman.
51:00
So now I'm going to ask a few questions, and you'll each have
51:03
a chance to answer either in character or on behalf of your
51:06
character. But this exercise should sort of
51:08
help you, like, really find your feet and begin to feel
51:11
comfortable stepping into your character's shoes.
51:14
Ready. Always.
51:15
Let's do it. So you can answer in any any
51:18
order you choose, but your first question is what is your
51:21
character's claim to fame or what are they most known for in
51:25
their community? Good question.
51:28
Well, I think I already answered that one.
51:29
So I, you know, I can talk more about the fairy dusters if you'd
51:32
like to, but you know, we can also move on to anybody less
51:35
famous than I Feldman, Plum. It's just a celebrity name.
51:41
If I've ever. Heard sorry man, I I, I gotta
51:44
say I haven't heard of you. You've never heard me do the
51:46
dust bus spiel. No.
51:49
Could you actually tell what I'm actually kind of looking for a
51:52
job. I'm actually not quite sure if
51:53
that's for me. Society is.
51:55
I'm still figuring it out. You're in the perfect business,
51:57
brother. You see what I can do for you?
51:59
In the business. Already.
52:00
Yeah, you're talking to me. I am the business.
52:03
Oh, is that easy? Yeah.
52:03
We just need to go door to door. And we set up a brand new fairy
52:06
dusters. We'll call them.
52:08
We'll call them. Sylvan.
52:12
Sylvan sweeping. There we go.
52:14
Sylvan sweeping, yeah. We're gonna go start the Sylvan
52:16
Sweepers and. Oh oh.
52:18
Yeah. No, you just sign right here.
52:20
It's a contract. So am I, I'm.
52:22
Am I dusting with fairy dust? Watch the lights.
52:25
Yeah, we. Just move out of the way.
52:26
So no, now you gotta be really clear about the details, man.
52:29
I'm, I'm, I'm kind of slow. So you gotta, you gotta give it
52:32
to me straight. Am I dusting with fairy dust or
52:35
am I using fairy dust to dust? What we do is we remove the
52:39
fairy dust and then when no one's looking, we steal all the
52:43
shit. Oh.
52:45
I'm really actually super down with that, that actually it's
52:48
not an extra. I thought, I thought this was a
52:50
pyramids, Yeah. No, no, no, no.
52:52
See. Cool, you just knew me.
52:54
OK, Wait, I've never signed my name to commit a crime before.
53:00
It's this is really just for the tax purposes.
53:02
I got audited once by the IRS. What makes sense?
53:05
Well, the fantasy IRS. Was that your claim to faith?
53:09
IRS knocked on your door and you're like.
53:11
I've made it. You know, the infomosure world
53:13
really knows me most the crystal visions always had me playing
53:16
around, you know, like you know, 2:00 AM or you know what,
53:20
whatever you'd you know, you'd like to see at the moon time.
53:22
But you know, you know, I I run, run good with the high crowd a.
53:27
Little bit of smoke and flames comes out of Soot's nostrils as
53:31
he's thoroughly impressed I think.
53:34
Gia Tums. So what was your claim to fame?
53:39
What are you most known for? Oh, I forgot, that's my name.
53:43
Looked at Maya like. Yes, yeah.
53:46
Tell me. I think so.
53:49
It's claim to fame is the fact that he holds a one-of-a-kind
53:55
relic of a type of dragon that doesn't actually visit these
54:00
planes very often. A gem.
54:02
Gem Dragons and metallic Dragons are both like these types of
54:07
Dragons that are a little bit more divine in nature to grace
54:10
these planes. The item I have is made of gem
54:15
dragon. It's like a crystallized.
54:19
It's basically just like a crystal statue of a dragon.
54:22
My claim to fame is that I stole a well known amongst treasure
54:28
hunters treasure from a Dragon's horde.
54:32
Unbeknownst to most people that it was just me running away for
54:35
my life because I thought I was a Cobalt.
54:37
I lived a terrible life as one of the Horde, but I think my
54:41
claim to fame is that I hold one of one of these amazing items.
54:46
I knew you had you pinned as a good type of thief.
54:48
You know, we need more of those in the business.
54:50
I've I'm also because of that known as one of the people that
54:54
can not always get you what you need, but give something to
54:58
somewhere. I'm, I'm a, I'm a pretty good
55:01
middleman, nice in in the industry that I've that I've
55:05
found within my network. Yeah, so who all knows that you
55:08
have this item everyone or. Just any any spellcaster of no
55:12
to any noble noble person. No anyone in the in the general
55:17
would know that. It's like a powerful magic item
55:20
of a type of dragon that is so rare that they don't they
55:24
literally don't exist in in the material plane.
55:27
Awesome, I should also clarify that Velman wants his
55:30
infomercial and door to door life to be his claim to fame.
55:33
But I'm sure it is it is the trouble that he he got in.
55:38
Amazing. I love it.
55:40
What about Elsie? I'd have to go with Elsie's
55:43
claim to fame being her blave from a great, great, great,
55:46
great, great, great great grandmother.
55:50
She's just able, you know, that's it's her calling, it's
55:52
her destiny. And as well as that's more of
55:56
like everybody knows about that claim to fame.
55:59
But then she has a kind of more personal claim to fame and that
56:01
is with her animal handling and like nature proficiencies.
56:05
When her family does landscaping for people and they opt to have
56:10
pesticides, she will then go and kind of Recon and convince the
56:16
the local rabbits, squirrels, rodent types to just go and dig
56:23
holes and just be absolute menaces.
56:26
Wow. Because, you know, we got to
56:28
fight back, fight for the little guy.
56:30
There's no such thing as a pest in this world.
56:32
Doing the real world. That's amazing.
56:35
OK wow, talk about a value system.
56:40
Beautiful. OK, if your characters had walk
56:42
out songs, what would it be? He could make up a song that
56:47
exists just in this world. Or you can use a song that
56:50
everyone knows and loves already.
56:52
Bellman's would be a single, slightly flat note.
56:59
Hitting just. The whole thing.
57:06
Is it ascending? Is it descending?
57:08
What's what's happening? Where is.
57:10
It going? Is it quite?
57:11
Right, I can't stop listening. Did you discover it on like an
57:16
Ed commercial after that aired after your infomercial?
57:19
Yeah, I think it was actually just like a glitch on one of the
57:22
crystal visions or something like that.
57:24
It just started making like the alert tone.
57:26
Yeah, the alert tone. He just stuck with him.
57:29
Amazing. He hums it all the time.
57:30
That's kind of ring to it, yeah. He hums it when he wants to feel
57:33
at peace. For copyright, I'm only gonna do
57:36
Done, Dun Dun Dun and that's all you get.
57:40
You can fill in the rest. You know what?
57:42
That is fitting. Fitting, based on what we've
57:45
already heard of Elsie. I love it.
57:47
Does she dance? Does she acknowledge it or act
57:49
real suave? About it, I think it's very much
57:52
of like a slow strut that ends in Roly Poly.
57:59
Oh yeah. Talking, talking.
58:02
Roll maybe comes out and then starts straddling.
58:04
Yep, Yep, Yep. OK, Beautiful.
58:06
Perfect. I love that.
58:07
And she's singing it in her head.
58:10
There's no music actually playing, got it?
58:11
It's all. The vibes that are oozing out of
58:14
her body. And then when she's done, she
58:15
looks at her. Practice, dummy.
58:16
She's like, was that a good one? Was that a good?
58:18
Should I turn this way next time?
58:19
Yeah. Beautiful.
58:22
What a gal. And Soot.
58:26
I think. My song is the same screen door.
58:33
I think my walk out song would be the part of the Devil Went
58:38
down to Georgia where it breaks into the metal, no?
58:47
Less than 6. Seconds.
58:49
That's something else. But yeah, I think it would be
58:51
just the idea of like wishing for a a different fate.
58:56
OK, cool metal badass. Yeah, awesome.
58:59
Oh, the fiddle part is too. Is good too.
59:01
It'd be a little bit of a little.
59:02
High energy what I know of so far.
59:05
Yeah, cuz he's just walking out slow to this one.
59:06
He's got a vibe though. Cool.
59:08
All right, if your character planned their own birthday
59:11
party, what would it be like? Has really aiming for questions
59:21
that would hit you into their heads.
59:24
I'm proud of this. One you know, I just turned 42
59:27
and congratulations. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
59:30
It's a big. 1. 42 years of film in column right here.
59:33
They're looking at it bald, beautiful and in control over
59:37
here, you know, and for my birthday, my birthday party
59:41
would be start a new company, you know, You know, I think I'd
59:44
get together with my boy David and my new my guy suit.
59:52
Honestly, a day where I didn't explode with magic or otherwise
59:57
need to worry about where money was coming from the next day,
1:00:01
honestly. If I could say I have an OK day
1:00:04
that'd be pretty cool. I mean real high there.
1:00:06
Yeah, that'd be that'd be a pretty nice also if he trails
1:00:11
off as he has to pay attention to the draconic voice in his
1:00:15
mind. If I could not listen to the
1:00:17
draconic voices in my head for a day, that would also be super
1:00:20
sick. Yeah, sometimes you can just
1:00:21
listen to those voices, brother. You know, those are the voices
1:00:23
that make me take shit, you know?
1:00:24
You know you got. To somehow listening to you is
1:00:27
is actually. Giving me a little bit of an.
1:00:28
Immunity to listen to to more constant constant constant
1:00:34
constant words. Yeah, you know, you just
1:00:38
practice these words, you know, Sylvan Sweepers are here at your
1:00:40
Sylvan service. Sweep it clean and keep it clean
1:00:42
with their brand new swapper sweep swept dust sweeper
1:00:44
swerves. I sweep with our sweep needs.
1:00:47
I thought you said that was a front man.
1:00:50
It is a front, but you need a good.
1:00:51
Friend so much. Effort for a front.
1:00:53
You need a good friend. So much.
1:00:55
Effort. You can't have a good back with
1:00:57
a good friend without a good friend.
1:01:01
So you know this. Jesse.
1:01:02
Also, this angry little little fellow over here, you know what
1:01:06
was what? Makes you think I'm angry.
1:01:08
Your demeanor. I'm not angry.
1:01:10
I'm. Not angry.
1:01:12
You're definitely angry. You seem very angry.
1:01:14
Angry, not determined. Would I get I get angry and I
1:01:18
yelled my eyes crossed. Do your eyes crossed?
1:01:20
Would you get angry? No, but no.
1:01:23
But I can't hear every animal, every animal, every animal.
1:01:29
What do they say? So it's got voices in his head
1:01:32
too. So many voices, but they say.
1:01:35
You got this. That's not angry.
1:01:39
Destiny. Oh, the pressure of destiny,
1:01:41
though, I get that. That's no good.
1:01:44
That makes me. That makes me angry too.
1:01:47
That makes me angry too, because like, it's like, who said I I
1:01:51
didn't actually just want to carry gold to the Horde my whole
1:01:55
life? Like who said I had to be here
1:01:56
right now? Well, since I don't know you, I
1:02:00
couldn't really guess and be accurate.
1:02:03
Well, who said you had to be here?
1:02:05
I said well technically this gleave in the ground that was
1:02:08
buried by my great great great great great great great
1:02:12
grandmother told me everything I needed to know.
1:02:16
I get the pressure of ancestors. Are you sure?
1:02:18
That he did. That she didn't know.
1:02:20
Christopher Club. You know, I'm really, really do.
1:02:23
You just seem so familiar. How many crates?
1:02:25
Oh, your legacy. 37. Oh, makes sense.
1:02:29
No, not in this lifetime. Yeah, you know, well, you know,
1:02:33
I just was talking to my friend. Suit, suit, suit, suit, suit,
1:02:36
suit. I mean, honestly, I'm not going
1:02:39
to correct you or go through the effort of correcting you.
1:02:41
So if you want to call me. Trails off Mr. Suit here has
1:02:46
just signed a wonderful contract to, you know, join us in our
1:02:51
Sylvan Sweepers and you would be a perfect fit for our Sylvan
1:02:54
Sweeper I. Don't sweep.
1:02:55
I don't clean. I do neither.
1:02:57
I do fighting. No, we sorry I am here though.
1:03:00
I don't. Sweep, I don't clean.
1:03:02
We don't. Do fighting.
1:03:04
We don't actually, you know, you know, we don't actually sweep is
1:03:08
what we do here is we, we go in, we.
1:03:10
Instead of sweeping and stuff, can you maybe come to my
1:03:13
birthday party? I really need to convince my
1:03:15
family that I have friends and that they they also think that
1:03:17
I'm really good at fighting. Do they need a sweeping?
1:03:20
You know you can sweep if you, if you really hype up the fact
1:03:23
that I'm a really good fighter, I'm really strong.
1:03:26
That's cool that you have parents, one.
1:03:30
Of. Those he's one of.
1:03:34
Those there's the only energy vampire in the world.
1:03:37
One one time I had AI had a dragon queen that was keeping me
1:03:41
basically in prison. Her name was Elliot.
1:03:43
This guy's a fucking downer dude.
1:03:44
Yeah, you know well. Andrew Connick, it sounds way
1:03:47
tougher. Talking about you.
1:03:49
Were we talking about your your great grandmother?
1:03:51
I'm telling you. I mean, she's not really my
1:03:53
great grandmother, but now that you mention it, great.
1:03:56
How many grades? Well, she's just she's a dragon
1:03:59
that slipped for 1200 years so. I had enough grades, we can be
1:04:03
friends. Yeah, it's a bit.
1:04:06
It's like the same thing. I think the math works out.
1:04:08
All right, we. Can't decide which birthday
1:04:09
party I'd rather go to 50. Percent of this OK.
1:04:13
Day right now, so it's basically my birthday.
1:04:15
Happy fucking birthday. 50% of this job really is just talking
1:04:19
exactly the way you're talking if you can.
1:04:21
Distract people the way that. You distract people, you know I.
1:04:23
Think I applied for a job am I? I I've answered some interview
1:04:28
like questions today. So how many jobs am I applying
1:04:31
for today? Wow, I.
1:04:32
Already got one, let's see if I get the other.
1:04:35
This is incredible. If you if you convince my
1:04:37
parents, I'm a good fighter. I was about to ask if these
1:04:41
characters are starting to feel real to y'all yet.
1:04:44
I wouldn't say so. I think it's still.
1:04:46
Really just to meet people like probably like.
1:04:48
A few minutes away, just. Really stunted.
1:04:51
Fucking this. Is amazing.
1:04:53
OK. Do we have any guesses as to
1:04:56
what's coming next? A good fucking time.
1:04:59
Good time, right? We already established we're
1:05:02
doing Sylvan sweeping and then we can be with fairy dusters.
1:05:06
Clean and holding off on like setting the scene at all but I
1:05:11
feel like just because of the city.
1:05:12
And the ants are still waiting. I feel like we're all like in
1:05:15
like a little interview, like a group interview process, just
1:05:18
saying the most. Are we still?
1:05:20
Applying the same job. Oh my God.
1:05:22
Well. It's a big me on sign, big me on
1:05:25
sign, above said still being sweeping interview.
1:05:27
I'm apologizing ahead of time for my voice.
1:05:28
I feel like I'm switching between like several things I've
1:05:32
been. Igor 30 seconds at a time.
1:05:34
Really small and trying to sound really big and.
1:05:37
It's I. Think we're all distinct?
1:05:39
It sounds good. You stay small.
1:05:41
I'll just stay. I'll say hi.
1:05:45
You say small, I'll stay stoned, I'll stay sweeping.
1:05:47
I'll really just stay right in the middle.
1:05:49
There small stone sweeping, we figured out our promise prayer
1:05:52
potential of this of these characters.
1:05:55
No, walked right into it. I love it.
1:05:58
All right, shit's about to get real.
1:05:59
It is time officially to release these characters into the wild
1:06:03
for the very first time and see what sort of chaos occurs.
1:06:07
What sort of more chaos occurs? I have 3 experiences planned for
1:06:12
this soon to be formed party and I couldn't even begin to fathom
1:06:16
where we'll end up. But that is where we'll leave it
1:06:22
for today. Our heroes have been created and
1:06:24
the chaotic happenstance of their journey is about to begin.
1:06:27
If you want to hear what happens next, you can join us on the
1:06:29
Patreon for Part 2 of Happenstance Heroes.
1:06:31
And trust me when I say that the real hilarity is only just
1:06:34
getting started. When you join, you'll also
1:06:37
unlock our full library of Patreon exclusives, including
1:06:40
our After Shows, bonus episodes, access to our custom score
1:06:43
tracks, and more. And because we want you along
1:06:46
for the ride, we're giving you one full month of premium access
1:06:49
for free as a thank you for being a listener.
1:06:52
Just find us on Instagram, username die sized, and send us
1:06:55
Adm with the word Hero. That's HERO.
1:06:58
From there, we'll send you a direct link to unlock a month of
1:07:01
free premium membership via Patreon.
1:07:03
So go ahead, come roll with us, laugh with us, and see just how
1:07:06
far a little happenstance can take a hero.