Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / I Hate Loud with Sam Morril

Transcript

I Hate Loud with Sam Morril · Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, Chelsea, Hi, what is this Will Smith's story that
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: everyone was talking about.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: He did a bunch of shows and there was legitimately
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: a big crowd there, but for.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Some reason, his team like put a bunch.
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: Of ai extra faces to make the crowd like look
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: even bigger. And everyone's like call it, like, why would
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: you do that?
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: This is a Donald Trump move. It's so stupid and
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: also it's so badly done. Like have you seen the pictures? Yes,
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: my friends send it to me.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: I said, from West Philly to West Swizzy, we love you, Willie.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: The thing is, why would they do that? Because the
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: crowd sizes are big. It's just like when you see
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: the real photos. There's obviously isles where people can get
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: like people know isles exist where there's no people.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: So he's on Will Smith, I.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Guess so I blame this on scientology. I blame everything
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: that's going wrong on scientology.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: I agree with you.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Either that or the Trumps, one of them I'm blame.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: So choose your poisons, you know what.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: I think that must be? Why why Burning Man blew away?
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: Because like Ivanka Trump was there, Yeah, oh.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: My friend, we were all going to my friend's house
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: in the Hamptons last weekend when I was doing shows
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: there and she was going to Burning Man, and so
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: I saw one of those videos on Instagram and forwards,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I'm like, is this you? I had seldom heard back
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: from her. I don't even know if she's a lie.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: What happened to Burning Man?
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: I think they just had like this huge I know
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: there was a dust storm there.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: There's like a big windstorm. There was a dust storm
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: in Arizona and Phoenix. Did you see this? I end
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: of God, I see that. I did see that, very ominous.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: But the Burning Man was like, so Berniinge Man just
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: got fucking I think it got real.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: I know the orgy tent that they had spent a
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: week setting up, that's been there for twenty years?
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: Is that?
• 1:42
  Speaker 5: Is that right?
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: They have an orgy tent or any other thing I'd
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: find disgusting orgy the same orgy tent for twenty years.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: I remember watching a porn when I was a little
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: girl and there was a big orgy and I was like, oh,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: I was like, do people really do this?
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: And the answer is.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: No, they don't only have burning only in very specific circles.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Do you have friends that do burning I do have,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: like I think I have like one or two people.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: I once went on a date with a guy in
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: New York. My friend Sophie set me up with this guy,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: and the minute we sat down, he started going on
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: about Burning Man and I said, listen. The second time
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: he said it, I go listen. I'm not a Burning
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Man person. I don't find that interesting at all. I
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: think it's a bunch of rich people trying to share
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: for the very first time. And I don't want to
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: do LSD on I don't want to do LSD and
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: get sand blasted like that is not my idea of
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: a good time. And then he kept going on and
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: on about it, and then I did get it.
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: Woe up.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: We were having dinner in the hotel restaurant of the
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: hotel I was in. My friend showed up, and when
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: she got there, I go, he's your problem now, And
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I went upstairs to my room and I took a xanax.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Excellent.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: See that's the place to be doing drugs, not in
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: the desert.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah exactly, Well, yeah, Xanax's.
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: That's what they say. How do you know someone's been
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: to Burning Man? They won't shut up about it.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really annoying when people it's like pickleball. That's
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: the thing that people are like obsessed with, trying to
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: convert you into pickleball, to be an obsessed about pickleball.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: And burning man.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I put up new Vegas dates by the
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: way for next year. This year, I will be there
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: November first and November twenty ninth. Those are my last
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: two dates this year. Then I start up again January
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: thirty first, March seventh, April eighteenth, and May thirtieth, and
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: tickets are now on sale for all of those dates.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: Our guest today will be at the Chicago Theater and
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: all across Europe in October, as well as playing Carnegie
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: Hall in December on the Errors Tour.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: Please welcome Sam Moral.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Welcome Sam Morrell. I'm saying it doesn't matter.
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: Oh no, it does matter, but I feel I don't like.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Correct So for morell, where are you getting the E from?
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: My dad said, and I just rolled with it.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: I don't know he's wrong. Listen, you have a lot
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: of introductions here.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: I was reading your shit last night and you're okay,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: there's a lot going on with you. First of all,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: you just came out with your six stand up special
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: since twenty twenty.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: How is that possible?
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: No, No, not that many.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: But you have six though, right, I think so?
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: And in what frame of time?
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: There was a period where I was doing way too
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: many because I was just like I had no life.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: So because of COVID.
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: COVID, I did a rooftop one because I was losing
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: my mind here and I just started going to people's
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: roofs and doing stand up and that turned into a special.
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: But uh, that wasn't like my best stuff. I wasn't
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: like honing that in clubs and stuff that I have,
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: Like you know, I did one Amazon, the one Netflix.
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: I did a Comedy Central hour, I did a YouTube hour,
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: I did the roof thing, and I did like a
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: half hour, so five and a half.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, Well that sounds more reasonable when you say it
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: like that. The way it's presented, it's like you're about
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: to win an Academy Award first stand up comedy, which
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: I think is pretty impossible.
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: Oh no, we're not respected.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: No, comedians are not respected.
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: That's good. If we were respected, we'd be boring.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Well, the reason we're funny is because we're not respected. Exactly,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: and there's no way to gain respect as a comedian really.
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: There's comedians that are well respected, but only in circles
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: outside of comedy, right, Like within comedy, you don't really
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: nobody really.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: Respects each other.
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: It's true, yeah, because we see through it. It's a ruse.
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: But then you see like a singer, you're like, holy shit,
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: that's incredible. Yeah, and then they probably looked that way
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: at us, like even popping like a musician open mic
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: when you start and like this guy's awesome, but then
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: take the same jokes to a comic open mic and
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: like you fucking you suck.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Or I'll go see someone who's like a musician perform
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: and be fucking blown away, and they'll perform at the
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: Greek or something, and then they'll come see me performing,
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: like I can't believe you can do that.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what are you talking about?
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: I can't believe you can go on drunk? What are
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: you talking about? Yeah?
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: I know, I know. Well musicians can too, that's their thing.
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: They can. Yeah, I guess they can do like Heroin too.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: I mean they I mean I saw they'd.
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: Do it was way more impressive.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Well, and it's also more exhausting because they're up there
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: for like two and a half three hours.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Like I was at Glastonbury recently and we saw.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Lanas Marsett and she drank She went through like these
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: jugs of like I guess it was like green tea
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: or something. She she went through like six or seven
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: of them, and it was less than an hour set.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: I've never seen any guy drink any beverages on stage
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: other than red wine or alcohol like a musician. Wise, Like,
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: I couldn't believe how well she was hydrating. I was like, Wow,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: you must be into crystals and stuff if you're hydrating this.
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: Green tea is like, that's weird.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: Well, she's kind of on it.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: She's ethereal, she's on another you know, she's like on
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: another frequency.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: She's one of those people. She probably meditates a lot.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: She's vibrating at a higher level than regular people, certainly
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: higher than comedians.
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: Definitely. Yeah.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you do drugs and drink?
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: I drink.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: You don't do drugs.
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: I'm scared of drugs. I don't like not knowing what's
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: in my blood stream.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: Or what's in your future.
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, I can maintain a level of control. I
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: like drugs that push your feelings down away.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're a man, So is it hard for you
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: to be a stand up comic surrounded by so many
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: female comedians?
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: No, I love female comedians.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: That was a joke.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: I just always wanted to ask a man and what
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: it feels like to be surrounded by women, since that's
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: the only question we ever get to, that only question
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: that ask you. Guys ask us all the time what's
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: it like to be in an industry that's so male dominated?
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, can you fucking think of a more
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: interesting question. I've been doing this for like twenty five years. Well,
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: the other, more more boring question is when you're promoting
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: a tour or you're promoting a special and people ask
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: you what can we expect? I fucking hate that question.
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: It's hard to describe your own act.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Well, also without doing bits, like I don't want to
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: be on the phone doing bits.
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: If I'm talking to a reporter or a journalist, I mean,
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: a journalist is.
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: A you know, you're getting better interviews than me. I
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: think I'm talking to a journalist.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: I'm talking to some guy from like, like, what do
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: you fucking you could expect to laugh and you could
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: expect comedy.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't. What can you expect? I mean, you know,
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: I come out in the third act. I don't know nothing, nothing,
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: yeah jokes.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: So we were just talking because you've dated, You've dated
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: a lot of female comedians, only two Yeah, Megan Gaily, Right,
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: you did it?
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: You just had sex with her?
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: Sure?
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, Well I feel I feel like you dated her.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: I don't know why. Who.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, you dated Taylor Tomlinson for a few years, because
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: I know that because when I had her on my podcast,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: she was quarantining with you. Yeah, and you guys were
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: together for a few years, right.
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: Probably two years. It's hard to measure because of what
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: we broke up so many times?
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: Really, yeah, what was the problem?
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: Probably both of us? I don't know.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: It must be hard to date a comic. I don't
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: think I've ever dated. Oh yeah, what am I talking about?
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah? No, I'm aware of that. I just forgot.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: I forgot.
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I think the problem is it's funny when people
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: were like, what went wrong?
• 8:19
  Speaker 5: Is?
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: I don't know us together? That's it. I don't know.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Do you attribute part of the relationship working out for
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: a duration of time because you were it was during
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: COVID and.
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: You are two weeks were great. But no, no, it
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: was like a sleepover that just went on too.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Lot on and went on and went on.
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: But we know, we had great times. I think, you know,
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: I look back at some of them and I was like, man,
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: we're like watching movies and we started a movie podcast.
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: It was fun as hell.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: We were just that's right.
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was great. We had a good time.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: That's cute.
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's fun and fun to you know, you share
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: a movie and then you talk about it.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to think if I dated any other comics.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: It's just such a weird thing because I find it
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: like actors and actresses, I find it.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Normal for them to date. Are you drinking Ginger ale?
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: It's so Celtic.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: I fucking loved Canada Dry ginger. Oh my god, I know,
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I know. I once called Canada Dry. I'm like, I
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: want to do a commercial for you guys. I'm so
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: obsessed with Yeah. But then they were like, can you
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: do one for Sprite because they're all owned by the
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: same person, and they were like, Canada or nobody drinks that.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: I'm like, they're like alonly people who drink that are
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: from New Jersey or New York. It's a very East
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: coast thing. Canada tried, like they don't sell it on
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: the West Coast as it's not as available.
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: I love it.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: I know me too.
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: It's like when you land in Detroit and you're like,
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: I need I need some Werners. So you you only
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: dated one comic. It's weird to me because it's you know,
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: you're an attractive lady. You're you're a funny lady. I'm
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: sure dudes were hitting on you quite a bit.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: No, men are scared of me. I can see that
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: men are not interested in trying to get like shot
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: down by me. I mean even Joe Coy when we dated,
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: it wasn't even like I had to decide that I
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: was going to date him.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: He would never ever have made it.
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: You made the move.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: I think so because we were friends for so many years,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: and then when we got back to like we were
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: hanging out as friends and he just kept coming around
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: and coming around, and eventually I just capitulated and.
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: I was like, drinking, did that give you the Yeah?
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I'm always a little drunk, you know.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: I love drinking so.
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: Like, but I mean I was, I have my own
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: whiskey and was brought you a botty. I remember, I've
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: read one of your book and you're a voga person,
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: so they had to know. Some people were like, I
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: don't fucking drink whiskey, you know.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: I like whisky.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Whiskeys dice and warm, especially in the winter time. And
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: when I'm in like, I go, it's a whistler or
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Canada for winter, and in the winter I'll drink whiskey.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, it warms your bones.
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: I love it.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: What's your whiskey called.
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: It's called Bodega cat oh o cute. Cool. So you
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: grew up in New York in the city.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, here in the city, so you've never stray too far.
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: No, I'm useless. Really, I'm fucking.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Useless, like an Astrolanta motorcycle.
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm terrible.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: Like, what do you think your best qualities are? If
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: you had you have to pick three?
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: This is like describing your tour shit, Uh my best qualities?
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Like come on, you have to think of three good
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: things that make you valuable to to the human species.
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: Damn. And if you can't think of I think I'm
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: pretty loyal.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's great, that's a good one.
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: I can't say, you know, I'm going to say, I'll
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: suck your coy.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: Okay, great, that's what somebody's got to do that, because
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: I'm not doing that either.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you.
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: That's why I was intimidated by us your cock. Thank
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: you loyal. I was going to say, good listener, but
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: I'm not. I'm on a bunch of Redlin right now.
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: To make sure I'm connected with you right now.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: I would say, though, in order to be a comedian,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: and you have to be a good listener, because you can't.
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: I'm observant, but I'm not a great listener. I'm to
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: a point, but then something pops into my head and
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: I start following that you do that, it's.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Add add yeah, absolutely, but we all have that. Oh my,
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: I'm so as long as you stay medicated. I don't
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: take medication for it, but I've just learned how to.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: When I used to post talk shows, I would literally
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: be thinking about what the fuck I was going to eat.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: If I was talking to somebody who didn't hold my interest,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, what am I going to have when
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: I go upstairs? Are there any gummy bears. I'm like,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: are there any red ones left? Or did everyone do
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: it like that was?
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: You know? But I never I don't take any medication
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: for it.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: I just eventually just started going, Okay, you have to
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: fucking focus on what you're doing. Like, I want to
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: be able to read a book. I want to be
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: able to tune out my phone. I want to be
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: able to put a phone like on another side of
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: the room and not walk over to it every fifteen seconds.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: So it's kind of like training yourself like a fucking dog,
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And it's a book that interests me, I can't
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: put it down. But if it's something that I have
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: to like work at, I'm just like, fuck, I guess
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: I got to pick this up.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: Again, right right? So what's your family situation in New York?
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: How did you grow up?
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: First couple of years just me and my mom, And
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: then she married a guy who became my stepdad, who
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: I love. He's a great dad. And then I got
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: a stepbrother and stepsister from his side, And that's my
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: family situation. They have kids. Now I don't have kids.
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, is that something that you want to have?
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I think I would like one. I
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: think one is a good number when I get a pet.
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: Though I was going to say it pet's hard to
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: take care of. I was thinking that a kid is
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: probably also hard. I don't know. I think I need
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: a little time still to figure it out. How old
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: are you thirty eight?
• 13:00
  Speaker 6: Oh?
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, so you're not even forty years old yet.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: So you haven't even like hit your little crisis zone.
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's coming.
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: Especially as a male comedian, I'm always in chrisis. Yeah.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of men are like in
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: longstanding male crises, comedians especially, I think women.
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: I mean, you guys have a biological clock. But all
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: we have is if if we don't have kids at
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: a certain age, is like, what the fuck's wrong with
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: that guy? Right? That's all we get. It's not that bad.
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: But like you, I mean, you get judged for that
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: shit all the time. And I kind of liked you
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: just like I don't give a shit.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I don't want a baby, like that's a
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: fucking pain in the apt. You have a pet, yeah,
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: and he lives. He's in LA right now, you know
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: what I mean.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: I see him when I see him, and he says
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: and take it personally, and if he did, I can't
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't know about it because he can't fucking talk anyway.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: That's why pets are amazing. Yeah, they work for you
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: in every situation. I sent him to Canada. I did
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: a euro tour. You're going on your European tour.
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: Show, right, I am. I love I love going.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: To Europe and you're playing. I love performing in Europe.
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: I just get your favorite what's your favorite party?
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: Oh? God, Paris was amazing. Berlin is awesome.
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: I've never been to Berlin.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: Are you doing that whole that whole run? Yeah, you're
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: going to Copenhagen, Amsterdam.
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: I've been. I've done Copenhagen. I'm not going this time,
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: but I'm doing Amsterdam again. I love.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: So good.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: It's beautiful there, I mean, and it's really nice to
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: be out of this fucking country.
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: It is good to get a little reset.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Well, when I was there, I was going on stage.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: It was right not right after the election, but like
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: a couple of months after the election. So I just
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: got on stage and just started apologizing on behalf of
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: our country, you know. And they were there for it.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: They were happy to hear that. I'm like, listen, we're
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: not all like this. I'm really sorry about our country.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know where you stand politically. I'm assuming you're
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: not a bro.
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: I didn't. I didn't vote for Donald Trump, if.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: That's right, Okay, right right? I mean, I'm sure you're
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: not a Trump. I can tell whether you're outfit that
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: you're not a Trump supporter.
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: I had a lot of Quartervroy jacket Trump he's out there. No,
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: I don't think so.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: So you're going you're doing your and then you're doing
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Carnegie Hall too, right?
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: I am? Yeah?
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: What's the date on.
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: That December fourth?
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: Okay? And are you going to Europe after that or before?
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: I'm going to Europe in October?
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: Fun should be good.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah? And so are you going to go to like Rekuvic?
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: Are you going to Sweden?
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: I'm not going to rec of it, unfortunately, I've done
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: Sweden before. I love Stockholm. That was awesome, but I
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: just couldn't fit everything, and I never I've never been
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: to Germany. So I want to go to Germany and
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: just someplace that hadn't been so.
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: Right, you're not Jewish?
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: I am Jewish?
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Oh you are? Well, you better go to Germany while you.
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: Can, because they don't like us.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: I know, no, no, no, My friends just went to Frankfurt.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: They had to layover and Frankfurt got stuck there and
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: her son had like a high necklace on and she's like.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: The cab driver said, no, we're not taking you. We
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: don't drive nice.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: That was recently, so yeah, you might want to get
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: over to Germany quickly and.
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: That bounce get in the cab, like, don't rub it in, dude,
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: just fucking you know, I get it.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: So you're like, so if you're this prolific with your
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: stand up, you're performing all the time, all week long,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: how many and as in New Yorker are because I
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: know you New York comics like to get up like
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: sometimes three or four times tonight.
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I've doubted back a little just for you know,
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: there was a point where I had some older comics
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: I respect be like, dude, you have to have a
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: life to write about exactly. You can't just like you know,
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: your audience is living. You have to live, so you know,
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: at a certain point, all your jokes are. This guy
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: came up to me after my set and he said this,
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: and you're like, that's not a fucking that's not comedy,
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: that's not life, right, So yeah, I try to. I
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: try to follow like an adventure every once in a while,
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: Like I'll just get fucking drunk some nights and be like,
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: let's see where this takes me. Back in the day,
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: I'd be doing like four sets tonight. I'm just gonna
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: like scour the village and try to have an adventure
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: or something with a friend of mine or something.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and also go on vacations.
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: I'm so bad on vacation. I get really bored.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: Really.
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: I'm doing some you know days off on this euro
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: tour so I can just chill, but I get really bored.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Do you know how to swim?
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well you should take some swimming classes, swimming class
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: so that you can have so you can improve on
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: your swimming skills and have a great.
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: I'm a good enough swimmer, do you think so?
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: But that doesn't sound convinced.
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: How good a swimmer.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: That's part of what vacation is for me is swimming
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: like I want to be.
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: So that's how I would like sweat out booze on
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: the road. I would go to like a rec center
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: or something and just.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: Swim laught and then sweat in the pool.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't really think it's sweating from swimming, but yeah,
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: like vacation vibes, so you sweat and then it just
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: goes right back into the.
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: Water and the chlorine water. I think, really, is that
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: not right? You guys? What do you guys do over here?
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: Do they not fact check or.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Something while you're swimming when you're in the water. But
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: this is a very interesting conversation.
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: Maybe I'm dumb. I don't know.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: I think maybe you are, because can you think about it.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: You're in the water and then you're sweating. I understand
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: it's a workout. Yeah, but when you come out of
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: the water from swimming so hard, are you sweating?
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: No?
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: But you feel better. She must be losing some of that,
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: all right, So maybe sweating was the wrong word. But
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: it's it's healthy to swim.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Well, it's healthy to go on vacation and swim, is
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: what my point is. I love vacations. I'm all about working.
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: So much for the rec center on the road I
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: painted for you, it wasn't like a tropical paradise, so
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: I never.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: Saw the inside of any rec center I love.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: I'm not that kind of jew I'm like that, I'm
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: a total like a ymca is what you're giving.
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's how I do the road. We go
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: to the Yeah, we did a tour bus and we
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: do the rec center every day.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: Jokoy had a tour bus and it smelled like balls.
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: Did you guys do that together on the bus?
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: I went on the bus like twice and that was tough.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: I mean, we may or may not have had sex
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: on the bus. I don't really remember, but I was
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: disgusted by every part about it.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: There were so many men.
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: It's not for women.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: It's not for women.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: It should actually just say these are not available for
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: women in a non discriminatory way.
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Nikki Glazier called me up and she's like, do
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: you like the tour bus. I was like, yeah, I do,
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: but you're not going to.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: Nikki doesn't take a bus, does she.
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah. But I got a lot of people hit me
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: up like do you like that? And I'm just like, yeah,
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: but that doesn't. It's weird when people ask you if
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: you like something. Yeah, of course that does like it.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's kind of like what can we expect from
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: your show? Yeah, so that's what you do on the road.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: You go on the road, you go to a rec
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: center and you bring your crewer my crew.
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: We play some basketball or a swim.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: That sounds reasonable. Basketball in the center. I don't have
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: a problem with.
• 18:54
  Speaker 6: That of that.
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: And then we these new ymcs are all nice. You
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: go to the midwest of the South, they have like
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: saunas and stuff in there. Usually there's not a weird
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: dude in there. Sometimes there is masturbating. Oh yeah, yeah,
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: that's that's low fucking end. Well it's not like an
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: Equinox dude, jack and off. At least you're like, all right,
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: that's I'm not gay, but at least he looks good. Yeah.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: But most of these gyms in New York, like men
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: know which ones are the gay gyms and which one
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: are the straight gyms, So that if you walk into
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: a sauna and there's three guys jerking off, that's because
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: that's what's supposed to happen.
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: I'm like Jack Reacher, I'm just passing through these ymca
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: So I don't know what you're right.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm glad though that you're keeping it like you
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: have a lifestyle on the road. That's nice, got it,
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: because otherwise you're going to go fucking crazy totally. Yeah,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: flying in and out of cities like I like to
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: fly in and out because and I also don't like
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: to stay in cities where.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: They don't have a nice hotel.
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I see that.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: I've already done that a million times. I'm over it.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: I totally want any discomfort in my life.
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: I think. I think being a young female comic doing
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: the road like that is like, that's tough.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: I used to do the San Francisco punchline all the
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: time and once the first time. Yeah, great club right now,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: it's kind of Cobbs is another big club there too,
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: but that was always there. But the first time I
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: ever did the road I did, I opened for it
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: was David tel was headlining.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: Zach of course, the best Zach. I haven't seen him
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: in yours.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: Zach Elfanakis was middling and it was me and I
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: had to sleep with Zach Alifanakis in his hotel room
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: at the Commodore Hotel.
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: Because I going to say, just to get the gig.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: Because well, I mean no, Zach would never do something
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: like that. He's the only male comic that would never
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: do something like that, but he did. Every night we
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: went to sleep and he would whisper in my ear,
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: I will never rape you.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and that was sweet. It was romantic a
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: little bit.
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you do always playing the piano.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: No, no, he didn't have the piano in the room, damn.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: But that was my first week on the road and
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: I just realized, oh, you it costs more to even
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: get there than you're going to make it.
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: When we start selling merch when you're a young comic.
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: But as an opener, oh yeah, you got it. But
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: I remember doing gigs with David tel and he was
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: the most fun ever. I mean, we were driving back
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: from a gig at Terrytown Music Hall once and he
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: does that thing he'll bring you on stage and you're like, dude,
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: you're the quickest guy in the world. I'm not going
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: to keep up with you. But he's you know, he's
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: super supportive. Then of course he murders. We're in the
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: car ride back. The whole ride he's like, I'm a
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: fucking hack. I fucking suck and we're like, dude, you're
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: all of our favorite comics and he's like, well, I'm
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: better than you, guys.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: That's funny.
• 21:17
  Speaker 5: I know.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: He kind of does self hate.
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: Oh my god. Yeah, but it's kind of refreshing. So
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: many people love themselves. I mean, I don't think he
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: should hate himself, but like, you know, just to hint
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: of self loathing is kind of good, I think for
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: a little bit.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: But not don't get carried away with that because then
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: you're like Sveth spending all day talking about what a
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: fucking loser you are. That's not good either. I mean
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: that's not good, especially.
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: You seem like you have a good drinker's energy, because
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: I think the hangover is good for me because I
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: wake up with like a little bit like you piece
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: of shit. I need like a little bit of like
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: you're a piece of shit.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Well, I always have my best shows or like when
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: I was like did you doing my talk shows? I
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: always had my best shows when I had a little
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: alcohol in me from the night before, because it's just
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: takes like then you don't give a shit, you know,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: you're just kind of like Lucy Goosey.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: I don't like to be tightly wound.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: I don't really get like that anymore because now I've
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: been doing this for so many years. But I don't like,
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: I don't like nerves before I go out on stage.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: I understand that they're good for their purposeful you know,
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: it means you give a shit. But I don't like
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: to be nervous. So luckily with enough time under my belt.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: And I'm sure you probably feel this way too, after
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: however many years you've been doing stand up, which is
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: what twenty years about. Yeah, twenty years you? I mean
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: you don't get nervous, right, No.
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: Not really, I mean I get like bored, that's what
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: that's where the alcohol comes in. I get. I'll get
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: like disconnected, you know, especially when I do that many
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: shows in a row. I'm just like a r I
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: need a drink to to spice things up, to spice
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: things up. Maybe I'll go down a different road with
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: this bit tonight or something or Yeah. I just like
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: first few days, I don't really need a drink, and
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: then like by day four, I'm like I need like
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: them in head and I need like a cocktail. I
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: need like a proper cocktail. I need to get a
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: little buzz.
• 22:49
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: Well, that seems like you have a healthy relationship with alcohol.
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think so. I respect it. I know that,
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: like I don't want to ever have to quit. Yeah, yeah,
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: that was good. You said that before Bush.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: Obviously, I had a boyfriend once who told me, He's like,
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: I don't ever want to abuse alcohol because I don't
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: ever want to have to give it give it up.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: And I was like, let me write that fucking down,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: because I'm with you. I sometimes go overboard with drugs
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: and alcohol, but I always reul myself back in because
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: I know I can't. I can't act like that, you
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. I'm like smarter than my body.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna end up in a rehab knock on
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: wood or somebody knock on something.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: I like what you do with morning news shows. How
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: should should I say that?
• 23:28
  Speaker 6: What's that morning news shows that awesome?
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: What are they called morning.
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: A morning shows?
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Like local news shows? Local news shows.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: I like that you call them up and fuck with
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: these people because these are the people who aren't wearing
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: pants underneath a desk, Like when you're in a local
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: when you're in like let's say Akron, Ohio, okay, and
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: you go on a local news show and you're promoting
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: your show and these people are basically you could say
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: my penis is out and they would be like, what
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: can we expect from your show tonight?
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: There is no change, of course.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: And Sam does this really funny thing where he brings
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: up really uncomfortable topics Catherine while he's being interviewed in
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: the morning, and he'll be like, oh, what was one
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: of the ones that you did?
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: You?
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: I liked the human trafficking, right, trafficking?
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's funny, that's so funny. Where are you talking
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: about that guy? That guy? I broke him, I think,
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: but the woman kind of got it.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: But don't you think those people are slightly broken anyway?
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I mean no offense to any newscasters who were watching,
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: but seriously, you guys need to take a look at
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: yourselves in the mirror.
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I think they're just so scared. I think they're
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: just living and they have to walk such a tightrope.
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: And we just that started because I was forced to
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: do that at like improvs and stuff like you have
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: to you don't. If you miss that, you can't do
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: the weekend. So I'd be like, all right, so I'd go,
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: but I'd be in like two hours sleep, hungover and
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: in a bad mood. And it started. The one that
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: started it was in Pittsburgh where someone was like, so
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: have you always been funny? And you're just sitting there
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: like and I said no. But when I was young,
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: my uncle he was funny and he molested me and
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: I got his powers like a spider man, and they
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: were just like okay, and I just and I just
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: kind of turned to the camera and smiled, and I
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: remember leaving like can I get that footage? It's like
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: a funny clip. And they were like, get out. So
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: it turned into like a turned into like a heist.
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: It turned into like a thing where I'm like, oh,
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: get I called the uber before I go on because
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: I know they're gonna be fucking pissed, and I just
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: run out and jump in. So that one people thought
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: it was funny. So it was like, oh I can
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: take something I hate it and make it fun. So yeah,
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: the Columbus one people liked. I don't know, you just
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: you just go in. You're like, is there something in
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: the news I can fuck with? I don't know.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: It's just nice to fuck with people who are so
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: serious about nonsense, you know what I mean. We're talking
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: about the weather, like unless there's a fucking hurricane coming,
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: it's not that serious. And we're talking about morning news,
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: which is pretty banal. Yeah, there's nothing really happening there
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: either scripted.
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: So when you go on there and you just make
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: it a mess, it's kind of it's fine.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I appreciate that.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: So, after everything we're speaking about, you like being on
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: the road, would you say that you prefer that over
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: being at home?
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: I mean, I like both. I romanticize the road though,
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: I love it. I love that.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: How do you romanticize the road?
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: Like, holy shit, this is cool. I'm like, and you know,
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: it makes me have a deeper appreciation for America. Like
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: you go to these random cities and you're like, this
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: is great.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: You know, what are some of your favorite cities that
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: you really like? Because I are some of the ones
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: that you really will never go back to.
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: Well, people know, I hate Naples, Florida. I fucking hate
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: that all together. There's parts of Florida I love, but
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: but overall, like, yeah, Naples was like that one took
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: that that one I took a beating there. They hated
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: me really Yeah, that one sucked.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: What was so bad about it?
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: I don't know, I just couldn't connect. I also this
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: opener who was high energy and hilarious and like he
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: since passed away. This guy, Carl Michael.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: How did he pass away?
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: I think he I think it was my guess would
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: be drugs.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, so you don't know, I don't.
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: We weren't super close. He just happened to be open
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: for me that week. But I thought he was funny.
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: I thought he was really good and he was a
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: lot of good.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: That does now that he's dead, I mean, you should
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: have told him then.
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: I did tell him that, Oh great. I wasn't resentful
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: that he was burying me. I was fine with that he.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: Did better than you.
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: Oh totally.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Oh that's funny.
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: I was cool.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: I always feel the same way too.
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: I have many open for me a lot, and she's
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: fucking hilarious and sometimes I'm like half the time people
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: are like, who's your opener? I'm like, I have no
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: problem with an opener being funnier than me, no whatsoever.
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I know he was super high energy and I
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: talk like this on stage, so I think these old
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: people are looking at me like he's not even trying,
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: but I'm like, no, this is how I perform, you know.
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: So yeah, I just bombed every show. They hated me,
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: and I was like, oh, I'm never fucking coming back
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: and that became like a big part of my act
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: is how much I hate in Naples.
• 27:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: And then but then cities I like, I think, you know,
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: Chicago's amazing. I love SF. I love San Diego is
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: really cool. Seattle.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: There's always sleeper cities too that like I would always
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: be hesitating, Like I don't really like to go to
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Florida in general, just because of the politics, and I
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: find it so just to be a depressing place. I
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: know there are decent places to perform, and there are
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: good venues down there, but I try, but like, you know,
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: like Alabama had never gone to and then I went
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: and did a show in Montgomery and it was fucking
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: awesome because there is those always those groups of people
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: that really want you to calm down there that they
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: don't get, you know, they don't get everybody passing through
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: those cities, so they're even more wildly appreciative of it.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: And I like that. I like serving it up for
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: those people.
• 28:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and this is Look, it's a complex country that
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: we live in, but there are these pockets that surprise
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: you and you're like, this is amazing. I had a
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: great time here, you know, And that's part of the road,
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: Like I would never go to some of these cities
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: if I wasn't a comic, and then you find out
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: you like them. It's kind of cool. So that's part
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: of the way I romanticize the road. And I think
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: your actress gets better if you're out like that. You're
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: just like, okay, I'm making it. I was in Zanies
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: once and they told me you were in the green.
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: They were like, oh, Chelsea Hamm was just hearing like
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: every show she was just making adjustments. I mean, that's
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: the road. You know, you're tweaking, you're trying stuff like
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: that keeps me when I'm excited about stand up. That
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: makes me love it, love the road because I come
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: back and I feel the results of it.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I see what you're saying. So you're working
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: on your stuff a lot on the road.
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: I was just having this conversation with a friend of
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: mine because I was like, oh, I started in LA
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: doing stand up even though I'm from Jersey. Originally I
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: started doing stand up in LA and that culture there
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: isn't like three or four sets a night.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: You don't do that. You know, you do like four
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: or five sets a week.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: You get up every night once maybe twice, but like
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: those for diehards. But once I started doing the road,
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: like I don't come back to LA and go up
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: at the comedy Store or go to the laugh Factory
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: like I do my my shows.
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: When I sit telling you do I, why don't you
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: ever go up there?
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: I just I don't have any desire, like I want
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: to do my hour set, not a twenty minute set
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: or something like I will if it's a friend's show
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: and somebody asks me, but typically you're not gonna see
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: me at those clubs.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: I just don't.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: I feel like I've I don't want to say I've
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: outgrown it because that sounds like I'm too good for it,
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: which is not the case. I just don't have a
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: When I'm home, I want to fucking chill and recuperate,
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: because when I'm on the road, it's like Wednesday through
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: Sunday sometimes or you know, Thursday through Saturday, and then
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: I'm done and I come home and I'm.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: Like, chill, chill, chill, go back out.
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: So I think one of my fears and my audience
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: is very forgiving if I take a long time to
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: get to a punchline, because I think they know it's coming. Yeah,
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: but like you know, if someone will take something with
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: seller is the comedy seller and they're just like, what
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: the fuck are you doing? So I want, I want
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: to know how the jokes are for people that aren't
• 30:07
  Speaker 4: straight up just there for.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: Me, right, Yes, I understand that, you know.
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: And I also live like seven minute walk from the cellar,
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: so I feel like I go there more than I should, probably,
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: but but I love I love throwing shit at the
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: wall there. It's awesome.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's a good point.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: You do want to perform with people in front of
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: people that are not your fans totally.
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I mean I feel like you stop growing if
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: you don't do that, at least a little bit.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm just waiting for my house to be
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: done so I can fucking sell it and move to
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: New York. Probably move to New York, I mean, I hope,
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: So that was my plan about three years ago.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: I got second there.
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: Seemed like a New Yorker. You don't seem like an
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: LA person.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: I'm a Jersey that's the jersey you have.
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: Like a I think wherever you start, that's kind of
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: how you feel to me. And I saw you in
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: the city, like way back in the day. That wasn't
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: even a comic. I think you were opening for a tel.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: I saw you, Oh maybe Caroline's and uh and.
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: You had like a New York mentality, so you feel
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: New York you should come here.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would like to be here. I would like
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: to There's so much more action here.
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: Las cool.
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: It's a little bit like really healthy living and everyone's
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: in bed by eight. So I go there to recover,
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: you know. Mostly it's kind of like rehab.
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: I'm healthy when I'm there.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, everyone's healthy people. You can't get a drink after
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: ten o'clock at night.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: Nothing is open.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, anywhere in La, like they have never recovered from COVID.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: When you guys, when you were living with Taylors started
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: to bring this up again, But were you guys in
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: New York or La?
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: We uh a little bit of both. During COVID we
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: were in La uh huh, and that was probably the
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: healthiest I've ever been.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would imagine.
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: I mean she doesn't drink, so you know, she felt bad.
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: I was there, so she's like, let's go to Vonn's
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: and let's just find a bunch of liquor. For you see,
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: don't go crazy, but she doesn't. It's also weird to
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: just drink when the other person is still drinking. Yeah,
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: not that, like I can't, but it's just not as fun.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: No, it's not as fun. I actually had this show.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: I was dating this guy and I had the shoulder
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: injury last year and I couldn't drink for like thirty
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: days because I had it, Like I had to get
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: this intravenous antibiotics every twenty four hours, asking.
• 32:05
  Speaker 4: The doctor for loopholes, Like what if?
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: I mean, well, I find out after because you could
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: have been drinking on those antibiotics. They're so strong they'll
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: kill everything. I'm like, you could have fucking told me
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: that a month ago. No, but I was like, oh good,
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: a month of sobriety under my belt, Like I could
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: use that, you know, I mean I like to have
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: a drink. So but this guy didn't take the queue
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: and he kept drinking while I was unable to drink,
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: and I was like, you're out, get out of here.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: I'm like, are you stupid?
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: This is your one opportunity to like band together with
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: your partner who cannot drink.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: This is the moment you don't drink.
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: Also, Yeah, I was there was a go I wasn't
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: like dating, but we were kind of hooking up a
• 32:38
  Speaker 4: little bit and she would just happen to be in
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: town and she goes, where are you, I'd love to
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: see you, and she showed up. I was just at
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: a bar, shitface with my friend and she was disgusted.
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: But I didn't know she was coming. Like she just
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: taped me up like like twenty minutes before, like let's
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: hang out, and she was like, you just drunk. I'm like,
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: he met me at a bar that had been there
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: for like three hours. Yeah, I'm gone.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah that's hard. Being drunk is pretty.
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: Is probably not even a bad drunk, Like any bad
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: drunk as you get older has to quit. I'm a
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: pretty please I'm like a go getter when I'm drunk.
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: I talk about like grand ideas. I'm like, oh, I'm
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: going to do this, It's going to be great. I
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: make big promises. I don't follow through on them, but
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: I do in my heart want to do them.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, your intention is there.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you have a good, healthy relationship with alcohol.
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: I'm the type of drunk who tells you, like how
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: I genuinely feel about you, and I'm it's going to
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: be good. I'm not going to drink with you. I
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: don't like mm hmm. So it's all positive.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: So that's very high school too, when you get drunk
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: and start telling people how much you like them. That
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: reminds me of like, you know, eleventh grade in high school, yes,
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: where people like you're my best friend, you know what
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: I love about you? This is what I love or
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: or like MDMA people say that, but at a certage, Yeah,
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: have you ever done MDMA?
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: Drugs?
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: Don't like that?
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: Okay, well I'll do like basically, I'll do like like
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: if it's a muscle relax or something, or like yeah,
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: you know, rhythlin and stuff like that. But I don't
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: do do do you do a lot of pills and stuff?
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm familiar with pills. I mean I'm pretty
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: much like I'm.
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: All familiar with such a classy way to say that
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: I'm familiar with pills.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: But I wouldn't. I wouldn't say I'm a pill popper,
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: like if.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: I if I if I have, like I had surgery
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: on my foot a couple like I guess two months ago,
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: and I had some pain pills for that but I wasn't.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: It wasn't like the enjoyment I would have gotten from
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: pills like ten years ago. Like I'm not interested in
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: that stuff anymore, but I do like like MDMA, I
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: like LSD. I microdose LSD all the time. I love LSD.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: I think it's the best, like upper So I'm pretty
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: like open. I'm a very drug positive drug I get
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: along well with drugs.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: I rarely have a bad time.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: I was just in a beza for three days and
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: that ends it on a sour note. But that I
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: don't think had anything to do with drugs. That was
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: more that was just like the heat, extreme heat, and
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: like from just like sick from like just I was
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: at this party for like three days. It was an
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: ongoing party, different people, groups of people. It wasn't one party,
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: but just like too much and it's hot, and I
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: was like, I'm out.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: I don't feel good at all.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: And then I slept for like almost twenty four hours
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: and missed my flight back.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: Fuck yeah, I mean I missed it intentionally.
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: I was like, I'm not making this flight. It's not happening.
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: I have to sleep cool when you made that choice,
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: so yeah.
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: It feels good. It feels good.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: And then they were like, well, we have to change
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: your hotel room because you were supposed to check out.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: And I was like, well, good luck with that because
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: I'm not fucking getting up.
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, you did squatters law.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: I was like, you have to come and remove me.
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: You use your squatters right.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: I was like, common, gat my luggage and then bring
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: me a wheelchair and feel me to the next location.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: Because that's how this is going down. And that's how
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: it worked.
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: Like it was fine, you're super hungover.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: I was just like I was just weak. It was
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: more of weak, like I wasn't I didn't get sick
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: or anything. I just felt like, you know, sometimes you
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: get zapped, and for me, I have the climate change is.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: Going to be a big problem for me because I
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: can't fucking take the eat.
• 35:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I need. I want to invest your jew. Yeah,
• 35:52
  Speaker 4: East Coast Jew. That's all we do is complain about.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: Anything anything really. Yeah, it doesn't have to be the weather.
• 35:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, we're gonna take a break and we're going to
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: be right back with Sam.
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: Morrell calling all duos. We're looking for more couples to
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: write in for couples counseling with Chelsea. So whether that's
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: your partner or your mom or your best friend, feel
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: free to write into Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: Okay, and we're back with Sam Morrell. His tour right now.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: Everybody you can go see him at Sam morrell dot com.
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: That's m O R R I L. His tour is
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: called the Errors Tour, not to be confused with the
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: other tour that ended last year.
• 36:34
  Speaker 4: How did you familiar?
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: How did you come up with that name?
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: Sound? I don't know, it just came to me, just
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: hit me, and do people get confused? It's happened. Yeah.
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: I saw another comedian using it too, and I was like,
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: I beat him to.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: It another one. How can you do that at the
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: same time.
• 36:47
  Speaker 4: Mine was already out there.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: I can't do it, I know, But did that guy
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: do a Google check and find out that it's happening?
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: But it's all right.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: Your newest special is called Same Time Tomorrow, which.
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: No newest ones? What you've changed? That one's on Amazon
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: Same Time Tomorrow with a Netflix one, but that's on
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: my YouTube channel now I got the rights back for.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: That, did you for Netflix? Wow? Nice? You're quite a
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: deal maker.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: You are Jewish and you've changed is on Amazon.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: As with all his other specials, the Hour was immediately
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: a hit with fans and critics alike, with The New
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: York Times praising him as reliably funny.
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: I didn't send this.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: Here's a quote from Vulture, just to make you even
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: more embarrassed. A good comedian who has done the work
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: of establishing a clear, distinct persona can get as big
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: of a laugh on a pause as they can a punchline.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Oh that's a great compliment. Yeah, that's actually what you
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: just said about yourself kind of is it? Moments ago
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: you said your audience is forgiving when you lead up
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: to a joke. I mean, it's not the same as
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: a pose, but I'm gonna.
• 37:46
  Speaker 4: I just meant their patient with me because I'm Sometimes
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: it's it's you know, you know how it is when
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: you have the nopet out you're trying to figure it out. Yeah?
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, did you bring your notepacket on stage?
• 37:54
  Speaker 5: A lot?
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: I try not to. I ran into someone who called
• 37:57
  Speaker 4: me out for it recently on this at a bar.
• 37:59
  Speaker 4: He was I always had it showing you just had
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: your fucking notepad out and I was like, well, you know,
• 38:02
  Speaker 4: I build the show is working out new material.
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: And he's like, still, dude at the cellar.
• 38:07
  Speaker 4: No it. I was at a bar with a friend
• 38:09
  Speaker 4: like you talking about and Dania Beach at the improv
• 38:12
  Speaker 4: there and I was doing workout show.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: So I think if you're at a comedy club, you're
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: allowed to bring your notes on stage.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: I mean, who gives a shit.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: It's like you're doing Madison Square Garden and looking at
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: your notebook.
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, which, by the way, yeah, sorry, oh oh my god?
• 38:24
  Speaker 4: That bad.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean it wasn't great.
• 38:26
  Speaker 4: It came out involuntarily, it was.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: It came out more of as an exhale. But I
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: know what a burp is.
• 38:31
  Speaker 4: Fun. I thought I thought it could be sneaky.
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: I'm just waiting for it to reach my nostrils, but
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: it hasn't been, which is lucky. Okay, So you also
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: did the Rest of the Year a little bit with
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: Cannon Burner.
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: Yes, how was that terrible? Was it awful?
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 38:47
  Speaker 4: It was just a mess. So it was like a
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: four hour shoot and people were like they people some
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: of the people that couldn't read a prompter, so they're
• 38:54
  Speaker 4: taking like thirty minutes to do their set and we're
• 38:56
  Speaker 4: just sitting at a table behind them.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: Like just fun. Oh was it a audience?
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, it was like a four hour shoot.
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 39:02
  Speaker 4: I thought it was so bad for the crowd.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: I think Jeff asked me to do that, and I
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: was like, I'm not, no, I don't do roast.
• 39:08
  Speaker 4: First of all, I said no, and then Mark Norman
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: said yes because they told him. I said yes, and
• 39:13
  Speaker 4: he's your buddy. He's my buddy, and then he was
• 39:15
  Speaker 4: We kind of were like, what if we just did
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: it together so it would take the you know out
• 39:19
  Speaker 4: of it, take this thing and we had fun. Actually, yeah,
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: working it out together was fun because we were like
• 39:24
  Speaker 4: riffing off each other, figuring out jokes.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: I liked to Are you typically into roast? Do you
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: like to do those?
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't say it's like my style of humor, but
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: I yeah, I like them. I think they're like they're
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: it's a tradition for a reason. It's fun. Yeah, how
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: about you.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've never done them, just because my personality
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: is so like I'm just roasting people anyway, Like I
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: don't really need to be.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: I've always looked at it.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: Like that's a hat on a hat, you know what
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: I mean, Like it's a little much.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: You'd I mean to go off on people all the time.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, now that I'm not on a show where I'm
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: roasting people all the time, it would be a different thing.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: But I don't know.
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: I would have to see what they he asked me
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: to do this one. But it was at the worst
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: time of the year. I was like, I just had
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: just got Whistler. I'm like, I'm not leaving.
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: There was a period when I think, like Roast Battle,
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: that stuff got too big, and all these new comics
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: could they were graded insulting people, but they didn't have
• 40:08
  Speaker 4: five minutes on themselves. So to me that I was
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: kind of like, add is becoming too much of a thing.
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: But when it's a big I didn't like the idea
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: of roasting the year either, because it's like I don't
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: like roasting people who aren't in the room.
• 40:19
  Speaker 5: M m.
• 40:20
  Speaker 4: So that's why we most of our jokes were like
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: Diddy Luigi, I'm like, all right, let's they're either on
• 40:24
  Speaker 4: trial or in jail, Like, let's shit on people that
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: actually or not here for a reason.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: Right, We're gonna take callers and get into some advice soon.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: This is what we do here at chor Chelsea. You're
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: gonna love it. What is your situation now romantically? Do
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: you have a girlfriend?
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: No? I don't do you?
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: Are you good at being a boyfriend?
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: This is a very female heavy show, so you're gonna
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: have a lot of new female fans.
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: Cool. So if you want to say if you're a
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: good girlfriend or no.
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't date me. I mean, I'm doing my own thing.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: I don't really have any respect for like anyone. Like
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: I don't like to be in a couple. I like
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: to just do my own thing and casual encounters.
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: Okay, that's cool. I think I'm really in it. I'm good,
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: but I was in one for a while and it
• 41:08
  Speaker 4: takes a while for me to I like to kind
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: of heal for a while and then just go do
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: my own thing.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: You need to recover from the relationship for a while,
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: totally right. Well, that's nice to hear from a man
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: because a lot of women feel that way.
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: Really, Yeah, like a lot.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: It takes a lot out of you to be in
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: a relationship. First of all, you fall in love and
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: then you get you can get your heart broken, and
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: so then you're vulnerable and you like you have to
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: like kind of almost kind of lick your wounds regardless
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: of how the relationship ended, Like you can have your
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: heartbroken even if you're the person that ended the relationship.
• 41:35
  Speaker 4: Actually, yeah, no, it's I'm usually the person who gets dumped,
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: I feel like, which is kind of great.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: Well, you're a man, so you should be getting dumped. Yeah,
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: I mean, you guys have done enough.
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: I'm getting punished for every man ever.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: Well, all men should be punished for every man ever
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: or not should be, but they are kind of being punished.
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: Maybe.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: I think what it is really, I'll tell you what
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: it is, because I was just thinking about this the
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: other day. Yeah, I was because I'm just coming back
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: onto men, Like I was kind of grossed out by
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: men for a period of time.
• 42:02
  Speaker 4: Did you ever do you ever have like a lady
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: phase or no?
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but only with guys, like in threesome situations, Like
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: I'm not hooking up with girls on my own, you know,
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: I'm not like, hey, come over and eat my pussy,
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: but guys.
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: Ye, what my turn off was was this kind of
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: like political backdrop that we're in, even if men aren't
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: Trump supporters, it's very emblematic right now. The world we're
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: living in the news every single day is very emblematic
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: of the reason we're here in this situation in the
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: first place is because of men, you know, because of
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: men not standing up for women enough, standing up for
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: the rights of people that are not white, straight males enough,
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: Like men aren't they don't think that's their job, so
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: that you don't have to be a Trump supporter to
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: be contributing to that, you know what I mean.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: So in a certain way, this is from my perspective,
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: only in a certain way.
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: Like I was like, God, I'm so off of men
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: for like the last six months, and I was talking
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: it out with a friend.
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I know what it is.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm so grossed out by what we're dealing
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: with right now that I want to blame all men
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: for bringing us here, not just the men who's voted
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: for Donald Trump, but all men, all men for not going, oh,
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: gay people need rights. I'm actually going to actively stand
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: up for their rights. I'm going to actively stand up
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: for women's rights and you know, equity and all of
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: the things that matter. So but now I'm starting to
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: realize you guys didn't know any better.
• 43:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I feel like if we get blamed
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: for all the bad stuff men have done, we should
• 43:26
  Speaker 4: also get credit for all the great stuff men have
• 43:28
  Speaker 4: done too. Like you know, I name something maybe before
• 43:31
  Speaker 4: I falk you. I'm like this condom A dude came
• 43:34
  Speaker 4: up with that. Oh that's kind of cool.
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's just you guys helping yourselves again, do
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: you see, Because you're protecting yourself from having a child, so.
• 43:41
  Speaker 4: You have to be protect you from my STDs.
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: But you have to think of STDs.
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: Yes, he does. By the way we test, he doesn't count.
• 43:49
  Speaker 4: He tested all count.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: He tested all of our guests before they come in.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: And you've tested positive for three different human papalomavirus, your
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: HIV positive HIV it's treatable now, and you have her beast,
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: which is also treatable. So problems there are.
• 44:06
  Speaker 4: God damn it.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: I bet you didn't realize you were going to get
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: diagnosed when you came on this podcast.
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: I didn't think so, But you know what, this is
• 44:12
  Speaker 4: A p gave me a trip to the doctor.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: You're right, I am a factor.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: I like to refer to myself as a farm to
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: table guynecologist. Our callers know that already.
• 44:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, No, I think I understand. I understand women are
• 44:26
  Speaker 4: especially when Roe v Way got overturned, I understand that.
• 44:28
  Speaker 4: I think that was uh yeah, it's just like.
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: You're you're insulted that we don't have enough comrades, you
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. It's like, why are we always
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: the ones screaming and yelling? Why aren't guys helping a
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: fight for us?
• 44:40
  Speaker 5: You know?
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: That's that's the sentiment. And I'm not saying that guys don't.
• 44:44
  Speaker 4: There are plenty of in this election.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but those women are being controlled by their husbands.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: And you know what I mean, like women who listen
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: to their husbands, Like any woman that voted for Donald
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: Trump is probably married to somebody who's a Trumper. And
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: that's a general is a that's probably not true for
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: every single one, but I'm sure.
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: It's true for a lot.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: And again that's on the fault of men for influencing
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: their wives.
• 45:09
  Speaker 4: Well, I feel terrible about this, guys. I'm sorry, Thank you.
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: That's all I was looking for was.
• 45:13
  Speaker 4: An apology this podcast.
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well you will get it.
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: You will get it.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: By apologizing. That's the first step.
• 45:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm so sorry.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: Okay, Catherine, what do we have on tap for today?
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: For Sam?
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: All right, Well, our first caller today is Morgan. The
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: subject line of her email is my dad wants me
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: to meet his son. Ye, Dear Chelsey, I am a
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: thirty seven year old woman who's found herself living in
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: the same town as her father after many years far
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: far away in NYC. My dad's dating life is a
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: fiery disaster. He's sixty five, has done well financially, and
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: has ended two of his marriages by having illicit, highly
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: choreographed affairs. He's been married three times, the first being
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: my mother. His most recently terminated relationship was with a
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: thirty two year old who was in need of financial help.
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: An entirely devoid of personality. He insisted that we meet her,
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: which we did, and I attempted to get to know her,
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: despite being squarely between mine and my brother's age at
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: the time. When she met my dad, he was more
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: than happy to pay for her bachelor's degree in nursing,
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: move her whole family into his home, including her brother
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: who was overcoming a gambling addiction, and after a few
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: tumultuous years. They ultimately married with zero guests and attendance.
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: Six months later, they were separating, after having given her
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: the reins to property manage his real estate portfolio. She
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: still runs it. He pays her handsomely. They're in the
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: process of detangling it, but it's a fucking mess. She'll
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: ultimately gain a property or two from the whole sort
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: of affair.
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: Ooh, lucky her.
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: About a week ago, I got engaged to the love
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: of my life while on vacation in Maui. The day
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: I'm returning home, my dad asks if we would like
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: to meet quote Sammy, the twenty six year old he's
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: been courting long distance. I told him I wouldn't meet
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: her until he met her parents. This whole saga is
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: wrote to me. Now he wants a trophy wife, which
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: in his case just it's like a vulnerable young woman
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: who may come from a troubled or a super religious upbringing.
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: Sammy the new girlfriend is of the latter variety. I'm
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: currently just biding my time before he proposes to yet
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: another young woman, one he barely knows he intends to
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: be engaged to Sammy first, prior to meeting her very
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: religious parents. What an absolute joke. His trust in women
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: is bargain basement vibes sold dirt cheap. My dad and
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: they are close, but I've learned to keep some distance
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: in order to keep my peace. How do I proceed?
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: Do I just kill with kindness and limit my time
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: with him? I refuse to allow him to bring this
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: new SUNI to my wedding, and I dread even just
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: meeting this young woman who likes old men. But here
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: I am just trying to quote let them. Thanks again, Morgan.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: Hi, Morgan, this is our special guest, Sam Morrele today.
• 47:43
  Speaker 4: Hi. How are you?
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's here to give you some straight heterosexual male
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: advice on this topic.
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: Perfect.
• 47:50
  Speaker 4: What do you mean by highly choreographed affair that sounds
• 47:53
  Speaker 4: like John Wick fucking or something that was that was crazy?
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: Same thing?
• 47:57
  Speaker 5: No, just that he them at all, you know, or
• 48:00
  Speaker 5: that they were highly secretive but like intentional.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: You know a lot of scheduling involved.
• 48:06
  Speaker 5: A lot of scheduling involved a lot of yeah, ground
• 48:09
  Speaker 5: to cover.
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: You want to limit your exposure to this woman?
• 48:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I find it kind of disheartening, only because it's
• 48:16
  Speaker 5: now becoming just such a rote pattern. You know. I
• 48:20
  Speaker 5: mean like it doesn't really matter who it is, but
• 48:23
  Speaker 5: essentially he just wants someone young, and it's like kind
• 48:27
  Speaker 5: of devalues some of my relationship. Like I love my dad,
• 48:32
  Speaker 5: but his relationship with women is.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: Like embarrassed digest Yeah, I mean like I would just
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: limit your exposure to her at all and just be
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: honest with your dad, Like I've already seen you get
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: swindled by this other woman. This seems to be a
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: pattern of behavior because there's not there's more than just
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: one right, right.
• 48:51
  Speaker 5: Well, yeah, there was someone he recently had a brief
• 48:54
  Speaker 5: marriage with, who is like.
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: That's the best kind to happen.
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: Is he like a romantic? Does he think that? Is
• 49:02
  Speaker 4: he in this where he's like this is the one?
• 49:04
  Speaker 4: Is he that?
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 49:06
  Speaker 5: Yes, he kind of has like this very old school
• 49:10
  Speaker 5: kind of romance.
• 49:12
  Speaker 4: But there's like a forty year age gap, right, Yeah,
• 49:15
  Speaker 4: that's fucking all that. I remember reading about Sinatra dating
• 49:18
  Speaker 4: Mia Farrow and he was like sixty and she was
• 49:20
  Speaker 4: twenty one, and it's like, what the fuck do you
• 49:23
  Speaker 4: talk about? It doesn't matter my knees hurt. She's like
• 49:25
  Speaker 4: what I saw seven.
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: I was at a dinner the other night there was
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: a seven year old, very famous seven year old with
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: a twenty one year old He's married, first of all,
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: and he was there with a twenty one year old
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: girlfriend who was in because and I know she was
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: twenty one because she went to Pepperdine.
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: She was actively a Pepperdine student last year.
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: I don't understand. Maybe Sam can shed light on this.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: I think that first of all, men just need a woman.
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: They can't be alone.
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: Men have incredibly older men especially have an incredibly That's
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: why when men get divorced, they remarry immediately, and women
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: get divorced and they're like, I'm never fucking getting married again,
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: because women are taking care of them, and men want
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: to be taken care of and they want a younger,
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: hotter girl so that they feel relevant and that people
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: look at them and go, oh my god, look at
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: that guy. That Look at that man with that young girl.
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: He must be so incredible.
• 50:12
  Speaker 4: But she must be. She's using him as well, though
• 50:14
  Speaker 4: clearly obviously.
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean they're both using each other.
• 50:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's.
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: Actually a perfect thing.
• 50:19
  Speaker 5: It's like I have fully resigned myself to the fact
• 50:21
  Speaker 5: that these relationships are transactional in nature, you know, it's like,
• 50:25
  Speaker 5: why do I have.
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: To be involved? Well? Why do you have to be involved?
• 50:29
  Speaker 5: Though?
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: Is the question?
• 50:30
  Speaker 5: Well, that's the thing, is like I've had moments where
• 50:34
  Speaker 5: I just can't deal with the drama of his life.
• 50:38
  Speaker 4: But I don't even understand why you are. I mean,
• 50:40
  Speaker 4: just say, like, hey, it's my wedding. You come, but
• 50:42
  Speaker 4: I don't want her there. That's your wedding. That's cool, right,
• 50:45
  Speaker 4: and then and then and then why else do you
• 50:47
  Speaker 4: have to hang out with her? Just say it makes
• 50:48
  Speaker 4: me uncomfortable, Just say I don't I don't like that,
• 50:51
  Speaker 4: Or you can try dating a black guy and really
• 50:53
  Speaker 4: piss him off.
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: Isn't your way for you to date a black guy,
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: because aren't you getting married.
• 50:57
  Speaker 5: I'm getting readried to somebody whose last name is white.
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: So you're the white guy.
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: That would be even better if he was black and
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: his last name were white.
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: Ye, that would be a double whoopsie doodle. Yeah, that
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: would be great.
• 51:09
  Speaker 5: I know that I won't allow that to happen at
• 51:12
  Speaker 5: my wedding, or like she won't be there. I think
• 51:15
  Speaker 5: I know that I used to live, you know, on
• 51:18
  Speaker 5: the other side of the country, and now we're both
• 51:21
  Speaker 5: living in the same town again after you know, seventeen
• 51:24
  Speaker 5: eighteen years.
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: That's perfect because then that's your excuse. You don't have
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: to go visit him. To visit him, you're in the
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: same town now, so that if you want to go
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: to lunch with your father, you don't have to hang
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: out with his girlfriend or whatever, you know, his prostitute
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: slash wife. And when when you said sunny, that threw
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: me for a lutulu because that applies.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: It was his daughter, right or your stepdaughter, right. So
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: it's not that bad.
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: She's He's just a guy that's dating women that are
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: too young, and he's perfectly happy paying for them and
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: being taken advantage by them exactly. And that's fine. But
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: you can separate the two. You could be like, listen, dad,
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: we're in the same city now. I've had enough of
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: your drama with these young women. It's obviously a transactional relationship.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: I don't want anything to do with it. It's embarrassing
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: to me. I love you, You're my father. When I
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: spend time with you, it's going to just be us
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: and that's it. And if you have a problem with that,
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: then I'm sorry, but I have to set up some
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: boundaries here because you've been doing whatever you wanted and
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: this last hot mess was it impacted all of you?
• 52:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, but also he's not and you know you
• 52:22
  Speaker 4: have lunch with him, and that said, he's not gonna
• 52:24
  Speaker 4: try to bang any of your friends because they've aged
• 52:26
  Speaker 4: out probably, so you're safe there. And then yeah, just
• 52:30
  Speaker 4: just hang out with your dad and just your dad.
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and don't have sex with him.
• 52:35
  Speaker 5: No.
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this whole Sunie thing put a damper on this conversation.
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: I will say, Morgan, there is another very important piece
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: to this that you'll want to have a serious conversation
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: with your dad about, and that is inheritance stuff. You know,
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: him being I know you said with his previous wife
• 52:54
  Speaker 3: he had a prenup, but that's like not actually enough.
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: He needs to go to an elder law or a
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: state planning attorney and basically talked to him about like, hey,
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: we don't want this to be a thing where, like
• 53:05
  Speaker 3: God forbid, something happens to you, which it will eventually
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: that all of your assets go to this person who's
• 53:11
  Speaker 3: twenty six or whatever. You need to like set it
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: up so it follows the bloodline and any good elder
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: law or estate planning attorney should be able to help
• 53:20
  Speaker 3: him set up his assets in a way that like,
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: she can be provided for if they're still married at
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: the time of his death. But it's not just like Okay,
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: now she gets to go live her life with Biff
• 53:28
  Speaker 3: the pool boy.
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: In fact, I would use that as a bargaining chip,
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: like I would say, if you do all of those things,
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: she's allowed to be in my life ten percent of
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: the time that I see you, I will tolerate her
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: as long as you protect yourself financially from this woman.
• 53:41
  Speaker 4: Have you met her?
• 53:43
  Speaker 5: No, I haven't met her. But essentially when I got
• 53:46
  Speaker 5: back from Maui a couple weeks ago, we had just
• 53:48
  Speaker 5: got engaged, and my dad was like, hey, do you
• 53:51
  Speaker 5: mind just meeting Sammy really briefly tomorrow?
• 53:54
  Speaker 4: He stole your shine that's supposed to be your day.
• 53:57
  Speaker 5: And I was like, no, I mean no, But also,
• 54:00
  Speaker 5: have you met her parents yet? And he's like no,
• 54:03
  Speaker 5: And I'm like, well, yeah, how about you like meet
• 54:06
  Speaker 5: her family or like understand a little bit of context,
• 54:09
  Speaker 5: like you've spent a total of what thirty five days
• 54:13
  Speaker 5: with her over the course of a somewhat distance you know,
• 54:16
  Speaker 5: very new relationship, Like why do you it's just the
• 54:20
  Speaker 5: financial dominance or like whatever that is, or whatever.
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: This kink is.
• 54:25
  Speaker 5: It's like, it's just he just needs to ascribe himself,
• 54:30
  Speaker 5: wants to be in a dedicated romantic relationship. He wants
• 54:33
  Speaker 5: to share his romance with everyone else in his life,
• 54:36
  Speaker 5: and really that's not a lot more than just his
• 54:38
  Speaker 5: family members at this point. And so it's like it's
• 54:41
  Speaker 5: kind of a sad scenario. But yes, I appreciate where
• 54:44
  Speaker 5: he said, Catherine, because a lot of it is kind
• 54:46
  Speaker 5: of like, oh, is this also going to turn into
• 54:49
  Speaker 5: some mess fully at the end of his life?
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: I think that's the most important thing.
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: You know, however, he spends his time whoever he wants
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: to fuck, like whatever, but you don't need it in
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: your face all the time.
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: But be reasonable.
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: But also the financial aspect being the most important aspect,
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: because you don't want these girls just like taking all
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: of his money. I mean, he's basically paying for a
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: wife or a girlfriend anyway. So let him go ahead
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: and do that, but don't let that be turned into
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: something in his will.
• 55:15
  Speaker 4: I can ask a question, what's the minimum age going
• 55:18
  Speaker 4: forward that you'd be okay with him?
• 55:20
  Speaker 5: Fucking and you meeting, I mean honestly.
• 55:23
  Speaker 4: Because we get him to set his tender to that,
• 55:25
  Speaker 4: then maybe we avoid this in the future.
• 55:27
  Speaker 5: You know, yeah, well exactly, But I forty forty, it
• 55:32
  Speaker 5: would just be someone who's like in or around my age,
• 55:35
  Speaker 5: because I really did give that last girl a chance,
• 55:37
  Speaker 5: you know what.
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: I mean, like around your age.
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: That's so gross to think of your father dating someone
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: your own age.
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: It's fucking weird, right.
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, did I ever tell you the story, Catherine, when
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: my mother died. One week after my mother died, my father,
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: Seymour handler, who now, thank god, is deceased, was in
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: our kitchen and my brother Roy went over to our
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: house to check on my father in a thirty five
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: cornyside drive in Livingston, New Jersey, and his housekeeper, his
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: Jamaican cleaning lady, was nude in the kitchen cleaning for
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: him while he had his pants down on the sofa
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: twenty feet away from her.
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: Now, that was a week after my mother died.
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: That is that is what happens to older men when
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: they when they lose their wives.
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: That's not all older men.
• 56:23
  Speaker 4: I got to get a new cleaning lady I have.
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: I would never ever have known how disgusting my father
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: was unless my mother had died. That's crazy disgusting. Wow,
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: can you imagine this poor woman?
• 56:36
  Speaker 4: I mean, that is that how she came Well, I'm.
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: Sure he's like, hey, why don't you take her clothes
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: off and clean and I'll sit here at masturbait and
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: I'll give you an extra forty bucks.
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure that was it was something along
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: those lines.
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: But imagine hearing that on your group, your family thread, like, hey,
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: I just came over to dad's house and guess who
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: was naked in the kitchen.
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: You're like, wow, this is a real bummer. Listen.
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: Old men can be gross and they can have gross toes,
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: but it is your father. So I think we've sorted
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: this issue out. I think you're going to be fine,
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: and you just have to be very direct.
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, rank you so much. Thanks more, welcome, You're welcome.
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: Follow up with us? Okay, thank you, I will Bye.
• 57:17
  Speaker 4: Sam.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: Do you think you'll be one of those men that
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: when you get older, you're going to want to date
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: twenty year old It's.
• 57:21
  Speaker 4: Like, do you he No, I mean I won't go
• 57:23
  Speaker 4: that young now.
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm pretty you're not even forty yet, So
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: I don't think you really know until you're in your
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: fifties as a man, if you're going to go down
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: that road.
• 57:32
  Speaker 4: I just think that's too young for me. I don't
• 57:34
  Speaker 4: really connect with it, like I t I think the
• 57:36
  Speaker 4: youngest I.
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: Would go because at a certain point they're not talking
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: about anything.
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: They're just there for you know.
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: It's like your penis like a fuck doll. Yeah, and
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: it's also to show off. I would imagine it's.
• 57:49
  Speaker 4: To show My friends would be impressed with it. I
• 57:51
  Speaker 4: think they'd be like, what the fuck are you doing?
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: But I would imagine that the men who are doing
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: that believe that people are looking at them with envy.
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: Look at me, Look what I have.
• 58:02
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I think I can't preduct. I'm really unproduct.
• 58:06
  Speaker 4: I don't have a type. Really, I'm pretty unpredictable with
• 58:09
  Speaker 4: who I date, so I don't think I would do that.
• 58:11
  Speaker 4: But I mean, my ex was older than me. I've dated.
• 58:17
  Speaker 4: Taylor's the youngest biggest age gap I've ever dated. Yeah,
• 58:22
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I think if the person's hot there,
• 58:23
  Speaker 4: if I'm attracted them, I don't give a shit.
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: I know, but It's just that there's a different thing
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: that happens when there's somebody, a man that's over sixty
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: year over seventy with somebody that's twenty to thirty years younger.
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: I used to date guys that were like twenty years
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: older than me when I was in my twenties. Now
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't date someone twenty years older than me because
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: that means they're almost seventy Totally, Like, I'm not down
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: for that either.
• 58:42
  Speaker 4: Say what stage of your life are you in? What
• 58:46
  Speaker 4: is interesting you right now? What do you want to
• 58:48
  Speaker 4: do with your life? Like, I don't want to date
• 58:52
  Speaker 4: someone who's just figuring out who they are, right, you know,
• 58:56
  Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure I'm pretty secure in who I am.
• 58:59
  Speaker 4: And you date someone's super young, You're just like, what,
• 59:02
  Speaker 4: it takes a lot of people to form an identity.
• 59:04
  Speaker 4: I think.
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: Well, it's also interesting what you say about like what
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: stage of life you're in, because how many stages are there?
• 59:10
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 59:11
  Speaker 4: Like, oh I was I was with a girl who
• 59:12
  Speaker 4: was like just like I want to say, eight years
• 59:14
  Speaker 4: younger than me recently, and she took me to this
• 59:17
  Speaker 4: bar and I was like, this is fucking loud.
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: This sucks sure that I appreciate.
• 59:25
  Speaker 4: So it's just I mean, you go to certain bars,
• 59:28
  Speaker 4: you're like, this is for a certain age. And then
• 59:30
  Speaker 4: I always liked older people bars just because I like
• 59:33
  Speaker 4: that you could have a conversation, because you know, soft jazz,
• 59:37
  Speaker 4: we'll talk, we'll have a few drinks. But the loud music,
• 59:40
  Speaker 4: I'm getting older, Like I get it now. My mom
• 59:42
  Speaker 4: will be in a restaurant me and she'll be like,
• 59:44
  Speaker 4: this is so fucking loud. I'm like, it's not that loud.
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: That's what the LSD is for, to tolerate those situations. Really, yeah, totally,
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: you can handle any situation on LSD.
• 59:52
  Speaker 4: I hate loud.
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: I understand what you mean.
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: I also don't like loud, but like, if I need
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: to get it up in that environment, meaning need to
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: go and hang in that kind of environment.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 6: I'm going to I do have a penis, Sam, and
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 6: I think we all know I have a penis, But yeah,
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 6: then I'll take I'll take whatever whatever, I'll take whatever
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 6: means necessary to get me into the mood to hang
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 6: out in that situation.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 4: I know, I know what you mean, Like I want
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 4: to be a good sport, but I.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: Feel the same way as you. It's fucking annoying. Loudness
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: is annoying.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 4: I see young people waiting on lines for bars and stuff,
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 4: and I'm like, what.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah that's something right, you don't do that right.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 4: Time is valuable.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, let's well take a break and we'll be right
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: back with Sam Morell. And we're back to wrap it
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: up with Sam Morrell. Sam, it was great.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: We've never met before.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: No, right, great, because I was like I always say
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: that and people like, oh, yeah, we've met you. I
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: was on your show, but no, we've never met before.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 2: So it's really nice to meet you.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and congrats on all of your success you too, Yeah,
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: you're really funny. Comic ladies, if you're if you're watching
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: and you're looking for a new male comic who's not
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: discussing and not a rapist, Morel's your man. His newest
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: special is on Amazon and then he's got other specials.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 4: On my next credit Netflix.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: Not a rapist, he's not He's not one like one
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: of those guys, those male comics that are gross and detestable.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: He's not like that at all. He's normal, he's he's clean,
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: he took a shower.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 4: The bar is so nice.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 6: And low.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did shower before you took.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: I could tell he only burped once, but that was accident.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 4: Was a Seltzer though.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, okay, Well you can go catch him on tour, guys,
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: he's on the Errors tour and if you're in Europe
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: you can go see.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 4: Him there everywhere in Europe almost except a couple of
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 4: places she mentioned.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: And you can see him in Cardegie Hall in Chicago
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: Theater October fourth, Chicago Theater October fourth, Carnegie Hall December fourth.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 4: You said, yeah, yeah, okay, got Vegas coming up to
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 4: Venetian September nineteenth. Yeah, I got a bunch of fun
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 4: dates coming up.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: Okay, love it, love it, and then go follow him
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 2: on Instagram.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: You guys, his stand up is really fucking funny, and
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: you're gonna like those call in shows he or Collins
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: he does to, Well they're not Collins, so fuck it. Anyway, Sam,
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: it was great to meet.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: I put up new Vegas dates by the way for
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: next year. This year, I will be there November first
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: and November twenty ninth. Those are my last two dates
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: this year. Then I start up again January thirty first
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: March seventh, April eighteenth, and May thirtieth, and tickets are
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: now on sale for all of those dates.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 3: Do you want advice from Chelsea, Right into Dear Chelsea
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 3: Podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea pod.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 3: producer Catherine law And be sure to check out our
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 3: merch at Chelseahandler dot com