Latest / Unbalanced with Cerys Davage / 73. Clubbing, drinking and disability

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73. Clubbing, drinking and disability · Unbalanced with Cerys Davage

0:10
Hi everyone, welcome back to another episode of Unbalanced
0:13
with Me, Kerry Savage, and the last episode of 2025.
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Can you believe it? If you're new here, thank you so
0:20
much for clicking on this episode.
0:22
I hope you enjoy it. And if this is not your first
0:25
episode, welcome back. I really, really appreciate your
0:28
support and that you keep coming back to watch some more.
0:31
I hope you appreciate the setup. Today I bought a new light,
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which is very exciting. This is the time of year where
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it's too dark for me to just film with natural light, as you
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could probably tell from my last solo episode.
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So I bought a new light. It's so exciting.
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I'm absolutely loving it. It's like an LED light.
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And I've got my little Christmas tree behind me.
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It's not the usual fur Christmas tree, it's the tree that I have
1:00
in all my episodes all year round.
1:02
But I decided to decorate it a little bit.
1:03
I've put the lights on. I've put a lot of different
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ribbon bows on there and a couple of baubles and sparkly
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things, so I hope you appreciate it.
1:12
But I thought I'm wearing a big green jumper today.
1:15
I'm kind of dressed like a Christmas tree.
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So you honestly couldn't get more Christmassy than this.
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I've got my candle going. I've got my Christmas mug from
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Sauce String Green and we're good to go.
1:27
Before we dive into today's episode about clubbing, I wanted
1:30
to let you guys know about a new little chapter that I'm doing
1:34
over on Instagram. I noticed that a lot of my
1:38
content that I was doing was under Unbalanced Podcast, and
1:41
that's the one I've been kind of promoting.
1:43
But I realised that if I want to keep growing as a creator and if
1:47
I want to be more of a disability advocate, I need to
1:50
stop hiding it behind my Unbalanced Podcast account and
1:54
just do it on my main account, which is Kerry Savage.
1:57
That's my personal account. That's kind of before this new
2:01
era. I was just posting kind of
2:03
normal life updates, but I wasn't really posting much of my
2:07
behind the scenes, much of my day-to-day life or my disability
2:11
advocacy things, which is really important to me.
2:14
And I realised that I was posting it on my unbalanced
2:16
podcast account, which I feel a little bit safer doing because
2:21
people have chosen to follow that account.
2:23
Whereas my main account I've had since I joined Instagram, I've
2:26
got all sorts of people on there.
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I just realised if I'm going to be taking this content creation
2:32
seriously and do some advocacy, raise some awareness, I need to
2:36
start doing it on my main account as me and not as my
2:40
podcast. So my Imbalance podcast account
2:43
is still there. It's still going to keep going,
2:45
but it's just going to be podcast related things and not
2:48
everything else, you know, everything else is now going to
2:50
be on my main Instagram account, which is Kerry Stavage.
2:54
So if you don't follow me on there and you just follow the
2:56
podcast account, now's the time to make the switch.
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If you want to come join me over there as well.
3:02
I'm hoping to be a bit more active, but in the last couple
3:05
weeks I've been really, really ill.
3:08
I was at the event at the House of Lords.
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Well, it wasn't the House of Lords in the end, it was the
3:14
Ironmonger's Hall because of a very last minute staff strike
3:18
and we had to change the venue. But it was a really, really nice
3:22
venue. I really, really loved it.
3:25
The atmosphere was amazing, it was so nice to be a part of Andy
3:30
UK's strategy launch and that's kind of why I was invited and
3:35
met some old friends but also met a lot of new people, which
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was really exciting. I took my mum with me and I did
3:41
vlog it on my YouTube. If you haven't had a chance to
3:43
watch it, I really recommend that you do.
3:45
Except that day kind of took a bit of a turn because I ended up
3:50
getting glutened, unfortunately, and I think it's been exactly a
3:54
year since I was last glutened, and it's not a nice feeling at
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all. I've spoken about it a lot
4:01
before. If you guys didn't know, I'm
4:03
celiac, so a single crumb of gluten can make me ill, so I
4:07
have to be really, really careful.
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But yeah, unfortunately, after the event, not long after we
4:12
were still in London, I ended up getting really, really sick.
4:16
So if you want to know the whole story, it's actually quite funny
4:20
but quite tragic at the same time.
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It's all in the YouTube blog. So then when I came back, I had
4:25
a sick day, but I also came down with something flu like.
4:29
I don't know what it was, but I had a really sore throat.
4:32
I had a sore throat anyway, but the throwing up did not help.
4:35
And then the cold just came on. I had an awful, awful, just sore
4:40
throat, cold, cough, everything. I just felt really rundown.
4:44
And to be honest, I'm quite proud of myself for lasting this
4:46
long and dodging all the bugs that's been going on around work
4:50
and just everywhere in the outside world.
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But yeah, it finally got to me. And so that's why I couldn't
4:57
record an episode early enough to make it out for the last
5:02
episode slot. So I ended up swapping.
5:05
So if you haven't checked out my last episode, it was an
5:07
interview with Hanza. I'm so glad I had that ready to
5:11
go so that I could just recover a little bit more and then do
5:15
this. And it's actually turned out
5:17
quite nicely that this is the last episode of this year so
5:20
that I can wish you all a Merry Christmas at the end and a happy
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New Year. Despite my last episode being
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all about going into hibernation, I've actually
5:28
ironically been quite the opposite.
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I've been so, so busy with lots of different things, lots of
5:34
exciting projects coming up with my content creation and my
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podcast, but also just life. And life is so, so busy this
5:43
time of year. And I guess I always assume
5:45
after summer things will start to calm down.
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But actually this time of year and the run up for Christmas is
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super busy. So I've kind of been on the
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verge of burning out for the past few weeks.
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So I'm looking forward to sitting down and actually just
6:00
relaxing a bit and being able to chat with you guys.
6:03
It's what I love to do most about this podcast, of course,
6:07
and of course it's nice to be able to close the ear by giving
6:10
you guys all the new updates because there are quite a few.
6:13
I did get a walking stick from cool crutches.
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If you haven't already checked out my Instagram.
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I did a little unboxing on my Instagram and I absolutely love
6:23
it I've used a few Times Now it's really helped with little
6:27
things like gusts of wind or if there's little gradients in the
6:32
road, you know, and I need to walk slightly uphill or
6:34
downhill. That really helps me.
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It's kind of like holding on to someone's arm, except in the
6:40
form of a stick. If no one else is around, I've
6:42
got this stick which is really handy.
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I also used my new Deacon E Drive electric wheelchair for
6:49
the first time. So it was my original wheelchair
6:51
but with an electric add on. I used that for the first time
6:54
when I went to London and I did feature it in my YouTube vlog as
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well. So that's been really exciting,
7:00
but also very recently I got a new Motability car, which is
7:06
also a new chapter, new exciting chapter.
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So if you guys aren't familiar with Motability, they do adapted
7:13
cars. I can't drive with my feet, my
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legs, they're completely out of function when it comes to
7:19
driving. So I drive with my hands and the
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way it works with leasing A Motability car is that it lasts
7:27
every three years. So my three years came to an end
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with my first car and I've now got a second car, but this time
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it's a little bit higher, which has worked out really well for
7:37
me because I struggle getting up from seats that are a bit too
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low. The closest the seats are to hip
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level when I'm standing, the better.
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That means I won't struggle to get on and off it as much.
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So that's been a proper game changer.
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It's really helped my hips because obviously my hips are
7:54
the weakest. So that's really helped me out.
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But yeah, I'm loving my new chapter in my new car.
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I think that's all the updates I have to give you.
8:05
I hope you guys are feeling Christmas.
8:06
You hope you're ready for Christmas.
8:08
I know it's only in a few days now, but I thought that this
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would be a good time and actually very different from my
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last podcast episode about hibernating.
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I thought this would be a good time to talk about clubbing
8:21
culture and drinking culture. This is a huge thing, especially
8:24
around Christmas. December is a huge going out
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time so I have some thoughts not only as someone that has a
8:33
history of going clubbing and drinking and things like that,
8:37
but also with a disability and how my relationship to this has
8:40
changed ever since I was 18. I guess I just wanted to start
8:44
with a content warning. This episode will discuss the
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use of alcohol, so if this is something that triggers you or
8:50
makes you uncomfortable, I'd recommend maybe skipping this
8:53
episode and checking out my other recent episodes.
8:56
Like my 2 recent ones were both interviews with the amazing
9:00
Hansanamas and Fred Graves. I thought I would just kind of
9:04
go through my relationship with clubbing and going out because I
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am extrovert. It's something I have enjoys
9:13
doing over the years but also I think it's kind of an A norm in
9:19
a way. It's something that we pick up
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from quite a young age that you know, drinking is the centre of
9:26
like socialising. So if there's a gathering, if
9:30
there's a party, if a few people get together, there's going to
9:34
be alcohol involved. More likely than not, there's
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going to be, you know, a couple bottles of wine, you're going to
9:40
crack open a can or two. Everything centres around
9:44
alcohol in a way when it comes to socialising.
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And I can only imagine, I'm not sober myself, but I can only
9:51
imagine that that must be really difficult for people who don't
9:54
drink because I think people kind of assume that everyone
9:58
drinks. And if you say that you don't
10:00
drink, people expect a reason. You know, like if I said to
10:04
someone, oh, I don't smoke, they won't ask me why.
10:07
I just don't, you know, you either do or you don't.
10:09
And that's completely fine if you don't.
10:12
But it's not that way with alcohol.
10:14
If I said, oh, I don't drink, they would ask me why, you know,
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they would. They'd be intrigued.
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They'd want to know, you know, whether there's a reason.
10:21
Because drinking is just so normal, it's so normalised.
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And I think people are shocked that you can kind of last a
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whole evening of socialising without drinking alcohol, as if
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it's something you'd physically need to be able to connect with
10:36
one another. And I know that there are a lot
10:38
of people who maybe depend on alcohol to come out of their
10:42
shell a bit more to be social and to just kind of let
10:45
themselves go a little bit. But that's not the case for me.
10:49
I'm a very sociable person. I don't need alcohol.
10:52
If anything, if I drink one too many drinks, I end up making
10:57
just a fool of myself and just yapping way too much.
11:00
No one needs to hear me chat that much rubbish honestly, I
11:03
promise you. So let's go back to the
11:05
beginning. Obviously in school people would
11:08
have house parties and usually there would be a parent there or
11:12
just kind of in the other room or next door or something, just
11:16
kind of on standby as an excuse to be able to drink underage in
11:21
a house. So that was a huge thing in my
11:25
school anyway, and just in sixth form in general, but also there
11:29
would be 6 form parties where only the people above 18 would
11:32
would be able to buy or drink alcohol.
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But that would never last with it.
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You know, they would end up just buying drinks for the rest of
11:40
the underage crew and we would all be drunking.
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It's just kind of normal isn't it?
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You know, if you can't drink more, you just get an 18 year
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old to buy you one, which is crazy.
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It's kind of a rite of passage as someone in the UK maybe.
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I don't know if this is like a universal thing.
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As soon as you turn 18, what do you do?
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You go out clubbing for the first time, use your ID, You're
12:01
really excited about the fact that you can finally drink
12:05
without fear of getting caught, or you can actually order a
12:09
drink yourself or go into these bars and clubs.
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So it's all like a new exciting concept.
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And I absolutely love that. I'm an August baby, so I was one
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of the last people to turn 18 in my friend group, which meant
12:23
that I had a lot of catching up to do and I only had a month of
12:27
going out and drinking legally until I got to uni.
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So I was still quite fresh into the clubbing scene when I went
12:36
to university. So naturally I carried on, you
12:40
know, I kept going with, you know, exploring my relationship
12:44
to clubbing, my relationship to alcohol.
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Looking back now, some of the drinks I had like pink gin and
12:50
Peach snaps I couldn't touch. Now that was definitely a
12:55
specific time. And I think if you overdo it
12:58
with a certain type of drink, then you know, you just have to
13:02
say goodbye to that drink forever because you know, 1 sip
13:06
of that drink now and it'll bring back all the memories and
13:08
maybe not all pleasant ones. But for the most part, I really
13:12
enjoyed going out to different pubs and bars and clubs because
13:16
it meant that I could socialise. And looking back, I really did
13:20
not need to spend that much money or buy that many drinks to
13:23
get drunk because I didn't need to because I was a sociable
13:26
person anyway. I think when I did drink at
13:29
quite a young age, and obviously I was a lot more mobile than it
13:33
would give me the confidence that I wouldn't usually have
13:36
when it came to stairs or lasting very long, you know,
13:40
dancing or being on my feet for a long time all night, just
13:45
socialising. So that would really have a
13:48
knock on effect. So, you know, if I had a couple
13:51
of drinks and I felt invincible, I would fly down a flight of
13:55
stairs, you know, absolutely fine.
13:56
And my friends would be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, carries, you
13:59
know, you're supposed to be struggling with stairs here.
14:01
And I'm like, no, I'm fine. You know, I can do this.
14:05
But, you know, sometimes I would fall and sometimes I would, you
14:08
know, be stood up or dancing for such a long time it would tyre
14:11
me out. And I don't think you realise
14:14
the effect of the tiredness until after the alcohol wears
14:17
out. Alcohol is weird like that.
14:19
So that was kind of a first reminder for me that maybe
14:22
drinking isn't the best idea when I have a disability.
14:25
Maybe, you know, getting really drunk isn't the best idea when
14:28
I've got a disability. Oh, yeah.
14:30
Obviously through university I did lose a lot of my mobility.
14:34
I struggled a lot more with my stamina.
14:38
But then obviously when I came back home, whether it was for
14:41
Christmas or just, you know, after I graduated and I moved
14:44
back home, I had to establish these new boundaries with people
14:48
from back home that hadn't seen me deteriorate in the last three
14:52
years. So I had to kind of explain to
14:54
them, actually, I am a bit weaker on the stairs now.
14:57
I can't do this. I can't last all, you know, I
15:00
can't say up until 2:00 or 3:00 AM because I just can't handle
15:04
it. My body just can't handle it.
15:06
And I think one of the main reasons for that is because we
15:09
kind of overdid it in the university.
15:11
I think by third year we were going out three or four times a
15:15
week. I can't even comprehend that
15:17
now. Like it's a crazy thought to me
15:20
that we used to be able to go out all night, you know, get
15:24
ready, go out all night until early hours in the morning, go
15:28
to sleep, wake up mid afternoon and just go again.
15:31
You know, even if we were feeling really rough, even if we
15:34
were feeling like I really all I want to do is just lie in bed
15:38
and just watch a film or something, have a cosy night in.
15:40
No, we kept going like we would all collectively just get ready
15:44
and go again. You know, the next night or
15:46
maybe like 3 nights in a row, again, can't comprehend that
15:50
now, but I think that is what has LED us to not be able to do
15:56
that anymore. I don't know, that might just be
15:58
me out of practise because I definitely don't do that
16:00
anymore. But I think, you know, at that
16:01
age you do make the most of not having a full time job.
16:04
You know, you only have your studies, which obviously is very
16:07
important. And hey, I survived, I
16:09
graduated, I'm happy with my results, but just the fact that
16:12
we all we did was go out and I felt the kind of pressure to go
16:16
out all the time because I didn't want to miss out on
16:18
anything. FOMO, fear of missing out for me
16:22
was huge. You know, I constantly wanted to
16:24
be with people. I couldn't bear the thought of
16:28
leaving everyone else to go out and staying in by myself unless
16:32
I was ill or something, which I don't think ever happened.
16:35
But looking back, I'm like every night was exactly the same, you
16:39
know, we would go to the same kind of pubs with the same
16:41
people, see the same people. Aberystwyth, where I went to
16:44
university, is not that big. So we would end up spending the
16:48
night with the same people and drink the same drinks, you know,
16:51
go to the same rubbish club with rubbish music.
16:55
And I'm just kind of looking back at that era, I'm like, I
16:59
could have just, you know, missed out on a couple of those
17:01
and had a night in and just had a bit more of a balance because
17:05
I really wouldn't have missed that much knowing that every
17:09
night was basically the same. I could have gotten away with
17:12
just giving a few of them a miss, to be honest.
17:15
But you know, that was me as a 1920 year old wanting to enjoy
17:21
life and make the most of it whilst I still could.
17:23
Because, you know, the reality is I probably won't be able to
17:28
have a beat, go as hard as that ever again.
17:30
I won't be able to have as much of A stamina when it comes to
17:33
going out. But also I wasn't as wary as I
17:37
am now. I think I was able to get away
17:39
with a lot more things. I was a lot more stable.
17:42
I mean, obviously still disabled, obviously still have
17:45
my struggles. But compared to now, oh gosh, I
17:49
really, I think I'm a lot more anxious now as a person.
17:53
I think I could get away with a lot more back then, you know, if
17:57
I fell over, obviously it would really knock my confidence.
18:00
But there was always someone around to help me up or back
18:03
then I could get myself up. And now I'm just every time I
18:07
have a fall, it really like it not my confidence.
18:10
And also I just, I just want to lie down.
18:13
I just want to sit down and be somewhere safe.
18:15
I don't want it happening again. I remember the first time I had
18:19
to miss out on a night out was because of my, I think looking
18:23
back, it was sciatica and it was the first time I had sciatica.
18:26
I hosted a house warming because I'd not that long ago moved into
18:32
this home where I am now with Tristan and I hosted a big house
18:36
warming and we played some games and had some drinks here and
18:39
then we were going to go out afterwards.
18:41
But the whole week before, I really, really struggled with
18:44
the pain in my leg. And I just, I couldn't go for
18:48
walks. It was in pain even when I was
18:50
sat down, like I was just in constant pain with my right leg.
18:54
I remember mentioning it on the podcast at the time.
18:58
So my friends then all went into town without me and they would
19:01
be like, come on, like, just come with us.
19:03
We'll help you. We'll find somewhere to sit.
19:04
And I just couldn't think of anything worse than going out.
19:09
Like the thought really just turned on me.
19:11
And I had to just be OK with letting them go, potentially
19:15
getting that FOMO, which I absolutely did.
19:17
I think some was away that we can.
19:19
So when they all left, I ended up just crying down the phone to
19:22
him. And it's quite a lonely feeling.
19:25
And that was the first time I had to miss out on a night out
19:28
because of my disability. And that really, really got to
19:31
me. But I think that was the first
19:33
time I established the boundary. I didn't let myself be convinced
19:39
by other people and felt people please re enough to just go out
19:43
with them anyway. I decided, you know, I have to
19:46
stay for my own good, my own well-being, my own physical
19:49
well-being. And as much as it really killed
19:52
me inside, I knew that it was for the best.
19:55
So I think that's that kind of opened the door to me just to
19:59
establish some barriers. And I think from then on, and
20:02
especially, you know, going into the working world and savouring
20:07
my weekends a lot more, you know, I don't want to go out
20:09
every weekend and then end up being hungover on Sunday and
20:13
then have another week of work and do the same thing again.
20:17
I think the fact that I started to go out less and less made
20:21
going out more exciting, and I actually look forward to it a
20:25
lot more than I did going out all the time.
20:28
You know, I think clubbing kind of loses its novelty if you go
20:32
out all the time and if you overuse it.
20:34
But also I was just really aware of, you know, I didn't want to
20:37
drink a lot. I know that drinks have a lot of
20:39
calories in them, so I was really just wary when it came to
20:43
that. But also I'm just getting to the
20:45
point where I'm terrified if I drink too much because if I fell
20:50
over like I could potentially break a bone and just be like
20:53
too drunk to even know what to do.
20:56
Just the thought of not being in control of my own body really
20:59
scares me. And that is exactly what alcohol
21:01
is for. That's exactly what getting
21:03
drunk is for is to be able to lose control of your body and
21:06
just like release, you know everything.
21:10
Don't get me wrong, I still love going out.
21:11
I still love socialising. I do love a good boogie, but I
21:15
just feel really old now for some reason.
21:19
And people are like, you're so young, you're in your 20s, like
21:22
this is your prime, go out and have fun and dance on the
21:26
tables, which first of all, I can't.
21:28
But also like, I think because I did it so much in uni, I don't
21:32
know, it's just not the same anymore.
21:34
I have to be really wary with what I wear.
21:36
You know, I can't wear heels because of my disability.
21:40
I have to be really careful when it comes to footwear.
21:43
I usually wear something comfortable that I can last the
21:46
night in and not have really painful feet or, you know, I
21:49
don't want to twist an ankle just because I'm wearing heels.
21:52
I don't want to wear anything too restricting or things that,
21:56
you know, is like things that are really short that I'll just
21:58
be like worried about the way I look the whole time.
22:01
I'm a lot more worried about, you know, just feeling
22:03
comfortable and feeling safe. But there is something about it
22:08
now, Like I just, I feel like a grandma and I, I just love my
22:11
nights in so much. But I think it's also a case of
22:15
surrounding yourself with people that also feel the same way.
22:19
I think if I was in university with the way I'm feeling now
22:22
about loving nights in and things, I wouldn't have blended
22:26
in as well with my friends. But you know, that's because we
22:30
were all in the same boat, you know, But now we're all, we've
22:33
all spread out across the country.
22:35
We're all in full time jobs, we're all so busy that we
22:38
actually love a night in. And I have heard that clubbing
22:42
is becoming less and less popular now with the younger
22:45
generation, like with Gen Z's, which is my generation.
22:48
I think a lot of us are turning away from alcohol and turning
22:52
away from clubbing in general and turning to more kind of
22:56
wholesome things. Wellness is a huge thing on
22:59
social media at the moment. It is a trend so people are a
23:04
lot more mindful of what they consume and what they and how
23:08
they treat their bodies. And alcohol is a drug and
23:11
alcohol is really, really bad for you, as we all know.
23:14
But it's just so normalised that you're actually praised for
23:17
going against the grain and not drinking, You know, if you
23:20
choose to live that lifestyle, which is crazy because you're
23:23
just basically choosing to look after your body better.
23:26
You know, it's nothing crazy. But also like, I don't think
23:30
drinking should be something that's expected of everyone as
23:33
soon as they turn 18 because there are a lot of people who
23:37
just don't enjoy drinking. There are a lot of people who
23:41
don't like the taste of alcohol or who, you know, like I,
23:44
there's a lot of alcohol that I won't touch.
23:46
There's a lot of alcohol that I don't drink.
23:48
I really don't like wine trust and hates that because he loves
23:51
wine and he really loves the idea of like sharing a bottle if
23:54
we go on a date. But it's just not for me and I'm
23:56
not going to drink it if I don't like it.
23:58
Whereas I know a lot of people tend to drink things they don't
24:02
like just to get drunk. But that's that's not the case
24:05
with me. I just, I have a very sensitive
24:07
taste, I think. But yeah, it is quite refreshing
24:09
to see that people are enjoying other things than just going out
24:15
all the time. This time of year is like the
24:18
worst time to go out as well because it's freezing, it's
24:20
windy, you have to wrap up warm and wear layers otherwise you'll
24:24
freeze. You know, you can't just wear
24:25
like a mini dress because your legs will be freezing unless
24:28
you're willing to do that or willing to drink enough to not
24:31
feel the cold. But for me, like I have to be so
24:35
careful of myself now. I think it's just like, you
24:38
know, I am at the point where I really, really want to take care
24:41
of my body as best as I can. And I don't want to spend all
24:44
week, you know, going to the gym and eating healthy and resting
24:49
where I need to just to go out and throw the hard week of work
24:53
away, you know, binge drinking and staying up until the early
24:57
hours. And I think because we have, we
24:59
have like a good body clock now. And having, having a routine
25:04
really, really helps. And having a body clock really
25:07
helps me, especially working full time.
25:09
So needing to throw that out the window to stay up until the
25:12
early hours to go clubbing really doesn't appeal to me
25:15
anymore. If it reaches midnight, I'm
25:17
like, wow, OK, it's time to go. I need to be in bed.
25:20
So yeah, I'm, I'm really loving going out a lot less so that
25:24
when I do go out I enjoy it so much more.
25:26
I still love going out and socialising, but I think the
25:30
vibe I'm enjoying right now is not as much clubbing because the
25:34
dance floors are usually packed with people.
25:37
There's high risk of me falling over.
25:39
Actually, the last time I went to a club, I tripped over
25:42
someone's foot and fell over flat on my face and I had needed
25:45
like four or five people to help me up.
25:48
But I'm loving the idea of just going to a bar where we can sit
25:52
down, we can have a nice cocktail or a nice drink that,
25:55
you know, we're not drinking just to get drunk.
25:57
We're actually enjoying it like an espresso martini.
26:00
If you guys follow me on social media, you know, I love my
26:02
espresso martinis and just talk and socialise.
26:06
You know, the point of going out is to socialise and I don't want
26:09
to be and I don't want to go out with a friend and just go to
26:12
like loud clubs and not be able to hear each other or have a
26:14
conversation. Wow, I really sound like a
26:18
grandma, don't I? That's OK.
26:20
I'm just going to embrace it. I'm going to accept it.
26:22
I know you guys will be able to relate.
26:24
I know you, I know you will. But yeah, I'm loving the idea of
26:27
just going to like pubs and bars to just sit down and have a
26:30
casual one and not go too crazy. That's like my perfect idea of
26:34
going out. Now, I know that this is a
26:37
controversial one because I know a lot of people with my
26:39
condition or a disability don't drink.
26:42
But I know that a lot of people do drink and do enjoy drinking
26:45
and, you know, get letting loose and, you know, having a few more
26:49
than they should kind of thing, you know, each to their own.
26:52
Obviously. I think a lot of people say
26:54
life's too short. You know, this disability has
26:57
already taken so much from us that, you know, I still want to
27:01
enjoy the things like having a glass of wine or going out with
27:04
my friends and things, which is completely fair enough.
27:07
But you've also got that other side of life's short, of course.
27:11
But, you know, I don't want to limit that even more.
27:14
I don't want to damage myself even further than the condition
27:19
already is. So yeah, I'm just kind of at the
27:22
point where I'm just being a lot more mindful and kind of testing
27:26
my, not testing my limits, but just being a lot more careful
27:30
with how I am. One thing I have yet to try
27:33
though, is going out with a mobility aid.
27:37
My anxiety of going out in a wheelchair still exists.
27:39
Like just because I'm posting about it on social media does
27:42
not mean I'm like completely accepting of it because there's,
27:46
there's still a lot of things I haven't done.
27:48
And one of them is going out to my hometown where I'm going to
27:51
bump into a lot of people I know with my mobility aids.
27:55
But I know that the first time I go out in a wheelchair, I'm
27:58
going to absolutely love it because it doesn't matter how
28:01
much I drink or you know, whatever, because I'll just be
28:04
safe in my chair. And now that I have the electric
28:08
add on, which is like a joystick, I'll be able to
28:11
control my movements. I won't need someone else to
28:15
push me around. But it's also there is like a
28:18
visual aid for other people to know.
28:20
OK, she's, she's got disability and I am tempted to take my
28:24
walking stick out with me, especially during this time of
28:28
year with the slippery floors and the winds and stuff, but
28:32
also to avoid tripping maybe. But for other people to know,
28:36
you know, not to bump into me because I am very vulnerable.
28:39
And I spoke about this in my last solo episode.
28:42
It will be a good thing for me to show other people please be
28:46
careful around me basically. So I'll let you know if I do end
28:51
up going out with a mobility aid, I might do it over
28:54
Christmas, who knows? There's just a lot of things we
28:58
have to consider going out with a disability.
29:01
And it's not just the obvious things like taking a mobility
29:04
aid. It's also like not everywhere is
29:07
accessible. This time of year can be really
29:09
difficult for a lot of disabled people.
29:11
And when it comes to like parties and things, because a
29:14
lot of places aren't accessible, there's still so many
29:18
restaurants, bars, clubs, pubs that have steps, even just one
29:22
step to get into. And that's really, really
29:25
heartbreaking because it immediately excludes people from
29:29
just being normal and being the same level as everyone else and
29:32
being able to enjoy the night like everyone else.
29:35
There's a lot of concerns that we already have before even
29:38
beginning the night. Another one is toilets, and I do
29:42
find that club toilets and bar toilets are really, really
29:46
small, like the cubicles. Like, you know, once you're sat
29:49
on the toilet, the door is in front of you, like right in your
29:51
face, which means that I wouldn't be able to get up.
29:54
I need room to get up from the toilet because my legs don't
29:57
work basically. So I have to pack Ashimi with me
30:01
just in case I need to stand in case there's no room.
30:04
And in case there's no disabled toilet, I need to take a radar
30:08
key. If there is a disabled toilet
30:10
for me to be able to open the door, I need to take some
30:13
painkillers with me in case that I end up getting some random
30:17
spurts of pain or if I fall over and I'm in a lot of pain.
30:20
There is just a lot more to think about as someone with a
30:23
disability when it comes to going out.
30:25
So it's not as simple as just throwing on a dress and heels
30:29
and going out. You know, you have to, you have
30:32
to think about every single element.
30:33
And there's always going to be that concern at the back of your
30:36
mind about, you know, different places.
30:40
And especially if you haven't booked or organised where you're
30:43
going in advance, you're going to be worried about that
30:46
spontaneity because you can't be as spontaneous with a disability
30:50
when it comes to going out because not everywhere is
30:53
accessible. But maybe that's a whole other
30:55
conversation. I'd be really interested to know
30:59
your thoughts on this. You know, I've just, I felt like
31:02
I've word vomited the whole episode.
31:05
Just my own thoughts around this subject.
31:07
But it is a huge subject right now, but it's also very
31:11
controversial. You know, there's a lot of
31:12
different opinions around it and I would love to know your
31:15
opinion. So if you want to share your
31:17
thoughts or your experiences with what I've talked about
31:20
today, then feel free to comment underneath this episode or give
31:25
me Adm. If you don't want anyone else to
31:27
see but you want to Share your story with me or share your
31:30
thoughts with me, give me Adm on Unbalanced Podcast or Cara
31:35
Savage, whatever 1 you prefer. Because I am really intrigued to
31:39
know, you know what other people have to say about this.
31:42
Especially people that maybe are a little bit older than me or
31:46
you know, further on in life further progressed in their
31:48
disability and how they view this whole drinking and clubbing
31:54
culture and what their relationship is with it there.
31:58
So, you know, I am still young in the grand scheme of things,
32:02
but I feel like I am more mature when it comes to clubbing and
32:07
going out. It is at the end of the day all
32:10
about connection, all about just being with your friends and
32:14
socialising. And there's a lot of different
32:16
ways to do that that don't involve clubbing, that doesn't
32:19
involve spending a lot of money and it doesn't involve drinking
32:23
as well. So I want to explore other ways
32:26
to socialise with my friends that doesn't involve those kind
32:29
of things. But also I am going to enjoy
32:31
Christmas as much as I can. I'm not going to just sit here
32:34
and be Scrooge and not get myself involved in any Christmas
32:39
festivities because this is important to do as well.
32:42
If you do celebrate Christmas, I hope you have a lovely
32:45
Christmas. Hope you have a lovely new year
32:47
as well. I'll be back in the new year
32:49
with another solo episode so that we're back to the old solo
32:53
interview, solo interview routine.
32:55
So I guess I'll catch up with you guys in 2026.
32:58
I can't believe it, it's another year, it's flown by.
33:01
But thank you so much for sticking with me all through
33:04
this year and for just all your support whilst I continue to
33:07
grow this podcast. I love you all so, so much.
33:11
Thank you to Cure LGMD 2Y for sponsoring this podcast for this
33:14
past year. I will speak to you all very,
33:16
very soon in 2026. But until then, have a lovely
33:20
Christmas and a Happy New Year. Bye.