Transcript

Hide & Tweak · The Danger Zoo

0:03
Password accepted. Welcome to the Danger Zoo.
0:08
Welcome to the department of anomalous and non human genetic
0:12
entities, reconnaissance and zoological occult operations.
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I am Coyote the game warden here with my girls.
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Aw. Baby bird, you haven't been here
0:22
in a hot minute, girlfriend. The last time we left Hazy, they
0:27
split up. Hazy got pee thrown in his face.
0:30
What? Yeah, he was.
0:32
He was peeping in windows. It's not even a long story.
0:37
He's peeping over there, thought he went into a bar and the doors
0:41
locked on him. Hazy.
0:42
You actually hear this behind you that the doors slam shut and
0:45
lock and you don't see grandpa anywhere.
0:50
Mission start. You hear 2 distinct things.
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Hazy first, through the window where the P came at you, you
1:00
hear somebody tied up and struggling like they've been
1:05
gagged. Baby bird, what does that sound
1:07
like? Yep, sounds like a good time
1:19
there. And the second thing you hear is
1:22
you hear a police officer on his radio to the northwest of you
1:27
talking on it, talking about looking for a suspect in a black
1:31
hoodie. I'm a suspect in a black hoodie.
1:36
You are indeed a suspect in a black hoodie and you see the
1:38
German man walk out of his store up north of you and he slowly
1:44
makes his way West and he's not looking at you but you can see
1:47
that he's like looking at you through his peripherals.
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OK, then I'm going too quickly jump over this fence and, you
2:00
know, try to hide to the northeast of me.
2:04
What? What am I rolling for?
2:07
Just an athletics check. So take whatever your stat is,
2:09
add it to that and let me know the number.
2:12
Oh motherfucker, 17. Nice.
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But you, you clear this thing easily.
2:20
You just jump up, you do the full splits just right across
2:23
it, and you land on your feet and you go hide behind the stump
2:27
there. And you still hear the police
2:32
officer saying something. And here's the German in the
2:35
northwest talk about because I don't know where he went.
2:38
I saw he was in my store. He had two friends.
2:40
The friends were fine, but the other guy, I'm pretty sure I've
2:42
seen him in a poster somewhere, so you should be looking for
2:46
him. You hear that and you hear where
2:50
you heard muffling earlier. You start hearing someone just
2:54
beating the dog shit out of somebody just push shut up.
3:01
And then you hear like accepting being sprinkled like someone's
3:05
throwing like small little pebbles of something, like
3:08
they're throwing sand or something.
3:10
Really descriptive. That's all that's happening.
3:14
All right, well, I'm going to peek into the window right to my
3:17
north. Or is it my turn stuff?
3:21
You're the only one here, OK? I guess I'm going to jump the
3:25
fence to the east and kind of make my way back down to that
3:29
house that I was first at. Give me athletics throw for the
3:35
jump in the fence again. Oh geez, a fucking course.
3:40
This time I get a four. You got to jump this thing and
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you get stuck in it, you get hung up and you make a lot of
3:47
noise. Yep, classic hazy.
3:49
You hear the police officer to the northwest talk about
3:52
investigating the noise, and you hear footsteps.
3:55
Closer, baby bird. Yeah.
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Are you trying to escape of some sort or what's what's going on
4:02
with you? I I am trying to get this
4:06
blindfold off my face go. Ahead and give me a sleight of
4:10
hand because the gentleman that's in the room with you, he
4:13
also hears the police officer coming and he runs out of the
4:17
room that he's in with you and he's checking out the front
4:19
door. What sleight of hand under
4:24
dexterity? Yes.
4:28
God damn that's a plus. That's a + 5.
4:32
Oh, even better. NET 20, I don't even need that.
4:36
Oh yeah. Dude.
4:39
Anyways, not only do you get the blindfold off, you actually do
4:43
the whole cartoon thing where you take your hands out of the
4:45
ropes and then you remove the blindfold and then you put your
4:47
hands back in the ropes and then you realize, wait a minute.
4:53
The sucker in sucked ass. Too slick for your own good?
4:58
Now what would you like to do? Who me?
5:02
Yeah, you, you also, you hear somebody falling through a fence
5:06
in the Northeast. Is there a window near me?
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There's a door to the east and there is a window into the
5:17
house, not outside the house. I'm going to lean my ear up
5:22
against the door. Wait, is he in the room with me?
5:27
No, he left the. Room.
5:28
Oh, OK. He's in the the north part of
5:30
this house. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm
5:33
going to lean my, my, my little ears up against the door then.
5:38
The baby ears and then. What do I hear, Daddy?
5:47
You don't hear anything. The guy in the text room has
5:50
also leaned up against the door listening for stuff.
5:56
I just hear heavy breathing. Mexican standoff.
5:59
AZ you go ahead and try and get out of there.
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That police officer is walking around slowly.
6:05
He's just surveying the area. Get out of the fucking fence,
6:07
will you? So that would be a what's slide
6:11
up, not slide a hand, what was? That do a sneak.
6:13
A sneak. Oh, something I'm actually
6:15
fucking good at. Let's go.
6:17
You're good at side of hand. That's also dex.
6:19
You just hold a fucking 2. Not 20 with a four, so 24.
6:25
Oh hell yeah. Do you want to describe how you
6:28
escape to the South away from the cop, or do you want me to do
6:31
it? Ninja vanish without trace and I
6:34
kind of like smoke bomb up here right next to myself.
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Yeah, you just throw like a fentanyl bomb, poof, and you're
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gone. All right, Well, you've you've
6:46
gone S around the building that baby bird is currently in.
6:51
You don't know he's in there, though.
6:53
Don't medigame. But you did hear noises from
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here, so you're by the front door.
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What do you want to do? Well, I'm going to check that
7:00
door just like for once, you know, just take it easy and just
7:06
check the the knob. I don't know what's going on
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with the guy that's in this fucking place, but you like just
7:12
open the door. It's not even like fully closed
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just and you just see baby bird with his face up against the
7:17
other door listening. I'm going to go put my ear right
7:23
next to him and listen as well, see if I can add on to this.
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OK, All right, so you go over to him.
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Well, I'm. Going to, I'm going to look
7:34
through the window while he's doing that, I'm going to look
7:35
through the window and just like start breathing heavily with my
7:38
eyes, you know? OK, what's your stat for
7:41
perception? It does not even matter.
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You actually zero. You got a Nat 20, you walked up
7:49
to it, you actually go to look in and then you realize the
7:51
windows open. I saw so well I noticed there
7:56
was no window at all. You look in here and you see
8:00
this cracked out looking dude, like shaved head and he's got,
8:05
you know, the typical homeless man kind of look.
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He's got a couple shirts and a couple jackets on and he's just
8:11
pupils huge and he is just tweaking, like he's trying to
8:15
listen to the door but he's also just leaning on the door and
8:18
it's going because he can't stand still long enough.
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So baby bird. Oh, what?
8:25
Hey man, would you get in here? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to
8:30
scare. Guess I should have wrote a
8:32
perception role for. Him Hey, so they're looking for
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me in the, you know, these wanted posters.
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I feel like I need to put my hoodie on this guy right here
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and just kind of kick him out the fucking door.
8:45
Yeah, that's a good idea. Why don't, I mean, we could just
8:49
leave. How'd you get in here?
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Oh wow, this door right next to me kind of easily open.
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Points to the open door next to you.
9:01
Man, I don't know how I missed that.
9:03
Yeah, let's get this drug abuser and user out of here.
9:07
But you're going to go after this dude?
9:09
Fuck yeah, we both bomb rush his ass, all right?
9:13
No, no, no, don't. Officer needs to stay.
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So so you guys go to open this door let's see if that door is
9:19
closed No, that door, you guys slowly open it right?
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Both you give me a stealth roll here.
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See if you can sneak up on this guy. 16 Oh God.
9:35
That's a + 8. That's I got a + 5.
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There's an 8 I'm I'm still tied up.
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So hazy you actually sneak through the window and you
9:44
slither on your belly underneath the table.
9:47
Nobody even notice you, baby bird.
9:48
You fall into the door and this guy turns around.
9:52
He looks at you and he's just like, how'd you get in?
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And then he goes to you. Just lock the door.
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He goes to escape and he goes and jumps through the back
10:03
window and he makes it out and then you hear knocking at the
10:06
front door. Oh Kelly police.
10:15
Hell, the county police open up. Yeah, fuck that.
10:18
I'm I'm following the dude out the window.
10:20
I'm jumping all. Right, you get out of here.
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I'm going to call him for help and pretend I don't know what's
10:25
going on. Hell yeah, sounds like a plan.
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You deal with the cop. OK.
10:30
Cops love me and my mustache. Hazy.
10:33
Give me an athletic swirl to get out of here. 16.
10:38
Good enough for government work. You jump through the window, and
10:41
as soon as you jump through the window, you see the little
10:44
crackhead like running up, crawling up into this tree, into
10:48
its branches. Oh, perfect.
10:50
What the fuck? Baby bird, what are you doing?
10:54
Help. Oh God help me.
10:57
No. Officer kicks the door in, guns
11:02
drawn. He sees you.
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He's like, who's in the house? Who's in the fucking?
11:09
House. I don't know, I'm tied up and
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I'm a boater. I can't do anything about it.
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Help me with it. I'm going to exit stage right
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very slowly. Hazy you slide out there, baby
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bird, you see the cop turn his body Cam off.
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I was just kidding. Hold up.
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All right, well, that's why he's turning the thing off.
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He's still looking around. He hasn't interacted with you,
11:37
baby bird, but he sees that like, you're still tied up
11:39
because I guess you put the ropes back on.
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Hazy. You get over to the tree, you
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see a familiar face. It's Eddie, brain dead.
11:47
Ed. He just looks down at you and
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he's like Hazy. What are you doing here?
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Yeah, I'm going to grab my Gatling gun and just like, shoot
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right at him and pull him out of that fucking tree.
12:00
Yeah, that's cool. What does that?
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What does that do? Go ahead and fire.
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So stealing. Would I be stealing him?
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I mean, you restrain him. It's two points to it.
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Oh, 13. Good enough you fucking hit him
12:15
square in the face. Nice.
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You knock him out of the tree and he is on his back on the
12:21
other side, but it doesn't restrain him.
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You just hit him square in the face.
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He's not unconscious, but he is ledazed.
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Cop starts clearing this house. He steps over baby bird into the
12:34
next room. Keep an eye on you.
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He comes out here hazy. Make a saving throw real quick.
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A Stealth 1. Nice size of stealth. 18 Oh
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yeah. You see the cop go through the
12:47
door and he just, you just hide North.
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Cop doesn't seen Eddie either. Eddie's on the other side of the
12:54
tree, but this cop sees everything's clear here.
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He comes and shuts the back door.
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Oh, can I throw a knife at Eddie real quick and just like, give
13:02
him to make some noise? No, wait, hold on.
13:08
Let me see. Let me see.
13:09
Let me see. Let me see.
13:12
Yeah, go ahead. Thanks.
13:13
Fucking throw a knife at him. Do you have a knife on you?
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Fuck, I hope so. God damn it, I got a flare.
13:20
I'm not shooting a flare. Oh, I got that zombie lumber
13:23
accent that doesn't do shit. I'm just going to throw it at
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him. Throw an axe at Eddie.
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All right, throw that axe. How would I throw it?
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It's. Going to be an athletics throw.
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It sounds like I throw it 15 feet.
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Yeah, you could hit him with it, but you got to, you got to make
13:36
a it's a melee attack. But no, it it's going to be
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athletics because you're throwing something, OK?
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O21, let's go, let's go. You hit, you hit Eddie and he
13:50
just started screaming. Fuck the cop comes busting out
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the door. And I'm going to sneak up the
13:58
front, you know, north side of the building while he's doing
14:01
that. Give me a stealth roll.
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Oh shit, 23 I'm I'm gravy train. Gravy train shit.
14:11
Dude, you, you make it up north, around to the front and you go.
14:14
Are you going back into the building to help Baby Bird?
14:16
Sure, let's do that, divey. Bird, you start untying, start
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untying him. The cop, he gets to Eddie, he
14:26
sees that there is an axe thrown at Eddie.
14:29
Eddie is unconscious, but the cop has now drawn his weapon
14:33
again. And he starts looking around
14:34
because he knows there's somebody else here, because
14:36
somebody threw a fucking axe at this guy.
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No, he's just really clumsy. He fell on it, no.
14:41
This cop's not dumb. So cop is going to start
14:44
circling the house. What are you guys doing?
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All right is. Baby bird still tied.
14:49
He's not he's, he's that, he's that tied.
14:52
He just got him on. OK, OK.
14:56
So I say I'm going to bounce off this bed and jump through this
15:00
window on the north side like a peel, since apparently I'm on a
15:04
streak. OK, let's see.
15:09
So just straight athletics again, what's your.
15:11
Charisma. Oh, charisma.
15:14
Something I have lost instead of 1.
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OK, so make an athletics throw to jump through that window.
15:25
Fuck, is that 90? Yeah, you got to jump on this
15:29
bed and you slide and you fall, but you fall off of the bed.
15:34
But you are in luck because as you do that, you see the officer
15:39
walk right by the window. He starts peeking in and only
15:42
sees his baby bird still just sitting there and he keeps
15:44
walking around the house. I meant to do that.
15:49
Baby bird, what are you doing? I've got to.
15:53
Follow behind him and jump out. He didn't jump out.
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Oh, I thought he was. He tried to I.
16:01
Tried to spell, he ate shit. It was my.
16:04
Intention. Oh.
16:06
OK, I'm going to lead the way. Let's go.
16:09
Wait. Athletics, right?
16:11
Yep. 16 Oh, you son. Of a bitch, what's your charisma
16:17
0? Doesn't matter.
16:19
You rolled A gnat fucking 20. You go to jump through here, you
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bust through here, but as soon as you breakthrough the glass,
16:26
the cop is right there and you just knock him down unconscious.
16:30
He hits. Bad day to be a piggy I.
16:34
Stand up and I'm like, you should have helped me out with
16:37
that. All right, Hazy.
16:40
What are you doing? I'm going.
16:42
To get off this building, and I guess I'm going to go take care
16:47
of that fucking Wienerschnitzel schnitz over there in the
16:49
fucking north side. I'm going to run towards him.
16:52
Do I see him from here? No, he's not there anymore.
16:56
He's walked off. Oh, OK.
16:59
Well, I guess I want to go over there to the West, where I guess
17:05
is that a well. It's going to go to the West
17:09
where there's, you mean N into the West.
17:12
No is. What the hell is that?
17:14
Like Black Square to our West. Looks like a building, that one.
17:21
OK, I guess. Is it an outhouse?
17:23
What the fuck? Is it a shed?
17:27
You can't really tell from the outside.
17:29
Fuck it going towards that. All right, you head over there.
17:33
You want to check the door. Sure.
17:36
All right. What's?
17:36
Your charisma. It's not one.
17:40
Oh yeah. You got to try to open this use
17:42
here someone occupied. Someone's in here, baby bird.
17:48
I'm out of ideas. We're going to bust open that
17:54
door. Do you want me to slap a grenade
17:56
on it? Oh.
17:57
He said the magic word. I'm going to kick open that
17:59
door. OK, you got to kick out the
18:03
door, baby bird. Are you staying right there?
18:06
I'm going to back him up. I'm going to stand.
18:10
Oh, actually, I'm going to peek through this window in the
18:12
building in front of him. Oh, OK.
18:14
Actually, so baby, when you go to move there, Eddie, the
18:17
crackhead who's still bleeding, jumps through the window.
18:20
You see the cops starting to sit up and wake up and they both
18:23
collide head on and they're both knocked out again right on top
18:27
of each other there. Are they are they laying down 69
18:30
style like that? They are.
18:32
Indeed, baby bird, you go over to this window and you can't see
18:37
anything inside because there's metal shutters on the other side
18:40
of this glass. Metal shutters on the inside not
18:45
conspicuous. At all curious.
18:48
Can I? Kick open the door now.
18:50
Yeah, go for. It fuck.
18:51
Yeah. Was that strength?
18:55
Yep. Hell yeah. 13 Yeah, you kick
19:00
open. The door and there's just
19:02
somebody in there like what the fuck is wrong with you?
19:04
And he slams his door back on you, and he's just here.
19:09
Might be well I guess I want to go to the West of me and just
19:13
look to this window. OK, you go to the West, same
19:17
thing. There's metal shutters on the
19:19
other side. Well, this building's no fun,
19:22
yeah. Well, you're just looking
19:24
around. You're just looking through
19:26
Windows, just like going into things and investigating that
19:30
is. How I got pee on me?
19:33
Look at the windows. That's how you got pee on you.
19:35
I said go into things and investigate.
19:38
Check that front door. Oh.
19:40
The front door to the north of you.
19:42
Yes, Sir. Yeah.
19:44
You go to try to jiggle the handle and this thing doesn't
19:47
even budget. Like you put your body weight
19:49
into it and nothing's moving it. This is my sign.
19:55
It is your sign for what C? Four, baby.
19:59
Oh, I'm going. To back up, I know this is
20:03
headache. I'm going to back up.
20:04
I'm going to play C. 4 on the hinges.
20:07
We will blow this fucker off, OK?
20:10
Hey, Z, back up to the other side of the outhouse that the
20:12
one gentleman is still shitting in.
20:14
I remind all of you, I'm going to.
20:16
Tap on the wall and be like brace yourself.
20:20
I am all right, baby bird like that Fuse 18 just an explosion,
20:30
rocks of town ground shaking. Both of you are behind the
20:36
Portage on and you both peek around and you see that the wood
20:44
or what looks like wood of the door and the walls and the
20:47
glass. The glass is shattered, but the
20:49
metal is still on the inside and all the wood on the outside is
20:52
only scorched. Whoa, that is a sturdy.
20:56
Door. Is there an entrance to a
20:58
basement I see? Good eye, yes.
21:02
There is holy. Testicle Tuesday's Batman, I'm
21:06
going to go check. Those doors, since everybody's
21:08
knocked out and that dude's like indisposed in there.
21:10
It stinks back here. I'm going to follow him, but on
21:15
the way I'm going to punch both of them in the head just to
21:17
knock them back out. Just to make sure.
21:21
OK, let's see how it goes for you.
21:23
You hit the crackhead. Oh, no, you hit the crackhead.
21:26
He gets knocked back and he actually hits the officer and
21:29
the officer wakes up. The officer throws the crackhead
21:32
off him and he sits up. You're welcome.
21:34
Officer, I just saved your life. You saw it, officers.
21:37
Like collecting himself. You guys need to get the fuck
21:39
out of here before he realizes what's going on.
21:42
Peace. Say no more.
21:44
I'm out. Hey, he's running.
21:45
North, check that door, big bird.
21:49
Give me, what's your charisma stat?
21:52
Zero. Nice.
21:53
Oh yeah, you're just like beating on the door.
21:56
The door's not opening. Hazy.
21:57
You want to help him out there with my one.
21:59
Let's go. All right, both of you just
22:03
beating on this door and the officer looks over at you and
22:07
you you hear him grab his radio and he says suspect spotted
22:11
son's in the middle of town. Oh no, he's called for backup.
22:17
What you going? To do, what are you guys going
22:18
to do? I don't know why you.
22:22
Went to punch the fucking officer.
22:23
I would have left that I didn't punch.
22:24
The officer you. Did you went to punch both of
22:27
them? Yeah, I mean, but I didn't get
22:29
to the officer. I didn't get a chance.
22:32
Yeah, that's the. Problem.
22:34
All right, I'm going to. Run north and head W around the
22:38
building all. Right, go towards that.
22:41
Building to the West, the northwest of it, all right.
22:44
Do you want to do stealth roll? Try and get away?
22:47
Fuck yeah, baby bird. Would you like to follow him?
22:51
Yeah. All right.
22:52
Both of you give me some stealth rolls, is my.
22:54
Person that I'm going against flat footed 14.
22:59
No, you is damaged. No.
23:02
Flat footed is like if you're trying to attack somebody.
23:04
Yeah, I just thought flat footed is like if you were trying to
23:06
ambush somebody, they don't know what's going on.
23:09
It would be like a minus. Two to whatever that heals type
23:12
thing, I got you. Baby bird, what was your score?
23:16
14 Oh, I got a. Dirty 20.
23:19
Both of you come around the corner in disappearance tonight.
23:22
Where are you going to hide from this guy?
23:23
Because he's about to. Was it 510502030 feet?
23:27
He is about to round the corner. Where did you disappear to?
23:30
Gentlemen jumping. In that water bucket, Yeah.
23:34
Is it? Wait, is that a?
23:35
Well, that is a. Well, gentlemen.
23:37
Oh, how deep is that? Well, you going to find out?
23:41
Fuck, we guessed. I had no choice jumping in that,
23:43
well, let's go. No athletics needed.
23:47
I'm just going to go face first, right into it.
23:50
Very. Slowly.
23:53
Both you were in the well. Let's see.
23:55
OK, you're both in the well, but both of you take two points of
23:59
damage because you didn't realize how cold the water was
24:01
going to be, so you guys got a little bit shocked from it.
24:05
Took two points from shock. It's crazy you're in the middle
24:09
of. Georgia and this is freezing
24:10
cold water and it's not winter time, so let me adjust that for
24:15
you. Hazy you are now at 14, Baby
24:18
bird, you are now at 18. Rough.
24:23
The cop comes around. He starts looking around.
24:27
He doesn't see anything. He doesn't see you guys.
24:29
So he goes N he starts knocking on the building.
24:33
Nobody's answering. He goes West.
24:37
He's knocking on the building over there, to that, to the
24:40
building all the way to the West of town.
24:42
He doesn't hear anything. He starts to go South, but all
24:44
of a sudden a window gets smashed in next to him and he
24:47
just gets yanked into the building.
24:48
What was that? That's a good question.
24:55
Why is this cop? After you.
24:58
I don't know man, fucking haters you lying ass.
25:02
Bitch. So I'm going to, you know, grab
25:08
a hold of baby bird and shoot my grappling hook.
25:11
Kill us out as well, right? Yeah, fuck it.
25:14
I feel like a. Princess.
25:19
Oh, come on now. Do it.
25:21
Do it. Do the.
25:23
Do the roar there you. Go, Oh my God, there's a. 50 No,
25:30
you go to shoot but you accidentally hit the top of the
25:33
well and the pail drops and it hits you for all two points of
25:39
damage. Jesus.
25:41
Just. Whack that thing, just mash you
25:43
in the face. Hazy.
25:45
You're now at 12 HP all. Right baby bird, your turn.
25:49
Wait, do I have a? Grappling hook.
25:52
You don't. Wait.
25:55
I'm. Going to slow cry while I'm
25:57
reeling my grappling hook back up.
26:02
I can I can still use my web stuff right?
26:06
Oh, you can do. Anything, man, I believe in you.
26:11
I open my mouth and aim up at the edge of the well and I go.
26:22
Oh God. Oh yeah.
26:25
It just that thing, just in case it shoots up and then you just
26:29
start. I've wrap my.
26:30
Arms and legs around him. So you're wrapped up hazy and
26:37
you're just got this webbing, so your hands and your feet are
26:40
occupied and you're just going. Sucking the walk back into a
26:44
person, I'll be like EW, EW, I'm I'm good.
26:48
Leave you back in the well. You have no choice.
26:50
You're sitting there crying while he's taking you out there.
26:54
You're both out of the fucking well feel so.
26:58
Violated. It could be worse.
27:03
And then when we. Get out of the well.
27:05
I got to take up the slack. Oh.
27:11
God take away if you use your weapon like that and you suck it
27:14
back up you still get your your whole 4 uses.
27:20
Oh hell yeah. Just.
27:22
So you're aware Hazy Baby Bird wasn't here for this portion?
27:25
He was sent ahead of us to scout this area out, so I mean, you
27:29
can try and find out why he was tied up or you can explain to
27:32
him what's happened. Yeah, I feel like both of us are
27:36
just going to, you know, just fly by the seat of our pants.
27:40
Let's just figure it out as we go.
27:42
Yeah, crazy shit happens all the time, man.
27:45
Yeah, you've been doing great jobs so far.
27:48
Well, I'm going to go back to the basics because apparently
27:51
the changing it up didn't work. I'm going to ruin.
27:55
I'm going to focus really hard and run to the West and jump
27:59
through that window. The one the cop got sucked
28:02
through. No, I said N not West.
28:07
You said West, so you're running N to jump through the window,
28:09
OK. Send it.
28:13
Damn it, little one. Oh yeah.
28:17
You you take off that way and you just eat shit.
28:21
Like soon as you step you haven't finished rolling up your
28:25
climbers keepers and you just kind of tripped over the last
28:28
bit of it. Damn.
28:30
It I'm going to walk. Up to the window and bust it
28:35
open with my elbow. All right, give me a melee
28:38
strike for it. 4. Wait.
28:46
Plus, what strength? Yeah, the seven.
28:51
Oh, yeah, yeah. You go up to it.
28:53
You look at Hasty, you shake your head in disappointment.
28:56
You're like, check this out and you go to hit it.
28:58
You go bink and you go Oh my funny.
29:01
Bone. That that window is intact,
29:05
gentlemen. Never seen a more well guarded
29:08
window in my life. Yeah, I don't.
29:10
Like this town at all? Hey, you haven't jumped face
29:16
first into any conex boxes so that's a plus I guess.
29:21
Hey baby bird, why are you tied up, by the way?
29:24
I don't know. This.
29:26
Dude found me while I was tracking around.
29:30
He called me a Boo hag, tied me up.
29:32
No he didn't. Whoa.
29:34
Whoa, racist. Just because.
29:36
You're a Filipino Jew, Doesn't wait.
29:41
Do you know what a Boo hag is, baby bird?
29:43
No, he started throwing like seasonings on me, like he was
29:45
going to cook me. Oh shit.
29:48
Oh, he's. A cannibal.
29:50
He's probably from. Florida eating all those fucking
29:54
bath salts. All the bath salt zombies?
29:57
Hell yeah. Classic bath salt zombie.
30:01
Hazy. You actually know that crackhead
30:03
in real life? Yeah, that's fucking Eddie, man.
30:09
Let's go. That's why I was no hesitation
30:11
pulling him out of that fucking tree.
30:15
That was an old friend of mine called Brain Dead Ed.
30:18
Not super great friends with him.
30:20
I think he's still in prison. I'm not sure.
30:22
Something about stealing $30,000 out of his girlfriend's bank
30:27
account while she was in a coma and his current wife but who he
30:32
was separated from, was found on the highway claiming that he had
30:35
shoved her in a closet and kept her there for three days and
30:38
then she went to the loony bin. What the fuck?
30:41
A lot. To unpack with that gentleman
30:44
classic. Dad Classic.
30:46
Brain Dad. What a guy.
30:51
Don't know why his relationships never worked out for him, he
30:55
just. Misunderstood man.
30:57
Yeah, that's what they normally say.
31:00
So I'm going to pull out my gun and just start blasting at
31:04
windows and doors and I'm just playing.
31:07
I'm going to rock back and punch the fuck out of this window now,
31:14
all right? This Let's do a focus 1 and put
31:17
your palms together and Mr. Miyagi, rub them real nice and
31:20
hot. Give a + 2 to your next melee
31:23
roll. I'm going.
31:24
To touch him on the back of the shoulder, I.
31:26
Look back. And smirk it hazy.
31:29
A. 1. Let's go.
31:37
Oh, what? You got this hazy, but you
31:40
accidentally rear back too far and you smack hazy in the face.
31:45
For. 2 points and 10 OH. Shit, are you alright?
31:52
No, I saw. What you were going for man,
31:53
just saw, you know, focus that way.
31:57
I I think we should go somewhere else.
32:00
Funky butt loving, Can I see? Am I all right?
32:06
Yeah, just wipe your chairs away 1st and you're good to go.
32:09
I'm not crying, you're crying. Damn Diamond Dallas all.
32:16
Right, I'm gonna go check that door.
32:21
Check that door. What's your luck stat?
32:25
It's still a. 1. OK, you go.
32:29
It's locked, motherfucker. Is it wiggle or does it seem
32:33
pretty fucking solid? That's it seems it it's got a
32:36
little bit of wiggle to it. You just hear it over the radio.
32:41
Hey guys, I I really rest on my skin.
32:46
How you found it yet shut the. Fuck up Coyote.
32:51
Are we looking for your skin? Why do you sound like that bird?
32:55
Is that you? No.
32:57
Mind your business. Hey, bird.
33:00
Hey, what are you doing? I.
33:03
What, what what happened to him? Why?
33:06
Why is he talking like this? Oh.
33:08
God fell asleep next to a river. Demon chick stole skin, ran off.
33:14
We're looking for it, I think. Oh.
33:18
God I wish I was scooting. And.
33:20
It's got to be in the impenetrable building.
33:23
I can't. Talk right, Just.
33:25
Turn off the radio. We don't need to listen to this
33:26
guy. Yeah, I'm not saying.
33:27
He he won't stop complaining, just turn it off.
33:32
All right, now you have no communication devices between
33:35
the two of you. Proceed.
33:40
You know what? Let's go.
33:41
I think we should go check that building over there with a
33:44
busted out. Window.
33:49
All righty, Roo. Gentlemen check the building.
33:54
Are you guys going to go through the windows, the doors or what
33:57
you doing? I feel like this.
33:59
Is a time to use my Macho Man Glasses NWO glasses.
34:04
Oh yeah, yeah, you can put those.
34:05
Back on. Do I see anything that's worth
34:08
the scene? Worth to be seen.
34:13
Well, you got to roll for it. Oh shit, that one's going.
34:17
To be perception, roll so. Perception roll plus.
34:23
Oh, just perception. That whole.
34:26
Whopping 0 15 Oh yeah, you put. Those things on and you see the
34:32
frequencies all over the town. Remember last time you followed
34:35
a trail here and then there was just a whole lot of frequencies
34:38
here. You see, you know, it looks
34:41
mostly human frequencies, but you do see a hint of something
34:46
supernatural frequencies in that window that's broken.
34:51
Yeah, baby bird, go check out that window.
34:55
All right. I'm going to pull up my pants.
34:59
Stop taking. Your pants off.
35:02
I'm going to get real low and walk up to the window because
35:05
that looks kind of scary. You make it up to here.
35:08
You're looking inside. Yeah, I'm.
35:10
Going to peek like a cat. OK, you're being.
35:13
Very, very sneaky. Are you though?
35:17
You see? Inside that, there's nothing in
35:20
there. There just looks to be like a
35:22
lot of dirt right underneath the window that you're at.
35:25
There's a table with a couple candles on there and you can't
35:29
quite see all the way N, but it looks like there's some blankets
35:34
and pillows in there. Slumber party.
35:39
Hey, hello. Are you saying that?
35:42
Inside the fucking building, yeah.
35:46
Hello, you just hear a. Low hiss.
35:51
Oh yeah, you could take that. I'm going to jump through the
35:54
window real fast. Give me an athletics roll.
35:59
Oh yeah, 16. Oh yeah, you.
36:03
You land, not only do you, you do a front flip in there and you
36:06
land on the table and you don't touch any of the glass that's on
36:08
the floor from when the cop got pulled in here I.
36:11
Also hissed because I heard his. You hiss and you look around the
36:16
room and there's nothing there. You were right, There is a bunch
36:19
of blankets and pillows at the top, but there's nothing else in
36:22
the room. What the hell?
36:24
I opened the door and then I pointed Hazy because it's his
36:28
turn, right? Yeah, Hazy.
36:30
What? What are you doing kicking open
36:32
this? Door to the north.
36:34
Kick that door, motherfuck. 4th. Yeah, you got to kick that door
36:40
and it it does like jiggle open a little bit, but then slams
36:43
back because he didn't kick it. He didn't kick it near the
36:46
handle. I'm.
36:48
Going to pull my gun and shoot the fucking handle.
36:53
Do that shit. Oh God.
36:55
Damn, it's two. Nevermind.
36:58
Rolling D 60 God. I'm sorry, I'm sorry a 50 Jesus.
37:06
This time you do hit the door handle and your bullet hits it
37:09
and ricochets off and hits you for five points of damage.
37:13
You are now bleeding and you have 5HP left.
37:17
Jesus, I'm going to. I'm going to slouch down on the
37:20
wall. For the record, you haven't
37:22
fought anything, Yeah. I'm going to slouch down the
37:25
wall just holding the wound. I need a break.
37:29
Cute. Dramatic.
37:30
Music. I run up to him and applying
37:34
first aid by putting a cigarette in his mouth.
37:37
Jesus, all right, give me a medical roll for you, baby Bird
37:42
14. Nice.
37:44
Oh yeah, you like that fucked up, you put it in his mouth,
37:47
Hazy. Go ahead and roll a hit dice.
37:48
How much HP you get back 2? Yeah, you got 2 HP.
37:53
Back there's a nice and the bleeding stopped.
37:57
Nice baby bird. You go ahead and put some
37:59
bandages on there and help stop the bleeding.
38:02
Thanks baby. Bird.
38:03
Yeah, I wrap it with. Cigarettes, man, I rubbed my
38:07
forehead. These buildings are pretty much
38:09
impenetrable. They should have made the
38:11
Pentagon out of this stuff, I said.
38:13
We'd give. Up and go home, they hit.
38:15
The Pentagon. I guess they really didn't want
38:19
us to enter that building, so I guess we should just give up.
38:22
What? The building he just left and
38:23
had entered What? No, the one.
38:27
To the South, yeah. Oh.
38:29
He only tried one time to get in there.
38:33
I feel like we checked multiple windows and blew up a fucking
38:35
door and tried to open another door.
38:37
We tried multiple times you. Looked in windows, you tried to
38:41
blow up the front door and then you tried to open the door to
38:45
the cellar and that didn't work out.
38:46
So, OK, you be at 2:00. You know what, I have an idea.
38:51
I want to go run back to the outhouse and grab that
38:53
motherfucker that's in there and ask him if he knows what the
38:55
fuck is going on and how to get in that building.
38:58
All right, I'm going to provide you back up.
39:00
Let's do. It from around the corner.
39:04
Both. Do you trek back down there to
39:05
the outhouse going all the way east, South Down?
39:10
You guys get to the Ale House and nobody's in there.
39:12
Just a steaming pile of poo poo. Damn, too late.
39:16
I'm going to put my glasses on and see where you went.
39:20
OK, better put your glasses on. I did.
39:26
Oh man, Hazy, you got to put your glasses on.
39:29
But then you just hear this screeching yell.
39:33
And. Eddie's behind you, swinging the
39:35
axe that you left him, but luckily you bent down to put
39:38
your glasses on and he just barely missed you.
39:42
Now you got to roll for initiative, boys.
39:45
Well, this. Crackhead.
39:46
'S really pissed at you dude. It'd be alright.
39:50
He threw a fucking. Axe at him.
39:52
I roll the three. 13 other. Dude rolled 16 so he's going to
39:59
take another swing at you with this axe.
40:03
And he misses again. This guy's tweaked out.
40:05
Just swings again. This time you just happen to
40:08
step back away, or you lean back out of the way of the axe.
40:13
Guto Hazy. You, you're up.
40:17
I'm I'm. Taking real quick.
40:19
Oh OK, yeah, fuck it, I'm just going to pull up my gun and
40:22
start blasting. Blast him 16.
40:28
Oh, you hit? A bow.
40:30
Nice. He.
40:30
Just stumbles into the wall a little bit.
40:36
Maybe we should ask him for information before we actually
40:38
fully kill him. That would be a first that
40:43
would. Be a first.
40:44
It felt weird saying it. I'm not eating a lot to you.
40:47
Yeah. I bet it did.
40:50
Probably need to wash your mouth out with that.
40:52
I'm going to Spidey. Web this guy look.
40:56
The opposite of Let him talk. 14 Oh shit.
41:01
You miss, but you hit the wall behind him.
41:06
It's still sticky. Dropkick him into it.
41:09
That's on you, Hazy. Oh wait, no, it's his turn.
41:11
He's going to take another swing, and this time he's going
41:13
to swing at you. Baby bird.
41:15
What is your AC? Pretty freaking.
41:19
High dude. Yeah, it is.
41:21
He swings. Oh, no.
41:22
Yeah, he can. He connects with this one.
41:24
He hits you 4, two points of damage.
41:30
He just catches you right in the side.
41:34
I'm going to get you, motherfucker.
41:38
Hazier up, start. Blasting 13.
41:43
Oh yeah. You, you miss and you
41:45
accidentally hit his webbing and like, part of it kind of like
41:48
hangs down now, so it's not fully up anymore.
41:50
That's what she said. Hmm.
41:52
You should see a doctor about that.
41:54
Baby birds, your turn. I'm going to drop kick him into
41:58
my webbing. Nice.
42:00
All right. Do a melee attack, Mother.
42:04
Freaker dude 7310 you miss. And while your webbing doesn't
42:10
really stick to you, your boots are a different matter.
42:12
You miss, you kick, he steps out of the way.
42:15
Your boot. Your boot is stuck in the
42:17
webbing. And so you're just on one foot
42:19
and the other foot's on the wall.
42:21
Dang it. He's going to roll with
42:24
advantage to hit you, baby bird, because you're not going
42:26
anywhere. So Oh yeah, oh, it's good taking
42:30
a roll with advantage so he hits you, baby bird, 43 points of
42:35
damage. He just catches your leg.
42:39
I'm going to fucking kill you. Oh.
42:41
I did have a knife by the way. Good for you.
42:47
Is it my turn? I'm going to try to manoeuvre
42:51
myself in a more, you know, presentable spot to shoot him in
42:56
the face so I can I get an advantage.
43:00
Yeah, you could just walk to the you're not going to get an
43:02
advantage, but you, you walk to the east and it's like you
43:05
square. Actually, you don't walk, you
43:06
walk 5 feet. You just take a step.
43:08
So he's diagonal of you. So now you can hit him.
43:12
I'm going to aim for the. Kneecap.
43:14
Get that kneecap, damn it. Three and you.
43:18
Miss Why do I have? Guns.
43:20
If I don't know how to use them, what the the fuck is going?
43:23
I don't know but you. You you hit baby bird for how
43:25
much damage was that 33? My bad.
43:29
You get, you get shot on the other leg, you're down to 10 HP
43:33
all. The legs look the same dude, I'm
43:35
sorry. This guy's going to take another
43:38
swing at Baby Bird and he's going to roll with the advantage
43:40
again because Baby Bird is still stuck there and now.
43:44
Screaming OH. This time he he misses though.
43:47
Just, oh, actually, when he swings at you this time, he
43:50
drops the axe clean, clean, right next to you, Hazy.
43:54
Nice. Get my axe back.
43:58
If he is he near me? He's right next to you.
44:02
I'm going to. Since my foot is stuck to the
44:05
wall, I'm going to bend backwards.
44:08
I'm going to grab on to his torso.
44:13
What do you mean he's too you're he's to your right.
44:15
You're Yeah, he's a bastard twister.
44:17
Don't. Argue.
44:20
It's like you're just doing this weird turn to your right
44:22
backwards to grab him. You're going to roll that with
44:24
disadvantage for sure. Red.
44:26
Hand right hand on yellow. OK, do it I guess.
44:33
Damn it. 80 that didn't. Work, yeah.
44:37
He broke. Your own neck.
44:40
Nah. So the the turn he did last time
44:44
where he was like trying to hit you, that's the one where he
44:46
dropped the axe right now. Sorry, I went out of turn.
44:49
OK, so. So I guess me contorting like
44:52
that kind of fucked him up. He was like, whoa.
44:55
That was cool. What the fuck?
44:59
You're definitely. No, you're definitely freaking
45:00
him out even more. Like he's just like everywhere.
45:04
Would he be considered flat footed?
45:08
No, fuck. You're in the.
45:10
Middle of a fight, he knows you're fighting.
45:12
I want to grab. That axe and try to, you know,
45:15
put a divot in his forehead. All right, grab the axe and
45:19
swing at that asshole. So I just rolled 20 in plus
45:22
strength. Yep.
45:26
Weren't you guys trying to question this man at some point?
45:29
No. We pushed past that 17, all
45:33
right? Yeah, you.
45:34
Hit him, go ahead and give me damage with the axe, 2 two
45:38
points of damage. You hit him, he like kind of
45:44
kind of stumbles back a little bit away from you.
45:48
So now he's just kind of out of melee reach.
45:51
Hey, baby bird, you want to question him or you want to keep
45:55
beating him up? No, we.
45:58
We could, you know, we can't really trust a crackhead, you
46:01
know? I'm totally with it.
46:03
Let's just go ahead. I'm having a boat show.
46:06
Yeah, let's beat the. Fuck out of this guy, I'm going
46:11
to throw a grenade at him. Oh fuck.
46:13
Yeah, now God. Peter Grenade, let's go.
46:17
OK, 21. Let's go.
46:19
Yeah. Roll the dice for damage.
46:22
A1 and A2. So that grenade goes off causing
46:32
causing three points of damage to this guy and Hazy son of a.
46:38
Bitch. Hazy's in range.
46:42
Hazy. That takes you down to four.
46:43
That takes this guy down to three.
46:46
Oh, goodness gracious. He goes to run and he just trips
46:49
over his own feet. He just and he's just like he
46:56
slowly closes his eyes while he's on the ground and he's not
47:00
moving. Let's tie him up.
47:07
Yeah, Why don't you? Why don't you just go web him a
47:09
few times in the face? He still got his foot stuck to
47:12
the fucking wall. Oh, I'm.
47:14
Going to go over there and cut him off of that wall.
47:18
OK, go cut him off that wall. Oh God, you're.
47:20
Going to take your knife and. Cut him off.
47:21
Yeah, yeah. Well, that's probably the safest
47:23
one, right? I'm not swinging or doing
47:25
anything crazy. OK, Yeah.
47:28
Hey, you cut him. Off.
47:29
He's off. You're loose, baby Bird.
47:31
Good job. All right, I'm going to.
47:32
Tie this guy up with my nice hot white.
47:37
Gross, Stevie. Sticky.
47:41
Yeah, yeah, all. Right, just in the middle of the
47:46
street here. You're spitting on this guy.
47:47
Yeah. Question.
47:48
I'm right here dude. OK, you spit on this unconscious
47:52
man who you don't even see breathing and you did not check
47:55
to see he if he's breathing. We got to.
47:58
Get the suspect secured first, all right?
48:03
That's training 101 for sure. You.
48:06
Stuck him to the ground and in a distance you both hear police
48:09
sirens. Oh.
48:11
Fuck. And that is where we're.
48:13
Going to end today's episode boys.
48:15
Good job I guess. Do we do our?
48:19
Job well, boss. I wouldn't know.
48:22
There's no radio comes with you guys anymore.
48:26
As the. Camera pulls away.
48:28
We're just bloody. Nothing got done.
48:33
Absolutely. Death.
48:34
Well, you guys are about dead. Hazy needs to smoke more
48:37
cigarettes. All right, everybody say
48:39
goodbye. Bye bye.
48:46
Transmission loss. Teen status unknown.