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Sober Talk SA - Heather S · Sober Talk SA

• 0:20
  Welcome to silbert Elk. I'm Dennis and I have lived
• 0:23
  experience of alcohol. If you or anyone, you know is
• 0:26
  struggling with alcohol, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on
• 0:30
  1,300 CC of double to double to, or check out their website on
• 0:36
  are DOT org dot, are you? I'll just run through the
• 0:40
  Preamble of Alcoholics Anonymous.
• 0:43
  Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who
• 0:46
  share their experience strength and hope with each of them both.
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  So they come problems and help others to recover from
• 0:53
  alcoholism. The only requirement for
• 0:55
  membership is a desire to stop drinking.
• 0:58
  There are no Jews are faced with a membership.
• 1:00
  We are self-supporting through our own contributions is not
• 1:04
  allied with any sect in nomination, politics
• 1:07
  organization or Institution. Tushin does not wish to engage
• 1:10
  in any controversy. Neither endorses that oppose any
• 1:14
  causes our primary purpose is still Sovereign help other
• 1:18
  alcoholics achieve sobriety. Yeah.
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  Hi, everyone. My name is Heather and I am an
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  alcoholic. Yeah, always a bit of a binge
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  Drinker. I just absolutely love to
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  alcohol. I love the effect of it.
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  The way it made me feel how it took away, my fear, how it gave
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  me courage, how it allowed me to talk to boys.
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  Yeah, there's there's a whole lot of stuff that that did from
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  that stuff did for me. And yeah, I was, my father was
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  an alcoholic and he went to AA when I was 18.
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  And basically, I swore that I would never drink and I would
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  never drink that stuff. But by the time I was 18, I was
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  drinking because it was just the thing to do and it was what
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  everyone else was doing and all my friends were doing and my
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  sisters and everyone I still got a lot of parties where there was
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  kegs of beer and cider. And yeah but not long.
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  After I started drinking I had problems with alcohol.
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  It became Very apparent that whenever I drank there were
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  often, not always often consequences for of my drinking.
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  The really yucky consequences I found were the physical health,
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  how it affected my physical health.
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  And that was the terrible hangovers that I had.
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  That would last for three days after I'd had a Wandering
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  wandering session. And that kind of started.
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  That was probably more evident in my 30s, but in my twenties,
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  it was, it was starting then, as well.
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  By the time, I was 21. I had stopped drinking alcohol
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  because of the problems that was causing in my life because I
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  could not guarantee my behavior. Most of the time when I've
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  drank, I was always, I was pretty depressed as a teenager.
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  Yeah, I definitely Finally have that side to me which I've
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  always had and I've had to go to the GP and get and have ongoing
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  help for that, still today? Yes I came into a a 1994 but
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  going back to Before I was. Yeah, I met my husband when I
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  was 21, I was with him for 17 years.
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  We had two children. I had he was a binge Drinker
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  like me and there was other drugs that were tried, but
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  alcohol was my favorite. Not tried a lot.
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  I didn't try a lot of other stuff, really?
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  Because every time I tried something, I knew that alcohol
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  was the best. It was the the one that I went
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  to the most, you know. Yeah.
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  And I had these two little kids and I was, I was just like, I
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  was just like, right like You know, I'd be taking them to
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  school when I was hungover and these hangovers, the last and
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  four days and I just couldn't work it out.
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  I could not work. Could not work it out because I
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  didn't think I was as bad as my dad.
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  Who was in a? And, and he was sober and he
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  died sober in 2016 and he was my massive power of example for me
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  to, to get sober and to live the way basically just live a good
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  life, you know, that's what I saw him do.
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  Yeah. So, you know, I yeah, I said
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  that I came into AI in night in 1994 because I just was sick and
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  tired of being sick and tired and I was getting it felt like
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  my brain was starting to be damaged, and I couldn't work
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  that out because I thought how can you have brain damage when
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  you're only benge drinking, but you definitely can.
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  And what I liked about AA was they said that I said it was the
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  first string that does the damage that I have an allergy to
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  alcohol which at first, it didn't really makes much sense
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  to me. But after a while I thought.
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  Yeah, well I certainly have a different reaction to other
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  people to this alcohol. So I came in in 94.
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  I was in my Early 30s and I love day.
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  I really identified with people that were in the rooms at that
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  time and I really thought that I was an alcoholic.
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  I didn't have a good marriage. I didn't have a good marriage
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  and I wasn't happy. And at the end of that year, I
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  stopped going to meetings because I think really, I had
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  probably picked up a drink. Well before I actually stopped
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  going to meetings, I was full of resentment.
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  I was angry at my husband. I was angry at everyone.
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  I was I was angry that I couldn't drink and so I drank
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  again. And yeah I drank for another
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  three years and it was still binge drinking and I remembered
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  Hearing in the rooms you know that it That this disease
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  progresses and I definitely was getting worse in the three years
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  after 1994, and I just remember thinking a lot after I had my
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  children, that it wasn't fair that I was that they were
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  growing up with a mother. Who was we was like me?
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  Yeah. I remember thinking that a lot
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  and yeah, 1997. I ended up.
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  Thinking that if I didn't get help that I was going to die
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  drink-driving or I was going to die or I was going to kill
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  people in my car and I just knew that I just couldn't, that was a
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  real kind of line for me. You know, I just kind of
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  thought. Now I want to add it, I was
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  never suicidal. I've never been suicide or I've
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  had depression but I've never Been suicidal and I just thought
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  now you can do something about this.
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  So I went back to I and I haven't had a drink since 1997
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  and that's because of the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and it's
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  because I try to do is program one day at a time.
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  So they used to say things like you are always in the early days
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  of a. I when I came this to say,
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  you're always an arm's length away from picking up a drink.
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  Just remember that. And I should think, well, I'm
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  not, but I was because really, we all are, you know?
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  Yeah, so I did, I really, I really took that on board and I
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  took all the stuff on board that I heard, you know, the Serenity
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  Prayer. I was pretty angry.
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  When I first came into a, i because I didn't really want to
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  stop drinking. I just wanted the consequences
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  of my drinking to stop, you know.
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  So I stayed sober for two years in Ai.
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  And then I started looking at the 12 steps which are on the
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  wall walls of every room that you go into an AA meeting.
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  And the reason I did that was I was in a lot of pain.
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  I was in a lot of emotional pain and it was because I had split
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  up with my husband. I had left him and because I
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  finally got the courage to leave him like I had wanted to leave
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  him for a long time but for some reason, I just couldn't or
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  wouldn't. So in two years at two years
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  sober, I left my husband and he ended up meeting someone within
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  three months. And getting her pregnant.
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  And then he, I was just devastated because I didn't want
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  him to be happy, you know, why should he be happy when I wasn't
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  happy? You know, I left him.
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  But I still wasn't happy because I was struggling with all the
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  stuff that comes up when you put down the drink you know.
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  So yeah one of the things that I did do was I got back I was in I
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  had a good job. Job.
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  I've always had good jobs. I've always had always had in my
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  career. I've had a career and it's in
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  health. I will say that it is in health
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  and I just knew that That all I really wanted to do was go to AA
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  at that time was go to a, I look after my kids and get a house
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  because I was renting, because he got the house, and I got a
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  tiny bit of money for a deposit for a house.
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  And then I ended up buying a house, which was amazing because
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  by this time I was like, nearly 40 and yeah die.
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  What else happened? I started looking at the steps
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  while I did that when I was 2 years sober, I remember thinking
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  I find. I'm I remember finding Being
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  Sober really hard and I had a, I had gotten a sponsor of pretty
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  early on and I used to bring her and say things like, I don't
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  know how you do this and, you know, I don't know if I can keep
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  doing this because I really want a drink and I would say that a
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  lot. So you know they are Session for
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  me was not really removed straight away.
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  It took a while for that kind of, I don't know whether it was
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  the obsession or the compulsion, it was probably the compulsion
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  really to drink was not really removed for a while and it took
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  me ages to accept that. I was an alcoholic.
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  I could admit it but it took me a long time.
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  More than 5 years to accept that.
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  I was an alcoholic. But in that time, I didn't Got
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  the drink. I just did what they said to do,
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  which was go to meetin's, put one foot in front of the other,
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  you know. Do your best, make the romance,
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  where you can and and all this stuff and by the time I was five
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  years sober. Yeah.
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  My kids, you know, my kids have always done quite well but I was
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  I met a bloke Pub the same Pub that I met.
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  My husband at, I was five years sober.
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  I'm a bloke who has a daily Drinker in a pub, and I fell for
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  him and that sounds really crazy to me now, but I did and then so
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  I was with him for 10 years and he was a daily Drinker and I
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  didn't drink, which is amazing, that I didn't drink, I didn't
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  drink when I was with him, I didn't drink any time and then
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  he left me when I was 15 years sober.
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  And I was devastated. I was absolutely.
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  It was like, I just never saw it coming.
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  And I wouldn't have left him. I don't think.
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  Yeah. So he left me and I was once
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  again. Absolutely breathtaking.
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  You know, and just to speed this up a bit, something happened
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  where I was so upset that I just couldn't Not see a way I
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  couldn't see what I could do without drinking, and I was
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  found by my daughter on semaphore road with a bottle of
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  wine in the car with the leadoff.
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  Me smelling up, and tears, running down my face.
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  It's, there's a lot more to that story, but just to keep going,
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  you know, I at that moment I had another call from an, A, A Send
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  a woman a a friend who knew that I was running rough, really
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  running rough and she rang me. She said, we're are you Heather
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  and I told her and I said she said no you don't want to do
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  that Heather and I said yeah I know you know I just knew that I
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  wasn't. It felt like I wasn't going to
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  do it but it was so close and I put the lid on and I got out and
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  smoked my first cigarette for 10 years.
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  Because I just want to and I smoked for about six weeks.
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  And yeah, since then, you know, I've probably been on my own
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  roughly for about, probably about 10 years.
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  I've been on my own without a relationship.
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  And that's been really hard, but it's also, I've also learned a
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  lot about myself and a lot about, you know what?
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  What makes what makes me happy? Yeah.
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  What makes me happy? What makes me find joy in life.
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  I suppose and one of the things that I've found is bike riding
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  and I absolutely love it and when I'm on the bike I just feel
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  that you know, I just don't have any worries at all.
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  I just really like that that kind of action.
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  Action, you know? Like because I was always I was
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  always into sport. I'd always always always not
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  sport. I was into running actually.
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  And then I hurt my knee and so I couldn't run anymore.
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  So I had to pick up something else and it just happened to be
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  the bike. And yes, so these days, you
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  know, I've I don't work anymore and that's been really good for
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  me as well. You know, like I found my job
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  pretty stressful in the last few years and I just was able to
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  just go. No, let's just stop that and a
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  few other things have happened in the last few years.
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  That make me think that have been not what I thought was
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  going to happen but at the same time I'm okay with it, you know?
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  Because for me this staying sober as a gift, it feels like
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  I've been given a gift you know because it's a pretty nasty
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  conditions. Shin the World Health
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  Organization said that alcoholism is a disease back in
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  the 1960s. So you know, when I first came
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  in and I kind of thought or is it a disease?
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  Like is that really an when I heard that what the World Health
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  Organization said, it it just kind of helped reinforce the
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  fact that this is an all-encompassing disease of
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  Menthol. Mental, physical emotional,
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  spiritual. It's like a real big.
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  It kind of is Big, you know. It's not just, it's not a little
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  thing. And I always say it in
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  newcomers, just, you know, if you're in the rooms or, you
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  know, you're in a zoom meeting or were up whatever and try and
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  listen to the similarities and not the differences because I
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  definitely listen to the difference.
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  He's a lot of us do. If you can hear similarities,
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  that's all really good. That's a really good thing, you
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  know, because you can get some identification as an alcoholic
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  and we are all different, you know, you'll get, you'll get
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  this daily Drinkers and binge Drinkers and Bender Drinkers and
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  there's just all sorts. And for me, I believe that its
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  genetic not everyone believes that, but I believe that it is
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  for me. And I think that that this
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  condition Can skip Generations, it can skip siblings it, can it
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  can come out in people that haven't got a history of it and
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  their families and I don't know how it does that but it does
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  that. But it could be if you look back
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  in the history I feel I believe there's probably someone that's
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  got up that's had at, you know. Yeah.
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  So we really are, you know, I've really are quite different and
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  we have to some of the stuff that I've learned in AI.
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  All the ways that I try to live today, you know, and I just
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  don't pick up that first drink one day at a time.
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  And by doing that, I can't get drunk and I can't get a, can't
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  they doing that as well? I can, you know, I can get up in
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  the morning and I can have a shower.
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  I can feed my dog, I can take my dog for a walk.
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  I can go and do the shopping. I can look after myself with
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  food. Food.
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  Good food. Yeah, all that sort of stuff.
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  You don't have to really basic simple stuff but it's really
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  important, you know? And yeah, I think, you know,
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  with AI as well. I had tried.
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  I had tried lots of other things to try and stop the consequences
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  of my drinking and nothing worked.
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  Absolutely nothing. I had, I had Slaying.
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  I had ways that I tried myself. I had all these books on
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  self-help and addiction and none of them helped.
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  The only thing that's helped stop me.
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  Stop drinking is coming to Alcoholics Anonymous.
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  And you know, initially I was like so full of like denial and
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  you know, I surely can't have this but it is a fatal disease
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  and I have to remember that, you know, In the in the early days
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  when I came in that the old-timers would say things like
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  it's death, jail or Insanity, and you still hear that in the
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  rooms today and it's important that you do hear that because it
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  is really nasty. And I think I think it's
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  underestimated how really nasty this is, you know, there's been
• 21:41
  times in my recovery where off thought, oh, you know, like,
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  When's it going to get better but it does get better.
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  It just it kind of it comes and goes, you know?
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  And what I'm really grateful for today is that I have I have
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  quite a few grandchildren that I can be with and I can spend time
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  with than you know, I have kids that have two kids that I have a
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  love, having a relationship with them and I just I just love all
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  the basic stuff, you know, and I do have a relationship with a
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  higher power that I don't actually really understand that
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  well but I know that I've over the years.
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  I've had to develop that kind of belief and how and develop that
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  trust because it's just another tool in the in the stuff that
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  we're here in AI, you know. It's a tool that I can use to
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  get relief. 'F to get relief.
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  It's a little bit like how I got relief from the drinking but
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  it's through a higher power, that's a higher power, that's
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  greater than myself, you know? So yeah, if you're new or you're
• 23:02
  not sure whether you are an alcoholic, keep searching.
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  If you've come into a or you're thinking about coming in, you
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  know, I used to say if it looks like a duck and it walks Walks
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  Like A Duck. It probably it quacks like a
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  duck head. Probably is a duck.
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  And I love that one because it's simple, its basic and it's it's
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  so true. And, you know, people that come
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  into a, a they yeah, you know, you're in, we all come in and
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  it's for its for a reason. We don't just come in there for
• 23:39
  nothing, you know, we just want to have a better life and not
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  have to live with this stuff, this alcohol.
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  And when we don't hate alcohol, will leave it to the ones that
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  can handle it. And for me I can't I can't
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  handle. I tried so hard for so many
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  years. So yeah, I think I've got to
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  leave it there. So thanks for listening to me.
• 24:02
  And yeah, I'll say I'll say, see ya boy.
• 24:08
  We have local meetings for the full week in the local area.
• 24:13
  Monday is Galler meeting at 8:00, Tuesday, is Elizabeth East
• 24:18
  at 8 o'clock, Wednesday. Is Elizabeth East at 8 o'clock.
• 24:23
  Thursday is to Wells at 8:00 and Fridays Salisbury at 8:00.
• 24:29
  There's a meeting at Devon on park at 12:00 and on Sunday,
• 24:33
  there's a maintenance Salisbury at 7:00.
• 24:35
  And many of the mains in the area, What details of your local
• 24:41
  Maintenance please for on 1300 double to double to double to?
• 24:47
  And once again, if anyone, you know is struggling with alcohol
• 24:50
  issues, police call Alcoholics Anonymous on 1300 double to
• 24:55
  double to double. So the website is in South
• 24:59
  Australia, dot org dot, are you