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Happy Hour #108: Welcome back, Settle In · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stephane
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Never Told You production of iHeartRadio. And we're back. We're
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: back with my Happy Hours. Hey, it's been a minute.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: It's been a minute, yes, because we have doing our
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: last of us mini series, which will give you me.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: I had more thoughts and almost made this another episode
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: about that, but I didn't. I didn't. I get ants. Yes, So,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: as always with these, drink responsibly if you choose to
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: drink at all, or whatever you choose to drink. Um, Samantha,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: what are you sipping on? You know, it's been a
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: rough day, so I'm just gonna keep it with a
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: diet coke and get me some caffeine for fit. What
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: about you? I got my red red wine. So yeah,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: it's been a it's been a minute since we've done
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: one of these happy hours. And actually we try to
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: do this one earlier, but a tornado we're interrupted us
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: morning very eruptly. We're like, no, let's just not do
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: this right now, because I thought there was a tornado outside.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: So but I wanted to talk about this. I thought
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: it would be an appropriate topic to come back to.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: And it's this idea of settling and not really in
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: a relationship, but kind of in our out of relationship,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: which is kind of like settling because lately I've been
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: in my apartment I think eight years seven or eight,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: and I love it. It's not like huge, but I
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: love it. But I've I've always liked renting because I
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: liked the idea that I could just go, I could
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: just move to a different city. And I was pretty
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: hesitant about saying like I'm from Atlanta or I've been
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: in Atlanta for a long time. And I think that's
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: sort of my like strange high school brain of being like, nah,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go places. And I've grown to really
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: love Atlanta, and I think it's just sort of that
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: idea when you're younger, where you're like, oh, I'll go
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: to the big city, or I'll go live in a
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: different country or what have you. But I've started, and
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: it's in part because my life has been chaos during
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: the pandemic. I've started collecting a lot of stuff and
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: there's not all the space that I need for the stuff.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: So the question becomes like do I settle here where
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I love in my apartment, or do I move? Do
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I stay or do I go. And it's just kind
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: of like I'm entering a new phase. It sort of
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: reminds me of what we were talking about with the
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: millennial midlife crisis, uh, Samantha, where I just feel it's
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: sort of it's sort of just came out of nowhere,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: it feels like. But it's made me be like, huh,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: I feel like I need to make a decision. I
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: feel like I've just sort of been waiting for something,
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: and now I feel like I should decide what I'm
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: gonna do. You know, I just I just had a
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: deja vu of me a year ago. I think almost
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: around this time that I had that whole. I think
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: it's time for me to buy a house. It was
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: probably earlier in the year. I guess it was earlier
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: in the year. But it's oh yeah, yeah, look at us.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: I don't mean after each other. I just realized that.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: So that means in the next three months you could
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: have a house or months. I did. Look, could I
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: admit to you, I look, I have some properties that
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: I'm goua send you now. I think it's just like
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: and I'm sure you could. You could probably talk me
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: through this, and I know you have an episode coming
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: up in May where you're going to do kind of
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: a revisit of your homeownership. But I guess it feels
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: kind of daunting to like, this is it. This is
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: not that you can't ever move, but I feel like
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: if I move into a house, or if I buy
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: a piece of property that's probably gonna be in Well,
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I will say that there does seem to be a
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: finality in it, especially as I watch my house value
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: go down and knowing that I can't sell it to
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: make it back the money right now. Of course, I
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: have no intention of moving, because moving it's a pain
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: in the air. Yes, so that's not a thing. But yeah,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: there there is, like and I'm here for you because
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: I told you I had a full blown panic attack
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: when I just talked to a relator in the story
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: m And so there's a lot to it, for sure,
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: and right now for you even more so. Is the
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: economic stabilities not great? Not great? Um, but you you
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: have a better standing than most people in general because
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: you have been very frugal in your life. Um, and
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: a good saver, good job, good a job, good adult job.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: One of my most embarrassing facts about myself is that
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: I learned how to do that from the show Friends.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: I don't think I need that, you know what, there's
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: something I guess where Monica anyway, I was like in
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: middle school taking notes. Okay, Okay, that's how I saved.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: I'm like blushing that I'm so embarrassed about that. That's hilario.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean it's also it's it is. That's
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: kind of what I'm talking about with this idea of settling,
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: because I feel like I've settled, and I really owe
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: it to you, Samantha and to a lot of you listeners,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: into like my identity a lot more, how I identify,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: how I'm pretty, I'm okay without having the partner and
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: all that stuff. Like, I've settled into that part of
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: myself and that feels like really good. It feels like
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: something has a puzzle pieces come together, and it's actually
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: made it easier for me to think about a lot
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: of other things because it's kind of removed that worry
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: from my brain. So I don't think if that hadn't happened,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: I don't think i'd be even in this space at all.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: But you know, listeners know of the show, I struggled
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: with that too. I struggled with that for a long time,
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: and so now I feel like I'm struggling with Yeah.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: It feels like that finality of that decision of like, okay,
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: is this, it is this, I'm closing this to where
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: in this door, in this door, and this is the
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: door and everybody goes through that. I'm not unique in
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: that at all, but this is kind of where I am.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: And I have been thinking about a lot because my
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: lease is coming up. I think that's one of the reasons,
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: but it is also it's chaos in my apartment. If
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: you have too much, and you have too much, here's
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: the thing you control, chaos. I love you. I was
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: always confused. I'm like, oh my god, she has so
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: much stuff. You're bordering on hoarder. I love you. This
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: is the talk though I taught you, I can't like
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: get rid of. I'm like, but this was a nice
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: thing someone wrote. So this is when we were clearing
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: out Annie's desk. She had things from five years before,
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: including mints that she has never eaten because she's somewhat
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: allergic to mint. And I'm like, why do you have this?
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: And You're like, well, someone gave it to me and
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: I'm like, girl, I'm I'm gonna throw this away. I
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: physically had to take it from you. So when I
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: came to your house, which is always clean, that is
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: not a thing. I see stacks of paper everywhere and
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: I was like, what are these which, by the way,
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: in Animal Crossing, you could just construct a stack of paper,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: and I feel like your house needs that, So I'm
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: gonna get that for you. But all these things like
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: but why do you have this? Literally, this little kid
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: that I like wrote this for me ten years ago,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I'm like, that kid has forgotten you. I'm sorry, But
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: there's so many things that you have that I'm like, wow,
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: you are very sentimental, and I get that, so I
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: have no like, I don't want you to throw those
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: things away, but yeah, I think it's time for you
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: to find space. This is gonna sound more of it,
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: but it's not at all. I do have a living
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: will and I have a will also. I have both,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: but I was just thinking I need to update it.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: And I was thinking about like, who's gonna get my
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: disco loop coast here, Like who's gonna get all these items?
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: Which is ridiculous, but that is part of like my
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: thinking in this conversation is like, I do have a
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: lot of stuff and where is it going to go?
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: And part of that is I'm just such a nerd
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: and I'm such a fan. So I literally have friends
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: who maybe wants every two weeks just send me a
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Star Wars thing, and that's I'm like, well, I love this,
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: but now it's another thing I've got to find a
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: space for. Yeah. I remember when this pandemic first started,
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: I wanted to do an episode on women versus men
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: in cleanliness. I haven't, Like, I did do some research
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: on it, but I'm mostly basing this anecdotally. Like my brothers,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: we're definitely not listening. But if you happen to be well,
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: if yeah, but you are not clean at all, like gross,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: like the kind of like you walk in and immediately
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: walk out and kind of way like not good at all.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: And I remember growing up my room was always very
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: very clean, like the kind of clean that might make
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: you nervous as an adult seeing this child's room so clean. Yeah,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: whereas their room their rooms. Oh anyway, but it is.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: It is funny because I feel like I have been
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: so stressed, as we all have during this and I've
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: been so busy that I just have had so many
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: things built up, and I kept telling myself, I'll deal
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: with it later. And I'm not a procrastinator, but I
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: do have priorities, and that's not one of them. So
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: we recently got new equipment because it's been three years
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: since we've been coming at you from home. And in fact,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: if it sounds different, I apologize. I'm still working on
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: the settings of my new microphone. But I tried to
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: clean out the space that I work in and was like, wow,
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: I've just been working in complaint. But it is one
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: of those things. And so that's another choice where I'm
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: kind of there's a part of me that hesitates, you know,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: that's like, how much do I really want to put
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: into cleaning this up if I'm going to move out? Oh?
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I don't know. But there are other things too, Like
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: I now I mentioned before on here, but my spell
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: check hasn't been working in forever, and some of you
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: have written in about spelling errors. That's my fault. I
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: will take the blame for it. It's because my spell
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: check isn't working and you don't think to check it,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: and then I haven't fixed it. It's just one of
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: those things. I know it is a problem, but I hilarious.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: My fridge, as you know, hasn't been working in months.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: I I just have been like pushing off a lot
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: of stuff because I feel like I'm at the precipice
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: of a decision. Yeah, and I'm also very busy, Like
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: I know, we all are very busy. It is my choice,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Like I said, it's a choosing a priorities where I'm
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: choosing to be busy and to do all this stuff. Um,
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: but I am, and so I'm trying to. I did
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: do a bunch of like cleaning, I set up the studio.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Samantha and I were talking, We did our taxes, We
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: did taxes. I'm scary, you know. And I think for you,
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: what's so funny is you're not really a procrastinator in
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: anything else but something that might help you. That's the
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: that's the funny part of me. The refrigerator has been
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: an ongoing issue, and you kept pushing off because you
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: did not want to talk to this person. And I
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: get an anxieties him. But the only person this is
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: affecting it is obviously you, Like, why why are you
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: not doing this? This is the point of renting that
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: you don't have to deal with that, you buy yourself,
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: you get somebody else to deal with it. But I
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: do like it's absolutely that level of not caring for
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: yourself as you should. I said it, but it is.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: It is hilarious and were WESO. I definitely had what
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: I suspect was a pretty severe case of food poisoning
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: because of that refrigerator, but I cannot other side. It
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: has been funny too because I am starting. I'm just
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: so bad at it, like the priorities thing, so I
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: started the Last of Us to you. Now I'm writing
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: fan fiction, and let me tell you, it takes some
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: time to post it and respond and thanks to everybody
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: who's responded, but you know, like it's the whole thing.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: So I'm having to, like, I am trying to be
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: much better, and it's straight because I don't really think
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: about it, but I do normally have kind of a
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: spring cleaning mode, and I feel like I'm in that
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: mode right now where I'm trying to like clean up,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: whether it's how I work or how I spend my
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: time or all of those things. I do think part
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: of it is the last of Us is ended, and
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: so that's probably like a okay, time out to kick
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: into gear something else. But I don't know. I've been
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: thinking about this a lot about what am I going
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: to do next? What am I going to settle? Am
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I going to settle? I don't know. I don't know,
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: but it's good. It's good to be thinking about it.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: At least. I think that's that's even one step. Like
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: I might not move for a while, but now I'm
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: thinking about it, which is new. So we'll see, We'll
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: see how it goes. In the meantime, I look forward
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: to your random sending of property. It's going to happen today.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: It's gonna start. I'm excited. I love it. Oh, I
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: can't wait. I need to. I need to check back
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: in on your animal crossing house. You know, I have
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: the entire house built. I am in much debt of bells.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I'm getting there. I love it so much. Check it
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: out soon. I want to see it well. Okay. In
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: the meantime, listeners, if you have any thoughts about this,
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: about settling, about animal crossing houses, about housing in general,
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: you can right to us our emails at Stephanie mom
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Steff at iheartmia dot com. You can find us on Twitter,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: I'm Moms a podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok at
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Stuff One Number told you Things, It's always too our
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Thank you and thanks to you for listening Stuff I
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Never Told his spection about heart Radio. For more podcast
• 15:59
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• 16:01
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• 16:07
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