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Why High Achievers Feel Stuck in a Life They Built - with Patrick Faulkner (Part 2) · Hustle Rebels: Burnout Recovery for Over-Achievers

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: So triaging and problem solving, we are excellent at that for other people.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_02: We suck at it for ourselves.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_02: We will do our damnedest for strangers.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: And we give up on ourselves.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: So give yourself some love.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: Dedicate that same energy, that same hustle to yourself.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: Because if you want out, there are two ways out on your own or pushed out.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: Do it because you want to do it.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: I got pushed out and my timing wasn't right.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: So I spent 10 years in a tailspin and very dark days.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: Cost me a marriage, cost almost cost me my life, because I wasn't ready to get out because I wasn't preparing myself for that next adventure.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: This is Hustle Rebels, a podcast for people who know how to grind but are starting to question the cost.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Renee.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And here we talk about success, burnout, and nervous system regulation without glorifying exhaustion or sacrificing your health, relationships, or your sense of self.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: And without pretending ambition is the problem.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get into it.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Hustle Rebels.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Renee Mansfield.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is part two of my conversation with Patrick Faulkner.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: In part one, we talked about identity loss, what happens when the uniform comes off, when the role that defines you disappears, and when the habits built to survive high-pressure work just don't shut off on their own.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: In this half, we go deeper.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: We get into leadership, the difference between managers and actual leaders and mentors, how bad leaders actually accelerate burnout, and what happens when questioning authority costs you your position.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: We also talk about reinvention, how to rebuild without replacing one grind over the other, how to recognize the patterns you inherited and what it takes to redirect that drive instead of letting it run you.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get back into it.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And speaking of those things that we've trained our brain to basically unconsciously believe, I feel like that is a great segue into a lot of the reasons why we overwork ourselves, especially in really any hustling culture that is a job filled with high stress or high responsibility.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Is there anything in your own personal life that you feel like you unconsciously inherited or absorbed throughout either your career or even before that that might have led you to kind of have this overwork mentality?
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_02: So in the in the law enforcement world, and I and I'm sure it's probably similar, if not exactly the same, in the other first responders, we had roll call at the beginning of every shift.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: And at the agency that I started off at was it was a 10-hour shift to the other agency I worked for, they were 12-hour shifts.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: But I was raised in my law enforcement career that if you're on time, you're late.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: So we had to be we had to be at roll call early.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: 15 minutes was the bare minimum.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: My sergeant preferred us to be there 30 minutes early.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: Because if the previous shift that we were about to relieve was on something and then everybody was there and there were calls pending, we could just go out and start shagging calls, right?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: So then busy weekends in Metro Atlanta, it wasn't unheard of.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, it was quite commonplace for the next shift coming on to request that you stay over to help clean up the pending calls, because on Friday and Saturday night, it was nothing for us to have 15 pending calls.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: And out of those 15 pending calls, seven-ish of them, right?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_02: Almost 50% were probably high priority calls, like domestic domestics and crimes in progress and things like that.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_02: Because we were running we were running seven people a shift.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: So you know, there so there you have uh the expectation of coming early and working late.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: And then we had vacation time, but we weren't allowed to use it because only one person was allowed off a shift, and if that one person was out because of court, that still counted.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: Or training, that still counted because that was the the manpower.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: We were minus one body, so nobody else was allowed off.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: That's crazy, and then the culture within our shifts, you didn't want to take time off because you didn't want to leave the shift down a person, because that's when somebody gets hurt, that's when the cool call happens, that's when the crime and pride, that's when you get to chase the bad guy through the woods, across the creek, up the hill, tackle him.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: That's when you get to wear your cape, right?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: Or or you get in the the vehicle pursuit that was actually authorized.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like the calls you get like hyped for.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, right.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: The reason you put the uniform on to go be the hero for that shift, that's the whole pro like you could have 15 crappy shifts in a row, and then you put the uniform on the 16th time because there's the opportunity that you could actually help somebody.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_02: You could actually be involved in something that you got into police work to do, instead of the calls of telling Johnny, go clean your room because your parents said go clean your room.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_02: So now we have that expectation of coming in early, staying late, and then not taking time off because you're gonna miss something or somebody could get hurt.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: And that was quite often the guilt trip that leadership would put on is man, you're gonna leave us down.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna be down a person, right?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: And and I I don't know what's gonna happen.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's Friday night, dude, or it's Thursday.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_02: You know what happens on Thursday, it happens on Monday through Sunday as well.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_02: So it's not just inherited from when you were growing up your work ethic.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it is driven in you through expectation.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_02: So I had a father that was well, he was my hero, but he was he was very strict, he was old school.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_02: He grew up on a farm in Alabama in a one-room house, and he was he would say that they were so poor they didn't have a uh a pot to piss in or a window to toss it out of.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: So he was the first one in our family to go to college.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: You want to talk about a work ethic and a military guy.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: We were not allowed to say can't.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_02: His words were can't never could.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_02: So we had to go figure it out, or we had to keep at it, we had to keep doing it.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: So I had that stacking up growing up to create a healthy work ethic, and then you you get into the military and and it's drive, drive, drive, drive.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: There's no overtime, they own you for four years.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, 36-hour workday, sure.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_02: That was Monday.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and then you know, you you like my first two years in the military, it was Monday through Friday.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_02: It was great.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like Fridays I worked second shift.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: We'd come in at three o'clock for roll call.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: Day Watch was out working on planes, and the that was it.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_02: Day Watch was going to have everything fixed, so we got to go home.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like, we beat Day Shift home.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_02: We were drinking beer or whiskey or whatever before Day Shift got home, and that pissed them off.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: But it was great.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: My second two years, we worked 18-hour days, six days a week, and even sometimes on Sundays, right?
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_02: So sometimes seven days a week.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: When I got into law enforcement right after that, that was still in my head that you you just do what you're told.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: You do what's required, you do what's asked.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: So is it inherented?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_02: Some of it is from family, some of it is by peer pressure, and then some of it is just driven because it's exp expected.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: And especially when it comes to leadership, I've had I feel like I can feel that tension because I came from a family too where you just figured it out and you did what you were told, but at the same time, my family always they always joke because I'm the baby of the family, so I also always did my own thing, right?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: But I was always very respectful, but I did question authority.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I remember when I was in college once, my I had a friend that, you know, she was a little too drunk, so I was an RA and I was trying to sneak her up into my room.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: And somehow the RD resident director had found out, and I remember her telling me, she's like, I specifically remember this moment, and she's like, You have a problem with authority.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, no, I just have a problem with you.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: I just remember from that point on, I don't have a problem with authority, I have a problem with bad authority.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: And uh it is stuck with me ever since then because I've had, especially like the last department I was at, I never had an issue with my captain because he was a great leader, always had an issue with my chief because he was not.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so I always stuck with that.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have a problem with authority, I have a problem with bad authority, someone who shouldn't be in authority, you know.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so I will do if you are a great leader and you tell me what I should be doing, I will do it.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: And if I have a question, I'll ask you.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can explain why you're doing what you're doing, then like absolutely.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't have, I'm not gonna just blindly do something because you say I should do it.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we had one captain that said, you guys should go around and just uh knock all those windows out.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: And we're like, uh, wait, what the fuck?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: You think we have you seen backdraft?
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, like we are not going to see that.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: There's people inside of like the house.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: We are not going to do that.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: And like, thankfully, we didn't do that because as we were like fuddling around with one of the ladders, like a deputy chief came over to us and they're they're like, What are you guys doing?
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: And we're like, we're kind of wasting time because one of our captains told us to knock out this window and we're not gonna do it, but we're trying to pretend like we are.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Yeah, don't do that.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: And we're like, Okay, thanks.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad you told us not to.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, but with that said, what is your kind of definition of leadership?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know that a lot of a lot of conversations that I've been having with first responders that are burned out in the first responder world, a lot of it has to do with the fact that they are working underneath leadership that is more of just promoted managers that are really great at test taking, but not actual mentors and not actual leaders.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: And um, what would you say to people that are kind of in that predicament?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: And what would you kind of define leadership as?
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's you've pointed out there's two types of leaders.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: There's managers and there's actual leaders, mentors.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: I was fortunate that the majority of my supervision were actual mentors.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_02: So I had a fantastic lieutenant when I first got started.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: My very first lieutenant, my very first patrol sergeant were amazing people, Bobby Mormon and Richard Long.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: Rich Long was the type of sergeant that I wanted to be when I became a sergeant.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: He led from the front.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: He was out shagging calls, he was in the thick and in the trenches with his people.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_02: He wasn't supervising from the desk at the precinct with his feet up.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_02: My lieutenant was the same way.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: He would come out, he would grab pending.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_02: Now, granted, they were not high-speed pending calls, but he would still go grab calls that he could quickly close so that we could focus on what you know needed to be taken care of.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_02: In law enforcement, and I'm going to say it's probably in the military as well as the other first responders, because we're all paramilitary organizations, there is what I call promoted incompetence.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's a person who is such a pain in the keister.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: They don't know their ass from a hole in the ground, couldn't find their way out of a wet paper bag, couldn't solve a problem, can't tie their shoelaces, can't walk and chew gum, no ability to problem solve, but they can take a test, as you pointed out.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_02: They can study, they can cram, they can pass a test.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: So to make them somebody else's problem, they get promoted.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_02: Whoever the promotion committee is or the promotion board, they're the this person scored off the charts, nobody likes them.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_02: I need to get them out of my precinct.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: I promote them.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: They get to go somewhere else to make somebody else's life miserable.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: There is a sheriff, and I won't name names, in Georgia that was my lieutenant who uh was an absolute moron.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_02: Absolute moron.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: He could he called me in.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: I worked a zone that was like 25-30 minutes from the precinct.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: He called me to the precinct to grab paper off the copier to take them up to him.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: He made a traffic stop.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: No, it was a it was a an accident a private property accident investigation that he on his way to the gas station just ha in front of him happened.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: He called me over the radio and asked me, hey, what's that code section that we can arrest people for not having their driver's license, like a valid driver's license?
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like over the air.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: But he kept getting promoted because his name carried weight in the county.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_02: He had uh yeah, he was he was uh promoted in comp anyway.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_02: He ended up becoming elected as sheriff.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um and anyway, I'll digress.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_02: But so I was fortunate enough to have good leaders.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_02: I was also had the misfortune of having bad leaders, and those were managers.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: They were taskmasters that were yes men or yes women who would be given a certain set of orders and it was just regurgitation.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: Tonight, this shift, these are the things we're gonna do.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I would raise my hand and be like, hey, well, I'm sorry, we can't do that thing because that is a Fourth Amendment violation for certain people.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_02: All U.S.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_02: residents, you know.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: So I too would question, and and that is why my stripes and my dog were given away, and I wasn't invited to come back after my shoulder surgery, is because I did question bad leadership and bad directives and bad policy openly, and that chief found a way to not fire me because I had excellent employee reviews, yearly annual reviews, but it does not have you back, it does not bring me back, yeah.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_02: So, what would I say to people that are experiencing that?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: Ebbs and flows, right?
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_02: So you may currently have a bad supervisor now, a bad lieutenant, bad captain, bad chief, bad manager, whether your corporate America is still in first responders.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_02: Eventually, either you will get promoted or they will get promoted, and they will become somebody else's problem, or you will become somebody else's problem.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: And take the lessons that you're learning from the bad ones so that when you become promoted, you don't do those so same things.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: And that is that is the culture that has happened in law enforcement is supervisors, sergeants becoming lieutenant or corporals becoming sergeants.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'll take it down to the corporals, they're afraid of not being promotable.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: So they will tote the company line as a sergeant because they want to become a lieutenant.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: So when they get promoted as a lieutenant, now they have to double down because they were company Kool-Aid drinkers as a sergeant.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: Now they have to continue to be a company Kool-Aid drinker as a lieutenant to become a major or a captain, whatever the next step is for them.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_02: And now all you have is black and white, policy-driven company Kool-Aid drinkers that are not able to free think and problem solve and work within the the restraints of the SOP, because some SOPs have have gray area to give what is uh officer discretion.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot of that in in state law, no matter what state you're in, you're given officer discretion.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_02: Well, there's also managerial discretion.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: But for those company Kool-Aid drinkers, it is cut and paste, black and white, A or B, guilty or innocent, and they will use the SOP or the policy to ruin you if you become a target, if you become the squeaky wheel, if you become the the question ask.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: So abide your time, learn your policies, because that's what's going to protect you.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: Learn your policies, know them back and forth, in and out, just as you do your law book or whatever.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: Understand and know your policies, because that's what they're gonna get you on, that's what they're gonna gig you on, but also that's how they promote you is through your policies.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_02: So um bide your time, do what's asked.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: As long as it's not illegal or immoral, you should probably do part of what they're asking, if not all of it.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: So to your point, you didn't want to break out the windows, so you you were biding your time looking busy till somebody else came along and said, Wait, what are you doing?
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: And you were able to offer what was given to you as a directive, and somebody say, That's stupid, don't do that.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: So take take the knowledge of the douchebag wearing the rank.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_02: Don't become that douchebag when you get the rank.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I think.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's some great insight.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: I enjoy I really enjoy that.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: Now, thinking of someone who, such as yourself, say they have to reinvent themselves and transition into something different, i.e., they no longer want to be in the first responder realm and they have felt that identity loss, but they're still kind of in that hustle realm where they don't know how to balance that 80-hour work week, but they need to put that energy somewhere.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: What would you recommend to them?
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like where to start, even I would say it f uh first and foremost, you need to grab a piece of paper and a pen and do this old school.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_02: Write down two columns likes and loves.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_02: Make a list of the things that you like, just in general, like hiking, fishing, hunting, basketball, kayaking, reading, writing poetry, uh, uh making music, whatever it is, whatever the creativity that you love to do, put that you like to do, put that list.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_02: Next list over is love.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_02: Now, out of that list, what are the five things that you love out of that list?
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta you gotta narrow it down.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_02: So your list could be like six things, or it could be sixty things, but you gotta narrow that list of likes down to five loves.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_02: And this is coming from your heart, and you you don't do this in one day.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: This is not a this is not a sit-down and crank it out exercise.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_02: This is a reflection exercise.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: So you start your list, and over a week or so, because you're going to encounter things in a week, right?
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_02: You have your you have your week of repetition.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_02: So kids to soccer, date night with the spouse or significant other, your alone time, your workout time, whatever.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_02: So you have this week long that you have little moments, little pockets of freedom and and free time to add to your list.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_02: So you you make your list of your likes, narrow that down to your list of loves.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_02: Now, out of that list of loves, what could be a business?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: What could be a job?
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_02: What are you good at in this list of loves?
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: And then close your eyes, get on bend and knee and pray.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: Ask your God on this list, where are you driving me?
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: What am I to do next?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_02: And the hardest part is humans is listening.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: We can talk.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_02: We can talk and talk and talk and talk and talk.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: And my dad used to say, shut up.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: God gave you one mouth and two ears.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_02: So you should talk less and listen more.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: So close your eyes, open your heart, and listen.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: In your quiet time, just listen, be still.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_02: And the next step will come to you.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_02: Will it be successful?
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe not.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe that toil I love that word.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe that toil look it up.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_02: Is what is driving you to what you need to do next.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_02: You needed to be in this season of whatever that list narrowed down to and try something because you're gonna learn that wasn't the thing.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't listen.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: Or I listened, and this is catapulting me because this is an even better idea that I learned because of this.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_02: And that's what I that's what I did.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: I would springboard because I didn't listen.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I'd go all in, I would do short lists in one day, and I would pick the thing and I'd be like, okay, that's the thing.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: I'm doing that because that's cool.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_02: And it didn't work out because it wasn't what I was meant to do.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: I love the idea of being an entrepreneur.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_02: I love the idea of making and creating and being in charge of my day.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think I'm meant to be an entrepreneur.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_02: I think I'm I'm meant to help uh entrepreneurs find and do their thing.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um that's what I would say to do is make those two lists, your likes and then your loves, and then pray about this list of loves.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_02: What out of this should I be doing next?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't have to be create a business.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_02: It could be go find a business.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_02: As first responders, we are, and it doesn't matter which one of those career fields, we are excellent problem solvers.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: There is a life or death issue, whether it is bringing a body back to life because they are dead or preventing them from dying, so you're springing into action.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_02: There is a burning structure or a car on fire, and you are problem solving to either save a life or save the property of someone, or there is a a violent scenario that you're having to problem solve to save lives, whether it's a crime in progress, or you're the first officer on a scene and now you have to figure out what the happened and what needs to happen.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_02: So triaging and problem solving, we are excellent at that for other people.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_02: And we suck at it for ourselves.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_02: We will do our damnedest for strangers, and we give up on ourselves.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_02: So give yourself some love.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_02: Dedicate that same energy, that same hustle to yourself because if you want out, there are two ways out either on your own or pushed out.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: Do it because you want to do it.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_02: I got pushed out and my timing wasn't right.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: So I spent 10 years in a tailspin and very dark days, cost me a marriage, cost almost cost me my life, because I wasn't ready to get out because I wasn't preparing myself for that next that next adventure.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_02: So if you're teetering with the idea of the next chapter, start writing the outline.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like that's a that's a great recap too.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: And one thing I think is really important for us as first responders to remember is that as we do identity shifts, if you're in that predicament, is that we have to, like you said, give ourselves a lot of love.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: But we're so used to instant gratification in this realm because it is like, you know, you have a criminal that you're chasing and then you got him, and then you know, you do that's like instant gratification, or you have a structure fire and you put water on it, it's out.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you have someone that's in cardiac arrest and you treat them and potentially they wake up, you know, it's that instant gratification and re-identifying yourself, reinventing yourself, or completely doing even just becoming an entrepreneur, it never happens overnight.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so all of those things take a lot of time.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I've actually been, as I'm transitioning myself, I've started taking these ADHD courses, and it has been mind-blowing how they've introduced things as version one, version two, version three, and a lot of the times he actually introduces it as he used to work for the guy hat made it, introduces things through how Elon Musk has done like rocket ships and stuff.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: They don't do a lot of research, they just full-blown, full send, just kind of do shit, right?
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: They know things are going to explode, they know that the first version is going to fail.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: So make your list, do the first thing that comes to mind, try it out.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: Don't do a ton of research, full send, and if it fails, then expect it to fail and be like, all right, version one didn't work.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: What did I like about it?
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: Take that, go to version two.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: What did version two could be like I didn't like about that?
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: Take what you did, go to version three, you know.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that's all about the reinventation of yourself and you know, moving on with your life and not getting stuck in those darkest of places.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, so that helps you prevent paralysis by analysis.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: Right, I love that.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_02: You have to move the needle, you actually have to take action to your point.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_02: Version one is not going to be the final version.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_02: Look at Shark Tank, go spend an afternoon, watch two or three episodes of Shark Tank.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_02: Every single one of those entrepreneurs are pitching version six or version 12 of their idea.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_02: Or 700.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_02: Or 700, yeah, because the first ones didn't work and it's not going to.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love that.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: Great.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: If someone is still listening and still working the hours, still even wearing the uniform and telling themselves, well, this is just how it is, this is how it's always going to be.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want them to hear before we wrap up?
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_02: If you are happy and you are comfortable, you're doing God's work.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_02: Keep doing it.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_02: We need people as first responders in the front lines, toting the line.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_02: Not everybody is meant to be a business owner.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_02: Not everybody is meant to be in corporate America.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_02: There are some people meant to wear polyester their entire career.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_02: I worked with some fantastic people, wonderful heroes, that wore polyester for 30 plus years.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_02: And they were they were great at it.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_02: They carried a lot of knowledge, they helped shape dozens and hundreds of young minds into great first responders.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_02: And it doesn't matter what uniform or what badge you were wearing, there are those dinosaurs, the old timers as I called them, and we need to have them.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_02: So if you are comfortable doing that, and that is where God is calling you to be, continue to do it.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_02: Don't jump just because there's a shiny thing and somebody says you can make a million dollars.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_02: The likelihood of that happening is not very high.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: So if you love and you have passion for what you're doing, keep at it.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_02: If you don't, however, comma life is too short to work.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_02: And this is advice from my grandfather.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_02: As soon as your job becomes work, because you have to work to get the uniform on, you have to work to get in the car, you have to work to drive to the precinct or the firehouse or the station house, and you have to work while you are in the uniform, and then you have to force yourself from work home to do it all over again the next shift.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_02: It's time for a different job.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_02: Don't stay there because it's easy.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's not, it's killing you.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's killing your family, it's it's slowly eating you up from the inside.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_02: Find a transition.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_02: I'm happy to be a sounding board if anybody wants to reach out to me.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_02: But if you love it and you have passion, stay.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_02: If you don't, it's the wrong career not to have a passion for it.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_02: And you could have had the passion when you started.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_02: You really could have.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_02: And then you're no longer naive to whatever it is.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_02: Whether you know that agency, that department is full of bad leadership.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_02: You can change, you can go to a different agency or a different department.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_02: Grass isn't always greener.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes you have to look at what's under the grass, could be a septic tank.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_02: You have to love what you're doing.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_02: Have passion for what you're doing.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_02: That's I guess my final word.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: And we also need leaders to rise up, too.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's also the biggest thing.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: So if you do have that passion, remember that you could also be the change.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_02: Indeed.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, 100%.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: Speaking of reaching out to you, how can people find you?
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that you also have your own podcast, so how can people reach out to you and find you?
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_02: I thought you would never ask.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so yes, I alluded to it earlier on.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_02: I do have a podcast.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_02: It's called The Knock and Talk Show.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_02: And it is about the funny stories that uh first responders and military folk encounter while they're on duty, the things that Hollywood can't make up.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_02: But it also is a way to use levity as a coping mechanism for our very dark career fields.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes we have to remember that we can laugh and have fun and enjoy work and that it's not always dark.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's dark a lot, so which is why we need the levity as the coping mechanism.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_02: So I started the podcast with some friends one afternoon sitting on my back deck with two fingers of a good bourbon and a cigar, and we were telling old fish stories, right?
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_02: So, do you remember when so-and-so did this and we chased that guy, and this accident happened, and yada yada.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I feel like there's a podcast here.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_02: And then the conversation shifted, and and we were reminiscing on on two guys that had just recently passed away, old timers, that within six months to a year of them retiring, they passed away.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_02: And all those stories they took with them to the grave.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I felt like I said to my friends, I was like, you know, a lot of stories just died too.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like 60 plus years of stories just went to the grave.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_02: We need a way to save them.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like there's a podcast here.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_02: And these two old timers I was with were like, what the hell is a podcast?
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_02: What are you talking about?
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, honestly, I had never listened to a podcast.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: I had no idea about podcasts other than it was people talking about things and people listening to those people talking about things.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_02: So fast forward, I started a podcast.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_02: I've got like 39 episodes.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_02: I've taken a two-plus year hiatus because of some personal things.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_02: I went through a divorce a couple years ago.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_02: I lost my my studio space.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_02: I lost sort of the will to do it, but you're forcing me to do it again by me being on this, on this, um, not forcing me, helping me pick it back up again.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, rekindling the podcast.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_02: So the knock and talk show, you can find it on YouTube.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um uh you can find an Apple Podcast.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_02: It's got a uh a LinkedIn page, type in knock and talk show.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_02: There is a a I don't want to use imposter, but there was a second knock and talk show that started at the same time that I did.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if they're still doing it either, but it was a husband-wife combo, I think, in Ohio.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_02: Super great people.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_02: Theirs was more like roll call training, that was what their platform was used for.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_02: Uh again, great people.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_02: I was on their show.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_02: So check out both, but mine is the OG.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_02: You can also find me on LinkedIn.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_02: I'm on Facebook, but I don't ever use Facebook.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_02: The Knock and Talk Show has a uh an Instagram page as well.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_02: But most of my social time is spent on LinkedIn.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_02: So look up Charles Patrick Faulkner.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_02: That's how I keep the spam people away.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, is I use my first name, I go by Patrick's my middle name.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_02: So if anybody like says, hey Charles, does your company need this?
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_02: I know it's spam because nobody calls me Charles.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_02: So that's yeah, so there you go.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_02: I also have a small business, uh, the Faulkner Endeavor Group.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_02: You can look up FE Group, that's Foxhot Echo Group, on LinkedIn uh or FE Group.io on the interwebs.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_02: And I help small businesses get started.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: Great.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: Was there anything else that you want to add?
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, but we would need a whole nother show.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that's I think that's all I have for today, ladies and gentlemen.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: Patrick, I really appreciate you being here.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, thank you for having me.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_00: Pop in the chair of the guests for the Hustle Rebels and having this conversation.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: For anyone who does want to check out Patrick and his work and his podcast and his LinkedIn profile, you're gonna be able to find them in the show notes for all of those links.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: And um, if this episode did resonate, you can follow the podcast and share it with anyone who needs to hear it, especially those as first responders.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: With that said, you guys feel free to have a great rest of your week.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_02: Stay safe, everyone.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for having me.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.