Latest / The Elite Real Estate Podcast / JoJo Dries | On The Wings of Angels, Faith Over Fear, and What God Does When You Stop Playing It Safe

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JoJo Dries | On The Wings of Angels, Faith Over Fear, and What God Does When You Stop Playing It Safe · The Elite Real Estate Podcast

• 0:00
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• 0:01
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• 0:50
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• 0:52
  SPEAKER_04: We've got a powerhouse show lined up today.
• 0:54
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• 0:59
  SPEAKER_04: Good morning, good morning, good morning, everybody.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_04: Welcome into the Elite Real Estate Podcast on another fabulous Friday morning where we try to break down everything for everybody and make sure that everybody's minds right on a Friday morning.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_04: A lot of times in this business we get beat up all week and we need a release on Friday.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_04: So I am super excited to have my guest in studio today, Ms.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_04: Jojo Dryz.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_04: How are you?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_04: Doing well.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: Good morning, Jimmy.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_04: Thanks for having me, and I'm honored to be here.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_04: Of course, of course.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_04: We met not too long ago.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_04: And uh and here we are.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm really honored to be here.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was just saying before we went live, you know, uh back when I was in my mortgage and real estate days, you were the guy to know.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: So to be in studio with you today is a quite an honor.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I appreciate that.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_04: I appreciate that.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_04: So um, and and that's a it's a it's a funny story because you your travels between real estate, mortgage, title, like you've done pretty much everything on the real estate side.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: I have.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: I actually grew up in the real estate industry.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we owned a mortgage company and a real estate company, and we started a certification company for mortgage professionals.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, we were featured in the Wall Street Journal on CNN.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we had inlines with the Fed Reserve uh team when we would do our seminars.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then when I got married and had kids, I went back to the real estate industry and started a mortgage company as well.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: So been around a while, been uh closer on the title side.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so love the industry, but uh for my own mental health had to exit a couple of years ago.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_04: There's something to be said about that.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_04: We can dive into that part.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_04: Dive into that part.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_04: I always joke when I'm when I'm coaching people or doing a training, and I always say, like, I'm only 25.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_04: I'm only I'm just a real estate agent, right?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: This is what happens when you've been in, you know, it's like those memes.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's like uh, yeah, um, you know, this is me, and then this is me in real estate, and it's like it's age to do 30 years over two.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, if we think the president's age fast while they're in office, no, we're a lot worse in this industry.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_04: Whether that's real estate or mortgage, it really doesn't matter.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Correct, correct.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, at the end of the day, uh real estate and mortgage gave me my head start and title um in actually developing who I am as a person, what I love to do, um, how I interact with uh people and how I grow a business.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: The industry taught me a lot, and I'll be forever grateful for it.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, me too.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_04: And it it does, it can humble you quickly, right?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_04: You can think everything's great, and then it can humble you really quick.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_04: You know, I think we've I think all of us in this industry have had those humbling moments from time to time where we think everything's great, and then you kind of look around and you're like, oh crap.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna embarrass myself and give you a top example of that because it taught me a huge lesson.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: So when I got back in the industry, I was a loan closer uh for title companies.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was the notary that would come out and help people sign their documents.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so uh there was this big account that I really wanted to win.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: And they gave me a chance and they said, here, Jojo, here's your first closing, here's the client, went into the office, did the closing.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: I was so proud of myself, overnighted it back to the lender, and immediately heard back the next day.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: And they had told me that I did not notarize the actual mortgage.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, as a loan closer, that's like your number one job is to notarize the mortgage, let alone all the other documents.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: And that was one of the most humbling moments for me because it it reminded me you can't rush.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: You can't rush through anything.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: And even when you think you're at the top of your game and you have maybe that account that you really wanted to win, you have to take your time with every step of the way.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: And that's with any business.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_04: So that's a big learning lesson.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was, and and it's helped, it helped develop.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: I will never forget that.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I tell that story a lot because it helped develop me as a person.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, instead of giving myself the excuse that, oh, that's just how I am, I do things quick, I multitask.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: No, it it told me take a step back, take a deep breath before you make your next move or your next next decision.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_04: Double check.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: Double check it all.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_04: Trust but verify.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: Never did that again.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: Never missed a notary again.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I know.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_04: You know what?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_04: I I I was I told a story not too long ago.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_04: The very first offer I wrote in in real estate, I wrote I put a 10-day uh inspection period and then a 10-day response.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_04: And I got the offer accepted.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm and then and then I was and then people are like, Well, how did you?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I don't know.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_04: I just put 10 and 10 in there.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_04: I didn't know I didn't I didn't know what it was gonna be.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_04: Same thing, I can't.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, I'm writing an offer first offer ever writing.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: So exciting.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_04: 10 day inspection period, and then it was and then it said the response.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, what does that mean?
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I was like, what does that mean?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_04: And then I said, just put 10 days in that too.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I'm like, uh whatever, it's 10 and 10.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_04: And then the agent reached out and was like, who does that?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I don't know, man.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_04: I just you accepted the offer, not me.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: Not me.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: You're the one who put your name on there.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but I think in any business, it's a huge, um, it's a huge note to take your time.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: You know, life goes by so fast.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: We're used to having everything at the click of a button.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: And in any industry, to be successful, you have to take your deep breath and move forward.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah instead of just signing, being quick about it, overnighting.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: Doesn't matter how proud you are of that moment.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: And then to the experienced people, it's the same.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that lesson taught me that okay, you may have been in this industry a while, you may have thought you knew what the heck you were doing, but you still didn't take your time and you made that huge mistake.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: So now in business, I do that every time.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: The other party can wait a day, two days.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's not gonna make or break things.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: Let's just take our deep breath and make sure we make our right decision.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's huge, right?
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_04: And it it we do tend to hurry up and wait.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_04: We we hurry up and wait in this business a lot.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_04: 30 days to get a transaction done, hopefully.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: But if you do it wrong, you know, and that's the thing I always remind people that I'm coaching is, you know, you could make it quick and you could be that quickest person in the industry, in any industry you're in, but if it's wrong, you're it's gonna come back to bite you.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: So you might as well do it the right way the first time and take your time.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, a hundred percent.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_04: And I I I I do feel like I, you know, I had a deal like n last summer, and you know, we had to move in, we had to move some, we had a postpone closing, yeah.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_04: We needed a city certificate.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_04: We need, you know, so all these things are happening.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_04: And the agent called me, she was very upset.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_04: She was yelling at me on the phone, and I let her yell for a second.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_04: Sure.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm on the list side, and I let her yell for a second, and I said, Okay, so I understand where you're coming from, but at the end of the day, you and I both have the same goal here.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, we both have the same goal.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_04: I want to sell this thing, and your client wants to buy it.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, you and I don't get paid until this thing closes.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_04: I totally understand that.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_04: I totally understand that.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: And and you know, it is the largest purchase that someone will probably ever make in their life and the largest investment, the largest loan.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: And we understand that, but it's also not heart surgery, right?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like somebody's not gonna die on the table.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_04: You heard me say that before?
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, but I used to tell people that all the time when I was nobody's gonna die.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: No one's gonna die tomorrow if we don't sign tomorrow.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: If we extend it by two more days, yes, we're making people's life inconvenient, maybe, but no one's dying.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: We're not heart surgeons here, so let's take our deep breath.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I say that a lot where it's like, guys, this is nobody's gonna die.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_04: Literally, you know, and uh the we get into the what ifs a lot too.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, what if my client gets this?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_04: What if what if yeah, like what if they like it?
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, literally, what if it's good?
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that meme that talks about that.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of looking at the terrible what ifs, why aren't we looking at what if it could happen in such a positive way?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, that's how I run my life after everything I've been through.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's the best way to run your life.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's the happiest way.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_04: And and so now you've you've totally you're like, I left this whole business behind.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_04: You're like, I'm done with the whole mortgage, title, real estate, everything.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I brought with me the things I learned, the life lessons I learned.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but something I realized by getting back in the industry, and this gets a little personal, is when I was growing up in the industry, and I left my family.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and we'll get into that why I left.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: When I left my abusers and my family, the their whole business collapsed.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: The house got foreclosed on, it was a million and a half dollar home.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: Their business completely collapsed.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and they all moved out of state.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that was this affirmation that Jojo, you are a huge part of what was making that business successful.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: So then when I got back into it after having children and being married and starting my new life, it was this whole, okay, can I recover that part of my life?
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: Can I re-heal that part of my life and show that it was me that was the cause of that success?
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: So it was kind of like, okay, I healed it, I moved on, I was very successful when I got back in the mortgage industry and I recovered it.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: So now I can move on to be who I was always meant to be, which is running this nonprofit.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_04: It's and it's like you, you know, we were talking briefly before we got started about how you take you took the this those same business principles and everything to run this nonprofit now.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_04: And it's a business, it's it is it's a nonprofit, but it's a nonprofit business.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: 100%.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, in the nonprofit world, we often talk about why do we define ourselves with what we are not?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: A nonprofit.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_04: That is interesting.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's so bizarre.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's just a tax status, right?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: It it's not, it we have to be profitable to help the people we're trying to help.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: So to call ourselves a nonprofit, yes, I guess that's a little bit more palatable for some of the, you know, um old school donors.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: But at the end of the day, we have to be profitable to help the people we're helping.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know, this could be a great idea that just collapses on its feet if the community doesn't step up and say, here's some money to fund what it is you're trying to do.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_04: So so to dive into on the wings of angels, what is on the wings of angels?
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_04: Like would the idea.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I know what the idea came.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_04: So I know a lot, so I got a lot of give up.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_04: I don't want to give up too much crazy for everybody else.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_04: But on the wings of angels, um, as a nonprofit organization, that it's it's your baby.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, yes.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I, you know, um I I'm a domestic violence survivor.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: I grew up um in in domestic violence.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of people in the industry were very shocked to learn because they know a lot of my family members, um, what was happening behind closed doors.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: When I finally escaped 15 years ago, um, my husband and I started helping women of all sorts that were escaping violence because they're that was very close to our hearts because of me.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: And then four years ago, um, I was helping several people out of their situations.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: And one was a CPA, one was a real estate agent, and one was a financial planner.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: It was all in the space of one week.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: They were all very well-to-do women that didn't think that they could escape their situations.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: I helped them get in a home because I was in the mortgage industry um and be independent.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I told my mentor this.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: And she and my husband said, Jojo, you were meant to run a nonprofit to help women get out of domestic violence.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: So one day I'm drinking wine on my deck and I filled in an application with the IRS uh to become a 501c3.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: Within 30 days, we got our approval in August of 2022.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I just was kind of okay, this is gonna be a hobby.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: We're just gonna help as many women as we can.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: We'll get as many donors.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and then in March of 23, we went on um and created a website, and we spent thousands of dollars to create a great website that was safe for survivors to fill in their applications.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: And then I met Taryn Asher from Fox 2 News in summer of 23, and she said, I want to do a feature story on you.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: She came out in August of 23 and did a feature story, and that's when we got our first survivor to help uh escape.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: Now, on the Wings of Angels premise is that we provide immediate and tangible uh resources, community, and support to domestic violence survivors that are on their way out of an abusive situation.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_04: Incredible.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, incredible.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and it again, but it's it moves quickly.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_04: So you're so 22, yes, right?
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_04: Now we're in 26.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_04: It's it's less than four years.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: Less than four less than four years.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: And everyone always asked me, and you'll appreciate this, Jimmy, because you've run several businesses.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone asked me, how did you grow so quickly in for three, four years?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: And the answer is it wasn't three or four years, it's been 15 years in the making.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: It was all of the times that I spoke my story out into the universe that I posted about it on social media.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: So after all those years, the community was like, okay, she's been telling us her story, but now she's doing something to help people.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: We can now write checks because we trust this woman.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm on the news a lot, and one of the recent interviews they were telling me before we went on air, they said, you know, we do these stories all the time on nonprofits that are fraudulent, where they take the money and they keep it, you know, and they're not giving it back into the community.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the thing that's sustained us in the last three, four years is I'm an open book.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you want to see my accounting, you want to see, you want to talk to Plant Moran, my tax people, you want to go to my QuickBooks, I'm an open book.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: You can see exactly where the one is going, you know, and I'm not pocketing it.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not, I don't have a new yacht, you know, I don't have a new Bentley.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like this money is going directly back into the community.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not, I think for anyone listening who's trying to build a business who sees people supposedly have overnight success.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's never overnight success.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: This is years or decades in the making.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_04: I'm a 53-year-old overnight success.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: See?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_04: No, it didn't mean 50 years to get here.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, at the end of the day, people love to, you know, boast about, well, I've reached this or I've reached that.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: But tell me what you struggled with.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: Tell me what the pain points were before you got to this level of success.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: So when Tyron did that story in August, she came to my house, she spent half a day with me and my family.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: It ended up to be a six-minute segment on uh on air that night, and it kept getting repeated over the next couple of days.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: The first survivor heard us, she was in a gas station uh with her daughter, had been escaping at 10 o'clock at night, looked up at the TV, saw the story being aired, and called us.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: And that was one of the first survivors we helped.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: Then at the end of that year, we did a little, small little fundraiser in November at my friend's restaurant, Syndicate Ferndale.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, she hosted it for us, donated a lot of things.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: We had one of uh a very popular singer, Louie Lee, came and did an acoustic set for us, donated that.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: That was a first fundraiser.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Then I looked around and I said, every year on my birthday, April 30th, I do a big party because growing up being abused, I wasn't allowed to celebrate my birthday.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: My miserable abuser said no celebrations allowed.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: So ever since I got married, my husband's thrown me a huge birthday party every year.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_03: And what a great guy, by the way.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_03: What a great guy, by the way.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_03: He's the real deal.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so I said, I looked around at the community and I said, we're gonna throw a fundraising gala in April of 24.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of people, and here's another thing people need to understand is the vision is yours, it's not somebody else's.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're going to succeed in your business, you can't listen to the outside voices.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I said, we're gonna do a gala in April, and a lot of people said, You're not ready for this.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: You can't throw a gala, you've been around less than a year.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Well, we'll at least get 75 to 100 people there because they're gonna show up for my birthday anyways.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: We ended up getting 175 people.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: We netted$18,000 that first gala.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: In 2025, we did our second gala.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: We got all kinds of amazing speakers.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: We ended up at$43,000 net after all expenses were paid, all vendors.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: This year we did our third gala and we netted almost$80,000 net.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so I tell people this story not to brag on how much money we raised, which is amazing and we appreciate the community, but to tell you like things don't just grow, you have to put in the effort, no matter what the naysayers are saying.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, it oh man, that's a deep one because it's so true.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_04: It's again, it doesn't matter the business, it whether it's nonprofit.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_04: Again, I agree with you now that I thought put that together like nonprofit, but your whole goal is profit.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_04: Right, right.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because I can't help the survivors like it should be a profit business.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: It should be a profit business.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and you know, and people bristle because they're like, Well, is the administration getting paid?
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know, how much percentage is going to administration?
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: But here's the thing there's no sustainable business, no matter across any industry.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: There's a great TEDx talk about this, if people want to look it up, but there's no sustainable industry that doesn't have paid staff.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if I were to tell you, hey Jimmy, you're gonna run your complete business on total volunteers, they're gonna get burnt out in the space of a week.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: So if I'm trying to help domestic violence survivors out of their situations and match them with resources, how are we supposed to do that without some cost?
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right now, should people be stealing and funding their personal lifestyles out of a nonprofit?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely not.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I think that we need to switch this whole topic on its head.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I can't help the survivors that are coming to me unless the community is donating money.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: And is some of that going to go to administration?
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: Of course it has to.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_04: It has to.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_04: It has to for it to run.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_04: It's a business.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_04: So for it to run and for it to be successful, there has to be some money put back into it, right?
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_04: Like even if you look at the basic business, and I tell real estate agents this like when you you should be putting like 20% of your income back into your marketing.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_04: Like 20% should start going back into your marketing because otherwise, how do you grow?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, right.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_04: How do you grow?
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: You there's only so much quote unquote friends and family that are going, you know.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: So when I first started this, who was on my brand?
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: Friends and family, everybody wants a discount.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: Right, everyone wants the discount.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I can go cold into any business, excuse me, and and say this is what we're doing.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: And because they have an arm that distributes to nonprofits, I could walk away with a five, ten thousand dollar check.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: Now, in the beginning, who funded us, of course it was friends and family.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: Who was on my board?
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: Of course it was friends and family.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: Now they're telling their friends and family about what's happening.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: But the proof is in the pudding.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: None of our survivors have gone back to their abusers.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: We've helped hundreds of domestic violence survivors and their children, which is hundreds more humans.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and my goal setting out was if I could just help one person escape their abuser, my my job is done.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: And now looking back, we've helped hundreds of women, hundreds of children.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we can't do that without the donations coming in.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: And the other piece of a nonprofit is time, talent, and treasure.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: And again, this is in any industry, right?
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: People think like, oh, I can't support my friend's business, I don't have a check to write, or I can't really be their client, I don't need their services.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: But to any business, there's time, talent, and treasure.
• 20:46
  unknown: Right.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: If a person can give their time and help us volunteer in the community or help us with an event, um, that is helpful to a nonprofit.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: If you give of your talent, we had a hair salon that said, Hey, I want to donate a full day in this hair salon to any of your survivors.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: And then of course there's treasure.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, you can write a check to help a nonprofit.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: But at any point, you can help people by sharing their story on social media, posting about your friend's business, or by giving of your talent to them if you're a vendor and you can donate that talent.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I always like to tell people that because people try to tune out when it's like, well, I can't help this nonprofit.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: No, there's many ways to help us.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_04: Volunteer, like you said, volunteering time, right?
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_04: You can do you can there's a there's a ton of things to do.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_04: And and so how many how many survivors have you helped?
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: So at last count, it was 261.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: So domestic violence survivors.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and we do several things.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: So not every survivor needs the same exact help.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what we like to pride ourselves is that we give the specific needs that that survivor needs.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: One survivor might need to be connected to a therapist, and we have this awesome therapy group that has now is now do their care.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: They're donating their services to our survivors.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, one survivor might need a vehicle, one survivor might just need an Uber to get to safety, or a two-week hotel stay, or a rental payment for a new apartment.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um and so they might just need food on their table that night because they're escaping and they have a place to escape to, but they don't have food that night.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: So whatever it might be, that's what we provide.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: We go through a whole list of questions to make sure you're truly ready to escape though before we help you.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: The first thing we do is we make sure that you're completely safe.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: If you're not safe in that moment, whether we're going to help you in the future or not, we get you to safety if you're calling us.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: Secondly, we make a priority list of what it is that You need because again, everyone needs something different.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: And also, it's important to note that it takes an average of nine times for a domestic violence survivor to attempt escape before they actually fully escape.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so if you're in one of those nine times, we're not necessarily the wheelhouse for you.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: There are other nonprofits that serve survivors that we refer people to.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: And then one in every three women and one in every five men has reported domestic violence in their life.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: So, and that's just what goes reported.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: So, in other words, every one of us has either gone through an abusive situation or know someone in an abusive situation.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why organizations like ours are super important.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_04: And it's incredible.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_04: And that's just Metro Detroit.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's just here.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, that's you're you're not a national organization yet.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: No, not yet.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: We have been asked to start other chapters.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: And my thing is, you know, right now our donor dollars are here locally.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: So for anyone listening, it's important to note that our donor dollars are local and they are spent locally.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we've had people in other states uh reach out to us because they see us or hear about us on the news, and we do direct them to nonprofits within their communities.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, the numbers are staggering.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_04: Staggering.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_04: That I don't know that.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_04: You know, you know, that I don't know that I if you you said one and three, and I'm like, really.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: And what's what's fascinating to me is it's not so a lot of people like to relegate domestic violence to oh, that's what happens in such and such a community or such and such a society.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: This happens all across the board.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter the color of your skin, your sexual orientation, how old you are, what way you grew up in, if you're of a religious background or not, any type of religion, it happens across the board and it happens in every socioeconomic status.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of the people that we help are in Oakland County.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: Oakland County is one of the richest counties, as we all know.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_04: In the country.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: In the country.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, we we don't do a lot in Wayne County, um, which a lot of people think we would, but Wayne County has a lot of donor dollars within from the state, from the federal government, um, and a lot of those big corporations in Detroit donate back to the county.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: So we refer places like Avalon Healing Center with in Detroit uh to those folks.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: But Oakland, Macomb County is the majority of the counties we've helped.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_04: Incredible.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's incredible.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_04: And I the like again, the numbers are staggering.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, the numbers are staggering.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, I want you to share like again, you you share what you want to share, but okay, like the this the the how this came about.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_04: Like what was the moment?
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_04: What was your moment, right?
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_04: Where I I was you said, you know, somebody said you should do this, but that moment where you left mortgage and said I'm doing that.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: So this is the full truth.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: So for anyone listening who's struggling with clients that that leave them, right?
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: That was the moment for me.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_01: So my specialty in the mortgage industry was self-employed borrowers.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: I could read a tax return as good well as a CPA.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so I took a lot of classes on, you know, the underwriting guidelines for self-employed borrowers.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, I could spitball with the best underwriter about Fanny and Freddie and how to approve a self-employed borrower.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why my real estate agents that referred me loved me because I dealt with self-employed.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so I had five self-employed borrowers in one week, over$500,000 loans that all left me for the bro down the street that was offering them two to$300 less in closing costs.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: One of them was a childhood friend that ended up, we ended up breaking our friendship because she swore that I was uh it was her first time buying a home.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: And she said I was lying to her and pulling the wool over her eyes.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: And anyone who knew me in the industry knew that was the last thing I was doing.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like I would eat my own commission to help a borrower, right?
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: To get into the home.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_04: Especially a friend.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: Especially a friend.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_04: We get that messes us up every time.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: Every time.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: So in the in that week, when it was five people that I lost to the bro down the street who was, you know, giving supposedly less closing costs, I decided I was made for more.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: There was something else that I was supposed to be doing on this earth than closing homes.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: I had proved myself.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'd proved I could be successful in the industry without my family.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: So what was next for me?
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that's that was the light bulb moment is what is my purpose in this world?
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: I would prefer to make zero money, which starting a nonprofit, everyone knows you're not going to make money.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: This I didn't get into this to pad my pockets.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: I got into this to help people.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so I said, I'd rather wake up every day knowing that I'm fulfilling my purpose and creating a better world around us than um than doing this and making a ton of money.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_01: But basically, my mental health was was dead, right?
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: It was terrible.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so that was the moment.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when I sat on my deck and did that.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: It was the same week that I had helped those survivors, and it was just the slight bulb moment.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: This is what you're made for.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so now, three years later, I see that that was truly the purpose.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it doesn't matter what your faith is, I think that we're all created for something.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so whether people want to believe that or not, you are your purpose here on earth.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: There's a reason for it.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I believe firmly that this is what I was made for.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't have grown a nonprofit in three years if this wasn't what I was created for.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_04: And what when it's now it's a passion.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_04: So that's different too.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, right.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_04: That's different too.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_04: You know, they say if if you can follow your passion, right?
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_04: And it's a passion because it's you.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_04: This is your.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: I can talk to survivors on their level.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_01: So the reason survivors trust us, the reason the news trusts us, the reason I could be on a podcast like this and people can hear and you can trust me is because I went through it.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: So when I tell a survivor you're not quite ready, like we'll have survivors tell their whole story.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: I've I've listened to survivors talk for an hour.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he strangled me.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: I was in the hospital, he broke my bones, he threw me down the stairs, he did it in front of my daughter, um, he crashed, you know, he smashed my phone so I couldn't call 911.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: So they'll tell their whole story.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'll I'll say to them, okay, now that you told your story out loud and you heard yourself tell your story, and they'll be like, Jojo, I've never said that before.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: I've never told my whole story to anyone.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: Great, appreciate you trusting me.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: Now that you've told your whole story, if he comes to you tomorrow and says, I've changed, I found God, I turned a new leaf, it's a new chapter, I never I want to be better for my kids.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: Will you take him back?
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: And if a survivor tells me, Yes, I love him, of course I'll take him back.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'll do it for my kids, I'll give it another chance.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: I will literally look at them and say, We are not the nonprofit for you because I was there.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't 29.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't, it wasn't until I was 29 till I finally left my abusers.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: We live in the United States of America.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: I could have left at 18, right?
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: I could have declared independence way earlier than I did.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_01: So instead, I waited till I was ready.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: I had hit rock bottom more than one time.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: That wasn't the last, you know, that was that was the last time he beat me, but it wasn't the first time he beat me.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um I was under every type of abuse, mental, psychological, emotional.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: When we were traveling for the mortgage company, and you know, I can name names that most people in the industry would know.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, and we would travel with them on all these trips and do all these seminars, these big sales seminars and educational seminars and do our certification.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'd end up in a hall of a Ritz-Carlton or a uh uh, you know, any type of expensive restaurant or expensive hotel.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'd be in the hall sleeping on a couch, and these multimillion dollar speakers would walk across and say, Why aren't you in your suite?
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: And be like, Because my dad's punishing me.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm in my 20s.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I can look straight in a survivor's face and say, You're not ready to leave.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: And that's not easy to do, but it's very, and those people will come back for help when they're ready.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: So yes, it's a passion and it allows us to be as successful as we are because I was one of them, and I can look at them and say, I was there and now look where I am.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: And you could be the same.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_04: It's it's always we always show empathy.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, right?
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_04: We can always show empathy, and I can be empathetic to that.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, right.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_04: I can't relate to it.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_04: No, and there's a big difference in that, yeah, right?
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_04: I can be empathetic to it, but I can't relate to it, you know.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_04: And that's sometimes I struggle with people who go, I understand.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_04: You don't understand.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_04: No.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_04: Now, can you be empathetic towards it?
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_04: Sure, certainly, right?
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_04: But you don't really understand until it's until it's actually you, right?
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_04: Until it's actually you going through it, you don't understand it.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_04: That's so deep.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's actually a really good way of putting it.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, even in you in the real estate industry, right?
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like you've experienced things in this industry and you might be coaching somebody and they're like, I understand.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, no, because you didn't, you weren't in that moment, but you will, yeah, you will understand once you have that experience.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_04: You know, and there's you know, there's always the controversy about real estate agents.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_04: Should they own a home before they could be a real estate agent, right?
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, because you now you the some real estate agents haven't gone through the path of buying a house.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_04: So when they say and you're in the middle of this in your finances and you're watching all your money start getting sucked out of your bank account, right?
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_04: And then and then you're putting in$500,000 of all your savings, yeah, and you're hoping that this person and when that agent goes, I understand what they're going through.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_04: It's like you live at home with your mom and dad, you don't understand what they're going through.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_04: Your mom and dad understand.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_01: How do you coach people like that?
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's I'm that's such an interesting concept.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's the same way.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_04: It's empathy.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, like you can be empathetic towards it.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_04: Like I I I can I get where you're going.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_04: I get I I I've seen this before, I've been through a lot of these transactions, however that leads.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_04: But I can't I can't relate to it really because I haven't really felt that.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_04: Like I haven't really felt that of yeah, I'm signing this all these documents today and I'm buying a house.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you know what I mean?
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm dumping my whole life savings.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_04: Like, you know, you start, and then you start if you if you get lucky enough, like I've done a couple flips, right?
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_04: Like, so when you sign your name on that thing, like yeah, I'm signing up and I gotta say that thing's gotta be out of my hands in 90 days.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, you know, otherwise I start losing money.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and I think that's part of why I love coming on podcasts like this, is because to your point, like when you said, wow, I I didn't know that that's the these statistics are so staggering.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's why I love coming out on the media and why I love telling people my story and why I love keynoting at events and things, is because at the end of the day, my goal is not just to help survivors, my goal is to get a community, this community, to take domestic violence out from under the carpet where we've hidden it, out from the darkness and put it into the light and look at people straight in the eye and say, This is your sister, this is your mother, this is your cousin, this is the parents of the kids that your kids go to school with.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like these are people that you interact with on a daily basis.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_01: And if you think for one second that you don't know at least five people in your life that have either experienced it or are experiencing it, you're very wrong.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so trying to, you know, bring out and and the other piece is helping people tell their stories.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_01: So the president of our board just stood up at our fundraising gala in front of 300 people and said, I got out of my situation over 20 years ago.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't talk about it this publicly until three years ago when Jojo approached me to be on the board.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_01: And now I tell the story as often as I can so that people know that if I'm this successful, she owns a a financial planning firm and she has a lot of money under management.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, if I got out of that and became this successful, if I can do it, so can you.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_01: So part of our message with On the Wings of Angels is not just to help survivors, it's to help the community understand that that no one's coming to save us.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna save each other, and this is how we do it.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's incredible.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_04: And and what what was the what was your tipping point of getting out?
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_04: Like wow, great question.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_04: Because that you know, you say one of the couple things like it takes nine, it's nine times, yeah, right before somebody decides to to get out.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and then like again, it goes back to me thinking like, why'd I just leave?
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, a hundred percent.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_01: And and I'll tell the simplest answer because a lot of people have that question, and a lot of people tune out survivors because they think it's so easy to leave.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_01: What people need to understand, and this is the simplest answer to that question, is your brain becomes rewired when you're an abuse survivor.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: To this day, I am still healing from all the things I was told when I was in that abuse.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, as you know, Paul is like the most tender-hearted, like angel on earth, nicest guy, right?
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_01: Strong man, uh, defender of the right, defender of the good, defender of his family, you know, does everything that a man should be doing, right, in a relationship.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: And he could say one thing and I would lose it.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it'll be like, I, but I didn't intend it that way.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know me, you know where my motivation is.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_01: That wasn't what I was saying.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like because he said the exact words maybe that I heard growing up, yeah, that's where my brain went.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's a trigger.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's a trigger.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_01: So your brain is rewired as an abuse survivor, and they bang it in your head that there is no surviving without them.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_01: My dad kept telling me, you'll never make a success.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_01: You're not going to find a job.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: People will never believe you.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_01: You're going to end up on the street.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: So these words of uh that you are worthless and will amount to nothing without them, that's psychologically rewiring your brain to believe those words.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why a lot of people don't escape.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: They would rather have the the crumbles from their abuser than nothing at all, according to what they've said.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_01: Now, my tipping point was so I'd have been abused since I was nine.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: Nine was the first time I remember being sexually abused.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_01: Up until that point, it was a lot of physical, emotional, and verbal abuse.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_01: From nine throughout the rest of my years till my early 20s, a lot of sexual abuse happened.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then there was beatings, pulling on my hair, throwing down the stairs, um, you know, getting smacked across the face.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: It landed in the hospital more than once with the typical excuse that I fell down the stairs when there were bruises on my arms, um, had to wear long-sleeve shirts uh to school, even in the warm weather, um, because I had to hide those bruises.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, and I wasn't the only one abused.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_01: I come from a family of six kids.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the second oldest.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: So shout out to all the oldest daughters out there, the second moms of the family.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so there were three girls, three boys, and my two parents.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we went from rags to riches.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_01: We had zero dollars growing up, couldn't rub two petties together, had uh foreclosure, ended up living in the uh serious ghetto, you know, areas um in a rental, and then we started an air duct clean air duct cleaning business and then a mortgage, the mortgage company.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so we went from rags to riches in my early 20s, um, built a million and a half dollar home in Ann Arbor.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so everyone around thought we were the perfect family.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, my dad was a deacon in the church, he was a Sunday school teacher.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_01: I was raised um with a very strong faith, which by the way I still have because that wasn't God that abused me.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it was a twisted religion that my dad allowed to take over.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: And then as I was being abused in my 20s, I tried to escape more than once, tried to tell people, and no one believed me.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so no one believes you because you look like the perfect family.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_01: So at 29, um, my dad grabbed my hair, threw me on the floor in that million and a half dollar house, dragged me across his bedroom floor, and went to throw me down the stairs.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_01: And something clicked in my brain that it doesn't matter if no one believes you, you've got this.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_01: You will figure it out.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_01: Go sleep on the shelter somewhere, go sleep on friends' couches.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: Walked out of that house and never looked back.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what we've modeled on the wings of angels after.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_01: I was 29, had been beaten and bruised my whole life, and that was the moment.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_01: It was like that was my rock bottom.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_01: I left, um, started sleeping on friends' couches, uh, and then let's rewind till I was nine.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, that's when I met the love of my life, Paul.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I was nine years old.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: He I was 13, so he looked at me like a little girl.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_01: But to me, I was like, oh my God, you know, the the angels are surrounding this guy.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_01: I need to marry him.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_01: He just was wildly different than my family, had a biggest crush on him, uh, crush on him throughout all my teens.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and then he approached me to date, um, approached my dad.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_01: My dad took him on a long godfather ride and said, This will never happen.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then uh when I finally left, so like our hearts broke more than once.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: We kept getting torn apart.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: When I finally left and started sleeping on friends' couches, um, including shout out to Antoine and Camellia who took me in uh and and kept me there for a few months.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, match.com matched me with Paul as the match of the day.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_04: No way.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_04: So somebody you said you were nine, you hit on match.com.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and then we ended up back on match.com together.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_03: And we So that is God.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_01: That's God.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, when I was first, when I first opened my laptop the night I saw Paul uh as my match, I literally fell down on my knees um and started praying and crying and saying, God, there's no other way this could have happened.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_01: Now, Rewind to when we were 25, the last time we had talked.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_01: When we were I was 25, he was 29, he and I were madly and deeply in love.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_01: And we went to my dad and said, We don't need your blessing, or we don't need your permission, but we want your blessing.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_01: And my dad said, Him or us.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: If you choose him, you'll never see your mom, your siblings, or I ever again.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_01: If you choose us, you have to kick Paul out of your life.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: So at the time, I kicked Paul out of my life because I was like, This is what I know, because that's your comfort zone as a victim.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so a month after all of that breakup happened, I get a phone call from Paul when I was 25.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, I was praying and uh I ended up prostrate on the floor, and God said to me, It was the first time and the last time you ever heard the audible voice of God.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_01: And God said to me, uh, not yet, my son, not yet.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I swore at Paul, and I was like, There's no way God spoke to you and said that.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's crazy.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_01: Come rescue me.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_01: So then when we reconnected on match and our first date, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and he was like, Now do you believe me?
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_01: Not yet.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like God needed us to be the people that we were at that age and learn all the lessons we learned.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to make the decision to leave my family, not because I had a knight in shining armor, but because I was my own knight in shining armor.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, because now look at what you're building.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: And then together.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_01: And he's been part of my healing process.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, tell him all the time he's the one should be on the podcast talking about how to deal with the survivor after the go have a beer or something.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we'll talk about you off the camera with it.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, so that was like my breaking moment.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then this is why in my keynotes, this is what I always talk about.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_01: It has to be you that makes that decision.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_01: You have to jump without the net.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_01: The net will appear, and then you will find your purpose in life.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_01: No one can rescue you.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_01: You have to do it for yourself.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_01: And now look at the wild success that we had because of that pain turning into purpose.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_04: Again, overnight success.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_04: Again, overnight success.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but but wow, what I mean, just what a journey.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_04: What a journey of how again, how you started, how you got there.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_04: Then again, now then going into mortgage real estate, then getting out of that, doing this whole thing, and and uh the the match.com thing to me is just mind blowing.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't that my so so the crazy thing is um I it's a 96% match, right?
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that's like the highest match will give a match uh thing.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: And it was the match of the day.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_04: I've been married for 26 years, so I have no idea how it worked.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_01: I love you guys.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: You and your wife are awesome.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, and then we uh we so we started going out, we reconnected.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_01: Paul went to my family, tried to really reconcile, things started going well.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, and then he was gonna propose to me on Christmas Eve.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_01: And this is this is the other thing that people in business and people that are listening really need to understand is it has to be you making that full decision for the betterment of your world and your success and your business.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_01: So he went to my dad, gave, showed my parents the ring, um, said, This is I'm gonna give her this ring, I'm gonna propose on Christmas Eve.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: The day before Christmas Eve, my dad calls him and says, Now mind you, I'm 29 and Paul's in his early 30s, 33.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_01: And he calls him like we're teenagers and says, if you propose to Jojo on Christmas Eve, we will never talk to her again.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going out of town.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_01: Let's talk after the new year.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was spending the weekend, Christmas Eve and Christmas with Paul's family at their house.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I get to their house for a Christmas Eve dinner.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm all pumped.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he's the love of my life.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_01: We're spending Christmas weekend together.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_01: And he's all depressed.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I looked at him and eventually it hit me that my dad must have called him.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I said, Did my dad call you?
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_01: And he was like, Yes, this is the ultimatum he gave me.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it was then that I decided there could be no ties to my abusers ever again.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_01: It was that moment that you're just like, this is my life now.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_01: No one can touch it.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I think every business owner, every person living their life has that decision to make, that crossroads that even if I lose literally the past life and everything I've known for my whole life, this is the direction I'm moving forward.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um so we ended up eloping.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_01: We eloped on Valentine's Day 2012.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um I'm Lebanese uh Palestinian American.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so we did a big Arabic uh event in August of 20 or yeah uh 2012, same year, um, where we had 300 people come and we did a big party, you know, but we eloped on Valentine's Day because we knew it was time to start our life together without anything holding us back.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_04: And now look where you're at.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_04: On the baseball field.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_01: My kids uh, you know, now we have two kids, we've told them the story.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think that's the other thing.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_01: We hide reality of abuse from the next generation.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_01: And then they perpetuate it.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_01: Somebody has to stop the cycle.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're the one stopping the cycle, which is very difficult, then you also have to teach the next generation so they don't start the cycle up again.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_04: No, it's it's true.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_04: We do we we have that tendency, and I have two boys, right?
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_04: Mine are 22 and 15.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_04: I love that.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_04: And but we you always have that tendency to try to to we're saving them, right?
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_04: Like we're not, we're we're hiding whatever it is.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_04: We're we're trying to keep them safe.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_04: And that's I think is is another thing we try to do is try to keep them as safe as possible.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_04: Um, which uh, you know, I I always joke with my mom too.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, you didn't really know even where I was most of the time.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like But also I feel like that generation was different.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like especially now, and especially with the statistics.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_01: So to tell you, you know, we were on the baseball field the other day, and the coach of the opposing team kept now, we love our coaches um for my for my kids' team, but the coach on the opposing team kept coming out on the field and screaming at his kids and uh screaming at the players and the they're little leaguers, right?
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_01: My kids are 10 and 12, so these kids are between nine and twelve, and he's just screaming at them.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_01: And after the game, because us parents kept like pushing back to the ump and to our coaches, like this is unacceptable behavior.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_01: And to the point that I emailed the little league commissioner and told him about what happened on the field.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_01: But after the game, we were having ice cream with the kids.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, how old are they?
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_01: Uh 10 and 12.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_01: And uh Polly, my older one, looked at me and said, Mama, I bet that guy beats his wife up when he goes home.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just like such a moment for me because I was like, even at twenty and twelve, they're learning that behavior on the field translates to what it looks like at home.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_04: Because because that's that I I I do think that's very true.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_04: Because if if that's showing in public, what's happening at home.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_04: Because that's one of the things that, you know, and I've I've been coaching high school kids for 20 years.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_04: And I've most of my career was at centerline.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_04: That's and that's where I went to school.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_04: So again, economically not great.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_04: A lot of kids with no money.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_04: I was one of them.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_01: Now we're good.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_04: And I think, uh, but you know, it's again, the kids that deal with stuff at home, you know, and and you know, we talk about therapy and all this other things.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_04: And I was just talking to somebody the other day when I was in ninth grade, uh, Billy was a kid that sat next to me in algebra class.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_04: And and one day he he wasn't there.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_04: He just wasn't, he wasn't there, and his dad killed him.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, Jimmy.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_04: But like we never talked about like we're talking about.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_04: Like it was just like Billy wasn't at school no more.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, yep.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I'm saying.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_01: It was just like Billy wasn't at school no more.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yup, and and and his dad killed him.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_01: And this is, you know, and the when I love that you told this story because first of all, that's heartbreaking.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_01: And what we don't understand is this happens generation after generation after generation.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: And this is not happening in a vacuum.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_01: This guy didn't just kill his kid.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's the murder suicides that we hear out on TV all the time.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't just a mental health crisis.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_01: This is something that escalates that people let slide, um, that escalates into the murders.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_01: So when I'm whenever I'm being interviewed on TV or people are asking me questions during a keynote or on a podcast, it's always like, look at that, didn't happen in a vacuum.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_01: This guy didn't just up one day and decide he's gonna kill his kid.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: He had been beating him, he had been abusing him in some form or another.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then one day they break and then they commit the murders.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_01: And these news stories that we hear almost every day now that are heartbreaking.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_01: And imagine being a woman and waking up every day listening to the news like that.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_01: This did not happen just suddenly the guy woke up one day and decided to commit murder.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_01: No, he had been yelling at his wife.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_01: It started with the, you know, the bad talking against his wife, like, oh, she's a piece of, you know what, like all of that.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so, and then it escalates to murder.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't just happen one day.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what we need to know as a community because we can't help our each other if we don't, we're not on the lookout.
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, everyone wants to be a silo.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's none of my business.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_01: Look the other way.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_01: We don't really know what's happening.
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_01: But then I leave at 29 and all these people come to me like rushing and saying, God, we knew something was weird about your family.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_01: We knew that situation was off.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_01: Why didn't you freaking say something then?
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, why didn't you help us out?
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_01: We need to get this out of our mind that it's not our business and realize it is our business.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_01: We're here for each other.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, we are.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_04: And I but I, you know, I think that's it's important now too.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_04: Like we talk about with like with our kids now, right?
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_04: Like they're getting raised completely different.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_02: Completely different.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_04: They're in, and even with mine, like I look at my 22-year-old and my 15-year-old, they're completely being raised completely different.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you know, um, social media, yeah, right?
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_04: Like all this craziness out here with social media.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_04: How do you mo you can't monitor all of it?
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 50:14
  unknown: Right.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_04: So you have to have open dialogue with them too.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right?
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_04: Like you have to have these conversations with them.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_04: And and you know, my youngest is he's 15, so he's at that yeah, odd stage of like doesn't want to talk about stuff, you know.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_04: Like your mom's talking about that.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_04: I don't want to, I definitely don't want to hear about that.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we just had the talk with our kids because I was like, we so ever since they were born, like we call their body parts by their body parts.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_01: One of the reasons that people experience abuse is lack of education, too.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_01: An abuser doesn't want you educated on anything.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_01: So we homeschool our kids, but we don't do it in a lot of the old school way.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like we actually give them school books and there's actual school and they are very well socialized and they have a lot of sports that they play.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_01: But I was homeschooled, home churched, home business in the way of very shelteredness.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like my kids aren't sheltered.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_01: But uh growing up, being very sheltered was part of the program for my dad.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_04: That was control.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's control.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so we try to educate our kids to the best of our ability in okay, this is your body part, this is who can, you know, who no one can touch it, et cetera, et cetera.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_01: And then we gave them the talk recently because it's like, okay, they need to know as they're going out in the field or they're going out to games or traveling or whatever, this is what human behavior is good, and this is human behavior that is not okay.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_01: They need to be able to stand up for themselves.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_04: They do, they do, because it at some point they're gonna be out there.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not gonna be here forever.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_04: I would like to say that I am.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_04: I say, but I know I'm not, yeah, right.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_04: I know there's an inevitable end to this whole thing at some point.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_01: So, what's it like for you raising two boys in this environment and with all the you know, manosphere and all the things that we're seeing out there?
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and it it's you know, and I've got two blonde-haired, blue-eyed boys.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you know what I mean?
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_04: So, uh, but you know, it's just again, somebody asked me to, you know, we had this conversation a while ago about, you know, my son was really good at baseball and not he loves basketball.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_04: My other one's playing lacrosse and basketball.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_04: And nice.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_04: Um, and they're like, Well, you know, this, that, and the other.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_04: I go, I just want them to grow up to be good people.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like, literally.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_04: Like, literally, like they're like, Well, what about pro sports or this?
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, no, just good people, man.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_04: Like, if that happens, great.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_04: Like, that's the that's the bonus, right?
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_04: Like, same.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_04: But like, I just want you to be a good human being.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_04: At the end of the day, like, help people.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_04: Like be the good person.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_04: You know, if you see somebody that needs help, help them.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_04: Help them.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_04: Don't and again, it's it's it's hard.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_04: Because you do see different things happen with different kids.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_04: We're we're typically the house everybody hangs out at.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_01: Love that.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_01: I can see that with you and your wife.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we love it.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_01: You guys are awesome.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and and so it's safe.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_04: It's safe, yeah, right.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_04: But it's also like um it's expensive because they eat a lot.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, my kids are 10 and 12.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_01: I swear to God, they eat all day.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like they eat before the game, they eat after the game, they eat during the day, they have a snack, they have a big snack, they have a meal, they have five meals.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh my lord.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_04: My my youngest one just turned 15 last weekend, and we had he had his all his friends spend the night.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_04: So the next morning, yeah, we made breakfast.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_04: Well, uh, I'm like, they're like goldfish.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_04: Like whatever like we put out a quart of strawberries, gone.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_04: We put out waffles, gone, we put out ham, gone.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_04: We put out I'm like, whatever we're putting on the table is just gone.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, immediately.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I do love like the the new generation definitely eats well.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like my kids, they'll eat fruits and veggies, but they'll eat a lot of them.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_01: And those things are expensive at the store.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, I barely even go grocery shopping anymore.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_01: I have Paul do that because I'm like, I can't mentally handle that grocery bill.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, we've literally ruined my kids because like my son will go, What can we get steak again?
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, no steak.
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, hot dogs, man.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_04: Like, yeah, hot dogs, right?
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_03: We're doing kibasa and macaroni and cheese tonight.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_01: Simple, honey.
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_01: Simple, make it simple.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_01: Or they come home from their grandma's now.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_01: So Paul's mom lives across the street from us, and she is Italian, and so she cooks really, really good food.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, I pride myself on Lebanese.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_01: I cook really good food.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_01: But at the end of the day, like they'll come home, you know, Hummy, they call her Hummy.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_01: Hummy made us XYZ.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, wow, mom, like, okay, I guess I gotta live up to that now.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_04: Pork tenderloin, it's like so fancy.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_01: They text me pictures of their food.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, wow, okay.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_01: I guess yeah, you guys are getting baloney.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but we got about five minutes left.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_04: On the wings of angels.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_04: What does the rest of this year look like for you guys?
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_01: Love that.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_01: So on the wings of angels, our goal is to help at least 100 more women.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_01: A.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_01: B, we have a couple of fun fundraisers coming up.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_01: So we like to say we put the fun in fundraising.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so we have a top golf event October 1st.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, we're doing fundraising at Top Golf.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's a great way.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_01: We have great sponsors.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so whatever ticket prices people pay, excuse me, goes directly to domestic violence survivors.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_01: And then in May, which is this month, it's mental health awareness month.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_01: On May 27th, Sandra Ali from CBS Detroit is moderating a panel of therapists, uh, physical fitness folks, uh, coaches that are gonna talk to us about mental health in relation to domestic violence.
• 55:33
  SPEAKER_01: If you're a survivor, if you're currently in it, or if you're the family member or friend of a survivor, what are the mental health obstacles that you're facing right now?
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_01: We have a list of questions for the moderator to ask.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then we're gonna do audience QA.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_01: That comes with lunch at uh at uh and it's located at Chief Financial in Rochester.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um the other thing we always do around the holidays.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so one holiday we did a clothing drive.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_01: We gathered a lot of clothes for survivors and toys and gifts for their kids.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_01: So we'll I'm sure we'll do something around the holidays.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then the last thing is I do a lot of keynotes.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_01: So um the Michigan Association of Court Reporters has me coming into their fall event.
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um a hundred impact women uh has me coming in to speak for them.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_01: I do a lot of uh, you know, corporate keynotes.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_01: So if that you know people are looking for that, um that will be exciting.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then our board is always out in the community.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_01: So at the end of the day, what on the wings of angels is whole goal is to provide tangible resources, community, and support.
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're listening and you have some type of talent that you'd like to donate or you'd like to sponsor an event, that's sort of where we're at for the next few months.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and where can everybody find that information?
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_01: On the wingsofangels.org.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_01: On the wingsofangels.org, um, you can Google that or just go right to the website.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_01: And then if you're a survivor listening, I always like to say this on every one of my interviews do not feel ashamed.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_01: All applications are anonymous.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_01: There's no shame in looking for help or seeking help.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_01: If you're in a situation and you think that there's some way that we can help you or serve you, that's what we're here for.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_01: Please do not be scared to put in an application that does not go public.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it's important that people know that.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_04: And then what's the phone number?
• 57:20
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so dial.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know what?
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know the on the wings of angels number by heart.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's good.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it's I don't want to give my personal cell phone number.
• 57:29
  SPEAKER_04: No, don't do that.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_04: You got a bunch of real estate to try to call you.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_04: You got to write a mortgage.
• 57:33
  SPEAKER_04: You're about to give me back into mortgage.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_01: I can't tell you how many of those recruiting calls I still get.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so the on the wings of angels number is 248-980-0464.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_01: 248-980-0464.
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_04: And and what you guys are doing is absolutely incredible work.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you, Jim.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_04: It's obviously very well needed.
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_04: And the numbers I didn't know.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_04: Um, which are staggering numbers that I didn't know.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you for being brave enough to have this topic on a podcast like this.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, again, part of my goal is to bring it out from the darkness and into the light.
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_01: This should be a something we all talk about and help each other with.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so thanks for being brave enough to have me on and really be open about this conversation.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_04: And again, our our conversation at the uh regional rally, yeah.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_04: Right, where you were a speaker at the regional rally, too.
• 58:21
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_01: And thank you for having me there.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, have to give a huge shout out to Kim Ajimi, um, you know, who we connected through social media, through different people that we knew mutually.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_01: And like I say, like you and Kim and Kurt, like there's just a few people in the industry, like in your in your circle, that I was always like, I need to know those people.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_01: So to be like full circle in this moment with you here on this podcast, um, to, you know, and I remember when Kim was was talking to me about the regional rally and she kept talking about Jimmy, and I'm like, Jimmy, like Jimmy Nelson, Jimmy.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_01: And so um, yeah, and and just to be there and and see your EXP network, like, you know, a lot of people talk the talk, not a lot of people walk the walk.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'll tell you that.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_01: I remember that very distinctly from this industry.
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_01: But you and your crew really do walk the walk.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_01: So thanks for doing that.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, thank you.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_04: And thank you.
• 59:11
  SPEAKER_04: And thanks for coming on.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_04: And and again, keep doing what you're doing.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_04: And let's keep getting the word out.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_04: On the wingsofangels.org.org.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, everybody can find that.
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_04: Uh charity events, again, donate.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_04: Let us know when you have drives or charity events or whatever, and we can blast it out on here, and I'll get it out on the pages and do whatever else.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_04: But thank you.
• 59:31
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you guys are doing incredible work and incredible stuff.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_04: And uh, I know a lot of people appreciate obviously what you're doing, but again, keep it top of mind, right?
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_04: Keep thinking about people, and I appreciate you coming on.
• 59:43
  SPEAKER_04: So, guys, I appreciate you tuning in this week.
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_04: Come back, come back at us next week.
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_04: And uh again, every Friday morning at 7 30, and find us wherever you find podcasts.
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_04: Guys, I'll see you next week.
• 59:53
  SPEAKER_04: Have a great Friday and have a great weekend, everybody.
• 1:00:04
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